1 00:00:02,531 --> 00:00:04,575 [Mary Alice] Previously on Desperate Housewives: 2 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,910 Your spleen's wandered close to your heart. 3 00:00:07,036 --> 00:00:10,039 - Get your insurance figured out. - There was the bad news... 4 00:00:10,164 --> 00:00:12,624 There's a cop I want you to talk to. Sullivan. 5 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:16,046 - The file on Noah's daughter. ...the discomforting news... 6 00:00:16,129 --> 00:00:17,130 Thanks. 7 00:00:17,255 --> 00:00:19,467 Are you hiding someone in your house? 8 00:00:19,592 --> 00:00:22,845 - Tell me your secrets, I'll understand. - OK. 9 00:00:22,928 --> 00:00:25,138 ... and the news no one should know. 10 00:00:25,263 --> 00:00:27,141 But you tell me yours first. 11 00:00:30,227 --> 00:00:31,520 [Mary Alice] Once a month, the crème de la crème of Fairview society 12 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,814 [Mary Alice] Once a month, the crème de la crème of Fairview society 13 00:00:33,898 --> 00:00:38,612 would attend a semi-formal luncheon at the home of Maxine Bennett. 14 00:00:38,695 --> 00:00:41,948 Everyone loved these elegant get-togethers. 15 00:00:42,032 --> 00:00:45,619 Everyone, that is, but a certain redheaded housewife, 16 00:00:45,702 --> 00:00:49,122 who was convinced Maxine was a liar. 17 00:00:49,831 --> 00:00:53,586 You see, Maxine liked to brag that she did all her own cooking. 18 00:00:54,253 --> 00:00:58,007 And because each course was served promptly, 19 00:00:58,090 --> 00:01:02,262 - presented with flair... - [woman] Oh, it smells delicious. 20 00:01:02,346 --> 00:01:05,349 ... and was positively mouth-watering, 21 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,519 Bree knew Maxine had had some help. 22 00:01:09,561 --> 00:01:12,439 - Thank you so much. - And sadly for Maxine, 23 00:01:12,523 --> 00:01:15,610 Bree intended to prove it. 24 00:01:15,735 --> 00:01:19,948 Once again this entire lunch was just out of this world. 25 00:01:20,031 --> 00:01:22,408 I just have to get the number of your caterer. 26 00:01:22,492 --> 00:01:23,994 What a nice compliment. 27 00:01:24,078 --> 00:01:26,204 No, I'm afraid this was all my doing. 28 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,414 It was an absolute triumph. 29 00:01:28,498 --> 00:01:30,793 Come on. Do you honestly expect us to believe 30 00:01:30,918 --> 00:01:34,588 that you had the time to prepare a six-course meal for ten women? 31 00:01:34,672 --> 00:01:38,008 Even I couldn't make this and have time to get ready for a party. 32 00:01:38,092 --> 00:01:41,930 Well, perhaps you're just not as organised as I am. 33 00:01:42,013 --> 00:01:43,390 Mm-hm. 34 00:01:43,473 --> 00:01:45,600 If you'll excuse me... 35 00:01:46,643 --> 00:01:48,687 Bree, what's gotten into you? 36 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:51,440 I have the same recipe for English plum pudding. 37 00:01:51,524 --> 00:01:53,650 It takes six hours to prepare. 38 00:01:53,775 --> 00:01:57,530 How would she have time to make all this and everything else we ate today? 39 00:01:57,613 --> 00:02:00,283 This is not the pudding of an honest woman. 40 00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:02,410 - [banging on door] - [man] FBI. Open up! 41 00:02:02,535 --> 00:02:06,290 - What on earth? - [banging continues] 42 00:02:06,415 --> 00:02:07,666 [woman] Oh! 43 00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:12,086 [women gasping] 44 00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:14,715 - We're looking for Maxine Bennett. - I'm Maxine. 45 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,883 We have a warrant to search the premises. 46 00:02:16,967 --> 00:02:19,345 A warrant? I'm in the middle of a luncheon. 47 00:02:19,429 --> 00:02:20,804 [man 1] Over here. 48 00:02:23,391 --> 00:02:25,018 Found her. 49 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,186 What? 50 00:02:27,270 --> 00:02:31,650 [man 2] Maxine Bennett, you're under arrest for involuntary servitude. 51 00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:34,611 - Is this the woman who locked you up? - Yeah. 52 00:02:34,695 --> 00:02:36,404 [Maxine speaking Chinese] 53 00:02:36,529 --> 00:02:40,367 [yelling in Chinese] 54 00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,328 [speaking Chinese] 55 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,917 Bree, what's going on? 56 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:51,004 Well, I'm not sure, but I think Maxine had a slave. 57 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,255 Well, I'm not sure, but I think Maxine had a slave. 58 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,551 I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. 59 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:55,884 I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. 60 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,013 [Mary Alice] But Bree could. 61 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,930 You see, for her, 62 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,643 the proof was in the pudding. 63 00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:11,692 Checkmate! 64 00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:15,197 The world is filled with unlikely friendships. 65 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,368 Odd pairings that, to the casual observer... 66 00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:22,872 - [laughing] ...make absolutely no sense at all. 67 00:03:23,997 --> 00:03:25,875 But if we look closer, 68 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,670 we can see why these alliances form. 69 00:03:29,796 --> 00:03:32,090 After all, a shared purpose 70 00:03:32,173 --> 00:03:36,469 can give even mortal enemies common ground. 71 00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:40,056 - Bree? We have a question for you. - Oh, what is it? 72 00:03:40,139 --> 00:03:43,393 We were just wondering... Actually, we were curious about... 73 00:03:43,476 --> 00:03:46,647 What the hell's going on with you and Betty Applewhite? 74 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:49,775 Excuse me? 75 00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:52,528 When the dead body showed up, nobody was yelling, 76 00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:55,323 "The Applewhites are involved!" louder than you. 77 00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:58,118 The next thing, you're having Betty over for poker? 78 00:03:58,201 --> 00:04:00,245 - What gives? - She makes us sound angry. 79 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,746 - We're not. - I'm angry. 