PREVIOUSLY ON "BOSTON LEGAL"...
YOU'RE A LAWYER? I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL.
DID THE JUDGE KNOW YOU'VE NEVER PRACTICED BEFORE
WHEN HE ASSIGNED YOU THIS? CLARENCE, I THINK YOU DID AN EXCELLENT JOB.
WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S SO RIDICULOUS
THAT I'M GONNA MARRY BRAD? YOU DON'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH.
WHEN I LOOK AT YOU THROUGH MY EYES, I REALIZE I DO LOVE YOU,
AND I CAN'T WAIT TO BE YOUR WIFE. BEFORE WE GET STARTED, I WOULD ASK THAT YOUR HONOR
RECUSE HERSELF. YES, ALAN.
AND THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE WOULD GRIND TO A HALT
IF WE RECUSE EVERY JURIST YOU'VE SLEPT WITH. (Alan) I'M READY TO BE DISCIPLINED NOW.
I'M GONNA HATE MYSELF IN THE MORNING.
***
(clears throat)
I WANT TO SEE A NAME PARTNER, LIKE...
CRANE'S PROBABLY DEAD.
SCHMIDT'S SOME KIND OF MINORITY, SO, UH, POOLE.
I'LL TAKE POOLE. DENNY CRANE, STILL ALIVE.
I WAS TOLD YOUR FIRM IS THE BEST. I NEED THE BEST.
THAT WOULD BE ME. WHO ARE YOU?
SIMON GRIFFIN. DON'T WORRY.
THAT NAME WILL SOON BE EMBEDDED IN YOUR HEAD FOREVER,
LIKE JONAS SALK OR PARIS HILTON. CAN'T WAIT.
I HAD H.I.V. I BEAT IT.
I'M A WALKING A.I.D.S. CURE.
NOW I WANT TO CASH IN, HMM?
IS THIS FOR REAL?
I TESTED H.I.V. POSITIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2005
AND THEN ONCE A MONTH THE YEAR AFTER.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO ACCEPT A DEATH SENTENCE.
I KEPT THINKING A MIRACLE WOULD HAPPEN.
AND THEN, THREE MONTHS AGO, IT DID.
I WENT NEGATIVE. YOU'VE HAD THAT RECHECKED?
EVERY OTHER WEEK SINCE.
DR. FREEMONT, MY INTERNIST,
JUST CONFIRMED I'M SPONTANEOUSLY CURED.
ACTUALLY, I'VE HEARD OF SPONTANEOUS CURES FOR CANCER,
BUT NEVER FOR H.I.V. WELL, YOU NEED TO KEEP UP.
I'M THE FIRST AMERICAN WHOSE BLOOD SEROCONVERTS
WITHOUT TREATMENT, NO MEDICATIONS, NOTHING.
THERE'S ONE OTHER GUY IN ENGLAND.
IN THE STATES, MY BODY IS THE FIRST TO FIGHT OFF H.I.V.
ASSUMING YOU CHECK OUT, HOW EXACTLY CAN OUR FIRM HELP YOU?
I NEED A TEAM TO NEGOTIATE BOOK DEALS, TV APPEARANCES,
NOT TO SOUND MATERIALISTIC.
NOT TO.
SHOULDN'T YOU BE LETTING DOCTORS EXAMINE YOU ON THE CHANCE THAT,
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HELP OTHERS? JUST A THOUGHT. I'LL GET TO THAT.
BUT HOW I SEE MYSELF IN THE BIG PICTURE
IS AS AN AMBASSADOR,
SOMEONE EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT AND PROBABLY DESIRES TO BE LIKE,
SOMEBODY WHO INSPIRES OTHERS.
MAINLY, I SEE MYSELF RICH.
***
(Esthero's "Wikked Lil' Grrrls" playing)
(bell dings)
* WIKKED LIL' GRRRLS
* WITH CURVES AND KISSES AND PEARLY WHITES *
* YOU BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR BOYS *
* AND LOCK 'EM UP TIGHT, TIGHT, TIGHT, TIGHT, TIGHT *
* YOU BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR BOYS *
* AND LOCK 'EM UP TIGHT I'M HERE TO SEE ALAN SHORE.
OKAY, IS HE EXPECTING YOU? THEY NEVER EXPECT ME. THEY ALWAYS SEE ME.
I'M JUDGE GLORIA WELDON. MR. SHORE SHOULD BE IN ANY MOMENT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO WAIT?
(elevator bell dings) THANK YOU.
YOUR HONOR!
IT WAS A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU.
PLEASE...
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE AMAZONIAN PLANTS
PSYCHOTRIA VIRIDIS AND BANISTERIOPSIS CAAPI?
NO.
YOU BREW THE TWO TOGETHER,
AND YOU ARRIVE AT A TEA CALLED HOASCA.
THEY CALL IT "THE VINE OF THE SOUL."
YOU GET A 2-MINUTE PEAK FOLLOWED BY A 30-MINUTE BRAIN CRUISE.
ALSO ILLEGAL.
AFTER WORK, I IMBIBE
IN MY CHAMBERS, PRIVATELY.
LAST WEDNESDAY EVENING, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE,
ONE OF MY CLERKS MANAGED TO HELP HIMSELF.
HE GOT HIGH AS A KITE,
DID A NAKED DANCE ON THE COURTHOUSE STEPS.
CAUGHT, SCARED, HE LED THE POLICE BACK TO ME.
I HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR IMPORTATION
AND POSSESSION OF A SCHEDULE I NARCOTIC. THAT'S A BUZZ KILL.
I LOVE MY JOB, ALAN. I'M GOOD AT MY JOB.
YOU HAVE TO BE CREATIVE. ASSUMING I TAKE THE CASE.
YOU ALREADY TOOK THE CASE. SAYS WHO?
SAYS ME. I'M THE JUDGE.
***
ONCE WE MAKE A DEAL WITH A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY,
THEN I'LL HAVE THE RESOURCES TO LAUNCH MY NEW PERSONA
AS A SPOKESPERSON.
