1 00:00:00,066 --> 00:00:02,642 Previously on Desperate Housewives... 2 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:05,548 Gabrielle tried to rekindle an old affair... 3 00:00:05,549 --> 00:00:06,740 Gaby, I'm getting married. 4 00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:08,980 And I was married when we got together. 5 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,965 That is not how I'm gonna be married. 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,841 Lynette got the support she needed for chemotherapy... 7 00:00:14,842 --> 00:00:17,661 Katherine, who liked everything in its place... 8 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:21,223 thought that her husband was forgetting his. 9 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,300 I guess you learned nothing from Chicago. 10 00:00:23,306 --> 00:00:26,600 Bree's attempt to keep her daughter's pregnancy a secret... 11 00:00:26,605 --> 00:00:28,692 You are keeping my grandchildren from me. 12 00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:31,719 Evoked an unexcepted response. 13 00:00:31,925 --> 00:00:33,067 We're life partners. 14 00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:36,542 And Susan tried to connect with the newest neightbors... 15 00:00:36,566 --> 00:00:39,270 Yeah, I've seen a lot of cable, so I get it. 16 00:00:39,276 --> 00:00:41,363 I hope we can live up to your stereotype. 17 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:42,743 I should go. 18 00:00:46,228 --> 00:00:48,790 The odd-looking boxes were delivered 19 00:00:48,796 --> 00:00:51,233 to the home of Bob Hunter and Lee McDermott 20 00:00:51,386 --> 00:00:53,782 early on a Tuesday morning. 21 00:00:54,058 --> 00:00:56,532 It wasn't long before workmen had opened them, 22 00:00:56,568 --> 00:01:00,782 and begun assembling the various parts and pieces. 23 00:01:01,557 --> 00:01:03,973 Happily, it only took three hours 24 00:01:03,995 --> 00:01:06,663 to turn the contents into a finished work of art. 25 00:01:09,856 --> 00:01:12,783 Sadly, it only took 15 minutes 26 00:01:12,788 --> 00:01:15,560 for the residents of Wisteria Lane... 27 00:01:15,838 --> 00:01:17,060 What the hell is it? 28 00:01:17,096 --> 00:01:19,752 To become art critics. 29 00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:23,422 - I think it's a sculpture. - I think it's crap. 30 00:01:23,427 --> 00:01:24,661 Of all the gay men in the world, 31 00:01:24,695 --> 00:01:26,703 we have to get the two without taste. 32 00:01:26,865 --> 00:01:28,741 What are we gonna do about this? 33 00:01:28,796 --> 00:01:31,301 I say we keep smiling and look for the hidden cameras. 34 00:01:31,397 --> 00:01:32,692 I think we're about to get Punk'd. 35 00:01:32,705 --> 00:01:34,513 I don't think there's anything we can do. 36 00:01:34,535 --> 00:01:35,350 It's not our lawn. 37 00:01:35,357 --> 00:01:38,313 It's our neighborhood, and we have rules against this sort of thing. 38 00:01:38,325 --> 00:01:40,541 Or at least we did when I used to live here. 39 00:01:40,617 --> 00:01:42,562 Who's running the homeowners association? 40 00:01:42,598 --> 00:01:43,713 Well, it was Mary Alice, 41 00:01:43,756 --> 00:01:44,753 but as you may have heard... 42 00:01:44,758 --> 00:01:46,982 Yes, very tragic. 43 00:01:46,985 --> 00:01:48,691 So we haven't had a president in four years? 44 00:01:48,706 --> 00:01:51,301 No one would volunteer. It's a pain-in-the-ass job. 45 00:01:51,325 --> 00:01:52,802 I'll volunteer. 46 00:01:52,915 --> 00:01:54,682 We can hold an election in the next couple of days. 47 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,571 I can get rid of this tinfoil atrocity by the weekend. 48 00:01:57,708 --> 00:01:59,173 Okay, before we become an ugly mob, 49 00:01:59,175 --> 00:02:01,222 why doesn't one of us go talk to the guys? 50 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,373 But not me. 51 00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:03,730 They hate me. 52 00:02:04,527 --> 00:02:07,203 Bree, you talk to them. You can relate to them. 53 00:02:07,248 --> 00:02:08,433 Why would you say that? 54 00:02:08,437 --> 00:02:10,302 You got a kid who came flying out of the closet 55 00:02:10,307 --> 00:02:13,010 and a husband who's been looking for the doorknob. 56 00:02:14,998 --> 00:02:16,501 What? You've met him. 57 00:02:16,506 --> 00:02:18,461 Ooh! They're coming. 58 00:02:22,296 --> 00:02:23,503 Good morning, ladies. 59 00:02:23,618 --> 00:02:27,223 Hi. Uh, we were just talking about your sculpture. 60 00:02:27,428 --> 00:02:28,482 That's what I love about art, 61 00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:29,891 the way it provokes discussion. 62 00:02:29,895 --> 00:02:33,010 Although it would've been nice if you had discussed it with us. 63 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,060 What, you don't like it? 64 00:02:36,037 --> 00:02:37,663 Well, we're not saying that. 65 00:02:37,697 --> 00:02:40,120 It's just a little, uh... 66 00:02:40,947 --> 00:02:42,350 It's an eyesore. 67 00:02:42,576 --> 00:02:43,870 Really? 68 00:02:44,006 --> 00:02:45,671 You hear that, Bob? We flew to Finland 69 00:02:45,685 --> 00:02:48,911 and paid $24,000 to commission an eyesore. 70 00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:50,723 I don't mind it. 71 00:02:50,768 --> 00:02:52,492 Not to brag, but I went to art school. 72 00:02:52,498 --> 00:02:53,753 Community college... 73 00:02:54,047 --> 00:02:56,811 And they taught us that art is subjective. 74 00:02:58,577 --> 00:02:59,852 Thank you, Susan. 75 00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:02,421 Susan's need for approval aside, 76 00:03:02,425 --> 00:03:05,262 this clearly is not appropriate for the street. 77 00:03:05,468 --> 00:03:07,093 Wisteria Lane has a... 78 00:03:07,245 --> 00:03:08,632 traditional look. 79 00:03:08,725 --> 00:03:11,793 Well, maybe you'd like it better if we covered it with a gingham throw. 80 00:03:13,378 --> 00:03:16,253 Ladies, I'm sorry. 81 00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:18,773 We honestly thought that people would like it, 82 00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:21,841 but even if you disapprove, we hope that you will 83 00:03:21,865 --> 00:03:24,941 respect our right to decorate as we see fit. 84 00:03:29,195 --> 00:03:30,662 Have a nice day, philistines. 85 00:03:31,508 --> 00:03:36,083 Yes, art came to Wisteria Lane on a Tuesday morning, 86 00:03:36,158 --> 00:03:38,153 and by Tuesday afternoon... 87 00:03:38,158 --> 00:03:41,553 I think it's time to reconvene the homeowners' association. 88 00:03:42,326 --> 00:03:44,062 All in favor? 89 00:03:44,395 --> 00:03:45,722 Aye. 90 00:03:46,405 --> 00:03:48,660 War had come as well. 91 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:53,002 Desperate Housewives 4x5 Art Isn't Easy 92 00:03:58,728 --> 00:04:01,041 As word of the sculpture spread, 93 00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:03,041 Bob and Lee began to wonder 94 00:04:03,088 --> 00:04:06,752 if any of their neighbors would be supportive. 