80 00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:04,624 Can we talk about this later? I have ice cream in here. 81 00:04:04,707 --> 00:04:07,627 Could this flip-flop have something to do with the fact 82 00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:10,464 that Danielle's dating Matthew? 83 00:04:10,548 --> 00:04:12,424 I knew that would get her. 84 00:04:13,259 --> 00:04:14,426 Who told you that? 85 00:04:14,552 --> 00:04:16,929 Mrs McCluskey saw them making out in the park. 86 00:04:17,012 --> 00:04:18,348 - Edie! - What? 87 00:04:18,431 --> 00:04:21,351 - Can't you sugar-coat it a little? - I did. 88 00:04:21,434 --> 00:04:23,812 He had his hand down her shirt. 89 00:04:23,895 --> 00:04:28,024 Bree, we know you have a reason for wanting Betty to hang out with us. 90 00:04:28,108 --> 00:04:31,611 We just wondered if you could clue us in a little. 91 00:04:31,695 --> 00:04:34,657 When it comes to Betty Applewhite, I know what I'm doing. 92 00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:36,534 You two are gonna have to trust me. 93 00:04:36,617 --> 00:04:38,077 And if you can't do that, 94 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,122 then I've overestimated the depth of our friendship. 95 00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:43,249 Now, if you'll excuse me... 96 00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:46,003 What a bitch. 97 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,964 - Edie, can you? - I was sugar-coating it. 98 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,388 [phone ringing] 99 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:59,516 [mumbling] Hey. 100 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,270 [gasps] Oh! None of that in here. 101 00:05:03,353 --> 00:05:06,441 Maybe if we remind Ed that I'm shacking up with the senior VP, 102 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,193 - he'll stop killing my pitches. - It's been a week. 103 00:05:09,277 --> 00:05:11,654 - Give yourself a break. - You know the ad game. 104 00:05:11,738 --> 00:05:15,074 I've got a short time to make my mark before he kicks me to the kerb. 105 00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:18,537 Look, I'm just asking you, jump in every once in a while, 106 00:05:18,662 --> 00:05:20,873 throw me some rope when Ed's on the warpath. 107 00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:24,543 I can't protect you. You'll have to find a way to click with Ed yourself. 108 00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:28,673 Then the pig, he rubs his stomach, and he goes: 109 00:05:28,798 --> 00:05:29,966 [snorting] 110 00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:33,803 "Farm Fresh bacon will make a piggy out of you too!" 111 00:05:33,887 --> 00:05:35,513 [Lynette laughs] 112 00:05:39,184 --> 00:05:43,648 So the pig actually eats the bacon? 113 00:05:43,731 --> 00:05:45,608 - Yeah. - [Ed] I don't see the client 114 00:05:45,691 --> 00:05:49,195 doing a happy dance over the whole cannibalism theme. 115 00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:54,785 Why don't you pitch them the other idea you came up with last night? 116 00:05:54,909 --> 00:05:58,163 Where people love bacon so much they want to keep it a secret. 117 00:05:58,288 --> 00:06:01,793 What? Like a secret underground society of bacon eaters? 118 00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:04,712 Like my college fraternity, everybody wanted in, 119 00:06:04,796 --> 00:06:07,172 but we only took the coolest guys. 120 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:11,719 - You were Greek? - Yeah, Alpha Tau Omega. 121 00:06:11,803 --> 00:06:13,429 - I was Phi Kapp. - You? 122 00:06:13,554 --> 00:06:16,349 I don't remember you having to be cool to pledge ATO. 123 00:06:16,432 --> 00:06:18,560 [laughs] If I had a nickel for every Phi Kapp 124 00:06:18,685 --> 00:06:21,230 that I tied naked to a freeway sign... 125 00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:22,814 Scavo, if you were my pledge, 126 00:06:22,897 --> 00:06:25,025 - I'd have made you my bitch. - You think so? 127 00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:28,654 You know what? I'm liking this whole fraternity angle. 128 00:06:30,281 --> 00:06:34,411 Let's talk about it over lunch. You're buying. 129 00:06:37,038 --> 00:06:38,582 Go! 130 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,713 - Thanks for your help. - My pleasure. 131 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,888 Hello. What's going on? 132 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:56,433 Gabrielle, I want you to meet someone. This is Xiao Mei. 133 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,311 The young lady who was forced to work for Maxine. 134 00:06:59,395 --> 00:07:01,773 Oh, the slave. 135 00:07:01,898 --> 00:07:05,068 Wow. Looks well-fed. 136 00:07:05,152 --> 00:07:07,696 The church is arranging for her return to China, 137 00:07:07,779 --> 00:07:10,532 but until then she needs a place to stay. 138 00:07:10,615 --> 00:07:13,327 So I offered up our guest room. 139 00:07:13,411 --> 00:07:15,037 Really? 140 00:07:16,289 --> 00:07:18,666 Baby, can I talk to you for a second? 141 00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:23,963 - Are you nuts? - It's only for a couple of days! 142 00:07:24,046 --> 00:07:25,924 This time! You are quickly becoming 143 00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:28,468 Father Crowley's go-to guy for charity cases! 144 00:07:28,552 --> 00:07:29,720 That's a bad thing? 145 00:07:29,803 --> 00:07:33,474 When he turns our house into a Catholic Underground Railroad, yes! 146 00:07:33,558 --> 00:07:34,892 You know who you are? 147 00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:37,979 The kind of person who'd have turned away Mary and Joseph. 148 00:07:38,062 --> 00:07:41,316 Well, they should have called ahead! 149 00:07:49,825 --> 00:07:51,785 Don't brush your hair at the table. 150 00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:55,664 You're talking to me? Does this mean you've forgiven me? 151 00:07:55,748 --> 00:07:59,251 Why should I? You betrayed this family, and you're not even sorry. 152 00:07:59,335 --> 00:08:01,212 Don't be such a drama queen. 153 00:08:01,338 --> 00:08:03,047 If the Applewhites go to the police 154 00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:05,717 and tell them your brother ran over Mrs Solis, 155 00:08:05,842 --> 00:08:07,969 he could go to prison! 156 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:10,931 How can you not understand that? 157 00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:14,060 They won't, as long as you don't go to the police about Caleb. 