TALK SHOWS, REALITY SHOWS, UH, PHOTO OPS IN AFRICA,
A CONSTANT REMINDER
OF THE MESSAGE OF HOPE THAT I REPRESENT.
I'M WELLING UP. I CAN SEE YOU'RE CYNICAL.
WE'LL MAKE A GOOD TEAM.
(clears throat)
DR. FREEMONT? HELLO, SIMON.
YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?
WE KNOW EACH OTHER QUITE WELL, DON'T WE, SIMON?
WHO IS THIS MAN, SIMON?
MY INTERNIST. HAVE I GOT IT AGAIN?
NO, UH, THAT'S NOT IT.
OKAY, WILL SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
MR. GRIFFIN IS TRYING TO SELL HIS BLOOD.
THAT CAN'T HAPPEN. WHY NOT?
BECAUSE I OWN IT.
YOU OWN MY BLOOD?
I APPLIED FOR A PATENT ON YOUR D.N.A., AND I GOT IT,
SO, YES, I OWN IT.
I GO TO NEWTON COLLEGE. IT'S AN EXCELLENT SCHOOL.
I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH THEM.
IT'S THE SORORITY I BELONG TO, OR USED TO, I SHOULD SAY,
GAMMA KAPPA TAU. IT'S A NATIONAL SORORITY,
AND RECENTLY, THE NATIONAL OFFICERS VISITED CAMPUS
AND CONDUCTED SOME SORT OF CAMPUS SURVEY.
IF I START TO TALK TOO FAST, JUST TELL ME.
I TEND TO SPEED UP TOWARDS THE MIDDLE OF PARAGRAPHS. IT'S FINE.
ANYWAYS, ACCORDING TO THIS CAMPUS POLL,
THE MEMBERS OF GAMMA KAPPA TAU AT NEWTON
WERE PERCEIVED AS SOCIALLY AWKWARD.
AS A RESULT, THE NATIONAL OFFICER
SORT OF DIRECTED THE CAMPUS CHAPTER
TO CLEAN UP ITS IMAGE, SO TO SPEAK. MINT? NO, THANKS.
ANYWAY, WE ALL GOT INTERVIEWED,
AFTER WHICH, ABOUT HALF OF US WERE INVITED TO LEAVE,
TOLD TO LEAVE, I SHOULD SAY.
MAINLY, IT WAS A GROUP OF THIN, PRETTY, POPULAR GIRLS
WHO GOT TO STAY.
THE REST OF US GOT BOUNCED.
WHAT REASON DID THEY GIVE FOR KICKING YOU OUT?
THEY SAID THAT WE FAILED TO LIVE UP TO THE SORORITY'S CRITERIA,
AND WHEN I PUSHED THEM ON IT-- I CAN BE A LITTLE PUSHY--
THEY ADDED THAT TO MY LIST OF OFFENSES--
"TOO PUSHY."
I THINK IT'S WRONG.
CAN YOU HELP ME?
I'LL HELP YOU.
***
DENISE, UM, I-I HAVE THIS, UH...
AH.
UNDER THE LAW, YOU'RE COMPLETELY GUILTY.
I WISH I COULD BE MORE OPTIMISTIC.
ALAN...
DO YOU THINK I CAME TO YOU
FOR AN INTERPRETATION OF THE LAW?
I HIRED YOU BECAUSE YOU GET PEOPLE OFF.
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO GET ME O--
I KNOW YOU CAN COME UP WITH SOMETHING.
CAN WE OFFER ANY MEDICAL REASON
FOR YOU NEEDING TO DRINK THIS TEA?
STRESS?
MNH-MNH.
THE D.A.'s IMMEDIATE BOSS, UM...
THERE'S A POSSIBILITY THAT HE MAY BE ON A LITTLE WITCH HUNT.
WE WERE ONCE INVOLVED, BRIEFLY.
NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.
IT ENDED POORLY? FOR HIM.
BUT HE'S NOT THE GUY HANDLING THIS.
THE CASE WENT TO SOMEBODY
WHO WOULD LOVE TO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF BY NAILING...
CONVICTING ME.
DENNY...
THIS IS-- HELLO.
JUDGE WELDON. SHE'S IN SOME LEGAL TROUBLE.
WE MAY NEED TO TRADE ON SOME OF YOUR CONNECTIONS. MMM!
YES, NOW THAT YOUR LEGAL ANALYSIS
IS OUT OF THE WAY, LET'S TURN TO POLITICS.
WHO DO YOU KNOW IN THE D.A.'S OFFICE? I KNOW EVERYBODY.
I'D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.
DENNY, WE HAVE A BIT OF A SITUATION HERE.
(growls)
DENNY?
MMM.
YOU NEED TO FIX THIS.
YOU PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SO FANCY AND GOOD.
UH, FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, THE LAW IS NOT DEFINITIVE.
ANYTHING IN YOUR BODY BELONGS TO YOU.
ONCE IT'S EXCISED, THE LEGAL STATUS IS DEBATABLE.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS. IT'S MY BLOOD.
YES, BUT DR. FREEMONT HAS A PATENT ON THE D.N.A.
IT'S MY BLOOD.
GOD KNOWS I'M THE ONE WHO HAD TO SUFFER WITH IT.
WHY CAN'T I BE THE ONE WHO...
GO AHEAD, YOU CAN SAY IT. "PROFITS."
THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES THINK THAT'S A LOVELY WORD.
WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS?
WELL, FIRST THING, WE COULD GO TO COURT
AND CHALLENGE THE DOCTOR'S CLAIM.
ALTHOUGH AS CRAZY AS IT MAY SEEM,
PUBLIC POLICY MAY SIDE WITH HIM,
SINCE HE'S IN IT FOR THE CURE,
AND YOU, AS YOU SAY, MAINLY JUST WANT TO BE RICH.
***
FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS MEETING,
LET ME DO THE TALKING.
OH, OF COURSE. I WOULD NEVER...
(clears throat) HELLO, MY NAME IS...
YOU? (purrs softly)
GOOD MORNING. JERRY ESPENSON, PAT ONTARIO.
SHE'S THE NATIONAL PRESIDENT OF THE SORORITY GAMMA KAPPA TAU.
