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00:00:02,758 --> 00:00:04,718
[Mary Alice] Previously
on Desperate Housewives:
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00:00:04,843 --> 00:00:07,596
You were brave
buying a place sight unseen.
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00:00:07,721 --> 00:00:10,224
It was just what we were looking for.
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00:00:10,350 --> 00:00:13,227
- Sometimes...
- Whoever said you were the father?
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00:00:13,353 --> 00:00:16,356
Didn't you think it was
strange you had the only lawn
6
00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:18,566
that needed to be mowed
three times a week?
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00:00:18,691 --> 00:00:21,736
- I'm going to kill you!
...the truth about loved ones...
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00:00:21,861 --> 00:00:24,572
You asked Peterson's wife
to not promote me. I quit.
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00:00:24,698 --> 00:00:27,910
- I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad.
- We should talk about this...
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00:00:28,035 --> 00:00:31,372
- You're going back to work.
...can lead you into harm's way.
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00:00:31,497 --> 00:00:35,542
- I'm having a heart attack.
- You are gonna come through this fine.
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[Bree] Hello?
13
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[man] Rex passed away about
ten minutes ago. I'm so sorry.
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[Zach] Mr Delfino took
my dad away to kill him.
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Now I'm gonna kill Mr Delfino.
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[Mary Alice] It was an accepted fact
among the residents of Wisteria Lane
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00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:56,941
that Ida Greenberg liked her liquor.
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People had seen her drunk
at sewing bees...
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[hiccups]
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... the Department of Motor Vehicles...
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[hiccups]
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... and the First Methodist Church.
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[belches] Mm.
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Ida had tried to quit drinking
many times, but she couldn't.
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Then one night, in a moment of despair,
26
00:01:17,921 --> 00:01:20,090
she challenged God
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to quench her never-ending thirst.
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Luckily for Ida, God was listening.
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[whining]
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[growling]
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[dog barking]
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Zach, listen to me...
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00:01:58,590 --> 00:01:59,591
[gun cocking]
34
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No!
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[barking continues]
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[gasping]
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Not so tough now, are you?
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- Ah! Bongo! No!
- Bongo!
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Bongo! Ah!
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[gasps]
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[barking continues]
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[Mary Alice] It was at that moment
it occurred to Ida,
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God may work in mysterious ways,
44
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but he isn't particularly subtle.
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[Mary Alice] It had been a year
since my death,
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and a lot had changed on Wisteria Lane.
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[boy] Go long!
48
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Children had learned new games...
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- Go for a long pass!
- Over here!
50
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... new neighbours had moved in...
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...old houses had been rebuilt...
- I told you guys twice.
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What's going on? Let me see.
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... and fresh tragedies had occurred.
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In one house, a widow was getting ready
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to tell her friends
of her husband's passing.
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But until the time was right,
she would wait.
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And life, as it tends to do,
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would go on.
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[mumbling] I look like hell.
I need a hairbrush.
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Yeah... [clears throat]
That's not gonna help.
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Susan?
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Officer Romslo
is here for your statement.
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- Zach Young do that?
- No.
64
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She fell. Bit her lip.
It was an accident.
65
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OK.
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So, um, walk me through what happened.
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[mumbling] I went
to Mike's to feed the dog.
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00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:33,964
- I'm sorry?
- Feed the dog.
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00:04:35,924 --> 00:04:38,677
And I turned around,
and there was Zach Young...
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00:04:38,802 --> 00:04:42,055
And that's Zach with an H.
...pointing a gun at me.
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- Keep that in.
- [Mike] Understand,
72
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Zach's had a tough time.
He's got emotional issues...
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Cos he's crazy!
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00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:50,690
I don't think he meant to hurt anybody.
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00:04:50,815 --> 00:04:52,317
Uh... Hello?
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He was waiting there for you
to come home so he could kill you!
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00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:58,948
Is that what happened when you
got home? Took a shot at you?
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00:04:59,073 --> 00:05:01,827
- Actually, Susan fired the gun.
- OK, that's because
79
00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:06,332
I was wrestling it away from Zach
so that he wouldn't shoot you.
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00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:10,127
- Oh! There's blood.
- Could we do this later?
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- She's a mess right now.
- Yeah.
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- I can fill in the rest for you.
- I'd appreciate it.
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00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:18,595
- You feel better, Mrs Mayer.
- Thanks.
84
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Ow! That hurts.
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- I'm gonna get you more ice.
- OK.
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Susan really flew off the handle
when she jumped the kid.
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- [Romslo] This is a domestic squabble?
- Yeah, definitely, yeah.
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00:05:33,611 --> 00:05:35,780
Are we required to press charges?
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00:05:35,905 --> 00:05:37,990
Well, you're not really required,
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but it's something you should really
consider when a handgun is involved.
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00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:07,772
John! How did you get in here?
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I know where you keep the key.
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Mimosa?
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- I'm pregnant, you jackass.
- I made yours with seltzer.
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Do you have any idea what you've done?
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00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:20,744
That little stunt you pulled could
get Carlos sent away for eight years.
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00:06:20,869 --> 00:06:23,831
Yeah, I thought you might
be a little mad about that.
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But once you calm down,
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you'll see that it's just the two of us.
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- It's gonna be awesome.
- [sighs]
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You brought luggage?
102
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He's gone! We don't
have to sneak around.
103
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We can have a real relationship.
It's what's best for the three of us.
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The three of us?
How exactly does that benefit Carlos?
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- I'm talking about my baby.
- You don't know it's your baby.
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I don't know, and I don't wanna
cos it doesn't matter!
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[grunts]
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So, what, you don't love me?
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Up until you told my husband
we were having an affair,
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I was quite fond of you.
Since then... not a fan!
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[children chattering]
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- Hey.
- Hey.
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Oh, why on earth would you let them
finger-paint before breakfast?
