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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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MARY ALICE:
Previously on Desperate Housewives...
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Susan's dream came true.
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Here. Move back in with your family.
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(CHUCKLES)
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Bree had to put her desire on hold.
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Just till my divorce goes through.
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I think that's very admirable.
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Tom and Lynette's weekend away
made things worse.
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Do you think we're in trouble?
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What do you think?
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Gabby visited the town
where she was born.
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The old place hasn't changed a bit.
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- Stop!
- And to her surprise...
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- Go closer.
- ... her stepfather followed her home.
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He's supposed to be dead.
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One clear, moonlit evening,
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there was a dinner party
on Wisteria Lane.
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And everyone would agree
that it was a night to remember.
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They would remember
the crisp chardonnay,
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the tangy salad,
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and the savory chicken.
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But the most memorable part
of the evening
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wasn't the food.
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In the year since she had left the Lane,
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Susan Delfino
had missed many things.
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The laughter of happy children,
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the smile of the cheerful mailman,
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the smell of wisteria in bloom.
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(SNEEZES)
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But what Susan missed the most
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were her friends.
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Dishes are done. Can I go now?
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We just started unpacking.
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Come on! It's been a whole year
since I could walk outside,
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knock on a door,
and hang with the girls.
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Can we at least finish the kitchen?
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(SIGHS)
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Fine.
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(CUTLERY CLATTERING)
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Susan.
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Go play with your friends.
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Yay! (GIGGLES)
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Just be home by dinner.
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Whoo! I win.
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(BOTH CHUCKLE)
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- You are in great shape.
- (BOTH PANTING)
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Did it ever occur to you that
a mere woman could out-race you?
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Did it ever occur to you that I'd rather
run behind you than in front of you?
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That is so sweet.
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(BREE CHUCKLING)
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(EXHALES)
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I have to take a shower.
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What a coincidence. Me, too.
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Really? We're doing this?
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I thought we couldn't have sex
until your divorce was final.
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Yeah, I know, but I thought about it
a lot these last 40 seconds,
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- and I think I'm done waiting.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
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Oh! (GROANS)
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Hey! Can you spare a cup of coffee
for a new neighbor?
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Susan! I just finished a run.
But tomorrow for sure.
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I'll race you to the shower.
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- Whoo!
- Wait.
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Wait? What?
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I think there's a reason
why God sent someone
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to the door that exact moment.
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I don't. And I know him
a lot better than you do.
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Hey, I don't wanna wait either.
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I'm just so close
to getting out of my marriage.
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How close?
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Doreen and I meet
with the lawyers tomorrow.
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Now, as long as she shows up
in a good mood,
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we could wrap it up in no time.
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So our sex life is dependent
on your wife's mood?
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Her little boutique isn't doing so great.
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And the worse business is,
the crankier she gets.
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The crankier she gets,
the more she drags this out.
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All right. Then, I guess
we'll be showering separately.
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You go first.
Just don't use all the hot water.
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Don't worry. I won't be using any.
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So...
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The kids are gonna want dinner.
Should we just order pizza?
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Fine.
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You want me to unpack for you?
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No, that's okay. Just leave it.
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What are you doing?
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Never mind.
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What do you mean, "never mind"?
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Why are you keeping
your suitcase packed?
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The company has an apartment
near the office.
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I think I should move in there
for a while.
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No. No, Tom...
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You don't think some time apart
would do us good?
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"Time apart"? Come on,
we both know what that means.
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It means if you walk out that door,
you'll never come back in.
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You don't know that.
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We just had a three-hour car ride
and didn't say a single word.
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I do know that.
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(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
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Guess who just moved back
on the Lane!
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Oh! Oh, my gosh!
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That's so great! I'm so happy for you!
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I'm just right in the middle
of something, but I...
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I'm gonna call you, all right? Yay!
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So, what are you saying?
You're done trying to work things out?
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We've been trying.
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We can't give up.
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We have to keep fighting for this,
fighting to save our family.
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Are we fighting to save it,
or are we just fighting?
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- It happens...
- Lynette.
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Leave the suitcase where it is.
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- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- (GASPS)
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Hey, Gabby!
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Hi, neighbor. Invite me in for wine
so I can get out of unpacking.
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Susan, hi. I was just about
to go out. Rain check?
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Hey, what are you doing?
I thought you missed your friends.
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Yeah, still do.
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(DOORBELL RINGS)
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Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just back from a run,
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and on my way out
and kind of busy right now.
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- I told you she was mad. She's mad.
- Will you believe that?
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I mean, come on.
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Susan, we are so sorry.
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We didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
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We should have made time, especially
after everything you've been through.
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It's just... To be away so long
and be totally ignored.
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I was home all day. My bell never rang.
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Who wants coffee?
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(CHUCKLES)
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So, there's Paul,
and he is struggling to get loose.
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And Felicia is right on top of me,
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holding the needle
just inches from my...
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(CELL PHONE RINGING)
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Oh!