HOW MAY WE HELP YOU?
WELL...
YOUR CLIENT OR AN AGENT THEREOF
EXPELLED MY CLIENT FOR BEING SOCIALLY AWKWARD.
UH, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY TRUE. PAT...
THAT ALLEGATION IS WITHOUT BASIS.
I'M SORRY, BUT LEAVING THE MERITS ASIDE,
WHAT REMEDY IS YOUR CLIENT SEEKING HERE?
DOES SHE LONG TO BECOME A MEMBER OF A CLUB
THAT'S NOT TERRIBLY ENTHUSIASTIC TO HAVE HER?
THAT WAS MEAN.
MY INTENT IS ONLY TO BE PRAGMATIC.
LAWSUITS ARE VERY COSTLY.
I'M JUST LOOKING TO APPRECIATE WHAT IT IS
YOUR CLIENT IS SPECIFICALLY AFTER.
$10 MILLION.
(squeaks)
BE SERIOUS, PLEASE.
$15 MILLION.
(chuckles)
CLARENCE... MAY I CALL YOU CLARENCE?
$20! LET'S GO.
I'M DONE.
YOU ARE A MEAN, MEAN, MEAN WOMAN.
***
IT SEEMS DENNY HAS STRUCK OUT WITH HIS CONNECTIONS.
UNLESS I'M MAKING ONE HERE.
MY ONLY PLAY IS TO CONVINCE THIS DISTRICT ATTORNEY
NOT TO BRING CHARGES.
HOW DO YOU PLAN TO DO THAT? WELL, YOU SAY HE'S A POLITICAL CREATURE.
YOU'RE A VERY INFLUENTIAL JUDGE.
ALAN, IF THESE CHARGES STICK, I WON'T BE A JUDGE ANY LONGER.
GLORIA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL YOU.
WE FACE A VERY DIFFICULT ROW HERE.
WHO ELSE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH?
DIDN'T MITT EVER WANT TO MAKE YOU ONE OF HIS WIVES?
OKAY, THAT YOU'LL GET LETTERS FOR.
HOLD ON JUST A SECOND HERE.
YOU'RE SAYING THAT MAN OWNS THAT MAN'S BLOOD?
NOT EXACTLY, YOUR HONOR.
WHAT IS HE, A VAMPIRE?
OH, WE'RE IN FOR AN ADVENTURE. I HEARD THAT!
MY CLIENT GOT A PATENT ON MR. GRIFFIN'S BLOOD, WHICH--
IS RIDICULOUS.
UNDER THE LAW, ONCE SOMEONE REMOVES BLOOD AND TISSUE
FROM YOUR BODY, YOU NO LONGER HAVE LEGAL OWNERSHIP OF IT.
SO MY CLIENT TESTED IT, GOT A PATENT--
NOW HOLD ON JUST A SECOND.
YOU CAN'T TAKE HIS BLOOD WITHOUT HIS CONSENT
UNLESS YOU'RE THE GOVERNMENT.
IF THIS BLOOD IS USED TO FIND A CURE FOR A.I.D.S.,
MY CLIENT SHOULD BE ENTITLED TO PROFIT PARTICIPATION.
AND THE COST OF DRUG RESEARCH
WILL BE SO EXPONENTIALLY MULTIPLIED,
WE WON'T DEVELOP CURES FOR ANYTHING. YES!
AND THEN WE CAN ALL GO TO THE ACADEMY AWARDS
AND WEAR NEW RIBBONS THAT SAY, "LET'S SAVE BIG PHARMACEUTICAL."
HOLD ON JUST A SECOND. DID THIS MAN WIN AN OSCAR?
JUDGE, THIS IS A VERY COMPLICATED CASE.
HE IS USING MY CLIENT'S EXCISED BLOOD AND TISSUE.
MOREOVER, HE'S BASICALLY GOTTEN A PATENT ON THE D.N.A.,
WHICH PREVENTS MY CLIENT FROM EVER MARKETING HIS OWN BLOOD.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM THIS VAMPIRE DOCTOR.
GET HIM UP ON THE STAND.
***
HOW COULD YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, TAKE THIS CASE?
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, I'M SOCIALLY AWKWARD?
OR DOES IT MEAN A LAWYER SHOULD NEVER TAKE A SIDE
HE DOESN'T PERSONALLY AGREE WITH?
THAT WOULD QUITE LIMIT THE FIELD OF OPPORTUNITY, WOULDN'T IT?
AND FOR A SOCIALLY AWKWARD LAWYER,
WELL, HE SHOULD GRAB ANY CASE HE CAN GET, SHOULDN'T HE?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A NICE PERSON. I AM.
LOOK, MY CLIENT DOESN'T WANT THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY.
MAKE ME A REASONABLE OFFER, AND LET'S GO HOME.
$50 MILLION.
***
(squeaks)
DENISE?
THANKS FOR THE, UH, ANTITRUST RESEARCH.
IT WAS VERY HELPFUL.
GOOD.
(clears throat)
I COULDN'T HELP
BUT OVERHEAR THE DEAFENING SILENCE.
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND BRAD?
HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED IN FULL MILITARY UNIFORM.
HE WANTS US
TO TAKE OUR VOWS WITH A SWORD AT HIS SIDE.
WELL, IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO HIM--
PAUL, MY FAMILY IS VERY ANTIWAR.
THE WHOLE COUNTRY...
PROWAR OR NOT,
IT'S A VERY PAINFUL TOPIC,
AND I DON'T WANT IT TO CAST THIS HUGE PALL
OVER MY WEDDING CEREMONY.
THE COUNTRY IS NOT ANTIMILITARY.
I KNOW THIS.
BUT, LOOK...
I AM PROUD OF BRAD BEING A MARINE, PAUL.
I AM.
BUT I DON'T WANT A FULL COLOR GUARD AT MY WEDDING.
I JUST... I DON'T.
***
THERE ARE OVER 350 MILLION TISSUE SAMPLES
FROM 180 MILLION AMERICANS
STORED IN LABS AND HOSPITALS IN THIS COUNTRY.
