1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,444 Desperate Housewives S01E18 Children Will Listen (VO+STFR&EN) 2 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:04,500 Is anybody here? 3 00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,096 There may have been a breakdown in our care. 4 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,504 You trying to buy us off? 5 00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,202 If you're not careful... 6 00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,471 There's this place called Camp Hennessy. 7 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:15,378 I'm not going to any camp for juvenile delinquents. 8 00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:16,847 You don't have a choice. 9 00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:18,213 ...past mistakes... 10 00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:20,149 We pulled it out of Rockwater Lake. 11 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,518 I must have sold several hundred of these. 12 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,784 I have a list of customers' names on file. 13 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,849 ...will come back to haunt you. 14 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:30,862 I won't tell anyone. I'll keep your secret, Dad. 15 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:37,297 There were many things Gabrielle Solis knew for certain. 16 00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,001 She knew red was her color. 17 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:47,577 She knew diamonds went with everything. 18 00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:51,083 And she knew men were all the same. 19 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:58,748 But the one thing Gabrielle knew above all else, 20 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,558 she would never want children. 21 00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,996 Unfortunately for Gabrielle, 22 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,732 her husband Carlos felt differently. 23 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,820 I'm so lucky to have you. 24 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,655 OK, I'll bite. 25 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,855 Why are you so lucky? 26 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,453 Because... 27 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,029 I don't want to have kids and you do. 28 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,069 Oh, that. 29 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:47,266 Most men would leave over something like that. 30 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:50,241 And you're still here. 31 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:53,768 I'm grateful. I know the sacrifice you're making. 32 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:57,248 There's still a part of me that's hoping to change your mind. 33 00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:01,913 Once you had a baby, I think you would love it so much that... 34 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:05,014 Honey, it's not gonna happen. 35 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:09,050 - You never know. - No, sometimes you do. 36 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,893 Well, it is a sacrifice. 37 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,335 But you're worth it. 38 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:27,077 Yes, Gabrielle Solis knew without a doubt she didn't want to be a mother. 39 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,115 But what she couldn't know was 40 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:32,481 just how much her husband wanted to be a father, 41 00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:37,751 or that he'd ben tampering with her birth control for months. 42 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:43,092 Or that within one wek's time... 43 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,490 ...she'd be pregnant. 44 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:38,213 Saturdays on Wisteria Lane belong to the children. 45 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:43,221 And while most would spend the day practicing their sports, 46 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,985 and riding their bikes, 47 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,352 and jumping their ropes, 48 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:54,025 others were no longer engaged in child's play. 49 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:59,003 Inded, some children were being forced to grow up very quickly. 50 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,870 Sorry to bother you. We have a few questions for you. 51 00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:03,772 About what? 52 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:08,837 Twelve years ago, your late wife purchased a toy chest. 53 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,610 Toy chest? 54 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:15,581 Yeah, it was about this big, had little dancing bears on it. 55 00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:19,091 Gosh, I'm sorry. 56 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:22,787 The craftsman who makes these chests keeps a list of customers. 57 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:26,229 Apparently, you purchased one in August 1992. 58 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:30,099 We'd like to know where that chest is now. 59 00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:32,660 Wow, I, uh... wish I could help you. 60 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,969 I don't recall any toy chest. 61 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:37,032 I remember. 62 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,544 It had little bears and balloons on it, right? 63 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,773 Yes, son, that's right. 64 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,611 We threw it away when I was little. 65 00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:46,151 I was standing on it and it busted. 66 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:49,017 - Remember, Dad? - Vaguely. 67 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,022 I guess that's all, then. 68 00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:57,892 Thank you both for your time. 69 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,229 Hey. What's the deal with this chest, anyway? 70 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,429 One just like you had washed up on Torch Lake. 71 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,166 - It had a woman in it. - A woman? 