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It's Doug, my ex. Third time this week.
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I'll bet you anything
that bimbo of his walked out,
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and now he wants to hook up with me.
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Will I say yes? Well, depends.
If he really asks me nicely...
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Renee. This is Susan's moment.
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Well, she could've told me
her story yesterday. I was home.
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I'm just saying.
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Susan, we wanna give you and Mike
a proper welcome home,
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so we are having a dinner party
in your honor.
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Oh, you guys don't have to go
to all that trouble.
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- Whose house?
- (LAUGHS)
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All of ours. It's an old-fashioned,
progressive dinner.
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We're doing drinks and appetizers
at my place.
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Salad at mine.
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And for the entrée, I am making
my famous roast poussins.
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It's French for "baby chickens."
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I'm serving cheesecake.
It's American for "dessert."
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You guys are so sweet to do this.
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I don't wanna get emotional,
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but just being here in my own kitchen
with my best friends,
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- I mean, I'm just...
- Aw!
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Honey!
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(CELL PHONE RINGING)
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Keep going. I'm not gonna answer it.
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Renee, I was going to do
a little clothes shopping later,
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and I was hoping you might join me.
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Thank God.
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Are we burning your clothes
before or after we go?
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I was hoping we'd try
that little boutique on Lake Street,
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the one Chuck's wife owns.
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What? You wanna go talk to the wife?
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Oh, bad idea, Bree. Very bad idea.
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No. Chuck's meeting with her
to work out a settlement,
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and he's hoping she'll be
in a good mood,
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which she will be if we go to her store
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and spend a bundle on clothes.
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I'm buying, so it's a win-win.
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You'll be helping a friend and getting
a free new dress for the dinner party.
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I'm not sure these clothes are quite
the thing for a dinner party.
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Dinner? I wouldn't wear them
to a drive-by shooting.
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Just smile, okay?
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Doreen's watching, and we're here
to lift up her spirits.
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Oh. In that case...
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Excuse me, miss.
We just love your clothes.
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Yes, they are so expressive.
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Oh, I'm so glad to hear you say so.
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From the way they've been selling,
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I was starting to think
they were too edgy for Fairview.
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Not for us.
I'm gonna take these tops, and...
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(GASPS) Ooh!
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These beautifully
ventilated jeans, and...
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(GASPS) Oh!
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Look at this lovely skull purse!
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Hey, don't you want to try them on first?
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Yeah, Bree, you really should.
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You two just made my day.
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And you made ours!
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I just love this look on me.
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Thank you so much, Bree.
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You're welcome, Doreen.
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How do you know my name?
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I don't.
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You just said it. You called me Doreen.
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Oh! Well, it was on your name tag.
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Or would be if you had one.
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00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,446
That's why we don't check out the wife.
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What? Oh, I get it.
201
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,427
You and Chuck are an item, huh?
202
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,357
So you came to get a good look
at the woman
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whose husband you're screwing?
204
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:41,531
Hey. Bree here is a class act.
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00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,625
Not that you can tell at the moment.
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00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:46,035
For your information,
Chuck has not slept with me,
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00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,902
and he won't while he's still married.
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00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,507
(SCOFFS) Seriously?
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00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,634
Seriously?
210
00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:52,234
Seriously!
211
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:55,644
He has high ethical standards,
and so do I.
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00:11:57,683 --> 00:12:01,585
Sorry. I guess I misjudged you.
213
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,313
Apology accepted.
214
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:05,687
And I hope for your sake
as well as for mine
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00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,693
that you and Chuck
come to an agreement soon.
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00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,688
You know what? I think we just might.
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00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:13,355
Wonderful.
218
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,576
Arthur? Doreen.
219
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,903
You know that agreement
I said I'd sign?
220
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:32,109
Tear it up. We can do better.
221
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,673
(WHIRRING)
222
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:03,881
(ENGINE STARTS)
223
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,477
(ENGINE STARTS)
224
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,734
I thought you were dead.
225
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,602
That's the good thing
about a small town.
226
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:08,306
You start a rumor
a hundred miles away, nobody checks.
227
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:11,806
Okay, so you're a liar.
228
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,350
Now why are you here?
What do you want?
229
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:18,148
You were in Las Colinas
stirring things up again.
230
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:22,392
It took me a long time to start
my life over someplace else,
231
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:24,224
and I don't need another witch hunt.
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00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,956
Don't come near me!
233
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:30,191
Gabrielle, please.
(CHUCKLING) Who are you kidding?
234
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:31,895
(FIRES)
235
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:36,366
I'm not the little girl who doesn't
know how to defend herself anymore.
236
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,335
What's going on here?
237
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,344
I'm trying to think of a reason
not to kill you!
238
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,246
I know we had our problems...
239
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:45,750
I don't remember you having problems.
240
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:49,219
I remember you getting drunk on
tequila, and coming into my room,
241
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,688
and putting your hand over my mouth
and raping me!
242
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,054
I was 15.