95 00:04:07,256 --> 00:04:11,610 But when the sculpture's true function was unveiled the next day, 96 00:04:12,238 --> 00:04:15,161 whatever support they did have... 97 00:04:18,097 --> 00:04:20,863 was quickly washed away. 98 00:04:21,155 --> 00:04:22,783 Come on. 99 00:04:22,956 --> 00:04:24,983 It's 6:00 a.m. What is that? 100 00:04:24,987 --> 00:04:27,401 I don't know, but make it stop. 102 00:04:33,747 --> 00:04:35,710 Oh, my God. 103 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,222 Wow! It's a fountain, too. 104 00:04:46,365 --> 00:04:47,930 We would have mentioned that yesterday, 105 00:04:47,935 --> 00:04:49,842 but your friends were a little uptight. 106 00:04:49,847 --> 00:04:51,123 Yeah, they can get like that. 107 00:04:51,128 --> 00:04:54,273 So do you think that you can just turn it off for a second? 108 00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:03,611 - What's up? - I was just wondering, 109 00:05:03,945 --> 00:05:07,090 do you think you could move it to your backyard? 110 00:05:08,678 --> 00:05:10,353 Why? I thought you liked it. 111 00:05:10,488 --> 00:05:12,412 Remember? You said, "art is subjective." 112 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,871 Yes! 113 00:05:14,118 --> 00:05:15,661 Quiet art is subjective, 114 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:18,163 but you see, Mike is working really long hours lately, 115 00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:20,060 and he can't sleep with all that noise. 116 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,393 We're not gonna turn it off because we need it to drown out 117 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,613 all the stuff we hear coming from your house. 118 00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:27,222 - Like what? - Let's see. 119 00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:28,662 You yakking to your Mom on the phone. 120 00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:30,451 You grunting through your Pilates DVDs. 121 00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:33,043 You in the shower, butchering the score to Brigadoon. 122 00:05:33,045 --> 00:05:34,652 I have a lovely voice. 123 00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:37,661 Whoever told you that is not your friend. 124 00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:40,322 He's a little cranky. 125 00:05:40,337 --> 00:05:42,423 I think someone needs his french toast. 126 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,050 Come on, Lee. 127 00:05:44,185 --> 00:05:46,140 No, no, no, no. No, no, we're not done here. 128 00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:48,103 As your neighbor, I have a right to be heard... 129 00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:51,002 And I say that simple human decency dictates 130 00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:54,200 that you turn off that fountain right now! 131 00:05:58,308 --> 00:05:59,401 Hey, guys. 132 00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:00,510 Do over, Parker. 133 00:06:00,596 --> 00:06:02,623 Hey, guys, I got your snack. 134 00:06:02,938 --> 00:06:03,773 What you playing? 135 00:06:03,835 --> 00:06:04,953 - Action figures. - Wanna play, Mom? 136 00:06:06,176 --> 00:06:09,172 She does awesome alien voices. 137 00:06:09,176 --> 00:06:12,032 Thanks, sweetheart. 138 00:06:16,286 --> 00:06:17,473 Hello? 139 00:06:17,738 --> 00:06:20,352 Oh, yeah. Hi, Dr. Shiller. 140 00:06:20,837 --> 00:06:22,772 Okay, that's my white blood count. 141 00:06:22,776 --> 00:06:24,840 Uh-huh, but as long as it's higher than 4.0, 142 00:06:24,848 --> 00:06:27,390 that means I don't have neutropenia, right? 143 00:06:27,966 --> 00:06:29,770 Well, that's great. 144 00:06:30,165 --> 00:06:31,612 Thanks for calling. 145 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,079 Yeah, you, too. Bye. 146 00:06:37,975 --> 00:06:38,967 What? 147 00:06:39,249 --> 00:06:41,591 You can't talk about doctors up here. 148 00:06:41,728 --> 00:06:43,190 Or about being sick. 149 00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:45,552 If you do, you have to go. That's the rule. 150 00:06:47,996 --> 00:06:50,863 Well... that's a good rule. 151 00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:53,672 Although it wasn't bad news. It was actually... 152 00:06:53,678 --> 00:06:57,521 Doesn't matter. We voted. It's a rule. 153 00:06:58,477 --> 00:06:59,503 Got it. 154 00:06:59,548 --> 00:07:01,953 Sick talk done, okay? 155 00:07:02,408 --> 00:07:04,120 You guys have fun. 156 00:07:05,335 --> 00:07:07,630 Freeze power. Do over, Parker. 157 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,671 That guy doesn't have freezing power. 158 00:07:09,707 --> 00:07:12,600 If his guy can fly, my guy can freeze. 159 00:07:13,835 --> 00:07:15,631 Hi. It's Mrs. Hodge. 160 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,232 May I please speak with Danielle? 161 00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:20,232 - Muffins. - Hands off. 162 00:07:20,266 --> 00:07:21,910 We're bringing these to Danielle for her birthday. 163 00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:24,471 What do you mean, she's gone? 164 00:07:24,898 --> 00:07:26,450 And you believed her? 165 00:07:27,315 --> 00:07:28,480 You idiot! 166 00:07:28,486 --> 00:07:31,361 I should sue your irresponsible ass off for this. 167 00:07:31,457 --> 00:07:34,471 Yeah, well, good day to you, too, reverend mother! 168 00:07:34,476 --> 00:07:35,342 What happened? 169 00:07:35,435 --> 00:07:36,831 Those stupid nones at the convent 170 00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:38,731 let Danielle's grandmother kidnap her. 171 00:07:38,738 --> 00:07:41,700 She claimed I'd given her permission for a weekend visit. 172 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,001 Phyllis! It's me. 173 00:07:46,137 --> 00:07:48,003 You can screen your calls all you want to, 174 00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:50,741 but trust me, old woman, you are in a world of trouble. 175 00:07:50,777 --> 00:07:53,243 I know where you live, and I am coming for you. 176 00:07:53,245 --> 00:07:54,701 Shouldn't we be worried? 177 00:07:54,705 --> 00:07:56,900 No, I think we're ready for her. 178 00:07:56,905 --> 00:07:59,782 Now show me again how you kill the zombies. 179 00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:05,703 Why can't I go? I play golf. 180 00:08:07,565 --> 00:08:10,543 And I'd love to meet your... college buddies. 181 00:08:10,716 --> 00:08:11,791 Edie... 182 00:08:11,797 --> 00:08:14,471 Me and the guys have only two rules for these weekends: 183 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,932 no plaid pants and no women. 184 00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:19,542 Fine. Be that way. 185 00:08:20,168 --> 00:08:23,602 And to think, I got you a gift. 186 00:08:27,918 --> 00:08:30,273 Hey, golf balls. 187 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,083 They're monogrammed. 188 00:08:32,365 --> 00:08:34,272 Wait. These are your initials. 189 00:08:34,276 --> 00:08:35,492 Exactly. 