1 00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,334 Desperate Housewives S01E12 Every Day A Little Death (VO+STFR&EN) 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,803 - These are nice people. - My money says one of 'em isn't. 3 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:10,274 - How creepy is Mrs. Huber's sister? - Promises were made. 4 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:13,346 I'm going to find out exactly what happened to her. 5 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,280 - Marriages came undone. - We are starting a family. 6 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,180 We're not negotiating my uterus. 7 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:21,379 - Would you go out to dinner with me? - Like a date? 8 00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,422 - A date? - And the truth... 9 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,924 - You burned her house down. ...was denied. 10 00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:29,325 I absolutely did not do that thing you accused me of. 11 00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:36,492 Martha Huber waited her whole life for something to happen to her, 12 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:39,197 something exciting. 13 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:44,470 As a child she hoped to be kidnapped by a band of pirates. 14 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:50,482 As a tenager she dreamt of being discovered by a Hollywood talent scout. 15 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,711 As a young woman she fantasized 16 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:57,621 a handsome millionaire would swep her off her fet. 17 00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:01,717 But the years had flown by and still nothing exciting 18 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,059 had ever happened to Martha Huber. 19 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,328 Until the night she was murdered. 20 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,895 Hello, Mrs. Huber. Let me give you a hand. 21 00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:16,464 - That's really not necessary. - I insist. 22 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:21,947 In those last moments it occurred to her, in addition to being boring, 23 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:25,576 life could also be very cruel. 24 00:01:26,953 --> 00:01:31,390 Luckily for Mrs. Huber, death was far more merciful. 25 00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,454 What do you think? 26 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:41,123 That's our missing woman all right. 27 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:45,933 Oh, jeez. Didn't take the media long to get wind of this. 28 00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:49,166 Make sure no one contaminates my crime scene. 29 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:02,854 Hey, little lady. A lot of people are looking for you. You know that? 30 00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:07,052 Your face is gonna be on the front page of every paper in this state. 31 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,220 How's that for exciting? 32 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:13,629 Officer Jackson couldn't be sure, but for a brief moment, 33 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:18,965 he thought he saw the corpse of Martha Huber smile. 34 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:11,190 Death had come once again to Wisteria Lane. 35 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:14,420 I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. 36 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,995 We found your sister's body. 37 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:25,732 Word of the tragedy would soon spread throughout the neighborhood. 38 00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:30,538 But for now people went about their lives as they always did, 39 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,703 blissfully unaware. 40 00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:38,378 - Hello? Anybody home? - In the kitchen. 41 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:40,543 Good news. I finished my book. 42 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,817 So I thought to celebrate you could take me out to lunch. 43 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,016 - Susan. - Can we do a rain check? 44 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,560 We're looking at the plans for her house. 45 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:51,188 My insurance company's cutting my check. 46 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,390 There's only one plumber I want. 47 00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:58,267 Don't expect to see this guy for a few months. I'm gonna be riding him hard. 48 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:03,241 Well, if anybody can go the distance, he can. I should know. 49 00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:06,002 See ya. 50 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,411 Mike. 51 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,347 Mike, we're on the clock. 52 00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,391 Hey, Felicia. What's up? 53 00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:36,064 Edie? 54 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,905 They found Martha. 55 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:43,312 Here, blow. Good. All right, come on. 56 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,874 This is gonna be fun. Follow me. 57 00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:59,159 Excuse me? You can't do that. 58 00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:02,393 I'm here for the 10.00am yoga meditation class. 59 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:05,596 Unfortunately, the daycare center's full. 60 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:09,164 Yeah, I noticed that, but every time I come here it's full. 61 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:12,336 It's a popular class, and the other moms come early. 