243
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,320
I was a virgin.
244
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,355
What do you want, Gabby?
245
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,692
Get on your knees.
246
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,428
Uh-uh.
247
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:05,697
Get down!
248
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:13,542
Gabby, don't do this.
249
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:17,341
"Don't do it"? I remember saying that.
250
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,878
And it doesn't work.
251
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,082
- Think of something else.
- (GROANS)
252
00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:27,655
(EX CLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)
253
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,024
I'm...
254
00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:33,256
I'm sorry.
255
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:35,799
For what?
256
00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:38,696
For what?
257
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,238
Raping you.
258
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,321
Get up.
259
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,629
Start walking.
260
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,970
Never come near me again.
Do you understand?
261
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,173
Go back to being dead.
262
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:24,973
(ENGINE STARTS)
263
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:32,552
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
264
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,350
(RETCHING)
265
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,289
So, "no" because you don't wanna go,
266
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,426
or "no" because you don't know
what a progressive dinner is?
267
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,526
Both.
268
00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:47,135
I've been on the road for a week
and I don't feel like a party,
269
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,935
especially if that woman's
gonna be there.
270
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:52,535
Oh! "That woman"? You mean Bree?
How long is this gonna go on?
271
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,203
As long as my mother's dead.
272
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:55,769
Well, that could be forever.
273
00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:58,511
You go.
274
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,950
I should probably get to the office
and catch up on some work.
275
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:03,716
GABRIELLE: Forget Bree.
You don't even have to talk to her.
276
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,690
This is about doing something nice
for Susan.
277
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,158
Gabby?
278
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,193
Why the hell do you have a gun?
279
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:18,092
Alejandro found me.
280
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,604
What? I thought he was dead.
281
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,631
No, he's alive.
282
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,673
What did that bastard want?
283
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,906
Did he lay a hand on you?
Why didn't you call me?
284
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,240
He's gone. I took care of it.
285
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,177
Gabby.
286
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,814
- Did you...
- I came close.
287
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,159
My finger was on the trigger,
but I didn't do it.
288
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,858
I guess it was enough
just to know that I could.
289
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,065
Wouldn't have been enough for me.
290
00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:02,780
After what he did to you?
I would have shot him like a dog.
291
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,323
(LAUGHING)
292
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:19,961
Uh, excuse me, aren't you
supposed to be behind the bar?
293
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,793
Is this a photo of you and Doug Perry
from the Yankees?
294
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:24,802
Yeah. He's my ex-husband.
295
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,433
That is so cool! What's he like?
296
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:31,599
Okay, I usually don't talk to the help,
297
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,339
but in your case I'll make an exception.
298
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:35,403
Shut up.
299
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,408
Oh, good, the gays are here.
Let the fawning begin.
300
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,580
Heavens to Cher, you look amazing!
301
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:44,847
(CHUCKLING)
302
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:48,250
It's good to see you holding up so well.
303
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:49,955
What are you talking about?
304
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:53,826
Your ex-husband getting re-married.
It's all over ESPN.
305
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:59,262
Which you obviously do not watch.
306
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,762
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
We thought you knew.
307
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,333
This is what comes
from watching sports.
308
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:09,472
That's why he was calling,
he's getting married.
309
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,413
Will you excuse me?
310
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,855
Ah. Red or white?
311
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,857
Brown.
312
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:33,161
You look really pretty.
313
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,536
Thanks, sweetie. Is your dad dressed?
314
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:36,733
He's not back yet.
315
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:37,799
From where?
316
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:41,142
I don't know.
He left while you were in the shower.
317
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:53,647
Hey, Penny, there was a suitcase there.
Have you seen it?
318
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:54,852
Nope.
319
00:19:57,963 --> 00:19:59,624
Can I try your lip gloss?
320
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:01,892
Sure.
321
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,996
- Hey, guys. How's the party?
- Hi.
322
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,737
Okay. You might wanna stay out
of the living room, though.
323
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,004
It's pretty brutal.
324
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,309
Yeah, Judy's a little over the rainbow.
325
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,939
(BOTH LAUGHING)
326
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,117
(PIANO PLAYING)
327
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,017
(RENEE SINGING OFF-KE Y)
328
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,333
(MUSIC STOPS)
329
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,774
Once more from the top.
330
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,435
No. No. No. No. No.
331
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:49,503
My Funny Valentine,
not so funny the fourth time around.
332
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:52,278
Here we go. Look.
333
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:56,419
Doug is a dog.
He's not even worth thinking about.
334
00:20:56,488 --> 00:20:58,251
Trust me, you will meet someone else.
335
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:01,358
Yeah? When? Where?
336
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:05,261
All the good ones
are either married or gay.
337
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,524
Aren't you sweet.
338
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:07,691
I was talking about Bob.
339
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:08,893
Okay.
340
00:21:13,905 --> 00:21:15,065
Oh!
341
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:19,032
There you are.
Everyone's dying to meet you.