190 00:08:35,588 --> 00:08:37,332 While you're out there playing, 191 00:08:37,538 --> 00:08:41,851 I want everyone to know who your balls belong to. 192 00:08:51,916 --> 00:08:54,273 Good work, boys, but I have to head out in a few minutes, 193 00:08:54,275 --> 00:08:57,801 so make sure you put all the stuff back in the garage. 194 00:08:58,558 --> 00:08:59,412 Hello? 195 00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:00,953 Hey, on my way. 196 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,500 Meet you at the hotel, okay? 197 00:09:02,547 --> 00:09:05,142 I'm leaving in five minutes. 198 00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:14,490 Uh, Brett, 199 00:09:14,498 --> 00:09:16,161 could you come here a second? 200 00:09:18,077 --> 00:09:20,200 How long has that van been parked over there? 201 00:09:20,205 --> 00:09:21,533 Couple hours. 202 00:09:21,548 --> 00:09:22,583 Hours? 203 00:09:22,597 --> 00:09:24,822 Are you serious? 204 00:09:24,908 --> 00:09:26,180 Oh, my God... 205 00:09:26,247 --> 00:09:28,863 I think he's just waiting for someone to come home. 206 00:09:28,867 --> 00:09:31,871 Brett, when's the last time a cable guy waited for anyone? 207 00:09:34,295 --> 00:09:36,521 I see a lot of lawn mowing in your future. 208 00:09:36,895 --> 00:09:38,542 Hey, it's me again. 209 00:09:38,568 --> 00:09:41,692 You're not gonna believe this. Before Victor left on his business trip, 210 00:09:41,695 --> 00:09:43,410 he hired someone to tail me. 211 00:09:43,525 --> 00:09:45,081 Oh, man. Should we call this off? 212 00:09:45,088 --> 00:09:46,032 No way! 213 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,071 It's gonna take more than a guy with mini inoculars 214 00:09:48,105 --> 00:09:51,590 and a bag of doughnuts to keep me under lock and key. 215 00:09:51,596 --> 00:09:53,710 I'll be there as soon as I can. 216 00:10:02,347 --> 00:10:04,182 Boys, time to get paid. 217 00:10:05,707 --> 00:10:07,133 Come on, Eddie! 218 00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,510 As soon as we get around the corner, 219 00:10:33,518 --> 00:10:35,810 we're gonna have to adjust this horn. 220 00:10:46,817 --> 00:10:48,220 Gabrielle. 221 00:10:49,047 --> 00:10:50,022 Hey. 222 00:10:50,977 --> 00:10:52,730 Hi... 223 00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:56,542 Look at you. What a surprise. 224 00:10:58,108 --> 00:11:00,742 Oh, uh, this is Gaby. This is my wife Tammy. 225 00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:02,593 Tammy, this is Gabrielle. 226 00:11:02,686 --> 00:11:04,843 Wow, look at you. 227 00:11:04,848 --> 00:11:06,143 Congratulations. 228 00:11:06,155 --> 00:11:08,811 Thanks. It wasn't planned. 229 00:11:10,355 --> 00:11:12,302 Okay. So... 230 00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:14,482 Are you guys staying here? 231 00:11:14,578 --> 00:11:16,490 No, we just came for some lunch. 232 00:11:16,578 --> 00:11:18,062 Daddy owns this place. 233 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,301 That's right. You're a hotel heiress. 234 00:11:20,315 --> 00:11:23,471 Yeah, but not one of the skanky ones. 235 00:11:23,607 --> 00:11:26,041 How do you two know each other? 236 00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:28,892 I used to be Gabrielle's gardener. 237 00:11:30,176 --> 00:11:34,031 Well, as you can see, he's certainly married up from lawn boy. 238 00:11:34,035 --> 00:11:35,963 - Tammy. - What? 239 00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:37,922 Forget it. 240 00:11:38,626 --> 00:11:40,723 So I heard you married the mayor. 241 00:11:40,985 --> 00:11:43,041 You're married to Victor Lang? 242 00:11:43,156 --> 00:11:45,130 He and Daddy go hunting together. 243 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,380 I told John if he would just be nicer to Daddy, 244 00:11:47,388 --> 00:11:49,403 he could hang out with people like the mayor 245 00:11:49,406 --> 00:11:51,231 and make important contacts. 246 00:11:51,237 --> 00:11:53,500 And I keep telling you that I don't need 247 00:11:53,508 --> 00:11:55,880 to kiss your father's ass to have a career. 248 00:11:56,676 --> 00:11:59,173 Uh, yeah, so I married the mayor. 249 00:11:59,105 --> 00:12:00,230 Kooky, huh? 250 00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:03,230 So, um, is he here with you? 251 00:12:03,507 --> 00:12:06,760 Uh, no. He's away at a conference, 252 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:10,461 so I decided to treat myself to a spa weekend. 253 00:12:10,925 --> 00:12:13,193 You should definitely get full body massage. 254 00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:17,741 Oh, I plan to. 255 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,431 Good to see you. 256 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:20,842 You, too, Gaby. 257 00:12:23,406 --> 00:12:25,083 Sorry about that. 258 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,660 A complete shock. I mean, of all people to run into. 259 00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:29,350 Who were they? 260 00:12:32,558 --> 00:12:34,961 Just an old friend and his idiot wife. 261 00:12:35,496 --> 00:12:37,250 Come on. Let's go. 262 00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:40,461 Bree. 263 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,843 How lovely to see you. 264 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,240 Cram it, Phyllis. 265 00:12:44,585 --> 00:12:48,380 You got a lot of nerve stealing Danielle from a convent we prepaid for. 266 00:12:48,717 --> 00:12:50,283 She didn't steal me. 267 00:12:50,398 --> 00:12:53,133 I'm a mature person capable of making my own decisions. 268 00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:54,772 Well, good. You can decide to pack, 269 00:12:54,806 --> 00:12:57,053 because we are taking you back to the convent. 270 00:12:57,876 --> 00:12:59,143 I'm turning 18 this weekend, 271 00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:01,021 so you can't boss me around anymore. 272 00:13:01,245 --> 00:13:02,241 I'm staying with grandma, 273 00:13:02,255 --> 00:13:03,661 and I'm gonna have my baby delivered here. 274 00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:06,163 We have an excellent medical staff. 275 00:13:06,246 --> 00:13:07,611 It's a retirement village. 276 00:13:07,618 --> 00:13:10,032 All these doctors know how to deliver is bad news. 277 00:13:10,196 --> 00:13:11,952 I don't care. I'm staying, 278 00:13:12,176 --> 00:13:14,390 and I'm gonna raise the baby here, too. 279 00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:16,850 - What? - Entirely her idea. 280 00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:19,401 A baby is God's most precious gift. 281 00:13:19,405 --> 00:13:20,972 I will not have mine raised 282 00:13:20,975 --> 00:13:23,811 by a cold, emotionally unavailable woman like you. 283 00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:24,932 "Emotionally unavailable." 284 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,690 Gosh, I wonder where she picked up that little phrase. 285 00:13:29,157 --> 00:13:31,431 Like I'm too dumb to think of it myself? 