THEY'VE BEEN USED
TO DEVELOP EVERYTHING FROM THE H.I.V. TEST
TO VACCINES, CANCER TREATMENTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET PERMISSION
FROM THE PATIENT TO USE THEIR TISSUE? WE DO.
IT'S PART OF THE STANDARDIZED FORM
YOU SIGN WHEN YOU GET MEDICAL TREATMENT.
HE SIGNED THAT FORM, BY THE WAY.
ALONG WITH A ZILLION OTHERS YOU JAMMED IN FRONT OF MY FACE. SIT DOWN, YOU.
DOCTOR, IF MR. GRIFFIN IS ALLOWED TO RECLAIM THE RIGHTS
TO HIS DISCARDED BLOOD AND TISSUE
AND SELL THEM TO A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY,
WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WELL, I WORK UNDER A FEDERAL GRANT, WHICH MEANS
ANY FRUITS OF MY WORK BELONG TO THE GOVERNMENT.
THE CURES WE COME UP WITH WILL BELONG TO THE PUBLIC,
AS THEY SHOULD. YOU THINK THIS COULD LEAD TO A CURE?
I DON'T KNOW. IT COULD.
HIS BLOOD SEROCONVERTED. THE H.I.V. VANISHED.
THAT'S ONLY HAPPENED ONCE BEFORE.
IF WE CAN FIND OUT HOW, IMAGINE.
OKAY, BUT MR. GRIFFIN WANTS
TO LET THE RESEARCH TEAMS FROM THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES
FIGURE OUT HOW.
IF THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY DOES THE RESEARCH,
IT'LL BE A TRADE SECRET,
AND THEY WON'T HAVE TO SHARE WITH ANYONE, AND THEY WON'T,
NOT TILL THEY GET ALL THEIR PATENTS IN PLACE,
AND THEY'LL BE ABLE TO CHARGE WHATEVER THEY WANT.
IT WON'T BE A NICKEL A PILL.
IT'S JUST NOT APPROPRIATE, DENNY.
TO PRIVATELY LUST AFTER A WOMAN, FINE,
TO SEND A SIGNAL CONVEYING AS MUCH, OKAY,
BUT GROWLING AND CLAWING AT HER CROSSES A LINE.
BUT I LOVE THIS WOMAN. I THOUGHT YOU LOVED BETHANY.
WELL, I LOVE THIS ONE NOW.
I HAVE A FICKLE HEART. WELL, YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM HER.
WHY? GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON.
OKAY. DIBS.
BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I GROWLED FIRST. DENNY...
I HAVE A PRIOR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.
PRIOR BUT NOT CURRENT. WELL...
WELL, WHAT?
MAYBE I'D LIKE TO... KEEP CURRENT.
YOU LIKE THIS WOMAN?
WELL...
YES.
***
SO DID YOU TELL DENISE
WHY WEARING THE UNIFORM IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?
WELL, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
THE FACT THAT I WANTED TO, THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.
WELL, THAT IS NOT EXACTLY THE WAY MARRIAGE WORKS, BRAD.
YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE. I DID.
I TOLD HER THAT I WANT TO WEAR IT.
NO, YOU NEED TO TELL HER WHY.
YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS.
LOOK, PAUL, I'M NOT GONNA GET ALL GIRLIE, OKAY? OH, DEAR GOD, BRAD.
IF YOU CANNOT TELL DENISE WHAT AND HOW YOU'RE FEELING,
YOU SHOULD NOT BE GETTING MARRIED.
THE SAME THING SUPPOSEDLY HAPPENED AT DePAUL UNIVERSITY.
THE CAMPUS SURVEY SAID THE SISTERS OF GAMMA KAPPA TAU
WERE CONSIDERED SOCIALLY AWKWARD.
APPARENTLY "MISFIT" WASN'T THE IMAGE
THE SORORITY WANTED TO PROJECT.
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED WITH US.
YOU MENTIONED YOU PRESSURED THEM FOR A SPECIFIC REASON.
YES, THEY SAID WE FAILED TO FULFILL OUR RECRUITMENT DUTIES,
BUT NOBODY IN OUR SORORITY EVER DID MUCH
IN THE WAY OF RECRUITING.
WHAT THEY MEANT BY RECRUITMENT WAS BE PRETTY AND POPULAR,
SO THAT OTHER GIRLS WOULD WANT TO JOIN. OBJECTION. SPECULATION.
FOUNDATION. ARGUMENTATIVE. (as Clevant) MAKE UP YO' MIND, JERRY!
THE OBJECTION IS OVERRULED.
(normal voice) TH-THANK YOU, MARCIE.
(Jerry) I COULD BE WRONG,
BUT WHEN ONE GOES ABOUT TRYING TO JOIN A SORORITY,
YOU BASICALLY HOPE THE GIRLS THERE LIKE YOU ENOUGH
TO INVITE YOU TO BE A MEMBER. AM I RIGHT? I SUPPOSE.
DID YOU KNOW WHAT THE SPECIFIC CRITERIA WERE
WHEN YOU INITIALLY INTERVIEWED? NO, I-I FIGURED--
THEY EITHER LIKED YOU, OR THEY DON'T. RIGHT.
AND THEY DID. NOW THEY DON'T.
THEY BOUNCED ME FOR BEING SOCIALLY OFF!
DID ANYONE SAY THAT TO YOU? I'M NOT STUPID. AFTER THE CAMPUS SURVEY,
THEY WANTED TO CHANGE THEIR IMAGE, SO--
WHAT WAS THE IMAGE BEFORE YOU INITIALLY INTERVIEWED,
IF YOU KNOW? WELL--
THAT THIS WAS A PLACE FOR THE SOCIALLY OFF? NO.
SO WHEN YOU SAID, "CHANGE THEIR IMAGE,"
DID YOU REALLY MEAN TO SAY "CONFORM WITH THEIR IMAGE"?
I'M CONFUSED. (as Clevant) SIT DOWN.
OBJECTION!
YOU'RE OBJECTING TO YOUR OWN QUESTION?
