1 00:00:00,795 --> 00:00:02,695 Previously on "Desperate Housewives" 2 00:00:02,761 --> 00:00:06,684 At Mike's funeral, Susan and M.J. said good-bye. 3 00:00:06,685 --> 00:00:08,685 Gaby gave her blessing. 4 00:00:08,685 --> 00:00:09,892 You should quit your job. 5 00:00:09,946 --> 00:00:12,107 If being a counselor is gonna make you happy, 6 00:00:12,107 --> 00:00:13,408 then that's what you should do. 7 00:00:13,455 --> 00:00:16,421 Lynette spoke her mind about Tom's girlfriend... 8 00:00:16,422 --> 00:00:19,417 I actually don't think it's gonna last that much longer. 9 00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:21,425 And the police gathered more evidence. 10 00:00:21,426 --> 00:00:25,426 - Someone is accusing you of killing Mr. Sanchez. - That's just silly. 11 00:00:25,614 --> 00:00:29,560 I wanna make sure we get enough to put this bitch away for good. 12 00:00:32,758 --> 00:00:36,828 Renee Perry had waited many months for a proposal, 13 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:40,823 and for many months, she had been disappointed. 14 00:00:40,824 --> 00:00:45,816 There had been cozy evening by the fire... 15 00:00:45,816 --> 00:00:48,808 that didn't go the way she had hoped. 16 00:00:50,988 --> 00:00:54,992 A romantic moment in Wisteria park... 17 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:56,578 that wasn't so romantic 18 00:00:56,579 --> 00:01:00,502 after all. 19 00:01:00,503 --> 00:01:04,510 And a beautiful picnic by a lake... 20 00:01:04,511 --> 00:01:06,482 that turned out to be 21 00:01:06,482 --> 00:01:08,528 nothing more than a picnic. 22 00:01:10,553 --> 00:01:14,574 So when disappointment struck again... 23 00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:19,468 Renee decided to speak up. 24 00:01:19,469 --> 00:01:20,506 Dessert? 25 00:01:20,507 --> 00:01:22,764 That's the big finale to a 6-course meal? 26 00:01:22,855 --> 00:01:23,780 Dessert? 27 00:01:23,872 --> 00:01:25,868 Were you expecting, like, a cheese course? 28 00:01:25,869 --> 00:01:26,867 No! 29 00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:28,850 I was expecting a ring. 30 00:01:28,851 --> 00:01:30,947 You have red roses, champagne. 31 00:01:30,947 --> 00:01:32,883 You are sending me every signal in the world 32 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,877 that I'm about to get a big proposal 33 00:01:34,878 --> 00:01:36,889 and instead, I get a cookie. 34 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:37,935 Well, it's a chocolate souffle. 35 00:01:37,936 --> 00:01:40,950 Whatever. I am not a young woman. 36 00:01:40,951 --> 00:01:43,950 I don't know how many more fake outs my heart can take. 37 00:01:43,951 --> 00:01:47,942 Okay, fine. I-I was gonna propose tonight. 38 00:01:47,943 --> 00:01:49,959 I just did such a horrible job the first time, 39 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,931 I-I... I wanted this to be exceptional. 40 00:01:52,931 --> 00:01:54,922 They call it "popping the question," 41 00:01:54,923 --> 00:01:56,930 not "dragging it out to eternity," 42 00:01:56,931 --> 00:01:58,946 so come on! Pop! 43 00:01:58,947 --> 00:02:01,851 Can I at least, uh, read you the speech that I wrote? 44 00:02:01,851 --> 00:02:05,889 Oh, lord. Just give me the last paragraph. 45 00:02:07,951 --> 00:02:10,850 Uh... 46 00:02:10,851 --> 00:02:11,909 Okay. 47 00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:13,943 "For all these reasons and more, 48 00:02:13,943 --> 00:02:16,910 it is with great honor, that I ask you if you"... 49 00:02:18,893 --> 00:02:20,922 uh, we're ignoring that. Keep going. 50 00:02:20,922 --> 00:02:22,901 "...I-if you would consider making me 51 00:02:22,902 --> 00:02:24,871 the happiest man in the"... 52 00:02:24,872 --> 00:02:26,838 Go away! 53 00:02:26,839 --> 00:02:28,897 It's the police. 54 00:02:28,897 --> 00:02:32,843 We're looking for a Mr. Ben Faulkner. 55 00:02:36,951 --> 00:02:40,901 I'm Ben Faulkner. How can I help you? 56 00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:43,938 You own the condominium project under construction at Chapman woods? 57 00:02:43,939 --> 00:02:45,906 I used to. Bank owns it now. 58 00:02:45,906 --> 00:02:47,881 You mind coming down to the station with us? 59 00:02:47,882 --> 00:02:50,876 I want to ask you about a body we found on the site. 60 00:02:50,877 --> 00:02:52,956 Is... he under arrest? 61 00:02:52,956 --> 00:02:56,868 No, ma'am. We just want to ask you boyfriend a few questions. 62 00:02:57,922 --> 00:02:59,935 Wait! 63 00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:04,851 Ah. 64 00:03:08,935 --> 00:03:12,838 He's not my boyfriend. He's my fiance. 65 00:03:12,839 --> 00:03:17,896 Yes, Renee Perry had waited a long time for a proposal... 66 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,856 Okay. Now you can take him. 67 00:03:19,856 --> 00:03:25,851 and she wasn't about to let it slip through her fingers. 68 00:03:29,498 --> 00:03:37,495 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru 69 00:03:38,906 --> 00:03:41,842 Bree Van de Kamp started every morning 70 00:03:41,843 --> 00:03:44,913 by catching up on the latest news, 71 00:03:44,914 --> 00:03:49,959 but sometimes the news came from an unexpected source. 72 00:03:51,054 --> 00:03:55,003 Hey, Bree. Look what happened to my hand. 73 00:03:55,004 --> 00:03:56,553 Oh, my goodness! 74 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:57,394 Are you... 75 00:03:57,478 --> 00:03:58,512 We're getting married. 76 00:03:59,048 --> 00:04:01,021 Oh, how wonderful! 77 00:04:01,022 --> 00:04:03,059 - Yeah, we're pretty happy. - "Pretty happy"? 78 00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:05,001 Oh, we're ecstatic. Knickers to the wind. 79 00:04:05,132 --> 00:04:06,219 Over the moon. 80 00:04:06,219 --> 00:04:08,185 Congratulations. When did this happen? 81 00:04:08,186 --> 00:04:10,147 Last night. Oh, and get this... 82 00:04:10,148 --> 00:04:12,163 in the middle of his big, romantic proposal, 83 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:14,219 the cops come by to ask about some dead body 84 00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:16,219 they found at the construction site. 85 00:04:18,202 --> 00:04:20,159 So tell me more. 86 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,238 Well, I definitely want a big wedding. Bridesmaids, the works. 87 00:04:23,239 --> 00:04:26,160 I was talking about the body. What did the police say? 88 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,241 Uh, not much. You know, I told them 89 00:04:27,242 --> 00:04:29,252 that I didn't know anything about it, and they believed me. 90 00:04:29,253 --> 00:04:31,181 Good. 91 00:04:31,181 --> 00:04:32,246 Although I have to say, 92 00:04:32,247 --> 00:04:34,225 I'm surprised you didn't tell me sooner. 93 00:04:34,226 --> 00:04:36,206 - You know... - Oh, we're sorry. Uh, it was late, 94 00:04:36,207 --> 00:04:38,206 and I wanted to tell my sister first. 95 00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:40,164 Again, talking about the body. 96 00:04:40,164 --> 00:04:41,206 Why would we tell you that? 97 00:04:41,207 --> 00:04:44,163 And why are we talking about this and not me? 98 00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:47,163 Quite right. I-I just would hate to see this tragic news 99 00:04:47,164 --> 00:04:49,156 interfere with your happy day. 100 00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,233 And I don't think it will, 101 00:04:50,234 --> 00:04:52,206 but I really don't think you should worry about it. 102 00:04:52,207 --> 00:04:56,135 Uh, the police don't seem like they're gonna pose a problem. 103 00:04:58,177 --> 00:04:59,189 That was judge Kemp. 104 00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,205 He just signed off on that warrant. 105 00:05:01,206 --> 00:05:03,226 For Bree Van de Kamp? 106 00:05:03,227 --> 00:05:05,172 That was fast. 107 00:05:05,173 --> 00:05:07,210 I might've called in some favors. 108 00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:09,198 The sooner I can prove she's guilty, 109 00:05:09,199 --> 00:05:13,142 the sooner I can watch her pay for it. 110 00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:16,155 We got another one. Um, mitzi kinsky. 