72 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:12,500 She was all chopped up. 73 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:25,118 Obviously, we need to talk. 74 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,294 You lied to me. You said it was a man in the box. 75 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,594 No, I didn't lie. 76 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,864 The policeman said it was a woman's body. You were lying. 77 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:40,269 I told you a detective came to take you away. 78 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,433 I never said it was a man. 79 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,540 - You didn't? - No. 80 00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,442 - L-I thought that... - No. 81 00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,572 Stop. Please stop. I... 82 00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:52,743 I know you're lying to me, OK? I know that you're lying. 83 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:56,050 For the last time, someone came and tried to take you away... 84 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,919 Yes, a woman. 85 00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:00,823 - A woman came. - Yes, she tried to steal you. 86 00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:03,828 From the only family that you'd ever really known. 87 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:07,696 And we couldn't let that happen. And we didn't. 88 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,065 And that... 89 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,001 ...is the truth. 90 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,476 We can't cancel now. It's two days away. 91 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,673 I'm not going. That's all there is to it. 92 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:25,582 Counseling is part of the treatment at Camp Hennessy. 93 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:28,814 Nowhere in that brochure did it say we're expected to attend. 94 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,186 What'll Andrew think if you don't show up? 95 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:35,250 I'm making him this care package. He'll know that I'm thinking about him. 96 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,991 Why are you putting in lemon squares? They told us not to send him sweets. 97 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,589 I don't understand why. 98 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:44,500 I guess they feel baked goods from Mom undercut the boot-camp experience. 99 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,664 Fine, I won't send them. But I think it's a stupid rule. 100 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,571 Are you going to this thing or not? 101 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:50,768 - No - Why? 102 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,607 Because the minute I get there, Andrew will start... 103 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:56,443 ...attacking me for abandoning him. 104 00:06:56,516 --> 00:07:00,043 - And I don't want to hear it. - There's no reason to feel guilty. 105 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,178 You did everything you could for him. 106 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,246 I don't feel guilty. 107 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:09,552 OK. 108 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,208 Please, Christy. 109 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:29,146 There's no way I can get another babysitter this late in the day. 110 00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,740 - Parker, knock it off. - No. 111 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:35,083 Because I'm having drinks with friends I used to work with. 112 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,554 They never call and if I blow them off, 113 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,682 that's it, I'm dead to them. 114 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,192 No, I can't call Patty Binks. 115 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:48,331 Because she steals things. Damn it, Christy, you're 13. 116 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:51,370 You got a lot of trips to the mall ahead of you. 117 00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:56,773 OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I raised my voice. I'm calm. 118 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,471 So I'm starting to think that this is about money. 119 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:02,343 So what is it that will make it worth your while? 120 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:06,351 A hundred! That's extortion. There's no way in hell that I'm gonna... 121 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,977 Hello? 122 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,544 Hello? 123 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:14,955 Parker, I swear I will spank you. Knock it off. 124 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:20,957 Hi, Mrs. Binks. Is Patty there? Thank you. 125 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,900 Hi, honey. I'm back. 126 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,663 Hey, sweetie. 127 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:31,608 This is Mr. Steinberg, the attorney from the hospital. 128 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,374 - Oh, have we met? - Yes, Mrs. Solis. We've met. 129 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,348 Don't you remember? 130 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:39,475 It was after Mama died. 131 00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,747 Apparently the hospital was negligent 132 00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,688 and agreed to a seven-figure settlement check. 133 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:47,624 A check I was never told about. 134 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,687 Oh, that. 135 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:53,758 I... 136 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:59,071 - Mr. Steinberg... - I was just leaving. 137 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,946 - What were you thinking?! - Let me explain. 138 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:16,887 - Why the hell didn't you tell me?! - You wouldn't make the right decision. 139 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,754 The right decision was to use that money for my lawyers, 140 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:23,090 to fight the indictment instead of taking the plea bargain. 141 00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:25,926 The government would have seized the settlement. 142 00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:29,991 - We could have fought that in court. - And you would have blown the money. 