62 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:16,381 Look, all I can tell you is plan ahead next time. 63 00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:22,149 Lauren, I'm a mother of four. Today I had to get up at five, 64 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:25,588 make lunches, make breakfast, drop the twins at school 65 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,855 and get across town lugging a baby and a sick child. 66 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:32,420 Telling me to plan ahead is like telling me to sprout wings. 67 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:36,594 And things like being told to plan ahead make me so crazy 68 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,899 that yoga is the only thing to relax me. 69 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:44,910 Except I show up here and I can't get in, and you tell me to plan ahead. 70 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:48,503 It's a vicious cycle. See how that works? 71 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:53,018 If I broke the rules for you, I'd have to break 'em for the other moms. 72 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,987 The moms who followed the rules would get pissed. 73 00:05:56,055 --> 00:06:00,549 I'd have to get pissy right back and I don't have time to read my magazine. 74 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:03,060 See how that works? 75 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,896 I hope some day you have lots of children. 76 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:15,672 Hello? Hey, Susan. I can't talk. I'm in the middle of something here... 77 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,610 What? 78 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:32,451 - I had a wonderful time today. - Thank you. I did too. 79 00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:41,433 - I'm sorry I can't invite you in. - I get it. 80 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,368 Rex still lives in the house. It would be awkward. 81 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,895 And I would rather cut off my hand than hurt his feelings. 82 00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:55,375 It'll be a lot easier once he gets well enough to move out. 83 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,245 So do you want to have lunch tomorrow? 84 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,952 I'd love to. 85 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,824 OK. Wow. 86 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:09,760 - Pick me up at one. - I'll see you then. 87 00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,127 Packages! 88 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,291 Thank you. 89 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,866 Hello? 90 00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:25,068 Hi, Lynette. 91 00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:29,172 What? 92 00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:37,784 Hi, honey. Welcome home. 93 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,655 Thanks, guys. 94 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,824 Take it easy. 95 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,269 Come on, honey. Let's celebrate. 96 00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:58,037 Sorry it's the cheap stuff. I had to economize. 97 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,045 Now you're back we can restock the wine cellar. 98 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:05,147 - Let's toast. - It's very good to be back. 99 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,277 What's that? 100 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:13,986 It transmits to this, my electronic monitoring device. 101 00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,756 - Didn't the lawyer tell you? - Tell me what? 102 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,694 I'm on house arrest. It's a condition of my bail. 103 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:23,394 - No, he neglected to tell me that. - Yeah. 104 00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:27,428 If I move more than 100 feet from that telephone, an alarm sounds. 105 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:31,500 If I keep going, it transmits a signal to the F.B.I. And I'm back in jail. 106 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:35,377 - But how are you gonna work? - I can't. I can't do anything. 107 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:41,179 No, no, that's unreasonable. What do they expect us to do for money? 108 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:45,553 The lawyer's working on unfreezing the accounts, and in the meantime, 109 00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,717 haven't you been modeling? 110 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,159 Carlos, this is not like New York 111 00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:54,289 where I made thousands of dollars a day modeling haute couture. 112 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:58,531 I'm doing boat shows. I spend eight hours a day doing this. 113 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:02,540 Well, I'd buy two boats from you. 114 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,701 Come on. 115 00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,870 Where's my toast? 116 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,881 Welcome home. 117 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,623 Hello? Hi, Bree. 118 00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,821 What? 119 00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:31,026 If you find anything of your sister's that might shed light on her death, 120 00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:34,732 letters or a date book, 121 00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:38,368 please... call me immediately. 122 00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:42,608 I believe she did keep a diary or something. I'll look around for it. 123 00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:49,018 Look at them all. Vultures. 124 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:53,586 Pretending to care, when all they want are the sordid details. 125 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:57,595 I don't know. I think they just wanna show their support. 126 00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:02,100 Please. Human beings feed on misery. 