111 00:05:16,156 --> 00:05:19,197 "Mike was a ray of sunshine on our street. 112 00:05:19,198 --> 00:05:21,138 He will be missed dearly." 113 00:05:21,139 --> 00:05:24,163 Isn't that lovely? Everybody's been so generous. 114 00:05:24,164 --> 00:05:27,142 Yeah. Ten jars of homemade jam. 115 00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:29,156 I don't know if she was being generous 116 00:05:29,156 --> 00:05:31,148 or just cleaning out her basement. 117 00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:35,205 Well, either way, it's a gesture of love and support. 118 00:05:35,206 --> 00:05:38,147 Makes me feel better. 119 00:05:38,148 --> 00:05:40,213 There is my baby boy. 120 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,230 Morning, bub. 121 00:05:42,231 --> 00:05:45,169 Eggs on a raft, 122 00:05:45,169 --> 00:05:46,239 just the way you like 'em. 123 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,197 These smell gross. 124 00:05:49,198 --> 00:05:51,198 Okay, um, not a problem. 125 00:05:51,198 --> 00:05:53,185 Is there something else you'd like me to... 126 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,205 M.J. 127 00:05:55,206 --> 00:05:57,130 It's okay, honey. 128 00:05:57,131 --> 00:05:59,156 Um, what do you want? 129 00:05:59,156 --> 00:06:00,252 Strawberry ice cream. 130 00:06:00,253 --> 00:06:02,202 Uh, buddy, I don't think 131 00:06:02,202 --> 00:06:04,196 that's the healthiest way to start your day. 132 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,198 I don't care what you think. 133 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,189 Well... 134 00:06:07,189 --> 00:06:08,248 Maybe just this once. 135 00:06:08,249 --> 00:06:11,219 I'll get you a bowl. 136 00:06:15,135 --> 00:06:18,198 Or, uh, no bowl is good. 137 00:06:18,198 --> 00:06:20,137 I'm gonna eat this in front of the TV. 138 00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:21,219 Can you bring me some Sprinkles? 139 00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:23,219 Of course, honey. 140 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:26,213 Uh, mom. 141 00:06:26,214 --> 00:06:30,247 What? It's just ice cream, okay? 142 00:06:30,248 --> 00:06:32,213 He lost his dad. 143 00:06:32,214 --> 00:06:35,168 Okay. 144 00:06:35,169 --> 00:06:39,151 Mom, where's my Sprinkles? 145 00:06:39,152 --> 00:06:41,155 Coming! 146 00:06:41,156 --> 00:06:43,230 Whoa. What's... going on here? 147 00:06:43,231 --> 00:06:46,226 I thought I'd kick off your big resignation day 148 00:06:46,227 --> 00:06:49,160 with a power breakfast. 149 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,193 Plus the expiration on this sausage was yesterday. 150 00:06:51,194 --> 00:06:54,233 I gotta say, now that the day is finally here, 151 00:06:54,234 --> 00:06:56,191 I'm starting to get a little freaked out. 152 00:06:56,192 --> 00:06:57,243 Don't you worry. 153 00:06:57,244 --> 00:06:59,213 I've made a decision. 154 00:06:59,214 --> 00:07:01,184 I'm getting a job. 155 00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:03,247 What? You don't have to do that. 156 00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,247 No, I want to. It's time I help out. 157 00:07:05,248 --> 00:07:08,130 I owe it to you. 158 00:07:08,131 --> 00:07:10,205 So I wrote up a resume, 159 00:07:10,206 --> 00:07:13,180 I booked a meeting at an employment agency, 160 00:07:13,181 --> 00:07:17,252 and I even bought myself a girlie briefcase. 161 00:07:17,252 --> 00:07:19,210 But I thought we were just gonna cut back, 162 00:07:19,211 --> 00:07:21,147 live a smaller life? 163 00:07:21,148 --> 00:07:23,234 Yeah, I thought about that. 164 00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:26,143 Then I decided I want a slightly bigger life, 165 00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:27,202 so I figure if I work, 166 00:07:27,203 --> 00:07:30,201 the girls can stay in private school, we can keep both cars, 167 00:07:30,202 --> 00:07:32,193 and maybe even take 168 00:07:32,193 --> 00:07:34,231 one of those ski trips we talked about canceling. 169 00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:37,188 Gaby, I love that you're trying to help, 170 00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:40,198 but an entry-level salary is not gonna cover the cost of skis, 171 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,191 let alone five nights at the Ritz. 172 00:07:42,192 --> 00:07:44,246 Well, maybe not now, but if I work my way up the ladder, 173 00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:46,231 in a few years, I'll be pulling in the big bucks, 174 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,176 just like you do. 175 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:50,151 Or did. 176 00:07:50,152 --> 00:07:53,134 What kind of ladder are we talking about here? 177 00:07:53,135 --> 00:07:55,152 What is it that you're gonna do? 178 00:07:55,152 --> 00:07:57,198 I don't know yet. That's where the employment lady comes in. 179 00:07:57,199 --> 00:07:59,176 She's gonna help me figure out 180 00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:02,184 how to best utilize my "skill set." 181 00:08:02,185 --> 00:08:05,159 Yeah, I read that in one of your business magazines. 182 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:08,230 I'm proud of you stepping up like this. 183 00:08:08,231 --> 00:08:10,247 I hope you find a job that has health care, 184 00:08:10,248 --> 00:08:12,222 'cause my benefits end today. 185 00:08:12,223 --> 00:08:14,177 What? 186 00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:16,185 No risky meat without benefits. 187 00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:20,252 Yeah, Doug and I eloped, 188 00:08:20,253 --> 00:08:24,134 so this time, I want an over-the-top wedding... 189 00:08:24,135 --> 00:08:26,156 horse-drawn carriages, fireworks, 190 00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:28,193 poodles dyed purple. 191 00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:32,180 Uh, is this weird, 192 00:08:32,181 --> 00:08:34,159 me going on about how happy I am 193 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,242 while you're all sad and single? 194 00:08:36,243 --> 00:08:40,218 Actually, I'm hoping I won't be single for long. 195 00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,242 I've decided to try to get Tom back. 196 00:08:42,243 --> 00:08:44,238 So we're done talking about me? 197 00:08:44,239 --> 00:08:46,197 Yeah. Kinda. 198 00:08:46,265 --> 00:08:47,314 Great. 199 00:08:47,315 --> 00:08:49,268 So what are you thinking? 200 00:08:49,269 --> 00:08:51,239 I figure I'll just come clean, 201 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:55,210 tell him I screwed up, and beg him to come back. 202 00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:57,304 It's amazing you landed a man in the first place. 203 00:08:57,305 --> 00:08:59,202 Well, what do you think I should do? 204 00:08:59,203 --> 00:09:01,268 Oh. Throw yourself at him. 205 00:09:01,269 --> 00:09:04,285 Next time he stops by, let a boob fall out of your blouse 206 00:09:04,286 --> 00:09:08,298 or maybe bend over in those tight-ass jeans. 207 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,315 That's not gonna work. 208 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,231 You're right. Sorry. 209 00:09:11,231 --> 00:09:13,210 What do I know about getting a man? 210 00:09:13,211 --> 00:09:14,264 Oh, wait. 211 00:09:14,265 --> 00:09:15,268 A lot. 212 00:09:15,269 --> 00:09:17,248 Come on. Help. 213 00:09:17,248 --> 00:09:19,208 It's not gonna be easy splitting them up. 214 00:09:19,209 --> 00:09:21,319 They just moved in together and they seem so happy. 215 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,219 Of course they're happy. They're in that honeymoon phase. 216 00:09:24,219 --> 00:09:25,319 They're still taking trips, 217 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,235 laughing at each other's jokes, 218 00:09:27,236 --> 00:09:29,264 pretending they're interested in museums. 