143 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:33,596 Who cares?! If there was a chance I didn't have to go to jail?! 144 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:37,109 You had Laotian convicts sewing casual wear for two cents an hour. 145 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,701 Don't you think you deserve a time-out? 146 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:43,772 Eight months. Thanks to you, I'm going away for eight months. 147 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:47,979 When you get out, we'll have money to start over with. Thanks to me. 148 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:56,153 You know, once you calm down, you're gonna realize I did the right thing. 149 00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:59,686 And when that happens, I'd appreciate an apology. 150 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,414 Grandma's here. 151 00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,616 Oh! 152 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:29,017 Now that is just... perfect. 153 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,553 Stay put. 154 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:37,263 - I am so sorry! - Hey, Mom. 155 00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:40,203 Oh, hey, Susie. 156 00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:42,604 - I goofed. - What happened? 157 00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:46,406 Oh, you know me. No depth perception whatsoever. 158 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,879 I'm stunned they even issued me a license. 159 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:51,246 So, you're Susan's mom. 160 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,410 Yeah. 161 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,249 I'm Sophie Bremmer. And you are? 162 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,720 Mike Delfino. 163 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,523 You're Mike?! Oh, my God! 164 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,290 Susan's told me so much about you! 165 00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:07,526 Well, don't just stand there. Give me a hug! 166 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:15,602 Mom. Uh... Mike and I aren't... together anymore. 167 00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,674 Oh! Sorry. 168 00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:23,680 I guess I just made this pretty awkward, huh? 169 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,217 Yeah, you... you really did. 170 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:28,617 So let's just call the insurance company. 171 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,019 OK. 172 00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:33,490 Well... It's nice meeting you anyway, Mike. 173 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,960 You too. I never would've guessed you were Susan's mom. 174 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,793 I know. I look too young. 175 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,425 I got pregnant when I was a tiny teenager. 176 00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:45,470 - OK... - The first time I got drunk, ever. 177 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,267 - Can you believe it? - Let's go. 178 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:51,867 Her father was a marine. Afterwards, he gave me three of his medals. 179 00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,538 - Mom! - What? 180 00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:57,309 Let's go inside and call the insurance company. 181 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,010 Oh, right. 182 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:10,018 What are you smiling about? 183 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:15,363 I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. 184 00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:18,369 They were all just answered. 185 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,486 Hi! 186 00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:41,754 Hi! 187 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,892 Hi! 188 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:46,761 What's going on? 189 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,800 Oh, uh... 190 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:54,068 - My babysitter cancelled. - Oh, Lynette, I'm so swamped today. 191 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:57,109 My house is a mess and I've got millions of errands to run. 192 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,371 Please hear me out. This is important. 193 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:03,006 Today, I have a chance to rejoin the human race for a few hours. 194 00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,074 There are actual adults waiting for me with margaritas. 195 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:09,315 Look, I'm in a dress. I have make-up on. 196 00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:12,585 - If it were any other day. - Bree, I'm wearing pantyhose. 197 00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:18,562 - Bring them in. - Thank you, thank you. 198 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,155 OK, in you go. 199 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,359 Then the police showed me his mug shot. 200 00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:23,958 - No! - Yes. 201 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:27,301 Mike served time for selling drugs and manslaughter. 202 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,240 - I can't believe it. - Well, it's true. 203 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:34,268 - He has such nice manners. - I know. 204 00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:40,285 Susie, I don't want you worrying too much about this Mike thing. 205 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:45,415 The right man will come along. Just give it time. 206 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,619 I would have given up entirely if it weren't for you and Morty. 207 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,122 - Morty? - Yeah, you know. 208 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:56,157 It's the third time around for both of you and you're really clicking. 209 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:58,260 Oh. It gives me hope. 210 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,837 - What's wrong? - Nothing, nothing. Um... 211 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,174 I'm just... I'm tired. 212 00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,647 You're not tired. You took a nap. What is it? 213 00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:16,354 - I left Morty. - What?! Why? 214 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,356 Because he shoved me. 215 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,289 Morty? No! 216 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,157 You think I'm lying? Fine! 217 00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:26,164 - Why would he shove you? - I confronted him. 218 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:30,066 About how much time he's spending at that damned pancake restaurant. 