127 00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:06,331 Well, we might as well give the people what they want. 128 00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:13,534 Hello. I want to thank you all for coming out here 129 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:17,140 and expressing your genuine sorrow and disbelief. 130 00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:21,744 My sister Martha would've been touched. I know many of you have questions. 131 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:26,190 The police are still putting together the details of what happened. 132 00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:30,591 What they do know is... Martha died a violent death. 133 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:36,198 Yes, I know, it's hard to hear. 134 00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:39,431 Apparently there was a struggle. 135 00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:43,599 They found scratching and bruising on her body, several broken bones 136 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,167 and traces of dirt in her lungs, 137 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:51,616 which leads us to believe she was still alive at the time of her burial 138 00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,311 and probably in great pain. 139 00:10:55,921 --> 00:11:01,689 But the good news is there are no signs that she had been molested. 140 00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:07,431 Now, I think it's time that you return to your homes, 141 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,593 to your loved ones. 142 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:14,802 Oh, in lieu of a memorial service, 143 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,809 I'll be holding an estate sale day after tomorrow. 144 00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:20,778 Please, no personal checks. 145 00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:33,722 By the next morning, everyone on Wisteria Lane 146 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:39,629 was aware of Martha Huber's demise, with no exceptions. 147 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,099 OK, boys. You see this gum? 148 00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:46,764 If you promise to be quiet while I am playing cards, it's all yours. 149 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,635 - Deal? - Yeah! 150 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,573 That's what I like to hear. 151 00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:56,308 What are the odds? First Mary Alice and then Mrs. Huber? It's shocking. 152 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,943 This is different. Someone was murdered on our street. 153 00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:02,886 I talked to her right before she disappeared. 154 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:07,324 - What did you talk about? - She yelled about my garbage cans. 155 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,520 - I'm gonna miss her. 156 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,959 - Edie. - Hi. 157 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:18,197 - Hi. Come on in. - Oh. You're all here. 158 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:21,171 Yeah. Tuesday is poker day. 159 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,939 Really? You know, I love poker. 160 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:32,843 OK, then. 161 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,011 Well, here's the deal. 162 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:39,046 Since the ice queen isn't doing anything to memorialize her sister, 163 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,888 I have decided to carry Martha's ashes 164 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:45,624 up to Torch Lake and scatter them myself. 165 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:49,327 - It's where her husband proposed. - That's so sweet. 166 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:56,600 I know. So I thought that some of the neighbors could caravan up there 167 00:12:56,675 --> 00:13:00,008 and we'd have a little ceremony. 168 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:04,811 I've printed out maps if anyone needs one, and the dress is semi-formal. 169 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:10,253 I'd love to go, but I just got back into modeling, just for fun. 170 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:13,086 I have a gig tomorrow. I can't leave 'em hanging. 171 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:18,791 - I would have arranged a sitter. - I have to take Rex to his angiogram. 172 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:21,025 Hmm. 173 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,273 Well, Mayer, what's your excuse? 174 00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:34,203 I'm just, you know, busy. Stuff. 175 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,942 Well, your friends are much better liars. 176 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:48,989 OK. Mommy's friends are gone now and you can... 177 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,398 Ow! Ow! 178 00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:58,527 Well, yeah, I know it hurts. 179 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:03,006 That's what you get when you let your brothers put bubble gum in your hair: 180 00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,973 Pain and misery. 181 00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:08,741 - Are you mad at me? - Yes! Yes, I am mad at you. 182 00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:10,748 Ow! 183 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,718 And I'm also cranky, like you get when you haven't taken a nap. 184 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,846 Mommies are the same way. We need our downtime. 185 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,687 If we don't get it... Sorry. 186 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:24,889 ...we end up saying and doing things which we don't normally do. 187 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:29,094 And that's frustrating 'cause I do want to be the best mommy I can be. 188 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:32,296 I think you're the best mommy in the world. 