219 00:09:29,265 --> 00:09:31,268 We had a honeymoon phase, too. 220 00:09:31,269 --> 00:09:33,273 Maybe I need to remind him of that. 221 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,315 Well, remind him naked. 222 00:09:34,316 --> 00:09:37,205 The only tricky part is gonna be getting him alone. 223 00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:39,305 Jane watches him like a hawk, 224 00:09:39,306 --> 00:09:41,285 a tall, bitchy hawk. 225 00:09:41,286 --> 00:09:43,293 Well, whatever you do, do it soon. 226 00:09:43,294 --> 00:09:45,294 I'm not gonna waste a plus one at my wedding 227 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:48,206 unless I know it's serious. 228 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:53,293 Hey. Mom? 229 00:09:53,294 --> 00:09:55,251 Andrew! 230 00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:56,272 Oh! 231 00:09:56,273 --> 00:09:59,277 It's wonderful to see you. How are you? 232 00:09:59,277 --> 00:10:01,269 I'm good. I'm good. I'm really good. 233 00:10:01,270 --> 00:10:04,243 Really? Because your sister told me you lost your job. 234 00:10:04,244 --> 00:10:06,197 I've been so worried. 235 00:10:06,198 --> 00:10:08,215 Didn't you get any of the messages I left? 236 00:10:08,215 --> 00:10:10,256 I've just been really busy. Uh, but everything's fine. 237 00:10:10,257 --> 00:10:12,201 In fact, I met someone. 238 00:10:12,202 --> 00:10:14,264 You did? That's wonderful. 239 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:17,235 I know how hard your breakup from Alex was. 240 00:10:17,236 --> 00:10:19,277 I'm so happy that you're moving on. 241 00:10:19,277 --> 00:10:21,294 Yeah, well, you know, it's only been a few months, 242 00:10:21,295 --> 00:10:24,201 but, uh, it's pretty serious. 243 00:10:24,202 --> 00:10:25,286 How serious? 244 00:10:25,286 --> 00:10:27,006 Serious enough that we were driving through town, 245 00:10:27,053 --> 00:10:28,895 and I thought the two of you should meet. 246 00:10:28,977 --> 00:10:30,305 He's here? 247 00:10:30,319 --> 00:10:32,251 Oh. 248 00:10:32,252 --> 00:10:34,215 Uh, yeah, well, I... 249 00:10:34,215 --> 00:10:37,256 I want you to keep an open mind. 250 00:10:41,286 --> 00:10:43,273 Who's this? 251 00:10:43,273 --> 00:10:44,319 This is Mary Beth, 252 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,268 my fiancee. 253 00:10:53,784 --> 00:10:55,776 I'm so glad to finally meet you. 254 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,504 I've been telling this guy 255 00:10:57,551 --> 00:11:00,522 I can't marry him until I meet his mom. 256 00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:02,841 So you're really engaged 257 00:11:02,842 --> 00:11:04,821 to... each other? 258 00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:06,780 Uh, yeah. 259 00:11:06,802 --> 00:11:09,844 Yeah, and remember, you're happy I've moved on, right? 260 00:11:09,845 --> 00:11:11,893 I just have so many questions. 261 00:11:11,894 --> 00:11:14,843 I know what you must be thinking. It's too soon. 262 00:11:14,844 --> 00:11:16,863 No, that's not what I'm thinking. 263 00:11:16,864 --> 00:11:18,813 Mom. 264 00:11:18,814 --> 00:11:20,422 I'm sorry. It's just that you're very different 265 00:11:20,431 --> 00:11:23,505 than all of the other... dates Andrew's brought home. 266 00:11:23,506 --> 00:11:27,430 Well, you know, people change. 267 00:11:27,431 --> 00:11:29,442 So how did you two meet anyway? 268 00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:30,910 Oh, it's a real cute story. 269 00:11:30,961 --> 00:11:34,007 I was at the community center for my overeaters anonymous meeting, 270 00:11:34,008 --> 00:11:36,978 but I went into the A.A. meeting by mistake. 271 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:41,275 And by "mistake," I mean I remembered how drunks love their doughnuts. 272 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,420 So as I was reaching for a buttermilk glazed, 273 00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:45,295 there was Andrew. 274 00:11:45,363 --> 00:11:46,804 You were in overeaters anonymous? 275 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,906 Yeah, I actually lost 220 pounds 276 00:11:48,906 --> 00:11:54,294 and then gained 160 pounds of grade "A" beefcake! 277 00:11:55,493 --> 00:11:56,551 Isn't she adorable? 278 00:11:56,552 --> 00:11:58,522 Uh-huh. 279 00:11:58,522 --> 00:12:00,491 Andrew, would you help me in the kitchen? 280 00:12:00,492 --> 00:12:03,546 I'd like to get some tea biscuits, and they're on a very high shelf. 281 00:12:03,547 --> 00:12:05,572 Ooh, tea biscuits. 282 00:12:05,572 --> 00:12:09,493 46 calories. 283 00:12:12,543 --> 00:12:14,571 Andrew, I do not understand. 284 00:12:14,572 --> 00:12:16,525 What is going on here? 285 00:12:16,526 --> 00:12:18,550 Look, I-I know it's not who you were expecting, 286 00:12:18,551 --> 00:12:21,551 but remember how you always said that being gay was just a phase, 287 00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:23,531 that I-I just needed to meet the right girl? 288 00:12:23,532 --> 00:12:25,543 Well, you were right. 289 00:12:25,543 --> 00:12:27,518 Just be happy for me. 290 00:12:37,497 --> 00:12:38,585 Come on. Back to bed. 291 00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:41,497 M.J., it is 2:00 in the morning. 292 00:12:41,497 --> 00:12:42,560 You should be in bed. 293 00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:45,576 You can't tell me what to do. 294 00:12:45,576 --> 00:12:47,547 What did you just say to me? 295 00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:52,513 Hey. Turn that back on! 296 00:12:52,514 --> 00:12:53,571 Mnh-mnh. 297 00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:55,493 Guys? 298 00:12:55,493 --> 00:12:56,566 What's going on in here? 299 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,547 I am trying to get M.J. back to bed. 300 00:12:58,548 --> 00:12:59,693 I can't sleep. 301 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,364 Yeah, well, blowing up aliens isn't gonna help. 302 00:13:01,544 --> 00:13:02,575 Come on. 303 00:13:02,576 --> 00:13:04,235 No, I wanna play my game. 304 00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:05,692 Turn it back on now! 305 00:13:05,768 --> 00:13:08,292 Shh. Shh. Don't get upset. 306 00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:09,435 You can finish your game. 307 00:13:11,389 --> 00:13:12,397 What? 308 00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:15,426 Just for a little while, 309 00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:18,372 then you have to go back to bed, okay? 310 00:13:18,372 --> 00:13:22,339 Mom, can I talk to you for a second? 311 00:13:25,435 --> 00:13:28,430 I think you're making a mistake. 312 00:13:28,431 --> 00:13:30,421 It's not that big a deal. 313 00:13:30,422 --> 00:13:32,371 Yes, it is. 314 00:13:32,372 --> 00:13:36,413 Look, I know what he's going through is awful, 315 00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:38,431 but this isn't helping. 316 00:13:38,431 --> 00:13:40,410 He's totally taking advantage of you. 317 00:13:40,411 --> 00:13:43,421 He's not taking advantage. 318 00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,431 He's traumatized, 319 00:13:45,431 --> 00:13:47,418 and it's killing me to see what he's going through, 320 00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:50,434 so if I can give him a little joy 321 00:13:50,435 --> 00:13:53,401 by letting him play video games, 322 00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:55,385 that's what I'm gonna do. 323 00:14:00,427 --> 00:14:03,346 So I'm looking to make in the 6-figure range, 324 00:14:03,347 --> 00:14:05,338 plus benefits, of course. 325 00:14:05,339 --> 00:14:09,385 And I have two young girls, so flexible hours would be good. 326 00:14:09,385 --> 00:14:11,372 And we always take this big vacation, 327 00:14:11,373 --> 00:14:13,414 so I'll need two weeks off. Maybe three. 328 00:14:13,414 --> 00:14:15,422 You know what? Just give me all of august. 329 00:14:17,368 --> 00:14:20,384 So what do you got for me? 330 00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:22,338 A reality check. 