286 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:34,780 You're always mean to me, just like you were to Dad. 287 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,792 You emasculated him. 288 00:13:36,905 --> 00:13:38,851 Well, you're not gonna emasculate me. 289 00:13:38,987 --> 00:13:41,020 You don't even know what that means, you... 290 00:13:41,027 --> 00:13:42,862 petulant sock puppet! 291 00:13:42,885 --> 00:13:44,893 Who cares? 292 00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:47,242 I'm going to the store. 293 00:13:49,848 --> 00:13:51,752 Buy a dictionary. 294 00:13:53,497 --> 00:13:56,242 So that's all settled. 295 00:13:56,906 --> 00:13:59,342 Would you like some iced tea? 296 00:14:08,877 --> 00:14:10,801 You aren't joining the Lynch Mob? 297 00:14:10,807 --> 00:14:13,400 Uh, you mean Katherine's homeowners thing? 298 00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:14,903 I think I'll sit this one out. 299 00:14:14,908 --> 00:14:17,850 No no no. You can't do that. You've got to pick a side. 300 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:18,862 Art... 301 00:14:18,865 --> 00:14:20,503 or mindless conformity? 302 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,782 See, this is one of the upsides of having cancer. 303 00:14:23,785 --> 00:14:26,473 You get to excuse yourself from petty neighborhood squabbles. 304 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,352 You won't think they're so petty when she comes after you. 305 00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:30,720 Me? 306 00:14:30,727 --> 00:14:32,071 Why would she do that? 307 00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:35,131 Did the homeowners' association approve everything in your yard? 308 00:14:35,137 --> 00:14:37,182 The fence? That swing? 309 00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:38,991 The tree house? 310 00:14:39,876 --> 00:14:42,561 I don't think Katherine will bother herself over a tree house. 311 00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:44,371 First, they came for the fountains, 312 00:14:44,526 --> 00:14:46,641 and I did not speak out because I had no fountain. 313 00:14:47,688 --> 00:14:48,380 What? 314 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,681 Then they came for the lawn gnomes, 315 00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:52,030 and I did not speak out because I had no gnome. 316 00:14:52,196 --> 00:14:54,030 You're comparing Katherine to a nazi? 317 00:14:54,035 --> 00:14:55,941 Then they came for my tree house, 318 00:14:56,056 --> 00:14:58,961 and there was no one left to speak out for me. 319 00:15:03,015 --> 00:15:05,960 Thank you, ladies. I so appreciate your input, 320 00:15:05,966 --> 00:15:07,980 and I think we can all agree 321 00:15:07,985 --> 00:15:11,200 that the fountain has no place on our street. 322 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:12,143 Yeah... 323 00:15:12,156 --> 00:15:15,721 We gotta show those gays we mean business. 324 00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:16,983 Ida... 325 00:15:17,135 --> 00:15:20,390 Again, the issue is not Bob and Lee being gay. 326 00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:21,772 It's the fountain. 327 00:15:22,075 --> 00:15:24,460 Well, can't it be both? 328 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,373 Anyway... 329 00:15:27,765 --> 00:15:29,560 If you elect me president, 330 00:15:29,565 --> 00:15:34,443 my first act will be to eliminate this so-called work of art. 331 00:15:34,457 --> 00:15:36,151 Hear, hear. 332 00:15:37,347 --> 00:15:38,240 Yes, Lynette. 333 00:15:38,247 --> 00:15:40,973 After you get rid of this fountain, that's it, right? 334 00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:42,732 I don't follow. 335 00:15:42,738 --> 00:15:43,962 I mean... 336 00:15:44,038 --> 00:15:47,982 You're not gonna start checking everyone's yards for things that don't fit in? 337 00:15:48,097 --> 00:15:50,291 Oh, of course not. 338 00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:53,270 As long as those things meet the association's guidelines. 339 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,842 And what if they don't? 340 00:15:57,368 --> 00:15:59,283 Are you referring to something in particular? 341 00:15:59,637 --> 00:16:01,221 My kids' tree house. 342 00:16:01,288 --> 00:16:03,151 Can you promise you'll leave it alone? 343 00:16:03,186 --> 00:16:05,052 Well, it's not up to me. 344 00:16:05,116 --> 00:16:07,722 That's the whole point. There are rules. 345 00:16:07,725 --> 00:16:09,500 That sounds like a no. 346 00:16:09,795 --> 00:16:11,221 If I make an exception for you, 347 00:16:11,226 --> 00:16:13,032 then I have to make one for everyone. 348 00:16:13,287 --> 00:16:15,220 And surely, you realize that the whole neighborhood 349 00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:18,081 can't revolve around your little tree house. 350 00:16:19,356 --> 00:16:20,920 Now since I am running unopposed, 351 00:16:20,968 --> 00:16:23,761 I just need someone to second my nomination. 352 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:29,293 Thank you, Lynette. 353 00:16:29,585 --> 00:16:30,521 No... 354 00:16:30,595 --> 00:16:34,362 Actually, I'm nominating myself. I am now running for president... 355 00:16:35,305 --> 00:16:37,021 against you. 356 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,353 You know, running for president in your condition? 357 00:16:47,647 --> 00:16:49,062 I don't think it's a good idea. 358 00:16:49,086 --> 00:16:51,571 Tom, I don't want your opinion, just your vote. 359 00:16:51,738 --> 00:16:53,272 If you want to save the tree house, 360 00:16:53,336 --> 00:16:55,030 why don't you let me run instead? 361 00:16:55,105 --> 00:16:58,933 Because You'd never win. Bossy women rule this street. You know that. 362 00:16:59,505 --> 00:17:01,222 I know one rules my life. 363 00:17:01,745 --> 00:17:03,162 I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. 364 00:17:03,677 --> 00:17:04,610 Nothing. 365 00:17:05,498 --> 00:17:09,831 Look, this is not just about a tree house or a fountain. This is about... 366 00:17:10,075 --> 00:17:12,031 what kind of neighborhood we want to live in. 367 00:17:12,037 --> 00:17:16,290 Do we get to make our own choices, or do we let the taste police make them for us? 368 00:17:16,957 --> 00:17:20,692 Now I get it. This about you wanting to take on Katherine. 369 00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:23,993 No! This is about personal freedom. 370 00:17:24,215 --> 00:17:25,972 Specifically, my personal freedom 371 00:17:25,975 --> 00:17:28,572 to take down that jackbood hausfrau. 372 00:17:28,607 --> 00:17:30,532 Honey, if you're looking for something to fight, 373 00:17:30,826 --> 00:17:32,002 how about your cancer? 374 00:17:32,055 --> 00:17:33,332 Hey, a tumor is a tumor, 375 00:17:33,348 --> 00:17:37,241 whether it's in your body or living across the street. 376 00:17:42,425 --> 00:17:45,371 I don't know why you buy those things. They just end up on the floor. 377 00:17:45,485 --> 00:17:48,832 Because I want to feel pretty and feminine. 378 00:17:50,317 --> 00:17:52,440 My chili cheese fries! 379 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:53,603 Just a second! 380 00:17:53,608 --> 00:17:54,882 Gabrielle? 