HE JUST TOLD ME TO SIT DOWN IN A MENACING TONE.
I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING. OH, MY.
IF YOU HEAR VOICES, THEY'D NEVER LET YOU INTO GAMMA KAPPA TAU.
(high-pitched guffawing)
(stops laughing)
SORRY.
I HAVE A FUNNY LAUGH.
THEY DIDN'T LIKE THAT EITHER.
DROP THE CHARGES? YES.
SHE HAD A 20-OUNCE BAG OF HALLUCINOGENS IN HER CHAMBERS.
IT WAS TEA.
NOT TO MENTION, THERE'S NO REAL PROOF IT WAS HERS.
I HAVE THE CONFESSION OF THE CLERK.
THAT'S IT? THE LINCHPIN OF YOUR CASE
IS THE NAKED, HALLUCINATING DANCING MAN
WHO WILL SAY JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
TO TEMPER HIS EMBARRASSMENT, LET ALONE CRIMINAL CHARGES.
ARE YOU REALLY GONNA CHALLENGE THIS?
LOOK, YOU'VE HAD MANY CASES BEFORE JUDGE WELDON.
SHE'S A FAIR AND TALENTED JURIST.
IN FACT, YOU'VE WON MANY CASES BEFORE JUDGE WELDON,
AS YOU'VE AMASSED YOUR IMPRESSIVE RECORD,
WHICH, AS I SEE IT, IS ABOUT ONE HIGH-PROFILE CONVICTION AWAY
FROM POLITICAL ADVANCEMENT. NOT ABOUT THAT.
WELL, HERE'S WHAT IT COULD BE ABOUT,
AND PLEASE STOP ME IF YOU'VE ALREADY CONSIDERED THIS
AND SAID, "HELL, IT'S ONLY MY CAREER."
A JUDGE WITH A CRIMINAL CONVICTION,
ONE FOR USING HALLUCINOGENS NO LESS,
PRESENTS ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS.
ONE MIGHT HAVE TO WONDER, WAS SHE ON THE WHOOPEE TEA
WHILE PRESIDING OVER PREVIOUS CASES?
IMAGINE ALL THE FELONS SITTING IN JAIL
SALIVATING AT THE CHANCE TO OVERTURN THEIR CONVICTIONS.
QUITE A FEW OF YOUR CONVICTIONS, MAYBE.
SO MUCH FOR THE IMPRESSIVE RECORD.
BUT I AM A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR BOSS.
YOU DO KNOW HE AND THE JUDGE
USED TO BE ROMANTICALLY ENTWINED?
BUT WHO REALLY WORRIES ABOUT THAT,
GIVEN YOUR LARGER CONCERN
OF ALIENATING ALL THOSE OTHER STATE COURT JUDGES,
WHO TEND TO GET CONSTIPATED AND VENGEFUL
WHENEVER ONE OF THEIR OWN IS TARGETED?
WHAT NEEDS TO COME FIRST HERE IS PRINCIPLE,
CERTAINLY NOT POLITICAL PRAGMATISM.
IF THAT WERE IN PLAY, WE NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR,
WOULD WE?
***
FIRST OF ALL, I SIGNED A STACK OF PAPERS.
I DIDN'T READ ANY OF THEM. WHY NOT?
DOES ANYBODY? DOCTORS SAY, "SIGN HERE OR WE WON'T TREAT YOU."
THAT ISN'T DURESS? PLUS, I HAD JUST GOTTEN NEWS
I WAS H.I.V. POSITIVE. I-I WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK.
AND IF YOU MAINTAINED OWNERSHIP OF YOUR DISCARDED BLOOD
AND TISSUE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT? I WOULD SELL IT
TO A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY, WHICH WOULD LIKELY
INCREASE THE CHANCES OF DISCOVERING A CURE.
PRIVATE ENTERPRISE VERSUS THE GOVERNMENT?
IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE.
LOOK HOW THE GOVERNMENT HAS SPENT OUR MONEY.
DID YOU TAKE TIME OUT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THIS CURE?
OR DID YOU IMMEDIATELY PHONE YOUR ACCOUNTANT?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A DEADLY DISEASE?
I DIDN'T, AND I COUNT MY BLESSINGS.
JUST WONDER IF YOU COUNT YOURS.
IF I STRIKE YOU AS HAVING A PSYCHOLOGICAL DEFICIT OR TWO,
IF I COME OFF AS BEING A LITTLE BITTER--
YOU'RE BITTER?
YOU JUST DODGED A DEATH SENTENCE.
MAYBE IT'S ME, BUT I'D THINK YOUR HEART
MIGHT BE INSTILLED BY SOME SENSE OF CHARITY. CHARITY?
(Shirley) SIMON. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
FOR TWO YEARS, I WAS SHUNNED, DISCRIMINATED AGAINST,
MADE TO FEEL LIKE A LEPER. SIMON.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SOCIETY TREATS PEOPLE WITH H.I.V.?
IT'S NOT CHARITABLE,
AND IF YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO S--
***
CLARENCE, HOW'S YOUR TRIAL WITH JERRY GOING?
HE'S MEAN.
I'M SORRY?
JERRY ESPENSON.
HE'S NOT A NICE PERSON.
MAYBE HE'S JUST ACTING HOW HE THINKS LAWYERS SHOULD ACT,
BUT... IT'S MEAN.
OH.
CLEVANT SPOKE TODAY...
IN COURT.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO REALLY SPEAK AS HIM.
I JUST... DID.
I CAN BE TOUGHER AS HIM.
I HAVE TO CROSS THE SORORITY WOMAN TOMORROW.
I THINK I'LL DO BETTER AS CLEVANT.
CLARENCE, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU WHAT TO DO,
BUT IF YOU START SPEAKING AS CLEVANT,
YOU COULD LOSE CREDIBILITY WITH THE JUDGE.
THAT WON'T SERVE YOUR CLIENT.
I'M NOT SURE
I CAN CROSS THIS WOMAN.
I THINK YOU CAN.
(chortles)
CLARENCE... (sighs)
I THINK YOU CAN.
***
SORORITIES ARE LIKE ANY CLUB.