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It's my job to clean that up now,
so it's my call, right?
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- Right. Sorry.
- I thought the meeting wasn't till one.
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I have a thousand things
to do before that.
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Borrow a decent scarf from Bree,
buy a lipstick I don't hate...
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- Mommy, Mommy, look!
- No, no! No.
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Nobody touches Mommy.
I love you, I love your finger-painting,
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but touch me with those hands,
I cut them off.
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- Go on, off. Good.
- It's OK. [laughs]
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- A little nervous?
- Who, me?
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I've been out of for work seven years.
I'm a woman of a certain age
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in a business that values youth
above all. Why be nervous?
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You are experienced. You are brilliant.
126
00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:02,853
You are going to nail
this job interview, OK?
127
00:08:02,978 --> 00:08:06,565
Thank you. No!
I can't. You're very... So...
128
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- Yeah.
- Thank you. Here.
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Oh, my cell phone!
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[clock ticking]
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[clock chiming]
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[dialling]
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Lynette, hi. It's Bree.
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00:08:34,762 --> 00:08:36,847
I do hope I'm not calling too early.
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Hmm?
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00:08:39,016 --> 00:08:42,521
Oh, of course you can borrow
that scarf. I'll press it for you.
137
00:08:42,646 --> 00:08:46,817
Um, I have, uh, some news. Rex died.
138
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They were gonna operate.
What happened?
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Apparently, Rex's heart just gave out.
140
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Oh, my God. So when can we see Bree?
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[Lynette] She said she was gonna call.
She's got a lot of things to do.
142
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,295
Planning for the funeral.
That sort of thing.
143
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,088
She doesn't look that busy to me.
144
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,306
Hi. Hi, what are you doing out here?
145
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:19,977
Oh, I'm just waiting for Rex's mother.
She's gonna be here any second.
146
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,062
Honey, we are so sorry.
147
00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:25,734
Oh, do any of you drink, uh, soymilk?
148
00:09:25,817 --> 00:09:29,612
I was cleaning out the fridge,
and Rex is the only one who drinks it.
149
00:09:29,738 --> 00:09:32,407
I just bought it on Friday.
I'd hate to throw it away.
150
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What a waste.
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00:09:38,873 --> 00:09:42,293
- Oh, sweetie.
- Honey, you can let it out.
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No, I can't afford
to fall apart right now.
153
00:09:44,712 --> 00:09:47,089
- [Susan] Why?
- You're about to find out.
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[tires screeching]
155
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Bree!
156
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:54,097
Stop. Stop here! This is the house!
157
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- Is that?
- Yes. That is Rex's mother.
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[sobbing]
159
00:10:06,359 --> 00:10:10,698
I can't believe it.
It's like some hideous nightmare.
160
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My life is over! My life is over!
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[sobbing continues]
162
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- [phone ringing]
- [indistinct chattering]
163
00:10:31,303 --> 00:10:35,599
It appears there's a seven-year gap
since your last position.
164
00:10:35,724 --> 00:10:39,646
- What, did you take some time off?
- I was a stay-at-home mom.
165
00:10:39,771 --> 00:10:43,274
- I wish it had been time off.
- Boy or girl?
166
00:10:43,399 --> 00:10:46,069
A girl... and three boys.
167
00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:48,738
- Four kids.
- Yeah. Of course,
168
00:10:48,863 --> 00:10:50,658
they won't get in the way of the job,
169
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:54,286
because my husband's staying home
with them from now on.
170
00:10:55,704 --> 00:10:58,290
I knew I could never
do both jobs justice.
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00:10:58,415 --> 00:11:00,834
That's why I chose not to have a family.
172
00:11:01,544 --> 00:11:04,380
I didn't wanna be one
of those kind of women, you know,
173
00:11:04,505 --> 00:11:09,135
sloughing things off onto co-workers
because of a paediatrician appointment
174
00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:14,599
or a dance recital. I get really
neurotic about putting people out.
175
00:11:15,684 --> 00:11:20,064
With all due respect, Nina, it won't
be an issue. I can leave home at home.
176
00:11:20,189 --> 00:11:23,401
It's not gonna break your heart
to leave those sad faces behind?
177
00:11:23,526 --> 00:11:27,613
[chuckling] Are you kidding?
This office is paradise.
178
00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:30,157
Grown-ups talking about grown-up things.
179
00:11:30,283 --> 00:11:33,786
No screaming, no vomiting,
no boogers under the table.
180
00:11:33,911 --> 00:11:36,832
You're gonna have to drag me
out kicking and screaming.
181
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:39,835
Weekends, holidays, whenever.
182
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:44,381
All right, Ed wants
to make the final decision.
183
00:11:44,506 --> 00:11:48,636
So I will bring you back
tomorrow at three for a follow-up?
184
00:11:48,761 --> 00:11:50,888
Well, that sounds great. Thank you.
185
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,975
Lynette, be early. Show me something.
186
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,602
'K.
187
00:11:57,854 --> 00:12:00,315
[Danielle] No way.
Dad did not have a teddy bear.
188
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,150
[Phyllis] He most certainly did.
189
00:12:02,275 --> 00:12:03,944
That was Doolittle.
190
00:12:04,069 --> 00:12:07,031
Your father never
went anywhere without him.
191
00:12:10,326 --> 00:12:11,702
Here's your tea, Phyllis.
192
00:12:12,369 --> 00:12:15,289
Oh. Oh!
193
00:12:15,414 --> 00:12:16,582
Look, Bree.
194
00:12:16,707 --> 00:12:20,211
This was the tie that Rex wore
when he graduated from prep school.
195
00:12:21,755 --> 00:12:23,173
I think he should wear it.
196
00:12:24,049 --> 00:12:26,426
You know, for the funeral.
197
00:12:26,551 --> 00:12:29,387
Phyllis, that's an orange tie.
198
00:12:29,512 --> 00:12:32,015
Those were his school colours.
Green and orange.
199
00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:34,935
Well, he's being buried in a blue suit.
200
00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:40,149
Maybe he could be buried
in a different suit.
201
00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:42,943
I don't think so. But thank you, though.
202
00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:47,699
You, uh...
you kept Dad's old comic books?
203
00:12:47,824 --> 00:12:49,868
Oh, yes, I kept everything.
204
00:12:49,993 --> 00:12:51,745
Look here.
205
00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:55,707
I even kept the dirty magazine
206
00:12:55,832 --> 00:12:58,502
that he hid under his mattress.
207
00:12:58,627 --> 00:13:01,923
He didn't think
I knew about it, but I did.
208
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:06,469
Wow. Looks like Dad
was into big breasts.
209
00:13:06,594 --> 00:13:10,181
Oh, yes. That's why I was surprised
when he married your mother.
210
00:13:17,648 --> 00:13:19,691
[indistinct chattering]
211
00:13:19,858 --> 00:13:21,944
You're not gonna talk to me, is that it?
212
00:13:25,197 --> 00:13:28,909
Fine. I don't need to talk.
213
00:13:34,249 --> 00:13:36,918
OK, yes, I had a little affair.
214
00:13:37,043 --> 00:13:39,587
It wasn't the best thing,
and I'm not proud.
215
00:13:39,712 --> 00:13:42,882
It's not the worst
that could've happen. Nobody died.
216
00:13:44,008 --> 00:13:46,220
Oh, don't be such a martyr, Carlos.
217
00:13:46,345 --> 00:13:48,597
OK, it takes two people.
218
00:13:48,722 --> 00:13:52,726
How many times did you go off on your
business trips and leave me alone?
219
00:13:52,852 --> 00:13:54,937
See, so technically, you cheated too.
220
00:13:55,062 --> 00:13:58,315
It's just your mistress was your work.
221
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:01,945
No! OK, that was a stretch. I'm sorry.
Carlos, wait! Come back.
222
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:04,573
Look, I wanna start over.
223
00:14:04,698 --> 00:14:08,159
We're gonna have a baby!
Isn't that what you always wanted?
224
00:14:10,287 --> 00:14:14,917
Carlos, wait! I said I was sorry,
and I love you! What more do you want?
225
00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:18,546
I want a paternity test.
226
00:14:26,596 --> 00:14:30,058
Mrs Applewhite.
Hi, I am Bree Van De Kamp,
227
00:14:30,183 --> 00:14:32,936
- and this is my daughter Danielle.
- Hello.
228
00:14:33,061 --> 00:14:34,563
- Hi.
- Hey, I'm Matthew.
229
00:14:34,688 --> 00:14:36,940
- This is my son.
- Hi.
230
00:14:37,065 --> 00:14:39,735
I would have been over sooner
to introduce myself,
231
00:14:39,818 --> 00:14:42,571
but I'm afraid there's
been a death in my family.
232
00:14:42,696 --> 00:14:44,866
- My dad.
- I'm so sorry.
233
00:14:44,991 --> 00:14:48,161
I lost my dad too. I know what you
must be going through right now.
234
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:50,955
- Thank you.
- Anyway, I'm afraid that my visit
235
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,457
has an ulterior motive.
236
00:14:52,582 --> 00:14:56,502
The organist at our church is
on vacation, and Edie Britt mentioned
237
00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:58,631
that you used to be a concert pianist...
238
00:14:58,756 --> 00:15:00,758
I would be honoured to play for you.
239
00:15:00,883 --> 00:15:04,595
Why don't I bring sheet music over,
and we can plan some selections.
240
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,265
Thank you. That's just
a huge weight off my shoulders.
241
00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:12,144
- Oh, these are for you.
- How sweet.
242
00:15:12,269 --> 00:15:16,024
Bree, we widows have to stick together.
243
00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,194
Bye.
244
00:15:27,787 --> 00:15:31,540
Pretending your father's dead?
Don't you find that a little morbid?
245
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:35,795
I thought it could help our cover story.
Just, you know, win them over.
246
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:40,174
Oh, sweetie, I know you meant well.
247
00:15:40,299 --> 00:15:44,012
But in the future,
you leave the cleverness to me.
248
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,944
Since when are we protected
by Dorset Security?
249
00:15:58,069 --> 00:16:00,863
We're not. It's a deterrent
in case Zach comes back.
250
00:16:00,988 --> 00:16:04,242
I told Mike I didn't sleep last night,
so he got me this sign.
251
00:16:04,242 --> 00:16:05,618
That guy is so supportive.
252
00:16:05,743 --> 00:16:09,330
You know he's out on a ride-along
with the police searching for Zach?
253
00:16:09,455 --> 00:16:10,456
- Really?
- Yeah.
254
00:16:10,582 --> 00:16:12,960
He's determined
to see that kid behind bars.
255
00:16:13,085 --> 00:16:17,881
I want you to let everybody know
that we got this new security system.
256
00:16:18,006 --> 00:16:20,968
- Mom...
- Work it into the conversation.
257
00:16:21,093 --> 00:16:24,179
- I gotta tell you something.
- Emphasize motion detectors.
258
00:16:24,304 --> 00:16:26,391
- Listen.
- What? What is it?
259
00:16:26,516 --> 00:16:30,979
Yesterday I overhead Mike telling that
cop that he didn't wanna press charges.
260
00:16:32,105 --> 00:16:34,357
He made it sound like it was your fault.
261
00:16:34,482 --> 00:16:35,692
My fault?
262
00:16:45,703 --> 00:16:48,038
Hi. Uh, I need a paternity test.
263
00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:50,040
We'll just schedule you for an exam.
264
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,960
Oh, no, no.
I don't need to take a test.
265
00:16:54,838 --> 00:16:58,008
I am just trying to reassure my husband
266
00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:00,510
of what I know is true in my heart.
267
00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:03,889
So if you could just slip me
someone else's test results,
268
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:06,975
I can make my own.
I got Photoshop for Christmas.
269
00:17:09,687 --> 00:17:10,938
Oh, come on.
270
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:14,483
You look like a fun-loving girl.
271
00:17:14,609 --> 00:17:17,987
I am sure you've been in
a couple hairy situations of your own.
272
00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:22,700
Just because I choose to express myself
273
00:17:22,825 --> 00:17:26,538
doesn't mean
that I condone adultery. Sorry.
274
00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:46,643
Paternity test results?
275
00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:50,313
I know. I'm in the same situation.
276
00:17:50,438 --> 00:17:52,441
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
277
00:17:52,566 --> 00:17:55,110
I found out the clinic
screwed up and gave me an egg
278
00:17:55,235 --> 00:17:56,862
that belonged to some lesbian.
279
00:17:57,780 --> 00:18:00,324
It was supposed
to be implanted in her lover.
280
00:18:00,449 --> 00:18:02,409
And now my husband's freaking out
281
00:18:02,534 --> 00:18:05,371
because he thinks
that our baby's gonna be gay.
282
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:11,002
OK, we're in slightly
different situations.
283
00:18:11,127 --> 00:18:13,630
Do you wanna get
a cup of coffee and talk about it?
284
00:18:13,755 --> 00:18:16,591
Yeah. That'd be nice. Thanks.
285
00:18:16,716 --> 00:18:19,594
Yeah, us girls have to stick together.
286
00:18:19,719 --> 00:18:23,683
We shouldn't let a stupid
piece of paper ruin our life.
287
00:18:23,808 --> 00:18:25,351
Yeah.
288
00:18:31,732 --> 00:18:34,402
[man] Obviously,
I've known Rex for years,
289
00:18:34,485 --> 00:18:36,530
but when it comes to writing a eulogy,
290
00:18:36,655 --> 00:18:39,241
I like as much input
from the family as possible.
291
00:18:39,366 --> 00:18:42,035
Oh, well, what kind of input?
292
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,747
Oh, he means anecdotes. Little stories.
293
00:18:45,872 --> 00:18:47,833
Isn't that what you mean, Reverend?
294
00:18:47,958 --> 00:18:49,418
Well, yes. But also...
295
00:18:49,543 --> 00:18:51,963
I thought that you might need some help.
296
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:55,550
Last night I stayed up all night
297
00:18:55,675 --> 00:18:58,344
and tried to remember funny things
298
00:18:58,469 --> 00:19:02,390
and moments that said
so much about Rex as a person.
299
00:19:02,515 --> 00:19:05,352
My, how many pages do you have there?
300
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,312
Fifteen.
301
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:18,323
Well, you're hardly going to have
to write anything at all, Reverend.
302
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,994
Some of those anecdotes
are just priceless.
303
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:24,664
These are all things that happened
to Rex before he went to college.
304
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,625
- So?
- Don't you think it'd be nice
305
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:31,087
if the reverend devoted the eulogy
to his life after he was married?
306
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,214
Oh, well, yes, of course.
307
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,343
The reverend
will mention that part of his life.
308
00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:38,888
That's the part he'll focus on.
309
00:19:39,013 --> 00:19:43,017
In fact, I think three anecdotes from
Rex's childhood is more than enough.
310
00:19:43,142 --> 00:19:45,186
Um, that... that seems fair.
311
00:19:48,314 --> 00:19:50,525
Well, whatever you think is appropriate.
312
00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:51,860
Fine.
313
00:19:51,985 --> 00:19:55,780
I just thought if we were
going to focus on a time in Rex's life,
314
00:19:55,906 --> 00:19:58,700
that we might as well focus
on the happiest time.
315
00:20:02,787 --> 00:20:06,292
Let's talk flowers.
Now, I know lilies are traditional.
316
00:20:06,417 --> 00:20:10,004
But I think I can get you
a deal on some white roses.
317
00:20:10,129 --> 00:20:13,674
If you don't call her on
that incredibly insensitive comment,
318
00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:14,800
I'm gonna lose it.
319
00:20:14,926 --> 00:20:17,094
She didn't mean it the way it sounded.
320
00:20:17,219 --> 00:20:19,389
- I knew what I was saying.
- Ladies...
321
00:20:19,514 --> 00:20:22,351
The happiest time
in Rex's life was not childhood.
322
00:20:22,476 --> 00:20:24,978
He loved being a husband.
He loved being a father.
323
00:20:25,103 --> 00:20:27,564
Well, he may have loved being a father,
324
00:20:27,689 --> 00:20:30,901
but your marriage was a disaster.
325
00:20:31,026 --> 00:20:34,072
Phyllis, is there
something you'd like to say?
326
00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:38,701
You made the last years
of Rex's life miserable.
327
00:20:38,826 --> 00:20:41,079
And now he's dead.
328
00:20:41,204 --> 00:20:44,916
And he'll never have
another chance at happiness.
329
00:20:47,544 --> 00:20:50,589
You are no longer
invited to the funeral.
330
00:20:50,714 --> 00:20:52,716
- What?
- You're not serious.
331
00:20:52,841 --> 00:20:54,176
[Bree] Oh, yes, I am.
332
00:20:54,301 --> 00:20:58,389
I am going to hire security. And those
security men are going to have sticks.
333
00:20:58,514 --> 00:21:00,516
If you set foot in that sanctuary,
334
00:21:00,641 --> 00:21:03,895
they will be instructed
to beat you with those sticks.
335
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:07,524
- Bree, this is your grief talking.
- If you don't back me up on this,
336
00:21:07,649 --> 00:21:10,151
I will pull the funeral
out of your church.
337
00:21:10,276 --> 00:21:11,778
- Bree!
- I am not kidding.
338
00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:15,365
I will go nondenominational
so fast it will make your head spin.
339
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,751
Eww.
340
00:21:25,876 --> 00:21:28,254
[hammers banging]
341
00:21:28,379 --> 00:21:30,172
Susan!
342
00:21:30,297 --> 00:21:33,552
I heard what happened with Zach.
How are you doing?
343
00:21:33,552 --> 00:21:35,053
Fine. Is Mike here?
344
00:21:35,178 --> 00:21:36,805
Inside. Jeez.
345
00:21:36,930 --> 00:21:40,142
You must have been terrified.
He put Felicia in the hospital.
346
00:21:40,267 --> 00:21:42,394
- Yeah...
- Did he pistol-whip you?
347
00:21:42,519 --> 00:21:45,732
- No.
- Oh, come on. You can tell me.
348
00:21:45,857 --> 00:21:48,568
- Did he slap you around?
- No.
349
00:21:48,693 --> 00:21:51,946
Well, don't get me wrong.
I'm thrilled that you're OK.
350
00:21:51,946 --> 00:21:56,492
When someone holds someone else
hostage, they usually rough 'em up.
351
00:21:57,827 --> 00:21:59,412
It wasn't like that.
352
00:21:59,537 --> 00:22:00,873
Oh.
353
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:05,043
- Not even a little kicking?
- Edie!
354
00:22:07,337 --> 00:22:09,506
Someone to see you.
355
00:22:09,631 --> 00:22:10,799
- How's it going?
- Good.
356
00:22:10,924 --> 00:22:14,554
There's a rumour that you don't
wanna press charges against Zach.
357
00:22:14,679 --> 00:22:16,973
Is that true?
358
00:22:17,098 --> 00:22:18,641
Yeah.
359
00:22:20,143 --> 00:22:24,397
Wow. Um, I find that... confusing.
360
00:22:24,522 --> 00:22:28,067
Look, if we make a big deal out of this,
he could end up going to prison.
361
00:22:28,193 --> 00:22:31,780
He held a gun to my face.
So I'm thinking, good.
362
00:22:31,906 --> 00:22:34,783
I've been to prison.
He couldn't handle it.
363
00:22:34,909 --> 00:22:37,161
- Who cares?
- I care.
364
00:22:37,286 --> 00:22:40,372
Well, you should care more about me!
I'm your girlfriend.
365
00:22:40,498 --> 00:22:43,375
We're moving in together.
He's just a neighbour.
366
00:22:43,502 --> 00:22:45,629
I know that deep down he's a good kid.
367
00:22:45,754 --> 00:22:49,090
- Mike, he wanted to kill you.
- But he didn't.
368
00:22:49,216 --> 00:22:52,719
You never asked me why Zach wanted
to shoot you. Aren't you curious?
369
00:22:53,553 --> 00:22:56,264
- Does it matter?
- Zach said you kidnapped his father
370
00:22:56,389 --> 00:22:57,474
so you could kill him.
371
00:22:57,599 --> 00:23:01,103
- I didn't kill Paul Young.
- I didn't think you did.
372
00:23:01,229 --> 00:23:02,980
Now tell me why Zach does.
373
00:23:10,029 --> 00:23:14,743
I found some evidence that
suggested that Paul murdered Deirdre.
374
00:23:14,868 --> 00:23:17,788
Sixteen years ago, Deirdre had a baby.
375
00:23:17,913 --> 00:23:21,333
Paul and Mary Alice Young kidnapped
him and raised him as their own.
376
00:23:21,458 --> 00:23:24,878
Deirdre tracked them down here
and demanded her baby back.
377
00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:26,838
So Paul killed her?
378
00:23:27,590 --> 00:23:29,801
Actually, it was Mary Alice.
379
00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:33,596
Oh, my God.
380
00:23:33,721 --> 00:23:37,684
Mike, I answered your phone.
381
00:23:37,809 --> 00:23:39,602
It's the police.
382
00:23:40,311 --> 00:23:41,814
Yeah, Delfino.
383
00:23:43,107 --> 00:23:44,775
You did?
384
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:47,444
OK. I can be there in 20 minutes.
385
00:23:51,156 --> 00:23:52,366
Zach's dead.
386
00:23:52,491 --> 00:23:54,243
[gasps]
387
00:23:54,868 --> 00:23:57,080
They want me to come identify the body.
388
00:24:12,013 --> 00:24:14,098
Thanks for coming down.
389
00:24:14,223 --> 00:24:18,894
Since the kid's father is missing,
we didn't know who else to call.
390
00:24:20,312 --> 00:24:22,815
So, you folks ready?
391
00:24:38,915 --> 00:24:42,003
- It's not Zach.
- You're sure?
392
00:24:42,128 --> 00:24:45,548
He had a gun in my face for six hours.
I know what he looks like.
393
00:25:03,942 --> 00:25:06,320
- Can you give us a minute?
- Sure.
394
00:25:17,373 --> 00:25:19,334
Zach is your son, isn't he?
395
00:25:20,293 --> 00:25:23,129
Yep. I'm pretty sure.
396
00:25:25,132 --> 00:25:27,927
How long have you known?
397
00:25:28,052 --> 00:25:30,471
Paul Young told me.
398
00:25:32,723 --> 00:25:35,059
Deirdre got pregnant
before I went to jail
399
00:25:35,184 --> 00:25:38,647
and told me she had an abortion.
400
00:25:40,190 --> 00:25:43,860
- Guess she lied.
- I see.
401
00:25:46,947 --> 00:25:49,991
When I took Paul out to the desert,
402
00:25:50,116 --> 00:25:53,204
and I was so angry,
I just wanted to hurt him...
403
00:25:54,705 --> 00:25:56,874
...the way they hurt Deirdre.
404
00:25:58,209 --> 00:26:03,130
When he told me that he and Mary Alice
had taken care of Deirdre's baby,
405
00:26:03,256 --> 00:26:05,758
my baby...
406
00:26:06,842 --> 00:26:09,137
...that rage just went away.
407
00:26:13,225 --> 00:26:16,311
It kept me from
doing something really stupid.
408
00:26:19,940 --> 00:26:21,901
Wow.
409
00:26:24,904 --> 00:26:27,657
I'm gonna take a cab home, OK?
410
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,253
Mom, Grandma's leaving, all right?
You have to talk to her.
411
00:26:39,378 --> 00:26:41,422
No. If you heard
the things she said...
412
00:26:41,547 --> 00:26:45,217
Look, I'm sure she was a real bitch.
OK? But she's family.
413
00:26:45,342 --> 00:26:47,052
So that makes her our bitch.
414
00:26:48,762 --> 00:26:50,055
Let her say goodbye to Dad.
415
00:26:50,180 --> 00:26:52,934
She went out of her way
to be cruel to me.
416
00:26:53,059 --> 00:26:54,686
I don't want her at the funeral.
417
00:26:54,811 --> 00:26:58,106
[sobbing] If you don't let Grandma
come, I will never forgive you!
418
00:26:58,231 --> 00:26:59,983
Did I ask for your help?
419
00:27:03,319 --> 00:27:05,113
You know Dad would want her there.
420
00:27:07,408 --> 00:27:09,326
[sighs]
421
00:27:17,543 --> 00:27:20,714
It's true Rex and I did
not have the perfect marriage.
422
00:27:20,839 --> 00:27:24,718
But for 18 years I tried my very best.
423
00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:27,262
And for that I am entitled
to your respect.
424
00:27:30,057 --> 00:27:32,559
Of course you are.
425
00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:35,188
Of course I respect you.
426
00:27:35,313 --> 00:27:38,399
Well, then why did
you say those things to me?
427
00:27:39,484 --> 00:27:43,529
I guess I thought it would
be easier to be angry at you
428
00:27:43,654 --> 00:27:45,782
than to be angry with Rex.
429
00:27:47,825 --> 00:27:51,789
I mean, what was he thinking,
leaving me?
430
00:27:56,668 --> 00:27:58,962
I do want you to come to the funeral.
431
00:27:59,087 --> 00:28:00,839
Oh...
432
00:28:01,715 --> 00:28:04,928
You don't know
what that means to me, Bree.
433
00:28:05,178 --> 00:28:06,846
Thank you.
434
00:28:10,934 --> 00:28:13,269
Someone should get my luggage.
435
00:28:18,191 --> 00:28:20,069
[Lynette] OK, let's get out of here.
436
00:28:20,194 --> 00:28:22,571
- Tom? Tom?
- [Tom] Yeah?
437
00:28:24,573 --> 00:28:26,075
What's the matter?
438
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,620
My back. I threw it out.
I was holding Parker upside down.
439
00:28:29,745 --> 00:28:33,208
OK. Come on. Give me your feet.
440
00:28:33,333 --> 00:28:35,252
[Tom grunts]
441
00:28:35,377 --> 00:28:37,087
How's that? Is that better?
442
00:28:38,922 --> 00:28:40,841
Honey... can you push the interview?
443
00:28:40,966 --> 00:28:43,552
I don't think I'm gonna be
able to take care of Penny.
444
00:28:43,677 --> 00:28:46,012
Don't do this.
I don't have time to make a call,
445
00:28:46,137 --> 00:28:49,392
and I promised I would not
let kids interfere with this job.
446
00:28:49,517 --> 00:28:52,395
That was a stupid promise. [grunting]
447
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,523
Remember that time when you were
in Tucson, I had 104 fever,
448
00:28:55,648 --> 00:28:58,234
but I still took the kids
trick-or-treating?
449
00:28:58,359 --> 00:29:01,612
[grunting] Honey,
I don't think that's helping!
450
00:29:01,737 --> 00:29:03,073
[grunting]
451
00:29:03,198 --> 00:29:06,535
Tom, being a mom
is like being an ER doctor.
452
00:29:06,660 --> 00:29:10,581
There are no days off.
So get up! Get up!
453
00:29:11,748 --> 00:29:14,835
OK. [whimpers]
454
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,130
Jeez, are you crying?
455
00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:19,924
Just a little.
456
00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:21,884
I'll be fine. Just go. Just go.
457
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:23,595
[Penny cries]
458
00:29:26,472 --> 00:29:28,516
Oh, for God sakes.
459
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,063
Give 'em hell, honey!
460
00:29:33,814 --> 00:29:36,817
You... [grunts]
461
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:41,280
- [elevator dings]
- [woman] Parcher & Murphy.
462
00:29:46,369 --> 00:29:48,163
Hi, Mrs Scavo.
463
00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:50,123
Wait inside. They'll be right in.
464
00:29:50,248 --> 00:29:52,917
Great. Listen, uh...
465
00:29:53,043 --> 00:29:54,044
- Stu.
- Stu.
466
00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:56,880
You look like a bright,
uh, responsible young man.
467
00:29:57,005 --> 00:29:59,132
And I bet you just love kids.
Am I right?
468
00:30:08,934 --> 00:30:11,020
Ah!
469
00:30:11,145 --> 00:30:13,272
Ed Ferrara, Lynette Scavo.
470
00:30:13,397 --> 00:30:15,942
- Thanks for having me in.
- Nice to meet you. Sit.
471
00:30:16,068 --> 00:30:17,903
[Lynette] Great. Thank you.
472
00:30:19,321 --> 00:30:21,365
We're gonna have to make this quick.
473
00:30:22,157 --> 00:30:24,451
I gotta leave in five to catch a plane.
474
00:30:24,576 --> 00:30:27,871
I got Celtics tickets
on the floor. [giggles]
475
00:30:29,874 --> 00:30:31,793
This is a great résumé.
476
00:30:31,918 --> 00:30:34,295
I see you worked with the Donahues.
477
00:30:34,921 --> 00:30:37,840
Yeah, I snaked the Oslo Candy
account from 'em last year.
478
00:30:39,383 --> 00:30:41,969
- So you've done a lot of copy work?
- I have.
479
00:30:42,095 --> 00:30:45,474
But when I moved over to Senn & Simons,
480
00:30:45,599 --> 00:30:49,103
I got to do
a broader range of campaigns...
481
00:30:49,603 --> 00:30:51,730
...um...
482
00:30:52,564 --> 00:30:58,613
...T, uh... V, and, uh...
483
00:30:58,738 --> 00:31:00,448
- [Penny sobbing]
...radio...
484
00:31:01,199 --> 00:31:04,119
...uh, billboards...
485
00:31:05,787 --> 00:31:08,998
Could you excuse me
for a minute? Please?
486
00:31:09,874 --> 00:31:13,295
- What's going on?
- I have no idea.
487
00:31:14,463 --> 00:31:18,217
You are an idiot.
You're an idiot! Absolute idiot!
488
00:31:19,134 --> 00:31:22,471
Hi. Guys, I'd like you to meet Penny.
489
00:31:22,596 --> 00:31:24,473
She gives me all my best ideas.
490
00:31:24,598 --> 00:31:26,350
You brought your baby?
491
00:31:26,475 --> 00:31:28,979
- It won't be an ongoing thing.
- You bet it won't.
492
00:31:29,104 --> 00:31:31,982
It's fine. Can we get
that little lady to be quiet?
493
00:31:32,107 --> 00:31:35,527
Not until I change her diaper.
Could you just give me two minutes?
494
00:31:35,652 --> 00:31:38,572
- Sorry. Plane.
- Well...
495
00:31:38,697 --> 00:31:40,240
[Penny crying]
496
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,827
Then watch me multitasking.
497
00:31:43,244 --> 00:31:46,455
Here's how I see it.
You guys run a really good shop.
498
00:31:46,581 --> 00:31:49,000
But if you want your agency
to go to the next level,
499
00:31:49,125 --> 00:31:51,002
you have to focus on two things.
500
00:31:51,127 --> 00:31:53,296
First, you've gotta win some awards.
501
00:31:53,421 --> 00:31:56,758
Do some PSAs, pro bono stuff,
whatever it takes.
502
00:31:56,884 --> 00:31:59,887
Because whether they admit it or not,
503
00:32:00,012 --> 00:32:02,306
clients care about
what's in your trophy case.
504
00:32:02,431 --> 00:32:06,476
Two, your Web site. It's the first
thing a client's gonna look at.
505
00:32:06,602 --> 00:32:09,146
And it's hard to navigate,
there's no site map.
506
00:32:09,271 --> 00:32:12,567
It just wasn't built for people
who grew up without computers.
507
00:32:12,692 --> 00:32:15,570
There. And third...
508
00:32:15,695 --> 00:32:20,658
I don't have a third, yeah.
So that's... it.
509
00:32:22,327 --> 00:32:25,748
- OK. You're in.
- Seriously?
510
00:32:25,873 --> 00:32:27,958
Yeah.
511
00:32:28,083 --> 00:32:30,544
Take the office
across the hall. I gotta run.
512
00:32:33,255 --> 00:32:35,549
Well, all right!
513
00:32:40,639 --> 00:32:42,641
OK, obviously, I'm gonna clean that up.
514
00:32:43,516 --> 00:32:45,727
Here it is in black and white.
515
00:32:45,852 --> 00:32:47,479
It's your kid.
516
00:32:54,444 --> 00:32:57,907
- What? Why aren't you smiling?
- It's not enough.
517
00:32:58,032 --> 00:32:59,700
You want a Father's Day card?
518
00:32:59,825 --> 00:33:02,036
The one thing I demanded was fidelity.
519
00:33:02,161 --> 00:33:04,163
You still went out and screwed around.
520
00:33:04,288 --> 00:33:07,792
I didn't want a child.
You tricked me into getting pregnant.
521
00:33:07,917 --> 00:33:10,754
- It's not the same.
- What you did was worse!
522
00:33:14,883 --> 00:33:18,512
- We're not very nice people, are we?
- No, we're not.
523
00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:23,183
When we got married,
I thought we were gonna be so happy.
524
00:33:23,308 --> 00:33:24,977
Me too.
525
00:33:28,731 --> 00:33:31,984
Look on the bright side.
At least we're still rich.
526
00:33:31,984 --> 00:33:34,529
Thank God for that.
527
00:33:43,122 --> 00:33:46,291
So it occurred to me...
528
00:33:47,751 --> 00:33:50,963
...that I was really rude at the morgue.
529
00:33:54,050 --> 00:33:57,595
When you told me about Zach,
I was so busy freaking out,
530
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:02,517
- I never actually congratulated you.
- Congratulated me?
531
00:34:02,642 --> 00:34:06,980
I know how much you've always
wanted a child. And now you have one.
532
00:34:07,731 --> 00:34:11,652
- Thanks.
- Obviously, it was quite a shock.
533
00:34:12,736 --> 00:34:16,198
But it's good news,
any way you slice it.
534
00:34:18,576 --> 00:34:19,869
What's wrong?
535
00:34:19,994 --> 00:34:23,248
So naturally, you'll be wanting to...
536
00:34:23,373 --> 00:34:25,083
...have a relationship with him.
537
00:34:25,208 --> 00:34:27,377
And that takes time. A lot of time.
538
00:34:27,502 --> 00:34:31,047
- Susan...
- Out of all the mixed-up teenagers
539
00:34:31,173 --> 00:34:32,716
in the world,
540
00:34:32,841 --> 00:34:37,805
Zach is just the one kid
that I can't be around.
541
00:34:37,930 --> 00:34:40,141
I can't have Julie around him.
542
00:34:41,017 --> 00:34:45,938
So, what I'm trying to say is...
543
00:34:46,063 --> 00:34:50,026
- We can't move in together.
- [crying] But I am so happy for you.
544
00:34:50,151 --> 00:34:53,405
Really, you have a child,
and that is good for you.
545
00:34:53,405 --> 00:34:55,073
- Isn't there any way?
- No.
546
00:34:55,198 --> 00:34:58,160
No, I'm so sorry.
547
00:34:59,369 --> 00:35:02,581
I'll... I'll see you around.
548
00:35:11,257 --> 00:35:13,718
[organ music]
549
00:36:21,374 --> 00:36:23,835
[reverend] We've come
together to celebrate
550
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,921
- the life of Dr Rex Van De Kamp...
- What is he wearing?
551
00:36:27,046 --> 00:36:29,173
...a life filled with love, laughter...
552
00:36:29,298 --> 00:36:32,176
- What?
- I left him an hour ago,
553
00:36:32,301 --> 00:36:33,971
and he was wearing Ralph Lauren.
554
00:36:34,096 --> 00:36:37,057
It's what Rex would have wanted.
555
00:36:37,182 --> 00:36:40,477
He loved that prep school.
556
00:36:40,602 --> 00:36:42,980
[reverend] Whichever coat
he was wearing,
557
00:36:43,105 --> 00:36:45,649
Rex always brought
an irresistible enthusiasm
558
00:36:45,774 --> 00:36:47,401
and a determination...
559
00:36:47,526 --> 00:36:51,072
So as we mourn the passing
of Rex Van De Kamp,
560
00:36:51,197 --> 00:36:53,491
we give thanks to God.
561
00:36:53,616 --> 00:36:57,078
For we do not grieve
as those who have no hope,
562
00:36:57,203 --> 00:37:00,290
but as those
who place their trust in God.
563
00:37:00,415 --> 00:37:03,919
[organ music]
564
00:37:16,348 --> 00:37:17,684
Wait!
565
00:37:17,809 --> 00:37:18,894
[organ music stops]
566
00:37:19,019 --> 00:37:20,604
Do not close that coffin.
567
00:37:36,621 --> 00:37:37,747
Give me your tie.
568
00:37:39,749 --> 00:37:40,958
What?
569
00:37:41,083 --> 00:37:43,211
Give me your tie.
570
00:37:45,004 --> 00:37:47,090
Give it to her. Give it to her!
571
00:38:13,034 --> 00:38:15,162
[creaking]
572
00:38:39,562 --> 00:38:41,314
[exhales]
573
00:38:43,900 --> 00:38:47,571
You look... magnificent.
574
00:38:50,116 --> 00:38:52,993
[organ music resumes]
575
00:39:19,272 --> 00:39:22,817
So it looks like Mary Alice
killed Zach's birth mother
576
00:39:22,942 --> 00:39:25,611
in order to keep her
from taking Zach away.
577
00:39:25,695 --> 00:39:28,115
Oh, my God.
578
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:32,995
I mean, I knew Mary Alice had
killed herself over something big,
579
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,456
but wow.
580
00:39:35,581 --> 00:39:38,375
Can you imagine living with that guilt?
581
00:39:38,500 --> 00:39:42,714
Isn't it bizarre that Paul and Mary
Alice had this secret all these years,
582
00:39:42,839 --> 00:39:44,674
and we didn't even know about it?
583
00:39:44,799 --> 00:39:47,010
No, not really.
584
00:39:47,135 --> 00:39:49,971
I mean, what do we actually
know about our neighbours?
585
00:39:50,096 --> 00:39:52,307
We can tell
if they keep their lawns nice
586
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:54,225
or if they take their trash cans in.
587
00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:57,605
But when they do those things,
we stop asking questions
588
00:39:57,605 --> 00:39:59,857
cos if people are good neighbours...
589
00:39:59,982 --> 00:40:03,736
We don't really care
what happens behind closed doors.
590
00:40:03,861 --> 00:40:05,321
[piano music]
591
00:40:05,446 --> 00:40:08,699
[Mary Alice] It had been
one year since my suicide...
592
00:40:08,699 --> 00:40:10,659
Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
593
00:40:10,784 --> 00:40:14,456
... and a lot had changed
on Wisteria Lane.
594
00:40:14,581 --> 00:40:16,833
There were new flowers,
595
00:40:16,958 --> 00:40:20,670
new houses and new neighbours,
596
00:40:20,795 --> 00:40:25,425
the kind anyone would want,
living right next door.
597
00:40:31,265 --> 00:40:34,602
- Is that another hymn?
- I know, it's silly,
598
00:40:34,727 --> 00:40:38,814
but playing those songs today
at the funeral just got me in the mood.
599
00:40:38,940 --> 00:40:43,820
This is your grandmother's favourite.
Did you remember butter?
600
00:40:43,946 --> 00:40:48,617
- I make up this tray every night.
- 'Course you do. I'm sorry.
601
00:40:49,451 --> 00:40:52,788
Oh, look. You added a flower.
602
00:40:54,331 --> 00:40:55,750
Thought it'd be nice.
603
00:40:57,794 --> 00:41:01,297
How did I get so lucky
to have a child like you?
604
00:41:01,422 --> 00:41:03,633
You really do try to think of others.
605
00:41:03,758 --> 00:41:08,304
That flower is a small act of kindness
you thought no one would notice,
606
00:41:08,429 --> 00:41:12,893
and yet you did it anyway.
It says a lot about how you were raised.
607
00:41:14,144 --> 00:41:17,773
- Well, I guess you did your job.
- I guess so.
608
00:41:24,364 --> 00:41:28,243
I'll get the tray. You take the gun.
609
00:42:15,042 --> 00:42:17,879
It really is a lovely gesture.
610
00:42:24,428 --> 00:42:26,764
[door locking]