331 00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,743 Excuse me? 332 00:14:23,777 --> 00:14:26,758 Mrs. Solis, you're gonna have to adjust your expectations. 333 00:14:26,819 --> 00:14:28,363 Up? 334 00:14:28,364 --> 00:14:31,392 No. Have you not been reading the newspapers? 335 00:14:31,393 --> 00:14:33,401 The job market right now is brutal. 336 00:14:33,401 --> 00:14:35,422 I have people with phds that I can't find jobs for, 337 00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:40,350 and frankly, your job experience is very limited. 338 00:14:40,351 --> 00:14:42,384 Modeling, modeling, modeling. 339 00:14:42,385 --> 00:14:44,405 Okay. Okay. Okay. 340 00:14:44,406 --> 00:14:45,430 Print, 341 00:14:45,431 --> 00:14:47,338 runway, 342 00:14:47,339 --> 00:14:48,400 boat show. 343 00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:50,421 Who's the job expert here? 344 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,660 Plus, there's a 15-year gap here. 345 00:14:52,687 --> 00:14:55,767 Yeah, to be a doting wife and a loving mother of two. 346 00:14:55,832 --> 00:14:58,359 You have experience with children. 347 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,367 I have a job at a day care center. 348 00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:03,381 And deal with other people's kids? 349 00:15:03,381 --> 00:15:04,418 I don't even like my own. 350 00:15:04,419 --> 00:15:06,427 Look, you didn't go to college, 351 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,418 you didn't even graduate high school, 352 00:15:08,419 --> 00:15:11,338 and your only references are 353 00:15:11,339 --> 00:15:13,342 photographers and aging rock stars. 354 00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:16,350 In today's market, you're basically unemployable. 355 00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:20,039 And you actually get paid for this? 356 00:15:20,081 --> 00:15:21,374 So now what am I supposed to do? 357 00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:24,380 Well, you could start planning that august vacation. 358 00:15:31,194 --> 00:15:34,143 Gabrielle Solis was depressed, 359 00:15:34,144 --> 00:15:36,147 and when she was depressed, 360 00:15:36,148 --> 00:15:40,143 nothing lifted her spirits like a good workout... 361 00:15:40,144 --> 00:15:42,193 of her credit card. 362 00:15:42,340 --> 00:15:43,693 May I help you? 363 00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:45,790 Yeah, uh, I just wanna get that little red scarf 364 00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:47,836 I saw in the window. Then I'll be on my way. 365 00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:50,244 All right. 366 00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:52,306 Although that... 367 00:15:52,362 --> 00:15:54,752 black sheath dress would go perfect with it. 368 00:15:54,752 --> 00:15:55,756 Mm. 369 00:15:55,756 --> 00:15:57,832 Look at those over-the-knee boots! 370 00:15:59,777 --> 00:16:00,829 Okay. Who am I kidding? 371 00:16:00,830 --> 00:16:03,507 Get me a double cappuccino and muscular stock boy. 372 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,524 Mama needs a new pair of everything. 373 00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:15,023 I said taupe. This is clearly beige. 374 00:16:15,024 --> 00:16:16,307 We don't have it in taupe. 375 00:16:16,317 --> 00:16:18,770 Second floor, third mannequin from the left. Look alive. 376 00:16:20,087 --> 00:16:22,061 I'll try these in plum, 377 00:16:22,062 --> 00:16:24,015 these in leopard, 378 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,225 these... oh, forget it. 379 00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:28,287 No lady wants to see anything under 4 inches. 380 00:16:32,216 --> 00:16:35,216 You go with you. You go with you. 381 00:16:35,242 --> 00:16:37,288 You go away. 382 00:16:40,322 --> 00:16:43,276 No one's been able to make that romper work. 383 00:16:43,276 --> 00:16:44,326 Should we help her? 384 00:16:44,327 --> 00:16:47,292 Stay back. She knows what she's doing. 385 00:16:49,255 --> 00:16:52,251 Navy blazer, silver hoop earrings, platform wedge. 386 00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:57,301 And a red patent leather clutch. 387 00:16:59,305 --> 00:17:02,272 Genius! Genius. 388 00:17:08,247 --> 00:17:12,300 Everything looks and smells so amazing, Mrs. Van de Kamp. 389 00:17:12,301 --> 00:17:14,258 Do you mind if I take a picture? 390 00:17:14,259 --> 00:17:15,263 Of the food? 391 00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:17,247 That way I eat just a little bit now, 392 00:17:17,248 --> 00:17:18,538 and then later, when I'm hungry, 393 00:17:18,587 --> 00:17:20,577 I can look at the picture and get full on the memory. 394 00:17:21,264 --> 00:17:23,330 Don't you just wanna eat her up? 395 00:17:23,396 --> 00:17:25,182 Not before I take a picture of her. 396 00:17:26,761 --> 00:17:29,790 You know, Mary Beth, I just realized I don't know a thing about you. 397 00:17:30,233 --> 00:17:31,203 What do you do? 398 00:17:31,287 --> 00:17:32,291 Well, actually, nothing. 399 00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:34,289 My parents have been pretty generous. 400 00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:36,272 Oh, really? What, uh, sort of work are they in? 401 00:17:36,273 --> 00:17:37,606 None of your business, mom. 402 00:17:37,695 --> 00:17:38,750 No, no. It's okay. 403 00:17:38,751 --> 00:17:41,736 They invented Mary Beth's frozen custard. 404 00:17:41,737 --> 00:17:44,740 Mary Beth? You're that Mary Beth? 405 00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:47,410 Recognize me? The kid on the carton? 406 00:17:48,146 --> 00:17:50,647 It's in every supermarket in the country. 407 00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:53,662 It must be a multibillion dollar... 408 00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:57,612 Oh. 409 00:18:00,683 --> 00:18:02,679 Would you help me in the kitchen, Andrew? 410 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,621 Now. 411 00:18:07,124 --> 00:18:09,191 Andrew, I knew you were having financial troubles, 412 00:18:09,192 --> 00:18:11,194 but I never thought you'd stoop to this. 413 00:18:11,195 --> 00:18:13,179 - What? - She's an heiress. 414 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,162 You're obviously marrying her for her money. 415 00:18:15,163 --> 00:18:17,203 I'm marrying her because I'm crazy about her. 416 00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:20,136 We love the same movies. She makes me laugh. 417 00:18:20,137 --> 00:18:23,111 She gets me. She's really an amazing girl. 418 00:18:23,112 --> 00:18:25,132 I think I found your good side! 419 00:18:25,133 --> 00:18:27,141 Smile, gnocchi. 420 00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:28,200 She's disturbed. 421 00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:31,128 Okay. All right. She's a little eccentric, 422 00:18:31,129 --> 00:18:33,207 but you know what? I love her. 423 00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:37,111 Andrew Van de Kamp, you love Italian shoes. 424 00:18:37,112 --> 00:18:39,124 You love mid-century modern furniture. 425 00:18:39,124 --> 00:18:41,170 And according to your Internet history, you love... 426 00:18:41,171 --> 00:18:45,115 army doctors giving elaborate physicals to young recruits. 427 00:18:45,116 --> 00:18:47,158 But you do not love girls. 428 00:18:47,158 --> 00:18:49,131 Why can't you accept that I've changed? 429 00:18:49,132 --> 00:18:51,127 Because homosexuality is not a choice. 430 00:18:51,128 --> 00:18:52,172 You were born this way. 431 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,152 I'm the one who told you that. 432 00:18:54,153 --> 00:18:55,200 And it took me a long time, 433 00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:58,149 but I was finally able to wrap my head around it. 434 00:18:58,150 --> 00:19:02,128 Honey, you're here, you're queer, and I'm used to it. 435 00:19:02,129 --> 00:19:05,186 You know what, mom? I'm not here anymore, all right? 