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[Mary Alice] Previously
on Desperate Housewives:
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00:00:04,556 --> 00:00:05,599
As one affair ends...
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00:00:05,724 --> 00:00:08,895
We don't have to sneak around.
We can have a real relationship.
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...another begins.
- Edie!
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I asked if she'd like
to live together. She said yes.
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- And yet another...
- This is Rex's mother, Phyllis.
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00:00:16,153 --> 00:00:19,448
- Claims. This is Joe Flannery.
- [Phyllis] My daughter-in-law
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- has a boyfriend.
...is exposed.
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It won't break your heart
to leave those sad faces?
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And while some people can't wait
to get out of the house,
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others are being kept
there against their will.
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Which one is Rex's headstone?
I always forget.
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It's right down this row.
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Oh! Oh, yes. That's right.
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[Mary Alice] Over the years,
Bree Van De Kamp
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had grown increasingly concerned
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over her mother-in-law's forgetfulness.
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Oh, honey, did I forget to take
the pins out of that dress?
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Her lapses had become more frequent...
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[laughs]
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Sweetie, didn't I tell you
I was gonna paint that chair?
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... more glaring...
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[sighs]
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Oh, dear. Didn't I mention
I waxed the floor?
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... and more dangerous.
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Yes, Bree was worried
about Phyllis's faulty memory.
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But she was more than happy
to remind her.
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Especially when it came
to the important things.
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So have you given any thought
to when you might be ending your visit?
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- What?
- Have I become a burden?
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Is that what you're saying?
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I was simply asking
when you were planning to leave.
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There was no agenda
behind the question.
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Oh, I... I don't know.
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Why don't we play it by ear.
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Yes. Let's.
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What on earth?
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Oh, my God. What happened?
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It looks like someone dug Rex up.
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Well, I got that. But why?
Why would they do that?
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Why, I don't know.
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Unless...
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Unless what?
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Maybe this has something to do
with that insurance investigator.
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Insurance investigator?
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He came by asking
all sorts of questions.
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I don't know what you're talking about.
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Maybe you were at the store.
Anyway, he was very suspicious.
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- Suspicious?
- Oh, yes.
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He has a theory that Rex
didn't die of a heart attack.
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He thinks he was poisoned.
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[Mary Alice] It was in that moment
Bree could finally see the truth.
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Did I not mention that?
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Her mother-in-law's memory was fine.
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It was her soul that was faulty.
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[Mary Alice] The parties took place
on the front lawn of 4347 Wisteria Lane
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every Sunday afternoon.
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Chloe Pendergast
would bring the tea set,
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which was appropriate,
since she was the hostess.
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Brittany Kreiss provided formal attire
from her mother's closet.
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[girl] How are you?
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And Marissa Ann McKay
invited the additional guests,
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some of whom hadn't been
to a party in years.
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Of course, it never occurred
to the three young girls
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that while they were busy
playing out their fantasy...
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... one of the older girls
in the neighbourhood
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was engaging in a fantasy of her own.
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[exhales]
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[sighs]
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- Hey.
- Oh, hi, Mrs Solis.
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- Ralph.
- Off to the mall again?
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You know me.
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[Mary Alice] There was nothing
Gabrielle enjoyed as much as shopping.
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And even when she
couldn't afford to take anything home,
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she took satisfaction in looking...
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... at the merchandise.
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Hey, Susan. What's going on?
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It's Karl's weekend to have Julie,
and they're always back by six.
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That's our custody agreement.
And it's after six.
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- It's like 6.15.
- Well, see? There you go.
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I'm sure they just forgot.
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Well, I have a court order.
It's out of my hands.
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It'd still be nice
if you gave them a grace period.
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Oh, I'm being nice.
I could have him arrested.
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I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm
all for Julie spending time with Karl.
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He is still her dad, and she loves him.
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- But?
- But he's with Edie!
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I mean, she's not exactly
the maternal type.
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I wouldn't be a good mother
if I wasn't concerned.
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Who knows what passes
for a kid-friendly good time in there?
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- Drugs? Porn? Smoking?
- [guitar playing]
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[Julie] # Let it shine, shine, shine
Let it shine
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Doesn't sound like they're
having an orgy in there.
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[Julie] # All through the night
I'm gonna let it shine
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# All through the night
I'm gonna let it shine
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Well, obviously they saw us coming.
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[Julie] # Let it shine, shine, shine
Let it shine #
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- [grunts]
- Whoo! That's a strike.
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- Hey, guys!
- Hey, Mommy.
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Hey! Look who's here.
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Parker, guess what I got.
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- What?
- School supplies.
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- School supplies?
- Yeah.
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And the best part of it is, I got you
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a really cool backpack.
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Whoa, look at that. Pretty neat, huh?
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Wow. Thanks.
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So on your first day of school,
you and your dad can find your cubby,
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and you can hang it up.
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You're not taking me?
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Your dad's gonna take you
to school on your first day.
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Just me and you, big guy.
I'll be right there to hold your hand.
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But I thought Mommy was taking me.
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Yeah, well, honey, I have to work.
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Mommy's boss is a mean, mean lady,
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and if I miss work, I'll lose my job.
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And then we won't have
any money to buy food.
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Honey, you gotta believe me.
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If I could be there,
you know that I would.
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[sighs] Mmm.
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All right.
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I didn't know it was that important.
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I will talk to my boss,
and I will see what I can do.
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Thank you, Mommy.
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Wow, I don't wanna rain on your parade,
but he just totally manipulated you.
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Well, hey, when a kid's that good,
you gotta give him his due.
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An autopsy? Detective,
Rex died of a heart attack.
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Well, there were some anomalies
in the doctor's report.
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Anomalies? What anomalies?
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Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm not at liberty
to discuss this any further with you.
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- Am I a suspect?
- I didn't say that.
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Well, if I am,
you're wasting your time.
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I loved Rex, and anyone who knows me
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will tell you that I was
incapable of hurting him.
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You sure about that?
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You talked to Phyllis!
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Again, I can't discuss the case.