342
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:20,271
You mind if I have a drink first?
343
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:22,404
I just finished talking to Doreen
and her lawyer.
344
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:24,815
- How did it go?
- (SIGHS) Horribly.
345
00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:26,908
We were this close to settling,
346
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,476
and suddenly she asks
for the lake house.
347
00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:32,287
- Oh?
- Even her lawyer says it's too much.
348
00:21:33,091 --> 00:21:36,117
But it's like somehow she knows
I'm desperate to end this,
349
00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:37,593
so she can ask for anything.
350
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,595
That's awful. Mini-cheeseburger?
351
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:01,445
- Hi.
- Hey!
352
00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:02,645
Where's Tom?
353
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:06,520
Um, I don't think he can make it.
He's got some work he has to do.
354
00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:07,582
GABRIELLE: Same with Carlos.
355
00:22:07,626 --> 00:22:09,753
That's the bad thing
about being married to rich guys.
356
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:13,123
The good thing? We're rich. (LAUGHS)
357
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,095
Sorry.
358
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,466
- SUSAN: Hey.
- Yeah.
359
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:19,629
You might wanna talk to Penny.
360
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,333
She was over watching MJ today,
and she seemed a little upset.
361
00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:23,832
About what?
362
00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:25,638
Well, I don't know if you and Tom
had a fight,
363
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:29,613
but she has it in her head
that you guys are splitting up.
364
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:31,641
Oh, my God.
365
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:34,117
No, no. No "Oh, my God."
I told her not to worry.
366
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:36,143
I told her nothing
was ever gonna happen to you two.
367
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,425
Oh, my God.
368
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:45,322
Uh...
369
00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:47,393
Tom left me.
370
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:48,860
(GASPS)
371
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:59,641
It's not like I didn't see it coming.
I just didn't see it coming tonight.
372
00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:02,203
Sweetie, I am so sorry.
373
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,181
How are you even keeping it together?
374
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:10,052
Right now, I'm just thinking about
making salad for 15.
375
00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:12,182
I know how hard this is.
376
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,658
You know, but trust me,
however it turns out,
377
00:23:14,693 --> 00:23:18,493
you're gonna get through this,
because you've got your friends.
378
00:23:21,299 --> 00:23:24,063
And Tom. Look, Lynette.
379
00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:26,535
It's Tom.
380
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:31,499
Well, obviously, you don't need
three people to make a salad,
381
00:23:31,543 --> 00:23:35,240
so I'll head back to Renee's.
And I'll see you in a bit.
382
00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:43,044
You wanna set out the forks?
383
00:23:44,322 --> 00:23:47,155
Forks? Where the hell have you been?
384
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:49,057
The recipe called for mandarin oranges.
385
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:50,618
You told me to get mandarin oranges.
386
00:23:50,662 --> 00:23:53,631
Yesterday. And I went
and got them myself.
387
00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:56,360
Well, I didn't know that.
So I guess we have extra now.
388
00:24:01,406 --> 00:24:02,668
But...
389
00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,571
I didn't see your suitcase.
390
00:24:07,579 --> 00:24:08,910
It's in the closet.
391
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:18,184
People will be coming soon.
I'll get the forks.
392
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,622
(LAUGHING)
393
00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:23,354
I don't know if I've told you this,
394
00:24:23,428 --> 00:24:25,487
but it's nice having you back
on the Lane, kid.
395
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:29,765
Oh, thanks, Karen.
You know, in the year I was gone...
396
00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:33,202
Okay, okay, you're holding up
the line. Talk and serve, huh?
397
00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:35,831
Where's Renee?
398
00:24:35,907 --> 00:24:37,841
I don't think she's coming.
399
00:24:37,909 --> 00:24:40,309
She just found out
that her ex is getting married.
400
00:24:40,445 --> 00:24:41,469
Doug?
401
00:24:42,113 --> 00:24:43,705
Yeah, she's pretty devastated.
402
00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:46,046
- I don't think you'll be seeing her tonight.
- Oh!
403
00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:48,611
Hello, everybody.
404
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:52,787
This is my date, Edgar.
405
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:54,050
The bartender?
406
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:56,787
Not just a bartender,
bartender slash model.
407
00:24:56,928 --> 00:24:58,122
Print ads, mostly.
408
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,358
Maybe you saw me
in last Sunday's Fairview Herald?
409
00:25:00,432 --> 00:25:01,558
I was "Guy Checking Watch."
410
00:25:02,601 --> 00:25:03,795
Show them!
411
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,063
All right.
412
00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:10,299
Isn't he good?
413
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,539
It's like he really needs to know
what time it is. (LAUGHS)
414
00:25:15,881 --> 00:25:17,405
(BOTH GRUNTING)
415
00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:23,179
Drunk off her ass
and not afraid to show it.
416
00:25:23,221 --> 00:25:25,746
My kind of gal.
417
00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:31,554
Chuck?