436 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:08,161 Mary Beth, let's go. 437 00:19:08,162 --> 00:19:10,124 Hey. 438 00:19:10,124 --> 00:19:11,141 How was your dad's? 439 00:19:11,142 --> 00:19:12,144 Fine. 440 00:19:12,145 --> 00:19:13,149 Aw! 441 00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:15,136 She was in a bit of a mood, 442 00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:17,733 but I still love you unconditionally. 443 00:19:17,802 --> 00:19:19,160 Let me guess... did it have something to do 444 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:23,124 with a certain Taylor Swift concert this Thursday night? 445 00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:24,181 I'm just saying, 446 00:19:24,182 --> 00:19:26,177 all my friends' moms are taking them. 447 00:19:26,178 --> 00:19:28,208 And all your friends' moms are gonna be deaf for two weeks, 448 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,824 like I was the last time I went to a concert. 449 00:19:30,911 --> 00:19:31,911 I'm not doing it. 450 00:19:31,912 --> 00:19:32,948 It's not fair. 451 00:19:32,949 --> 00:19:34,973 I am gonna go give Paige a bath. 452 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,931 Thank you for bringing her home. 453 00:19:36,932 --> 00:19:40,919 I'm gonna go grab your suitcase. 454 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:41,952 Mom! 455 00:19:41,953 --> 00:19:43,931 Please! 456 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,906 It'd make you the bestest mom in the whole wide world! 457 00:19:46,907 --> 00:19:48,956 Nope. The matter is closed. 458 00:19:48,957 --> 00:19:50,969 This sucks. 459 00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:52,965 Hey. 460 00:19:52,966 --> 00:19:55,969 You know who else likes Taylor Swift? 461 00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,920 Me. 462 00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,970 I mean, if your parents are okay with it, I'll take you. 463 00:19:59,971 --> 00:20:01,952 Oh, my God! 464 00:20:01,953 --> 00:20:03,915 Oh! 465 00:20:03,916 --> 00:20:06,944 You're the best! I'll check with my mom and call you? 466 00:20:06,945 --> 00:20:07,966 Can't wait. 467 00:20:07,966 --> 00:20:10,899 Okay! 468 00:20:11,995 --> 00:20:13,977 So? 469 00:20:13,978 --> 00:20:16,981 Totally worked. 470 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,994 You'll have dad all to yourself Thursday night. 471 00:20:19,506 --> 00:20:22,501 You are the bestest girl in the whole wide world. 472 00:20:36,992 --> 00:20:38,984 Gaby! 473 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,945 Hi, babe. 474 00:20:50,222 --> 00:20:51,275 What is that? 475 00:20:51,276 --> 00:20:53,275 This? 476 00:20:53,276 --> 00:20:54,360 It's a boot. 477 00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:55,396 I bought a boot. 478 00:20:55,427 --> 00:20:57,425 You bought... one boot? 479 00:20:57,426 --> 00:20:59,434 Yep. 'Cause I'm frugal. 480 00:20:59,435 --> 00:21:01,442 One day I'll buy the other one. 481 00:21:01,443 --> 00:21:03,414 That's all you bought? 482 00:21:03,414 --> 00:21:05,385 Because I got a call from the bank. 483 00:21:05,386 --> 00:21:09,425 Seems somebody was going crazy with your credit card. 484 00:21:09,426 --> 00:21:11,429 Huh. Maybe it was stolen. 485 00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:13,371 Yeah. 486 00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:16,421 By a size 0 with incredibly expensive taste. 487 00:21:16,422 --> 00:21:19,413 What is this shopping bag doing under the bed? 488 00:21:19,414 --> 00:21:21,442 I bought a gift for a woman 489 00:21:21,443 --> 00:21:25,421 whose husband is in Iraq, fighting for our freedom. 490 00:21:25,422 --> 00:21:28,421 Gaby! You're taking it all back. 491 00:21:28,422 --> 00:21:30,401 I can't. 492 00:21:31,525 --> 00:21:33,550 Not if I've worn it. 493 00:21:34,514 --> 00:21:36,727 Can't take it back. Can't take it back now. 494 00:21:36,772 --> 00:21:37,777 See? It's all... 495 00:21:37,778 --> 00:21:39,792 Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop! 496 00:21:39,793 --> 00:21:42,798 Our lives have changed. We can't afford this anymore. 497 00:21:42,798 --> 00:21:45,827 Not unless you got some big job you haven't told me about. 498 00:21:49,823 --> 00:21:51,813 What's wrong? 499 00:21:51,814 --> 00:21:54,784 I met with that job lady. 500 00:21:54,785 --> 00:21:57,793 But she basically said I'm not qualified to do anything. 501 00:21:57,793 --> 00:21:59,789 I didn't finish school. I've never had a real job. 502 00:21:59,790 --> 00:22:02,764 The only thing I've ever gotten paid for is being pretty. 503 00:22:02,764 --> 00:22:03,821 I just feel like my life 504 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,798 has been one bad decision after another. 505 00:22:05,799 --> 00:22:10,818 Uh... what about the girls? 506 00:22:10,819 --> 00:22:12,792 What about marrying me? 507 00:22:12,793 --> 00:22:14,818 That's the part that hurts the most. 508 00:22:14,819 --> 00:22:17,730 You guys are the only good thing I've ever done, 509 00:22:17,731 --> 00:22:20,792 and I feel like I'm letting you down. 510 00:22:20,793 --> 00:22:23,751 Gaby... 511 00:22:23,752 --> 00:22:25,780 you are smart. 512 00:22:25,781 --> 00:22:27,826 You'll figure something out, 513 00:22:27,827 --> 00:22:29,784 something great. 514 00:22:29,785 --> 00:22:31,792 But in the meantime, 515 00:22:31,793 --> 00:22:35,755 all these clothes 516 00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:37,734 have to go back. 517 00:22:37,735 --> 00:22:38,764 I know. 518 00:22:38,764 --> 00:22:41,785 Could you just give us a moment alone? 519 00:22:47,781 --> 00:22:49,760 Hello? 520 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,785 Yes, this is his mother. 521 00:22:52,806 --> 00:22:54,780 He did what? 522 00:22:54,781 --> 00:22:56,788 He threw a stapler at you? 523 00:22:56,789 --> 00:22:58,798 Yes, right at my head. 524 00:22:58,798 --> 00:23:00,789 Are you sure it wasn't an accident? 525 00:23:00,790 --> 00:23:03,776 He couldn't have been aiming at your head. 526 00:23:03,777 --> 00:23:04,939 What he said was... 527 00:23:05,006 --> 00:23:07,800 and I wrote this down because I wanted to be exact... 528 00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:08,886 "Leave me alone, 529 00:23:08,904 --> 00:23:11,894 or I'm going to throw this stapler at your head." 530 00:23:12,109 --> 00:23:14,112 I-I'm so sorry. 531 00:23:14,113 --> 00:23:16,566 You do know that M.J. just lost his father, right? 532 00:23:16,621 --> 00:23:19,634 I do. My heart goes out to both of you. 533 00:23:19,634 --> 00:23:21,671 But there is no place for violence in my classroom, 534 00:23:21,672 --> 00:23:24,629 no matter what the circumstances are at home. 535 00:23:24,630 --> 00:23:26,316 "Circumstances"? 536 00:23:26,358 --> 00:23:27,432 Um... 537 00:23:28,209 --> 00:23:32,079 I mean, it's not like he just lost his favorite toy 538 00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:34,117 or a pet turtle. 539 00:23:34,118 --> 00:23:36,142 He... lost his dad. 540 00:23:36,143 --> 00:23:39,110 Yes, but if M.J. had thrown that stapler a little harder, 541 00:23:39,110 --> 00:23:42,060 my grandkids might have lost their grandmother. 542 00:23:43,102 --> 00:23:45,113 Well, I'm sure that he is sorry. 543 00:23:45,114 --> 00:23:48,117 He isn't. In fact, he said... and I quote... 544 00:23:48,118 --> 00:23:50,072 "Bull's-eye." 545 00:23:50,072 --> 00:23:52,118 I'm considering having him removed from my class. 546 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,117 Okay. Uh... 547 00:23:55,118 --> 00:23:58,080 What M.J. did was wrong, 548 00:23:58,081 --> 00:24:01,113 but... I'm finding it hard to believe 549 00:24:01,114 --> 00:24:04,142 that a person that spends so much time with children 550 00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:07,609 could be so oblivious to a child's pain. 551 00:24:07,658 --> 00:24:10,636 I have 20 other children I need to protect. 552 00:24:10,637 --> 00:24:13,632 And M.J. is a very angry little boy. 553 00:24:13,633 --> 00:24:16,074 Well, of course he's angry. 