YOU CHOOSE PEOPLE YOU WANT FOR MEMBERS.
SOME OF THESE PEOPLE, LIKE MS. COOPER,
HAD BEEN CHOSEN AND WERE THEN DISINVITED.
AND LIKE ANY CLUB, SOMETIMES YOU CHOOSE THE WRONG MEMBERS.
THIS GOES ON IN COUNTRY CLUBS, BRIDGE CLUBS.
LOOK, IF THEY'RE SOCIAL IN NATURE, WHICH SORORITIES ARE,
THEIR SOCIAL SKILLS COME INTO PLAY.
SO YOU'RE ADMITTING THEIR SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS
WAS THE CAUSE FOR THEIR DISCHARGE? IT WAS A FACTOR.
BAD FOR THE IMAGE. (chuckles) IN SO MANY WORDS.
AND BEFORE YOU ALL WAVE YOUR ARMS IN DISMAY,
LET ME TELL YOU, EVERY FRATERNITY, EVERY SORORITY
WORKS EXACTLY THE SAME WAY.
YOU POPULATE THE FRANCHISE WITH KIDS
WHO SOCIALIZE WELL TOGETHER.
IN SUCCESS, IT BECOMES A PLACE
WHERE INCOMING FRESHMAN WANT TO JOIN.
THEY ALL TRADE ON IMAGE.
AND YOUR IMAGE IS BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE?
ATTRACTIVE IS PERHAPS A NICER IMAGE THAN UNATTRACTIVE.
BUT MAINLY, THE IMAGE IS SOCIAL.
ANTISOCIAL PEOPLE DON'T BEST ACCOMPLISH THAT.
YOU DIDN'T GET RID OF MY CLIENT FOR BEING ANTISOCIAL.
IT'S BECAUSE SHE WAS SOCIALLY AWKWARD.
LOOK, I DIDN'T MAKE THAT DECISION PERSONALLY,
SO I CAN'T BE SURE,
BUT IF SOMEBODY IS STANDING AT A PARTY NOT TALKING TO ANYBODY,
THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND ANTISOCIAL
IS A TOUGH ONE TO DRAW. AND LOOKS?
YOU LIKE YOUR SORORITY SISTERS TO BE PRETTY.
THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY A CRITERION.
I THINK IF YOU WERE TO DO AN ANALYSIS,
YOU'D PROBABLY DISCOVER
GOOD-LOOKING PEOPLE TEND TO BE MORE SOCIALLY OUTGOING.
WHAT ABOUT VALUES?
OF COURSE WE WANT PEOPLE OF GOOD VALUES.
YOU CONSIDER IT GOOD VALUES
TO THROW SOMEBODY OUT OF YOUR CLUB BECAUSE SHE'S SHY?
AS I SAID, THE MAIN POINT OF THE CLUB IS SOCIAL,
FUN TO BE AROUND.
IF A MEMBER SUDDENLY SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION,
OUT SHE GOES?
THAT ISN'T FAIR.
WELL, IF SHE WERE NO LONGER FUN TO BE AROUND--
OBJECTION. HE'S TOTALLY TWISTING HER WORDS, YOUR HONOR.
(as Clevant) WOULD YOU EVER TAKE SOMEBODY WITH ASPERGER'S?
OBJECTION! IF THEY MADE FUNNY SOUNDS
AND WALKED AROUND WITH THEIR HANDS ON THEIR THIGHS?
CHEAP SHOT, CHEAP SHOT!
(normal voice) I WAS JUST ASKING WHAT-- YOU MADE IT PERSONAL AGAINST ME!
NO, NO, I WAS-- YES, YOU DID, YOU, YOU...
YOU FAT BOY!
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? YOU ATTACK ME, I'LL ATTACK YOU RIGHT BACK.
AAH!
I WON'T BE ATTACKED. I WON'T BE OFFENDED.
I WON'T BE PICKED ON LIKE THAT. DO YOU HEAR ME?
(as Clevant) NOW YOU LOOK HERE, YOU...
(normal voice) I WILL TRY MY CASE. YOU TRY YOURS.
(confident voice) YEAH, WELL,
HERE'S THE THING ABOUT THAT, PAL.
ONCE I GET DONE WITH YOU, I...
(as Clevant) DON'T FORGET YOUR LITTLE HOP, BRO!
(hoots)
***
I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET ALAN.
HE ASKED ME TO TAKE OVER.
DID HE ASK YOU TO TAKE MY HAND?
GLORIA, I KNOW A FANTASTIC LITTLE REHAB,
VERY ROMANTIC.
AND IF THE HALLUCINOGENS DON'T GET YOU IN,
I KNOW SOME WONDERFUL ETHNIC SLURS.
DO YOU THINK IT'S RIGHT TO BE HITTING ON ME?
IT FEELS RIGHT.
AND WHAT WOULD ALAN THINK? ALAN WHO?
GREENSPAN, A MAN CONSIDERABLY SEXIER THAN YOU.
I KNEW YOU WERE THERE. I NEED TO TALK TO MY CLIENT, DENNY.
GET OUT. YOUR CLIENT IS MY CLIENT.
PLEASE GET OUT.
YOU UPSET WITH ME?
ALAN, SOMETIMES THE MAD COW JUST--
OUT.
***
THE PLAINTIFF WANTS TO MAKE THIS CASE ABOUT,
DID SIMON GRIFFIN, WHO HAS A GRADUATE DEGREE,
KNOW WHAT HE WAS SIGNING WHEN HE ALLOWED DR. FREEMONT
TO USE HIS BLOOD IN MEDICAL RESEARCH?
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THIS SHOULD REALLY BE ABOUT--THREE NUMBERS.
40, 4 AND 3,
LIKE A LOCKER COMBINATION.
40 MILLION PEOPLE HAVE A.I.D.S. WORLDWIDE.
4 MILLION WERE NEWLY DIAGNOSED LAST YEAR ALONE,
AND 3 MILLION DIED.
SIMON GRIFFIN'S BLOOD HAS THE POTENTIAL
TO MAKE THAT LOCKER COMBINATION
ZERO, ZERO AND ZERO.