189 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:37,804 Well, that's sweet of you, but it's not exactly true. 190 00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:47,408 I was so afraid when I suggested a picnic that you'd make fun of me, 191 00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:52,286 but it's such a lovely, old-fashioned way to spend an afternoon. 192 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,690 Well, as it happens, I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy. 193 00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:59,527 And we got so lucky with the weather. It's just absolutely... 194 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,936 Your lunch hour's almost up. We should get you back to the pharmacy. 195 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:10,497 Wait. I've had such a good time these last few days. 196 00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:14,739 - I just wanna show my appreciation. - I hope it's not another orchid. 197 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,874 - They're so expensive. - Relax. This didn't cost me a dime. 198 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:21,044 OK. 199 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:30,257 George, you shouldn't have. 200 00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:39,064 This is a nine-millimeter Luger PO8. 201 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:42,538 When you said you were in the N.R.A., I wanted to give it to you. 202 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,202 I can't accept this. It's too valuable. 203 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:48,474 It's OK. My grandpa left it to me. 204 00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:52,277 It was surrendered to him by a soldier during World War II. 205 00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:56,753 - Since I don't know how to shoot... - It's so lovely. Look at that handle. 206 00:15:56,822 --> 00:16:00,189 - Mother-of-pearl? - Only the officers' models had that. 207 00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:04,195 - Do you really like it? - Absolutely. 208 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:09,428 George, this is just so much better than an orchid. 209 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:24,271 Hi. I'm Susan Mayer. I thought you might need a hand. 210 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,284 No, thanks. 211 00:16:27,853 --> 00:16:30,549 I'm sorry for what happened. 212 00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:35,491 It must be really hard not knowing who did it or why. 213 00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:38,654 - You must feel helpless. - A bit. 214 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:42,598 I'm hoping her journals will provide some insight. 215 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,728 - Journals? - Yes. Martha kept them for years. 216 00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:51,140 Oh. So she must have written a lot of things in them? 217 00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:55,909 Every mundane detail of her life. 218 00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:59,178 And everyone else's, for that matter. 219 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:01,844 The police want to see them, 220 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:07,153 but I'm stalling them till I have a chance to read through them myself. 221 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:11,559 Wouldn't want any embarrassing family secrets getting out. 222 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:15,861 That's smart. That's good. That's good to hear. 223 00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:24,665 - I am so screwed. - Mom, calm down. 224 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:28,941 Everything about the fire and measuring cup is gonna be in that journal. 225 00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,073 Everyone'll think I'm an arsonist. 226 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,549 It may not be as bad as it looks. 227 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,281 There's a chance she didn't write about it? 228 00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:39,586 Please. It's great dirt. I even put it in my journal. 229 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:44,485 You're gonna have to convince Mrs. Britt it was an accident. 230 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,691 If she doesn't press charges, the police'll let it go. 231 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,291 Are you high? Edie hates me. 232 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:54,703 That's why you're going to grovel at her feet and beg forgiveness. 233 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:58,368 That's right. You're gonna have to suck up to Edie Britt. 234 00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:29,767 Hey, Mike. As you can probably se by now, I took back my money 235 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:34,176 and what little information you managed to dig up on your neighbors. 236 00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:38,842 Your replacement's gonna ned it. Pack up and move on with your life. 237 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,179 Sorry for the mess. 238 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:51,319 We're here! Ten minutes early. 239 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:54,024 - Sign me up. - You just missed the rush. Sorry. 240 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:59,332 No. No, I planned ahead. We're ten minutes early. 241 00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:02,364 - Oh, my God. - What? 242 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,409 When you said you had a sick child, I had no idea. 243 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,968 How long's it been? 244 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,380 Just kinda snuck up on us. 245 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:17,582 And he's so young, too. God, it just breaks my heart. 246 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,523 Oh! 247 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:24,392 - No, see, here's the thing... - You go ahead into class. 248 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:27,431 I'll find room for your kids. 249 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,295 OK. 250 00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:32,133 Hey, Edie. 251 00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:36,065 Susan. 