158 00:08:14,184 --> 00:08:16,145 What did this Caleb do, exactly? 159 00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:18,396 And why on earth are they hiding him? 160 00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:22,360 Go to Mrs Applewhite and tell her you need to know what's going on. 161 00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:27,198 I bet if you were really nice, she'd tell you the truth. 162 00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:30,117 Is that what you really think, Danielle? 163 00:08:30,242 --> 00:08:32,371 I should go to Mrs Applewhite, be nice, 164 00:08:32,454 --> 00:08:34,831 and then she'll hand over all her secrets? 165 00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,543 Yeah. 166 00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:42,631 When I was young, my stepmother told me that I was very lucky. 167 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:47,804 I possessed beauty, wit, cunning and insight. 168 00:08:47,887 --> 00:08:52,350 These were weapons all women needed to survive in the world. 169 00:08:53,018 --> 00:08:54,268 So? 170 00:08:54,394 --> 00:08:57,398 So take good care of your looks, Danielle. 171 00:08:57,481 --> 00:09:00,567 You don't have any other weapons at your disposal. 172 00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:11,413 Hi. I need an operation on my spleen. I just found out I don't have insurance. 173 00:09:11,496 --> 00:09:13,456 Is there anyone I can sue? 174 00:09:15,417 --> 00:09:18,294 After the embezzlement, Lonnie let the policy lapse. 175 00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:20,589 And now he's in jail, and I'm gonna die! 176 00:09:20,673 --> 00:09:24,009 You're not gonna die. I'll get into it with the insurance company. 177 00:09:24,093 --> 00:09:26,470 [Susan] There isn't time to deal with red tape! 178 00:09:26,554 --> 00:09:30,057 My spleen is going careening into my heart. 179 00:09:30,182 --> 00:09:31,684 I need that operation now. 180 00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,395 I'd loan you the money myself, 181 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:37,357 but Edie and I just plopped down our savings in a ski condo. 182 00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:40,902 I don't need a loan. I need coverage. 183 00:09:41,027 --> 00:09:43,572 I mean, what if there are complications? 184 00:09:43,697 --> 00:09:47,869 I don't have a safety net! Oh... please. 185 00:09:48,953 --> 00:09:52,039 - What in the hell are you doing? - I'm saying a little prayer. 186 00:09:52,165 --> 00:09:53,666 For puke's sake. 187 00:09:53,748 --> 00:09:56,627 What? I'm desperate here. Do you have any other ideas? 188 00:09:56,711 --> 00:09:58,337 As a matter of fact, I do. 189 00:09:59,297 --> 00:10:02,550 - What you need is a husband. - [laughs] What? 190 00:10:02,675 --> 00:10:06,597 The only way to get a good health plan is to marry into one. 191 00:10:06,722 --> 00:10:10,934 - Edie, come on. - No, no, I think she's onto something. 192 00:10:11,018 --> 00:10:13,896 Yeah. If we find a guy with the right plan, 193 00:10:13,979 --> 00:10:16,357 you could have a sham wedding on a Monday night 194 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:20,278 - and be covered Tuesday morning. - I can't believe you're considering it. 195 00:10:20,403 --> 00:10:23,364 The surgeon is slicing me open a week from tomorrow. 196 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,242 What other choice do I have? 197 00:10:25,326 --> 00:10:28,412 All we have to do is find a guy who's willing to marry you. 198 00:10:33,626 --> 00:10:35,586 You know, come to think of it, 199 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:38,756 a little prayer might not be such a bad idea, after all. 200 00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:49,601 Pat, we're all here, so send the call in as soon as you get it. 201 00:10:53,147 --> 00:10:56,317 Two hundred bucks says you can't do that three times in a row. 202 00:10:57,609 --> 00:11:02,657 Huh? You catch three of those, 200 bucks. 203 00:11:03,574 --> 00:11:06,744 - What do you say, there, Scavo? - You're on. 204 00:11:06,869 --> 00:11:08,664 - Here we go. - Uh, uh, uh, uh! 205 00:11:09,747 --> 00:11:11,541 Thrown by me. 206 00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:14,920 I thought we were here to talk about the Farm Fresh rollout? 207 00:11:15,045 --> 00:11:16,923 They gotta be catchable, big guy. 208 00:11:17,006 --> 00:11:18,715 Let me worry about the shooting. 209 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,093 Come on. 210 00:11:23,763 --> 00:11:25,139 [laughing] 211 00:11:25,223 --> 00:11:26,641 - That's one. - Guys... 212 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,187 Nice moves. 213 00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,692 - One more, big guy. - Guys, please... All right. 214 00:11:36,777 --> 00:11:38,904 - Oww! - [screaming, laughing] 215 00:11:39,947 --> 00:11:41,991 - Ow. - [Ed laughing] 216 00:11:42,074 --> 00:11:43,701 That wasn't even catchable! 217 00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:48,790 Maybe not, but it was totally worth the 200 bucks. Whoo! 218 00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,625 Well, you got me. 219 00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:53,712 You're a regular little monkey man. I love this guy. 220 00:12:01,344 --> 00:12:03,389 Oh, hi. 221 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,393 Do you have to sit around all day? 222 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:10,020 Shouldn't you experience Western civilisation 223 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,023 while you have the chance? 224 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,528 What are you doing? 225 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,030 - I fix. - No, this is couture! 226 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:22,033 This rip has to be fixed by an experienced tailor. 227 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:25,704 You can't just... Holy crap! This stitching is perfect. 228 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:27,915 Hungry? 229 00:12:33,421 --> 00:12:35,716 Did you make all of this? 230 00:12:38,969 --> 00:12:41,095 Oh, for me? 231 00:12:41,889 --> 00:12:43,474 OK. 232 00:12:47,227 --> 00:12:49,771 - Oh, my God. - You like? 233 00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:51,608 I like a lot. [laughs] 234 00:13:03,412 --> 00:13:05,872 [groans, kissing] 235 00:13:05,955 --> 00:13:07,583 You like that? 236 00:13:07,666 --> 00:13:09,543 Yeah, it's nice. 237 00:13:09,627 --> 00:13:11,754 You know what they do to people in China 238 00:13:11,879 --> 00:13:13,923 who speak out against the government? 