NOW WE DON'T OFTEN GET THE CHANCE
TO MAKE SOMEONE DO THE RIGHT THING.
MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE DO THE WRONG THING,
LIKE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES CHARGING $15,000 A YEAR
FOR A.I.D.S. MEDICATION IT COSTS THEM $350 TO MAKE.
INDIA BROUGHT THEM TO TASK FOR THAT,
AND NOW IT'S SOLD THERE AT COST.
THIS IS A.I.D.S., YOUR HONOR.
AND THE WORLD IS STANDING UP AND SAYING
YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE YOUR FORTUNE
OFF THE IMPENDING DEATHS OF 40 MILLION PEOPLE.
TAKING SOMETHING FROM SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE GREATER GOOD--
WE HAVE A NAME FOR THAT. IT'S CALLED EMINENT DOMAIN.
IF YOU HAVE A PROPERTY, A-A HOME
THAT'S IN THE WAY OF A PLANNED FREEWAY,
THE GOVERNMENT CAN JUST COME RIGHT IN AND TAKE IT.
IF WE CAN DO THAT TO FACILITATE TRAFFIC,
THEN WHY DON'T WE DO IT TO CURE A.I.D.S.?
WHY DON'T WE JUST SAY, "TOO BAD, SIMON,
"BUT THE LAWS THAT PROTECT EVERYBODY ELSE
"DON'T PROTECT YOU BECAUSE... (chuckles) WELL,
"YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT WE REALLY, REALLY WANT,
SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO COME IN AND TAKE IT."
DOES ANYONE HERE REMEMBER THE FLU VACCINE CRISIS
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?
THAT WAS THE GOVERNMENT'S BABY.
THE FLU KILLS 36,000 AMERICANS A YEAR.
AND YET, THE GOVERNMENT LEFT 30 MILLION WITHOUT VACCINATIONS.
OOPS.
SO EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE SIMON GRIFFIN...
YOU MAY THINK-- HE'S AN ASS.
YES, HE IS.
AND IF YOU WERE IN HIS POSITION,
MAYBE YOU WOULD BE TOTALLY SELFLESS,
BUT SIMON GRIFFIN ISN'T SAYING NO ONE CAN TEST HIM.
HE'S JUST SAYING HE WANTS TO CHOOSE WHO DOES IT,
AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO CHOOSE THE SAME BUNCH
THAT WAS IN CHARGE OF THE FLU.
***
I IMAGINE IN A MOMENT OF CALM REFLECTION
OR SOUND JUDGMENT,
THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY SIMPLY SAW HIS WAY TO DROPPING THE CHARGES.
OH, THANK GOD.
LET'S LEAVE GOD OUT OF IT.
YOU CAN THANK ME, GLORIA.
HOW ABOUT...
I INVITE YOU OVER FOR A CUP OF TEA?
I'M NOT A GREAT FAN OF HALLUCINOGENS.
THAT COMMERCIAL WITH THE FRYING EGG
HAD A PROFOUND EFFECT ON ME.
(laughs)
SO...
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO?
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO IT RIGHT HERE?
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME.
AND IF IT GOES WELL, PERHAPS ANOTHER ONE.
AND IF THAT ONE GOES WELL, MAYBE A THIRD,
AFTER WHICH I MIGHT KISS YOU AT YOUR FRONT DOOR.
YOU WANT TO...
DATE.
I'D LIKE TO GO OUT WITH YOU.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU WOULDN'T RATHER JUST RIP MY CLOTHES OFF?
POSITIVE.
COULD I AT LEAST GIVE YOU AN ADVANCE ON THAT THIRD DATE?
WELL, IF YOU MUST.
***
(door slams)
I GUESS DENNY DIDN'T LIKE IT.
***
(seagull calls)
***
MR. BELL, WE'LL HEAR FROM YOU.
(purrs)
MM. (hoots)
(clears throat)
COLLEGE IS A PLACE
WHERE WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN,
BELIEVING THEY ARE OUR FUTURE.
DO WE REALLY WANT A FUTURE OF SOCIAL INTOLERANCE,
WHERE PEOPLE ARE OSTRACIZED FOR BEING SHY,
WHERE THE BEAUTIFUL AND THE POPULAR ARE CELEBRATED,
AND THE LESS ATTRACTIVE AND THE AWKWARD
ARE SCORNED?
GAMMA KAPPA TAU IS A NATIONAL CLUB
PROMOTING A MESSAGE THAT IS AS INTOLERANT
AS IT SHOULD BE UNACCEPTABLE.
I SUPPOSE IT'S ONE THING
IF THEY NEVER WANTED TO INVITE MARCIE COOPER IN.
BUT HAVING INVITED HER,
TO THROW HER OUT
ON GROUNDS OF SOCIAL UNFITNESS...
SHAME ON THEM.
COLLEGE IS ALSO ABOUT PREPARING STUDENTS
FOR THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
LAST TIME I CHECKED, IT'S PRETTY TOUGH OUT THERE.
THERE'S THE OLD ADAGE,
"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST."
THERE'S SOME TRUTH TO THAT.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW OPPOSING COUNSEL
IS A FUNDAMENTALLY KIND MAN,
SENSITIVE.
HE CHOSE TO EXPLOIT MY ASPERGER'S SYNDROME
TO WIN THIS CASE.
MY VERY BEST FRIEND,
A LAWYER THAT I HAD A CASE AGAINST NOT TOO LONG AGO,
HE, TOO, EXPLOITED MY ASPERGER'S.
HE'S A VERY GOOD MAN
WHO OPTED FOR CRUELTY AS A STRATEGY.
IF MARCIE COOPER COMES OUT OF THIS EXPERIENCE
THINKING THAT PEOPLE CAN BE CRUEL,
EVEN THE KIND, SENSITIVE ONES,
IF SHE'S LEARNED THAT SHE WILL BE JUDGED
NOT SIMPLY ON MERIT
OR THE CONTENT OF HER CHARACTER,
BUT ON HOW SHE LOOKS AND SOCIALIZES WITH OTHERS,
SHE'S GOTTEN AN EDUCATION,
ONE THAT WILL SERVE HER IN LIFE.
