1 00:00:00,130 --> 00:00:02,360 Previously on... 2 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:04,350 Lives change in five years. 3 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,160 Some families grow, while others grow apart. 4 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:12,010 So I thought I'd bring him back sunday around 6:00 or so. Fine. 5 00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:14,660 And we find ways... it's not really a good time. 6 00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:16,510 To ease the pain. 7 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:19,050 Yes, in five years... 8 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,670 Edie, is that really you? I have a husband now. 9 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,600 Many things change. 10 00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:25,370 You're required to check in once a month. 11 00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:27,150 It was a condition of your release. 12 00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:32,780 All in all, 13 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:36,980 Susan mayer's boyfriend knew he had a lot goingor him. 14 00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:39,240 He was romantic... 15 00:00:42,180 --> 00:00:43,810 Had a nice smile... 16 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,550 And was consistently thoughtful. 17 00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:54,510 Yes, Jackson braddock had many wonderful attributes. 18 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:56,680 Sadly... 19 00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:59,760 A sense of timing wasn't one of them. 20 00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:01,540 Hello. 21 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,020 Can I help you? 22 00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:07,170 I guess you could tell Susan I'm here. 23 00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:10,170 Okay. Uh... who are you? 24 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:13,120 Oh, I'm Mike... the ex-Husband. 25 00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:15,790 I, uh, I take it you're... 26 00:01:15,850 --> 00:01:17,140 Jackson. 27 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,710 I'm, uh... 28 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,380 Susan's, uh... 29 00:01:20,470 --> 00:01:21,460 Friend? 30 00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:23,030 Friend. That's right. 31 00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:26,640 Wow. Could this be any more awkward? 32 00:01:26,650 --> 00:01:28,700 Well, your robe's open... so yeah. 33 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:32,090 Well, you be the judge. 34 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:33,480 I don't know, man. It-It's pretty good. 35 00:01:33,490 --> 00:01:35,320 Well, I got the feeling that... 36 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,200 Hey, your ex-Husband is... 37 00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,780 Mike! Uh, what's going on? 38 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,420 I was just returning m. J.'S video game. 39 00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:57,660 He left it at my house. 40 00:01:57,670 --> 00:02:01,290 Oh. Thanks. So I guess you met Jackson. 41 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,010 Yeah. Nice legs. 42 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,900 Oh, clearly this is not 43 00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:07,840 How I would've wanted the two of you to meet. 44 00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:10,690 He's-He's really a nice guy. 45 00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:12,930 Yeah, well, just to make sure, I'm gonna need 46 00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:14,550 To hang with him a little bit, check him out. 47 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,460 Oh, I don't know that that's necessary. 48 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,400 If he's sleeping in the same house as my son, 49 00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:20,230 I think it is. 50 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,600 Oh, well, first off, um, m. J. Was at a sleepover last night. 51 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,780 And, in fact, Jackson and he haven't even met, 52 00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:29,350 So, uh, there's really no need for you to be hanging... 53 00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:30,790 Or checking. 54 00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:34,800 Oh, just... tell Jackson I'll pick him up here tomorrow night. 55 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,210 Hey, hold on. 56 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,820 You don't get to just decide these things by yourself. 57 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,320 You remember how nice I was about our custody agreement? 58 00:02:45,650 --> 00:02:48,010 I can haul you back to court tomorrow 59 00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:51,460 If I'm not 100% satisfied with who you expose my son to. 60 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,770 Got it? 61 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:02,090 Uh, I'm sorry. 62 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:06,090 It's so not how I wanted to meet your ex for the first time. 63 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,030 Well, when you meet him for the second time, 64 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,070 You can tell him that. 65 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:13,340 He's picking you up here tomorrow night. What? 66 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,300 I'll explain over breakfast. 67 00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:17,610 Did you get the paper? 68 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,230 And that is w Jackson braddock realized 69 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,900 He needed better timing... 70 00:03:28,610 --> 00:03:29,830 Who are you? 71 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,520 And a longer robe. 72 00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:48,550 If there is one thing everyone in suburbia can appreciate... oh, hey! 73 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,200 It's a good neighbor. 74 00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,210 You know, the kind that helps 75 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,840 With the last bag of groceries... 76 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,180 Or brings over misplaced mail... 77 00:04:00,710 --> 00:04:02,950 Or offers to mow your lawn. 78 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,700 Yes, everyone appreciates a good neighbor. 79 00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,600 You are so sweet to do this. 80 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,240 I just know how tricky these bulbs can be. 81 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:16,120 And no one knew this bette than dave williams, 82 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,410 Who was determined to be 83 00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:21,280 The best neighbor steria lane had ever seen... 84 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,340 Assuming, of course, 85 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:27,650 His wife didn't get in the way. 86 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:29,900 What's going on? 87 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:31,160 Packing our bags. 88 00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:32,960 Karen mccluskey insulted me again, 89 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:34,780 And I can't put up with it anymore. 90 00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,520 All right, what did she say to you this time? 91 00:04:36,530 --> 00:04:41,700 Nothing. It doesn't matter. We are moving. Adults don't pack up and move 92 00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:43,550 Because of some good-Natured teasing. 93 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,670 She said that my breasts were a triumph oferman engineering. 94 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,230 You call that good-Natured? 