219 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,126 If that's where he's really been. 220 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,434 Oh, you can't be serious. Morty? 221 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,974 You think men his age don't have needs? 222 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,135 You should see the waitresses he hires. 223 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,839 Every year, they get younger and younger. 224 00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:45,611 Maybe you feel that way because every year you get older and older. 225 00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:48,175 - That's a horrible thing to say. - I'm sorry. 226 00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,688 - I'm not that old. - I said I was sorry. 227 00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:55,216 - People think we're sisters. - That's 'cause you tell them that. 228 00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:58,593 One time. You've gotta let go of that. 229 00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:03,624 OK, look. I am just saying that I don't think Morty cheated on you. 230 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,863 Well, he did shove me. 231 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,532 And the least you can do is be supportive. 232 00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,633 You're right. You're right. 233 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:14,679 - He also threw a book at me. - Oh, come on! 234 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:20,685 I mean... He shouldn't have done that. 235 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,721 Huh. Thank you. 236 00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:38,701 Porter, honey, those cookies are hot. 237 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,501 Wait a few minutes and I'll give you one, OK? 238 00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,740 You know, pictures are prettier if you color inside the lines. 239 00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:54,508 Well, art is subjective. 240 00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:59,649 - Porter! What did I tell you? - But I'm hungry. 241 00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:04,594 Then I will fix you a very nice bowl of peaches and cottage cheese. 242 00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:07,530 - Ew! Barf! - Don't be common, young man. 243 00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:10,397 Come on. If you play with those cookies one more time, 244 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,130 I'm gonna have to spank you. 245 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:15,173 - We don't get spanked. - Really? 246 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,232 Mommy always says she's gonna but she never does. 247 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,301 Well, I am not your mommy. 248 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,779 And if you misbehave in my house, 249 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,941 you will get spanked. 250 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,008 So be good. 251 00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:48,264 - It was an accident. - Porter, I warned you. 252 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,830 I'll be good. 253 00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:54,345 Those cookies were made from scratch. 254 00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:57,109 Your fate is sealed. 255 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,877 Come here. 256 00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,475 No, no! 257 00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:04,613 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 258 00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:09,585 What's that? 259 00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:12,459 It's called a post-nuptial agreement. 260 00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:16,826 - It's a legal document... - I know what a post-nup is. 261 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,870 What is it doing on my coffee table? 262 00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:22,498 I can forgive that stunt you pulled with the settlement check, 263 00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:25,873 if I'm sure you'll really be around when I get out of jail. 264 00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,078 Hm. 265 00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:31,810 And the post-nup changes the terms of the pre-nup, so... 266 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:35,843 So if you try and divorce me while I'm gone... 267 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:38,014 ...you get nothing. 268 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,887 You don't trust me? 269 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:42,483 - Afraid not. - Well, that's too bad. 270 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,052 Because I'm not signing that piece of paper. 271 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:48,429 You're a very beautiful woman, Gabrielle. 272 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:52,698 But... you're not very bright. 273 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,102 If you don't sign it, 274 00:17:56,175 --> 00:18:00,373 I'll pull the plug on the settlement agreement, divorce you, 275 00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:05,474 and then you get what amounts to about 50º% of our current savings, 276 00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:08,076 which is basically nothing. 277 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,354 So what do you expect to happen right now, Carlos? 278 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:17,020 I'll sign the paper and jump right back into your arms? 279 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,792 It doesn't mean that I don't love you. 280 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,459 You know I think you're the perfect woman. 281 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,867 Oh, but I'm not. I have flaws. 282 00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:34,811 - Flaws? - Mm-hm. 283 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,905 I'll give you an example. 284 00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:39,280 Remember the time when you were in jail 285 00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:41,911 and you told me about your secret compartment 286 00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:45,320 and you told me to burn the papers that I found in there? 287 00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:49,019 Well, me being pretty and therefore stupid, 288 00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,187 I forgot. 289 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:53,163 You didn't burn the papers. 290 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:56,633 Worse. I read them. 291 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:59,398 - OK, OK... - You have a nerve talking about trust 292 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,065 with a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands! 293 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,577 - That was a safety net for both of us. - I'll bet. 294 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,909 - Have you told anyone about this? - No, but I could. 295 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:12,473 Isn't that why the prosecution didn't have a case against you? 296 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,849 They couldn't find the profits you made. 297 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,788 So if I were you, I wouldn't mention the words divorce, 298 00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:22,258 trust, or post-nup ever again. 299 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,887 You don't wanna piss me off. 300 00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:36,563 I know, baby. It hurts to lose. 301 00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,273 Ante up. 302 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,682 Well, look at me! 303 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:51,587 Finally in on one of your legendary poker parties. 304 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,387 Susan's always telling me how much fun you have. 305 00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:58,293 The rules are simple. We play for cash, the dealer picks the game, 306 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,560 and unsubstantiated gossip is encouraged. 307 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:05,569 Bree, thanks again for watching my boys. They weren't too much to handle? 308 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:09,573 We had a wonderful time. Although I think Porter had a little less fun. 309 00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,370 OK, I'll bet. 310 00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:14,935 So, Sophie, Susan says you're going to the spa tomorrow. 311 00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:18,141 - Is it an all-day thing? - What do you mean, Porter had less fun? 312 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,414 - I'll raise. - He misbehaved, so I had to punish him. 313 00:20:21,486 --> 00:20:25,149 Yes, Susan is treating me to an entire day of... 314 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,387 When you say punishment, what exactly are we talking about? 315 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,519 Oh, I had to spank him. 316 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,826 OK, I will re-raise. 317 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,597 You spanked my son? 318 00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:43,206 Las Brisas Spa. Yup, that's where we're going. 319 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,902 Lynette, is there a problem? 320 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,540 Tom and I don't believe in hitting our kids. 321 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:52,777 Sorry, I didn't know. 322 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:56,082 It won't happen again. 323 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,058 Of course, I'm somewhat surprised you don't spank them. 324 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:04,061 Everybody knows they're a little bit... out of control. 325 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:09,361 Wow, I am dragging today. Shall we put on another pot of coffee? 326 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,425 Yeah, I'll do it. 327 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,706 I'II... I'll fold. 328 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:19,540 Yeah, you're right, Bree. I've got a lot to learn about parenting. 329 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:22,011 I feel so blessed to be getting sage advice 330 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,071 from an impeccable mother like you. 331 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:27,312 Your kids turned out perfect, if you don't count Andrew. 332 00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:29,513 Where is he, again? 333 00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:33,149 Some kind of a boot camp for juvenile delinquents? 334 00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:35,216 OK, girls. 335 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,159 I never said I was perfect. 336 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,754 - Honey, nobody's blaming you. - The hell I'm not. 337 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:41,458 Lynette... 338 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,608 If you will excuse me. 339 00:21:54,513 --> 00:21:58,142 - Lynette, will you go after her? - She spanked my son. 340 00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:00,411 I'm not apologizing. 341 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,351 Usually, poker is more fun than this. 342 00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:09,451 Oh. 343 00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:13,294 So help me, if you don't back me up on this, I will lose it. 344 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:17,802 Yes, Bree shouldn't have spanked Porter. But it's not like she hurt him. 345 00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:21,361 That is not the point. You don't spank other people's children. 346 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,375 He was misbehaving. She had to do something. 347 00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:28,174 But make no mistake, she definitely crossed the line. 348 00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:31,738 Damn right. She could've tried something else, like a time-out, 349 00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:34,581 or she could've simply threatened to spank him. 350 00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:38,020 Yeah, 'cause that works out so well when we do it. 351 00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:40,888 It does work. It does work most of the time. 352 00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:45,862 It used to work. They've figured out it's an empty threat. They're onto us. 353 00:22:47,332 --> 00:22:50,426 My mom used to beat the hell out of my sisters and me, 354 00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:52,231 and I won't do it. 355 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,969 I will not become my mother. 356 00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:02,371 Fine. 357 00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:05,541 But the boys are getting older and smarter. 358 00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:07,278 And eventually, believe me, 359 00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:10,480 they'll figure out that they outnumber us and then... 360 00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:12,216 We're screwed. 361 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:15,216 Exactly. 362 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:33,873 Excuse me, Zachary. Would you mind helping me with these bags? 363 00:23:33,945 --> 00:23:36,971 There's some banana bread in it for you if you do. 364 00:23:37,048 --> 00:23:39,778 Uh, yeah, sure. 365 00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:44,550 Mm. This is really good, Mrs. Tillman. Thanks a lot. 366 00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:46,523 You're welcome, Zachary. 367 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,059 I've never been in Mrs. Huber's house before. 368 00:23:49,127 --> 00:23:52,187 Obviously you haven't missed much. 369 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:56,598 This is the place where good taste goes to die. 370 00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:03,864 So, I heard you and your father arguing the other day. 371 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:06,376 - Everything all right at home? - Yeah. 372 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,005 We just have... problems, sometimes. 373 00:24:10,415 --> 00:24:13,384 I bet you miss your mother. 374 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:18,287 I'm sure things were... different when she was alive. 375 00:24:18,356 --> 00:24:21,291 Such a warm, loving woman. 376 00:24:24,362 --> 00:24:25,761 You... 377 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,663 ...knew my mother? 378 00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:32,931 Yup. Years ago, in Utah. We worked together. 379 00:24:34,372 --> 00:24:37,933 - I didn't know that. - It's true. 380 00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:40,969 In fact... 381 00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:44,676 ...I'll tell you a secret. 382 00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:48,150 I once met you when you were a little baby. 383 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,682 Really? 384 00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:52,620 Mm-hm. 385 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:59,028 Your mother loved you so much, Zachary. 386 00:25:01,066 --> 00:25:03,534 Of all the things I remember, 387 00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:07,464 I remember that the most. 388 00:25:17,816 --> 00:25:21,047 You wanna know what else I remember? 389 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:27,419 How lovely your original name was. 390 00:25:33,665 --> 00:25:35,496 Dana? 391 00:25:47,913 --> 00:25:50,473 Isn't this nice? 392 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:53,109 Just the two of us girls hanging out, 393 00:25:53,184 --> 00:25:55,175 getting pretty. 394 00:25:55,253 --> 00:25:59,383 - Oh, thank you. - My pleasure. 395 00:25:59,457 --> 00:26:03,894 So, I was thinking maybe you should call Morty. 396 00:26:03,962 --> 00:26:06,556 You know, get started working things out? 397 00:26:09,134 --> 00:26:11,500 Why work things out with a man who abuses me? 398 00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:15,940 You don't have to gasp. My mother exaggerates. 399 00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:18,339 She won't be happy till I have bruises. 400 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,345 Um, can we just focus? What I want to know is, 401 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:26,146 have you thought about what's going to happen if you don't go back to Morty? 402 00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:28,014 What do you mean? 403 00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:31,749 Well, you don't have a place to live, you don't like to work, 404 00:26:31,823 --> 00:26:35,259 you didn't want to marry Morty so he doesn't have to pay you alimony. 405 00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:40,822 If you don't go back to this man who allegedly shoved you once in five years, 406 00:26:40,899 --> 00:26:43,527 what are your options? 407 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,467 I thought I could live with you. 408 00:26:45,537 --> 00:26:46,868 What?! 409 00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:49,463 Oh, God! Are you all right?! 410 00:26:49,541 --> 00:26:51,805 - Get away! - I'm so sorry. I was startled. 411 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:53,400 Here, lean your head back. 412 00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:56,276 I'm not saying permanently, just a couple of years. 413 00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:59,579 - You broke my nose. - No, it's just banged a little. 414 00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:02,711 - Till I get back on my feet. - Can we talk about this later? 415 00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:06,314 - Should we call 911? - It's just a nosebleed. She's fine. 416 00:27:06,391 --> 00:27:10,088 - I thought you'd be excited. - It's not that I'm not excited. 417 00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:12,220 I'm not stupid, Susan. 418 00:27:13,198 --> 00:27:15,962 It's obvious you don't want me here. 419 00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:18,969 No, that's not true! Mom, don't go! 420 00:27:19,037 --> 00:27:21,232 Mom, come back! 421 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:22,603 You know, I need to... 422 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,466 - We're good, right? - Just go. 423 00:28:14,659 --> 00:28:17,355 Why aren't you dressed yet? 424 00:28:17,429 --> 00:28:21,991 I wanted to wear Andrew's favorite color and then I realized that... 425 00:28:23,134 --> 00:28:25,864 ...I don't know what it is. 426 00:28:25,937 --> 00:28:30,135 Honey, I think the fact you decided to come at all will make him happy. 427 00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:32,335 Yours is blue. 428 00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:35,106 Danielle loves pink. 429 00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:39,310 And I have no idea what my own son's favorite color is. 430 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:42,615 - I'm telling you, it doesn't matter. - How can you say that? 431 00:28:42,687 --> 00:28:44,348 - Of course it matters. - Bree... 432 00:28:44,422 --> 00:28:48,153 That is a good mother. Someone who knows their child inside and out 433 00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:52,094 so that if they get in trouble, they know what to do. 434 00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:57,194 I don't know him well enough. 435 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,531 You are a good mother. 436 00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:13,341 Brown or green? I... just don't know. 437 00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:19,517 I'm gonna wait in the car. 438 00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,786 Whenever you're ready. 439 00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:30,560 Green. 440 00:29:30,635 --> 00:29:34,401 I'll go with the green. Everybody loves green. 441 00:29:55,493 --> 00:30:00,089 - I told you. I'm not signing this. - Oh, I think you are. 442 00:30:00,165 --> 00:30:03,760 Because if you don't, I will divorce you. 443 00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:08,768 Then I'll go to the police. 444 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,070 And tell them what? 445 00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:16,512 There's a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands that no longer exists? 446 00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:19,175 - You moved the money? - Of course I moved the money. 447 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,121 That was risky. I mean, the Feds are watching you right now. 448 00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:29,592 I had to do something. 449 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:34,325 I couldn't just let you make a fool out of me. 450 00:30:39,871 --> 00:30:42,533 Oh! Stop, Carlos, stop it! 451 00:30:42,607 --> 00:30:44,632 - Put me down! - OK. 452 00:30:44,709 --> 00:30:46,199 Put me down! 453 00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:49,612 Let me go! 454 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:52,809 Stop! You're hurting me, Carlos! 455 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,851 Sign it. 456 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,188 Sign it! 457 00:31:11,302 --> 00:31:13,361 I know, baby. 458 00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:17,070 It hurts to lose. 459 00:31:47,205 --> 00:31:49,469 Mr. And Mrs. Van De Kamp? 460 00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:51,770 Uh, yes. Is it our turn? 461 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:55,779 Well, uh, sort of. Andrew's waiting inside but, uh... 462 00:31:55,847 --> 00:31:56,939 What's wrong? 463 00:31:57,015 --> 00:32:02,043 Well, he said he won't go forward with the session if... his mother's involved. 464 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,645 He only wants to talk to his dad. 465 00:32:04,722 --> 00:32:08,089 We drove 200 miles to be here today. This is unacceptable. 466 00:32:08,159 --> 00:32:10,650 Yeah, I share your frustration. 467 00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:13,623 To hell with him, then. We're going home. 468 00:32:13,698 --> 00:32:16,166 - No. - I'm not gonna let him insult you. 469 00:32:16,234 --> 00:32:20,068 He blames me for his being here. He blames me for everything. 470 00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:25,107 - And he's probably right. - Any mistakes were made by both of us. 471 00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:29,178 One of us should go talk to him, see how he is. 472 00:32:29,247 --> 00:32:31,477 I'm OK. 473 00:32:31,549 --> 00:32:35,349 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm fine. 474 00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:40,619 Right this way. 475 00:33:08,686 --> 00:33:10,586 Mom! Mom! 476 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:14,147 I'm coming. What is it? Why aren't you brushing your teeth? 477 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:19,425 - What happened? - Porter pushed me and it fell in. 478 00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:21,965 - He pushed me first. - Can I flush it? 479 00:33:22,033 --> 00:33:24,501 No, no, I'll fish it out later. 480 00:33:24,569 --> 00:33:29,006 You're off the hook tonight but not you two, so start brushing. 481 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:34,377 Preston, did you not hear me? I said start brushing your teeth. 482 00:33:34,445 --> 00:33:36,936 What are you doing? 483 00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,650 Don't you dare. 484 00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:42,276 Do it! Do it! 485 00:33:42,353 --> 00:33:46,346 Don't listen to them. Back away from the toilet and no one gets hurt. 486 00:33:46,424 --> 00:33:47,823 Do it! Do it! 487 00:33:47,892 --> 00:33:50,588 I mean it this time. These are not just words. 488 00:33:50,661 --> 00:33:52,424 Do it! Do it! 489 00:33:52,497 --> 00:33:55,625 If you do this, so help me... 490 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:58,726 Hearing the hollowness of her own voice, 491 00:33:58,803 --> 00:34:02,705 Lynette realized that it was time to get one step ahead. 492 00:34:03,775 --> 00:34:04,833 Do it! Do it! 493 00:34:04,909 --> 00:34:07,241 I will walk you over to Mrs. Van De Kamp's 494 00:34:07,311 --> 00:34:10,474 and we all know what happens when she gets mad. 495 00:34:13,084 --> 00:34:14,346 Now... 496 00:34:15,253 --> 00:34:17,813 Go brush your teeth. I want 'em to sparkle. Go on. 497 00:34:21,426 --> 00:34:25,362 Sorry you had to bring your kid back. What happened this time? 498 00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:28,763 A couple of months back, I caught Tug going through my purse. 499 00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:31,893 Oh, I hate when they do that. 500 00:34:31,969 --> 00:34:36,201 - Was he looking for weed or money? - Who knows at this point? 501 00:34:36,274 --> 00:34:40,370 Anyway, I'd knocked a couple back and things got heated. 502 00:34:40,445 --> 00:34:44,211 Pretty soon we're both screaming, throwing stuff round the apartment. 503 00:34:44,282 --> 00:34:46,580 Next thing, lady upstairs calls the cops. 504 00:34:46,651 --> 00:34:48,744 Oh, gimme a break. 505 00:34:52,323 --> 00:34:57,989 So, now I got some social worker telling me how to raise my boy. 506 00:34:58,062 --> 00:35:01,088 Kids! Boy, if I knew then what I know now, 507 00:35:01,165 --> 00:35:05,568 I would've had that hysterectomy 20 years ago. 508 00:35:14,178 --> 00:35:18,274 - Uh, Bree... - Don't get up. I'll be quick. 509 00:35:18,349 --> 00:35:24,151 All any parent can do is provide their child with the tools to succeed in life. 510 00:35:24,222 --> 00:35:27,419 Education, love, a good clean, safe home. 511 00:35:27,492 --> 00:35:30,552 I've given you those things and I'm through feeling guilty. 512 00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:32,994 If you wanna piss your life away and blame it on 513 00:35:33,064 --> 00:35:35,294 how horrible things are at home, go ahead. 514 00:35:35,366 --> 00:35:38,824 I want it stated for the record that I'm a good mother. Do you hear me? 515 00:35:38,903 --> 00:35:41,167 I am a good mother. 516 00:35:43,608 --> 00:35:45,235 Bree... 517 00:35:46,677 --> 00:35:50,374 Andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay. 518 00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:53,512 What?! 519 00:35:53,584 --> 00:35:56,280 That's why he wanted me to come in first. 520 00:35:56,354 --> 00:35:59,289 He thought I could take it better. 521 00:36:05,129 --> 00:36:08,121 Well, he was right. I will be waiting in the car. 522 00:36:17,141 --> 00:36:20,008 Mrs. Solis. What are you doing here? 523 00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:26,744 - OK. - Are your roommates here? 524 00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:28,341 No. 525 00:36:28,419 --> 00:36:31,047 - Are you OK? - Yeah. 526 00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:34,590 - What's this? - That? Uh... 527 00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:38,060 Carlos just got a little rough. Made me sign some papers. 528 00:36:38,129 --> 00:36:40,120 He hurt you? 529 00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:45,591 - What are you doing? - I'll take care of this. 530 00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:48,468 - Don't do anything. - We can't let him get away with it. 531 00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:51,508 Look, if you really wanna get back at him, then kiss me. 532 00:36:51,576 --> 00:36:53,567 - How's that gonna help? - Because... 533 00:36:53,644 --> 00:36:55,737 one day when the time is right, 534 00:36:55,813 --> 00:36:58,805 I'm gonna tell him how he drove me right into your arms. 535 00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:00,874 And that's gonna kill him. 536 00:37:05,156 --> 00:37:09,490 And tonight, just... Whatever you do, don't call me beautiful. 537 00:37:23,007 --> 00:37:25,100 Oh, Morty, look who's here. 538 00:37:25,176 --> 00:37:27,667 Hey, Millie. Hi, Morty. 539 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:30,236 Susie, what brings you here? 540 00:37:30,314 --> 00:37:32,942 Mom. I brought her over. 541 00:37:34,852 --> 00:37:37,582 What's she doing out there? 542 00:37:37,655 --> 00:37:40,556 She says she won't come in until you apologize to her. 543 00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:43,890 - For what? - For shoving her. 544 00:37:43,961 --> 00:37:47,727 I only shoved her because she wouldn't stop hitting me. 545 00:37:47,798 --> 00:37:49,789 Why was she hitting you? 546 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:52,062 I threw a... I threw a book at her. 547 00:37:52,136 --> 00:37:54,297 - Morty! - It was a paperback. 548 00:37:54,372 --> 00:37:57,967 - Well, even so! - At least I missed. 549 00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:00,977 I mean, she... She hit me square in the gut. 550 00:38:01,045 --> 00:38:04,446 - Wanna see the bruise? - That's OK. That's OK. 551 00:38:05,783 --> 00:38:09,310 - It really hurt. - Yeah, I understand. 552 00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:11,321 So... 553 00:38:12,323 --> 00:38:15,087 Could you, uh, just go out and apologize? 554 00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:16,820 - No. - Why? 555 00:38:16,894 --> 00:38:19,886 - 'Cause I don't want her back. - Morty! 556 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:25,266 Look, I love her, but the Pancake Shack is just starting to take off. 557 00:38:25,336 --> 00:38:29,397 We're talking about opening another one. That's practically a chain. 558 00:38:30,574 --> 00:38:33,168 I don't have time for her hysterics. 559 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:35,610 I sympathize, I really do. 560 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,978 - But you have to take her back. - Why? 561 00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:40,449 Because she wants to move in with me. 562 00:38:41,752 --> 00:38:42,878 Oh. 563 00:38:42,953 --> 00:38:46,719 I'd like to have a relationship again, and at my age, with a kid, 564 00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:50,124 if she moves into my house, even for a couple of years, I'm doomed. 565 00:38:50,194 --> 00:38:53,925 Wasn't there a plumber? Your mother said you were in love with a plumber. 566 00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:56,831 I am. I mean, I was. 567 00:38:56,901 --> 00:39:00,530 - It didn't work out. - I'm sorry. 568 00:39:00,604 --> 00:39:04,438 If she moves in, she will burn up all my oxygen and I need it. 569 00:39:05,710 --> 00:39:08,042 Please, can't you give her another chance? 570 00:39:08,112 --> 00:39:10,672 You guys are really good together, you know? 571 00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:13,774 When you're... When, when, when there's no violence. 572 00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:16,217 Well, we do have chemistry. 573 00:39:16,287 --> 00:39:17,618 Absolutely. 574 00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:21,385 And, you know, the sex was like... Wow! 575 00:39:21,459 --> 00:39:25,486 I mean, there was this one time, we were coming home on the interstate... 576 00:39:25,563 --> 00:39:28,760 You don't have to sell me. Just go talk to her. 577 00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:31,428 Now. 578 00:39:34,605 --> 00:39:36,436 OK. 579 00:39:45,983 --> 00:39:48,417 That was a mighty big sigh. 580 00:39:48,486 --> 00:39:51,546 I just keep thinking it's coming, and I can't stop it. 581 00:39:51,622 --> 00:39:52,748 What's that? 582 00:39:52,823 --> 00:39:56,224 The day my mother will need to move in and I won't have a choice. 583 00:39:56,293 --> 00:40:01,458 I know it's years away. She's youthful and vibrant, thank God. 584 00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:06,162 But time flies. One day she won't be able to take care of herself anymore. 585 00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:09,764 - And I'll have to step up. - I suppose that's true. 586 00:40:10,841 --> 00:40:12,741 I think it's nature's little joke, 587 00:40:12,810 --> 00:40:17,076 that children ultimately end up parenting their parents. 588 00:40:17,148 --> 00:40:19,548 Well, when that day comes, I'll be ready. 589 00:40:19,617 --> 00:40:21,983 Honey, you'd better get out there. 590 00:40:22,052 --> 00:40:24,111 Stop it! Aaagh! 591 00:40:29,059 --> 00:40:30,754 What are you doing? 592 00:40:30,828 --> 00:40:34,264 Porter says he can't catch me! 593 00:41:00,825 --> 00:41:01,814 Hey. 594 00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:08,594 Look, I just wanted to apologize... 595 00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:10,361 Lynette, don't. 596 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:16,336 The fact that you just crossed that street means the world to me. 597 00:41:16,407 --> 00:41:19,103 And if anyone here should apologize, it's me. 598 00:41:20,077 --> 00:41:21,237 Thank you. 599 00:41:27,117 --> 00:41:29,745 Looks like Tom's got the mob under control. 600 00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:34,348 Wanna have some coffee, sit around, bitch about our kids...? 601 00:41:35,826 --> 00:41:37,851 - I would love to. - OK. 602 00:41:44,401 --> 00:41:48,633 Children come into the world with their own agendas. 603 00:41:48,706 --> 00:41:51,675 Some to brighten our days. 604 00:41:53,677 --> 00:41:57,579 Some to test our patience. 605 00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:04,142 Some to give us purpose. 606 00:42:08,959 --> 00:42:11,951 Some to take care of us. 607 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,663 Yes, when they come, 608 00:42:19,737 --> 00:42:22,535 children change everything. 609 00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:33,984 Especially when they're not invited.