THIS IS A FREE SOCIETY.
PEOPLE GET TO CHOOSE THEIR FRIENDS.
CLUBS GET TO CHOOSE THEIR MEMBERS.
SOMETIMES IT'S VERY UGLY AND UNFAIR.
THAT'S LIFE.
***
HEY.
M-MY DAD SERVED IN VIETNAM.
HE PUT HIS LIFE ON THE LINE.
BUT INSTEAD OF COMING HOME TO A HERO'S WELCOME,
HE FOUND A COUNTRY THAT WAS EITHER ASHAMED OF THE WAR
OR JUST WANTED TO DENY IT,
DENY HIM.
AND I FEAR THAT OUR SOLDIERS IN IRAQ
COULD FACE THE SAME THING.
AND WE SEEM TO BE IN SUCH A HURRY
FOR THIS THING TO BE OVER WITH,
SO WE CAN GO BACK TO PRETENDING...
SEE, IN VIETNAM, SOLDIERS DIDN'T SURVIVE.
BUT TODAY THEY DO.
AND THEY COME HOME MISSING LEGS AND ARMS
AND EYES...
YOU KNOW, AND NOT MUCH TO CLING TO.
THEY NEED US TO BE PROUD OF THEM, YOU KNOW?
AND THEY NEED US TO SHOW IT...
EVERY CHANCE WE GET.
***
TRUTH BE TOLD,
I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT THE HELL ANYBODY WAS TALKING ABOUT IN THIS CASE.
IT WAS CLEAR TO ME
THAT MR. GRIFFIN, AS I SAID, WAS AN ASS.
THE IDEA OF ONE PERSON GETTING A PATENT
ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S D.N.A... (chuckles)
WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A SENILE OLD GOAT
TO BE BEFUDDLED BY THAT.
(chuckles)
BUT THE MOST CONFUSING THING OF ALL
IS THE IDEA THAT A.I.D.S. MAYBE CAN BE CURED
AND PROGRESS IS REPEATEDLY BEING STALLED
BY A BUNCH OF DRUG COMPANIES AND SCIENTISTS
GOING FOR PATENTS AND FIGHTING OVER PROFITS.
I DON'T DOUBT THE SINCERITY
OF THE DOCTOR.
LEGALLY, I SUPPOSE, HE DOES HAVE A PATENT,
BUT I KEEP COMING BACK TO,
THIS IS SIMON GRIFFIN'S BLOOD,
AND HE'S AN ASS.
I RULE IN FAVOR
OF THE DOCTOR.
ADJOURNED.
(gallery murmuring indistinctly)
WHAT THE... WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
HE PLAYED THE ASS CARD.
***
HAS THE JURY REACHED A VERDICT?
WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.
IN THE MATTER OF
MARCIE COOPER vs. GAMMA KAPPA TAU SORORITY,
WE THE JURY FIND IN FAVOR OF THE DEFENDANT.
(judge) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY... (hoots)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. (bangs gavel)
YOU'RE DISMISSED.
I'M SORRY.
WELL, YOU TRIED.
YOU FOUGHT, MARCIE. THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
YOU DIDN'T SIT BACK AND TAKE IT. YEAH.
I SURE COULD HAVE USED THAT $50 MILLION, THOUGH.
(high-pitched guffaws)
***
SO... HANDS BEAT CLARENCE?
WERE THEY ANY GOOD?
THEY WERE BOTH EXCELLENT,
TOUGH, SHREWD, MERCENARY,
ALL THE IDEALS WE ASPIRE TO.
IT SADDENED ME BEYOND BELIEF.
WELL, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
JUDGE GLORIA WELDON.
YOU KNOW, DENNY,
I DIDN'T APPRECIATE YOU HITTING ON HER
AFTER I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU I WAS INTERESTED IN HER.
ALAN... I WOULDN'T MOVE IN ON YOUR GIRL.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET THERE FIRST
TO MAKE HER MY GIRL. WELL, SHE IS MY GIRL.
GOT IT? (clears throat)
YOU WENT AFTER SHIRLEY WHEN I TOLD YOU NOT TO.
FINE. I'LL STAY AWAY FROM SHIRLEY.
YOU STAY AWAY FROM GLORIA. MM-HMM. MM.
YOU LIKE THIS WOMAN?
DO YOU LOVE HER? (chuckles)
DENNY, I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD A DATE WITH HER.
BUT YOU THINK YOU COULD LOVE HER.
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LET MYSELF LOVE A WOMAN,
I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW.
IT'S... TERRIFYING.
BUT THAT'S THE BEST PART,
BEING ON THE HIGH WIRE.
IT'S GOOD TO BE IN LOVE, ALAN.
YOU AREN'T JUST SAYING THAT?
IT'S EVERYTHING.
JUST DON'T LET HER CUT INTO OUR SPECIAL TIME.
I WOULD NEVER. 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY LIKE TO DO, WOMEN, YOU KNOW?
FIRST THING, JUST CUT YOU OFF FROM YOUR FRIENDS.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN. YOU TELL HER RIGHT FROM THE START,
I COME FIRST. DONE.
IF I NEED A SLEEPOVER... YOU GET PRIORITY.
PROMISE?
PROMISE.
SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, ALAN.
YES, SHE IS.
***
Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
NEXT ON "BOSTON LEGAL"...
I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
IT'S ABOUT YOU SUING THE GOVERNMENT
FOR GUANTANAMO ABUSES.
DON'T YOU BE TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FOR HER.
TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF. I BEG YOUR PARDON?
YOU'VE ALREADY GOT A JUDGE. LET ME TAKE THIS ONE.
NO, I DON'T WANT YOU COMPROMISING MY CASE.
JE--JERRY.
I WANT MY JOB BACK. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO COME BACK?
I MISS THE CAMARADERIE.
HE TRIED TO KILL YOU.
W--NOT REALLY.
SHIRLEY SCHMIDT HAS CONDITIONED MY REENTRY ON YOUR OPINION.
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU NOW. NO.