381 00:17:54,887 --> 00:17:56,383 It's me, John. 382 00:17:57,498 --> 00:17:58,302 John? 383 00:17:58,308 --> 00:17:59,911 John who? 384 00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:03,762 Uh, okay. 385 00:18:04,077 --> 00:18:06,351 You know that old friend I ran into in the lobby? 386 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,860 It might have been John Rowland. 387 00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:10,582 Maybe. 388 00:18:10,587 --> 00:18:12,152 I'm not sure. 389 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,450 Gabrielle? 390 00:18:13,696 --> 00:18:16,223 Just to be safe, you may wanna hide in the closet. 391 00:18:16,227 --> 00:18:18,142 What? I'm not hiding from that guy. 392 00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:19,082 Really? 393 00:18:19,085 --> 00:18:21,423 Because his father-in-law goes hunting with Victor. 394 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,181 You know, the guy who hired someone 395 00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:25,162 to tail us and possibly kill us? 396 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,353 John, what are you doing here? 397 00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:39,322 When I ran into you last fall, 398 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:42,143 you wanted to start up our affair again, and I wasn't ready. 399 00:18:42,487 --> 00:18:45,093 Well, I'm ready. 400 00:18:55,236 --> 00:18:56,291 Hey. 401 00:18:56,485 --> 00:18:59,290 Listen, I promised Tom I wouldn't knock myself out 402 00:18:59,327 --> 00:19:02,111 campaigning for this homeowners thing, 403 00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:04,401 so I was hoping you could help me. 404 00:19:04,437 --> 00:19:07,292 You know, ring some bells, talk me up, 405 00:19:07,308 --> 00:19:08,722 that sort of thing? 406 00:19:08,726 --> 00:19:10,893 I would love to, but... 407 00:19:11,578 --> 00:19:12,943 But what? 408 00:19:14,017 --> 00:19:15,852 This is awkward. 409 00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:18,090 I told Katherine I'd vote for her. 410 00:19:18,095 --> 00:19:19,383 You're picking her over me? 411 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:23,331 It's not like I'm pro-Katherine. I'm just anti-fountain. 412 00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:27,352 Oh, don't give me that look. I made her a promise. 413 00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:30,890 Yes, but that was before your best friend threw her scarf in the ring. 414 00:19:33,778 --> 00:19:36,273 Okay. If I vote for you, 415 00:19:36,277 --> 00:19:37,623 do you promise to get rid of that fountain? 416 00:19:37,655 --> 00:19:39,581 See, that's awkward for me. 417 00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:42,270 This is about personal freedom. You know? 418 00:19:42,308 --> 00:19:43,731 I'm running as a libertarian. 419 00:19:43,777 --> 00:19:47,452 Well, I'm voting as a light sleeper. It's right outside our bedroom window. 420 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:50,011 Seriously, Lynette, it's like living next to splash mountain. 421 00:19:50,488 --> 00:19:52,701 But it's my kids' tree house. They really need it. 422 00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:54,101 Well, we need our sleep. 423 00:19:54,108 --> 00:19:58,623 - Why don't you get earplugs? - Why don't you get... tree house plugs? 424 00:19:59,176 --> 00:20:01,000 What? That doesn't even make sense. 425 00:20:01,086 --> 00:20:04,521 Yeah, I'm sorry. You know, tired people aren't witty. 426 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,943 Seriously, John, you have got to get out of here. 427 00:20:10,297 --> 00:20:12,121 Please. I need to be with you. 428 00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:13,643 What about your wife? 429 00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:16,131 You met her. She's dumb, demanding, 430 00:20:16,138 --> 00:20:18,313 totally self-centered, especially in bed. 431 00:20:18,598 --> 00:20:20,920 - I mean, she's awful. - Awfully pregnant. 432 00:20:21,135 --> 00:20:23,232 I know, I'm completely trapped. 433 00:20:23,585 --> 00:20:25,523 Just like you were with Mr. Solis. 434 00:20:26,987 --> 00:20:29,752 - I wasn't "trapped." - What do you mean? 435 00:20:29,857 --> 00:20:32,262 All you'd ever talk about was what a selfish pig he was. 436 00:20:33,806 --> 00:20:35,361 Well, I think you're paraphrasing. 437 00:20:35,597 --> 00:20:37,222 Okay, seriously, you have to go. 438 00:20:37,258 --> 00:20:39,681 Come on. You know it could be hot, 439 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,630 just like the old times. 440 00:20:41,977 --> 00:20:43,520 Remember how great our sex was? 441 00:20:43,527 --> 00:20:45,602 Oh, I don't think we need to get into that. 442 00:20:45,807 --> 00:20:48,143 What about the time we were doing in the shower? 443 00:20:49,237 --> 00:20:52,363 - Mr. Solis drove up? - Does not ring a bell. 444 00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:54,642 Come on. And I hid the closet? 445 00:20:54,668 --> 00:20:56,003 And you looked so hot, 446 00:20:56,036 --> 00:20:58,081 Mr. Solis pulled you down on the bed. 447 00:21:00,235 --> 00:21:02,992 And you had to fake an orgasm just so he wouldn't catch on. 448 00:21:05,078 --> 00:21:06,722 Yeah, good times. 449 00:21:07,168 --> 00:21:09,872 Anyways, that's a negatory on the affair. 450 00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:11,983 And I will see you later. 451 00:21:12,057 --> 00:21:14,100 Come on, but we're so good together. 452 00:21:20,606 --> 00:21:22,752 Boy, that was a close one, huh? 453 00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:29,893 You faked it with me while that wax job was hiding in the closet? 454 00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:32,780 Yes, I had an affair. Old news. Move on. 455 00:21:33,635 --> 00:21:34,823 Where's that room service? 456 00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:38,112 So you're not gonna apologize for humiliating me in my own bed? 457 00:21:38,348 --> 00:21:39,691 You deserved it. 458 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,783 All you cared about back then was work. 459 00:21:41,975 --> 00:21:43,582 Hey, I was not that bad of a husband, 460 00:21:43,987 --> 00:21:46,440 and somebody had to support your italian shoe addiction. 461 00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:48,880 I shopped because I was bored and lonely. 462 00:21:49,087 --> 00:21:50,383 Same reason I had an affair. 463 00:21:50,386 --> 00:21:51,992 Yeah, with our teenage gardener! 464 00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:54,270 I should have snapped that kid's neck two years ago. 465 00:21:54,545 --> 00:21:56,043 Oh, let it go! 466 00:21:56,237 --> 00:21:59,181 John Rowland didn't do anything to you that you're not doing to Victor. 467 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:02,701 You can't even compare the two! It's completely different! 468 00:22:03,028 --> 00:22:04,990 Is it, Mr. Man in the closet? 