95 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,360 Come on. She's a cranky old lady. 96 00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:53,530 It's not just her. It's all of them. 97 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:57,320 I mean, it's been five years. I have changed. 98 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,430 But the people on this street don't care. 99 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,230 To them, I will always be a joke. 100 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,740 I'm sorry you had a bad day. 101 00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:09,770 Please don't use your motivational voice. 102 00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:10,690 I really hate that. 103 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:13,530 You're upset and you're tired. 104 00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:15,680 Why don't you take a nice hot shower, 105 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,540 And I'll makus some lunch? 106 00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:20,440 Does that sound good? 107 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,410 I just never understood it. 108 00:05:29,170 --> 00:05:32,800 We-We could've gone and lived in any city in this country. 109 00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:37,080 Why did you insist on living here? 110 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,910 'Cause we can be happy here. 111 00:05:39,770 --> 00:05:41,500 You just need to give it some time. 112 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,150 And I promise, 113 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,640 I'll personally see to it 114 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,170 That people start treating you with a little more respect. 115 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,480 You didn't answer my question. 116 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,040 Didn't I? 117 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:12,620 Carlos, we got invited to michelle downing's party! 118 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:15,620 I'm gonna have to buy something nice to-Aah! 119 00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:18,610 Gaby, I'm giving a massage. 120 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,170 I can see that. 121 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,730 I can see a lot of things- 122 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:23,990 Things that can never be unseen. 123 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,890 Uh, sorry. I guess the towel must've rode up. 124 00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:32,220 Carlos? Kitchen. Now. 125 00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:36,880 I know you don't like it when I work down here, 126 00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:38,020 But he couldn't get up the stairs. 127 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:41,380 He's got a bum hip. He's also missing a testicle. 128 00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:44,070 Carlos, how much more of this am I supposed to take? 129 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,690 Okay, okay, maybe I could set up my table in the garage. 130 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,030 No! That's only part of the problem. 131 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,870 Have you checked our bank balance lately? 132 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:55,360 Gaby, I am not taking the country club job. 133 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:57,560 Why not? You'd be massaging rich people. 134 00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:59,080 They tip better and they tend to 135 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,920 Flake less. Yeah, but I like working here 136 00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:03,920 I get to spend lots of time with you and the kids. 137 00:07:03,930 --> 00:07:06,090 Carlos, I don't need to spend lots of time with you. 138 00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,310 And frankly, the kids are on the fence. Gaby! 139 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:12,230 Bottom line, I miss our life. I miss shopping. 140 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,900 All I have to look forward to 141 00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:16,240 Is the occasional invitation to a fancy party. 142 00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:18,590 And I can't even afford a dress to go to it. 143 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:23,790 Carlos, please, I am begging you. Fine. I'll- I will take the job. 144 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,130 Thank you. 145 00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:28,900 Sorry. 146 00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:34,330 Ah, no. 147 00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,990 Unh-Unh. Come on. 148 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,260 I really don't think Mike's gonna care what shirt I wear. 149 00:07:42,270 --> 00:07:43,590 Well, I do. 150 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,370 We need a shirt that says, "I'm a responsible citizen, " 151 00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:50,980 Not "my favorite clothing store also sells bongs. " 152 00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,950 Are you dissing my sense of style? 153 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,650 Absolutely. 154 00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:56,630 Put this on. 155 00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:58,210 Now... 156 00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:00,960 Let's talk about acceptable topics of conversation. 157 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,680 You like sports, right? 158 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,990 Yeah. I'm a huge socr fan. No, you're not. 159 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,200 You like football- American football. 160 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:08,920 Specifically the colts. Okay. 161 00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,640 And here are some other things you can talk about- 162 00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:13,080 Cars, barbue, fishing. 163 00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:16,040 How about fire? Mike like talk fire? 164 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,360 Jackson, please take this seriously. 165 00:08:18,370 --> 00:08:21,580 I am. I'm just-I'm not gonna pretend to be somebody I'm not. 166 00:08:21,590 --> 00:08:23,930 If he doesn't like me, wh's he gonna do? 167 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:25,190 He could take me to court, 168 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,610 And the judge can make me choose between you and my son. 169 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:30,090 And I'm sorry. You will lose. 170 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,000 Peyton manning 171 00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:34,990 Is the greatest quarterback who ever lived. 172 00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:36,730 Thank you. 173 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:42,350 Now go shave. You look like a hobo. 174 00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:53,090 Got a sec? 175 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,310 Not really. 176 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:59,210 So I assume you know about what happened to jimmy conrado. 177 00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,170 I guess. 178 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,400 Your friend gets busted for dealing drugs at school, 179 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,490 And all you have to say is, "I guess"? 180 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,010 He's not my friend. - What are you talking about? 181 00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:10,560 You were on the same little league team. 182 00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:13,940 Yeah, like a million years ago. Anything else? 183 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,170 No. 184 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,090 Not really. 185 00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:26,710 Parker. 186 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,820 Can I ask you something, just between us? 187 00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:32,390 Does porter hang out with jimmy conrado? 188 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:33,350 I don't know. I could check out his 189 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,490 Friends list on silverfizz. His what on what 190 00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:40,960 It's like myspace. You have a web page. 191 00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:42,930 It shows your hobbies, your favorite music, 192 00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:44,420 And you can talk to people. 193 00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:47,690 Really? Can anyone talk to him? 194 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:50,030 Yeah. He just has to invite you. 195 00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,820 And, uh... 196 00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,780 How would somebody make that happen? 197 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,560 Now it's just a mock-Up, 198 00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:01,460 But this is what the book is going to look like. 199 00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:04,570 Mom, that's fantastic. 200 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,200 Good call on the font. 201 00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:07,690 Thank you, dear. 202 00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:10,600 Orson, what do you think? 203 00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:12,370 Well, I think it's strange 204 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:14,740 To see my wife billed as "mrs. Van de kamp. " 205 00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:16,650 Well, you knew what the book was gonna be 206 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:18,840 Called. Yes, but it's differen actually seeing it 207 00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:21,440 I mean, is it too late to go with "mrs. Hodge"? 208 00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,960 My company, which I formed when we were separated, 209 00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:25,880 Is called mrs. Van de kamp's catering. 210 00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:28,440 It's how I'm known. Oh, in fairview. 211 00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:30,710 But this book will be national. 212 00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:33,520 I mean, it's your chance to rebrand yourself. 213 00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:35,820 Is there something wrong with "Hodge"? 214 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,710 I think I just heard the milk go bad. I should check. 215 00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,410 Orson, I adore you, 216 00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:46,510 But your name... our name- It has no music. 217 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,750 "Van de kamp" trips off the tongue. 218 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,880 "Hodge" sounds like the noise a plunger makes. 219 00:10:51,890 --> 00:10:53,250 That's preposterous. 220 00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:54,340 Listen... 221 00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:55,610 Van de kamp. 222 00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:56,980 Hodge. 223 00:10:57,430 --> 00:10:59,340 Also, she's got a radio interview wednesday, 224 00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,360 And they're already promoting her as mrs. Van de kamp. 225 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,550 See? The ship has already sailed. 226 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:06,260 Oh, don't be hurt. It's my professional name. 227 00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:09,250 In this house, I will always be mrs. Hodge. 228 00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:12,500 Now... would it help if mrs. Hodge 229 00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:15,160 Cooked you your favorite pot roast tonight? 230 00:11:15,660 --> 00:11:17,890 Yes, I guess it would help. 231 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,700 Uh, meeting with your publicist? 232 00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:25,080 Oh, right. Um, tomorrow for sure, then. 233 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,820 Van de kamp. Hmm. 234 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:34,350 Hodge. 235 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:43,630 Here you go. Oh, thank you. 236 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,940 Toby, get off my chair. You know better. 237 00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:49,310 So what's on your mind? 238 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,470 It's Edie. 239 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,250 You said something to her yesterday 240 00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:53,990 That hurt her feelings. 241 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,010 That thing about her breasts? Come on. That was a joke. 242 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,320 Perhaps, but it upset her so much 243 00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:02,240 That she suggested we leave wisteria lane. 244 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,810 I can't have that, mrs. M. 245 00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:06,880 Hey, this is what Edie and I do. We tease each other. 246 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,990 I say she's easier to get into than community college. 247 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,390 She says my face looks like a knee. 248 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:13,730 It's fun. 249 00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:17,160 Still... I would consider it a personal favor 250 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,560 If you'd apologize to her. 251 00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:21,950 You know, make her feel accepted and loved. 252 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,680 No. 253 00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:27,030 No? 254 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,770 If Edie wants to change the way we talk to each other, 255 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,720 She's gotta ask me personally. 256 00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,750 And I think you've got a lot of gall 257 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,790 Making me feel like I did something wrong 258 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,540 When you don't even know me. 259 00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:41,340 Oh... I know you, 260 00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:43,150 Better than you think. 261 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,390 Oh, really? 262 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:45,720 For starters, 263 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:47,990 You talk to your cat like it's a person. 264 00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:52,340 When I knocked on your door, you immediately invited me in. 265 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,790 Doesn't take a genius to see that you're lonely. 266 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,330 I'm thinking you had people in your life at one time... 267 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,920 People who cared about you. 268 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,070 But somethg happened to them. 269 00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:10,250 Some probably died. The rest, well... 270 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,600 They just don't come around much anymore. 271 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,810 Why do you think that is? 272 00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:19,760 I know you, mrs. Mccluskey. 273 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,290 And it seems to me 274 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,110 That a woman le you would like to keep 275 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,170 The few friends that she has left. 276 00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:29,660 I think you'd better go. 277 00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,430 Thanks for tonight. 278 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,460 And, uh, before I forget, the colts suck. 279 00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,350 Oh, here's what sucks- Watching a zero-Zero game 280 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,670 With no cheerleaders, soccer boy. 281 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,300 You guys were insulting each other. 282 00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:11,200 That's good, right? Yeah, we had a blast 283 00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:12,260 Really? Yeah. 284 00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,590 In fact, we're getting together wednesday night at o'brien's, 285 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,750 Which he claims has the best bacon potato skins in town. 286 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,670 Potato skins at o'brien's? You've made his inner circle! 287 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,970 This is fantastic! Thank you. Mmm. Mmm. 288 00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:26,100 Ah, you can think of 289 00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:28,350 A more creative way to thank me than that. 290 00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:39,280 Nice. 291 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:40,030 Yeah? 292 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,910 Yeah. Mmm. 293 00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:45,270 You've never done that before. 294 00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:49,080 Wait. 295 00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:51,500 You've never done that before. Why are you doing that now? 296 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:54,110 I don't know. Don't you like it? 297 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,590 Yeah. But how did you know I would like it? 298 00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:00,850 Oh, my God. 299 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:02,090 What? 300 00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:05,920 Mike told you about the ear thing, didn't he? 301 00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,020 No. 302 00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:08,990 So you just happened 303 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,570 To stumble across my secret turn-On 304 00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:13,810 The same night that you and Mike became b. F.F.S? 305 00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:16,180 But aren't we losing sight of the fact that you like it? 306 00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:18,900 This is... I mean, I'm just... 307 00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,890 I have been violated. 308 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,090 Oh, honey, come on- 309 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:25,420 Don't touch me! Or my ears! My ears are dead to you. 310 00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:28,230 It just slipped out. We were talking about how girls- 311 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,620 They-They all like different things, right? 312 00:15:29,630 --> 00:15:31,320 And I-I was talking about this girl in high school, 313 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:32,990 How she liked to do it with her shoes on, 314 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,830 And-And Mike talked about the lobe nibble. He has a name for it? 315 00:15:38,140 --> 00:15:39,520 Okay. 316 00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:42,260 That's it. You and Mike are not hanging out anymore. 317 00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:43,330 And this little 318 00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:47,860 Wednesday "potato skins and Susan sex tips night"? 319 00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:49,000 I forbid it. 320 00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:56,050 Did Mike mention he likes having his toes sucked? 321 00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:58,800 Oops! That just slipped out. Hmm. 322 00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:06,500 Gaby... 323 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:08,810 Bree! What's up? 324 00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:13,440 Well, um, michelle downing asked me to speak to you. 325 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:14,680 I don't know if you heard, 326 00:16:14,690 --> 00:16:15,960 But I'm catering her birthday party- I 327 00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:19,350 Heard. I can't wait. Ooh, I was gonna ask you 328 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,630 Should I wear the navy blue chanel 329 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,110 Or the red sleeveless dress? You can't come. 330 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:25,630 Sorry. 331 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,570 I just had to rip the band-Aid off. 332 00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:31,010 What? She's disinviting me? 333 00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:32,090 It's not personal. 334 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,150 You know how Carlos just started at the club? 335 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,810 Well, her guests are all members, 336 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,430 And she thinks they might find it awkward 337 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:38,810 Socializing with... 338 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,240 Staff. 339 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,010 She called us "staff"? 340 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:46,490 Oh, Gaby, it's just one party. I'll save you some cake. 341 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,370 No! It's not just one party! 342 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:50,010 It's the kickoff to the whole social season. 343 00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:51,410 If people see we're off michelle's list, 344 00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,820 Then we'll be off everyone's. 345 00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:55,050 And then it's gonna be the start of our slow slide 346 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:58,490 From gowns and galas to flip-Flops and keggers! 347 00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:05,220 Okay, if Carlos working at the club is the problem, 348 00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:07,040 Then tell her he just quit. 349 00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:08,990 Oh, hon, I don't think that's gonna fly. 350 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,170 He's already rubbed too many members. 351 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:15,790 What's happened to my life? 352 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,010 We used to have help. Now we are the help! 353 00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,030 What are you doing? 354 00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:29,630 I am just... 355 00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:32,700 Talking to porter on silverfizz. 356 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,630 Who is saraj from macarthur high school? 357 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,320 Me. 358 00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:40,250 I'm 16 and cute. 359 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:43,280 I like graphic novels and tokyo police club. Oh, my God. 360 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:45,230 You-You're pretending to be somebody else? 361 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,020 Our brooding son has a classmate 362 00:17:47,030 --> 00:17:48,600 Who got arrested for selling drugs. 363 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:52,200 I really think the end justifies the means here. 364 00:17:52,390 --> 00:17:56,090 Okay, we'll address your major ethical breach in a moment. 365 00:17:57,870 --> 00:18:01,010 What did you find out? Well, the good news is 366 00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:02,690 He really doesn't hang out with jimmy conrado. 367 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:05,730 But I am a little worried about anita47, 368 00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:10,480 Who told him cherry fruit pops are an aphrodisiac. 369 00:18:11,860 --> 00:18:14,850 Okay, great, you know who he hangs around with now. 370 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:17,470 You got what you came for. Time to stop. 371 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,840 You're probably right. It's just... 372 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,180 Did you know porter writes poetry? 373 00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:26,270 Serious? Yeah. 374 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:27,510 Our porter, 375 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,980 The kid who communicates with grunts and shrugs, 376 00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:31,410 Writes this... 377 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:35,500 Beautiful, heart-Wrenching poetry. 378 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,950 Maybe one day he'll share it with you 379 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,320 Instead of your fantasy alter ego. 380 00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:44,790 Until then, shut it off. 381 00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:46,510 Okay, okay. 382 00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:48,370 You're right. 383 00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:49,720 You're right. 384 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,310 I luvs me some walt whitman! 385 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,390 Emlly dickinson kicks walt whitman's ass! 386 00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:22,300 Yeah, if you're into spinster poetry. 387 00:19:23,670 --> 00:19:24,960 Oh, really? 388 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:33,670 Is your girlfrend into poetry, too? 389 00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:42,110 Don't have one. There's a girl I lile. But we haven't gotten to that yet. 390 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,010 Aw. That's sweet. 391 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,660 Girls love romance. Send her a poem. She won't know what hit her. 392 00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:57,390 Still talking to poetry girl? 393 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,590 Bite me. 394 00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:00,980 Dude, she didn't put up her photo. 395 00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:03,700 5 bucks says she looks like she came out of an egg. 396 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,480 Whatever. 397 00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:10,490 Toby? 398 00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:14,320 Toby! Where are you? 399 00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:15,760 Toby! 400 00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:19,010 Everything all right, mrs. M.? 401 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,550 It's toby. I can't find him. 402 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:24,390 Oh, no. How did he get out? 403 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,680 The living room window was open, which is bizarre 404 00:20:26,690 --> 00:20:28,420 Because I don't remember opening it. 405 00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:30,550 Can you help me find him? 406 00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:35,140 Have you given any more thought about apologizing to Edie? 407 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,980 She's still pretty down in the dumps. 408 00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:40,380 I've kind of been busy. 409 00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,950 Of course you have. It's just that... 410 00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:45,670 Well, since I'm about to help you find your cat, 411 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,620 It sure would be nice if you could help me out with Edie. 412 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,130 Doesn't that seem fair to you? 413 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,010 I guess. 414 00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:56,550 Here. 415 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,010 Thank you. 416 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,620 Okay. Toby! 417 00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:06,580 Toby! Come here, boy! 418 00:21:07,970 --> 00:21:09,050 Toby! 419 00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:12,390 So they'll finish with the news, do a quick traffic update, 420 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,340 And then we're on the air. Uh, do you need anything? 421 00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:18,050 No, I'm good. How do I look? 422 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,870 We're on the radio. 423 00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:23,120 Oh. I'm a little bit nervous. 424 00:21:23,130 --> 00:21:24,910 This is my first national interview. 425 00:21:25,170 --> 00:21:27,600 And I am a huge fan of your cookbooks. 426 00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,800 Well, I've heard good things about you. 427 00:21:30,260 --> 00:21:31,590 I understand you're catering 428 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,700 Michelle downing's birthday dinner tonight. 429 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,390 Oh, you know michelle? Yes, and I'll be there. 430 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,300 I can't wait to see what you dish up. 431 00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:40,580 Okay, now I'm terrified. 432 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:44,690 Here we go. 433 00:21:45,860 --> 00:21:46,740 Good afternoon. 434 00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:50,250 I'm Linda Flanagan, and this is "gourmet americana. " 435 00:21:50,260 --> 00:21:52,090 If you've been to fairview's best parties, 436 00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:54,710 Then you've probably tasted the mouthwatering food 437 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,070 Dished up by my first guest, Bree Van de Kamp. 438 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,070 Now she's about to publish her first book, 439 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,750 "Mrs. Van de kamp's old-Fashioned cooking. " 440 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:02,820 Welcome, Bree. 441 00:22:02,830 --> 00:22:04,090 Hi, Linda. 442 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,170 Tell me. Why "old-Fashioned"? 443 00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:09,270 Well, I think a lot of people miss the way life used to be- 444 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,500 Back when women had more time to cook. 445 00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:13,090 It's always been important to me 446 00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:15,560 To have the family gather around the table every night 447 00:22:15,570 --> 00:22:18,110 For hot, lovingly prepared meals. 448 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,460 So you're a traditional kinda gal. 449 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,900 Is there a mr. Van de kamp? 450 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,250 No. 451 00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:28,120 Uh, mr. Van de kamp is deceased. Oh. 452 00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:29,890 But in regards to my husband, 453 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:31,800 I should make one thing very clear- 454 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,200 His passing had nothing to do with my cooking. 455 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,140 Is that my yeats book? I love his poetry. 456 00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:48,950 Yeah. I'm borrowing it for school. 457 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,570 This is the kind of poetry that melts a girl's heart. 458 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:55,380 So romantic. 459 00:22:55,390 --> 00:22:57,540 Oh! Here's a great one- 460 00:22:57,550 --> 00:23:00,650 "The lover tells of the rose in his heart. " 461 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,500 My first boyfriend gave me this poem. 462 00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:06,890 I was a junior in- Mom, I'm-I'm running late. Can I have the book back? 463 00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:08,560 Oh. Sorry. 464 00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,080 Enjoy! 465 00:23:19,710 --> 00:23:23,210 Katherine, it is not too late to change tonight's menu. 466 00:23:23,220 --> 00:23:25,130 If Linda Flanagan likes my food, 467 00:23:25,140 --> 00:23:27,190 She might give me a quote for the book jacket. 468 00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:29,520 I have to knock her socks off, 469 00:23:29,530 --> 00:23:31,720 And I am not betting the farm on haddock. 470 00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:34,240 Argue with me all you like. 471 00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:37,610 I just bought 40 pounds of pork, so get your tushie over here. 472 00:23:39,390 --> 00:23:42,130 Orson! Did you get my message about Linda Flanagan? 473 00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:43,240 Yes, I heard. 474 00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:44,410 Isn't it amazing? 475 00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:48,360 Mm. Almost as amazing as my on-Air death notice. 476 00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:49,780 What? 477 00:23:49,790 --> 00:23:51,890 "So, Bree, do you have a husband?" 478 00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:56,460 "Nope. Used to. He croaked. " She didn't ask if I had a husband. 479 00:23:56,470 --> 00:23:58,290 She asked if there was a mr. Van de kamp, 480 00:23:58,300 --> 00:24:01,310 And there's clearly not. Well, there's a mrhodge. 481 00:24:01,620 --> 00:24:03,650 Would it have killed you to have mentioned me? 482 00:24:03,660 --> 00:24:05,020 And waste valuable airtime? 483 00:24:05,030 --> 00:24:06,660 The show was about my cookbook, 484 00:24:06,670 --> 00:24:08,830 Not about my tortured marital history. 485 00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:10,420 That's not what this is about. 486 00:24:10,430 --> 00:24:12,890 It's because I went to jail, isn't it? 487 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,220 Orson, I have 6 hours to prepare a meal for 80 people. 488 00:24:17,230 --> 00:24:19,270 We're not having this discussion now. 489 00:24:19,570 --> 00:24:21,830 Just admit it. You're ashamed of me. 490 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,120 Should I be proud? 491 00:24:24,310 --> 00:24:26,720 Do you want me to go on the radio and boast 492 00:24:26,730 --> 00:24:28,850 That my husband served time for running someone over? 493 00:24:28,860 --> 00:24:30,750 I went to jail because you told me 494 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,450 It was the only way you'd take me back. 495 00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:34,670 And because it was the right thing to do. 496 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:37,600 I just didn't know then 497 00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:40,270 That I would be a public figure someday. 498 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:41,890 But I am. I have a name now. 499 00:24:42,050 --> 00:24:44,040 And luckily for you, it's not mine. 500 00:24:46,550 --> 00:24:49,350 Orson, please don't be hurt. 501 00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:51,990 I am under so much pressure and so terrified I'll fail 502 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,260 That I don't even know what I'm saying half the time. 503 00:24:55,340 --> 00:24:57,340 Just let me get through this. 504 00:24:57,350 --> 00:24:59,230 As soon as the plates go out tonight, 505 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,810 I will come home and cook you that pot roast I promised. 506 00:25:02,820 --> 00:25:03,870 Okay? 507 00:25:06,690 --> 00:25:08,500 Okay. Hmm. 508 00:25:10,220 --> 00:25:12,100 It's just that... I- 509 00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:14,870 Chives! How could I forget chives? 510 00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:23,260 Hey, Susan, it's me. 511 00:25:23,270 --> 00:25:26,630 Listen, I'm not gonna be able to make dinner tonight. 512 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,900 My college roommate's in town, 513 00:25:28,910 --> 00:25:30,520 And this is the only night we can get together. 514 00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:33,090 Oh. Is his name Mike Delfino? 515 00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,700 Did you room together at liars' college? 516 00:25:35,930 --> 00:25:38,020 Um, I know it's last-Minute, and I'm really sorry, 517 00:25:38,030 --> 00:25:39,300 But I stilwanna see you. 518 00:25:39,310 --> 00:25:43,610 So how about I drop by later? Call me if that's a problem. 519 00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:46,030 Yeah, you'll drop by later... 520 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,530 With potato skins on your breath, 521 00:25:47,540 --> 00:25:49,150 You miserable two-Timer! 522 00:25:51,020 --> 00:25:52,650 What's wrong, mom? 523 00:25:53,310 --> 00:25:54,560 Nothing. 524 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,890 Just, the answering machine lied to mommy. 525 00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:03,870 I finally found a poem as beautiful as you. You're all I think about. 526 00:26:05,660 --> 00:26:10,070 "The lover tells of the rose in his heart" by william butler yeats. 527 00:26:10,250 --> 00:26:13,120 Oh, crap on things. 528 00:26:13,730 --> 00:26:15,230 Crap on what things? 529 00:26:20,470 --> 00:26:22,740 Porter sent me a sex poem. 530 00:26:23,090 --> 00:26:25,260 What? Why? 531 00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:27,460 He may be in love with me. 532 00:26:29,050 --> 00:26:30,870 Why would he be in love with you? 533 00:26:31,010 --> 00:26:34,290 Okay... remember how you told me 534 00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:36,260 I should stop talking to him online? 535 00:26:36,390 --> 00:26:37,820 Well, of course, I didn't, 536 00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:40,880 And I sort of told him I liked his poetry. 537 00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:44,310 You told a teenage boy that you liked his poetry? 538 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,140 Jeez, Lynette! Why not just flash him a boob? 539 00:26:47,150 --> 00:26:49,440 Shh! He'll hear you. So what are you gonna do? 540 00:26:49,450 --> 00:26:51,090 Are you gonna tell him the truth now, or are you gonna 541 00:26:51,100 --> 00:26:53,150 Wait until after he kills me and blinds himself? 542 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,490 Calm down. I'm gonna break it off in an e-Mail. 543 00:26:56,630 --> 00:26:59,390 Oh, great. Just like that? That'll kill him. 544 00:26:59,860 --> 00:27:01,760 I know that you have only been the receiving end 545 00:27:01,770 --> 00:27:04,860 Of break-up letters, but I've actually written a few, 546 00:27:04,870 --> 00:27:06,920 And I know how to let him down easy. 547 00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:10,050 "Dear porter, 548 00:27:10,060 --> 00:27:11,140 "I really like you, 549 00:27:11,150 --> 00:27:13,010 But I wanna see other offspring. " 550 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,150 Go away. 551 00:27:22,870 --> 00:27:24,200 You know, I'm kinda surprised 552 00:27:24,210 --> 00:27:25,310 We still made michelle's list this year, 553 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:26,840 What with me working at the club. 554 00:27:26,850 --> 00:27:30,570 Oh, don't be silly, Carlos. We're still on everyone's list. 555 00:27:31,180 --> 00:27:33,100 Now let's go. Okay. 556 00:27:39,140 --> 00:27:41,730 Gaby, are we in the banquet hall? 557 00:27:41,740 --> 00:27:44,000 What's all the noise? Oh, it's just the caterers 558 00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:46,260 Putting glasses and silverware on the tables. 559 00:27:46,270 --> 00:27:48,010 They make some racket, huh? 560 00:27:48,020 --> 00:27:49,890 But the decorations are stunning. 561 00:27:50,090 --> 00:27:52,370 Especially that waterfall effect. 562 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:55,340 Gaby? Bree! 563 00:27:55,740 --> 00:27:58,000 Shouldn't you be in the kitchen? 564 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,570 Don't move, honey. The press is taking your photo. 565 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:09,560 What are you doing here? You were disinvited. I got it all figured out. 566 00:28:09,570 --> 00:28:12,340 We duck inside, make sure we're seen by all the right people- 567 00:28:12,350 --> 00:28:13,580 Except mrs. Downing- 568 00:28:13,590 --> 00:28:15,410 And then after about 20 minutes, we cut out. 569 00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:17,660 Well, I know nothing. Just keep me out of it. 570 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,600 What is carlosoing? 571 00:28:36,150 --> 00:28:38,390 Where is he? Where is who? 572 00:28:38,570 --> 00:28:40,380 Like you don't know- Jackson. 573 00:28:40,390 --> 00:28:41,830 Well, he's not here. 574 00:28:42,050 --> 00:28:44,690 Really? Whose is this? 575 00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:47,290 I... d-I don't know. Some guy's. 576 00:28:47,300 --> 00:28:49,650 "I... I don't know"? 577 00:28:49,870 --> 00:28:52,340 Well, I hope that "some guy" 578 00:28:52,460 --> 00:28:54,260 Doesn't mind this. 579 00:28:54,270 --> 00:28:56,470 No, Susan, really, I wouldn't... 580 00:28:56,670 --> 00:28:59,100 Lady, what are you doing to my beer? 581 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,990 We're not married anymore, 582 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,470 So I don't have to protect you. 583 00:29:05,820 --> 00:29:09,420 I am... so sorry. 584 00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:10,990 Miss? 585 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,590 Um... could you just... 586 00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:16,210 Please take good care of my friend? 587 00:29:18,830 --> 00:29:21,320 Jackson canceled on me. 588 00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:23,760 He said you weren't comfortable with us hanging out. 589 00:29:23,770 --> 00:29:26,890 He said that? And I think I said, "meow. " 590 00:29:28,210 --> 00:29:29,490 I am such a jackass. 591 00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:31,340 So why don't you want us hanging out? 592 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,250 Well, I was pretty ticked off 593 00:29:34,260 --> 00:29:35,850 That you told Jackson about the ear thing. 594 00:29:35,860 --> 00:29:39,050 Oh, God. The second I said that, I wished I hadn't. 595 00:29:39,060 --> 00:29:40,800 I- I'm really sorry. 596 00:29:42,820 --> 00:29:44,890 Apology accepted. 597 00:29:45,890 --> 00:29:49,260 So if I promise to behave, can we still hang out? 598 00:29:49,270 --> 00:29:51,340 'Cause I really think it'd be good for m. J., 599 00:29:51,350 --> 00:29:52,950 Just seeing that we're all friends. 600 00:29:54,180 --> 00:29:55,490 I don't... 601 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,700 What? 602 00:29:56,970 --> 00:29:58,650 I'm just not comfortable 603 00:29:58,660 --> 00:30:00,550 With you and Jackson getting that close. 604 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:02,620 Okay. 605 00:30:04,170 --> 00:30:05,380 It's just... 606 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:09,900 I don't want him to see me through your eyes. 607 00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,770 How exactly do you think I see you? 608 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,020 Well, those last few months we were together, I... 609 00:30:18,030 --> 00:30:20,760 The things I said to you, the way I acted... 610 00:30:20,930 --> 00:30:23,410 I mean, I'm not proud of the person I became. 611 00:30:24,050 --> 00:30:26,310 That was a bad time, Susan. 612 00:30:27,180 --> 00:30:28,970 We're not those people anymore. 613 00:30:29,910 --> 00:30:32,440 And if you could see yourself through my eyes, 614 00:30:32,860 --> 00:30:35,050 You'd know you got nothing to worry about. 615 00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:43,900 Could you please take care of this guy? 616 00:30:46,450 --> 00:30:47,960 He's my friend, too. 617 00:31:01,270 --> 00:31:03,030 Boy, am I glad to see you. 618 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:04,900 Where you been? 619 00:31:04,910 --> 00:31:07,580 Out, uh, doing some thinking. 620 00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:12,120 And I've decided that I may have gone a little overboard 621 00:31:12,130 --> 00:31:13,440 About you and Mike. 622 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,750 In fact, I think it's cool if you wanna hang out with my ex. 623 00:31:18,670 --> 00:31:20,380 Hey, susie q.! 624 00:31:21,260 --> 00:31:22,990 Just shakin' the dew off the lily. 625 00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:24,460 And speaking of, 626 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,310 That paint job in the guest can is nice. Kudos. 627 00:31:27,450 --> 00:31:28,980 What are you doing here? 628 00:31:28,990 --> 00:31:32,330 Well, Julie needed me to cosign some insurance stuff for her, 629 00:31:33,330 --> 00:31:36,570 And I guess I lost track of time talking to crunchy granola here. 630 00:31:38,060 --> 00:31:40,470 Plumber to housepainter in one move, susie? 631 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,010 Don't get dizzy climbin' that social ladder. 632 00:31:43,020 --> 00:31:45,290 Can you leave, please? Just think... 633 00:31:45,350 --> 00:31:49,190 If I'd been a roofer, we might still be together. Sigh. Get out. 634 00:31:50,010 --> 00:31:51,940 See ya around, hacky sack. 635 00:31:57,230 --> 00:32:00,420 So... any more exes I should know about? 636 00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:08,850 Don't you just love michelle's parties? 637 00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:10,200 Oh, they are fun. Mm-Hmm. 638 00:32:10,210 --> 00:32:13,560 But I enjoy my intimate lunches with michelle even more. 639 00:32:13,570 --> 00:32:17,280 We have intimate lunches. We're friends. Well, you simply must come 640 00:32:17,290 --> 00:32:19,720 To the charity auction at ted's gallery next weekend. 641 00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,530 Really? We'd love to. 642 00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:26,020 Gaby! 643 00:32:26,030 --> 00:32:28,380 Well, it's the caterer! 644 00:32:29,140 --> 00:32:30,620 Everything is fabulous. 645 00:32:30,630 --> 00:32:34,590 But would you be a dear and get me some more wine? I would be happy to. 646 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,010 I just want to make sure it's the kind you like. 647 00:32:41,380 --> 00:32:42,530 You're still here? 648 00:32:42,540 --> 00:32:46,180 Dinner is about to be served. Whose seats are you in? The bowmans. 649 00:32:46,190 --> 00:32:49,370 I found out mrs. Bowman is home with the flu. Score! 650 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,140 Oh, will you unclench? It'll be fine. 651 00:32:52,150 --> 00:32:55,640 No, no, no, no, no. These are my seats. This is my mother. 652 00:32:57,190 --> 00:32:58,540 That was mr. Bowman, wasn't it? 653 00:32:58,550 --> 00:32:59,300 Yes, and I'm pretty sure 654 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:01,540 That elderly woman with him was his mother! 655 00:33:01,550 --> 00:33:03,040 What kind of man leaves his sick wife at home 656 00:33:03,050 --> 00:33:05,070 To go party with mommy?! - You can fix this. 657 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,600 Just tell them that you're at the wrong tabl 658 00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:08,110 And then slip out the side door. Right. 659 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:11,720 Yes, sir, he has absolutely no- That was the matre d', wasn't it? 660 00:33:11,730 --> 00:33:14,390 Yes, and he appears to be checking the guest list. Which we're not on. 661 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,940 Okay, you can fix this. 662 00:33:15,950 --> 00:33:17,520 Just explain you're going to a different party 663 00:33:17,530 --> 00:33:19,470 Here at the club and that you got confused. 664 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,280 Mrs. Downing never has to know. Right. 665 00:33:21,290 --> 00:33:23,340 You need to leave! Out. 666 00:33:25,270 --> 00:33:27,810 That's mrs. Downing. How am I gonna fix this? 667 00:33:27,820 --> 00:33:30,600 At this point, I would just run off screaming into the night. 668 00:33:31,150 --> 00:33:33,040 Thank you. Mm-Hmm. 669 00:33:33,580 --> 00:33:35,340 Get your hands off me. 670 00:33:35,350 --> 00:33:37,950 Gaby! Gaby! 671 00:33:39,570 --> 00:33:41,210 Poor blind bastard. 672 00:33:42,350 --> 00:33:43,720 I'll meet him outside. 673 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,030 What? Hi, Edie. 674 00:33:55,610 --> 00:33:58,800 I just wanted to say I feel awful about what I said to you. 675 00:33:59,210 --> 00:34:01,910 You know, that crack I made the other day? 676 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:05,740 Okay. 677 00:34:05,790 --> 00:34:07,130 That's nice of you. 678 00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:10,920 Are you all right? 679 00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:13,970 Actually, no. My cat's missing. 680 00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:15,110 Toby? Mm-Hmm. 681 00:34:15,130 --> 00:34:19,020 Since when? It's been two days, and he's never been out this long. 682 00:34:19,410 --> 00:34:20,820 Oh, I'm so sorry. 683 00:34:20,855 --> 00:34:22,230 I'm sure he's fine. 684 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,110 Yeah. Well... 685 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:26,820 Could you tell dave... 686 00:34:27,010 --> 00:34:30,520 Tell him I apologized? And, uh, you and I are good, huh? 687 00:34:32,350 --> 00:34:34,550 I guess I could. Why do you want him- 688 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,780 Oh, just tell him, please. 689 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,630 I cannot believe you pulled a stunt like that. 690 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:48,170 What? 691 00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:51,300 I was just trying to salvage what's left of our social life. 692 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:52,800 Now just let it go 693 00:34:52,810 --> 00:34:54,150 And start thinking about where we're gonna move. 694 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,590 This is not a joke, Gaby. I work with these people. 695 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,120 I have to show my face tomorrow. It's humiliating. 696 00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:01,850 You wanna know what's humiliating? 697 00:35:01,860 --> 00:35:02,710 Waking up one day 698 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:04,480 And finding out you're invisible. 699 00:35:04,870 --> 00:35:07,410 Now it's official. I've lost everything. 700 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,400 Everything? 701 00:35:09,410 --> 00:35:11,170 First our money, then my figure, 702 00:35:11,180 --> 00:35:14,030 Now the last shreds of our social standing. 703 00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:16,900 We haven't lost a thing 704 00:35:16,910 --> 00:35:20,750 Except the chance to hobnob with a bunch of unhappy snobs. 705 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,970 What do you mean, they're unhappy? 706 00:35:22,980 --> 00:35:25,670 They're rich! They have jewels and cooks. 707 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,700 They use "winter" as a verb. 708 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,100 I rub them, Gaby, 709 00:35:30,110 --> 00:35:31,880 And there is nothing 710 00:35:31,890 --> 00:35:34,430 That a blind masseur doesn't hear about. 711 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:35,680 Trust me. 712 00:35:35,690 --> 00:35:38,030 They are every bit as miserable as I was 713 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,470 When I was out there chasing that stuff. 714 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,870 We have lost nothing that matters. 715 00:35:49,110 --> 00:35:51,740 We have a home, we have each other, 716 00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:53,240 We have work that supports us, 717 00:35:53,250 --> 00:35:56,860 And we have two beautiful little girls that... 718 00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,720 Love us more than ice cream. 719 00:36:03,430 --> 00:36:05,420 I've never been happier in my life. 720 00:36:07,460 --> 00:36:08,180 Are you serious? 721 00:36:08,190 --> 00:36:09,430 Yes, 722 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,830 And the only thing that would make me happier 723 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,250 Is for you to realize how good we've got it. 724 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,510 "I have never talked to such a wonderful guy, 725 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,610 But I should've told you I'm already seeing somebody... " 726 00:36:27,620 --> 00:36:29,320 Blah, blah, blah... 727 00:36:29,330 --> 00:36:33,450 "Continue to trust your heart, and your dreams will follow. " 728 00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:35,060 Wow, Lynette. 729 00:36:35,370 --> 00:36:37,950 Best dear john letter ever. 730 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,140 Uh... thanks. 731 00:36:39,490 --> 00:36:41,560 Except you might wanna change that part 732 00:36:41,570 --> 00:36:44,840 Where you signed it "love, mom. " What? No I didn't. 733 00:36:44,850 --> 00:36:46,930 Yeah, you did... 734 00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:48,140 Right there. 735 00:36:49,410 --> 00:36:50,960 You sent it?! 736 00:36:51,010 --> 00:36:52,930 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 737 00:36:52,940 --> 00:36:54,740 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 738 00:36:54,750 --> 00:36:56,700 Why didn't you say something?! I did! 739 00:36:56,710 --> 00:36:59,860 You said it was great. Way to bury the lead, Tom! 740 00:37:02,660 --> 00:37:04,030 Tom, don't you dare! Hey, 741 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,580 One of needs to live to take care of the other one 742 00:37:29,010 --> 00:37:30,210 Hey. 743 00:37:33,930 --> 00:37:35,350 Mind if I join you? 744 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,440 Okay, I know what I did... 745 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,520 Was unforgivable. 746 00:37:42,530 --> 00:37:45,590 And I am not trying to make excuses, 747 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,990 But... 748 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,100 We used to talk all the time, 749 00:37:50,110 --> 00:37:52,570 And then one day it just stopped, 750 00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:54,470 And it killed me. 751 00:37:54,910 --> 00:37:57,020 I felt like I lost you. 752 00:37:57,940 --> 00:38:00,490 And then I was saraj, and I had you back, 753 00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:03,550 And we were talking again, and you were telling me things. 754 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,330 I wasn't telling you anything. 755 00:38:06,330 --> 00:38:07,590 I was telling her. 756 00:38:10,310 --> 00:38:11,390 Okay. 757 00:38:19,430 --> 00:38:21,000 Well, for what it's worth, 758 00:38:21,010 --> 00:38:23,700 I loved our conversations, 759 00:38:23,735 --> 00:38:26,390 And I'm... going to miss them. 760 00:38:33,070 --> 00:38:34,310 Me, too. 761 00:38:42,550 --> 00:38:44,200 Orson, you're still up. 762 00:38:44,580 --> 00:38:46,380 Oh, I wish you could've been there. 763 00:38:46,390 --> 00:38:48,430 Linda Flanagan loved my food. 764 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,140 She said I was "God's gift to the table" 765 00:38:50,150 --> 00:38:52,290 And that I could quote her on the book jacket. 766 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,400 Are you all right? 767 00:38:56,190 --> 00:38:57,250 I'm hungry. 768 00:38:57,260 --> 00:38:59,490 It's after midnight. Haven't you eaten? 769 00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:03,390 I was waiting for you. You said you'd make me pot roast. 770 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,980 I am so sorry. I-I lost all track of time, 771 00:39:06,990 --> 00:39:09,200 And Linda had so many questions about the food. 772 00:39:09,210 --> 00:39:11,870 I'll make you that pot roast tomorrow, okay? No. 773 00:39:15,140 --> 00:39:16,380 I want it now. 774 00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:19,640 Now? 775 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,220 You promised. 776 00:39:23,030 --> 00:39:25,530 Orson, I've been cooking all day. 777 00:39:25,540 --> 00:39:27,860 I... I'm so tired, I can barely stand up. 778 00:39:27,870 --> 00:39:31,590 You really want me to make you a pot roast now? 779 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:33,890 You promised. 780 00:40:25,270 --> 00:40:26,420 Toby! 781 00:40:27,510 --> 00:40:30,930 Where in the world did you come from, huh? 782 00:40:45,260 --> 00:40:49,600 Yes, everyone appreciates a good neighbor... 783 00:40:52,170 --> 00:40:56,470 You know, the kind that helps you with the groceries... 784 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,310 But doesn't ask, "why is your son so moody?" 785 00:41:02,710 --> 00:41:05,890 The type that delivers misplaced mail 786 00:41:06,710 --> 00:41:11,300 But doesn't point out your wife seems discontented... 787 00:41:14,010 --> 00:41:17,150 The sort that offers to mow your lawn... 788 00:41:18,130 --> 00:41:22,730 But doesn't mention your husband seems cold. 789 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,700 But if you're not sure the man next door 790 00:41:27,710 --> 00:41:30,750 Is as nice as he would have you believe... 791 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,910 Now why would you bring me flowers? 792 00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:34,805 'Cause you've got a computer, 793 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:38,030 And I need to find out some stuff about Edie's husband. 794 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:42,500 Do everything you can to get to know him better.