1 00:00:02,573 --> 00:00:04,533 [Mary Alice] Previously on Desperate Housewives: 2 00:00:04,616 --> 00:00:06,577 If Libby likes us as much as we like her, 3 00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:09,204 we should go ahead and move to adopt her baby girl. 4 00:00:09,329 --> 00:00:10,956 - Who's the father? - I don't know. 5 00:00:11,081 --> 00:00:13,041 Carlos and Gabby made a deal... 6 00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:16,503 I did remarry my ex. It was only because he has great health insurance. 7 00:00:16,628 --> 00:00:17,963 ... Susan made amends... 8 00:00:18,046 --> 00:00:22,092 Never thought I'd have such a good time with my girlfriend and her husband. 9 00:00:22,176 --> 00:00:24,469 ...and Mike... - Didn't she mention we dated? 10 00:00:24,595 --> 00:00:26,305 ...made a confession... - Liar! 11 00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:28,974 You're obviously still in love with this guy! 12 00:00:29,057 --> 00:00:31,101 ...of his own. - [whimpers] 13 00:00:32,811 --> 00:00:35,022 [Mary Alice] On her first day of sobriety, 14 00:00:35,105 --> 00:00:37,649 Bree Van De Kamp found an old cork 15 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:41,487 which reminded her just how much she craved Chablis. 16 00:00:42,113 --> 00:00:44,157 So she called her sponsor, 17 00:00:44,282 --> 00:00:49,662 who came over with a DVD which they watched till her craving had passed. 18 00:00:50,371 --> 00:00:53,958 Five days later, after she'd developed a thirst for merlot, 19 00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:56,753 Peter arrived with a deck of cards. 20 00:00:56,836 --> 00:00:59,464 The next week, he brought over Chinese take-out, 21 00:00:59,547 --> 00:01:02,175 because Bree had told him she was consumed 22 00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:04,928 by thoughts of vintage chardonnay. 23 00:01:05,845 --> 00:01:07,972 By her 20th day of sobriety, 24 00:01:08,056 --> 00:01:11,976 Bree had stopped thinking about alcohol, altogether, 25 00:01:12,101 --> 00:01:14,312 because her thoughts were now centred... 26 00:01:14,395 --> 00:01:16,022 ... elsewhere. 27 00:01:16,147 --> 00:01:18,816 [Peter humming] 28 00:01:20,818 --> 00:01:24,322 I'm curious, Peter, what is the easiest way to overcome addiction? 29 00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:27,241 Well, some folks try shock therapy, 30 00:01:27,325 --> 00:01:29,452 others use, uh, hypnosis. 31 00:01:29,535 --> 00:01:33,539 But taking it one day at a time still makes the most sense to me. Why? 32 00:01:33,623 --> 00:01:36,793 I don't know, I guess I'm just impatient to get on with my life. 33 00:01:42,465 --> 00:01:43,633 What are you doing? 34 00:01:43,716 --> 00:01:46,552 [chuckling] Just giving you a little kiss. 35 00:01:46,636 --> 00:01:48,221 Why? 36 00:01:48,304 --> 00:01:52,767 It's just my way of saying "thank you" for everything you've done for me. 37 00:01:54,602 --> 00:01:57,147 What's wrong? 38 00:01:57,231 --> 00:02:00,025 This is gonna seem like it's coming out of left field, 39 00:02:00,109 --> 00:02:02,653 but in addition to being a recovering alcoholic, 40 00:02:02,778 --> 00:02:04,988 I'm also a member of S.A. 41 00:02:06,782 --> 00:02:09,159 Sex Addicts Anonymous. 42 00:02:12,204 --> 00:02:15,040 Oh. And that's a... a real thing? 43 00:02:15,124 --> 00:02:19,253 Yes. Sex is as much an addiction for me as booze. 44 00:02:19,336 --> 00:02:21,714 That's why when you turn me on it's a problem. 45 00:02:21,839 --> 00:02:23,465 It was just a peck on the cheek. 46 00:02:23,549 --> 00:02:27,052 It doesn't matter. The slightest touch gets my juices flowing. 47 00:02:28,429 --> 00:02:31,765 So how long has it been since you... 48 00:02:31,849 --> 00:02:33,267 A year. 49 00:02:34,226 --> 00:02:36,520 They have this rule: Plant, pet, person. 50 00:02:36,645 --> 00:02:40,774 If I can keep a plant alive, then I can move on to a pet. 51 00:02:40,858 --> 00:02:44,778 If I can make that work, then I can start dating again. 52 00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:47,990 - So how are you doing? - I'm on my fourth ficus. 53 00:02:48,073 --> 00:02:49,616 Oh. 54 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,577 [chuckles] 55 00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:04,006 See? You can handle affection better than you give yourself credit for. 56 00:03:07,551 --> 00:03:09,428 [both moaning] 57 00:03:15,643 --> 00:03:18,104 - [moaning] - [glass breaking] 58 00:03:18,188 --> 00:03:19,647 What? 59 00:03:19,731 --> 00:03:22,400 I'm sorry. Um, I think I should go. 60 00:03:22,484 --> 00:03:23,735 - Really? - Yeah. 61 00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:27,780 Peter! But... You forgot your shirt! 62 00:03:28,406 --> 00:03:29,657 Keep it! 63 00:03:29,741 --> 00:03:31,618 [door opens and closes] 64 00:03:31,701 --> 00:03:36,497 [Mary Alice] Though she didn't know it, Bree had answered her own question. 65 00:03:36,581 --> 00:03:40,418 The easiest way to overcome one addiction 66 00:03:40,501 --> 00:03:44,339 - is to replace it with another. - [sighing] 67 00:03:51,679 --> 00:03:53,389 [Mary Alice] Temptation. 68 00:03:53,473 --> 00:03:55,850 It's the name of a well-known establishment 69 00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:58,144 on the outskirts of Fairview. 70 00:03:58,228 --> 00:04:00,772 Its clientele is devoted. 71 00:04:01,314 --> 00:04:06,110 Everyone who goes there wants to get their hands on something. 72 00:04:06,194 --> 00:04:09,030 And when they cross a line... 73 00:04:09,113 --> 00:04:10,740 Hey! I warned you, pal! 74 00:04:10,865 --> 00:04:13,534 ... they are punished, 75 00:04:13,618 --> 00:04:17,038 as a certain married couple was about to discover. 76 00:04:17,163 --> 00:04:19,040 Hi. 77 00:04:19,123 --> 00:04:20,541 You want a lap dance? 78 00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:22,794 Uh... 79 00:04:24,003 --> 00:04:26,131 No, thanks, no. 80 00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:30,761 I sure hope Libby likes this camera. 81 00:04:32,012 --> 00:04:34,682 Why wouldn't she? It's exactly what she asked for, 82 00:04:34,765 --> 00:04:36,725 the most expensive one in the store. 83 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:39,603 Carlos, I'm getting really tired of kissing her ass. 84 00:04:39,687 --> 00:04:43,774 The woman is giving us her baby. We'll kiss whatever needs kissing. 85 00:04:45,442 --> 00:04:47,736 What the hell are you guys doing here? 86 00:04:47,861 --> 00:04:51,699 We brought you this gift. You said you didn't want us coming by your house. 87 00:04:51,782 --> 00:04:54,743 Thanks, but I'm working, so you gotta go. 88 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,620 We spent a lot of money on that. 89 00:04:56,704 --> 00:05:00,290 The least you can do is open it so we can bask in your happy expression. 