469 00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:08,013 Yeah, you heard me. 470 00:22:08,415 --> 00:22:10,313 Who's John Rowland now? 471 00:22:20,357 --> 00:22:21,900 Katherine, what are you up to? 472 00:22:21,997 --> 00:22:23,611 Just visiting a friend. 473 00:22:23,616 --> 00:22:24,690 Liar. 474 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:28,433 You're campaigning. Cookies, nice touch. 475 00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:30,861 Ditto on the scarf. 476 00:22:35,447 --> 00:22:37,210 Edie, you got a moment? 477 00:22:37,677 --> 00:22:40,132 I am running for president of the homeowners' association, 478 00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:42,812 and I want to talk to you about that horrible fountain. 479 00:22:43,626 --> 00:22:45,900 Screw the fountain. You want my support? 480 00:22:46,256 --> 00:22:48,872 Make Ida Greenberg ditch that screen door. 481 00:22:49,325 --> 00:22:51,191 That rusty, old tetanus bucket... 482 00:22:51,198 --> 00:22:53,492 Looks fine to me. It's hardly ripped at all. 483 00:22:53,668 --> 00:22:55,523 In fact, if you give me your support... 484 00:22:55,526 --> 00:22:58,130 I'll make Mrs. Burkette prune those roses. 485 00:22:58,135 --> 00:23:01,811 It's a garden, not a jungle, and you shouldn't have to... 486 00:23:01,816 --> 00:23:03,531 Pay for a fence you don't even want. 487 00:23:03,537 --> 00:23:05,420 That's not how you make good neighbors, 488 00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:06,572 and I don't care if... 489 00:23:06,607 --> 00:23:08,933 The Mustafas don't celebrate Christmas. 490 00:23:08,936 --> 00:23:11,842 You're asking them to hang a few lights, not convert. 491 00:23:12,115 --> 00:23:13,820 When I'm president, I promise... 492 00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:15,733 You can keep that satellite dish. 493 00:23:15,736 --> 00:23:18,480 In fact, this is practically a first amendment issue. 494 00:23:18,517 --> 00:23:19,800 The way I see it... 495 00:23:19,808 --> 00:23:23,962 The entire neighborhood should be a testament to symmetry and beauty. 496 00:23:24,767 --> 00:23:26,911 - So... - Have I got your vote? 497 00:23:27,965 --> 00:23:29,210 I'm not sure yet. 498 00:23:29,606 --> 00:23:30,870 Keep rubbing. 499 00:23:42,598 --> 00:23:44,793 Bree, I know you're upset, but you've got to eat. 500 00:23:45,217 --> 00:23:46,793 I'm just so mad at myself. 501 00:23:47,798 --> 00:23:51,151 I should have realized that the maternal instinct is so strong 502 00:23:51,156 --> 00:23:53,272 that even Danielle would develop it. 503 00:23:57,337 --> 00:23:58,472 What's so funny? 504 00:23:59,186 --> 00:24:01,150 You know those animals who eat their young? 505 00:24:01,327 --> 00:24:03,701 Even they have more maternal instinct than Danielle. 506 00:24:03,937 --> 00:24:05,753 Then why would she want the child? 507 00:24:05,835 --> 00:24:07,481 You've known her how long, and you still haven't 508 00:24:07,515 --> 00:24:10,032 figured out how that lentil she calls brain works? 509 00:24:10,147 --> 00:24:11,570 There's no need to insult your sister. 510 00:24:11,947 --> 00:24:12,832 Let him talk. 511 00:24:12,956 --> 00:24:15,742 All right, Danielle cares about three things. 512 00:24:16,217 --> 00:24:19,622 Danielle, fun, and... 513 00:24:21,186 --> 00:24:22,660 Wait. I was wrong. It's just two. 514 00:24:23,897 --> 00:24:25,862 And a retirement village is fun? 515 00:24:26,038 --> 00:24:27,430 Compared to what you're offering her. 516 00:24:27,555 --> 00:24:30,363 A crappy job and community college. 517 00:24:30,598 --> 00:24:32,270 I mean, you think Grandma's gonna make her do any of that? 518 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:33,850 So Danielle's only doing this 519 00:24:33,855 --> 00:24:35,903 because Phyllis is offering her a cushy life? 520 00:24:35,985 --> 00:24:36,890 Yeah. 521 00:24:37,248 --> 00:24:38,781 If you want that baby, 522 00:24:39,397 --> 00:24:41,320 you're gonna have to outbid grandma. 523 00:24:53,037 --> 00:24:54,152 What are you doing here? 524 00:24:54,566 --> 00:24:55,733 Hi, John. 525 00:24:56,568 --> 00:24:57,853 I wanted to talk to you. 526 00:24:59,407 --> 00:25:01,240 It'll be very friendly. No hitting. 527 00:25:08,737 --> 00:25:09,691 What's up? 528 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,543 This is gonna sound weird, but, uh, 529 00:25:11,588 --> 00:25:13,290 I've been doing some thinking lately, 530 00:25:14,038 --> 00:25:15,540 and, well, 531 00:25:16,695 --> 00:25:19,162 I've decided that it's time for me to forgive you. 532 00:25:22,295 --> 00:25:23,721 For sleeping with my wife. 533 00:25:26,537 --> 00:25:28,191 Yeah, well, I didn't just sleep with Gaby. 534 00:25:29,767 --> 00:25:31,252 I fell in love with her. 535 00:25:34,988 --> 00:25:36,511 I forgive you for that, too. 536 00:25:39,258 --> 00:25:40,600 Why are you doing this? 537 00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:43,451 You're in some kind of 12-step program? 538 00:25:46,398 --> 00:25:48,870 Let's just say I've recently learned how loving someone 539 00:25:48,875 --> 00:25:51,490 makes you forget the difference between right and wrong. 540 00:25:57,435 --> 00:25:59,580 Anyway, that's pretty much it. I should go. 541 00:26:00,567 --> 00:26:01,412 Hey. 542 00:26:03,558 --> 00:26:05,292 Do you still talk to Gabrielle? 543 00:26:05,875 --> 00:26:07,643 Occasionally. Why? 544 00:26:08,975 --> 00:26:10,943 I just want to know if she was happy. 545 00:26:13,016 --> 00:26:14,192 I think she is. 546 00:26:17,395 --> 00:26:18,381 Well... 547 00:26:20,368 --> 00:26:21,613 Good for her. 548 00:26:29,137 --> 00:26:30,661 All right, before we vote, 549 00:26:30,668 --> 00:26:33,503 are there any more questions for the candidates? 550 00:26:34,498 --> 00:26:35,902 Anybody besides Lee? 551 00:26:36,197 --> 00:26:37,531 It's not a question. 552 00:26:37,668 --> 00:26:39,651 I just want to remind everyone that a vote for Katherine 553 00:26:39,657 --> 00:26:41,353 is a vote for fascism. 554 00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:45,541 What is it with you gay people and clothes? 555 00:26:46,456 --> 00:26:48,431 Fascism, Ida, not fashion. 556 00:26:49,276 --> 00:26:51,910 Although if you ever do want to talk fashion, 557 00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,082 we're here for you. 558 00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:56,091 All right, debate's over. 559 00:26:56,176 --> 00:26:59,180 Let's kick this pig. All in favor of Lynette. 560 00:27:06,728 --> 00:27:09,400 Okay, and those for Katherine? 561 00:27:16,536 --> 00:27:18,750 That's 14 for Lynette and 14 for Katherine. 562 00:27:18,988 --> 00:27:21,103 So what do we do? It's a tie. 563 00:27:22,615 --> 00:27:23,853 No, it's not. 564 00:27:23,877 --> 00:27:25,821 Susan voted twice. 565 00:27:29,785 --> 00:27:30,820 Did I? 566 00:27:31,455 --> 00:27:33,253 Well, that's obvusly wrong. 567 00:27:34,315 --> 00:27:36,723 You only get one vote, sweet cheeks. Who's it gonna be? 568 00:27:51,667 --> 00:27:53,420 Susan, we're waiting. 569 00:27:54,176 --> 00:27:55,643 It's up to you, hon. 570 00:28:00,416 --> 00:28:01,411 Katherine. 571 00:28:03,845 --> 00:28:06,460 Okay, it's official. Katherine is our new president. 572 00:28:09,745 --> 00:28:12,022 Thank you. Thank you, everyone, 573 00:28:12,025 --> 00:28:15,053 and I promise to do my best for this neiborhood. 574 00:28:15,388 --> 00:28:17,780 And, Bob, Lee, Mr. Mustafa, 575 00:28:17,788 --> 00:28:20,251 I'll be in touch regarding your various infractions. 576 00:28:21,108 --> 00:28:22,501 And you, too, Lynette. 577 00:28:25,765 --> 00:28:26,930 Meeting adjourned. 578 00:28:49,136 --> 00:28:50,211 You know, Phyllis, 579 00:28:50,216 --> 00:28:52,970 we cannot thank you enough for accepting our apology. 580 00:28:53,745 --> 00:28:56,943 Well, I think we should try to stay on good terms 581 00:28:56,945 --> 00:28:58,991 for Danielle's sake. 582 00:28:59,948 --> 00:29:02,902 I'm glad you suggested that we eat out here. 583 00:29:02,928 --> 00:29:05,070 I never think to do this. 584 00:29:05,208 --> 00:29:07,592 Oh, darn, I forgot the napkins. 585 00:29:07,617 --> 00:29:08,790 No problem. 586 00:29:09,135 --> 00:29:10,740 I'll go get some. 587 00:29:13,845 --> 00:29:15,883 So now that we have a moment alone, 588 00:29:15,885 --> 00:29:18,870 your mother and I would like to say how proud we are of you. 589 00:29:19,605 --> 00:29:20,671 Yeah, right. 590 00:29:20,778 --> 00:29:24,101 Seriously, we hadn't realized you'd matured enough 591 00:29:24,105 --> 00:29:26,810 to take a burden as a motherhood all by yourself. 592 00:29:27,395 --> 00:29:29,071 Well, grandma's gonna help. 593 00:29:29,208 --> 00:29:31,760 She'll do what she can, but you mustn't overtax her. 594 00:29:31,766 --> 00:29:33,972 Her heart is not very strong. 595 00:29:34,968 --> 00:29:36,592 She seems fine to me. 596 00:29:36,807 --> 00:29:38,010 Well, knock wood. 597 00:29:38,117 --> 00:29:40,322 We'd hate to see you forced to take care of a baby 598 00:29:40,328 --> 00:29:42,111 and a sick old woman. 599 00:29:42,596 --> 00:29:44,422 Whoa! Mah-jongg. 600 00:29:44,716 --> 00:29:46,541 Don't see that much anymore. 601 00:29:53,017 --> 00:29:55,230 Danielle, you should introduce yourself. 602 00:29:55,237 --> 00:29:57,243 These people are your new friends. 603 00:29:57,677 --> 00:30:00,232 And you're going to learn more from their experience and wisdom 604 00:30:00,246 --> 00:30:03,043 than you ever could have learned at that college in Florida. 605 00:30:03,275 --> 00:30:06,663 Wait. I thought I couldn't go there. You said it was just a party school. 606 00:30:06,715 --> 00:30:10,142 Actually, we checked into the curriculum, and it's very strong, but no matter. 607 00:30:10,145 --> 00:30:11,442 You'll be happier here. 608 00:30:11,488 --> 00:30:13,722 Yes, and with a grandmother's unconditional love, 609 00:30:13,757 --> 00:30:16,772 who needs frat boys who only like you for your convertible? 610 00:30:17,536 --> 00:30:19,443 Whoa. When did I get a convertible? 611 00:30:19,566 --> 00:30:22,111 Well, we were gonna surprise you with one for your birthday, 612 00:30:22,126 --> 00:30:25,303 but since you're keeping the baby, you'll want a more practical gift. 613 00:30:25,416 --> 00:30:27,501 We're thinking a diaper service. 614 00:30:28,398 --> 00:30:30,750 Oh, look, they have water aerobics. 615 00:30:35,185 --> 00:30:36,541 You should sign up. 616 00:30:40,747 --> 00:30:43,580 You know, maybe I should go to college. 617 00:30:44,505 --> 00:30:46,031 I mean, for the baby's sake. 618 00:30:46,106 --> 00:30:47,900 How can I support it without a degree? 619 00:30:47,908 --> 00:30:51,301 But you can't raise this child in a Miami dorm room. 620 00:30:52,715 --> 00:30:56,721 You'll need to leave it with someone you can trust to take care of it properly. 621 00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:02,860 Sorry. The elevator's out... 622 00:31:05,475 --> 00:31:07,111 I have to catch my breath. 623 00:31:14,587 --> 00:31:16,952 Grandma? We need to talk. 624 00:31:28,516 --> 00:31:30,861 - What's this? - I thought we might toast my victory. 625 00:31:32,396 --> 00:31:34,011 I'm kind of in the middle of something here. 626 00:31:36,608 --> 00:31:40,473 So... You haven't congratulated me yet. 627 00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:43,080 I know. 628 00:31:44,918 --> 00:31:46,902 Would you like to tell me what's bothering you? 629 00:31:47,357 --> 00:31:50,783 I just want you to think about what you've been doing for the past few days. 630 00:31:51,718 --> 00:31:54,702 You've mounted a crusade against a metal thing that shoots out water. 631 00:31:54,818 --> 00:31:57,162 I'm trying to keep the neighborhood beautiful. 632 00:31:57,168 --> 00:31:59,973 - I love this street. - Yeah, you keep saying that. 633 00:32:00,248 --> 00:32:02,160 How happy you used to be here, 634 00:32:02,255 --> 00:32:03,983 but ever since we've moved back, 635 00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:07,543 all I've seen is an unhappy woman who needs to control everything. 636 00:32:08,195 --> 00:32:12,140 Well, we both know what happens when you lose control. 637 00:32:15,018 --> 00:32:16,400 Chicago again. 638 00:32:17,537 --> 00:32:20,570 Tell you something else we learned there. When the chips are down, 639 00:32:20,786 --> 00:32:22,613 it helps to have friends. 640 00:32:22,976 --> 00:32:25,813 And you certainly haven't made us any lately. 641 00:32:27,267 --> 00:32:28,940 Congratulations. 642 00:32:37,815 --> 00:32:39,930 - Bye, grandma. - Good-bye, dear. 643 00:32:42,257 --> 00:32:44,202 Tell your stepfather I'll be right out. 644 00:32:49,715 --> 00:32:51,512 Oh, please, Phyllis. 645 00:32:51,626 --> 00:32:54,042 Even you have to agree that a girl who'd trade her baby 646 00:32:54,046 --> 00:32:56,401 for a convertible isn't ready for motherhood. 647 00:32:56,476 --> 00:32:59,791 She'd have changed once the baby came. 648 00:33:00,557 --> 00:33:02,391 She's her father's daughter. 649 00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:09,472 That's a nice picture of Rex. 650 00:33:09,677 --> 00:33:11,582 Oh, I have a lot of pictures. 651 00:33:12,626 --> 00:33:14,761 All of the women here do. 652 00:33:16,646 --> 00:33:18,600 They're what we have left of the things 653 00:33:18,648 --> 00:33:20,751 time has taken from us... 654 00:33:24,008 --> 00:33:27,491 Youth, homes and husbands... 655 00:33:28,755 --> 00:33:31,761 and for the unluckiest, children. 656 00:33:33,497 --> 00:33:36,372 I thought I was getting back a part of Rex. 657 00:33:37,397 --> 00:33:38,592 But now... 658 00:33:42,666 --> 00:33:44,281 I know you're lonely, Phyllis, 659 00:33:44,538 --> 00:33:47,052 but I can't give up this child just to make you feel better. 660 00:33:48,358 --> 00:33:49,662 You should go. 661 00:33:49,976 --> 00:33:51,981 Your family's waiting for you. 662 00:34:01,018 --> 00:34:04,512 Orson and I go to our club almost every Saturday night. 663 00:34:04,557 --> 00:34:07,421 If you're... interested in babysitting. 664 00:34:09,097 --> 00:34:10,641 You mean it? 665 00:34:12,936 --> 00:34:15,201 How will you explain me to your friends? 666 00:34:15,808 --> 00:34:17,962 I'll say that you're broke and needed the money. 667 00:34:18,345 --> 00:34:22,043 Can't you just say that you like having me around? 668 00:34:23,496 --> 00:34:25,840 I need something that will fly, Phyllis. 669 00:34:37,287 --> 00:34:38,820 Hey. What's going on? 670 00:34:39,796 --> 00:34:41,100 We need to talk. 671 00:34:43,296 --> 00:34:44,710 So here's the deal. 672 00:34:45,686 --> 00:34:47,571 I think it's time for us to do the right thing. 673 00:34:48,195 --> 00:34:50,073 I don't think I like where this is going. 674 00:34:50,077 --> 00:34:51,963 We have to end this affair. 675 00:34:52,747 --> 00:34:53,780 You serious? 676 00:34:53,828 --> 00:34:56,581 All this... Sneaking around, 677 00:34:56,997 --> 00:35:00,482 wearing disguises, hiding in closets, it's just wrong. 678 00:35:00,877 --> 00:35:02,151 We're better than this. 679 00:35:02,155 --> 00:35:04,941 So what are you suggesting, we stay with Victor and Edie? 680 00:35:05,138 --> 00:35:07,082 No, we break up with them. 681 00:35:07,997 --> 00:35:10,392 Look, it'll hurt, but at least it's honest. 682 00:35:10,935 --> 00:35:12,833 And then when enough time has gone by, 683 00:35:12,845 --> 00:35:14,842 and they've moved on, we can be together. 684 00:35:15,496 --> 00:35:17,331 How long are we talking about? 685 00:35:17,756 --> 00:35:20,283 - I don't know. Six months? - Six months? 686 00:35:20,688 --> 00:35:22,610 Nobody takes that long to heal anymore. 687 00:35:22,656 --> 00:35:24,642 It's a breakup, not a face-lift. 688 00:35:25,228 --> 00:35:27,341 Hey, look, I want us to be together, too, 689 00:35:27,348 --> 00:35:29,431 but I also wanna feel good about it. 690 00:35:30,435 --> 00:35:31,582 Don't you? 691 00:35:34,167 --> 00:35:35,933 Yeah. I do. 692 00:35:38,985 --> 00:35:41,162 You're such a good guy, Carlos. 693 00:35:41,627 --> 00:35:43,173 I really hate that about you. 694 00:35:44,587 --> 00:35:45,722 I know. 695 00:35:47,118 --> 00:35:50,561 So... I guess this is it. 696 00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:56,453 This kiss has to last six months. 697 00:35:57,188 --> 00:35:58,881 You better make it good. 698 00:36:15,187 --> 00:36:17,671 His guy can fly. My guy freeze. 699 00:36:22,586 --> 00:36:23,892 Hey, Lynette. 700 00:36:24,227 --> 00:36:25,630 Hey, Judas. 701 00:36:26,595 --> 00:36:29,272 Okay, fine. You're still angry, but I'm gonna make it up to you. 702 00:36:29,277 --> 00:36:30,752 When they come after that tree house, 703 00:36:30,765 --> 00:36:33,640 they're going to have one Susan Mayer chained to it. 704 00:36:33,877 --> 00:36:36,871 Don't do that. I wanna be sad when they knock it down. 705 00:36:37,287 --> 00:36:38,670 - Lynette! - What? 706 00:36:38,767 --> 00:36:42,072 You think you just can walk over here and cute your way out of what you did? 707 00:36:42,077 --> 00:36:44,363 - We're supposed to be friends. - Exactly, 708 00:36:44,365 --> 00:36:47,160 and friends don't put friends in this kind of position. 709 00:36:47,367 --> 00:36:51,350 I love you, but you can't ask me to put your kids ahead of my husband. 710 00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:56,633 You're right. I shouldn't have done that. 711 00:36:59,908 --> 00:37:02,771 But that tree house is the one place my kids can go 712 00:37:02,776 --> 00:37:07,083 and not hear about body scans and white blood cell counts. 713 00:37:07,448 --> 00:37:09,801 It is their getaway... 714 00:37:10,308 --> 00:37:13,000 from this horrible thing that I've brought into the house. 715 00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:15,351 "Brought"? Sweetie, 716 00:37:15,367 --> 00:37:17,330 it's not your fault that you're sick. 717 00:37:17,606 --> 00:37:19,802 I know that... here. 718 00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:24,571 But here... it feels like I've ruined their childhood. 719 00:37:27,248 --> 00:37:30,653 Okay, if anybody needs me, I'll be at the hardware store buying chains. 720 00:37:31,075 --> 00:37:32,771 Jeez. Get over here. 721 00:37:33,998 --> 00:37:35,500 Hello there! 722 00:37:37,417 --> 00:37:40,051 Oh, look it's our new queen, Katherine of arrogant. 723 00:37:41,046 --> 00:37:42,740 Hey, where's the wrecking ball? 724 00:37:42,948 --> 00:37:45,503 Actually, I came to tell you the tree house can stay. 725 00:37:45,816 --> 00:37:47,363 Oh, my God. That's great! 726 00:37:47,658 --> 00:37:49,673 Yes. If anyone complains, 727 00:37:49,677 --> 00:37:53,400 we'll say it was grandfathered in under the previous administration. 728 00:37:56,248 --> 00:37:58,571 Thanks. Why? 729 00:38:00,076 --> 00:38:03,420 Clearly, it means a lot to you, and I wanna be a good neighbor. 730 00:38:05,607 --> 00:38:06,761 Katherine. 731 00:38:08,038 --> 00:38:10,651 What's with you? Sometimes you act like an ice queen, 732 00:38:10,657 --> 00:38:12,762 and then you do something really nice. 733 00:38:14,157 --> 00:38:16,073 You are one complicated lady. 734 00:38:17,238 --> 00:38:20,152 Well, I've had one complicated life. 735 00:38:27,118 --> 00:38:28,932 I've had a lot of men in my life, 736 00:38:29,965 --> 00:38:32,230 but I never let myself fall in love before. 737 00:38:33,525 --> 00:38:36,330 I thought it was because I didn't wanna get hurt, 738 00:38:37,577 --> 00:38:41,332 but now I know the pain you feel isn't the worst part. 739 00:38:43,078 --> 00:38:44,460 It's the hate. 740 00:38:46,987 --> 00:38:48,771 Could you make it out to "cash"? 741 00:39:04,295 --> 00:39:05,481 Hello, Katherine. 742 00:39:05,736 --> 00:39:07,121 You here about the fountain? 743 00:39:07,355 --> 00:39:09,713 Yes, but don't worry. There's no strict deadline. 744 00:39:09,718 --> 00:39:13,331 You can... have it removed at your earliest convenience. 745 00:39:14,418 --> 00:39:16,340 Yeah, I don't think it's going anywhere. 746 00:39:17,346 --> 00:39:20,733 Oh, boys, boys, the war's over. 747 00:39:22,685 --> 00:39:23,812 Yes, it is. 748 00:39:24,207 --> 00:39:25,760 We know all about Chicago. 749 00:39:26,907 --> 00:39:28,031 Come again? 750 00:39:28,388 --> 00:39:31,070 My ex is on the board of Chicago Memorial hospital. 751 00:39:31,215 --> 00:39:32,911 Seems your husband made quite a stir there. 752 00:39:32,916 --> 00:39:35,053 Whole hospital still buzzing about what he did. 753 00:39:36,046 --> 00:39:39,281 Whatever you heard is a vicious lie. 754 00:39:39,787 --> 00:39:41,201 Every word of it. 755 00:39:43,496 --> 00:39:45,342 Still, it was enough to... 756 00:39:45,965 --> 00:39:47,593 make you leave town, 757 00:39:47,828 --> 00:39:51,243 Which begs the question, do you like living here? 758 00:39:55,555 --> 00:39:57,880 Oh, good. We're in agreement. The fountain stays. 759 00:40:00,426 --> 00:40:02,430 Thanks for stopping by, Katherine. 760 00:40:06,247 --> 00:40:08,842 It's the same for all of us. 761 00:40:12,438 --> 00:40:17,070 We try not to get too close to the people who live next door. 762 00:40:18,895 --> 00:40:23,343 It's easier to give them a polite nod than to ask what's wrong. 763 00:40:25,908 --> 00:40:29,501 It's safer to keep walking by than to get involved. 764 00:40:32,546 --> 00:40:35,803 True, we sometimes do get to know the people 765 00:40:35,875 --> 00:40:40,262 we share a fence with and end up lifelong friends. 766 00:40:42,626 --> 00:40:45,693 But mostly, we keep our distance, 767 00:40:45,906 --> 00:40:50,003 because we'd rather our neighbors know nothing about us... 768 00:40:56,105 --> 00:40:58,202 than know too much.