239 00:13:14,006 --> 00:13:16,134 They put them in forced labour camps. 240 00:13:16,218 --> 00:13:17,843 Isn't that awful? 241 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,179 Mm-hm. 242 00:13:19,262 --> 00:13:22,182 No, I mean, it's such a repressive regime. 243 00:13:23,225 --> 00:13:25,352 We forget how good we have it. 244 00:13:25,435 --> 00:13:27,062 Yes, we do. 245 00:13:27,187 --> 00:13:31,275 Don't you think Xiao Mei would like it better here, in America? 246 00:13:31,359 --> 00:13:36,696 I mean, where she could learn about freedom and democracy and stuff. 247 00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:40,785 Does this have anything to do with you making Xiao Mei do housework? 248 00:13:40,868 --> 00:13:42,912 - What? - I found her waxing the floor. 249 00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:45,331 She told me you asked her to put on two coats. 250 00:13:45,414 --> 00:13:48,418 Well, first of all, that was her idea. 251 00:13:48,502 --> 00:13:52,423 Second, I can't have this conversation until you've tasted her crab puffs. 252 00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:56,219 - Mmm. - Mm-mm. 253 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,263 - Hmm. - Mmm. 254 00:13:58,346 --> 00:14:00,806 She just got done being a slave. 255 00:14:00,889 --> 00:14:02,934 She wants to go back to China. 256 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,979 We can't force her to stay here and be our maid. 257 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,731 Who's forcing her? We'll pay whatever she wants. 258 00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:12,152 And the best part is, with her résumé, any wage will look good. 259 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,863 No way, baby. Mm. 260 00:14:17,074 --> 00:14:18,951 - Hmm. - What? 261 00:14:19,661 --> 00:14:23,081 What? [grunts] 262 00:14:23,164 --> 00:14:26,167 What, so you don't get what you want, you walk off and pout? 263 00:14:26,292 --> 00:14:29,295 Oh, this isn't about me. This is about our great nation. 264 00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:32,382 I have no intention of satisfying a man who isn't willing 265 00:14:32,465 --> 00:14:35,177 to stand up for and help spread the ideals and values 266 00:14:35,261 --> 00:14:37,220 of the United States of America. 267 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,187 Sometimes she is a little hard to stomach, but she means well. 268 00:14:45,312 --> 00:14:46,897 - There she is! - Hi! 269 00:14:46,981 --> 00:14:49,650 I came as soon as I got your message. Is this? 270 00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:52,403 This is Gary Grantham, your future ex-husband. 271 00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:54,197 - Wow. Nice to meet you. - Hi. 272 00:14:54,281 --> 00:14:56,658 I've gotta meet a client. I've gotta go. 273 00:14:56,742 --> 00:15:01,455 So just talk amongst yourselves, and you two make a very handsome couple. 274 00:15:01,538 --> 00:15:02,790 [both laughing] 275 00:15:02,874 --> 00:15:05,793 Yeah. Yeah. Uh... 276 00:15:05,877 --> 00:15:08,087 - Hi. - Hi. 277 00:15:08,170 --> 00:15:10,298 So do you wanna get married on Wednesday? 278 00:15:10,381 --> 00:15:12,759 Cos Thursday and Friday, I'm out of town. 279 00:15:12,884 --> 00:15:15,345 Oh, yeah, sure. Wednesday's great. 280 00:15:15,471 --> 00:15:17,430 I'm just curious. 281 00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:20,058 How did Edie convince you to do this so quickly? 282 00:15:20,934 --> 00:15:24,188 She explained your situation. I'm in need of a fake bride. 283 00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:28,108 - So I figured, "What the heck?" - Why would you need a fake bride? 284 00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:31,237 I'm gay. And I've never come out to my mother. 285 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,738 - Really? - Yeah. 286 00:15:32,821 --> 00:15:34,866 At first I just didn't want to upset her. 287 00:15:34,991 --> 00:15:37,786 Then she got older, got emphysema and diverticulitis. 288 00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:40,246 I started thinking if I just kept my mouth shut, 289 00:15:40,371 --> 00:15:43,375 one day nature would take its course, and we could avoid 290 00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:45,669 what was sure to be a very ugly scene. 291 00:15:45,795 --> 00:15:47,588 So, what changed? 292 00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:50,299 She told me at her 81 st birthday party last month, 293 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:53,969 the only reason she's hanging on is to see me get married. 294 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,847 Oh. Oh, so by marrying me... 295 00:15:56,931 --> 00:16:00,100 Yeah, I get my inheritance that much sooner. 296 00:16:00,184 --> 00:16:03,271 But mostly I want to make sure she's happy. 297 00:16:05,357 --> 00:16:08,777 Well, you seem very nice, Susan. 298 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:12,030 It will be a pleasure being married to you. 299 00:16:12,113 --> 00:16:13,741 Uh, likewise. 300 00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:15,952 You can finish the rest of the fries. 301 00:16:23,544 --> 00:16:25,837 Here's your mail and your pills. 302 00:16:25,921 --> 00:16:29,091 Oh! More pills. 303 00:16:38,017 --> 00:16:40,060 Miss Tillman? 304 00:16:40,895 --> 00:16:42,855 Where did this come from? 305 00:16:42,939 --> 00:16:45,233 I don't know. It was in with your other mail. 306 00:16:49,863 --> 00:16:51,031 Get me the phone. 307 00:16:58,748 --> 00:17:01,375 [dialling phone] 308 00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:03,503 Sullivan, it's me. 309 00:17:03,627 --> 00:17:06,506 I just got some news, and I need to get you involved. 310 00:17:06,589 --> 00:17:09,676 Looks like Delfino's been holding out on me. 311 00:17:16,892 --> 00:17:19,853 [Mary Alice] The next morning, Bree came up with the plan 312 00:17:19,937 --> 00:17:23,191 to get to the truth she so desperately needed. 313 00:17:23,317 --> 00:17:26,403 As she watched the Applewhites leave their house, 314 00:17:26,528 --> 00:17:30,115 she thought of how much she had trusted the previous owners. 315 00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:34,077 And how much they had trusted her. 316 00:17:56,059 --> 00:17:58,270 Caleb, is that you? 317 00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:06,362 Hi. I'm Bree. 318 00:18:06,488 --> 00:18:09,032 I live down the street. 