554 00:24:16,149 --> 00:24:18,085 He's 9, 555 00:24:18,086 --> 00:24:22,085 and one of the most important and loving people 556 00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:24,169 in his life has just been ripped away from him, 557 00:24:24,170 --> 00:24:27,152 and now he has to live with the fact 558 00:24:27,153 --> 00:24:30,032 that his father is never coming back. 559 00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:31,066 Inside voices, please. 560 00:24:31,067 --> 00:24:33,047 Oh, to hell with your "inside voices." 561 00:24:33,048 --> 00:24:35,064 His father is dead. 562 00:24:35,064 --> 00:24:38,047 My husband is dead! 563 00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:42,052 Oh! My foot. 564 00:24:48,043 --> 00:24:51,043 It's her. 565 00:24:55,902 --> 00:24:58,481 Why is everyone looking at me? Did I do something wrong? 566 00:24:58,539 --> 00:25:00,523 No. No, in fact, we have done nothing 567 00:25:00,524 --> 00:25:03,584 but talk about your shopping skills for the last 24 hours. 568 00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,523 Really? 569 00:25:05,523 --> 00:25:06,588 Yes. We even went back 570 00:25:06,589 --> 00:25:08,573 and watched the security tape to see it again. 571 00:25:08,574 --> 00:25:11,513 Well, keep the tape. It was my last show. 572 00:25:11,514 --> 00:25:13,563 - What? - Uh, circumstances have changed. 573 00:25:13,564 --> 00:25:16,552 My shopping days are over. So just do me a favor. 574 00:25:16,552 --> 00:25:18,535 Wait till I'm gone to restock the boots. 575 00:25:18,536 --> 00:25:20,560 I can't cry again today. 576 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:21,569 Uh, wait. Wait. 577 00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:24,547 Um, take care of these for Mrs. Solis 578 00:25:24,548 --> 00:25:27,568 and bring her a glass of champagne. 579 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,501 - Champagne? - Mm-hmm. 580 00:25:29,502 --> 00:25:31,002 Did you not hear me? I'm broke. 581 00:25:31,076 --> 00:25:32,489 You have no reason to suck up to me anymore. 582 00:25:32,565 --> 00:25:35,551 Well, I do if I want you to work here. 583 00:25:35,552 --> 00:25:37,509 Huh? 584 00:25:37,510 --> 00:25:40,518 You see, you're like a... a shopping savant, 585 00:25:40,519 --> 00:25:42,513 and every day, women come in here 586 00:25:42,514 --> 00:25:45,531 with all the money in the world and no clue what to spend it on. 587 00:25:46,162 --> 00:25:47,183 You could help them. 588 00:25:47,184 --> 00:25:49,194 You mean like a personal shopper job? 589 00:25:49,195 --> 00:25:51,190 No, do not think of it as a job. 590 00:25:51,191 --> 00:25:53,194 For you, my dear, it is a calling. 591 00:25:53,195 --> 00:25:55,215 I don't know. 592 00:25:55,216 --> 00:25:57,186 Employees get a 40% discount. 593 00:25:57,187 --> 00:25:59,178 Hi. Welcome to Cumberly's. 594 00:25:59,179 --> 00:26:02,161 My name's Gabrielle. Can I help you? 595 00:26:12,847 --> 00:26:16,367 I want to thank you for accepting my apology 596 00:26:16,426 --> 00:26:18,488 and coming over before you left town. 597 00:26:18,488 --> 00:26:20,497 I feel like I haven't had the appropriate reaction 598 00:26:20,498 --> 00:26:22,425 to this wedding. 599 00:26:22,426 --> 00:26:24,475 No. No, no, you've been wonderful. 600 00:26:24,871 --> 00:26:25,895 Well, 601 00:26:25,896 --> 00:26:28,882 to show you how excited I am 602 00:26:28,883 --> 00:26:30,896 that my little boy is getting married, 603 00:26:30,896 --> 00:26:34,808 I've thrown you a surprise engagement party. 604 00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:46,825 Mom, what the hell is this? 605 00:26:46,825 --> 00:26:48,806 Oh, I just invited some of your old friends over 606 00:26:48,807 --> 00:26:49,892 to congratulate you. 607 00:26:49,893 --> 00:26:52,812 Hey, girl. I haven't seen you in ages. 608 00:26:52,812 --> 00:26:54,808 Those shoes are ferosh. 609 00:26:56,896 --> 00:26:58,816 Who's this hag? 610 00:26:58,817 --> 00:27:02,857 This is Andrew's fiancee Mary Beth. 611 00:27:02,858 --> 00:27:04,895 Hi, Mary Beth. I'm Brian with an "I." 612 00:27:04,896 --> 00:27:07,870 This is Bryan with a "y." 613 00:27:07,871 --> 00:27:10,808 What is this about you getting married? We need to dish. 614 00:27:10,808 --> 00:27:11,896 Um, uh, sweetie, why don't... 615 00:27:11,897 --> 00:27:14,896 why don't you go in the kitchen and grab a drink? 616 00:27:17,842 --> 00:27:19,832 I just love those boys. 617 00:27:19,833 --> 00:27:22,849 They used to be here all the time. 618 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,811 So what did you think of Andrew's friends? 619 00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:28,811 They seem sweet and very well-groomed. 620 00:27:28,812 --> 00:27:31,816 Well, yeah, but don't they seem, 621 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:34,845 I don't know, a little... disco-y? 622 00:27:34,846 --> 00:27:37,811 Mrs. Van de Kamp, I know Andrew's gay. 623 00:27:37,812 --> 00:27:39,108 You do? 624 00:27:39,183 --> 00:27:40,850 We've never actually made love, 625 00:27:40,876 --> 00:27:44,799 and he has a picture of Michael Phelps next to his bed. 626 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,891 Says it's patriotic, but... 627 00:27:46,892 --> 00:27:49,891 I don't understand. If you know about him... 628 00:27:49,892 --> 00:27:51,895 you have to understand, 629 00:27:51,896 --> 00:27:53,895 I grew up fat and lonely. 630 00:27:53,896 --> 00:27:55,861 When I lost all the weight, 631 00:27:55,862 --> 00:27:59,874 I thought men would look at me differently, but they didn't. 632 00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:01,882 I just kind of gave up. 633 00:28:01,883 --> 00:28:04,807 Oh, Mary Beth. 634 00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:06,895 But then I met Andrew. He's sweet, fun, 635 00:28:06,896 --> 00:28:09,811 and I just thought... 636 00:28:09,812 --> 00:28:11,811 I could do a lot worse. 637 00:28:11,812 --> 00:28:14,878 No. No. No. Now you listen to me. 638 00:28:14,879 --> 00:28:18,857 You deserve real romance and passion in your life. 639 00:28:18,858 --> 00:28:20,799 I know all about this. 640 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,849 I have been with plenty of men for companionship 641 00:28:22,850 --> 00:28:24,861 when it should've been for love. 642 00:28:24,862 --> 00:28:27,820 The right man for you is out there somewhere. 643 00:28:27,821 --> 00:28:29,833 You just can't settle. 644 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:31,892 It's not fair to you or to Andrew. 645 00:28:47,846 --> 00:28:49,854 I think we need to talk. 646 00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,838 All right. 647 00:28:56,896 --> 00:28:58,866 Coming! 648 00:28:58,867 --> 00:29:01,807 Coming! Coming! 649 00:29:01,808 --> 00:29:02,829 Okay. 650 00:29:02,829 --> 00:29:04,812 Oh, no. 651 00:29:08,631 --> 00:29:09,660 Hey. 652 00:29:09,661 --> 00:29:12,252 Hey. I-I came as soon as I got your message. 653 00:29:12,296 --> 00:29:13,350 So power's out, huh? 654 00:29:13,351 --> 00:29:14,979 I know. This is so embarrassing. 655 00:29:14,982 --> 00:29:16,988 I just got off the phone with the electric company, 656 00:29:17,066 --> 00:29:19,173 and it turns out it's a faulty line, 657 00:29:19,267 --> 00:29:21,315 so they're gonna fix it first thing tomorrow morning. 658 00:29:21,316 --> 00:29:23,267 So you don't need me to look at anything or... 659 00:29:23,268 --> 00:29:25,279 I'm sorry. I feel terrible dragging you 660 00:29:25,279 --> 00:29:26,325 all the way over here, 661 00:29:26,326 --> 00:29:29,279 so you want something for your trouble? A drink or... 662 00:29:29,279 --> 00:29:31,277 Nah. No. No. I don't... I don't want to be in your hair. 663 00:29:31,278 --> 00:29:32,342 No, no. You're not. 664 00:29:32,343 --> 00:29:34,291 Honestly, it's a little scary 665 00:29:34,292 --> 00:29:37,333 being all alone in a dark house. 666 00:29:37,334 --> 00:29:39,362 Hence the hundreds of candles. 667 00:29:39,363 --> 00:29:42,354 Yeah, I did go a little overboard, huh? 668 00:29:42,355 --> 00:29:44,358 What are you cooking? 669 00:29:44,359 --> 00:29:47,278 It smells amazing in here. 670 00:29:47,279 --> 00:29:49,354 Yeah? I'm trying out a new recipe for the kids. 671 00:29:49,355 --> 00:29:51,274 Beef Bourguignonne. 672 00:29:51,275 --> 00:29:53,266 But penny's with Jane 673 00:29:53,267 --> 00:29:55,341 and Parker's having pizza with the martindales. 