252 00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:41,776 I gotta say, I envy you. 253 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,941 In the name of God, why? 254 00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:49,214 Well, you get to build your dream house, for free. 255 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:53,748 In a weird way your house burning down was really a good thing. 256 00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:56,156 There is nothing good about it. 257 00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:59,958 I can't replace the memories, the photographs, the... 258 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,762 Is there something you want? 259 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:07,167 OK, here's the deal, Edie. 260 00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:09,137 I... 261 00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:12,868 - I... - I, I... What?! 262 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:16,209 Spit it out already. I'm busy. 263 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:19,375 I just wanted to see how you were holding up. 264 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:22,009 You know, with Mrs. Huber and everything. 265 00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:26,285 My best friend was murdered and stuffed into a garbage bag, 266 00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,484 and nobody cares enough to... 267 00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:33,191 ...go with me to spread her ashes. 268 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,199 I'll go with you, Edie. 269 00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:48,611 Hey. 270 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,012 Thank God. I'm starving. 271 00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:54,313 Well, dig in. I am way too tired to eat. 272 00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,445 Hey. I'm sorry. 273 00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:08,163 Hmm? 274 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:11,999 So did you get to go by the hospital, visit Mama? 275 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,937 I worked ten hours today. 276 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,009 I'll go tomorrow. She doesn't know when I'm there. 277 00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:20,772 She's gonna wake up soon. I know it. 278 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,378 And you know what'd make her happy? 279 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:26,917 If you say a grandchild, so help me. 280 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:29,988 - Gabrielle, please. - You promised. No babies. 281 00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,751 - Things change. - Yeah, I know. 282 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:36,692 The Feds towed away my Maserati, my husband is a felon, 283 00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:41,529 and I spend my days getting groped by fat tractor salesmen at trade shows. 284 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:46,503 - I am well aware things change! - A baby is solid, a constant. 285 00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:52,009 Who's gonna change diapers when you're pumping iron in a federal prison? Huh? 286 00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:55,240 I like my lifestyle and I don't want you to kill it. 287 00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:58,043 Well, look around. It's already dead. 288 00:21:58,116 --> 00:22:00,277 Now there's nothing you can control. 289 00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:06,017 Maybe. But having a baby? That I can control. You, I can control. 290 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:09,322 You can't talk to me like that. I'm the man of this house. 291 00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:12,795 Oh, really? The man of the house? 292 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,665 Don't walk away from me. 293 00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:21,603 Hey, hey. My food. Gabrielle, come back here right now! 294 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,766 Hey. Hey! 295 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:28,312 I wouldn't go too much farther. You're gonna end up back in prison. 296 00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:31,781 Dammit, Gabrielle. Get inside now. 297 00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:39,622 - Mmm. - Hey, I waited all day for that! 298 00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:42,216 It's perfect. Oh! 299 00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:50,601 Crispy and burnt on the outside, but nice and steamy on the inside. 300 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:55,734 - Ah, ah, ah! 301 00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:57,502 Mm-mm. 302 00:22:58,510 --> 00:22:59,568 Mmm. 303 00:22:59,644 --> 00:23:02,909 You're the man of the house? You can't even leave it. 304 00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:06,513 Mmm. Oh! 305 00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:08,678 Oh! 306 00:23:09,154 --> 00:23:10,621 Aaagh! 307 00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:21,330 I love this. It's like an adventure. I've never fired a gun before. 308 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:24,800 The memory of this night will stay with you for ever. 309 00:23:24,903 --> 00:23:26,700 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 310 00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:32,505 You always remember your first time. I hope I brought enough bullets. 311 00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:37,981 You know, Bree, I can't tell you what these last few days have meant to me. 312 00:23:38,049 --> 00:23:41,280 Finally getting out of the house and trying new things. 313 00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:44,550 - Well, we sure have had some fun. - It's more than that. 314 00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:47,885 I forget what it's like to be Ionely. 315 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:51,759 Oh, George, that's so sweet. 316 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:54,822 Now, come on. Let's go shoot something. 317 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:59,563 Before I fire a handgun, I go over the basics to make sure I'm ready. 318 00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:03,972 OK? So, number one. Strong stance. 319 00:24:04,042 --> 00:24:06,875 Two. High hand grasp. 320 00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:09,243 Three. Hard grip. 321 00:24:09,314 --> 00:24:11,544 Four. Front sight. 322 00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:14,141 Five. Release the safety, 323 00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:17,551 and then squeeze the trigger slowly. 324 00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:22,423 - What's a high hand grasp? - Here, take the gun. 325 00:24:22,527 --> 00:24:24,620 When you're firing a semiautomatic, 326 00:24:24,729 --> 00:24:29,393 you want the web of your hand up against the edge of the backstrap. 327 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:33,097 - What perfume are you wearing? - I'm not wearing perfume. 328 00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:35,765 Are you sure? Because you smell amazing. 329 00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:39,207 Oh! I was making macaroons before I left the house. 330 00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:44,112 Now, I want you to hold the gun like you're holding a beautiful white dove, 331 00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:48,482 firmly enough that it can't fly away, but not so firmly that you can kill it. 332 00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:51,748 - Got it? - I think so. 333 00:24:51,857 --> 00:24:57,022 Now all you have to do is take a deep breath and squeeze the trigger... 334 00:24:57,095 --> 00:24:59,154 - George! 335 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:02,257 - Ow! Ow! - My God! Oh, George! 336 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:04,427 Sorry! 337 00:25:11,276 --> 00:25:13,369 Hey. 338 00:25:17,382 --> 00:25:19,441 George. 339 00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:23,250 I'm so sorry you lost your toe. 340 00:25:23,321 --> 00:25:27,724 The doctor said it's the middle one, so your balance shouldn't be affected. 341 00:25:27,792 --> 00:25:30,920 This really won't change your life one little bit. 342 00:25:33,431 --> 00:25:36,662 Please say something. 343 00:25:36,735 --> 00:25:41,172 I've always dreamed that before I died 344 00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:45,607 I would get to kiss a truly beautiful woman. 345 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:50,443 I finally get the chance and I end up blowing off a toe. 346 00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:57,446 I'm not surprised. This type of thing always happens to me. 347 00:25:57,522 --> 00:25:59,820 I know I'll get over it. 348 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:04,889 But the thing that I don't think I'll ever get over 349 00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:09,330 is that when I did kiss you, you pulled away from me. 350 00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:17,899 - Why did you do that, Bree? - I was just caught off-guard. 351 00:26:18,009 --> 00:26:22,844 But we're dating. Why would it be so surprising I would try to kiss you? 352 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:27,749 I'm still married to Rex. We're not even legally separated yet. 353 00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:31,344 He cheated on you. You said you were gonna hate him for ever. 354 00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:37,193 You shouldn't listen to a woman who's just had her heart broken. 355 00:26:37,295 --> 00:26:40,162 We tend to lie. 356 00:26:46,571 --> 00:26:49,938 I think we're a little late. Hi. Sorry. 357 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:57,737 Lynette knew serious illness was not a matter to be treated lightly. 358 00:26:57,849 --> 00:27:01,785 - What are you doing? - Picking up my sick little baby boy. 359 00:27:01,886 --> 00:27:04,184 All right, here. There. OK. 360 00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:07,952 But making her yoga class was a matter of life and death. 361 00:27:08,026 --> 00:27:11,621 Sorry, sorry. Excuse me, excuse me. 362 00:27:11,730 --> 00:27:14,790 Hey, Lauren. Hi. We had a really rough morning. 363 00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:17,629 Don't give it another thought. 364 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,131 I bet you were a cheerleader in high school. 365 00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:26,700 My junior year. How'd you know? 366 00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:29,336 Girls like you were always cheerleaders. 367 00:27:29,414 --> 00:27:32,508 Clear skin, honor roll, popular. 368 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:35,678 In high school I was the girl that hung with the freaks 369 00:27:35,754 --> 00:27:38,279 on the loading dock and smoked. 370 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:41,791 - Everyone hated us. - Well, you know high school. 371 00:27:41,893 --> 00:27:46,353 - Thank God we leave that behind. - See, I don't think we do. 372 00:27:46,431 --> 00:27:50,390 I'm still the outsider that doesn't get invited to the cool parties, 373 00:27:50,468 --> 00:27:52,936 and you're still the perky cheerleader 374 00:27:53,038 --> 00:27:56,439 who thinks that she can pull the wool over everyone's eyes. 375 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:57,668 What? 376 00:27:57,742 --> 00:28:00,006 You came on this trip, paid for the gas, 377 00:28:00,078 --> 00:28:03,536 and you're changing this flat when you know I have Auto Club. 378 00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:06,914 You want something from me. 379 00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:10,887 I just know Mrs. Huber's death's been hard on you. I want to help. 380 00:28:10,955 --> 00:28:15,051 - That's a lie. - Why would you think I was lying? 381 00:28:15,126 --> 00:28:19,062 Because we're still in high school. The old rules apply. 382 00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:22,759 The cool kids only talk to the freaks when they need something. 383 00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:27,099 You're not getting back in my car until you tell me what it is that you want. 384 00:28:31,309 --> 00:28:33,334 OK. 385 00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:35,242 Look, I... 386 00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:41,209 I just haven't always treated you well and I wanna make amends. 387 00:28:42,587 --> 00:28:48,753 Hmm. I still think you're full of crap, but we don't have time to debate this. 388 00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:57,334 I would have talked to you in high school. 