90 00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:02,543 Is there a problem here? 91 00:05:02,626 --> 00:05:05,003 No, we were just talking, everything's fine. 92 00:05:05,129 --> 00:05:08,716 Carlos Solis, my wife, Gabrielle. We're friends of Libby's. 93 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:12,094 Oh, hey, I'm Frank, Libby's boyfriend. 94 00:05:12,177 --> 00:05:13,429 Huh... 95 00:05:13,554 --> 00:05:15,931 Libby, you didn't tell us you had a boyfriend. 96 00:05:16,056 --> 00:05:18,016 Didn't I? I thought I had. 97 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,811 What's that? A present for our baby? 98 00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,355 [chuckles] 99 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,524 I'm sorry, did you just say "our" baby? 100 00:05:25,607 --> 00:05:28,610 Yeah. It's our first. 101 00:05:31,989 --> 00:05:34,533 Hey, what's for lunch? 102 00:05:34,658 --> 00:05:36,702 Omelettes. You want me to make you one? 103 00:05:36,785 --> 00:05:38,829 No, thank you, I'll just pick at yours. 104 00:05:38,912 --> 00:05:41,207 I didn't know you still had a key, Dad. 105 00:05:41,332 --> 00:05:43,793 I have to watch out for my two favourite ladies. 106 00:05:43,918 --> 00:05:46,296 - Try the cheese. That's the best part. - Hmm. 107 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:49,090 You mean two of your three favourite ladies. 108 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:52,969 You know, when you add in Edie. 109 00:05:53,762 --> 00:05:54,846 Right, of course. 110 00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:57,265 And speaking of Edie, I have some big news. 111 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:00,935 I finally did it. I popped the question. 112 00:06:01,019 --> 00:06:02,812 [gasps] Congratulations, Dad! 113 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,815 Yeah. Congratulations. Um... 114 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,859 What happened to waiting six months? 115 00:06:07,984 --> 00:06:10,445 Edie and I aren't getting married tomorrow. 116 00:06:10,528 --> 00:06:13,406 It takes months to plan a classy wedding. 117 00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:15,825 Remember ours, hmm? 118 00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:17,660 You had to have it outdoors. 119 00:06:17,785 --> 00:06:21,831 [groans] It poured. I could have murdered that weatherman. 120 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:26,127 [laughs] We were all crammed under this little gazebo thingy. 121 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:28,505 I thought the whole wedding day was ruined. 122 00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:31,591 I loved it. It felt spontaneous. 123 00:06:31,674 --> 00:06:36,054 All our friends gathered close around us. 124 00:06:36,179 --> 00:06:37,263 Remember? 125 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,226 You said it was the happiest day of your life. 126 00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:45,396 [chuckling] 127 00:06:46,731 --> 00:06:50,068 Just like you marrying Edie will be the happiest day of her life. 128 00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:53,279 Yeah, right. 129 00:06:53,404 --> 00:06:54,656 Her too. 130 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:55,783 Toodles. 131 00:07:02,873 --> 00:07:03,874 Oh, hi. 132 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:05,167 Hello. 133 00:07:05,251 --> 00:07:08,337 Andrew said it was all right for me to get a cream soda. 134 00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:12,883 Uh, sure, help yourself. There's also frosted glasses in the freezer. 135 00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:15,094 Can is fine, but thank you. 136 00:07:15,177 --> 00:07:17,221 Oh, and, uh, I left a list for you 137 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:20,557 of the witnesses we'll be deposing. It's there on the counter. 138 00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:35,364 Hi. 139 00:07:35,447 --> 00:07:36,782 Hi. 140 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,912 I know that you're still angry with me, and, um... 141 00:07:42,871 --> 00:07:45,791 ...I wanted to tell you that I have, um... 142 00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:49,336 ...joined a recovery programme. 143 00:07:50,629 --> 00:07:51,714 AA. 144 00:07:52,631 --> 00:07:54,675 I just wanted you to know that. 145 00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:57,344 And to tell you I'm sorry. 146 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,346 You are... 147 00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:02,850 ...[sighs] a real friend, and I value your honesty. 148 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:08,522 Oh. I don't want to be mad anymore. [sniffles] 149 00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:11,568 And I'm so happy to hear all that. And I am so proud of you. 150 00:08:11,651 --> 00:08:13,945 Oh, thanks, but I'm not out of the woods yet. 151 00:08:14,029 --> 00:08:16,990 I still have this whole court case hanging over my head. 152 00:08:17,073 --> 00:08:19,826 I heard about it. Andrew's asking to be emancipated? 153 00:08:19,909 --> 00:08:24,205 Yes. His lawyer is taking depositions now to see if I am a fit parent. 154 00:08:24,289 --> 00:08:25,874 [shudders] 155 00:08:25,957 --> 00:08:28,960 And considering that mishap that I had with your kids, 156 00:08:29,085 --> 00:08:31,838 I, uh, I imagine he'll be anxious to talk to you. 157 00:08:31,921 --> 00:08:33,882 That makes sense, I guess. 158 00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:35,759 Yeah. 159 00:08:35,884 --> 00:08:38,762 Do you have any idea what you might say? 160 00:08:40,138 --> 00:08:41,765 I, um... 161 00:08:46,478 --> 00:08:48,855 I'll focus on your good qualities. 162 00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:51,357 - [sighs] - [chuckles] 163 00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:53,735 I could not ask for anything more. 164 00:08:54,402 --> 00:08:55,403 Thanks. 165 00:08:55,528 --> 00:08:58,156 - See you around, I hope. - All right. 166 00:08:58,239 --> 00:09:01,326 That's not why you came to apologise, is it? 167 00:09:02,243 --> 00:09:03,411 What do you mean? 168 00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:06,706 To soften me up for the deposition. 169 00:09:08,041 --> 00:09:09,125 Of course not. 170 00:09:12,629 --> 00:09:14,088 Um... 171 00:09:14,923 --> 00:09:17,050 I just want you to understand something. 172 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:21,513 Andrew is making accusations, 173 00:09:21,596 --> 00:09:24,307 false accusations, saying that I abused him. 174 00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:29,647 All because I wouldn't let him have his trust fund early so he could buy a car. 175 00:09:30,523 --> 00:09:33,943 I mean, can you blame me for wanting to know if I have your support? 176 00:09:35,694 --> 00:09:38,572 And so, what? 177 00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:42,117 You want me to lie? Make you look good? 178 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,998 I actually don't want anything of the sort! 179 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:50,960 Good. 180 00:09:51,043 --> 00:09:54,964 Because when I give my deposition, I'm going to tell the truth. 181 00:10:08,227 --> 00:10:11,563 - To what do I owe this pleasure? - I want you to look at something. 182 00:10:18,404 --> 00:10:20,864 Myra Holt is talking to Paul Young. 183 00:10:20,948 --> 00:10:24,994 Chatting away with him. Now, I told her he killed my sister. 184 00:10:25,077 --> 00:10:26,954 I mentioned it to her six months ago 185 00:10:27,079 --> 00:10:29,999 when we were standing in the express line at the market. 186 00:10:30,082 --> 00:10:32,209 But still, there she is, yakking away. 187 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,420 Oh, Mike. 188 00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:37,506 I'm afraid people's memories aren't what they used to be. 189 00:10:38,215 --> 00:10:40,342 What do you want, Felicia? 190 00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:43,013 I want to see how good your memory is. 191 00:10:43,096 --> 00:10:45,765 If you recall a certain promise you made to me. 192 00:10:45,849 --> 00:10:47,475 I am not gonna kill him. 193 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,227 Why not? Give me a good reason. 194 00:10:49,311 --> 00:10:50,562 Things have changed. 195 00:10:50,687 --> 00:10:54,274 How? My sister still lies rotting in the ground. So does Deirdre. 196 00:10:54,399 --> 00:10:56,693 I don't see how anything's changed at all. 197 00:10:56,776 --> 00:10:58,737 You're just gonna have to let this go. 198 00:10:58,862 --> 00:11:02,198 Sounds to me as though someone's let go of his rage. 199 00:11:03,491 --> 00:11:05,201 Maybe I have. 200 00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:07,746 Well, I haven't. 201 00:11:11,624 --> 00:11:15,211 That bitch of a stripper lied to us! The father's totally in the dark. 202 00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:17,088 He clearly wants to keep the baby. 203 00:11:17,172 --> 00:11:18,339 Mr Solis, 204 00:11:18,423 --> 00:11:22,260 if the father wants to assert his rights here, there's nothing we can do. 205 00:11:22,343 --> 00:11:24,054 I'll find you another baby. 206 00:11:24,179 --> 00:11:25,889 I want this one! 207 00:11:25,972 --> 00:11:29,726 Honey, he's right. That trashy girl's been lying to us from the get-go. 208 00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:32,437 Let's walk away while we can. It's not worth it. 209 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,231 Don't get cold feet now, Gabby, please. All right? 210 00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:38,651 Let's pay Frank the way we paid Libby, and bring the baby home. 211 00:11:38,735 --> 00:11:41,613 Wait, wait, wait. You paid Libby? 212 00:11:41,696 --> 00:11:44,699 You said we could give her gifts. Everybody loves cash. 213 00:11:44,783 --> 00:11:46,993 [sighing] 214 00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:50,288 I could probably be disbarred for even listening to this. 215 00:11:50,371 --> 00:11:52,749 I cannot condone baby buying! 216 00:11:52,832 --> 00:11:54,626 I sure as hell can't be part of it. 217 00:11:54,751 --> 00:11:56,962 - Oh, Mr Beale, come on... - No! Hear me out. 218 00:11:57,922 --> 00:12:00,382 If you are determined to go down this dark road, 219 00:12:00,508 --> 00:12:02,468 and unbeknownst to me, steal this... 220 00:12:02,551 --> 00:12:05,387 ...paternal rights waiver that's sitting on my desk, 221 00:12:05,471 --> 00:12:08,390 and have this Frank guy sign both sides and date the top, 222 00:12:09,183 --> 00:12:11,852 I can't be part of that either. 223 00:12:14,438 --> 00:12:15,773 Hmm. 224 00:12:19,276 --> 00:12:21,070 OK, I'm gonna go to Dad's. 225 00:12:21,153 --> 00:12:23,697 Oh, wait, why don't you let me walk with you? 226 00:12:23,781 --> 00:12:25,908 Shouldn't you be resting? No, I'm fine. 227 00:12:26,033 --> 00:12:29,036 The doctor said I should actually keep my blood flowing. 228 00:12:29,119 --> 00:12:31,997 Well, do you have to do it while we walk over to Edie's? 229 00:12:32,081 --> 00:12:35,668 I just... I don't want to risk you running into Dad. 230 00:12:35,793 --> 00:12:37,253 OK. 231 00:12:37,336 --> 00:12:39,880 You guys have just been so chummy lately, and... 232 00:12:40,005 --> 00:12:42,716 ...this flirting thing is kind of freaking me out. 233 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,177 Wait a second, we're not flirting. 234 00:12:45,719 --> 00:12:47,680 Mom, you fed him eggs with your fork. 235 00:12:48,806 --> 00:12:53,102 OK, yes, I am closer to your father than I have been in the past. 236 00:12:53,227 --> 00:12:57,398 The bitter hatred's now settled into a respectful disgust. 237 00:12:57,481 --> 00:13:00,818 That's the kind of thing most children of divorce dream about. 238 00:13:05,781 --> 00:13:07,825 Hey, Edie. What's all this stuff for? 239 00:13:07,908 --> 00:13:09,451 Oh, hi. 240 00:13:09,535 --> 00:13:12,539 Don't tell anyone. I'm planning a huge surprise for Karl. 241 00:13:12,622 --> 00:13:13,623 A surprise? 242 00:13:13,748 --> 00:13:17,002 I'm putting together an engagement party tomorrow afternoon. 243 00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:18,295 Oh, cool. 244 00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:20,755 But that's not the surprise. 245 00:13:20,839 --> 00:13:23,675 Actually, it's going to be a surprise wedding. 246 00:13:25,343 --> 00:13:26,344 [coughing] 247 00:13:26,428 --> 00:13:29,347 My Pilates teacher got ordained over the Internet. 248 00:13:29,931 --> 00:13:34,227 The Church of the Divine something or other, I'm not sure. 249 00:13:34,352 --> 00:13:36,730 Anyway, it's all legal, and, well, 250 00:13:36,813 --> 00:13:40,650 just one more day before I make an honest man out of your daddy. 251 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,407 Oh, you're so sweet. 252 00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:50,368 Thank you so much for your good wishes. 253 00:13:51,536 --> 00:13:53,496 Oh. No, Edie, wait, no. 254 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:56,249 It's just that, I, you know, I was married to Karl, 255 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,960 and I used to try to surprise him, 256 00:13:59,044 --> 00:14:03,089 and he would always, always, always, say, 257 00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:07,093 "No, Susan, don't surprise me. I don't like it!" 258 00:14:07,886 --> 00:14:11,139 Whatever. I'm doing it, so keep your trap shut. 259 00:14:11,264 --> 00:14:14,684 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and buy a wedding dress. 260 00:14:15,852 --> 00:14:20,482 By the way, I'll be wearing white. So that'll be a surprise for everybody. 261 00:14:21,441 --> 00:14:23,568 [fake laugh] 262 00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:28,991 I don't know why I have to get dragged into this. 263 00:14:29,116 --> 00:14:33,370 What happened with my kids has nothing to do with Bree's situation with Andrew. 264 00:14:33,454 --> 00:14:34,705 Sit. 265 00:14:34,789 --> 00:14:38,709 Well, it's my understanding that real harm could have come to your children 266 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,378 as a direct result of your friend's behaviour. 267 00:14:41,462 --> 00:14:44,131 I'm sorry, Mr Bormanis, I'm not going to testify. 268 00:14:44,215 --> 00:14:46,175 It just doesn't feel right to me. 269 00:14:46,258 --> 00:14:49,220 This isn't the first time someone's felt the way you do. 270 00:14:50,346 --> 00:14:53,933 So this isn't the first time I've had to say that... 271 00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:57,061 ...if you refuse to give a deposition of your own accord, 272 00:14:57,144 --> 00:14:58,771 I'll compel you to give one. 273 00:14:58,896 --> 00:15:00,356 [briefcase snaps open] 274 00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:04,443 But I'm sure I won't have to. 275 00:15:13,661 --> 00:15:15,621 You're saying Bree did this? 276 00:15:15,746 --> 00:15:17,373 While under the influence. 277 00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:22,545 I understand your reluctance to turn on a friend. 278 00:15:22,628 --> 00:15:24,213 But this isn't about you. 279 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,174 It's about Andrew. 280 00:15:27,299 --> 00:15:29,844 Don't you think he's suffered enough? 281 00:15:37,268 --> 00:15:39,395 [Gabby] How much are you gonna give him? 282 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,398 I figured we could start with forty. 283 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,899 Thousand? 284 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:46,236 He's a bouncer in a strip club, offer him eight. 285 00:15:46,361 --> 00:15:48,905 He's not going to sell his baby for $8,000. 286 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,991 Are we talking about the same idiot? 287 00:15:51,074 --> 00:15:53,201 I think for $8,000 he'd throw in a kidney. 288 00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:55,996 I'm not gonna blow this by bargain hunting. 289 00:15:56,079 --> 00:15:59,749 When you bought your car you paid sticker. Nobody pays sticker. 290 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:02,586 What's the sticker price on a child? Tell me that. 291 00:16:02,669 --> 00:16:05,130 I'm thinking 12. 292 00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:11,094 Frank, you have to sign the paper, I made a deal with these people. 293 00:16:11,219 --> 00:16:15,432 A deal? This isn't a used car we're talking about. It's our baby! 294 00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:18,518 Before you screw it up, remember that I can go to the cops, 295 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,396 tell them about the pot farm you have in our basement. 296 00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:23,857 [laughing] 297 00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,567 It's just a couple plants. 298 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:28,570 You know, I don't do it for profit. 299 00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:30,113 It's a hobby, mostly. 300 00:16:30,196 --> 00:16:33,033 Come on, Frank. You know you would be a lousy father. 301 00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:36,077 It's my kid. And I have a right to mess her up if I want. 302 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,787 If you go near the police, 303 00:16:37,912 --> 00:16:41,333 I'll tell them you've been stealing all those tips. 304 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,835 OK, we're done. 305 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,338 Gabby, Gabby, now, just hold on. 306 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:50,216 Now, maybe there's a way that we can work this out together. 307 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:54,220 There's nothing to work out. If Frank's not on board with this, it's over. 308 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,764 Wait. Uh... 309 00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:57,558 It doesn't matter what he wants. 310 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,604 - Why not? - Because it's not your baby. 311 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:05,858 That's a lie. 312 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,235 Will a paternity test shut you up? 313 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,529 If it's not Frank's, then whose is it? 314 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,240 I'm not sure. 315 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:17,161 All's I know is I got pregnant right after I worked at the Calgary rodeo. 316 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:21,207 And I was very popular there. 317 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,834 You screwed a bunch of cowboys? 318 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:29,131 You have your hobbies, [mimics inhale] and I have mine. 319 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,138 - You think this is funny? - Oh, don't you get it? 320 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,892 We just got our baby back. 321 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,738 Well, you take care now. 322 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,617 [clears throat] Yeah. 323 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,955 Hi. 324 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:05,292 I got your message that you wanted to see me before the meeting started. 325 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:09,213 Yeah. I did. Um, there's someone I'd like to introduce you to. 326 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,635 Bree, this is Donna. 327 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,596 - Donna, this is Bree. - What's up? 328 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,722 Hi. 329 00:18:17,848 --> 00:18:20,308 Donna is gonna be your new sponsor. 330 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:26,148 I don't want a new sponsor. I'm very comfortable working with you. 331 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,611 This was always just a temporary arrangement, 332 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:33,905 and given what happened the other night, 333 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,533 I think it's best if we just end this now. 334 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,785 Peter, all we did was kiss. 335 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,914 [sighing] 336 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:46,585 We'd be kidding ourselves if we didn't think that... 337 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:49,838 ...whatever's between us isn't gonna affect our recovery. 338 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,133 It's not a good time for change in my life, Peter. 339 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:56,636 Terrible things are happening, I'm headed to court. 340 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,055 I need your support now more than ever. 341 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:02,976 You'll have support, Bree. It just won't be mine. 342 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,686 But, Peter... 343 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:12,611 - Bree could never have done that. - I'm telling you what the lawyer said. 344 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:16,323 So you think Bree punched Andrew in the face? Cos I don't. 345 00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,241 I don't either! 346 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:22,871 But on the other hand, she spanked my kids, she lied about her drinking, 347 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,166 and I once saw her bitch-slap her mother-in-law. 348 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,877 So I'm torn. 349 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,087 Well, I'm siding with Bree. 350 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:33,466 How can you be so sure? 351 00:19:33,591 --> 00:19:37,011 We have Andrew saying that it's systematic physical abuse. 352 00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:40,598 And then we have Bree saying it's Andrew wanting to be emancipated 353 00:19:40,723 --> 00:19:43,184 so he can get at his trust fund so he can buy a car. 354 00:19:43,309 --> 00:19:45,269 How are we supposed to know the truth? 355 00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:48,439 Because I remember being 17. 356 00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:50,733 And I would have done a hell of a lot more 357 00:19:50,816 --> 00:19:53,110 than punch myself in the eye to get a car. 358 00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:57,657 [tapping cane] 359 00:19:58,741 --> 00:20:00,451 Karl! 360 00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:02,620 Karl! Stop, stop! 361 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:04,705 It's an emergency! 362 00:20:04,789 --> 00:20:08,459 - Just calm down. What's going on? - Edie is gonna marry you tomorrow! 363 00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:09,585 What? 364 00:20:09,669 --> 00:20:12,922 She's planned this whole secret wedding! It's a surprise! 365 00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:15,466 God, I hate surprises. 366 00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:17,009 I know. I told her that. 367 00:20:17,093 --> 00:20:19,720 I said, he always, always hates surprises. 368 00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:22,264 All right, don't get yourself all worked up. 369 00:20:22,348 --> 00:20:25,684 We'll put our heads together, and we'll come up with something. 370 00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:29,939 So the thing you gotta know about me is my style is proactive. 371 00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:32,400 I don't hold your hand if you go on a bender. 372 00:20:32,525 --> 00:20:34,652 I believe in behaviour modification. 373 00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:35,986 Hmm. Some muffins? 374 00:20:36,987 --> 00:20:39,990 That's OK, I'm not big on snacks. 375 00:20:40,825 --> 00:20:43,745 You should also know... I'm not a lesbian. 376 00:20:45,705 --> 00:20:48,792 Oh. Well, good for you. 377 00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:53,046 Well, see, if I was, the programme wouldn't let me be your sponsor. 378 00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:57,134 Not great for your recovery if we get tangled up in a little something. 379 00:20:57,676 --> 00:21:02,139 So, um, whatever vibe you might be getting, that's all on you. 380 00:21:04,266 --> 00:21:06,560 Um, Donna... 381 00:21:08,353 --> 00:21:12,107 ...I really appreciate everything that you've been doing for me. 382 00:21:12,232 --> 00:21:14,776 But I think I was really making some progress 383 00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:17,320 with Peter as my sponsor, and I was thinking... 384 00:21:17,445 --> 00:21:19,489 All right, stop right there! 385 00:21:19,614 --> 00:21:21,241 You're fixating on Peter. 386 00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:24,327 I feel like I'm jeopardizing my recovery by switching. 387 00:21:24,411 --> 00:21:26,288 You're making excuses. 388 00:21:26,371 --> 00:21:30,667 See, I have a 99 percent success rate as a sponsor 389 00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:35,255 because I have zero percent tolerance for people who lie to themselves. 390 00:21:35,338 --> 00:21:36,756 Now come on. 391 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,050 Come on? Where are we going? 392 00:21:39,134 --> 00:21:42,387 Hiking. There's nothing like it to take your mind off booze. 393 00:21:45,932 --> 00:21:47,642 I got it. I'll just be the woman. 394 00:21:47,726 --> 00:21:50,437 I'll say I want a big wedding, you know, the church, 395 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,024 big ballroom, smushing cake in her face. It'll take months to plan. 396 00:21:54,149 --> 00:21:55,317 That's great. 397 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,905 I'll have to tell her you're the one who ruined the surprise. 398 00:21:58,988 --> 00:22:01,782 - You're gonna make me take the hit? - Yeah. 399 00:22:03,784 --> 00:22:05,578 Hey. Whatcha doing out here? 400 00:22:05,703 --> 00:22:08,706 Uh... Just talking. 401 00:22:08,789 --> 00:22:11,334 Well, come on in. I've got something to show you. 402 00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:14,211 - Oh, no, that's OK. - Come on! You'll love this. 403 00:22:20,676 --> 00:22:23,930 Wait until I leave to tell her, because she's gonna kill me. 404 00:22:29,101 --> 00:22:30,978 Well, I should go. 405 00:22:32,271 --> 00:22:36,025 I'm not going to scream or cry or pound your faces in with a mallet, 406 00:22:36,859 --> 00:22:38,819 which, Lord knows, is my right. 407 00:22:38,903 --> 00:22:43,074 But what I will say is that you two are the most reprehensible excuses 408 00:22:43,157 --> 00:22:45,284 for human beings that I have ever met! 409 00:22:46,702 --> 00:22:48,496 Do you have anything to add? 410 00:22:54,502 --> 00:22:57,922 Right. What the hell. 411 00:23:24,658 --> 00:23:25,826 Hey, Mrs Scavo. 412 00:23:26,410 --> 00:23:28,620 That's, uh, that's a sweet ride. 413 00:23:28,704 --> 00:23:30,664 Yeah, you think so? 414 00:23:31,832 --> 00:23:34,918 Come over here for a second, I'd like to pick your brain. 415 00:23:39,297 --> 00:23:42,259 You're the demographic that my client is interested in. 416 00:23:42,342 --> 00:23:45,762 You'd be doing me a favour if you drove it for a couple hours and... 417 00:23:46,346 --> 00:23:48,974 ...tell me what you thought. Do you mind? 418 00:23:49,975 --> 00:23:51,476 Are you kidding me? 419 00:23:51,977 --> 00:23:54,271 I can't believe you are old enough to drive. 420 00:23:54,354 --> 00:23:56,898 I still remember when you were ten-years-old. 421 00:23:56,982 --> 00:23:58,942 I paid you a dollar to rake our leaves. 422 00:23:59,025 --> 00:24:01,945 Yeah, yeah, you were pretty cheap. 423 00:24:02,028 --> 00:24:03,613 [both chuckle] 424 00:24:04,823 --> 00:24:07,033 Is this set up for MP3? 425 00:24:07,117 --> 00:24:09,077 Uh, all the bells and whistles. 426 00:24:09,161 --> 00:24:11,037 But, listen, 427 00:24:11,121 --> 00:24:13,957 I really wanted to tell you how sorry I am. 428 00:24:14,624 --> 00:24:15,876 Hmm? 429 00:24:17,627 --> 00:24:21,715 Your lawyer came to see me. I'm going to be deposed. 430 00:24:23,383 --> 00:24:25,677 It's going to be hard for me. 431 00:24:26,678 --> 00:24:29,056 Yeah, yeah, I know. 432 00:24:31,225 --> 00:24:35,521 You just have to remember she's a different person when she drinks. 433 00:24:35,605 --> 00:24:37,481 She must be. 434 00:24:37,607 --> 00:24:41,819 It's hard for me to imagine the Bree I know capable of hurting you. 435 00:24:41,903 --> 00:24:43,237 Yeah. 436 00:24:44,572 --> 00:24:45,823 Do you have the keys? 437 00:24:45,907 --> 00:24:50,286 Oh. Sure. Anyway, I just... 438 00:24:50,411 --> 00:24:53,915 ...I feel so guilty that this all went on in your house, 439 00:24:53,998 --> 00:24:55,708 right under our nose. 440 00:24:55,833 --> 00:24:58,753 So if there's anything I can do to help you... 441 00:24:59,212 --> 00:25:02,215 Well, can you get a discount on these? 442 00:25:04,425 --> 00:25:05,760 Um... 443 00:25:06,719 --> 00:25:07,970 Actually, yeah. 444 00:25:08,054 --> 00:25:09,680 One of the perks. 445 00:25:09,805 --> 00:25:12,892 Even so, it's out of the price range of a high school student. 446 00:25:13,559 --> 00:25:17,313 If you tell my lawyer the truth, I don't think money's gonna be a problem. 447 00:25:19,315 --> 00:25:20,942 [Andrew sighs] 448 00:25:24,111 --> 00:25:25,738 Hi. What's going on? 449 00:25:30,618 --> 00:25:34,288 Edie wants to discuss our little deception. 450 00:25:35,414 --> 00:25:37,959 Exactly how ugly is this gonna get? 451 00:25:38,042 --> 00:25:40,336 [Edie] How long does it take to shut a door? 452 00:25:42,339 --> 00:25:44,299 I can forgive your trickery. 453 00:25:45,258 --> 00:25:47,552 I can forgive the humiliation. 454 00:25:47,678 --> 00:25:51,807 But what I can't forgive is the complete and utter lack of faith in me! 455 00:25:52,599 --> 00:25:55,852 I mean, having Susan get married for insurance was my idea! 456 00:25:55,978 --> 00:25:58,981 If I had known that everything had gotten all screwed up, 457 00:25:59,064 --> 00:26:00,607 of course I would've agreed. 458 00:26:00,691 --> 00:26:03,777 Look, Edie. In retrospect, yes, 459 00:26:03,860 --> 00:26:05,487 we didn't think. 460 00:26:05,612 --> 00:26:09,282 We didn't handle this the way mature adults should have. 461 00:26:09,408 --> 00:26:12,285 He's right. We behaved like children. 462 00:26:12,369 --> 00:26:14,913 Naughty, stupid children. 463 00:26:14,996 --> 00:26:19,000 Well, that makes me feel better, that you could admit that. 464 00:26:19,084 --> 00:26:20,335 [sighs] 465 00:26:20,419 --> 00:26:23,839 Because when naughty children misbehave, 466 00:26:23,964 --> 00:26:26,967 they know that they're gonna get punished. Don't they? 467 00:26:29,928 --> 00:26:32,222 - Punished? - Mmm. 468 00:26:32,347 --> 00:26:36,393 At this point, I'd like to point out that, uh, it was Karl who proposed. 469 00:26:36,476 --> 00:26:38,103 Karl... 470 00:26:38,186 --> 00:26:41,857 ...you are gonna throw me an elaborate wedding. 471 00:26:42,983 --> 00:26:46,403 Yes, of course. Anything, baby. 472 00:26:47,612 --> 00:26:49,156 How elaborate? 473 00:26:50,157 --> 00:26:53,577 Well, figure out exactly what it is that you could afford, 474 00:26:53,702 --> 00:26:55,203 and triple it. 475 00:26:56,830 --> 00:26:57,832 As for you... 476 00:26:57,957 --> 00:27:00,418 OK, now, remember, I'm broke. 477 00:27:00,501 --> 00:27:03,754 I'm well aware of your church mouse status. 478 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:08,759 I don't intend to lift a finger during the planning and execution 479 00:27:08,843 --> 00:27:12,847 of this crushingly expensive wedding. 480 00:27:12,930 --> 00:27:14,891 No, no, of course not. 481 00:27:14,974 --> 00:27:17,727 And anything I can do to help, uh... 482 00:27:17,810 --> 00:27:21,063 You know, I could help with the engagement party. How's that? 483 00:27:21,189 --> 00:27:23,399 Well, I wasn't planning on inviting you. 484 00:27:24,901 --> 00:27:28,321 But... I will need a bartender. 485 00:27:29,071 --> 00:27:30,239 Oh, oh. 486 00:27:30,364 --> 00:27:34,368 And, um, make sure you come in through the back door. 487 00:27:44,587 --> 00:27:45,755 You're just in time. 488 00:27:46,631 --> 00:27:48,424 Mrs Scavo has been sworn in, 489 00:27:48,508 --> 00:27:52,094 - so we're all ready to start. - Hey. 490 00:27:53,262 --> 00:27:54,680 Hi. 491 00:28:01,062 --> 00:28:03,272 All right, we are now on the record. 492 00:28:03,356 --> 00:28:05,566 OK. 493 00:28:05,691 --> 00:28:08,694 Isn't it true that while your children were in Bree's care 494 00:28:08,778 --> 00:28:10,238 that she passed out, drunk, 495 00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:14,493 and allowed them to wander off to a downtown business district? 496 00:28:18,747 --> 00:28:23,210 My kids don't wander, they scurry, like rats. 497 00:28:23,877 --> 00:28:24,878 Excuse me? 498 00:28:25,003 --> 00:28:28,090 Do you know a rat can fit through a hole the size of a quarter? 499 00:28:28,173 --> 00:28:31,093 Anyway, my children have that trick down too. 500 00:28:31,176 --> 00:28:34,930 Mrs Scavo, are you saying that you don't hold Ms. Van De Kamp responsible 501 00:28:35,055 --> 00:28:36,848 for endangering your children? 502 00:28:36,932 --> 00:28:39,142 No, I don't hold her responsible. 503 00:28:39,977 --> 00:28:43,397 Bree Van de Kamp and I have known each other a long time. 504 00:28:43,522 --> 00:28:45,107 I trust her completely. 505 00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:47,859 She's a wonderful friend and a fantastic mother. 506 00:28:47,943 --> 00:28:50,696 - She puts the rest of us to shame. - She's lying! 507 00:28:50,779 --> 00:28:53,407 - You gonna let her get away with this? - Please. 508 00:28:55,909 --> 00:28:58,996 Do you consider Mrs Van De Kamp to have a drinking problem? 509 00:28:59,997 --> 00:29:00,998 No. 510 00:29:02,082 --> 00:29:06,211 Then why did you line empty wine bottles up on her front stoop? 511 00:29:07,337 --> 00:29:09,798 I was helping Bree with her recycling. 512 00:29:11,049 --> 00:29:14,720 Do I need to remind you of the potential consequences of perjury? 513 00:29:14,803 --> 00:29:19,057 No, you don't. In fact, I hate liars. 514 00:29:34,657 --> 00:29:36,617 [cell phone ringing] 515 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:39,996 Hello? 516 00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:43,166 Peter? Hi, it's Bree. 517 00:29:43,958 --> 00:29:45,668 Hey, Bree, you know, uh, 518 00:29:45,752 --> 00:29:49,172 if you feel like you're gonna need a drink, you should call Donna. 519 00:29:49,255 --> 00:29:52,341 No, no, I don't feel like I'm gonna drink, 520 00:29:52,425 --> 00:29:54,552 and if I did I certainly would call Donna, 521 00:29:54,677 --> 00:29:57,221 She and I are just... we're just really clicking. 522 00:29:57,346 --> 00:29:58,806 Oh, that's good. 523 00:29:58,890 --> 00:30:00,933 So why are you calling? 524 00:30:01,058 --> 00:30:03,770 It's late notice, but a friend of mine got engaged. 525 00:30:03,853 --> 00:30:06,856 She's throwing a party, and I thought you'd like to come. 526 00:30:06,939 --> 00:30:10,026 - Bree... - Well, you're not my sponsor anymore, 527 00:30:10,151 --> 00:30:12,111 so I assume this is allowable. 528 00:30:12,195 --> 00:30:15,782 I mean, it's just a casual get-together. And they're having sushi. 529 00:30:15,865 --> 00:30:18,618 - You do like sushi, don't you? - Bree... 530 00:30:23,873 --> 00:30:25,500 OK, Peter, 531 00:30:25,625 --> 00:30:29,378 I just really... need us to be friends. 532 00:30:29,504 --> 00:30:32,840 When I'm with you, I'm not myself, which is a good thing. 533 00:30:32,924 --> 00:30:35,927 I can... I can relax when I'm with you 534 00:30:36,010 --> 00:30:40,306 in a way that I can't when I'm with other people. [sighs] 535 00:30:40,389 --> 00:30:43,727 With them, I have to pretend that I have it all together, but... 536 00:30:45,812 --> 00:30:48,982 ...you know that I don't, so it's just so much easier. 537 00:30:49,107 --> 00:30:53,403 Come on, it's just a... just a dumb old party. 538 00:30:53,487 --> 00:30:57,157 Bree, do not call me again. 539 00:30:59,493 --> 00:31:01,119 [Peter hangs up call] 540 00:31:03,288 --> 00:31:05,165 [people talking, laughing] 541 00:31:05,290 --> 00:31:07,251 Paul! I'm so glad you made it. 542 00:31:07,376 --> 00:31:10,629 I appreciate the invitation. I'm a little surprised to get it, 543 00:31:10,754 --> 00:31:13,924 considering how people in this neighbourhood feel about me. 544 00:31:14,049 --> 00:31:17,803 [scoffs] You know me. I like to be inclusive. 545 00:31:17,928 --> 00:31:20,472 Ooh! It's heavy. [chuckles] 546 00:31:21,723 --> 00:31:24,017 Uh, uh-uh. This is flat. 547 00:31:24,142 --> 00:31:27,562 I think I'd like, um, a Rusty Nail. 548 00:31:27,688 --> 00:31:29,273 A what, now? 549 00:31:29,356 --> 00:31:30,440 It's a cocktail. 550 00:31:30,565 --> 00:31:32,276 I'm not really sure what's in it. 551 00:31:32,359 --> 00:31:36,905 But it sounds obscure and complicated. So chop-chop. 552 00:31:36,989 --> 00:31:38,949 [Carlos] OK, we'll be right there. 553 00:31:39,032 --> 00:31:41,159 Hey, hey, put that down! We've gotta go! 554 00:31:41,243 --> 00:31:43,954 - Our birth mother went into labour! - What? 555 00:31:44,037 --> 00:31:46,498 - That's fantastic! - We're gonna be parents! 556 00:31:47,165 --> 00:31:49,376 I'll go get the car. Come on. 557 00:31:49,501 --> 00:31:51,461 We were supposed to have four weeks. 558 00:31:51,586 --> 00:31:54,506 She promised the baby wasn't due for four more weeks. 559 00:31:54,589 --> 00:31:57,050 We don't have anything, we don't have diapers, 560 00:31:57,175 --> 00:31:59,304 and we don't have the stuff babies drink. 561 00:31:59,429 --> 00:32:00,596 Formula? 562 00:32:00,722 --> 00:32:02,598 Exactly! We're not ready! 563 00:32:02,724 --> 00:32:04,934 You know, this is a total inconvenience. 564 00:32:05,018 --> 00:32:07,395 Welcome to parenthood. Come on. 565 00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:10,857 This is your father's bartender bible. 566 00:32:10,940 --> 00:32:13,693 See if you can find the recipe for a Rusty Nail. 567 00:32:18,906 --> 00:32:20,074 Um, Mom? 568 00:32:22,869 --> 00:32:24,037 Where'd you find that? 569 00:32:24,162 --> 00:32:27,749 It was stuck in here between a Pink Squirrel and a Pisco Sour. 570 00:32:31,794 --> 00:32:35,214 Well, why is your father keeping this? 571 00:32:36,132 --> 00:32:37,842 Why do you think? 572 00:32:45,683 --> 00:32:47,018 Hey, Susie. 573 00:32:47,101 --> 00:32:51,481 Karl, this marriage, our marriage, this fake marriage. That's what it is, right? 574 00:32:51,564 --> 00:32:52,648 Fake. 575 00:32:52,774 --> 00:32:54,275 What are you talking about? 576 00:32:54,358 --> 00:32:56,069 What's this? 577 00:32:57,153 --> 00:32:59,113 - Nothing. - Yeah? 578 00:33:01,699 --> 00:33:06,746 OK, then. Repeat after me: "Our marriage is fake, 579 00:33:06,829 --> 00:33:10,750 and I'm going to marry the woman I really love: Edie Britt." 580 00:33:11,459 --> 00:33:13,754 - If that's what you want me to say. - No no no! 581 00:33:13,837 --> 00:33:15,714 It's not about what I want you to say. 582 00:33:15,839 --> 00:33:19,885 You have to want to say that you want to marry Edie. 583 00:33:21,303 --> 00:33:23,263 Don't worry about this, Susie. 584 00:33:23,347 --> 00:33:25,474 Why are you hanging on to that? 585 00:33:25,599 --> 00:33:27,810 I need to look at it from time to time. 586 00:33:27,935 --> 00:33:29,019 Why? 587 00:33:29,895 --> 00:33:31,855 [sighs] 588 00:33:33,232 --> 00:33:36,068 Consider it my punishment. 589 00:33:36,151 --> 00:33:40,280 For screwing up the best thing that ever happened to me. 590 00:33:42,574 --> 00:33:44,034 Ohh. 591 00:33:44,117 --> 00:33:47,037 Oh, no, no, no, this is not happening. 592 00:33:49,581 --> 00:33:51,542 Oh! Karl! 593 00:33:51,667 --> 00:33:53,627 Will you? Are you crazy? 594 00:33:53,710 --> 00:33:56,380 Tell me what to do. You want me to marry Edie, I will. 595 00:33:56,463 --> 00:33:58,840 You want me to call off the wedding, I'll do it. 596 00:33:58,966 --> 00:34:00,509 I'll do whatever you want. 597 00:34:01,343 --> 00:34:03,554 - [Edie] Karl! - Whoa! 598 00:34:06,557 --> 00:34:07,891 What are you doing? 599 00:34:07,975 --> 00:34:09,935 I'm just... putting away some coats. 600 00:34:11,395 --> 00:34:12,896 Oh. 601 00:34:12,980 --> 00:34:16,149 Well, it's time to open my presents. Let's go. 602 00:34:33,459 --> 00:34:35,253 - Oh, hello. - Hi. 603 00:34:35,336 --> 00:34:38,673 Hi. I need some advice from a professional. 604 00:34:38,798 --> 00:34:40,508 I'd like to get stinking drunk. 605 00:34:40,633 --> 00:34:44,053 Do you have anything that can accomplish that in a hurry? 606 00:34:48,558 --> 00:34:50,935 [gasps] I forgot the Lamaze book in my purse! 607 00:34:51,060 --> 00:34:53,354 Forget it. Come on, let's go. We'll wing it. 608 00:34:56,357 --> 00:34:58,318 Oh, we missed it? 609 00:34:59,027 --> 00:35:00,737 The kid just slipped right out. 610 00:35:01,279 --> 00:35:02,363 Are you family? 611 00:35:07,618 --> 00:35:08,953 They're the parents. 612 00:35:16,919 --> 00:35:19,213 Would you like to help? 613 00:35:19,297 --> 00:35:23,051 No, thanks. You guys look like you got it covered. 614 00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:25,678 Are you sure, honey? 615 00:35:26,846 --> 00:35:28,264 Come on, Gabby. 616 00:35:28,347 --> 00:35:30,141 I just, um... 617 00:35:30,266 --> 00:35:32,393 I don't want to do anything to screw it up. 618 00:35:32,518 --> 00:35:33,686 She won't break. 619 00:35:34,771 --> 00:35:36,022 Here. 620 00:35:36,898 --> 00:35:38,399 OK. 621 00:35:41,694 --> 00:35:44,573 Hi. Hi. 622 00:35:50,245 --> 00:35:52,206 Honey, you were right. 623 00:35:53,540 --> 00:35:55,167 About what? 624 00:35:59,254 --> 00:36:01,381 It was all worth it. 625 00:36:01,507 --> 00:36:04,301 [baby cooing] 626 00:36:11,266 --> 00:36:14,353 Serving bowls. Just what I needed, Lynette. 627 00:36:14,436 --> 00:36:17,272 There's a gift receipt taped to the bottom of the box. 628 00:36:18,107 --> 00:36:19,900 Thank God! 629 00:36:20,651 --> 00:36:23,320 OK, the next one is from Felicia. 630 00:36:24,196 --> 00:36:25,572 I do hope you like it. 631 00:36:25,656 --> 00:36:27,866 Oh, you know what they say. 632 00:36:28,700 --> 00:36:31,453 Good things come in small packages. 633 00:36:32,371 --> 00:36:34,164 [chuckling] 634 00:36:36,583 --> 00:36:37,751 What is it? 635 00:36:41,213 --> 00:36:42,297 Teeth? 636 00:36:42,381 --> 00:36:43,465 Dentures. 637 00:36:45,467 --> 00:36:47,261 They were my dear sister Martha's. 638 00:36:48,011 --> 00:36:49,596 I'm sure none of you knew, 639 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,100 but she had orthodontic issues from the time she was a child. 640 00:36:54,434 --> 00:36:56,395 Oh. [chuckles] 641 00:36:57,730 --> 00:36:58,982 Thank you. 642 00:36:59,524 --> 00:37:02,694 I know it's an unconventional gift for an engagement party, 643 00:37:02,777 --> 00:37:05,321 but you and Martha were such close friends, Edie, 644 00:37:05,446 --> 00:37:08,867 I wanted you to have something truly personal to remember her by. 645 00:37:08,992 --> 00:37:11,828 Since she left us so... abruptly. 646 00:37:11,911 --> 00:37:15,582 You know, when Paul Young strangled her, 647 00:37:15,707 --> 00:37:20,086 crushed her windpipe, and buried her alive next to a hiking trail... 648 00:37:20,211 --> 00:37:23,089 Felicia, I think you've had enough. 649 00:37:24,966 --> 00:37:27,719 I do apologise if I've offended anyone. 650 00:37:27,802 --> 00:37:33,474 But while you all are chitchatting and eating these gummy hors d'oeuvres, 651 00:37:33,558 --> 00:37:35,059 just remember, 652 00:37:35,143 --> 00:37:37,687 you're in the company of a murderer. 653 00:38:01,127 --> 00:38:04,130 [rock music playing] 654 00:38:12,931 --> 00:38:15,142 Bree. Bree? 655 00:38:19,772 --> 00:38:21,231 [moans] 656 00:38:21,315 --> 00:38:23,359 Why didn't you call Donna? 657 00:38:26,695 --> 00:38:28,322 I don't need Donna. 658 00:38:29,448 --> 00:38:30,908 I need you. 659 00:38:48,425 --> 00:38:51,595 You know, I don't even like redheads. 660 00:38:55,140 --> 00:38:56,642 OK, it's my turn. 661 00:38:56,725 --> 00:38:58,310 Shh. In a minute. 662 00:38:59,311 --> 00:39:01,355 Come on, you're hogging her. 663 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,107 [Frank] Tell me! 664 00:39:03,232 --> 00:39:04,858 You tell me who it is, Libby! 665 00:39:04,942 --> 00:39:06,652 [Libby] Are you drunk? 666 00:39:06,777 --> 00:39:08,904 Who is he, Libby? 667 00:39:08,987 --> 00:39:11,031 I got to know! 668 00:39:11,115 --> 00:39:14,785 I already told you, he's some rodeo guy. I don't even remember his name. 669 00:39:14,910 --> 00:39:15,994 Liar! 670 00:39:16,745 --> 00:39:18,122 What are you doing? 671 00:39:18,205 --> 00:39:21,625 I'm gonna light myself on fire. 672 00:39:21,708 --> 00:39:24,670 He's gonna light himself on fire with coffee liquor? 673 00:39:24,753 --> 00:39:26,713 Would not have been my choice. 674 00:39:26,839 --> 00:39:29,759 Tell me his name or I'm gonna do it! 675 00:39:29,843 --> 00:39:32,470 - Frank, don't be an idiot! - Aah! Aah! 676 00:39:32,554 --> 00:39:35,348 It was Dale, OK? It was Dale! 677 00:39:35,431 --> 00:39:38,935 - [woman] Security to Maternity. - My brother Dale? 678 00:39:39,561 --> 00:39:42,021 - He's a kid! - He's 19, Frank. 679 00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:43,857 He knows which end is up. 680 00:39:43,940 --> 00:39:45,984 What is she saying? 681 00:39:48,278 --> 00:39:50,822 - There's a father. - [man] Hey, hey! 682 00:39:50,905 --> 00:39:53,283 Take it easy, man! 683 00:39:53,366 --> 00:39:56,619 No. I am not giving up the baby. 684 00:39:59,414 --> 00:40:01,040 No! No! 685 00:40:01,165 --> 00:40:03,126 [woman] Security to O.B. 686 00:40:03,209 --> 00:40:05,753 - What are you doing? - I'm taking our baby home. 687 00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:08,506 She's not ours! The papers aren't valid anymore! 688 00:40:09,090 --> 00:40:10,258 She has a father! 689 00:40:10,383 --> 00:40:14,220 Do you want to leave this beautiful girl with that white trash freak show? 690 00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:15,972 Huh? 691 00:40:16,055 --> 00:40:17,765 Well, come on, then! 692 00:40:17,849 --> 00:40:20,226 [sirens approaching] 693 00:40:24,772 --> 00:40:27,400 - Where? - Maternity! Maternity! 694 00:40:27,483 --> 00:40:28,985 All right. 695 00:40:33,698 --> 00:40:34,699 Carlos, hurry up! 696 00:40:34,824 --> 00:40:36,701 I'm hurrying! 697 00:40:39,037 --> 00:40:41,247 Man, there's a lot of straps on this thing! 698 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:44,710 - How does this thing go in? - Read the instructions! 699 00:40:44,835 --> 00:40:49,214 "Pass strap A through strap B. Make sure the harness clip is at chest level." 700 00:40:49,298 --> 00:40:50,799 Which is the harness clip? 701 00:40:50,883 --> 00:40:54,386 That is after the baby is in! You have to connect it to the car first! 702 00:40:54,511 --> 00:40:56,138 We should have got an SUV! 703 00:40:56,263 --> 00:40:58,057 This is very complicated! 704 00:40:58,140 --> 00:41:00,100 Oh, for God sakes, just take the baby! 705 00:41:05,856 --> 00:41:07,316 Wow. 706 00:41:07,399 --> 00:41:09,777 Here, we're good to go. Give me the baby. 707 00:41:14,281 --> 00:41:18,035 You know this isn't gonna end well. They're gonna try and take her back. 708 00:41:18,994 --> 00:41:20,454 Maybe. 709 00:41:20,537 --> 00:41:23,165 But we don't have to make it easy for them. 710 00:41:23,248 --> 00:41:25,209 - Gabby, I... - Just buckle up! 711 00:41:35,969 --> 00:41:39,139 [Mary Alice] Temptation comes to all of us. 712 00:41:39,223 --> 00:41:42,226 Whether or not we succumb, depends on our ability 713 00:41:42,351 --> 00:41:45,020 to recognise its disguise. 714 00:41:45,896 --> 00:41:50,192 Sometimes it arrives in the form of an old flame 715 00:41:50,317 --> 00:41:52,778 flickering back to life. 716 00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:56,824 Or a new friend 717 00:41:56,907 --> 00:42:00,578 who could end up being so much more. 718 00:42:04,249 --> 00:42:08,169 Or a young child who awakens feelings 719 00:42:08,253 --> 00:42:10,964 we didn't know we had. 720 00:42:12,715 --> 00:42:16,386 And so we give in to temptation, 721 00:42:16,511 --> 00:42:18,805 all the while knowing, 722 00:42:18,888 --> 00:42:20,849 come morning, 723 00:42:20,932 --> 00:42:25,395 we'll have to suffer the consequences.