418
00:25:33,498 --> 00:25:36,058
About those new demands
your wife made,
419
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:37,593
there's something you should...
420
00:25:38,803 --> 00:25:41,237
Hey. Hey. You know what, Doreen?
I don't care.
421
00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:43,274
Take the money and the lake house.
422
00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:45,935
It's worth all that and more
to finally be free of you. Goodbye.
423
00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:48,036
(SIGHS)
424
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:49,708
You didn't have to do that.
425
00:25:49,748 --> 00:25:52,410
Oh, I did. I couldn't let that drag on
one more day.
426
00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:55,379
But to give up your vacation home
just so we could have sex?
427
00:25:55,420 --> 00:25:58,878
That's not why I did it. That place
is full of memories of her.
428
00:25:58,924 --> 00:26:00,585
Now, why would I wanna hold on
to those
429
00:26:00,659 --> 00:26:02,627
when I could be making new memories
with you?
430
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,389
Oh, Chuck.
431
00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:07,422
Also, I wanna have sex with you.
432
00:26:07,699 --> 00:26:12,966
Hmm! And we will,
as soon as this dinner party is over.
433
00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:18,232
Um...
434
00:26:18,276 --> 00:26:20,608
How many more courses?
435
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,807
I guess we could skip the salad.
436
00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:27,111
(BREE GIGGLING)
437
00:26:29,554 --> 00:26:31,112
- Good evening.
- MAN: Evening.
438
00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:42,929
(CHUCKLES) It's a really funny story
how we met. You tell it.
439
00:26:42,968 --> 00:26:44,993
No, you tell it so much better.
440
00:26:45,036 --> 00:26:46,435
(BOTH LAUGH)
441
00:26:46,471 --> 00:26:50,066
You don't have to tell it. We were
there when you met an hour ago.
442
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,008
Excuse me.
443
00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:54,768
Can I talk to you for a minute?
444
00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,411
What are you doing with this guy?
445
00:26:57,882 --> 00:26:59,144
"This guy"?
446
00:26:59,217 --> 00:27:01,481
This guy is the best thing
that ever happened to me.
447
00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:03,783
You better be careful, or you might
not be invited to the wedding.
448
00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:09,626
That's right. I could easily see
myself being the next Mrs. Renee...
449
00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:14,159
Uh...
450
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,627
I'll be right back.
451
00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:27,837
(DOOR CLOSES)
452
00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:40,716
You want one?
453
00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:45,190
Want one? No. Need one.
454
00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:47,722
(LYNETTE GROANS)
455
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:56,064
So you wanna tell me why it took you
two hours to find mandarin oranges?
456
00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:00,407
What were you doing?
457
00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:03,574
Leaving.
458
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:06,741
What made you come back?
459
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,313
I couldn't do it that way.
460
00:28:10,021 --> 00:28:11,318
I kept thinking about you at the party,
461
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:14,086
people asking you where I was
and you having to make stuff up.
462
00:28:15,794 --> 00:28:17,762
It wasn't right.
463
00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:31,198
My biggest fear about marriage
was that someday you'd leave me.
464
00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:38,678
(SIGHS) I grew up in a home
where people left
465
00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:40,942
and I had to clean up after,
466
00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:43,544
and I just couldn't
go through that again.
467
00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:47,856
And so when I didn't see your suitcase,
468
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:53,057
I thought, "Well, here it is.
My worst fear. He's gone."
469
00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:58,363
And then I thought, "Oh, damn!
470
00:29:00,371 --> 00:29:04,068
"Paige's car seat is in Tom's car,
and I'll have to get a new one."
471
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:09,569
You had just left me,
and I was thinking about a car seat.
472
00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:13,543
It was so weird.
I kept waiting to feel devastated.
473
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:15,485
But instead I felt...
474
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,885
I didn't know.
475
00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:23,284
(SIGHS) I couldn't put a name to it.
476
00:29:23,962 --> 00:29:27,898
Then when I walked in,
477
00:29:27,932 --> 00:29:30,492
and you were back.
478
00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:38,770
I suddenly realized what I had been
feeling the whole time you were gone.
479
00:29:48,319 --> 00:29:49,946
It was relief.
480
00:29:58,863 --> 00:30:02,492
I was relieved.
481
00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:08,005
Hey, if you guys don't put out
more croutons,
482
00:30:08,039 --> 00:30:09,199
you're gonna have a riot on your hands.
483
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:11,070
We'll be right there.
484
00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:16,480
What are we gonna say to people?
485
00:30:17,215 --> 00:30:18,477
Nothing.
486
00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,046
It's Susan's night.
487
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,156
Yeah. And we shouldn't tell anyone
until we tell the kids.
488
00:30:28,893 --> 00:30:31,691
Oh, God, the kids.
489
00:30:40,805 --> 00:30:42,272
(BREE GIGGLING)
490
00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:44,938
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
491
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:47,107
(PANTING)
492
00:30:48,046 --> 00:30:49,377
Wow.