389 00:28:57,435 --> 00:29:00,529 Of all the lies you've told, 390 00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:03,607 that's the worst. 391 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:25,025 Single malt? 392 00:29:26,331 --> 00:29:29,892 - Have a seat. Take a load off. - I want it all back. 393 00:29:30,001 --> 00:29:32,094 My maps, pictures, my gun. 394 00:29:32,170 --> 00:29:34,900 - And the money. - Oh, my money, you mean? 395 00:29:35,006 --> 00:29:38,965 You'll never get somebody who cares about finding Deidre like I do. 396 00:29:39,043 --> 00:29:44,481 Why? Because you loved her so much? You abandoned her, remember? 397 00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:48,952 You saved yourself, found a nice, safe wife and you left my daughter to rot. 398 00:29:49,087 --> 00:29:53,251 So forgive me if I question your level of commitment. 399 00:29:55,660 --> 00:29:58,959 I need to do this. Why are you fighting me? 400 00:29:59,030 --> 00:30:02,796 You haven't been moving fast enough, and I'm running out of time. 401 00:30:02,934 --> 00:30:06,301 - What do you mean? - It seems I have a tumor. 402 00:30:08,273 --> 00:30:10,867 Apparently it's pressing on my brain. 403 00:30:14,245 --> 00:30:16,338 I'm gonna die, 404 00:30:16,414 --> 00:30:20,578 and I'd like to know what happened to my daughter before I do. 405 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,993 That was the best class ever. 406 00:30:30,061 --> 00:30:34,498 - I just feel terrific. Thank you. - Lynette, this is my friend Callie. 407 00:30:34,632 --> 00:30:35,656 - Hi. - Hi. 408 00:30:35,733 --> 00:30:38,702 - She wanted to meet Parker. - Oh, really? Why? 409 00:30:39,904 --> 00:30:43,499 I'm a survivor. Breast cancer. About six years ago. 410 00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:46,736 Can I hug your son? 411 00:30:48,146 --> 00:30:50,239 Sure. 412 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:56,313 I know exactly what you're going through. 413 00:30:56,421 --> 00:30:58,946 But you're gonna be brave, OK? 414 00:30:59,057 --> 00:31:03,153 And you are gonna survive this because you are a tough little soldier. 415 00:31:10,168 --> 00:31:13,069 Mommy, am I dying? 416 00:31:24,349 --> 00:31:29,616 No. You're not dying. People just think that because I shaved your head. 417 00:31:29,687 --> 00:31:34,124 - You shaved his head? - My brothers put gum in my hair. 418 00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:40,290 Sorry. Excuse me. 419 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:45,268 And just like that, Lynette realized the road to enlightenment 420 00:31:45,336 --> 00:31:49,534 and spiritual well-being was now closed to her. 421 00:31:53,978 --> 00:31:56,071 Oh, George! 422 00:31:57,515 --> 00:31:59,415 Well, what a surprise. 423 00:31:59,484 --> 00:32:05,423 See, I've been doing a lot of thinking since we talked at the hospital, and... 424 00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:09,924 - And? - Bree, I don't care what we call it. 425 00:32:09,994 --> 00:32:12,861 We can call it dating. We can call it hanging out. 426 00:32:12,964 --> 00:32:19,802 I just want to be with you. See, I really need our friendship back. 427 00:32:20,905 --> 00:32:24,432 - I don't think that would be wise. - Why not? 428 00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:30,343 Wouldn't you keep hoping that in time I would feel the same way about you? 429 00:32:32,183 --> 00:32:34,276 Maybe. 430 00:32:34,919 --> 00:32:35,977 Oh, George. 431 00:32:36,087 --> 00:32:39,079 I wish you wouldn't say "Oh, George" like that, 432 00:32:39,223 --> 00:32:42,283 like I'm pathetic for even thinking you could love me. 433 00:32:42,427 --> 00:32:48,525 I don't think you're pathetic. It's just that... I can't. 434 00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:54,563 Aw, jeez. Aw, jeez. 435 00:32:54,672 --> 00:32:58,540 Oh, George, please don't go. Why can't we talk this over? 436 00:32:58,609 --> 00:33:00,702 Don't! 437 00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:04,475 - Oh, my God! Oh, George, here... - Get away from me! 438 00:33:04,549 --> 00:33:07,780 - Lean on me. - I don't need you! 439 00:33:07,852 --> 00:33:10,480 I don't need anybody! 440 00:33:15,093 --> 00:33:18,756 You know, honey, tonight's the last night of the boat show. 441 00:33:18,863 --> 00:33:22,993 We can spend some time together before the home and garden thing. 442 00:33:24,402 --> 00:33:25,733 Carlos? 443 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:29,796 I'm going to jail, and you're not gonna be here when I get back. 444 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:33,433 - What? - It's true, and I won't blame you. 445 00:33:33,544 --> 00:33:36,775 Don't talk like that. Everything's gonna be fine. 446 00:33:36,881 --> 00:33:40,681 We're gonna sort this mess out and you're gonna be back on top. 447 00:33:40,752 --> 00:33:45,246 They could find me guilty. I could go to prison for five years. 448 00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:48,553 We'd have to sell the house. You'd have to keep working. 449 00:33:48,659 --> 00:33:52,891 If that happens, can you promise you won't ever leave? 450 00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:58,625 I promise. 451 00:33:58,736 --> 00:34:01,136 I gotta go. 452 00:34:08,946 --> 00:34:11,005 This is far enough. 453 00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:26,553 Do you need help with the container? 454 00:34:26,697 --> 00:34:29,495 No, I got it open. I'm good. 455 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,174 So what are you waiting for? 456 00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:40,540 I just need a moment, OK? 457 00:34:40,611 --> 00:34:44,069 Of course. Take your time. 458 00:34:53,991 --> 00:34:56,425 Are you OK? 459 00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:58,962 No, I'm just so grateful. 460 00:35:00,698 --> 00:35:04,691 I know. I know. Mrs. Huber was a good friend to you. 461 00:35:04,802 --> 00:35:07,771 I'm not talking about Martha. 462 00:35:09,073 --> 00:35:12,770 - I'm grateful to you. - Me? 463 00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:17,747 Yeah, I've been such a bitch to you over the years, 464 00:35:17,849 --> 00:35:23,082 and here you are rowing me out to dump her ashes. 465 00:35:24,388 --> 00:35:27,448 Well, it's really no big deal. 466 00:35:27,525 --> 00:35:32,792 Yes, it is. You stepped up when nobody else would, 467 00:35:32,864 --> 00:35:35,890 and here I am thinking you have an ulterior motive. 468 00:35:39,003 --> 00:35:43,099 Susan, you're such a good person. 469 00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:45,300 And I'm such a bitch. 470 00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:51,206 Edie, you're not that bad, and, believe me, I'm not that good. 471 00:35:51,282 --> 00:35:55,241 - Yes, you are. - Please don't do this. 472 00:35:55,353 --> 00:35:58,049 And Martha may be gone, 473 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:01,956 but the good Lord above has shown me that I'm not alone. 474 00:36:02,026 --> 00:36:05,393 I am so grateful that I still have a true friend. 475 00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:12,427 Thank you, Susan. 476 00:36:12,537 --> 00:36:15,301 Edie, I burned your house down. 477 00:36:15,373 --> 00:36:16,772 Huh? 478 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:21,403 I was scared you were sleeping with Mike and so I let myself in. 479 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:25,209 I accidentally knocked a candle over and the whole... just... 480 00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:30,084 I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? 481 00:36:43,234 --> 00:36:46,499 Row me back... now. 482 00:36:53,344 --> 00:36:56,472 I'm sorry about before, shoving you. I didn't mean... 483 00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:58,606 I'm not gonna break. 484 00:37:00,084 --> 00:37:02,644 I'm sorry, too. 485 00:37:02,753 --> 00:37:05,881 Questioning your commitment, your guts. 486 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:10,417 - I know better than that. - Yeah, you should. 487 00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:17,065 I keep this with me all the time to remind me why I'm there. 488 00:37:18,703 --> 00:37:21,501 If it turns out someone hurt her, I want them dead. 489 00:37:21,606 --> 00:37:24,541 We need to be sure before we do anything. 490 00:37:24,609 --> 00:37:29,637 When you're sure, I know I can trust you to take care of it. 491 00:37:29,714 --> 00:37:34,447 After all, you already killed for her once. 492 00:38:06,817 --> 00:38:08,978 Yeah, is this the pharmacy? 493 00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:12,817 My wife asked me to call. She lost her prescription. 494 00:38:12,890 --> 00:38:16,621 Gabrielle Solis. Yeah, the birth-control pills. 495 00:38:18,062 --> 00:38:23,193 Great, great. She'll be very relieved. Can she get enough for a couple months? 496 00:38:25,169 --> 00:38:27,569 That's right. Better safe than sorry. 497 00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:31,197 Thanks a lot. Oh, do you guys deliver? 498 00:38:42,019 --> 00:38:44,112 Edie, please talk to me. 499 00:38:48,259 --> 00:38:52,093 I've been thinking about this for the last 90 miles and... 500 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,654 you don't have to forgive me. 501 00:38:54,765 --> 00:38:59,429 You can go to the police, kick me, you can burn my house down. 502 00:38:59,503 --> 00:39:03,667 You just have to know that I am so racked with guilt, 503 00:39:03,741 --> 00:39:09,270 I don't think it's possible for me to suffer any more than I am already. 504 00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:13,078 Boy, I'd like to put that theory to the test. 505 00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:21,084 Well, whatever you want to do, Edie. 506 00:39:23,327 --> 00:39:25,818 Just know that I'm sorry. 507 00:39:32,803 --> 00:39:36,204 I'm not going to the police. 508 00:39:36,307 --> 00:39:38,172 - You're not? - No. 509 00:39:38,242 --> 00:39:42,076 The insurance company will investigate and it'll delay my check. 510 00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:44,909 - Thank you. - But... 511 00:39:48,119 --> 00:39:51,179 ...there is something I want you to do for me. 512 00:39:51,255 --> 00:39:54,554 Of course. Anything. You name it. What? 513 00:39:54,625 --> 00:39:57,287 I want to be invited to your poker game. 514 00:39:57,361 --> 00:40:00,421 - Our poker games? - I'm not saying I'll go. 515 00:40:00,531 --> 00:40:04,433 And I'm not saying you and your little friends have to be nice to me, 516 00:40:04,502 --> 00:40:09,235 but every once in a while, yeah, it would be nice to be asked. 517 00:40:10,541 --> 00:40:16,275 We meet on Tuesdays. And it's pot-luck lunch. Everybody brings something. 518 00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:19,315 - I'm not bringing anything. - You don't have to. 519 00:40:20,518 --> 00:40:22,611 Well, this is good. 520 00:40:23,821 --> 00:40:25,914 Thank you. 521 00:40:27,124 --> 00:40:32,994 I guess I should go take a shower and wash Mrs. Huber off me. 522 00:40:34,165 --> 00:40:35,632 Hold it. 523 00:40:35,733 --> 00:40:41,603 I can't stand the thought of Martha's ashes going down some sewer drain. 524 00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:46,432 Well, Edie, I have to clean up. 525 00:40:46,510 --> 00:40:50,002 Well, this is such a beautiful lawn. 526 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,742 We could put her to rest right here. 527 00:40:52,817 --> 00:40:56,309 - On my front lawn? - Why not? 528 00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:59,015 She can spend eternity looking at her house 529 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:01,591 and keep an eye on the neighborhood. 530 00:41:01,692 --> 00:41:03,887 She'd like that. 531 00:41:04,028 --> 00:41:07,122 Stand over here. I'll hose you off. 532 00:41:08,499 --> 00:41:11,593 I don't think so. 533 00:41:11,669 --> 00:41:14,160 You owe me. 534 00:41:21,912 --> 00:41:25,109 Martha, I'm gonna miss you. 535 00:41:42,466 --> 00:41:44,934 Death is inevitable. 536 00:41:45,002 --> 00:41:48,529 It's a promise made to each of us at birth. 537 00:41:48,606 --> 00:41:50,938 But before that promise is kept, 538 00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:54,374 we all hope something will happen to us. 539 00:41:56,647 --> 00:41:59,548 Whether it's the thrill of romance... 540 00:42:02,319 --> 00:42:04,378 ...the joy of raising a family... 541 00:42:04,488 --> 00:42:07,355 - I'm gonna get you. - I'm gonna get you. 542 00:42:07,424 --> 00:42:10,359 ...or the anguish of great loss... 543 00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:17,932 ...we all hope to experience something that makes our lives meaningful. 544 00:42:22,306 --> 00:42:26,606 But the sad fact is not all lives have meaning. 545 00:42:28,612 --> 00:42:33,675 Some people spend their time on this planet just sitting on the sidelines... 546 00:42:36,153 --> 00:42:39,281 ...waiting for something to happen to them... 547 00:42:40,624 --> 00:42:43,354 ...before it's too late.