674 00:29:55,342 --> 00:29:57,341 I love Beef Bourguignonne. 675 00:29:57,342 --> 00:30:00,354 Oh, that's right. I totally forgot. 676 00:30:00,355 --> 00:30:02,362 Y-you remember the first time we tried it? 677 00:30:02,363 --> 00:30:05,328 New York. Our second anniversary. 678 00:30:05,329 --> 00:30:08,287 Oh, that must be where I got the idea. 679 00:30:08,288 --> 00:30:11,274 I was just looking at pictures from that trip. 680 00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:13,274 Oh, yeah? You... you got out the old photo album? 681 00:30:13,275 --> 00:30:14,287 Yeah. 682 00:30:14,288 --> 00:30:16,320 Oh, ho ho. Man! 683 00:30:16,321 --> 00:30:18,337 Look at us. 684 00:30:18,338 --> 00:30:21,329 Hey. 685 00:30:21,329 --> 00:30:23,359 Why don't you stay for dinner? I'll make you a plate. 686 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,266 Yeah, I don't know. 687 00:30:26,267 --> 00:30:28,300 Come on. Jane's at the concert. 688 00:30:28,300 --> 00:30:29,346 What would you rather do... 689 00:30:29,347 --> 00:30:32,278 eat a microwave dinner all alone in your apartment 690 00:30:32,279 --> 00:30:34,292 or... 691 00:30:34,292 --> 00:30:35,321 Beef Bourguignonne? 692 00:30:35,322 --> 00:30:37,329 Well... 693 00:30:37,329 --> 00:30:39,359 I hate for it to go to waste. 694 00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:50,328 Well, I hope you're happy. 695 00:30:50,329 --> 00:30:52,878 Mary Beth is on her way back to Wisconsin. 696 00:30:52,947 --> 00:30:53,963 I'm sorry. 697 00:30:53,964 --> 00:30:55,984 Why are you so concerned about her life? 698 00:30:55,985 --> 00:30:57,976 What about me?! I'm your son. 699 00:30:57,977 --> 00:31:00,935 I did this for you. Can you look me in the eye 700 00:31:00,935 --> 00:31:02,004 and tell me you would've been happy 701 00:31:02,005 --> 00:31:03,985 spending the rest of your life with that woman? 702 00:31:03,986 --> 00:31:07,026 That marriage really could have helped me out, 703 00:31:07,027 --> 00:31:09,967 and you have no idea how much help I need. 704 00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:11,946 Why? What is going on? 705 00:31:11,947 --> 00:31:14,980 Where do I start? Um... 706 00:31:14,981 --> 00:31:18,026 Well, I took a loss on the house that you got me, 707 00:31:18,027 --> 00:31:21,005 I, uh, I lost my job, 708 00:31:21,006 --> 00:31:23,009 can't find a new one. 709 00:31:23,010 --> 00:31:25,972 I have a ton of credit card debt, 710 00:31:25,973 --> 00:31:29,013 and Mary Beth was willing to help me out with all of that. 711 00:31:29,014 --> 00:31:32,027 Well, so would I. Why didn't you come to me for help? 712 00:31:32,027 --> 00:31:34,027 Do you know what it feels like to have to keep running back 713 00:31:34,028 --> 00:31:37,013 to your mother to fix your problems? 714 00:31:37,014 --> 00:31:39,976 My whole life, you've been propping me up... 715 00:31:39,977 --> 00:31:43,967 when I needed a job, when I was dumped, when I was drinking. 716 00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:45,959 I'm just... I'm so tired 717 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,997 of you seeing me as a failure. 718 00:31:48,997 --> 00:31:50,981 Andrew, if you would go through all of this 719 00:31:50,982 --> 00:31:52,985 rather than come to me for help, 720 00:31:52,985 --> 00:31:56,935 then I am the one who's failed. 721 00:31:59,014 --> 00:32:01,977 How about we just agree that we both failed? 722 00:32:05,939 --> 00:32:06,964 So what are you gonna do now? 723 00:32:06,965 --> 00:32:09,972 I don't know. I had a pretty good setup there... 724 00:32:09,973 --> 00:32:12,955 a place to live, somebody who needed me, 725 00:32:12,956 --> 00:32:14,959 all the frozen custard I could eat. 726 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,946 Well, I don't have any custard, 727 00:32:16,947 --> 00:32:19,006 but I can offer you a place to stay, 728 00:32:19,006 --> 00:32:23,031 and... someone else who needs you. 729 00:32:24,964 --> 00:32:27,939 All right. 730 00:32:27,939 --> 00:32:30,010 But just until I get back on my feet again. 731 00:32:34,939 --> 00:32:37,967 Now let's talk about that party. 732 00:32:37,968 --> 00:32:42,026 I could swear I saw Bryan with a "y" checking you out. 733 00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:44,026 Ah, well, actually, 734 00:32:44,027 --> 00:32:46,985 I am more into Geoffrey with a "g." 735 00:32:46,985 --> 00:32:50,027 Now that's my gay son. 736 00:32:52,939 --> 00:32:54,939 God, look at all the stuff we're doing. 737 00:32:55,242 --> 00:32:56,313 We used to be interesting. 738 00:32:56,314 --> 00:32:59,320 I know. We... we hiked. We went to the theater. 739 00:32:59,321 --> 00:33:02,325 We... we took salsa lessons. 740 00:33:02,326 --> 00:33:05,284 And then came the kids. 741 00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:07,292 Ah, fun killers. Huh. 742 00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:12,295 Mmm. This is amazing. 743 00:33:12,296 --> 00:33:15,249 It's even better than that restaurant in new York. 744 00:33:15,250 --> 00:33:17,304 I don't know. That place was pretty good. 745 00:33:17,305 --> 00:33:19,254 How did we even find it? 746 00:33:19,255 --> 00:33:21,245 - You don't remember? - Mnh-mnh. 747 00:33:21,246 --> 00:33:23,312 We got caught in that torrential downpour. 748 00:33:23,313 --> 00:33:25,329 We ducked in there to dry off. 749 00:33:25,330 --> 00:33:28,271 Right. And then the owner insisted 750 00:33:28,271 --> 00:33:29,334 on making us a special meal 751 00:33:29,335 --> 00:33:32,326 because we had that newlywed look. 752 00:33:36,267 --> 00:33:38,334 A lot of water under that bridge, huh? 753 00:33:38,334 --> 00:33:42,259 Yeah, but it was a pretty strong bridge. 754 00:33:45,238 --> 00:33:49,246 Look how young we were. 755 00:33:49,246 --> 00:33:50,250 Yeah. 756 00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:55,329 Back then I could actually see without my reading glasses. 757 00:33:55,330 --> 00:33:58,267 Here you go. Best I can do for light. 758 00:33:58,267 --> 00:34:01,242 Thank you. 759 00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:05,262 Oh. 760 00:34:05,263 --> 00:34:06,320 Ha ha ha. 761 00:34:06,321 --> 00:34:08,333 I'm glad you kept these. 762 00:34:08,334 --> 00:34:13,241 Good memories, huh? 763 00:34:13,242 --> 00:34:14,270 Yeah. 764 00:34:14,271 --> 00:34:18,245 You know, sometimes you just get... 765 00:34:18,246 --> 00:34:21,325 overwhelmed by work and... 766 00:34:21,326 --> 00:34:24,313 kids and life, and it's just... 767 00:34:24,313 --> 00:34:27,238 so easy to... 768 00:34:28,334 --> 00:34:30,270 forget. 769 00:34:30,271 --> 00:34:32,334 Yeah. 770 00:34:32,334 --> 00:34:36,334 Yeah, it is. 771 00:34:37,334 --> 00:34:39,237 I'm on fire. 772 00:34:39,238 --> 00:34:41,258 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! I'm on fire! 773 00:34:41,259 --> 00:34:43,270 Oh! Oh, my God! Oh! 774 00:34:43,271 --> 00:34:44,304 Ah! 775 00:34:44,305 --> 00:34:46,237 Uh... 776 00:34:46,238 --> 00:34:47,320 Oh. 777 00:34:47,321 --> 00:34:49,241 Are you okay? 778 00:34:49,242 --> 00:34:51,242 I think I burnt the skin. 779 00:34:51,242 --> 00:34:53,330 Oh, jeez. Let me see. 780 00:34:56,334 --> 00:34:59,283 Oh, it doesn't look so bad. 781 00:34:59,284 --> 00:35:02,304 I thought the power was out. 782 00:35:02,305 --> 00:35:05,312 They must have... Fixed it. 783 00:35:05,313 --> 00:35:07,258 You set this up. 784 00:35:07,259 --> 00:35:09,242 You know, in... in my defense, I... 785 00:35:09,242 --> 00:35:10,250 What the hell is going on? 786 00:35:10,251 --> 00:35:12,266 I just wanted to see where we stood, 787 00:35:12,267 --> 00:35:14,266 if there was still anything between us, 788 00:35:14,267 --> 00:35:18,271 if we could find our way back to those people in the pictures. 789 00:35:18,271 --> 00:35:19,330 By tricking me? 790 00:35:19,331 --> 00:35:22,254 I'm... I'm sorry about how I did it, 791 00:35:22,255 --> 00:35:25,258 but you can't deny what just happened. 792 00:35:25,259 --> 00:35:27,283 You still feel something. 793 00:35:27,284 --> 00:35:31,263 Jane just moved in with me, 794 00:35:31,263 --> 00:35:34,284 and you do this now? 795 00:35:49,328 --> 00:35:50,231 Hey, mom. 796 00:35:50,322 --> 00:35:52,434 Hey. How was the concert? 