493
00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:52,542
I'm sure a year of celibacy
was tough on you,
494
00:30:53,418 --> 00:30:58,287
but as the person who benefited
from it, all I can say is...
495
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:01,454
- Oh, my God.
- Thank you.
496
00:31:01,559 --> 00:31:02,719
No, no, no, the chickens.
497
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,024
I should've taken them
out of the oven 20 minutes ago.
498
00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:06,087
(GASPS) I hope they're not...
499
00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:07,392
(BEEPING)
500
00:31:07,432 --> 00:31:09,229
Oh, no, the smoke alarm!
501
00:31:11,402 --> 00:31:12,869
We're moving again?
502
00:31:12,904 --> 00:31:14,269
Now we go to Bree's
for the main course.
503
00:31:14,339 --> 00:31:16,705
I don't get it. Is this supposed to be fun?
504
00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:18,709
Not fun, Roy, just free.
505
00:31:18,743 --> 00:31:20,802
So, shall we go?
506
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:23,404
Yeah, I guess it's that time.
507
00:31:23,448 --> 00:31:25,211
Again with the watch bit?
508
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:26,444
I don't get it. You used to love that.
509
00:31:26,517 --> 00:31:28,075
People change.
510
00:31:29,954 --> 00:31:31,444
Stop it.
511
00:31:31,789 --> 00:31:32,813
(ALARM BEEPING)
512
00:31:32,857 --> 00:31:34,051
Oh! Oh!
513
00:31:34,092 --> 00:31:35,354
(CHUCK COUGHING)
514
00:31:35,393 --> 00:31:36,951
BREE: Open a window!
515
00:31:39,697 --> 00:31:42,666
- Oh, no! They're ruined!
- (SIZZLING)
516
00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:44,998
Can't we just scrape off the burnt parts?
517
00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:46,999
There's nothing but burnt parts.
518
00:31:47,105 --> 00:31:49,005
- Help me clear the smoke.
- Sure.
519
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:51,367
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- MIKE: Hello?
520
00:31:51,976 --> 00:31:53,273
- (WHISPERS) They're here.
- MIKE: Anybody home?
521
00:31:53,311 --> 00:31:54,835
Look at us. Quick! Button your shirt.
522
00:31:54,946 --> 00:31:56,413
I don't have any buttons.
523
00:31:56,447 --> 00:31:58,244
- What?
- You're the one who ripped them off.
524
00:31:58,283 --> 00:31:59,580
Oh, no!
525
00:32:00,285 --> 00:32:02,446
What the hell would've happened?
526
00:32:05,189 --> 00:32:06,417
(BREE CLEARS THROAT)
527
00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:09,787
BREE: Hello, everyone!
528
00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:12,655
I'm embarrassed to admit it, but...
529
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,526
My oven malfunctioned.
530
00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:19,133
It's been very erratic lately
and I thought I'd fixed it,
531
00:32:19,170 --> 00:32:23,630
but Chuck and I went to the cellar
to choose a wine,
532
00:32:23,675 --> 00:32:28,135
and when we were done,
my entrée was smoking.
533
00:32:28,313 --> 00:32:30,178
I'll bet it was.
534
00:32:30,982 --> 00:32:33,712
Hey, Chuck,
what happened to your shirt?
535
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:37,050
Well, as Bree's already pointed out,
it was very smoky in the kitchen.
536
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:39,385
And I couldn't find a towel
to wave it away,
537
00:32:39,457 --> 00:32:42,620
so I, um, used my shirt.
538
00:32:42,827 --> 00:32:47,560
(STAMMERING)
And I waved it so vigorously
539
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:51,466
that all the buttons came off.
540
00:32:53,771 --> 00:32:55,204
Should I offer to loan him a shirt?
541
00:32:55,273 --> 00:32:56,535
Don't you dare.
542
00:32:56,975 --> 00:33:01,139
Anyway, we are going to
543
00:33:01,179 --> 00:33:04,478
- go pick up some roast chickens.
- Chickens.
544
00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:08,042
So, enjoy the wine and...
(WHISPERS) Get my shoes.
545
00:33:10,054 --> 00:33:13,387
And we will be back
as soon as possible.
546
00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:14,857
- Let's go.
- (INDISTINCT)
547
00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:27,561
What?
548
00:33:27,905 --> 00:33:29,668
You really think you need another one?
549
00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:32,073
Are you counting my drinks now?
550
00:33:32,143 --> 00:33:33,735
I don't think I can count that high.
551
00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:37,581
You knew I drank when we met.
You were the bartender!
552
00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:44,087
Oh, baby, what's happened to us?
I mean, we never used to fight.
553
00:33:44,155 --> 00:33:48,854
Listen, I think this has been over
for a long time.
554
00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:50,786
You're dumping me?
555
00:33:51,429 --> 00:33:54,865
It's not you. It's me.
556
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:57,558
But it's mostly you.
557
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:06,977
Well, Edgar and I are over.
558
00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:09,706
I'm sorry.
559
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:11,814
But you'll always have the salad course.
560
00:34:12,617 --> 00:34:13,709
(GROANS)
561
00:34:13,751 --> 00:34:16,879
Who am I kidding?
This was all about Doug.
562
00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:19,788
When he cheated on me with Tina,
563
00:34:19,857 --> 00:34:21,552
I thought he was just
sick of being married
564
00:34:21,592 --> 00:34:23,958
and just wanted to screw around.
565
00:34:24,362 --> 00:34:28,890
But now, he's marrying her,
which means what he was sick of
566
00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:30,059
is me.
567
00:34:30,635 --> 00:34:31,727
(SOBBING)
568
00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:34,899
Okay. Um...
569
00:34:35,373 --> 00:34:39,639
Either you are the most sympathetic
friend of all time,
570
00:34:39,710 --> 00:34:44,170
or something else is going on here.
571
00:34:44,949 --> 00:34:46,075
Tell me.
572
00:34:46,117 --> 00:34:47,414
(SIGHS)
573
00:34:49,687 --> 00:34:50,813
Uh...
574
00:34:50,855 --> 00:34:52,789
(SNIFFLES) Tom and I are separating.
575
00:34:53,624 --> 00:34:54,750
No.
576
00:34:55,393 --> 00:34:59,420
No. No. No. Not you guys!
577
00:35:00,264 --> 00:35:04,633
It's all right. I think it's for the best.
578
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:06,429
(SIGHS)
579
00:35:14,812 --> 00:35:16,245
(INDISTINCT)
580
00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:25,383
More chicken?
581
00:35:25,456 --> 00:35:28,050
No. I should run and get dessert ready.
582
00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:30,686
Oh! Wait, wait, wait.
I have something I want to say.
583
00:35:31,996 --> 00:35:33,623
Mike and I just want to thank you guys
584
00:35:33,998 --> 00:35:36,626
for planning this
wonderful dinner for us.
585
00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:39,167
Renee, we really enjoyed the drinks.
586
00:35:39,570 --> 00:35:42,038
And you seemed to enjoy the bartender.
587
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,368
(ALL LAUGHING)
588
00:35:44,342 --> 00:35:47,505
And, Lynette,
you and Tom make a great salad,
589
00:35:47,545 --> 00:35:48,876
and an even better team.
590
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,206
And, Bree,
591
00:35:51,549 --> 00:35:55,679
for the first time ever,
you burned the main course.
592
00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:56,846
(ALL EX CLAIM)
593
00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:59,857
Which was the perfect tribute to me.
594
00:35:59,891 --> 00:36:01,256
(SUSAN LAUGHING)
595
00:36:02,193 --> 00:36:05,754
You know, living away from you guys
596
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:07,798
has been hard for me,
597
00:36:07,865 --> 00:36:12,928
because when friends live apart,
they sometimes grow apart, too.
598
00:36:14,238 --> 00:36:18,436
But no matter how crazy
or busy our lives are,
599
00:36:18,509 --> 00:36:22,536
something always seems to happen
to bring us back together.
600
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:27,574
And that started tonight,
with this dinner.
601
00:36:28,419 --> 00:36:30,819
May we have many, many more.
602
00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:37,624
- Oh, damn. Almost made it. Cheers.
- (ALL CHUCKLING)
603
00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:39,128
Cheers.
604
00:36:39,263 --> 00:36:42,755
Okay, now I am leaving before I lose it.
605
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:45,233
I will call you guys when it's ready.
606
00:36:49,307 --> 00:36:51,434
Okay.
607
00:36:55,813 --> 00:36:56,837
Hola, Gabrielle.
608
00:36:56,914 --> 00:36:58,245
(SCREAMS) Oh, God!
609
00:37:00,618 --> 00:37:01,744
What are you doing here?
610
00:37:01,819 --> 00:37:04,447
I know you told me not to come back,
611
00:37:04,589 --> 00:37:08,184
but I'm betting you won't be so tough
without your gun.
612
00:37:20,171 --> 00:37:21,365
I told you to leave.
613
00:37:21,472 --> 00:37:25,340
And I did. I drove 50 miles out of town.
614
00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:28,310
But I just couldn't stop thinking
about all those things you said.
615
00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:30,439
You made me sound like a monster.
616
00:37:30,848 --> 00:37:32,213
I only said what was true.
617
00:37:32,283 --> 00:37:33,307
You sure?
618
00:37:33,651 --> 00:37:36,484
Because when you said that thing
about being a virgin,
619
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,318
(CHUCKLES) I almost had to laugh.
620
00:37:40,157 --> 00:37:42,284
- What?
- Come on, Gabby.
621
00:37:43,327 --> 00:37:48,060
Those short skirts you wore,
those halter tops.
622
00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:50,464
You were a little slut.
623
00:37:50,701 --> 00:37:52,066
You sick bastard.
624
00:37:52,136 --> 00:37:54,969
No. No. No. No. No. No.
625
00:37:55,006 --> 00:37:56,337
You did all the talking before.
626
00:37:58,309 --> 00:38:00,607
Now it's my turn. Sit down.
627
00:38:00,645 --> 00:38:01,805
(SCREAMS)
628
00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:15,358
Stay away from me.
629
00:38:15,393 --> 00:38:18,590
I remember those nights
in your room, baby.
630
00:38:18,663 --> 00:38:20,096
No. Stop.
631
00:38:20,665 --> 00:38:23,498
And as far as me putting my hand
over your mouth,
632
00:38:23,534 --> 00:38:28,062
that was so your mother wouldn't hear
how much you were enjoying it.
633
00:38:29,407 --> 00:38:30,738
(GABRIELLE SCREAMS)
634
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,238
(SOBBING)
635
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:40,007
He came in.
He came in and he was standing there,
636
00:38:40,051 --> 00:38:42,747
and I was so scared,
and I couldn't do anything!
637
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:43,946
It's okay.
638
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:45,584
I couldn't do anything!
639
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,318
CARLOS: Okay, okay. Hey! Hey! Hey!
640
00:38:48,359 --> 00:38:50,156
(GABRIELLE GROANING)
641
00:38:53,898 --> 00:38:56,093
Let's call the police before he wakes up.
642
00:38:59,270 --> 00:39:00,635
CARLOS: Oh, God.
643
00:39:00,705 --> 00:39:02,866
(SNIFFLES) What?
644
00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:04,807
There's no pulse.
645
00:39:07,445 --> 00:39:08,776
He's dead. I killed him.
646
00:39:09,246 --> 00:39:12,215
But it was self-defense.
I mean, he had my gun.
647
00:39:13,551 --> 00:39:15,041
Your gun? I put that in the safe.
648
00:39:16,253 --> 00:39:17,311
No.
649
00:39:17,922 --> 00:39:19,890
No, he had it.
650
00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:25,124
He had it right here. It was here.
651
00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:31,459
I just killed an unarmed man.
652
00:39:32,136 --> 00:39:33,262
(DOOR OPENS)
653
00:39:33,304 --> 00:39:36,273
Gabby, I thought you were gonna call.
654
00:39:36,307 --> 00:39:37,934
Yeah, it's been 15...
655
00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:41,736
What happened?
656
00:39:44,749 --> 00:39:46,114
Who is that?
657
00:39:46,751 --> 00:39:48,082
My stepfather.
658
00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:49,618
The one who...
659
00:39:52,423 --> 00:39:54,015
Is he dead?
660
00:39:54,091 --> 00:39:56,958
Yeah. I killed him.
661
00:39:56,994 --> 00:39:58,086
(GASPS)
662
00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:03,831
Okay, I know. This is bad.
This is really bad.
663
00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:06,202
The man was in your house,
664
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:09,364
and you had every reason to be scared
after what he did to you.
665
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,805
No.
666
00:40:11,642 --> 00:40:14,509
I never reported him. No one knows.
667
00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:18,981
They're only gonna know
that he was here and he was unarmed,
668
00:40:19,016 --> 00:40:20,142
and Carlos killed him.
669
00:40:20,951 --> 00:40:23,511
And now he's gonna go to jail
because he was trying to protect me.
670
00:40:23,654 --> 00:40:25,315
Calm down. We just need time to think.
671
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:28,691
We don't have time.
672
00:40:30,294 --> 00:40:32,285
Everybody's coming.
673
00:40:32,963 --> 00:40:34,624
Including your boyfriend, the detective.
674
00:40:36,801 --> 00:40:38,496
I killed the son of a bitch
who hurt my wife.
675
00:40:38,536 --> 00:40:40,231
If I have to go to prison, I will.
676
00:40:44,875 --> 00:40:46,399
That's not gonna happen.
677
00:41:07,064 --> 00:41:08,463
(INDISTINCT)
678
00:41:10,234 --> 00:41:13,328
Sorry. If these glasses were bigger,
I wouldn't have to keep asking.
679
00:41:13,404 --> 00:41:16,100
Maybe you're not supposed to drink
a lot of blue.
680
00:41:16,674 --> 00:41:18,107
Excuse me.
681
00:41:19,910 --> 00:41:22,674
Hey, this was fun. I like your friends.
682
00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:24,380
I'm glad.
683
00:41:36,293 --> 00:41:38,591
Strawberry sauce gets everywhere.
684
00:41:45,936 --> 00:41:49,303
MARY ALICE: There are many things
that bind friends together.
685
00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:55,836
Sharing a laugh
over an embarrassing incident,
686
00:41:58,115 --> 00:42:02,279
comforting each other in times of need,
687
00:42:04,088 --> 00:42:08,115
finding it in our hearts to forgive.
688
00:42:11,962 --> 00:42:16,092
But the thing that binds friends
together the most,
689
00:42:18,102 --> 00:42:23,335
is a secret that changes everything.