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She's my mother-in-law. Of course
she said horrible things about me.
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Lower your voice.
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She blamed me
for every problem Rex and I had.
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So there were problems?
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It was a marriage.
Of course there were problems.
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May I record this, so there's
no confusion over your statement?
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- No, you may not record this!
- You refuse to make a statement?
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I'm not refusing anything.
I'm saying, stay away from Phyllis!
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She's a... she's a raving loon!
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Ma'am, perhaps you'd be more comfortable
with an attorney present.
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You want a statement?
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Fine. I'll give you a statement.
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My husband died of a heart attack.
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I loved him very deeply.
And your mother did a lousy job!
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[panting]
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[Mary Alice] To Bree's way of thinking,
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there were two kinds
of people in the world.
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Those who were useless
before their morning coffee...
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... and those who weren't.
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What's going on?
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[stammering] Don't rush me, Bree!
I'm an old woman.
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00:10:23,097 --> 00:10:24,765
Don't rush me.
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Get her out of here.
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I will tell you one thing.
You wouldn't be acting this way
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if you didn't feel guilty
about something!
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[buzzing]
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What's the occasion?
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Uh, our anniversary.
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Oh, right.
167
00:10:49,961 --> 00:10:51,963
How could you forget our anniversary?
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You sit in a cell all day long
staring at a calendar!
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What's the big deal?
Our marriage was a sham anyway.
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- Not this again.
- In real marriages, wives are faithful.
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00:11:01,599 --> 00:11:05,145
Yeah, and husbands remember
anniversaries. So I guess we're even.
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00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:08,064
You equate forgetting
our anniversary with cheating?
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You are clearly determined
to ruin this special day for us.
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What is wrong
that you don't feel guilty?
175
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- I feel tons of guilt, so back off!
- You never even apologised.
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I apologised a million times.
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But you always followed it up
with an excuse.
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"I was lonely." "You weren't home."
"A woman needs to be loved."
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00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,712
A woman does need to be loved.
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00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:31,091
And since you didn't give it to me,
I had to find it elsewhere.
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00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:36,598
So that's what the teenager
was doing in our bedroom.
182
00:11:36,723 --> 00:11:38,808
Filling you with love.
183
00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:43,230
Say what you want, but John Rowland
loved me like no one ever has.
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Not as a trophy or as a possession,
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but for me. He loved me.
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[laughs]
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No, he really did.
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Hmm.
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Let me count the ways.
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00:11:56,036 --> 00:12:00,333
Um, gently, savagely,
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00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:02,919
frequently, upside down...
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00:12:04,505 --> 00:12:05,798
Is there a problem here?
193
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:10,094
No. It's our anniversary.
194
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:12,806
We're just reliving the good times.
195
00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:25,112
That's an amazing car.
Aston Martin, right?
196
00:12:25,237 --> 00:12:27,197
Uh-huh. Brand-new. Limited edition.
197
00:12:27,322 --> 00:12:29,699
A little anniversary present
from my husband.
198
00:12:29,825 --> 00:12:31,536
He's very generous.
199
00:12:31,661 --> 00:12:34,038
More than he knows.
200
00:12:34,163 --> 00:12:35,164
I'm sorry, what?
201
00:12:35,289 --> 00:12:37,876
I'm singing at church
for the Family Follies.
202
00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:41,255
Edie's going to accompany me
on guitar. She's really good.
203
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:44,675
So you and Edie are gonna be an act.
204
00:12:44,801 --> 00:12:46,261
Is that a problem?
205
00:12:46,386 --> 00:12:48,930
No! No.
206
00:12:49,639 --> 00:12:54,436
I mean, I'm a little surprised that you
didn't ask me to accompany you first.
207
00:12:54,562 --> 00:12:57,773
[laughs] On what?
You don't play an instrument.
208
00:12:57,898 --> 00:12:59,693
I play the piano. You know that.
209
00:12:59,818 --> 00:13:02,237
How would I know that?
I've never seen you play.
210
00:13:02,362 --> 00:13:03,864
Well, I played in high school.
211
00:13:03,989 --> 00:13:07,577
So the last time you tickled the ivories
was sometime in the late '70s?
212
00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:08,911
It was the early '80s.
213
00:13:09,829 --> 00:13:12,875
Well, I'm not gonna argue with you.
214
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,086
You want to do the show with Edie,
and I think that's super.
215
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,508
So she's really good, huh?
216
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,427
She knows her guitar.
217
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:27,099
Apparently there were a lot of musicians
in her family, like the Von Trapps.
218
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,309
Hmm.
219
00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:30,644
Except, you know, her brother OD'd.
220
00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:36,568
All I'm asking is to play a little ball.
Is that such a big deal?
221
00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:38,987
Matthew, you are
such an excellent player,
222
00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:41,198
that people will want
to be your friend.
223
00:13:41,324 --> 00:13:42,825
Then the next thing you know,
224
00:13:42,950 --> 00:13:46,579
God knows who will be
wanting to drop by and calling.
225
00:13:46,704 --> 00:13:48,582
Sweetie, we need to keep a low profile.
226
00:13:48,707 --> 00:13:51,376
Yeah, but I have got
to get out of this house sometime.
227
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,253
I'm going crazy here. OK?
228
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,840
- [crashing]
- [all screaming]
229
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:58,760
[screaming continues]
230
00:14:18,032 --> 00:14:19,825
[doorbell rings]
231
00:14:29,629 --> 00:14:30,630
What is it?
232
00:14:30,755 --> 00:14:34,133
Um... my daughter
is singing a song at church.
233
00:14:34,258 --> 00:14:37,471
I want to accompany her on
the piano and haven't played in years.
234
00:14:37,596 --> 00:14:40,182
You were so amazing
at Rex's funeral the other day,
235
00:14:40,307 --> 00:14:42,811
- I was wondering...
- I don't give lessons.
236
00:14:42,936 --> 00:14:46,314
Oh... Oh, OK.
237
00:14:48,149 --> 00:14:49,693
Oh!
238
00:14:49,819 --> 00:14:51,987
You have a little... on your...
239
00:14:55,826 --> 00:14:59,037
I'm baking cherry pie. Excuse me.
240
00:15:07,004 --> 00:15:10,217
What happened
to maintaining a low profile?
241
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:14,179
You keep being rude to everybody,
they're gonna start whispering about us.
242
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:18,351
You're right. We do want to fit in.
243
00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:27,278
Lynette! Check it out.
244
00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:30,615
Ahhh...
245
00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:33,076
Jason's mouth. [laughs]
246
00:15:33,201 --> 00:15:34,494
[growling]
247
00:15:35,704 --> 00:15:38,207
Stu, isn't that
the new videoconference setup?
248
00:15:38,332 --> 00:15:41,085
Yeah. Isn't the resolution fantastic?
249
00:15:41,961 --> 00:15:44,381
Ahh. [growls]
250
00:15:45,841 --> 00:15:47,384
- Hey, Nina.
- Mm-hm.
251
00:15:47,509 --> 00:15:50,179
Uh... about tomorrow morning.
252
00:15:50,262 --> 00:15:51,514
Mm-hm.
253
00:15:51,639 --> 00:15:55,226
You know how the first hour of
the morning meeting is always so slow?
254
00:15:55,351 --> 00:15:57,020
Cos I've got this thing...
255
00:15:57,145 --> 00:16:00,065
Good God! This is not
about your kids again, is it?
256
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,569
I know, I promised I wouldn't do this,
257
00:16:03,694 --> 00:16:08,033
but Parker really needs me to be there
on his first day of kindergarten.
258
00:16:08,158 --> 00:16:12,246
- He's freaked out I can't be there...
- I'm sorry. How is this my problem?
259
00:16:13,831 --> 00:16:16,709
Because we can't escape
the fact that I have kids.
260
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:20,380
I love my job, but to be fair,
there's got to be some balance.
261
00:16:20,505 --> 00:16:24,301
OK, how about the people
that don't have the kids?
262
00:16:24,426 --> 00:16:27,764
Did you ever consider that they
might need balance in their lives?
263
00:16:27,889 --> 00:16:29,641
Maybe they want to go see a matinee.
264
00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:33,062
Perhaps they want to come
in late after a big crazy night out.
265
00:16:33,187 --> 00:16:35,189
Or maybe they just want
to get a haircut,
266
00:16:35,314 --> 00:16:38,233
which I myself have not
been able to do for two months.
267
00:16:38,359 --> 00:16:40,570
So no, this is about fairness
to the people
268
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,990
who are childless by choice. OK?
269
00:16:44,115 --> 00:16:46,160
OK. Good point.
270
00:16:51,207 --> 00:16:53,085
And I'm sorry about your hair.
271
00:16:54,252 --> 00:16:56,630
I can see why you're upset.
272
00:16:59,341 --> 00:17:02,011
- Open wide.
- Not now, Stu.
273
00:17:04,430 --> 00:17:06,224
Hang on a sec.
274
00:17:07,142 --> 00:17:08,852
I don't understand.
275
00:17:08,977 --> 00:17:12,940
This system is gonna let Mommy be
with you on your first day of school.
276
00:17:16,111 --> 00:17:18,279
The resolution is fantastic.
277
00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:19,989
[groans]
278
00:17:25,663 --> 00:17:30,085
[Mary Alice] The next day, Gabrielle
decided to cheer herself up
279
00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:33,130
with another round
of window-shopping.
280
00:17:36,259 --> 00:17:39,178
But this time, she was taken aback
281
00:17:39,303 --> 00:17:42,683
by what was on display.
282
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:16,847
- [woman moaning]
- [kissing]
283
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,945
[buzzing]
284
00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:57,810
- Mrs Tillman.
- Mr Delfino.
285
00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:01,606
I heard you were back from
the hospital. I brought you these.
286
00:19:01,731 --> 00:19:05,778
I can't tell you how long it's been
since I got flowers from a handsome man.
287
00:19:05,903 --> 00:19:10,282
I mean, I could,
but I don't want your pity. [laughs]
288
00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:15,330
Where are you off to?
289
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,290
I'm going back to Utah for a few weeks.
290
00:19:17,415 --> 00:19:21,045
The recuperation is taking longer
than the doctors anticipated.
291
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:25,050
Speaking of my attack, have they
caught young Zachary yet?
292
00:19:25,175 --> 00:19:28,053
No. Actually, that's why I'm here.
293
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:32,100
So the flowers
were just a ruse. Figures.
294
00:19:32,225 --> 00:19:35,061
I'm trying to find Zach
before he gets into more trouble.
295
00:19:35,186 --> 00:19:38,649
Do you know any friends he might have,
anywhere he might be holed up?
296
00:19:38,774 --> 00:19:40,317
I know you were close to him.
297
00:19:40,442 --> 00:19:43,404
Funny thing. Since he beat me
and threw me down the stairs,
298
00:19:43,529 --> 00:19:45,615
we just don't stay in touch
like we should.
299
00:19:48,326 --> 00:19:50,745
Since when do you care so much
about Zach Young?
300
00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:52,623
It's complicated.
301
00:19:52,748 --> 00:19:54,083
I'll bet.
302
00:19:56,043 --> 00:20:00,090
I'm sure he's out there somewhere,
trying to find his father.
303
00:20:00,215 --> 00:20:02,384
Which I trust you made impossible.
304
00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:07,890
No. I let Paul go.
I couldn't go through with it.
305
00:20:10,226 --> 00:20:11,811
That was a mistake.
306
00:20:12,895 --> 00:20:15,774
He will spend the rest of his life
running from the police.
307
00:20:15,899 --> 00:20:18,068
I think that's punishment enough.
308
00:20:18,193 --> 00:20:22,115
Zach is the only connection
that Paul has with his dead wife.
309
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,160
At some point,
he will run back here looking for him.
310
00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:32,835
I don't like to be negative,
but you really should have killed him.
311
00:20:42,805 --> 00:20:47,435
At the risk of ruining a lovely evening,
I have some unpleasant news.
312
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,940
The police dug up your father today.
313
00:20:53,108 --> 00:20:54,569
- What?
- Why?
314
00:20:54,694 --> 00:20:57,864
Well, apparently they
want to do an autopsy.
315
00:20:57,989 --> 00:21:01,827
They don't think he had a heart attack.
They think somebody was poisoning him.
316
00:21:01,952 --> 00:21:06,207
- Who would have poisoned Daddy?
- Well, apparently, I'm a suspect.
317
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:14,090
Well, they always look at spouses first.
It has something to do with statistics.
318
00:21:15,468 --> 00:21:18,638
It's just a formality.
I'll be cleared in no time.
319
00:21:20,097 --> 00:21:22,601
Would you two
stop looking at me like that?
320
00:21:22,726 --> 00:21:25,979
Obviously, I did not kill your father!
I loved him deeply.
321
00:21:25,979 --> 00:21:28,899
But you and Dad had a lot of problems.
Everyone knows that.
322
00:21:29,025 --> 00:21:31,736
Yes, we had issues,
but I would never have hurt him.
323
00:21:31,861 --> 00:21:34,197
The night Daddy
had his second heart attack?
324
00:21:34,322 --> 00:21:37,701
You loved him a lot to make the bed
before taking him to the hospital.
325
00:21:37,826 --> 00:21:40,538
I was in shock, Danielle. You know that.
326
00:21:43,208 --> 00:21:46,586
Andrew, surely you
don't think I murdered your father.
327
00:21:46,711 --> 00:21:50,299
Oh, I know you didn't.
You're not capable of murder.
328
00:21:50,424 --> 00:21:53,469
- Thank you.
- That wasn't a compliment.
329
00:21:55,471 --> 00:21:57,683
It takes guts to kill somebody.
330
00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:01,687
[piano music]
331
00:22:01,812 --> 00:22:04,607
Thank you for changing
your mind about helping me.
332
00:22:04,732 --> 00:22:06,359
I really appreciate it.
333
00:22:06,484 --> 00:22:08,444
I'm happy to help.
334
00:22:08,569 --> 00:22:11,949
And... I'm sorry
if I seemed rude before.
335
00:22:12,074 --> 00:22:14,326
I... I was having a bad day.
336
00:22:15,577 --> 00:22:18,248
[piano echoing]
337
00:22:20,417 --> 00:22:23,086
That's good. That's really good.
338
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:25,339
You might want to lay off the pedal.
339
00:22:26,090 --> 00:22:29,427
Really? Oh, I thought it made
it sound more professional.
340
00:22:29,552 --> 00:22:30,720
It doesn't.
341
00:22:30,845 --> 00:22:33,849
[muted hip-hop music plays]
342
00:22:36,435 --> 00:22:39,522
Boy, your son really likes
to play his hip-hop music loud.
343
00:22:40,982 --> 00:22:44,820
The good news is it drowns out
the sound of the dryer.
344
00:22:48,657 --> 00:22:50,951
[Betty] Arch your fingers, Susan.
345
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:55,874
[loud hip-hop music plays]
346
00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:01,589
[drill buzzing]
347
00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:13,227
[Julie] # Let it shine, shine, shine
Let it shine #
348
00:23:13,352 --> 00:23:14,937
[clapping]
349
00:23:15,063 --> 00:23:19,275
Hi. I'm sorry to interrupt. I knocked,
but I guess you guys didn't hear me.
350
00:23:19,401 --> 00:23:23,864
No, we heard you. We were just hoping
that whoever it was would go away.
351
00:23:23,989 --> 00:23:25,699
I'm still hoping that'll happen.
352
00:23:25,824 --> 00:23:27,368
What's up, Mom?
353
00:23:28,161 --> 00:23:29,537
Well, I have good news.
354
00:23:29,662 --> 00:23:32,665
Um, I've been taking piano lessons
with Betty Applewhite,
355
00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:36,003
and, uh... Well, I just thought
maybe I could join you guys.
356
00:23:36,128 --> 00:23:38,214
Like a trio. Doesn't that sound fun?
357
00:23:38,339 --> 00:23:41,384
I don't do trios. But thanks anyway.
358
00:23:42,427 --> 00:23:45,847
Well, I don't mean to be
technical here, but this show?
359
00:23:45,972 --> 00:23:48,518
I mean, it really is supposed
to be a family thing.
360
00:23:48,643 --> 00:23:50,978
And I hate to point out,
you're not family.
361
00:23:51,103 --> 00:23:56,360
No, but I have talent. And to most
audiences, talent trumps family.
362
00:23:56,485 --> 00:23:59,446
[Susan] Well, what makes you
so sure I don't have talent?
363
00:24:00,364 --> 00:24:02,909
Mm-mm. Just a hunch.
364
00:24:03,535 --> 00:24:07,372
Yeah, well, we've all seen your talent,
which is a nice way of telling you,
365
00:24:07,497 --> 00:24:09,875
- "Put curtains on your bedroom window."
- Guys!
366
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,921
Be honest. You didn't want any part of
this until you found out I was involved.
367
00:24:14,046 --> 00:24:15,465
That is so not true.
368
00:24:15,590 --> 00:24:19,719
Oh, yes, it is. It burns you that your
own daughter picked me over you.
369
00:24:19,845 --> 00:24:23,307
She did not pick you. It just didn't
occur to her I would agree to do it.
370
00:24:23,432 --> 00:24:26,602
Now she knows, and if she had
it to do over again, she'd pick me.
371
00:24:26,727 --> 00:24:27,979
No, she wouldn't.
372
00:24:28,104 --> 00:24:31,483
Why don't we put it to a test? Who
would you rather have play with you?
373
00:24:31,608 --> 00:24:34,444
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
- [Susan] No, it's OK, honey.
374
00:24:34,570 --> 00:24:38,116
Who do you want to be with you
in the family talent show?
375
00:24:38,241 --> 00:24:42,454
Yes. Who do you want with you
in front of all of those people?
376
00:24:42,580 --> 00:24:46,333
And remember, it's church.
They are going to be judging you.
377
00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:51,631
OK.
378
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:53,800
Well, first of all, you both suck.
379
00:24:54,634 --> 00:24:57,138
But if I had to choose...
380
00:24:58,848 --> 00:25:01,601
...I guess I'd... pick my mom.
381
00:25:02,727 --> 00:25:04,104
Sorry, Edie.
382
00:25:04,229 --> 00:25:05,647
Fair enough.
383
00:25:06,982 --> 00:25:09,318
I'd like my pitch pipe back, please.
384
00:25:11,487 --> 00:25:13,823
[wind chimes]
385
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,828
It was you, wasn't it?
386
00:25:17,953 --> 00:25:20,331
Hello, John. Long time, no see.
387
00:25:20,456 --> 00:25:23,501
One of the neighbours saw
an Aston Martin driving away,
388
00:25:23,626 --> 00:25:25,128
and what do you know?
389
00:25:25,253 --> 00:25:29,049
Well, someone had to tend to the yard.
You were busy elsewhere.
390
00:25:30,175 --> 00:25:31,844
- You saw us?
- Yes.
391
00:25:31,969 --> 00:25:35,639
She's old enough to be your mother.
Hell, she's old enough to be my mother!
392
00:25:35,765 --> 00:25:36,974
Joan's only 41.
393
00:25:37,099 --> 00:25:39,353
Joan? You're calling her Joan?
394
00:25:39,478 --> 00:25:42,272
- Why shouldn't I? She's my friend.
- I know your friends,
395
00:25:42,397 --> 00:25:46,152
and you don't do to your friends what I
saw you doing to that wrinkly old lady!
396
00:25:46,277 --> 00:25:49,989
OK! So you caught me doing it with
somebody else. What's the big deal?
397
00:25:50,114 --> 00:25:53,077
- You're supposed to be in love with me!
- What?
398
00:25:53,202 --> 00:25:57,122
How many times did you whisper,
"You're the only woman I'll ever love"?
399
00:25:57,247 --> 00:25:58,917
I don't know. A bunch.
400
00:25:59,042 --> 00:26:01,211
Were you lying?
Trying to get me into bed?
401
00:26:01,336 --> 00:26:05,007
No, of course not.
I loved you, but we broke up.
402
00:26:05,132 --> 00:26:08,427
Five minutes ago! Haven't you
ever heard of a mourning period?
403
00:26:08,886 --> 00:26:12,265
I know it seems quick,
but I have feelings for her.
404
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,560
In fact, I think
I may be in love with her.
405
00:26:19,607 --> 00:26:20,942
Oh, my God.
406
00:26:21,067 --> 00:26:22,944
What's the matter? Is it the baby?
407
00:26:23,069 --> 00:26:24,695
No.
408
00:26:26,406 --> 00:26:28,617
Oh, no, no. It's me.
409
00:26:29,743 --> 00:26:32,539
I am beyond stupid!
410
00:26:32,664 --> 00:26:35,416
[sighs] You're not stupid.
411
00:26:35,542 --> 00:26:37,377
Oh, no, I am.
412
00:26:37,502 --> 00:26:41,298
Yesterday I was still fantasising
that it could work with you,
413
00:26:41,423 --> 00:26:43,592
that a one-bedroom apartment
might be cosy.
414
00:26:43,717 --> 00:26:46,220
- Mrs Solis, please...
- Oh, my God.
415
00:26:46,346 --> 00:26:49,641
I almost left my husband
for someone who calls me Mrs Solis.
416
00:26:57,024 --> 00:27:00,404
So, are you upset because
you want to get back together?
417
00:27:00,529 --> 00:27:02,948
Because I can break up with Joan.
418
00:27:04,992 --> 00:27:07,120
That's OK, sweetie. I'm good.
419
00:27:16,797 --> 00:27:17,965
So this is it for us?
420
00:27:19,884 --> 00:27:22,470
I really feel like we
should end it better than this.
421
00:27:22,596 --> 00:27:26,600
Actually, John, given how
stupid both of us have been,
422
00:27:26,725 --> 00:27:30,187
this is an entirely appropriate ending.
423
00:27:44,495 --> 00:27:46,873
Mrs Van De Kamp. What can I do for you?
424
00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:49,543
I would like to submit myself
to a lie detector test
425
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:53,047
to eliminate any uncertainty
about what happened with my husband.
426
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:55,049
Sure you don't want a lawyer present?
427
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:59,095
I'll waive all that. My only stipulation
is that I want my children
428
00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:01,222
to be able to see me
answer the questions.
429
00:28:02,224 --> 00:28:04,769
I think we can accommodate you.
430
00:28:04,894 --> 00:28:07,313
Is your name Bree Van De Kamp?
431
00:28:07,438 --> 00:28:09,024
Yes.
432
00:28:09,149 --> 00:28:11,401
Were you married to Rex Van De Kamp?
433
00:28:11,902 --> 00:28:13,779
Yes.
434
00:28:13,904 --> 00:28:16,783
Did you and your husband
temporarily separate last year?
435
00:28:16,908 --> 00:28:18,368
Yes.
436
00:28:18,493 --> 00:28:19,952
Did you kill your husband?
437
00:28:20,078 --> 00:28:21,663
No.
438
00:28:26,001 --> 00:28:28,462
Do you know a man
named George Williams?
439
00:28:30,423 --> 00:28:32,008
Yes.
440
00:28:32,133 --> 00:28:34,302
During your separation
from your husband,
441
00:28:34,427 --> 00:28:37,098
did you have a relationship
with Mr Williams?
442
00:28:37,223 --> 00:28:39,225
What does that have to do with anything?
443
00:28:40,059 --> 00:28:42,228
Just yes or no responses, please.
444
00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:46,942
Well, I'm not gonna respond to something
that's none of your business.
445
00:28:47,067 --> 00:28:50,988
Mrs Van De Kamp, if you want us
to take this polygraph seriously,
446
00:28:51,114 --> 00:28:53,783
answer the questions we ask. OK?
447
00:28:57,413 --> 00:28:59,206
Who's George Williams?
448
00:28:59,331 --> 00:29:01,875
He's our pharmacist.
449
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:06,256
During your separation, did you have
a relationship with Mr Williams?
450
00:29:06,381 --> 00:29:07,549
Yes.
451
00:29:09,217 --> 00:29:11,094
Are you in love with Mr Williams?
452
00:29:11,804 --> 00:29:14,974
- What?
- Are you in love with Mr Williams?
453
00:29:16,308 --> 00:29:17,393
No.
454
00:29:22,732 --> 00:29:25,695
Um, I... I was thinking
of something else just then.
455
00:29:25,820 --> 00:29:28,239
So why don't you
ask me the question again.
456
00:29:29,740 --> 00:29:32,077
Are you in love with Mr Williams?
457
00:29:32,202 --> 00:29:33,454
No.
458
00:29:39,169 --> 00:29:40,545
Did you see that?
459
00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:43,798
Yeah. I saw it.
460
00:29:57,314 --> 00:30:00,526
Hello, Susan.
Are you ready for your lesson?
461
00:30:00,651 --> 00:30:04,363
Yep. I am. I think I'm gonna make
another push for using that pedal.
462
00:30:04,488 --> 00:30:05,948
I think it adds grandeur.
463
00:30:06,073 --> 00:30:07,910
[car horn honking]
464
00:30:08,994 --> 00:30:11,997
- I wanna talk to you.
- I'm busy now.
465
00:30:12,122 --> 00:30:15,835
I cannot believe you kicked Edie
out of Julie's performance!
466
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,922
I did not kick Edie out.
Julie made that call.
467
00:30:19,047 --> 00:30:21,008
Because you played the "mom" card!
468
00:30:21,133 --> 00:30:24,345
Well, it is a family recital,
and Edie is not family.
469
00:30:24,470 --> 00:30:26,889
- One day she could be.
- Don't even joke like that.
470
00:30:27,015 --> 00:30:30,393
How about your
plumberlconvicted murderer, huh?
471
00:30:30,518 --> 00:30:33,104
He seems to keep popping up
at "family" events.
472
00:30:33,229 --> 00:30:36,317
Not murder, it was manslaughter.
That's totally different.
473
00:30:36,442 --> 00:30:38,945
We don't live together.
He cares about Julie.
474
00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:42,699
So does Edie! She was really looking
forward to performing with Julie.
475
00:30:42,824 --> 00:30:46,078
If you think Edie Britt cares
about anybody other than herself,
476
00:30:46,203 --> 00:30:49,916
you are living in a fool's paradise.
You don't know her the way I do,
477
00:30:50,041 --> 00:30:54,003
and the only reason she's interested
in Julie is to mess with my head.
478
00:30:54,672 --> 00:30:58,425
[laughing] Hey, that's both crazy
and self-absorbed.
479
00:30:58,550 --> 00:31:00,427
That's a twofer! Way to go!
480
00:31:03,306 --> 00:31:06,685
Whether you choose to believe it or not,
they're great together.
481
00:31:06,810 --> 00:31:09,480
And if you don't believe me, ask Julie.
482
00:31:20,325 --> 00:31:22,829
I'm sorry you had to witness that.
483
00:31:24,539 --> 00:31:26,290
Oh, it's OK, hon.
484
00:31:27,041 --> 00:31:30,254
I have lived my share
of family knockdown-dragouts.
485
00:31:30,379 --> 00:31:33,799
Well, I hope it wasn't
as ugly as me and Karl.
486
00:31:33,924 --> 00:31:35,300
You'd be surprised.
487
00:31:36,136 --> 00:31:39,180
Parker? Honey, can you hear me?
488
00:31:39,305 --> 00:31:40,890
Tom, why isn't he talking?
489
00:31:41,015 --> 00:31:43,602
There are a lot of kids here.
He's a little stressed.
490
00:31:43,728 --> 00:31:45,980
- Parker, say hi. Say hi.
- Mommy?
491
00:31:46,105 --> 00:31:48,566
Oh, hey, honey!
492
00:31:48,691 --> 00:31:51,987
This is so exciting!
Your first day of school.
493
00:31:52,112 --> 00:31:54,072
You're gonna make so many friends.
494
00:31:54,197 --> 00:31:56,575
Lynette. Staff meeting. Now.
495
00:31:56,701 --> 00:31:59,704
Right. Yeah. I'm gonna be right there.
496
00:31:59,829 --> 00:32:01,998
Now, now, now, now!
497
00:32:03,416 --> 00:32:05,502
Stu, this coffee is cold.
498
00:32:06,420 --> 00:32:08,130
Honey, I'm gonna be right back.
499
00:32:09,089 --> 00:32:10,800
Mommy, where are you going?
500
00:32:10,925 --> 00:32:12,385
Right back!
501
00:32:12,510 --> 00:32:14,345
Mommy, come back.
502
00:32:15,513 --> 00:32:17,850
OK, let's turn to page five.
503
00:32:19,018 --> 00:32:21,145
Damn! I forgot my prospectus.
504
00:32:21,270 --> 00:32:24,524
Any extra copies? No? Be right back.
505
00:32:26,693 --> 00:32:28,695
Hi, I'm back. How's he doing?
506
00:32:29,488 --> 00:32:32,992
Honey, he's upset because he wanted
to show you his cubby. You left.
507
00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:36,829
Oh, honey, I'm here. I'm here.
You can show me your cubby now.
508
00:32:36,954 --> 00:32:39,625
Nina found extra copies.
She wants you back now.
509
00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:42,961
OK... I'll be back
in two seconds, sweetie.
510
00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:45,048
Mommy, Mommy, don't go!
511
00:32:46,090 --> 00:32:49,385
So the big issue here
is second-quarter billing.
512
00:32:49,511 --> 00:32:51,554
- Where are you going?
- Ladies' room.
513
00:32:51,679 --> 00:32:53,641
- No.
- Nina, nature is calling.
514
00:32:53,766 --> 00:32:57,269
Lynette, hold it for ten minutes.
We have to get though this.
515
00:33:07,031 --> 00:33:10,409
What I'd like to do is trade out
the invoicing structure.
516
00:33:10,534 --> 00:33:13,705
Let's take a look at our graphs
on page ten, please.
517
00:33:13,830 --> 00:33:19,086
[Mary Alice] Lynette had been struggling
to balance her career and her family.
518
00:33:19,211 --> 00:33:21,714
She finally saw an opportunity
519
00:33:22,048 --> 00:33:24,300
to tip the scales in her favour.
520
00:33:24,425 --> 00:33:28,389
[Nina]... badgering clients with
invoices on short-term campaigns,
521
00:33:28,514 --> 00:33:30,474
- I say we bill on delivery.
- Yes!
522
00:33:31,517 --> 00:33:34,354
Bill on delivery! Yes!
523
00:33:34,479 --> 00:33:36,189
Are you having a seizure?
524
00:33:36,314 --> 00:33:39,693
No. No, I'm just... I'm very excited.
525
00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:41,153
It's a really good plan.
526
00:33:42,738 --> 00:33:44,907
Yeah.
527
00:33:45,032 --> 00:33:47,285
Now, what happened
on the Berman account
528
00:33:47,411 --> 00:33:51,623
is that they were sent duplicate bills
by Tina and Ron in Accounting.
529
00:33:51,748 --> 00:33:54,585
And I'm not pointing any fingers,
but Tina, Ron,
530
00:33:54,711 --> 00:33:58,172
about walking in and seeing
all my lines lit up with disgruntled...
531
00:33:58,297 --> 00:34:00,758
Ow! Oh! Hot! Hot!
532
00:34:00,884 --> 00:34:02,219
[panting]
533
00:34:02,344 --> 00:34:04,638
Help! Stu!
534
00:34:05,848 --> 00:34:08,727
That's why we packed you
extra cookies, so you could share
535
00:34:08,852 --> 00:34:12,939
- with all your new friends. Remember?
- [Tom] I think we're good to go now.
536
00:34:14,065 --> 00:34:17,236
You're gonna be great, Parker.
[kissing sound] I love you.
537
00:34:17,361 --> 00:34:18,612
I love you too, Mommy.
538
00:34:18,738 --> 00:34:20,239
[kissing sound]
539
00:34:34,672 --> 00:34:36,550
Bree. Hi! What can I do for you?
540
00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:39,219
For starters,
you can help me prove to the police
541
00:34:39,344 --> 00:34:41,513
that we didn't conspire
to kill my husband.
542
00:34:42,682 --> 00:34:43,975
OK.
543
00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:46,186
[Bree] With the anomalies
in Rex's blood,
544
00:34:46,311 --> 00:34:48,605
the police wondered
if I'd been poisoning Rex.
545
00:34:48,730 --> 00:34:51,525
Absurd. Lots of things
can cause high potassium levels.
546
00:34:51,650 --> 00:34:53,152
Renal failure, low sodium...
547
00:34:53,277 --> 00:34:56,573
That's why I took the polygraph,
to prove to them I was innocent.
548
00:34:56,698 --> 00:34:58,200
Obviously, you passed.
549
00:34:59,659 --> 00:35:00,911
Uh... sort of.
550
00:35:02,037 --> 00:35:04,415
I think the police
now have a different theory,
551
00:35:04,540 --> 00:35:06,918
which is, if I wasn't
poisoning Rex on my own,
552
00:35:07,043 --> 00:35:11,048
then maybe... you were helping me.
553
00:35:11,173 --> 00:35:13,383
- [laughs] You're kidding.
- No.
554
00:35:13,509 --> 00:35:16,094
That's why I need you
to take the polygraph too.
555
00:35:17,931 --> 00:35:18,932
W-What?
556
00:35:19,057 --> 00:35:21,643
It's the quickest way
to prove the police are wrong.
557
00:35:21,768 --> 00:35:24,438
I don't understand. We're just friends.
558
00:35:24,522 --> 00:35:28,067
Why would the police assume
that people in a platonic relationship
559
00:35:28,192 --> 00:35:29,860
would want to murder someone?
560
00:35:32,072 --> 00:35:33,698
Um...
561
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:39,163
Um, during the test, they asked me
some questions about you
562
00:35:39,288 --> 00:35:42,083
and, um... us
and whether we had a relationship.
563
00:35:42,208 --> 00:35:45,212
And I said yes, because it's true.
564
00:35:45,337 --> 00:35:50,008
And then they asked me something else.
Something I hadn't considered.
565
00:35:50,717 --> 00:35:52,595
Which was?
566
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:55,473
They asked me if I loved you.
567
00:35:57,517 --> 00:35:59,395
What did you say?
568
00:36:00,437 --> 00:36:03,107
I said, "No."
569
00:36:03,566 --> 00:36:05,110
Oh.
570
00:36:05,235 --> 00:36:09,281
But according to the polygraph,
that wasn't exactly true.
571
00:36:12,493 --> 00:36:15,329
Well, I don't...
I don't know if that means anything.
572
00:36:15,454 --> 00:36:18,457
Polygraphs aren't completely reliable.
573
00:36:19,459 --> 00:36:23,005
I think, perhaps,
the machine picked up on something.
574
00:36:23,130 --> 00:36:27,135
Something that I wasn't aware of.
575
00:36:29,762 --> 00:36:30,763
Wow.
576
00:36:30,888 --> 00:36:34,685
That's why I need you to take the test
and answer the detective's questions.
577
00:36:34,810 --> 00:36:37,980
I'm not gonna know exactly how
I feel until we put this behind us.
578
00:36:38,105 --> 00:36:40,233
- But then once we do...
- We can move on.
579
00:36:46,323 --> 00:36:47,408
[applause]
580
00:36:47,533 --> 00:36:52,663
Can those Cicarelli sisters dance
or what? Wow, look out Broadway.
581
00:36:52,788 --> 00:36:55,208
Don't forget that we
will have cookies and juice
582
00:36:55,334 --> 00:36:57,627
set up in the basement
after we're done here.
583
00:36:57,753 --> 00:37:00,798
We want to see you all there.
And for our next act,
584
00:37:00,923 --> 00:37:05,261
please welcome the musical stylings
of Julie and Susan Mayer.
585
00:37:05,386 --> 00:37:07,013
[applause, whistling]
586
00:37:07,139 --> 00:37:08,599
Whoo!
587
00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:31,583
[sighs]
588
00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:34,962
I'll be right back.
589
00:37:35,505 --> 00:37:39,050
Oh, I'm just gonna need
a couple of seconds.
590
00:37:39,175 --> 00:37:41,553
So feel free to pray.
591
00:37:43,514 --> 00:37:47,643
Edie, the other day, when I saw you
making music with my family,
592
00:37:47,768 --> 00:37:52,398
I got a little jealous, and I went
a little crazy, and I pushed you out.
593
00:37:52,524 --> 00:37:55,778
Seeing you sitting here today...
594
00:37:55,778 --> 00:37:58,447
Well, I can see how much
you care about Julie,
595
00:38:00,032 --> 00:38:01,450
and she comes first.
596
00:38:02,536 --> 00:38:05,622
And it should be you up there
playing with her and not me.
597
00:38:06,164 --> 00:38:09,000
So... I'm sorry.
598
00:38:09,125 --> 00:38:10,336
Thank you, Susan.
599
00:38:17,761 --> 00:38:22,224
How convenient that you decided this
after I showed up without my guitar.
600
00:38:24,352 --> 00:38:27,105
Well, like I said, I'm sorry.
601
00:38:27,230 --> 00:38:29,315
I wish it could be you up there.
602
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,151
You know, I play piano.
603
00:38:33,988 --> 00:38:37,492
And so let's all welcome Julie Mayer
and her Aunt Edie.
604
00:38:37,617 --> 00:38:39,786
- [Karl whistling] Woo-hoo!
- [applause]
605
00:38:42,205 --> 00:38:43,958
[piano music]
606
00:38:44,083 --> 00:38:45,167
You did a good thing.
607
00:38:46,502 --> 00:38:49,213
Yeah. Well, I try.
608
00:38:49,338 --> 00:38:55,220
- [piano playing off-key]
- # This little light of mine
609
00:38:58,141 --> 00:39:03,062
# I'm gonna let it shine
610
00:39:03,187 --> 00:39:07,901
# This little light of mine
611
00:39:08,027 --> 00:39:12,532
# I'm gonna let it shine
612
00:39:13,241 --> 00:39:16,911
Uhh! Gimme a break.
This thing has like 90 flats in it.
613
00:39:17,829 --> 00:39:20,374
- [sighs]
- Poor Julie.
614
00:39:20,499 --> 00:39:23,461
- [song continues off-key]
- Stop it. You're loving this.
615
00:39:23,586 --> 00:39:26,840
No. Not at all.
616
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:31,303
[Julie] # Let it shine, shine, shine
617
00:39:31,428 --> 00:39:36,768
# Let it shine #
618
00:39:38,353 --> 00:39:40,481
[man] Open up.
619
00:39:49,324 --> 00:39:52,410
So they said you needed to see me.
620
00:39:52,535 --> 00:39:54,789
What is it? What's going on?
621
00:39:56,123 --> 00:39:58,793
Um...
622
00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:01,046
I've been thinking.
623
00:40:02,672 --> 00:40:05,050
You know, about, um...
624
00:40:06,385 --> 00:40:08,763
...everything that happened with John.
625
00:40:08,888 --> 00:40:10,681
And...
626
00:40:12,058 --> 00:40:13,560
And, um...
627
00:40:15,187 --> 00:40:20,693
...I was really selfish and stupid.
628
00:40:24,572 --> 00:40:26,699
And I'm sorry.
629
00:40:28,744 --> 00:40:35,877
[crying] I really am sorry.
630
00:40:35,877 --> 00:40:38,130
[sniffles]
631
00:40:43,803 --> 00:40:47,265
That's all I had to say, really.
632
00:40:49,518 --> 00:40:50,853
You know what?
633
00:40:52,229 --> 00:40:56,025
That is the best anniversary gift
634
00:40:56,151 --> 00:40:58,111
that you've ever given me.
635
00:40:59,279 --> 00:41:02,658
- Really?
- Yeah.
636
00:41:05,035 --> 00:41:08,582
Actually, the one you
gave me is really nice too.
637
00:41:13,962 --> 00:41:17,675
[Mary Alice] Everyone enjoys a game
of make-believe now and then.
638
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,220
Of course, the ways in
which we play can vary greatly.
639
00:41:23,307 --> 00:41:28,270
Sometimes we tell ourselves work
won't interfere with our family life.
640
00:41:28,395 --> 00:41:31,274
- Lynette, staff meeting. Now.
- Yeah.
641
00:41:33,526 --> 00:41:36,488
Sometimes we imagine
certain relationships
642
00:41:36,614 --> 00:41:40,492
to be more meaningful
than they really are.
643
00:41:44,789 --> 00:41:47,459
Occasionally, we put on a show,
644
00:41:47,542 --> 00:41:50,421
as if to convince ourselves our secrets
645
00:41:50,546 --> 00:41:53,966
aren't really all that terrible.
646
00:41:54,550 --> 00:41:59,056
Yes, the game of make-believe
is a simple one.
647
00:41:59,181 --> 00:42:01,433
Did you know Rex Van De Kamp?
648
00:42:01,558 --> 00:42:03,393
Yes.
649
00:42:03,518 --> 00:42:06,981
[interrogator] Did Mrs Van De Kamp
ask you to poison her husband?
650
00:42:07,106 --> 00:42:08,983
[George] No.
651
00:42:09,567 --> 00:42:12,071
Did you poison Rex Van De Kamp?
652
00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:14,740
You start by lying to yourself.
653
00:42:14,865 --> 00:42:16,283
No.
654
00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:23,833
And if you can get others
to believe those lies...
655
00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:26,796
... you win.