797 00:35:52,509 --> 00:35:53,534 Awesome. 798 00:35:53,534 --> 00:35:54,550 How'd it go with dad? 799 00:35:54,551 --> 00:35:56,566 Not so awesome. 800 00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:59,509 Yeah, I kinda got that from the sweatpants. 801 00:35:59,509 --> 00:36:01,496 Mm. Come here, you. 802 00:36:02,513 --> 00:36:03,520 Hi. 803 00:36:03,521 --> 00:36:07,491 Mm. Hi. 804 00:36:07,492 --> 00:36:08,583 So now what? 805 00:36:08,584 --> 00:36:11,576 I... don't know. 806 00:36:11,576 --> 00:36:14,980 - Well, I'll tell you what you can't do. - Mm? 807 00:36:15,018 --> 00:36:16,324 Give up. 808 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:19,533 Taylor Swift has this song... 809 00:36:19,534 --> 00:36:21,541 Mm. Mm-hmm. 810 00:36:21,542 --> 00:36:23,550 "You belong with me." It's... 811 00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:25,546 about how she won't stop loving this guy 812 00:36:25,547 --> 00:36:28,512 even though he's with the wrong girl. 813 00:36:28,513 --> 00:36:31,525 And when she sang it tonight, 814 00:36:31,526 --> 00:36:33,533 all I could think about was you and dad. 815 00:36:33,534 --> 00:36:36,570 And this guy she loves... 816 00:36:36,571 --> 00:36:39,492 does he eventually come to his senses? 817 00:36:39,492 --> 00:36:42,567 It wouldn't be a very good video if he didn't. 818 00:36:44,534 --> 00:36:46,495 And don't worry. 819 00:36:46,496 --> 00:36:47,525 Dad will, too. 820 00:36:47,526 --> 00:36:50,516 You think? 821 00:36:50,517 --> 00:36:53,546 Mom, you're fighting for him. 822 00:36:53,546 --> 00:36:55,550 What guy doesn't like that? 823 00:36:56,580 --> 00:36:59,555 You know... 824 00:36:59,555 --> 00:37:01,542 when you say something really smart like that, 825 00:37:01,543 --> 00:37:04,546 it makes me think I did a really good job. 826 00:37:07,555 --> 00:37:10,516 You think it's gonna blister? 827 00:37:10,517 --> 00:37:12,517 It's a first-degree burn. 828 00:37:12,517 --> 00:37:13,580 Tom, you'll be fine. 829 00:37:13,581 --> 00:37:15,554 But as your physician, 830 00:37:15,555 --> 00:37:19,521 let me recommend... no more candlelit baths alone. 831 00:37:19,521 --> 00:37:21,511 Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. 832 00:37:21,512 --> 00:37:23,550 Well, the good news is I can declare you healthy enough 833 00:37:23,551 --> 00:37:27,521 for any and all sexual activity. 834 00:37:30,513 --> 00:37:32,570 Actually... 835 00:37:32,571 --> 00:37:34,583 I need to get some work done. 836 00:37:34,584 --> 00:37:37,525 Oh. 837 00:37:37,526 --> 00:37:38,549 Okay. 838 00:37:38,550 --> 00:37:40,571 Well, the nice thing about us living together... 839 00:37:40,571 --> 00:37:44,534 if you change your mind, you know where to find me. 840 00:37:51,550 --> 00:37:53,512 Okay. 841 00:37:53,513 --> 00:37:55,549 That's the last of them. 842 00:37:55,711 --> 00:37:56,728 Okay. 843 00:37:56,728 --> 00:38:00,674 Actually, we're not done here. 844 00:38:01,682 --> 00:38:03,744 I want to talk to you. 845 00:38:03,745 --> 00:38:06,674 Is this about what happened at school? 846 00:38:06,674 --> 00:38:08,653 Yes. 847 00:38:11,724 --> 00:38:15,724 You need to know that it is never okay to throw a stapler at someone. 848 00:38:15,725 --> 00:38:17,710 I know. 849 00:38:17,711 --> 00:38:19,702 It's also never okay 850 00:38:19,703 --> 00:38:21,740 to sweep a bunch of stuff off someone's desk 851 00:38:21,741 --> 00:38:26,694 because you don't like what they're saying about your son. 852 00:38:26,695 --> 00:38:29,702 Particularly if they've just had bunion surgery. 853 00:38:29,703 --> 00:38:31,710 You did that to Mrs. Butters? 854 00:38:31,711 --> 00:38:33,745 I'm not proud of it, but yeah. 855 00:38:33,745 --> 00:38:36,707 I was really mad. 856 00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:39,727 Just like you. 857 00:38:39,728 --> 00:38:46,706 M.J., something horrible happened to you, 858 00:38:46,707 --> 00:38:50,731 and every time you started to get angry about it, 859 00:38:50,732 --> 00:38:56,686 I wanted to cover it up with ice cream or video games, 860 00:38:56,687 --> 00:39:01,649 but the truth is, we shouldn't cover it up. 861 00:39:01,649 --> 00:39:03,666 We should let it out. 862 00:39:05,724 --> 00:39:09,703 Now we can't hurt people... 863 00:39:10,724 --> 00:39:13,707 But we can... 864 00:39:13,707 --> 00:39:16,691 hurt jam. 865 00:39:18,703 --> 00:39:20,678 Ah. 866 00:39:24,653 --> 00:39:25,706 Mom! 867 00:39:25,707 --> 00:39:28,731 People sent us this to help us feel better, 868 00:39:28,732 --> 00:39:31,657 and it's going to, 869 00:39:31,657 --> 00:39:33,208 just not in the way they thought. 870 00:39:36,703 --> 00:39:39,703 Come on, buddy. 871 00:39:39,703 --> 00:39:41,724 You got a lot to be angry about. 872 00:39:43,703 --> 00:39:46,732 What happened... sucks. 873 00:40:13,716 --> 00:40:15,716 Oh, sweetie. 874 00:40:17,741 --> 00:40:19,690 I love you. 875 00:40:19,691 --> 00:40:21,716 I love you. 876 00:40:21,716 --> 00:40:25,649 I love you so much. 877 00:40:26,745 --> 00:40:29,657 That's a cake I made for a wedding a few years ago. 878 00:40:29,657 --> 00:40:30,699 I know what you're gonna say. 879 00:40:30,700 --> 00:40:32,719 - It's too extravagant. - It's not big enough. 880 00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:35,736 Oh. Well, I suppose we could add another tier. 881 00:40:35,737 --> 00:40:37,710 Make it two. 882 00:40:37,711 --> 00:40:41,694 I really appreciate this, Bree. 883 00:40:41,695 --> 00:40:43,716 Ben is such a guy. 884 00:40:43,716 --> 00:40:45,718 He's not gonna be any help planning this wedding. 885 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:47,703 Yes, especially since he's dealing 886 00:40:47,704 --> 00:40:50,681 with the nasty business of the body. 887 00:40:50,682 --> 00:40:52,736 Oh, that? No, Ben's in the clear. 888 00:40:52,737 --> 00:40:54,660 Really? 889 00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,669 Yeah, the cops called this morning. 890 00:40:56,670 --> 00:40:58,710 Uh, they figured out the guy they found 891 00:40:58,711 --> 00:41:00,703 died eight months ago. 892 00:41:00,703 --> 00:41:02,678 That was way before Ben started construction. 893 00:41:02,679 --> 00:41:03,710 Oh. 894 00:41:03,711 --> 00:41:06,687 Yeah, the cops think the guy was just some poor drifter. 895 00:41:06,687 --> 00:41:07,722 Anyway, it's over. 896 00:41:07,723 --> 00:41:08,714 Oh, good. 897 00:41:08,715 --> 00:41:10,711 Well, now we can focus all our energy 898 00:41:10,712 --> 00:41:13,724 on giving you the best wedding in the world. 899 00:41:13,724 --> 00:41:16,745 Tomorrow we'll start our planning. 900 00:41:18,377 --> 00:41:22,122 Yes, in life, 901 00:41:22,194 --> 00:41:27,214 when we see an opportunity, we have to take it, 902 00:41:27,691 --> 00:41:30,715 whether it's the hope 903 00:41:30,791 --> 00:41:33,382 of winning back the love of our life... 904 00:41:33,456 --> 00:41:38,465 a shot at proving our worth... 905 00:41:40,661 --> 00:41:45,737 or the chance to show a child the right path. 906 00:41:50,732 --> 00:41:53,715 But sometimes when we answer the call... 907 00:41:54,321 --> 00:41:55,336 Hello? 908 00:41:55,363 --> 00:41:56,621 Hi. It's Bree. 909 00:41:56,623 --> 00:42:00,651 we have no idea what opportunity awaits us. 910 00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:02,642 Renee just told me the good news, 911 00:42:02,643 --> 00:42:06,630 and I wanted to thank you for keeping my secret. 912 00:42:06,631 --> 00:42:09,588 Ah, no worries. I told you I would. 913 00:42:09,589 --> 00:42:11,627 I know, but even when suspicion moved on to you, 914 00:42:11,627 --> 00:42:13,660 you still protected me, and that's very honorable. 915 00:42:13,661 --> 00:42:15,635 Really, it was no big deal. 916 00:42:15,635 --> 00:42:16,643 Maybe not to you. 917 00:42:16,644 --> 00:42:19,601 You're not the one who put a body in the ground. 918 00:42:19,602 --> 00:42:21,601 You have to understand, a day doesn't go by 919 00:42:21,602 --> 00:42:24,648 when that does not weigh heavily on my conscience. 920 00:42:24,648 --> 00:42:26,643 Gotcha. 921 00:42:26,668 --> 00:42:30,891 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru