1 00:00:00,264 --> 00:00:02,164 previously on "Desperate Housewives" 2 00:00:02,164 --> 00:00:03,487 I think you're a lousy mother. 3 00:00:03,487 --> 00:00:04,898 Gaby was insulted. 4 00:00:04,898 --> 00:00:05,910 Did you just say that to my face? 5 00:00:05,989 --> 00:00:06,869 I closed the door to ask 6 00:00:06,987 --> 00:00:09,170 If you would like to be my new senior V.P. 7 00:00:09,170 --> 00:00:12,245 Lynette choose not to mention her pregnancy 8 00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,156 You get to stay in school. 9 00:00:14,156 --> 00:00:16,369 Susan tried to protect julie. 10 00:00:16,621 --> 00:00:17,585 You shot me! 11 00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:19,349 That gun is under our real name. 12 00:00:19,349 --> 00:00:20,641 - I wanna call the police. - Uh, just... 13 00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:23,197 And Angie had to protect her secret. 14 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,805 - High road all the way. - That's a good point. 15 00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:35,139 Bree Hodge had a problem. 16 00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:39,421 She did not want to fall in love with Karl Mayer. 17 00:00:40,925 --> 00:00:43,872 She was appalled by his table manners... 18 00:00:45,768 --> 00:00:46,844 What? 19 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,618 His personal ethics... 20 00:00:51,227 --> 00:00:52,283 What? 21 00:00:53,050 --> 00:00:55,214 And his wandering eye. 22 00:00:57,413 --> 00:00:58,287 What? 23 00:00:58,711 --> 00:01:02,752 No, Bree did not want to fall for Karl Mayer, 24 00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:05,047 And yet she knew in her heart 25 00:01:05,047 --> 00:01:07,124 That she was starting to. 26 00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:10,429 And that's why she also knew 27 00:01:10,429 --> 00:01:11,631 The time had come... 28 00:01:11,631 --> 00:01:12,967 We have to talk. 29 00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:15,097 to leave. 30 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,150 Hey, what's with the face? you dumping me? 31 00:01:20,204 --> 00:01:21,470 Karl... 32 00:01:21,859 --> 00:01:24,927 Oh, my god. You are dumping me. 33 00:01:24,927 --> 00:01:26,530 We've both known this couldn't last forever, 34 00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:29,659 So let's end it now before someone gets hurt. 35 00:01:30,789 --> 00:01:32,149 But it's going so well. 36 00:01:32,149 --> 00:01:35,061 - I feel we're getting closer. - We are. 37 00:01:35,414 --> 00:01:36,993 That's the problem. 38 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,091 When I agreed to be your lover, 39 00:01:40,091 --> 00:01:43,355 I felt quite sure that my disdain for your vulgarity 40 00:01:43,355 --> 00:01:45,490 And astounding lack of scruples would preclude 41 00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:47,536 Any chance of my developing feelings for you. 42 00:01:47,536 --> 00:01:51,840 But against all reason, It's happening. 43 00:01:52,832 --> 00:01:53,955 I don't want to fall in love with a man 44 00:01:53,955 --> 00:01:56,088 I'm not even sure I like. 45 00:01:56,969 --> 00:01:59,620 I'm glad we're being careful about no one getting hurt. 46 00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:04,033 Please, let's not make this any harder than it has to be. 47 00:02:06,358 --> 00:02:09,653 Okay. You say we're done, we're done. 48 00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:11,800 I was gonna wait to give you this later, 49 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,301 Maybe over dinner or something. 50 00:02:14,816 --> 00:02:17,236 I guess now it's sort of a parting gift. 51 00:02:17,796 --> 00:02:20,172 - I couldn't. - Open it. 52 00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:27,812 It's beautiful! 53 00:02:28,754 --> 00:02:30,648 Oh, and it's inscribed. 54 00:02:30,648 --> 00:02:35,404 "To my dear and beloved... Irene"? 55 00:02:35,404 --> 00:02:36,793 Irene was my grandmother. 56 00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:38,143 My grandpa gave it to her on their 57 00:02:38,143 --> 00:02:39,492 First wedding anniversary. 58 00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:43,666 Well, she had no granddaughters,so she willed it to me. 59 00:02:43,698 --> 00:02:45,967 She said, "someday you'll find 60 00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:49,090 The perfect woman to give this to," and she was right. 61 00:02:50,528 --> 00:02:52,153 I know how you feel. 62 00:02:52,153 --> 00:02:55,054 I'm--I didn't plan on falling for you, either. 63 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:56,863 And I don't blame you 64 00:02:56,863 --> 00:02:58,786 For wanting to run the other way. 65 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,635 And for what it's worth... 66 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,141 I love you. 67 00:03:07,842 --> 00:03:09,382 And in that moment, 68 00:03:09,382 --> 00:03:12,629 Bree knew that the time to leave her lover had come... 69 00:03:14,537 --> 00:03:16,124 And gone. 70 00:03:29,724 --> 00:03:31,006 Ann peterson 71 00:03:31,006 --> 00:03:34,649 Was the principal of fairview elementary school, 72 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:37,257 And she believed in rules. 73 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:40,281 She used them to teach hygiene, 74 00:03:42,247 --> 00:03:44,644 To control behavior 75 00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:48,447 And to instill order. 76 00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:54,164 Yes, Mrs. Peterson believed in rules. 77 00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:56,498 She also believed 78 00:03:57,189 --> 00:04:01,764 That those who didn't follow them should be punished. 79 00:04:08,592 --> 00:04:11,155 Okay, the camera is rolling. 80 00:04:11,156 --> 00:04:12,324 Are there any words you'd like to say 81 00:04:12,324 --> 00:04:15,286 Before your daughter makes her stage debut? 82 00:04:15,287 --> 00:04:16,653 Let us pray. 83 00:04:16,653 --> 00:04:18,626 Gaby, Juanita is going to see this. 84 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,001 Oh, trust me this is not the footage you wanna keep. 85 00:04:21,641 --> 00:04:24,551 Well, I'm sorry. I tried to work with her. 86 00:04:24,551 --> 00:04:27,262 But you may as well know your daughter is talent-free. 87 00:04:27,262 --> 00:04:29,947 She is only 7. How bad could she be? 88 00:04:29,947 --> 00:04:31,395 Well, I've already looked through the program 89 00:04:31,395 --> 00:04:33,585 To pick out a kid we can pretend is ours. 90 00:04:33,585 --> 00:04:36,892 I like Paige Glover. I'm gonna be her mommy. 91 00:04:44,724 --> 00:04:46,737 My name is Miles Standish. 92 00:04:46,737 --> 00:04:49,697 We have come to share with you our bounty. 93 00:04:51,356 --> 00:04:55,285 And to give thanks for this new lands, 94 00:04:55,286 --> 00:04:58,695 Where we are free from religious perskacootion. 95 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,609 - Which one is Paige Glover? - shh, shh. 96 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:09,179 Religious perspacotion. 97 00:05:11,495 --> 00:05:15,901 - Where we are free from religious... - Persecution! 98 00:05:15,902 --> 00:05:17,999 Read the corn! I wrote it on the corn! 99 00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:23,461 Per--perska... prossa... Aw-- 100 00:05:23,462 --> 00:05:24,423 At that moment, 101 00:05:24,423 --> 00:05:29,224 Juanita Solis chose to utter a certain 4-letter word... 102 00:05:31,025 --> 00:05:33,439 For the very first time. 103 00:05:33,987 --> 00:05:36,349 I did not write that on the corn. 104 00:05:40,502 --> 00:05:41,290 Just promise me 105 00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:43,732 You won't have a few drinks and get all kissy with me 106 00:05:43,732 --> 00:05:45,525 Like you did last week at the Bermans'. 107 00:05:45,525 --> 00:05:47,344 You told me you don't want our friends to know 108 00:05:47,344 --> 00:05:48,646 We're having marital problems. 109 00:05:48,646 --> 00:05:50,543 Well, you don't have to maul me to prove we're okay. 110 00:05:50,543 --> 00:05:53,444 - I don't like public displays of affection. - I know. 111 00:05:53,444 --> 00:05:55,986 But these days, they're the only kind I can get from you. 112 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,216 Sorry we're late, Mike. 113 00:06:00,216 --> 00:06:01,784 oh, that's okay, come on in. 114 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,651 Oh, my god. I can't believe it. 115 00:06:04,651 --> 00:06:07,473 It's just a pie, Susan. I've brought them before. 116 00:06:07,473 --> 00:06:08,807 No, the brooch that you're wearing. 117 00:06:08,807 --> 00:06:10,747 It's... it's mine. 118 00:06:10,747 --> 00:06:12,590 Excuse me? 119 00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,434 Karl gave it to me years ago. Can I see it? 120 00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:16,491 Well, I don't doubt that it's similar, Susan, 121 00:06:16,491 --> 00:06:18,897 But it can't possibly be the same one. 122 00:06:18,897 --> 00:06:21,945 No, yes! There's the inscription. 123 00:06:21,945 --> 00:06:25,054 To his granny Irene! Mike! 124 00:06:27,729 --> 00:06:30,659 This is the same brooch I lost ten years ago. 125 00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:33,190 You say you lost it? 126 00:06:33,191 --> 00:06:35,588 Yeah. It was back when Karl and I got divorced. 127 00:06:35,589 --> 00:06:38,944 One day it was on my coat, and the next... gone. 128 00:06:38,944 --> 00:06:40,608 I never knew where it went. 129 00:06:42,056 --> 00:06:44,301 - Hi, everybody. - Well, now we know. 130 00:06:44,301 --> 00:06:46,370 Great to see you. See you, sweetheart. 131 00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:48,564 Hey, Karl, get in here. Wait. 132 00:06:48,564 --> 00:06:50,512 You are not gonna believe this. 133 00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:53,577 Bree found your grandmother's brooch. 134 00:06:54,525 --> 00:06:58,565 - What? - Yes, the one that Susan lost. 135 00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:01,800 What an extraordinary coincidence. 136 00:07:01,801 --> 00:07:03,379 Where did you get it, Bree? 137 00:07:05,052 --> 00:07:06,871 She bought it. I'm assuming. 138 00:07:06,872 --> 00:07:09,681 Uh, yes, at that little antique store 139 00:07:09,682 --> 00:07:11,917 - Down on Pearl Street. - Yeah, so obviously, 140 00:07:11,917 --> 00:07:13,984 Whoever found it must've sold it to that store. 141 00:07:13,984 --> 00:07:16,268 Remember how mad you got when I lost it? 142 00:07:16,268 --> 00:07:19,109 - He really yelled at me. - You yelled at her? 143 00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:22,349 - I don't recall yelling. - You kinda did. 144 00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:24,980 "How could you lose my grandmother's brooch?! 145 00:07:24,981 --> 00:07:28,082 - It was a family heirloom!"- Unbelievable. 146 00:07:28,082 --> 00:07:30,908 Yeah, that it would turn up again after all this time. 147 00:07:34,435 --> 00:07:37,991 Well, I'm glad I can give it back to its rightful owner. 148 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,935 Oh, it's yours. You bought it. 149 00:07:39,936 --> 00:07:41,933 Oh, I couldn't possibly wear it 150 00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:43,965 Knowing that Karl gave it to you. 151 00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:47,099 Well, how much did it cost? I'll reimburse you. 152 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:52,058 No need, dear. Trust me, it was a steal. 153 00:07:56,321 --> 00:07:57,541 Whoa! We gotta get him inside. 154 00:07:57,541 --> 00:08:00,368 - Shh. Shh. Just hold on. Just... - Okay. Easy does it. 155 00:08:00,368 --> 00:08:03,047 How can we get some pancakes? 156 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,433 - What? Oh, gee. - Watch it. Watch it. 157 00:08:04,433 --> 00:08:07,178 - I'm good, I'm good. - Shh. 158 00:08:07,178 --> 00:08:08,834 Porter, for god sakes! 159 00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:11,272 People are trying to sleep! 160 00:08:13,341 --> 00:08:15,675 - Tom? - Hey, honey. 161 00:08:15,675 --> 00:08:16,662 What are you doing here? 162 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,204 I thought you were gonna be at the library studying. 163 00:08:19,204 --> 00:08:20,840 W-w-we were, and after we were done, 164 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,064 I told the guys I'd treat 'em to pancakes. 165 00:08:23,064 --> 00:08:24,544 But the... the place was closed. 166 00:08:24,544 --> 00:08:26,391 Ah, so we peed on the building. 167 00:08:28,006 --> 00:08:30,105 Give it five, T-scav! Yo! 168 00:08:31,301 --> 00:08:32,957 You're drunk. 169 00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:35,261 Uh, I beg your pardon. 170 00:08:35,261 --> 00:08:37,674 He's drunk. I'm faced. 171 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,187 Do you have a sink? 172 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,285 What did this library have, a 3-drink minimum? 173 00:08:50,285 --> 00:08:53,177 Well, after the library, we went to a bar, 174 00:08:53,177 --> 00:08:57,041 And they got into a cutthroat game of beer pong. 175 00:08:59,097 --> 00:09:01,224 Well, I'll just make 'em some pancakes 176 00:09:01,224 --> 00:09:04,091 - And take 'em home in the morning. - The morning?! 177 00:09:04,091 --> 00:09:07,136 Can I talk to you a second, t-scav, 178 00:09:07,136 --> 00:09:09,200 Away from these beer pong champs? 179 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,637 Actually, they lost and--and it was kind of controversial-- 180 00:09:11,637 --> 00:09:13,869 I don't care! they're not staying here tonight. 181 00:09:13,869 --> 00:09:14,926 Come on! look at niedermeyer. 182 00:09:14,926 --> 00:09:16,677 I can't take him home to his mom and dad. 183 00:09:16,677 --> 00:09:17,669 You know how parents are. 184 00:09:17,669 --> 00:09:20,392 Of course I do! we're parents! 185 00:09:24,113 --> 00:09:25,924 Look... 186 00:09:27,575 --> 00:09:29,097 I understand you want the kids to like you 187 00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:32,081 So they can elect you homecoming king or whatever, 188 00:09:32,081 --> 00:09:34,025 But you are not going back to school 189 00:09:34,025 --> 00:09:36,962 To have some second childhood. Enough is enough! 190 00:09:36,962 --> 00:09:38,448 Okay. okay, I hear ya. 191 00:09:39,765 --> 00:09:43,651 Hey, I hear you, too. Wanna keep it down? 192 00:09:53,936 --> 00:09:55,047 And as punishment, 193 00:09:55,047 --> 00:09:57,422 I'm having Juanita draft a letter of apology 194 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,850 To every classmate and family member who heard... 195 00:10:01,046 --> 00:10:02,624 The verb in question. 196 00:10:02,629 --> 00:10:03,839 That seems fair. 197 00:10:03,839 --> 00:10:06,229 And of course, she won't be allowed to participate 198 00:10:06,229 --> 00:10:09,327 In the final two performances of the thanksgiving pageant. 199 00:10:09,327 --> 00:10:10,147 Of course. 200 00:10:10,147 --> 00:10:13,356 And she is also on cafeteria cleaning detail 201 00:10:13,356 --> 00:10:16,505 - For the next two weeks. -Absolutely. 202 00:10:16,505 --> 00:10:18,322 Uh, not so fast. 203 00:10:18,322 --> 00:10:20,704 - I'm sorry? - Oh, come on, Mrs. Peterson. 204 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,619 A letter of apology? Fine. 205 00:10:22,619 --> 00:10:23,931 Taking her out of the play? 206 00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:26,386 Hey, she deserved that based on her performance alone. 207 00:10:26,386 --> 00:10:28,116 But let's not go overboard. 208 00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:32,102 Mrs. Solis, this school has a zero tolerance policy 209 00:10:32,102 --> 00:10:33,684 When it comes to profanity. 210 00:10:33,684 --> 00:10:37,263 And we respect that. Right, honey? 211 00:10:37,263 --> 00:10:39,009 Stay out of this, sweetheart. 212 00:10:39,009 --> 00:10:41,344 You need to take a second look at that policy. 213 00:10:41,344 --> 00:10:43,687 Juanita made a little slip. It wasn't intentional. 214 00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:46,038 It's not like she flipped the bird afterwards. 215 00:10:46,450 --> 00:10:47,957 My ruling stands. 216 00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:51,121 If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. 217 00:10:51,122 --> 00:10:53,685 What is this, Shawshank Elementary? 218 00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:55,617 This school is not at fault. 219 00:10:55,618 --> 00:10:57,324 If you want to assign blame, 220 00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:00,279 You might look to your dubious parenting skills. 221 00:11:02,911 --> 00:11:06,339 - Oh, I wish you hadn't said that. - Excuse me? 222 00:11:06,339 --> 00:11:09,106 Well, Juanita learned that word somewhere. 223 00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:10,937 And you're saying I taught it to her? 224 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:15,134 No, I'm sure it was whispered to her by the wind. 225 00:11:15,864 --> 00:11:18,565 Let me tell you something, Mrs. Peterson. 226 00:11:18,566 --> 00:11:19,902 I am pulling Juanita 227 00:11:19,903 --> 00:11:22,195 out of this crappy, crappy school! 228 00:11:22,196 --> 00:11:25,059 Come on, Carlos! Oh. 229 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,324 "Crappy," huh? 230 00:11:26,325 --> 00:11:28,297 What a shame Juanita won't be here 231 00:11:28,297 --> 00:11:30,854 To blurt that out during the pledge of allegiance. 232 00:11:30,855 --> 00:11:34,051 Oh, yeah? well, here's a blurt for ya-- 233 00:11:36,059 --> 00:11:38,105 ...And the horse you rode in on! 234 00:11:47,287 --> 00:11:48,952 Don't shoot! it's just me. 235 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,915 Relax, Susan. It was a joke. 236 00:11:52,916 --> 00:11:53,921 Is Mike here? 237 00:11:54,553 --> 00:11:58,079 - He is out on a job. - Oh, darn it. 238 00:11:58,079 --> 00:12:01,491 I wanted to talk to both of you so I could apologize. 239 00:12:03,145 --> 00:12:05,193 Over the past few weeks... 240 00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:09,001 I've let my emotions get the best of me. 241 00:12:09,002 --> 00:12:10,657 I'm sure you've noticed 242 00:12:10,657 --> 00:12:14,164 That my behavior has been... Crazy. 243 00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:16,493 Hmm, just in the... clinical sense. 244 00:12:16,493 --> 00:12:18,955 Well, that's over. 245 00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:21,921 I don't want there to be any more tension between us. 246 00:12:21,922 --> 00:12:24,586 When we see each other on the street, 247 00:12:24,587 --> 00:12:26,518 I want us to wave, 248 00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:28,582 Not dive behind a garbage can. 249 00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:32,053 Oh, I didn't dive. I... just dropped my keys. 250 00:12:33,163 --> 00:12:35,810 I just want things to be normal again. 251 00:12:35,811 --> 00:12:38,341 Let me play poker with you and the girls. 252 00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,739 If you throw a party, invite me. 253 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,850 Maybe you and Mike can have me 254 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:45,322 over for a barbecue sometime. 255 00:12:46,578 --> 00:12:48,766 Given what's happened, 256 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:52,196 I just don't see a barbecue in our future. 257 00:12:56,494 --> 00:12:58,858 Fine, Susan. 258 00:12:58,859 --> 00:13:00,999 I was just hoping to be friends again 259 00:13:00,999 --> 00:13:04,819 And show all those people how wrong they were. 260 00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,516 What people? 261 00:13:08,517 --> 00:13:10,504 The ones who keep telling me that 262 00:13:10,504 --> 00:13:12,113 I should sue you for, uh... 263 00:13:12,114 --> 00:13:14,977 What did they call it? "Reckless endangerment"? 264 00:13:14,978 --> 00:13:17,123 Yeah, I'm sorry. Who are all these people? 265 00:13:17,123 --> 00:13:18,941 Neighbors, well-wishers, 266 00:13:18,942 --> 00:13:21,954 A couple of lawyers who dabble in civil lawsuits. 267 00:13:21,954 --> 00:13:25,868 But I told them, "no, I could never sue Susan." 268 00:13:25,869 --> 00:13:28,799 In spite of everything, we're still friends. 269 00:13:29,914 --> 00:13:33,267 But... If that isn't true anymore... 270 00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:36,478 Brunch! Uh... 271 00:13:36,792 --> 00:13:39,124 Mike and I aren't really barbecue people. 272 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:41,735 We like a good brunch. 273 00:13:41,735 --> 00:13:43,753 So... let's give that a shot. 274 00:13:43,754 --> 00:13:47,351 Um, I'm sorry. That was just a bad choice of words. 275 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:52,451 I love it! Sunday around 11:00? 276 00:13:52,451 --> 00:13:55,705 - I'll bring a quiche. - Great. 277 00:13:59,041 --> 00:14:02,038 Aren't you glad I'm not crazy anymore? 278 00:14:02,039 --> 00:14:05,069 Oh, yeah. This is so much better. 279 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,888 We are over, Karl. 280 00:14:08,502 --> 00:14:09,779 And this time I mean it. 281 00:14:09,779 --> 00:14:11,894 Oh, come on, Bree. 282 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,763 You're gonna dump me over a lousy brooch? 283 00:14:13,763 --> 00:14:15,794 It's not the brooch, Karl. It's you. 284 00:14:15,795 --> 00:14:16,986 Stealing Susan's Jewelry 285 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,912 And then berating her for losing it? 286 00:14:18,912 --> 00:14:20,407 What kind of man does that? 287 00:14:20,407 --> 00:14:22,455 How about a man whose wife's taking him to the cleaners, 288 00:14:22,456 --> 00:14:23,122 Who wants to get back a little of 289 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:25,121 what she's costing him? 290 00:14:25,121 --> 00:14:27,337 But how could you be so stupid as to then give it to me? 291 00:14:27,337 --> 00:14:30,030 Did it not occur to you that she might see me wearing it? 292 00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:31,602 Hey, when Susie and I divorced, 293 00:14:31,602 --> 00:14:32,983 She lost a lot of things. 294 00:14:32,983 --> 00:14:34,945 I forgot the brooch was one of them. 295 00:14:34,946 --> 00:14:36,155 That's your defense 296 00:14:36,156 --> 00:14:38,575 That you stole so much, you lost track? 297 00:14:38,576 --> 00:14:41,006 Let's not forget who had no problem 298 00:14:41,007 --> 00:14:43,938 Staging a fake burglary to protect her stuff from Orson. 299 00:14:43,939 --> 00:14:45,243 Well, I am not proud of that. 300 00:14:45,243 --> 00:14:46,436 I am even less proud of letting 301 00:14:46,436 --> 00:14:48,314 my libido blind me to the fact 302 00:14:48,314 --> 00:14:49,234 That I have been fornicating 303 00:14:49,234 --> 00:14:51,329 with a morally bankrupt weasel. 304 00:14:52,831 --> 00:14:56,726 - Well, not anymore. We're done. - Wait. 305 00:14:56,727 --> 00:14:58,925 Bree... 306 00:14:58,926 --> 00:15:00,857 Will you marry me? 307 00:15:04,078 --> 00:15:06,342 Excuse me? 308 00:15:06,343 --> 00:15:08,252 I know, not the best time to ask. 309 00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:11,631 But I was scared if I waited, I wouldn't get another shot. 310 00:15:11,631 --> 00:15:13,254 Do you think for one instant I would even-- 311 00:15:13,254 --> 00:15:14,868 Don't feel you need to answer right away. 312 00:15:14,868 --> 00:15:15,462 I'm pretty sure 313 00:15:15,462 --> 00:15:18,524 What the short-term response would be. But, um... 314 00:15:20,207 --> 00:15:22,595 - I love you, Bree. -For god sakes, Karl. 315 00:15:22,595 --> 00:15:23,860 And I'd be honored if you'd even 316 00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:26,557 consider becoming my wife. 317 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,710 - No. I'm not done. 318 00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,357 The man who swiped that brooch 319 00:15:31,357 --> 00:15:33,233 that was the man I was. 320 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,355 The man I am now is a little better, 321 00:15:35,355 --> 00:15:38,218 But he is nothing compared to the man that I could be 322 00:15:38,219 --> 00:15:41,516 With a woman like you as my wife. 323 00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:47,269 There. Done. 324 00:15:47,963 --> 00:15:49,661 - Karl-- - Don't say anything. 325 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,848 Just go. Think it over. 326 00:15:51,848 --> 00:15:54,065 - I only wanna say-- - Bup, bup, bup! 327 00:15:54,065 --> 00:15:55,836 Just think. 328 00:16:30,802 --> 00:16:31,864 I hope I'm not disturbing you. 329 00:16:31,864 --> 00:16:34,027 I just want to thank you for the... 330 00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:37,711 Oh. Are you okay? 331 00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:40,631 You're crying. What's wrong? 332 00:16:40,631 --> 00:16:42,561 No, nothing. What's up? 333 00:16:42,562 --> 00:16:44,026 Oh, okay. 334 00:16:44,027 --> 00:16:47,490 I just wanted to tell you how well our plan is working. 335 00:16:47,491 --> 00:16:48,368 Our plan? 336 00:16:48,368 --> 00:16:51,245 Yeah, the one about taking the high road with Susan. 337 00:16:52,121 --> 00:16:55,812 I was just over there. She doesn't have a clue. 338 00:16:56,179 --> 00:16:59,014 - Who's that? - My mother. 339 00:16:59,015 --> 00:17:01,426 Oh! where does she live? 340 00:17:01,427 --> 00:17:02,778 She doesn't. 341 00:17:04,452 --> 00:17:05,152 I'm sorry. 342 00:17:05,152 --> 00:17:06,903 Tomorrow would've been her birthday. 343 00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:09,452 Every year this time I get a little depressed. 344 00:17:10,141 --> 00:17:12,569 So let's go out. I'll buy you lunch. 345 00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:14,990 It's the least I can do for my partner in crime. 346 00:17:16,868 --> 00:17:19,574 - Okay, you gotta stop with that. - What? 347 00:17:20,101 --> 00:17:21,428 This "our plan," "partner in crime." 348 00:17:21,428 --> 00:17:23,196 This is your thing with Susan. 349 00:17:23,196 --> 00:17:25,162 You do what you wanna do. 350 00:17:26,592 --> 00:17:29,489 Oh, you're just upset because of your mother. 351 00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:32,120 You know what? 352 00:17:32,121 --> 00:17:35,783 I'll bake you a pineapple upside down cake. 353 00:17:35,784 --> 00:17:37,782 Best thing in the world for depression! 354 00:17:43,785 --> 00:17:46,070 Well, I called every private school in the area. 355 00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:48,123 No openings until september. 356 00:17:48,781 --> 00:17:50,161 Damn it, Gaby. 357 00:17:50,161 --> 00:17:52,714 You couldn't wait till summer to cuss out the principal? 358 00:17:52,714 --> 00:17:55,425 I make no apologies. She had it coming. 359 00:17:55,425 --> 00:17:57,214 And I'd do it again. 360 00:17:58,583 --> 00:18:00,234 She attacked our daughter. 361 00:18:00,234 --> 00:18:01,991 Well, I'm glad you're so devoted to Juanita, 362 00:18:01,991 --> 00:18:02,844 'cause you're about to be spending 363 00:18:02,844 --> 00:18:04,171 A whole lot more time together. 364 00:18:05,053 --> 00:18:05,817 What are you talking about? 365 00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:07,547 I think we have other choice. 366 00:18:07,547 --> 00:18:09,478 You're gonna have to homeschool her. 367 00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:14,900 That's funny. Oh, you're good, Carlos. 368 00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:17,672 We needed something to cut the tension. 369 00:18:17,672 --> 00:18:19,836 But seriously, what do we do? 370 00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:22,700 Seriously? We enroll online, 371 00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:25,738 They send us the curriculum, and you teach her. 372 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,296 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Before this gets ugly, 373 00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,212 You do realize I don't know how to teach. 374 00:18:30,212 --> 00:18:33,641 Really? You taught Juanita a few choice words. 375 00:18:33,642 --> 00:18:35,939 Me? How about you? 376 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:38,004 What a blank of a day! 377 00:18:38,005 --> 00:18:40,369 Earl at the office is such a blank. 378 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:42,593 I wanna kick the blank out of his blank. 379 00:18:42,593 --> 00:18:45,898 Oh, yeah? How about, that blanking hairdresser 380 00:18:45,899 --> 00:18:48,062 Totally screwed up my blanking hair! 381 00:18:48,063 --> 00:18:50,860 Look at me! I'm totally blanked! 382 00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:53,134 The blanking client didn't sign the deal, 383 00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:54,762 And we lost a blankload of money. 384 00:18:54,762 --> 00:18:57,090 Wah! Blank, blank, blank! 385 00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:02,650 Okay. We are both at fault. 386 00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:05,620 - But you're homeschooling her. - Fine, 387 00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:08,146 But I know someone who isn't getting blanked tonight. 388 00:19:09,025 --> 00:19:10,210 Fine with me. 389 00:19:10,211 --> 00:19:11,851 I blanked off earlier. 390 00:19:20,173 --> 00:19:22,688 - Thanks again for the pie. - You're welcome. 391 00:19:24,193 --> 00:19:26,923 So I see you're wearing the brooch. 392 00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:28,374 I must say it was awfully sweet of Karl 393 00:19:28,374 --> 00:19:30,953 To give you his grandmother's jewelry. 394 00:19:30,954 --> 00:19:31,550 When you were married, 395 00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:33,271 Did he do that sort of thing often 396 00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:36,716 - Surprise you with little gifts? - Constantly. 397 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,944 Really? 398 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,203 Yeah, of course, after a while I knew that it just meant 399 00:19:41,203 --> 00:19:43,092 That he'd cheated and was feeling guilty. 400 00:19:43,327 --> 00:19:45,223 Once he went to barbados and brought me back 401 00:19:45,223 --> 00:19:48,740 A pair of sapphire earrings. I cried for days. 402 00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:54,023 So... Why the sudden fascination with Karl? 403 00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:57,379 Oh, I'm hardly fascinated, just curious. 404 00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:00,067 When you talk about your marriage to him, 405 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,463 It's always about the lies and the cheating, 406 00:20:02,464 --> 00:20:04,995 And you never really talk about the good times. 407 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,318 Well, there were wonderful times. 408 00:20:08,883 --> 00:20:10,684 Yeah, he was always a good kisser, 409 00:20:10,684 --> 00:20:13,818 And he could always make me laugh. 410 00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:17,333 You know, the truth is, if he had begged my forgiveness... 411 00:20:19,173 --> 00:20:21,459 I mean, if just once... 412 00:20:21,459 --> 00:20:24,613 He had told me that he was willing to change... 413 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,767 Oh! The hell with Karl. 414 00:20:30,768 --> 00:20:32,888 In fact, um... 415 00:20:34,329 --> 00:20:35,477 Here. 416 00:20:36,015 --> 00:20:37,978 No, Susan. It's yours. 417 00:20:37,978 --> 00:20:40,582 No, it's Karl's. 418 00:20:41,471 --> 00:20:43,901 And the only jewelry I should be wearing now is Mike's. 419 00:20:45,129 --> 00:20:48,566 - Well, if you insist. - And by the way, thanks. 420 00:20:48,566 --> 00:20:51,047 It felt good to say a few nice things about 421 00:20:51,047 --> 00:20:52,550 Karl for a change, you know. 422 00:20:53,222 --> 00:20:56,119 Well, it was nice to hear them. 423 00:20:59,321 --> 00:21:02,517 Here you go, Gaby. It's kinda old. 424 00:21:02,518 --> 00:21:05,547 It's from before the Soviet Union broke up. 425 00:21:05,548 --> 00:21:07,313 The Soviet Union broke up? 426 00:21:09,186 --> 00:21:10,294 You sure you know what you're doing 427 00:21:10,294 --> 00:21:11,642 With this homeschooling thing? 428 00:21:11,642 --> 00:21:12,775 Oh, honey, Juanita's in first grade. 429 00:21:12,776 --> 00:21:14,607 She'll believe what I tell her. 430 00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,672 Hey, your phone. oh! 431 00:21:16,673 --> 00:21:18,550 Ooh. I popped my button. 432 00:21:19,637 --> 00:21:21,421 Actually, Lynette,I'm not surprised. 433 00:21:22,694 --> 00:21:24,646 - What? - Well, I wasn't gonna bring it up, 434 00:21:24,646 --> 00:21:28,261 But... you have been getting a little rounder lately. 435 00:21:28,574 --> 00:21:31,322 Well, what can I tell you, Gaby? 436 00:21:31,322 --> 00:21:35,314 I'm working long hours, I'm not exercising, 437 00:21:35,314 --> 00:21:37,094 Eating a bunch of junk at work. 438 00:21:37,094 --> 00:21:38,396 Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised 439 00:21:38,396 --> 00:21:40,075 If she gets even bigger than this. 440 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,046 Don't you have some homework? 441 00:21:44,046 --> 00:21:47,428 Actually, I've gotta pick up some books at the library. 442 00:21:47,428 --> 00:21:48,464 Good. I'll clean up. 443 00:21:49,818 --> 00:21:50,703 Bye. 444 00:21:51,264 --> 00:21:54,193 Seriously, Lynette, you can lose this weight in one month. 445 00:21:54,193 --> 00:21:56,402 No, Gaby, I really can't. 446 00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,546 Yes, you can, and I'm gonna help you. 447 00:21:58,546 --> 00:22:00,428 What do you say we meet every morning at 7:00 448 00:22:00,428 --> 00:22:02,179 And go for a run? 449 00:22:02,179 --> 00:22:03,624 I don't know. That's right around the time 450 00:22:03,624 --> 00:22:05,188 I'm getting the kids ready for school. 451 00:22:05,188 --> 00:22:06,440 Lynette, you cannot let this go. 452 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:07,431 You know the expression 453 00:22:07,431 --> 00:22:09,389 "The longer you wait, the bigger the butt." 454 00:22:10,984 --> 00:22:12,651 If you'll excuse me, I have to get that. 455 00:22:12,651 --> 00:22:13,503 It might be another friend 456 00:22:13,503 --> 00:22:15,686 Calling to tell me my ass is too fat. 457 00:22:15,686 --> 00:22:17,583 Well, I'm just trying to help. 458 00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,386 All right. Bye. I love you. 459 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:21,112 Hello? 460 00:22:23,071 --> 00:22:25,139 No, T-Scav just left. 461 00:22:25,140 --> 00:22:27,738 This is l-scav. May I help you? 462 00:22:33,266 --> 00:22:35,064 I'm--I'm sorry. What party? 463 00:22:44,035 --> 00:22:45,904 Oh! Niedermeyer! Mahoney! 464 00:22:45,904 --> 00:22:47,174 - Hey, Mrs. Scavo. - Hi. 465 00:22:47,174 --> 00:22:49,386 Would you like a slice of long island watermelon? 466 00:22:49,387 --> 00:22:52,483 Gosh, tempting, but I just wanna find my husband 467 00:22:52,484 --> 00:22:54,315 And bring him home. 468 00:22:54,316 --> 00:22:56,861 - Uh, he's not here. - Don't cover for him. 469 00:22:56,861 --> 00:22:58,279 Somebody called our house wanting to know 470 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,048 Why he hadn't shown up with the keg yet. 471 00:23:01,048 --> 00:23:02,301 Brilliant. 472 00:23:02,301 --> 00:23:06,305 Niedermeyer, please. Tom has actual responsibilities. 473 00:23:06,306 --> 00:23:10,421 His jell-o shots and beer pong days are over, 474 00:23:10,421 --> 00:23:11,981 And I don't appreciate his new buddies 475 00:23:11,981 --> 00:23:13,604 Making him think they're not. 476 00:23:13,604 --> 00:23:14,755 He's not our buddy. 477 00:23:14,755 --> 00:23:18,195 I don't care. I just wanna know where he is. 478 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:20,193 He just dropped off the keg and left. 479 00:23:20,194 --> 00:23:22,358 Well--wait! wait! 480 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,056 If he's not your friend, why is he buying you a keg? 481 00:23:25,057 --> 00:23:27,387 Why is he making you dinner at our house? 482 00:23:32,112 --> 00:23:33,908 - Okay, boys. - No! oh, no, no, no! 483 00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:36,066 Without this watermelon, 484 00:23:36,066 --> 00:23:38,666 All these pretty girls will stay sober, 485 00:23:38,666 --> 00:23:41,071 And we know what that means. 486 00:23:41,325 --> 00:23:43,007 No! No! okay! okay! We'll tell you! 487 00:23:43,626 --> 00:23:46,090 Dude, she's got our melon! 488 00:23:48,064 --> 00:23:49,210 Tom's doing stuff for us 489 00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:51,364 Because gave him the answers to the midterm. 490 00:23:52,711 --> 00:23:54,221 He's cheating off you? 491 00:23:54,221 --> 00:23:56,528 No. we've got a connection in the math department. 492 00:23:56,807 --> 00:23:58,671 We get the tests. 493 00:24:00,670 --> 00:24:03,409 Wait, uh, Mrs. Scavo, can we get our watermelon back? 494 00:24:10,262 --> 00:24:12,626 - You coming to bed? - Just a sec. 495 00:24:15,191 --> 00:24:18,021 Oh. So exhausted. 496 00:24:18,948 --> 00:24:21,062 Oh. Okay. 497 00:24:21,062 --> 00:24:24,350 No, no, no. wait. wait. I am not that exhausted. 498 00:24:24,351 --> 00:24:27,115 Oh. okay. 499 00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:36,389 Delfino plumbing. 500 00:24:38,573 --> 00:24:42,568 Uh, yeah. Well, exactly what's the problem? 501 00:24:42,569 --> 00:24:44,777 Look, I-I'm--I'm not on call tonight. 502 00:24:44,777 --> 00:24:47,063 I'll--i'll try to stop by tomorrow. 503 00:24:47,063 --> 00:24:50,323 That's right, buster. You're not going anywhere tonight. 504 00:24:50,962 --> 00:24:52,560 Mmm. No kidding. 505 00:24:53,926 --> 00:24:55,924 Katherine can fix her own leak. 506 00:24:55,925 --> 00:24:57,489 That was Katherine? 507 00:24:57,490 --> 00:24:59,853 You goota get over there right now. 508 00:24:59,854 --> 00:25:01,868 Look, I know we've gotta be friends with her, 509 00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:05,039 But not at 11:00. And not when you're wearing this. 510 00:25:05,039 --> 00:25:06,728 Okay, she could sue us. 511 00:25:06,728 --> 00:25:08,404 Oh, she's not gonna sue us over this. 512 00:25:08,404 --> 00:25:11,541 It's not like our dog peed on her flowers. I shot her. 513 00:25:11,541 --> 00:25:13,717 So call her back and tell her you'll be right over. 514 00:25:14,831 --> 00:25:15,871 Fine. 515 00:25:16,607 --> 00:25:17,967 How long will it take anyway? 516 00:25:17,967 --> 00:25:20,439 I don't know. It's a leak in her master bath. 517 00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:23,234 In the bedroom? 518 00:25:29,730 --> 00:25:31,161 Hello, Mike. 519 00:25:32,927 --> 00:25:35,390 And Susan. What are you doing here? 520 00:25:35,391 --> 00:25:39,587 I came to assist my husband, 521 00:25:39,588 --> 00:25:41,554 Get the job done in half the time. 522 00:25:42,756 --> 00:25:45,185 Hey, um, where's your sling? 523 00:25:45,185 --> 00:25:48,913 Oh! My shoulder's feeling much better. Thank you. 524 00:25:48,913 --> 00:25:53,198 That's great! So it doesn't hurt if I do this? 525 00:25:53,198 --> 00:25:55,907 Hey, why don't we take a look at this leaky faucet? 526 00:25:56,282 --> 00:25:58,113 Uh, uh, no. 527 00:25:58,114 --> 00:26:01,910 Actually, it's the, um, garbage disposal in the kitchen. 528 00:26:01,911 --> 00:26:05,074 But I thought you said it was in the master bath. 529 00:26:05,075 --> 00:26:06,839 Mike, seriously, 530 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,770 Why would a garbage disposal be in the master bath? 531 00:26:09,771 --> 00:26:11,368 Come on. This way. 532 00:26:11,369 --> 00:26:13,566 It's just making this awful sound. 533 00:26:13,567 --> 00:26:16,032 Well, they're supposed to make an awful sound. 534 00:26:32,818 --> 00:26:34,782 What are you doing up here? 535 00:26:34,783 --> 00:26:36,714 I knew I never should've trusted you. 536 00:26:36,715 --> 00:26:40,144 You just wanted Mike over here to try to seduce him. 537 00:26:40,145 --> 00:26:41,577 Really, Susan. 538 00:26:41,578 --> 00:26:43,508 You have the most suspicious mind. 539 00:26:43,509 --> 00:26:45,873 Oh, please. Look at this place. 540 00:26:45,874 --> 00:26:47,871 Even I'm getting turned on. 541 00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:51,735 So I lit a few candles and sprinkled some rose petals. 542 00:26:51,736 --> 00:26:53,766 I do that every night. 543 00:26:53,767 --> 00:26:54,633 Really? Mm. 544 00:26:54,634 --> 00:26:57,930 Do you also drink an entire bottle of champagne? 545 00:26:57,931 --> 00:27:00,095 Maybe I have a little problem, okay? 546 00:27:00,096 --> 00:27:01,794 No, you have a big problem, Katherine. Mike! 547 00:27:01,895 --> 00:27:04,020 There's no reason to bring him into this. 548 00:27:04,028 --> 00:27:05,991 Oh, well, you say that you do this every night, 549 00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:08,489 And he used to spend a lot of nights here. 550 00:27:08,490 --> 00:27:11,320 So why don't we see if it looks familiar to him? Mike! 551 00:27:11,321 --> 00:27:14,154 Mike, I need you to come up here! Mike! 552 00:27:14,285 --> 00:27:16,149 Come up here right now! 553 00:27:16,150 --> 00:27:18,447 Stop! Stop! Stop! That's evidence! 554 00:27:18,822 --> 00:27:20,820 Leave me alone! 555 00:27:22,153 --> 00:27:24,784 Oh, my god. A bubble bath?! 556 00:27:25,062 --> 00:27:28,158 This is now a bad Jackie Collins novel. 557 00:27:28,159 --> 00:27:30,024 I want you out of my house. 558 00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:32,022 Katherine, you need help. 559 00:27:32,966 --> 00:27:35,098 What you're doing here... It's sick! 560 00:27:35,099 --> 00:27:37,961 You don't actually think that rose petals and champagne 561 00:27:37,962 --> 00:27:40,959 Are gonna work on Mike. He loves me! 562 00:27:41,389 --> 00:27:44,120 Don't push me, Susan. I'll sue you! 563 00:27:44,121 --> 00:27:46,584 Oh, you know what? Go ahead. Sue me! 564 00:27:46,585 --> 00:27:48,583 And while you're at it, 565 00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:50,881 Get me for assault with a strawberry, too. 566 00:27:50,882 --> 00:27:53,012 Uhh! Just... 567 00:27:53,013 --> 00:27:55,876 You bitch! Aah! 568 00:27:59,241 --> 00:28:01,739 Crazy! Aah! 569 00:28:18,459 --> 00:28:22,654 F.Y.I., we hate her again. 570 00:28:39,141 --> 00:28:40,842 Mahoney called me and told me that you... 571 00:28:40,848 --> 00:28:43,944 - Know about the cheating? - Yeah. I do. 572 00:28:43,945 --> 00:28:46,808 What I don't know is what the hell's the matter with you. 573 00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:50,505 Why would you do something that stupid? 574 00:28:50,506 --> 00:28:53,702 Because it is a required course that I will never use, 575 00:28:53,703 --> 00:28:56,467 And... 576 00:28:56,468 --> 00:28:59,198 I'm failing it. 577 00:28:59,199 --> 00:29:02,462 You're failing? 578 00:29:02,463 --> 00:29:04,893 We can't afford to have you fail. 579 00:29:04,894 --> 00:29:07,358 I know. That's why I did this, 580 00:29:07,359 --> 00:29:09,756 So that I could focus all of my attention 581 00:29:09,757 --> 00:29:11,754 On my core classes. 582 00:29:11,755 --> 00:29:13,686 Are... are you failing those, too? 583 00:29:13,687 --> 00:29:14,985 No... 584 00:29:14,986 --> 00:29:17,782 But it's touch-and-go. 585 00:29:17,783 --> 00:29:22,312 My advisor warned me that learning a language at my age 586 00:29:22,313 --> 00:29:23,811 Would be difficult, 587 00:29:23,812 --> 00:29:26,375 And Mandarin is one of the hardest. 588 00:29:26,376 --> 00:29:29,206 I study and I study, but I-I'm always behind. 589 00:29:29,207 --> 00:29:33,103 Lynette, you gotta understand, I am drowning here. 590 00:29:37,101 --> 00:29:38,765 I don't care. 591 00:29:38,766 --> 00:29:40,964 What? 592 00:29:40,965 --> 00:29:43,461 You're having trouble in school? Talk to me. 593 00:29:43,462 --> 00:29:45,526 Talk to your professors. Hire a tutor. 594 00:29:45,527 --> 00:29:47,425 What you don't do is cheat. 595 00:29:47,426 --> 00:29:50,056 Come on, Lynette. It... it is Statistics. 596 00:29:50,057 --> 00:29:51,987 I'm never gonna use it. 597 00:29:51,988 --> 00:29:54,751 It's the principle of the thing, Tom! 598 00:29:54,752 --> 00:29:56,650 What if the kids found out? 599 00:29:56,651 --> 00:29:59,481 What kind of example are you setting for them? 600 00:29:59,482 --> 00:30:01,446 The same one you're setting. 601 00:30:03,179 --> 00:30:05,542 When Gabrielle asked you if you were gaining weight, 602 00:30:05,543 --> 00:30:08,273 - Didn't you lie? - Oh, clearly that's different. 603 00:30:08,274 --> 00:30:11,104 - Why? - Because of the consequences. 604 00:30:11,105 --> 00:30:13,103 You could get kicked out of school. 605 00:30:13,104 --> 00:30:15,967 And you could lose one of your best friends. 606 00:30:15,968 --> 00:30:18,731 I'm going to tell Gaby the truth... 607 00:30:18,732 --> 00:30:19,018 Eventually. 608 00:30:19,018 --> 00:30:21,529 And when you do, she'll tell Carlos. 609 00:30:21,530 --> 00:30:23,194 And when he finds out 610 00:30:23,195 --> 00:30:26,358 That his new vice president lied to him, he may fire you. 611 00:30:26,359 --> 00:30:29,356 Some more about consequences? 612 00:30:29,357 --> 00:30:32,487 I think the way you're trying to rationalize your behavior 613 00:30:32,488 --> 00:30:32,808 Is pathetic. 614 00:30:32,808 --> 00:30:35,018 We are two middle-aged people, Lynette. 615 00:30:35,019 --> 00:30:37,516 We both know the value of principles. 616 00:30:37,517 --> 00:30:40,880 We also know something that we've never told the kids... 617 00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:43,311 That there are, sadly, some times in life 618 00:30:43,312 --> 00:30:47,108 When you need to break the rules in order to survive. 619 00:30:49,641 --> 00:30:51,571 I cheated on a test. 620 00:30:51,572 --> 00:30:53,569 You don't want to pat me on the back? Fine. 621 00:30:53,570 --> 00:30:55,468 But don't act like you are better than me, 622 00:30:54,471 --> 00:30:56,434 'Cause you're not. 623 00:30:59,965 --> 00:31:02,794 "Okay," said Skippy. 624 00:31:02,795 --> 00:31:06,292 "I'll meet you down at red creek after school." 625 00:31:06,293 --> 00:31:08,590 This is boring. Can I watch TV? 626 00:31:08,591 --> 00:31:10,488 Juanita, while you're here with me, 627 00:31:10,489 --> 00:31:12,521 It's the same as if you were at school. 628 00:31:12,522 --> 00:31:15,185 We just finished gym class. Now it's time for reading. 629 00:31:15,186 --> 00:31:17,216 Ironing isn't gym class. 630 00:31:17,217 --> 00:31:19,147 Hey, who's the teacher here, huh? 631 00:31:19,148 --> 00:31:20,380 Read! 632 00:31:20,381 --> 00:31:22,778 You read. 633 00:31:24,378 --> 00:31:26,308 Juanita! 634 00:31:26,309 --> 00:31:28,307 Come on. 635 00:31:28,308 --> 00:31:31,770 Let's just finish this chapter. 636 00:31:38,599 --> 00:31:40,530 Don't even think about it. 637 00:31:42,962 --> 00:31:46,491 I'm warning you. I am not playing. 638 00:31:52,788 --> 00:31:56,716 Juanita, so help me god... 639 00:31:56,717 --> 00:31:58,815 - Pick it up! - No. 640 00:31:58,816 --> 00:32:01,812 Pick it up or end up on the floor next to it. 641 00:32:09,141 --> 00:32:12,036 Thank you. That's much better. 642 00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:19,730 Hello? So what did we learn today? 643 00:32:19,731 --> 00:32:22,794 - Pick up the book! Pick it up! - No! No! 644 00:32:22,795 --> 00:32:25,725 Gaby, what the hell is going on?! 645 00:32:25,726 --> 00:32:28,190 It's called homeschooling! 646 00:32:28,191 --> 00:32:30,587 Pick... up... the... book! 647 00:32:31,633 --> 00:32:33,564 I did what you asked, Karl. 648 00:32:33,565 --> 00:32:35,829 I went home and thought about your proposal. 649 00:32:35,830 --> 00:32:39,559 And? No, wait. Not yet. Do I need to brace myself? 650 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,190 - I'm not gonna say no. - Really? 651 00:32:42,191 --> 00:32:44,055 Or yes. What's the point 652 00:32:44,056 --> 00:32:46,286 When I already have a husband I can't seem to shake? 653 00:32:46,287 --> 00:32:49,518 So for now, you might wanna focus on getting me a divorce. 654 00:32:49,519 --> 00:32:52,182 And if I do that, you'll marry me? 655 00:32:52,183 --> 00:32:55,279 No, not you, but I am interested in this other Karl-- 656 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,711 The one you say you're planning to become. 657 00:32:57,712 --> 00:33:00,808 Yeah, if you marry me. 658 00:33:00,809 --> 00:33:02,898 Well, I'm afraid 659 00:33:02,899 --> 00:33:04,571 He's gonna have to make an appearance sooner than that. 660 00:33:04,572 --> 00:33:07,403 I think I can arrange a meeting. 661 00:33:07,404 --> 00:33:11,099 Oh! That's another thing. No sex for at least a month. 662 00:33:11,383 --> 00:33:12,271 A month? 663 00:33:12,271 --> 00:33:14,890 You are too adept at using it to cloud my judgment. 664 00:33:14,935 --> 00:33:17,498 I wanna see you through eyes that are clear, 665 00:33:17,499 --> 00:33:18,631 Not rolling back in my head. 666 00:33:18,631 --> 00:33:20,896 So I have to be a good boy and no sex. 667 00:33:20,897 --> 00:33:22,927 It's like we're married already. 668 00:33:22,928 --> 00:33:25,492 Karl, if we go public with this, let alone marry, 669 00:33:25,493 --> 00:33:27,657 There will be serious consequences. 670 00:33:27,658 --> 00:33:29,655 Susan may never speak to me again, 671 00:33:29,656 --> 00:33:31,653 And god only knows what Orson will do. 672 00:33:31,654 --> 00:33:33,685 I will not even contemplate paying that price 673 00:33:33,686 --> 00:33:36,116 Until I'm sure you're damn well worth it. 674 00:33:37,072 --> 00:33:39,670 And if you can prove that you are... 675 00:33:42,634 --> 00:33:44,698 Then you can give this to me again. 676 00:33:44,699 --> 00:33:47,730 And next time, it'll mean something. 677 00:34:01,398 --> 00:34:04,328 Well, did you talk with her? Is she ready to apologize? 678 00:34:04,845 --> 00:34:06,542 Mm, not quite. 679 00:34:06,543 --> 00:34:08,640 She heard what you said to the principal, 680 00:34:08,641 --> 00:34:10,773 And she is blaming you 681 00:34:10,774 --> 00:34:12,479 For her not being allowed to go back to school. 682 00:34:12,479 --> 00:34:13,937 So you defended me, right? 683 00:34:13,938 --> 00:34:16,367 Well, that was a little tough, 684 00:34:16,368 --> 00:34:18,119 What with her being right and you being wrong. 685 00:34:18,119 --> 00:34:20,630 What do you mean wrong? I did what I did for her. 686 00:34:20,631 --> 00:34:23,262 Really? 687 00:34:23,263 --> 00:34:25,760 You don't think that maybe a teeny bit of that 688 00:34:25,761 --> 00:34:28,224 Was in response to you being criticized as a mom? 689 00:34:28,225 --> 00:34:29,356 No! 690 00:34:31,304 --> 00:34:34,234 Well, maybe "the horse you rode in on" part, 691 00:34:34,235 --> 00:34:37,165 But the original sentiment was all in defense of our daughter. 692 00:34:37,166 --> 00:34:39,297 Where does she get off being mad at me? 693 00:34:39,398 --> 00:34:41,428 Gaby, she can't go to school and be with her friends. 694 00:34:41,524 --> 00:34:43,771 She can't have people over because a chimp 695 00:34:43,772 --> 00:34:45,520 Mauled a clown at her birthday party. 696 00:34:46,173 --> 00:34:48,604 She has every right to be mad. 697 00:34:48,605 --> 00:34:51,868 You... not so much. 698 00:35:11,586 --> 00:35:15,282 Ma? It's me. 699 00:35:15,283 --> 00:35:19,212 I know. It's been a long time. I'm sorry. 700 00:35:19,213 --> 00:35:21,610 No, you know I can't tell you that. 701 00:35:21,611 --> 00:35:23,709 Just... know that we're safe, okay? 702 00:35:23,710 --> 00:35:26,340 Oh, ma, please, don't cry. 703 00:35:26,341 --> 00:35:30,803 We only have a few minutes to talk, okay? 704 00:35:30,804 --> 00:35:33,133 He's good. 705 00:35:33,134 --> 00:35:35,465 He just turned 19. 706 00:35:35,466 --> 00:35:38,862 I know. Can you believe it? 707 00:35:38,863 --> 00:35:42,326 Yeah, I wish we could, too. Uh, it's just too risky. 708 00:35:42,327 --> 00:35:45,290 But, you know, maybe one of these days... 709 00:35:47,489 --> 00:35:49,054 Ma, I gotta go. 710 00:35:49,055 --> 00:35:52,018 I-I-I'll talk to you soon. Rimanga Bene, okay? 711 00:35:54,117 --> 00:35:57,314 Hey ya, Katherine. What you got there? 712 00:35:57,315 --> 00:35:59,645 I thought you said your mother was dead. 713 00:35:59,646 --> 00:36:02,176 Oh, yeah. That was my mother-in-law. 714 00:36:02,177 --> 00:36:03,942 Nick's mom. 715 00:36:05,108 --> 00:36:06,606 You call her "ma"? 716 00:36:06,607 --> 00:36:08,238 We're close. 717 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,202 I didn't hear you come in. 718 00:36:10,203 --> 00:36:12,833 The front door was open. here. 719 00:36:14,700 --> 00:36:17,530 Hey, is that one of those prepaid phones? 720 00:36:17,531 --> 00:36:20,061 Oh, yeah. when Nick and I went on vacation, 721 00:36:20,062 --> 00:36:22,126 We bought this to call home. 722 00:36:22,127 --> 00:36:24,225 And then we had some minutes left over, 723 00:36:24,226 --> 00:36:26,511 So I figured i'd use 'em up. 724 00:36:26,512 --> 00:36:27,655 What's on your mind, Katherine? 725 00:36:27,656 --> 00:36:30,686 Well, I wanted to drop off the cake as promised 726 00:36:30,687 --> 00:36:35,649 And tell you last night, Susan and I had a big fight. 727 00:36:35,650 --> 00:36:37,713 She threw me into the bathtub. 728 00:36:37,714 --> 00:36:39,145 Really? 729 00:36:39,146 --> 00:36:41,677 First she shoots me, now she tries to drown me. 730 00:36:41,678 --> 00:36:43,608 I'm going to the police, 731 00:36:43,609 --> 00:36:46,072 So I'm gonna need that gun for evidence. 732 00:36:46,073 --> 00:36:48,237 What gun? 733 00:36:48,238 --> 00:36:50,802 The one she shot me with. 734 00:36:50,803 --> 00:36:52,834 The one Danny gave Julie. 735 00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,461 Listen, Katherine, I really don't think it's a good idea 736 00:37:00,462 --> 00:37:03,425 Gettin' the police involved. 737 00:37:03,426 --> 00:37:06,222 Just stick to your plan. 738 00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:10,520 I hate that she can get away with this. 739 00:37:13,718 --> 00:37:18,745 Hey. Nick's not Italian, is he? 740 00:37:18,746 --> 00:37:20,278 No. why? 741 00:37:20,279 --> 00:37:24,207 'cause you were talking to his mother in Italian. 742 00:37:24,208 --> 00:37:27,905 Oh, she likes it. makes her feel sophisticated. 743 00:37:29,971 --> 00:37:32,434 I have a doctor's appointment in 40 minutes. 744 00:37:32,435 --> 00:37:34,919 I really should get dressed. 745 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,830 But thank you for the cake. 746 00:37:42,678 --> 00:37:44,875 What's that, sweetie, your homework? 747 00:37:44,876 --> 00:37:47,805 It's all homework now, isn't it? 748 00:37:49,837 --> 00:37:52,235 Look, Juanita, 749 00:37:52,236 --> 00:37:55,166 You know, when I was young, I used to get picked on 750 00:37:55,167 --> 00:37:57,231 Because I was the littlest kid in my class, 751 00:37:57,232 --> 00:37:59,862 And I couldn't defend myself from the bullies. 752 00:37:59,863 --> 00:38:02,793 And then i discovered a part of me that was big-- 753 00:38:02,794 --> 00:38:05,025 My mouth. 754 00:38:05,026 --> 00:38:07,355 And I've been fighting back with it ever since. 755 00:38:07,356 --> 00:38:09,321 So when Mrs.Peterson said those mean things, 756 00:38:09,322 --> 00:38:10,627 I had to defend you. 757 00:38:10,628 --> 00:38:12,151 Why? I said a bad word. 758 00:38:12,152 --> 00:38:14,475 If you just let her punish me, 759 00:38:14,476 --> 00:38:15,715 This would all be over. 760 00:38:15,716 --> 00:38:17,581 Believe me, leaving that school 761 00:38:17,581 --> 00:38:20,279 Is gonna wind up being a good thing. 762 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,544 Mrs.Peterson is a bully. 763 00:38:21,545 --> 00:38:22,410 I like Mrs.Peterson. 764 00:38:26,174 --> 00:38:32,501 Okay. I was wrong, and I'm sorry you're upset. 765 00:38:34,368 --> 00:38:37,564 You still think I'm a good mom, right? 766 00:38:40,062 --> 00:38:41,727 Honey? 767 00:38:41,728 --> 00:38:45,358 Can we just read? 768 00:38:52,485 --> 00:38:54,949 I'm telling you, Katherine cannot be trusted. 769 00:38:54,950 --> 00:38:57,980 The way she talks about stealing Mike back from you? 770 00:38:57,981 --> 00:38:59,979 She has completely lost it. 771 00:38:59,980 --> 00:39:02,343 Believe me, I know. Mike and I have a new rule. 772 00:39:02,344 --> 00:39:05,341 We're going to pretend that Katherine doesn't exist. 773 00:39:05,342 --> 00:39:07,405 You think that's gonna be enough? 774 00:39:07,406 --> 00:39:08,605 You need to get her off the street. 775 00:39:08,606 --> 00:39:11,568 Katherine hates you, 776 00:39:11,569 --> 00:39:14,299 And I'm not talkin' "dirty looks in the supermarket" hate. 777 00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:16,232 That woman is dangerous. 778 00:39:16,233 --> 00:39:17,763 Dangerous how? 779 00:39:17,764 --> 00:39:22,393 Okay. I can't believe i'm even saying this. 780 00:39:22,394 --> 00:39:24,891 But do you know where Katherine was 781 00:39:24,892 --> 00:39:27,056 The night that Julie was attacked? 782 00:39:31,353 --> 00:39:35,115 No. that's crazy. um... 783 00:39:35,116 --> 00:39:37,647 Why would Katherine want to hurt Julie? 784 00:39:37,648 --> 00:39:41,177 You had just married the man that she loved. 785 00:39:41,178 --> 00:39:42,909 It was dark. 786 00:39:42,910 --> 00:39:45,707 A woman walked out of your house... 787 00:39:48,539 --> 00:39:51,901 Maybe she didn't think it was julie. 788 00:39:57,265 --> 00:40:00,528 There are so many rules in this world. 789 00:40:00,529 --> 00:40:03,059 That's why we must start learning them 790 00:40:03,060 --> 00:40:06,756 While we are still children. 791 00:40:06,757 --> 00:40:09,121 We are told very clearly... 792 00:40:09,122 --> 00:40:12,684 "Don't say bad words." 793 00:40:20,046 --> 00:40:24,175 "It's not nice to lie to your friends." 794 00:40:26,074 --> 00:40:29,770 "You shouldn't covet a man who isn't yours." 795 00:40:31,570 --> 00:40:36,398 "and you shouldn't betray a man who is." 796 00:40:36,399 --> 00:40:39,521 So we grow up, 797 00:40:39,522 --> 00:40:42,360 And still we break the rules... 798 00:40:42,361 --> 00:40:47,256 Completely forgetting that if someone catches us, 799 00:40:47,257 --> 00:40:49,505 We will be punished. 800 00:40:49,509 --> 00:40:52,005 - Hi there. - Yes, good afternoon, sir. 801 00:40:52,006 --> 00:40:53,520 Uh, I was hoping to replace the camel brooch 802 00:40:53,550 --> 00:40:55,383 My wife purchased here 803 00:40:55,499 --> 00:40:57,041 I'd like to surprise her 804 00:40:57,226 --> 00:40:59,915 A brooch? Hmm, we don't have anything like that here. 805 00:41:01,035 --> 00:41:02,064 You must be mistaken. 806 00:41:02,065 --> 00:41:04,123 My wife was quite specific about where she purchased it. 807 00:41:04,969 --> 00:41:07,136 Sorry,we sell furniture 808 00:41:07,836 --> 00:41:09,247 She must've gotten it somewhere else 809 00:41:10,911 --> 00:41:11,949 Excuse me