319 00:18:09,157 --> 00:18:11,366 I'm a friend of your mother's. 320 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:15,997 - She's not home. - I know. Um... 321 00:18:16,081 --> 00:18:19,168 - I came to see you. - Me? 322 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:21,545 Yes. Your mother told me all about you. 323 00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:25,508 And I thought it might be nice if we had a little visit. 324 00:18:27,593 --> 00:18:30,137 I brought you some homemade cobbler. 325 00:18:33,225 --> 00:18:37,145 - [cheering, applause] - [phone ringing] 326 00:18:38,814 --> 00:18:41,358 [Tom] Right here. Follow the doughnut, people. 327 00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:43,985 Here we go. We got the people. Come on. 328 00:18:44,694 --> 00:18:46,906 - What's going on? - Well... 329 00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:50,368 ...Ed bet Tom that he wouldn't eat a doughnut out of the toilet! 330 00:18:50,451 --> 00:18:54,623 - [woman] I can't believe it. - Isn't it disgusting? [laughs] 331 00:18:54,706 --> 00:18:58,293 Uh, uh, uh! No, it's gotta be fully dunked. 332 00:18:58,377 --> 00:19:00,838 I don't want the glaze to repel the water. 333 00:19:00,921 --> 00:19:03,381 Slight delay. I'm requesting a scrub-down. 334 00:19:03,506 --> 00:19:06,677 Does anybody know where they keep the toilet brush? 335 00:19:08,053 --> 00:19:11,139 Just for one second. I never thought I'd have to ask you this, 336 00:19:11,265 --> 00:19:13,476 are you eating a doughnut from the toilet? 337 00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:16,145 Yeah. For the Galveston Jewellers account. 338 00:19:16,229 --> 00:19:18,523 I don't care. You're not gonna do this. 339 00:19:18,648 --> 00:19:20,775 You told me to find a way to click with Ed. 340 00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:25,029 Well, now we've got our thing. And it's paying off for me. 341 00:19:25,113 --> 00:19:27,240 Because Ed gets off on humiliating you. 342 00:19:27,365 --> 00:19:29,493 Please, don't do this. 343 00:19:29,618 --> 00:19:32,079 - [chanting] - We're waiting, Scavo. 344 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:38,295 This is my moment. 345 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,261 [Bree] So, Caleb, besides your mother and brother, 346 00:19:46,344 --> 00:19:49,514 does anybody else know that you're here? 347 00:19:50,391 --> 00:19:52,350 No. 348 00:19:53,978 --> 00:19:56,439 - You're pretty. - [laughs] 349 00:19:56,522 --> 00:19:58,733 Thank you. That's very sweet. 350 00:19:58,858 --> 00:20:02,362 So where have you been living this whole time, upstairs? 351 00:20:02,446 --> 00:20:06,366 No. I just moved upstairs. 352 00:20:07,408 --> 00:20:10,078 - My room's downstairs. - Downstairs? 353 00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:13,290 In the basement. 354 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,500 You want to see it? 355 00:20:40,819 --> 00:20:43,572 Caleb, have you been down here all these months? 356 00:20:44,365 --> 00:20:45,617 Yeah. 357 00:20:47,326 --> 00:20:49,287 Did your mother make you wear those? 358 00:20:50,537 --> 00:20:51,790 Most of the time. 359 00:20:51,873 --> 00:20:53,918 Oh, my God. 360 00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:58,797 Sweetheart, I don't understand. 361 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,675 Why in the world would your mother treat you that way? 362 00:21:03,928 --> 00:21:07,264 - I hurt a girl. - A girl? 363 00:21:10,559 --> 00:21:12,187 Yeah. 364 00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:17,609 And then she died. 365 00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,278 Oh. 366 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,199 Her name was Melanie. 367 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,081 She was pretty. 368 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,627 Just like you. 369 00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:43,011 Hi. 370 00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:49,686 I thought you should know I'm getting married. 371 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,857 - To the doctor? - No! No. [laughs] 372 00:21:54,941 --> 00:21:56,568 No, to a gay guy. 373 00:21:58,028 --> 00:22:01,115 - How did you know about the doctor? - People talk. 374 00:22:02,323 --> 00:22:05,202 - You're marrying a gay guy? - I need health insurance 375 00:22:05,286 --> 00:22:08,873 because I've got this wandering spleen, and... that sounds funny. 376 00:22:08,998 --> 00:22:11,750 "Spleen, wandering," but actually, it's not funny, 377 00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:13,628 because it can bang into things. 378 00:22:13,753 --> 00:22:16,923 So I need health insurance, so I'm getting married tomorrow. 379 00:22:17,048 --> 00:22:19,008 You probably think I'm crazy, right? 380 00:22:20,427 --> 00:22:23,221 Well, can it wait? The surgery? 381 00:22:23,847 --> 00:22:26,683 No. It can't wait. 382 00:22:28,184 --> 00:22:30,145 Guess it's really not that crazy. 383 00:22:32,523 --> 00:22:34,107 How're you doing, ma'am? 384 00:22:34,901 --> 00:22:37,988 - Could you just give me a minute? - Oh, yeah. No, I'm sorry. 385 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:40,031 That was really it. 386 00:22:42,658 --> 00:22:45,746 - What do you want? - It's not what I want, Delfino. 387 00:22:45,871 --> 00:22:49,041 It's what Noah Taylor wants. Where's his grandkid? 388 00:22:51,001 --> 00:22:54,421 Let's skip the part where you don't know anything about anything. 389 00:22:54,546 --> 00:22:56,257 Mr Taylor wants to chat. 390 00:22:56,924 --> 00:22:58,342 What if I say no? 391 00:22:58,425 --> 00:23:00,970 Then I've got to find the kid myself. 392 00:23:01,095 --> 00:23:05,809 My guess is he or she is somewhere around here close. 393 00:23:05,892 --> 00:23:10,355 Your old girlfriend, she's got a daughter, right? 394 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,858 Maybe I should start by paying her a visit. 395 00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:16,612 - Her daughter's not the one. - Yeah, well, 396 00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:20,115 given your track record, I might want to check that out for myself. 397 00:23:23,118 --> 00:23:25,246 Tell him I'll be there in the morning. 398 00:23:31,670 --> 00:23:33,381 Oh. 399 00:23:34,339 --> 00:23:35,925 So pretty. 400 00:23:37,635 --> 00:23:39,345 You like nice things? 401 00:23:41,055 --> 00:23:44,725 That's why I think you're stupid for not wanting to stay here. 402 00:23:44,809 --> 00:23:47,728 You could be around my nice things all the time, 403 00:23:47,812 --> 00:23:49,939 taking care of them. 404 00:23:50,022 --> 00:23:52,651 How fun would that be? 405 00:23:53,859 --> 00:23:56,488 Well, I'm sure it's a lot more fun than you'd have 406 00:23:56,571 --> 00:23:59,491 in that tiny godforsaken village of yours. 407 00:24:03,538 --> 00:24:06,791 You know, we're probably more alike than people would guess. 408 00:24:07,792 --> 00:24:09,420 I'm from a small town too. 409 00:24:09,503 --> 00:24:11,546 My folks had nothing. 410 00:24:11,629 --> 00:24:15,383 That's why I love America. Anything is possible. 411 00:24:21,807 --> 00:24:23,183 Oh! 412 00:24:23,267 --> 00:24:26,145 Mm. You like that? 413 00:24:26,228 --> 00:24:29,065 Well, an old, fat stockbroker gave this to me. 414 00:24:29,065 --> 00:24:30,482 Well, an old, fat stockbroker gave this to me. 415 00:24:30,566 --> 00:24:33,903 It's not worth anything. You can have it. 416 00:24:34,445 --> 00:24:36,156 [laughs] 417 00:24:37,657 --> 00:24:39,701 [gasps] 418 00:24:39,784 --> 00:24:42,328 [speaks Chinese] 419 00:24:42,412 --> 00:24:44,707 Oh! [chuckles] 420 00:24:44,832 --> 00:24:46,625 OK. Glad you like it. 421 00:24:48,627 --> 00:24:50,588 You can brush my hair. 422 00:25:06,396 --> 00:25:07,857 - Hi. - Hi. 423 00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:11,944 It's the best I could do on such short notice. 424 00:25:14,363 --> 00:25:15,990 - OK. - OK. [laughs] 425 00:25:19,410 --> 00:25:21,537 [laughs] 426 00:25:21,662 --> 00:25:25,918 Oh, Susan, this is my best man, Steven. He's also my life partner. 427 00:25:26,001 --> 00:25:28,712 Oh, hi. It's nice to meet you. 428 00:25:30,213 --> 00:25:32,675 Baby, be... be nice. 429 00:25:34,134 --> 00:25:38,139 - I'm sorry you have cancer. - Cancer? 430 00:25:38,222 --> 00:25:41,643 Isn't that the point of this whole charade? 431 00:25:41,726 --> 00:25:44,020 Gary said you needed insurance. 432 00:25:44,146 --> 00:25:47,107 Yes. No. I do need insurance, I just don't have cancer. 433 00:25:47,191 --> 00:25:50,277 I have a wandering spleen. 434 00:25:52,529 --> 00:25:54,907 I said it was like cancer. 435 00:25:54,990 --> 00:25:56,952 Is there a problem? 436 00:25:57,035 --> 00:26:01,080 No. Everything's fine. Let's just go to the chapel, shall we? 437 00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:05,585 I made a wedding cake. 438 00:26:05,669 --> 00:26:07,087 I hope you enjoy it. 439 00:26:07,170 --> 00:26:09,214 Oh! Uh... 440 00:26:13,885 --> 00:26:16,263 So... are we ready to get started? 441 00:26:16,347 --> 00:26:18,307 Do you have a thing to play music? 442 00:26:18,391 --> 00:26:20,769 I had Steven burn a little wedding mix for us, 443 00:26:20,894 --> 00:26:25,272 - for ambiance. - Sure. Just give me a sec. 444 00:26:25,398 --> 00:26:27,442 [chuckles] 445 00:26:29,527 --> 00:26:31,238 Do you have a problem? 446 00:26:31,321 --> 00:26:33,115 You said she was sick! 447 00:26:33,198 --> 00:26:36,202 She is. She has a wandering spleen. 448 00:26:36,327 --> 00:26:39,414 It sounds nothing like cancer. It doesn't even sound real. 449 00:26:39,497 --> 00:26:42,333 - Well, it is. I could die. - You look fine to me, honey. 450 00:26:42,417 --> 00:26:44,043 Don't do this. 451 00:26:44,127 --> 00:26:48,172 I have asked you six times to fly with me to Holland and get married, 452 00:26:48,257 --> 00:26:50,299 and you always have some lame excuse. 453 00:26:50,425 --> 00:26:53,845 But the second some chick with a silly disease comes along, 454 00:26:53,970 --> 00:26:56,181 you drop everything and head for a chapel. 455 00:26:56,265 --> 00:26:57,725 No, it's a serious illness. 456 00:26:57,808 --> 00:27:00,185 It sounds silly because of the word "spleen." 457 00:27:01,728 --> 00:27:04,274 - What do you want? - You to worry about my feelings 458 00:27:04,357 --> 00:27:06,400 as much as you worry about your mother's. 459 00:27:06,525 --> 00:27:09,236 What will make you happy? Not have the wedding? 460 00:27:09,319 --> 00:27:12,115 - Is that what you're asking? - No, stop right there. 461 00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:16,995 I would love to see you two crazy kids get hitched in Holland more than anyone. 462 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:20,624 The tulips, the clogs, in front of a windmill, the whole shebang. 463 00:27:20,707 --> 00:27:22,585 But unless I get this surgery, 464 00:27:22,710 --> 00:27:26,797 my spleen is going to slam straight into my heart and explode. 465 00:27:26,881 --> 00:27:31,052 Seeing as how I'm just a nice person and I always support gay rights, 466 00:27:31,136 --> 00:27:32,554 let's just do this. 467 00:27:32,636 --> 00:27:35,891 Then I'll have a husband and insurance, and nobody gets hurt. 468 00:27:40,812 --> 00:27:43,691 Come on. Steven... 469 00:27:44,317 --> 00:27:45,567 Steven! 470 00:27:45,650 --> 00:27:48,029 - [sighs] He's just... - Yeah. 471 00:27:50,656 --> 00:27:54,410 I'm so sorry. My hands are tied. I'm really sorry. 472 00:27:58,624 --> 00:28:01,877 Steven, wait! Steven! Where are you going? What are you doing? 473 00:28:02,002 --> 00:28:04,462 [# What's Love Got to Do With li] 474 00:28:08,592 --> 00:28:10,803 I finally got the sound system working. 475 00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:14,307 Where's the groom? 476 00:28:26,779 --> 00:28:28,905 Hey, Susie Q. 477 00:28:30,241 --> 00:28:33,911 What's wrong? For a newlywed, you don't have much spring in your step. 478 00:28:33,994 --> 00:28:37,581 - I didn't get married. - Really? 479 00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:42,587 I got to the altar, but the whole fake wedding thing sort of imploded. 480 00:28:44,254 --> 00:28:45,423 Wow. 481 00:28:46,758 --> 00:28:48,635 I'm sorry. 482 00:28:48,718 --> 00:28:50,596 I still don't have insurance. 483 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,306 I need to get that operation. I'm... 484 00:28:56,060 --> 00:28:57,853 I'm really screwed. 485 00:29:00,107 --> 00:29:02,566 - [sighs] - Well... 486 00:29:05,821 --> 00:29:08,739 ...why don't I just marry you? - What? 487 00:29:08,824 --> 00:29:12,078 I've got a fantastic health plan. You'd be covered instantly. 488 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:16,415 No... we were actually married. 489 00:29:16,498 --> 00:29:18,001 Look, I've always felt awful 490 00:29:18,001 --> 00:29:19,419 Look, I've always felt awful 491 00:29:19,502 --> 00:29:21,713 about walking out on you the way I did. 492 00:29:21,796 --> 00:29:23,673 And I figure if we do this, 493 00:29:24,674 --> 00:29:26,968 I'd basically be saving your life. 494 00:29:29,345 --> 00:29:31,390 I figure I owe you one. 495 00:29:33,392 --> 00:29:34,977 Karl... 496 00:29:37,438 --> 00:29:39,022 So, what do you say? 497 00:29:39,106 --> 00:29:42,359 Will you marry me, Susan Mayer? [laughing] 498 00:29:42,485 --> 00:29:44,111 Again? 499 00:29:46,990 --> 00:29:48,867 What the hell. [laughs] 500 00:29:48,950 --> 00:29:50,452 Cool. 501 00:29:50,535 --> 00:29:52,412 [both laughing] 502 00:29:58,002 --> 00:29:59,961 - What about Edie? - We can't tell her. 503 00:30:00,086 --> 00:30:02,631 - She'd kill us both. - It'd be our little secret. 504 00:30:06,302 --> 00:30:09,221 We've really enjoyed having you as a guest. Right? 505 00:30:09,305 --> 00:30:11,266 Absolutely. 506 00:30:11,641 --> 00:30:16,521 Xiao Mei, you are a very special girl. So... so you take care, OK? 507 00:30:18,982 --> 00:30:20,150 Oh! 508 00:30:24,821 --> 00:30:29,035 - [Crowley] Thanks for all your help. - [Carlos] My pleasure, Father. 509 00:30:33,122 --> 00:30:35,667 - Bye-bye. - Ladies... 510 00:30:37,628 --> 00:30:41,298 Don't tell me you're crying, because you can't have the maid you want. 511 00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:43,675 Carlos, she wouldn't have been just a maid. 512 00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:46,053 She would have been the best damn maid ever. 513 00:30:46,136 --> 00:30:48,931 - God, you're pathetic. - Shut up. 514 00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:50,975 [Xiao Mei, woman speaking Chinese] 515 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,478 Hey. Something's going on. 516 00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:57,649 [arguing in Chinese] 517 00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:00,818 Father Crowley! 518 00:31:03,405 --> 00:31:04,739 Is there a problem? 519 00:31:04,822 --> 00:31:07,493 Xiao Mei doesn't want to go back to China. 520 00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:09,537 She wants to stay here and work for you. 521 00:31:09,662 --> 00:31:11,456 What? Why? 522 00:31:12,331 --> 00:31:16,001 [speaks Chinese] 523 00:31:18,463 --> 00:31:22,217 She says Mrs Solis treated her with more kindness than she's ever known. 524 00:31:22,342 --> 00:31:24,803 She now thinks of you two as family. 525 00:31:26,096 --> 00:31:28,473 Oh, really? 526 00:31:28,556 --> 00:31:31,518 Oh, of course, you can stay! 527 00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:34,730 [laughing] Oh! 528 00:31:35,982 --> 00:31:38,025 Gabby... 529 00:31:38,109 --> 00:31:40,736 Carlos, she thinks of us as family. 530 00:31:46,243 --> 00:31:49,830 I'm ready for those Farm Fresh concepts. Conference room in five... 531 00:31:49,913 --> 00:31:52,207 ...toilet boy! [laughs] 532 00:31:54,836 --> 00:31:57,463 - You're not allowed to complain. - You were right. 533 00:31:57,547 --> 00:32:00,800 I'm known throughout the advertising world as "toilet boy." 534 00:32:00,925 --> 00:32:04,178 Tell him you're done with games. You don't want to play anymore. 535 00:32:04,304 --> 00:32:07,306 I can't. If I back down now he'll see it as a sign of weakness. 536 00:32:07,432 --> 00:32:09,393 This is the way that guys do business. 537 00:32:09,476 --> 00:32:11,020 - But... - So he called it. 538 00:32:11,103 --> 00:32:13,772 He made me his bitch. 539 00:32:14,940 --> 00:32:16,275 Come on. 540 00:32:20,946 --> 00:32:22,532 Here you go. 541 00:32:22,615 --> 00:32:25,952 I've been thinking, we've had a lot of fun around here lately, 542 00:32:26,036 --> 00:32:30,499 but maybe it's time to set a slightly more professional tone in the office. 543 00:32:30,583 --> 00:32:32,876 Oh, I get it. 544 00:32:33,001 --> 00:32:35,879 - Somebody went running to mommy? - What? 545 00:32:35,962 --> 00:32:39,800 Tom loses a few bets, so he tries to get his wife to make me back off? 546 00:32:39,884 --> 00:32:42,971 Oh, this is so Alpha Tau. 547 00:32:43,095 --> 00:32:44,805 I am gonna make him pay. 548 00:32:44,889 --> 00:32:47,558 No. No, you're not gonna make him pay. 549 00:32:47,641 --> 00:32:50,479 You're gonna stop this now. 550 00:32:50,562 --> 00:32:52,355 This is my company. 551 00:32:52,481 --> 00:32:55,317 If people want to work here, they play by my rules. 552 00:33:00,071 --> 00:33:01,866 Uh... Ed! 553 00:33:01,991 --> 00:33:03,408 What? 554 00:33:04,410 --> 00:33:06,287 - I'm calling you out. - Huh? 555 00:33:06,412 --> 00:33:09,499 Yes, this is your company, so I'll play by your rules. 556 00:33:09,582 --> 00:33:13,169 What do I have to do to get you to stop this frat boy crap? 557 00:33:13,295 --> 00:33:16,632 Shave my eyebrows? Come to work naked? Name your stakes. 558 00:33:16,757 --> 00:33:20,344 - I don't have time for this. - Aw, what's wrong, Ed? 559 00:33:20,469 --> 00:33:22,597 Afraid a Phi Kapp's gonna be beat by a girl? 560 00:33:22,722 --> 00:33:25,182 Come on, big man. 561 00:33:26,142 --> 00:33:27,935 It's just a little bet. 562 00:33:30,313 --> 00:33:32,690 [exhales] 563 00:33:32,774 --> 00:33:37,237 As you know, I think that making the workplace fun is good for morale. 564 00:33:37,362 --> 00:33:40,532 But Lynette here thinks that our shenanigans 565 00:33:40,615 --> 00:33:42,409 have gotten a little out of hand. 566 00:33:42,493 --> 00:33:43,994 - [all groaning] - Ah... 567 00:33:44,078 --> 00:33:47,248 Hold on, hold on. I respect Lynette's work ethic. 568 00:33:47,331 --> 00:33:50,126 So we've decided to settle the matter 569 00:33:50,210 --> 00:33:53,296 with a little test of intestinal fortitude. 570 00:33:54,506 --> 00:33:57,842 If she can eat one pound 571 00:33:57,926 --> 00:34:02,722 of our client's fine Farm Fresh pork product raw... 572 00:34:02,847 --> 00:34:05,058 [all laughing] 573 00:34:05,142 --> 00:34:08,312 ...there will be a moratorium on wagering in the office. 574 00:34:10,273 --> 00:34:13,025 You're doing this for me. You don't need to. 575 00:34:13,109 --> 00:34:15,903 - I don't need you fighting my fights. - I am not. 576 00:34:15,987 --> 00:34:20,074 This is my fight. This is how guys do business, right? 577 00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,452 I gotta see this. 578 00:34:28,792 --> 00:34:30,420 [man] This is so disgusting. 579 00:34:32,129 --> 00:34:34,257 [woman] We're counting on you. 580 00:34:35,925 --> 00:34:37,468 While we're young. 581 00:34:40,179 --> 00:34:41,807 [all groaning] 582 00:34:45,978 --> 00:34:49,064 - [retching] - [woman] Go, girl. 583 00:34:49,148 --> 00:34:51,275 No shame in defeat, Lynette. 584 00:34:52,192 --> 00:34:53,736 No shame at all. 585 00:34:56,905 --> 00:34:59,783 [sighs, coughs] 586 00:34:59,867 --> 00:35:03,788 [applause] 587 00:35:05,957 --> 00:35:07,834 [all chattering] 588 00:35:35,989 --> 00:35:37,700 [woman] Oh, this is too much. 589 00:35:40,203 --> 00:35:43,289 - [belching] - [all] Ohh! 590 00:35:43,372 --> 00:35:45,917 Ahh. 591 00:35:46,001 --> 00:35:49,003 What? She took the bet! 592 00:35:49,755 --> 00:35:52,216 This is fun, people! 593 00:35:53,926 --> 00:35:57,096 - [woman] She has one more. - [Lynette] Uhh. 594 00:36:00,766 --> 00:36:04,437 - [coughing] - [all] Ooh! 595 00:36:08,483 --> 00:36:09,484 [coughs] 596 00:36:16,116 --> 00:36:18,409 So... 597 00:36:18,535 --> 00:36:21,956 ...can this be a place of business again, Ed? 598 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,624 No more games? 599 00:36:23,707 --> 00:36:25,084 Sure. 600 00:36:26,418 --> 00:36:28,546 You sucked all the fun out of it, anyway. 601 00:36:33,051 --> 00:36:36,471 - [woman] Gotta get back to work. - [man] Let's get out of here. 602 00:36:39,099 --> 00:36:42,060 [Tom] That was really something. 603 00:36:42,143 --> 00:36:43,603 Thanks. 604 00:36:44,564 --> 00:36:47,316 Could you scrounge me up a bucket? 605 00:36:52,321 --> 00:36:55,491 - [knocking on door] - [sighs] 606 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,914 Caleb said a nice red-haired lady came to visit him. 607 00:37:00,998 --> 00:37:02,624 Come on in, Betty. 608 00:37:07,212 --> 00:37:09,173 Get you a drink? 609 00:37:09,257 --> 00:37:10,799 This is not a social call. 610 00:37:10,882 --> 00:37:14,052 Did you or did you not break into my home and talk to my son? 611 00:37:14,177 --> 00:37:17,599 Caleb and I had a very lovely chat, yes. 612 00:37:17,683 --> 00:37:20,936 If you come near him again, there will be hell to pay. 613 00:37:21,020 --> 00:37:22,478 Do you understand? 614 00:37:25,524 --> 00:37:27,901 Aren't you gonna ask me what we talked about? 615 00:37:29,236 --> 00:37:33,074 The name, um... Melanie Foster came up. 616 00:37:35,826 --> 00:37:38,370 I'm gonna pour you a drink now, Betty, 617 00:37:38,495 --> 00:37:41,333 because we're about to have a very honest discussion, 618 00:37:41,416 --> 00:37:44,919 and I think you're gonna need a little help getting through it. 619 00:37:49,716 --> 00:37:52,678 [Mike] His name is Zach Young. He lives with his father. 620 00:37:52,762 --> 00:37:54,972 Mother committed suicide about a year ago. 621 00:37:55,097 --> 00:37:57,476 How did he end up with these people? 622 00:37:57,559 --> 00:38:00,102 How do you think? Deirdre was strung out. 623 00:38:00,186 --> 00:38:01,521 She gave him up. 624 00:38:01,604 --> 00:38:03,982 I want to see this boy. 625 00:38:04,107 --> 00:38:07,027 He's got a family. I can't snap my fingers and get him here. 626 00:38:07,110 --> 00:38:11,031 But I can snap my fingers, and Detective Sullivan can make it happen. 627 00:38:11,156 --> 00:38:12,532 - You don't want to. - No? 628 00:38:12,616 --> 00:38:15,870 Is that the way you want to meet him? Have that thug drag him here 629 00:38:15,953 --> 00:38:18,080 so Grandpa can give him a hug? 630 00:38:19,082 --> 00:38:21,918 Fine, you bring him. I'll give you two days. 631 00:38:22,001 --> 00:38:24,670 As you know, I'm on a bit of a clock here. 632 00:38:31,970 --> 00:38:33,429 When Caleb was born, 633 00:38:33,513 --> 00:38:37,185 and the doctors discovered that he was different, 634 00:38:37,810 --> 00:38:39,853 I didn't even cry. 635 00:38:42,398 --> 00:38:46,694 It was the most painful moment of my life. 636 00:38:47,570 --> 00:38:49,864 I didn't shed a single tear. 637 00:38:50,698 --> 00:38:53,535 I just thought to myself, "What's the point? 638 00:38:53,618 --> 00:38:55,996 He is my son, 639 00:38:56,080 --> 00:39:00,126 and I have to raise him as best I can. 640 00:39:00,209 --> 00:39:02,670 Now, that's my job." 641 00:39:04,213 --> 00:39:07,049 In a lot of ways, I feel so blessed. 642 00:39:07,133 --> 00:39:11,054 Caleb is challenged, but he has such a sweet nature. 643 00:39:12,764 --> 00:39:15,767 I'm sure you noticed that when you came to visit. 644 00:39:16,434 --> 00:39:18,061 Yes, I did. 645 00:39:19,479 --> 00:39:22,984 I also noticed that you had him chained in the basement. 646 00:39:26,279 --> 00:39:28,739 That's because of Melanie Foster. 647 00:39:30,950 --> 00:39:35,998 Melanie was a girl that Matthew dated. 648 00:39:36,081 --> 00:39:38,208 She was a debutante. 649 00:39:38,333 --> 00:39:41,127 And like typical teenagers, 650 00:39:41,210 --> 00:39:44,131 their relationship was full of drama. 651 00:39:44,214 --> 00:39:48,219 They were always breaking up, getting back together, breaking up. 652 00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:51,306 One night, after one of their big blowups, 653 00:39:51,431 --> 00:39:53,808 Caleb somehow convinced Melanie 654 00:39:53,933 --> 00:39:56,937 to meet him down at our local lumberyard. 655 00:39:57,061 --> 00:40:00,024 I can only imagine that she thought he was bringing 656 00:40:00,107 --> 00:40:02,150 some kind of apology from Matthew. 657 00:40:02,275 --> 00:40:03,903 But he wasn't. 658 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,490 Caleb told Melanie he was in love with her 659 00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:14,371 and that if he was her boyfriend, he would never break up with her. 660 00:40:16,458 --> 00:40:18,919 And she laughed in his face. 661 00:40:19,586 --> 00:40:22,923 He tried to show her he was serious by kissing her. 662 00:40:24,592 --> 00:40:26,551 And she hit him. 663 00:40:30,389 --> 00:40:32,767 He doesn't remember a lot after that. 664 00:40:32,891 --> 00:40:36,062 But he does know that he got very, very angry and... 665 00:40:38,314 --> 00:40:41,567 And that there was an ax lying on the ground nearby him. 666 00:40:45,822 --> 00:40:50,535 Yes, my Caleb killed Melanie. 667 00:40:51,871 --> 00:40:54,791 But I couldn't let him go to jail. 668 00:40:55,792 --> 00:40:58,795 Or worse, be put down, 669 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,090 for what was really my crime. 670 00:41:02,215 --> 00:41:04,093 Your crime? 671 00:41:07,054 --> 00:41:09,597 It was my responsibility. 672 00:41:10,641 --> 00:41:13,185 I was supposed to protect him from himself. 673 00:41:13,268 --> 00:41:15,396 I am his mother. 674 00:41:16,356 --> 00:41:18,816 That was my job. 675 00:41:31,956 --> 00:41:36,043 [Mary Alice] The world is filled with unlikely friendships. 676 00:41:36,793 --> 00:41:38,838 How do they begin? 677 00:41:38,963 --> 00:41:41,966 With one person desperately in need 678 00:41:42,508 --> 00:41:45,928 and another willing to lend a helping hand. 679 00:41:47,180 --> 00:41:51,560 When such kindness is offered, we're finally able to see the worth 680 00:41:52,476 --> 00:41:54,855 of those we had previously written off. 681 00:41:56,857 --> 00:41:59,402 And before we know it, 682 00:41:59,485 --> 00:42:02,029 a bond has formed, 683 00:42:02,822 --> 00:42:06,242 regardless of whether others can understand it. 684 00:42:07,452 --> 00:42:11,290 Yes, unlikely friendships start up every day. 685 00:42:12,082 --> 00:42:16,544 No one understands this more than the lonely. 686 00:42:19,089 --> 00:42:23,177 In fact, it's what they count on.