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00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:12,736
♪ The things that you tell me,
the things that you don't... ♪
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00:00:12,736 --> 00:00:14,876
When an infection
destroys a cell,
3
00:00:14,876 --> 00:00:17,500
the surrounding cells signal
each other to wall it off.
4
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,846
"Help.
5
00:00:18,846 --> 00:00:20,434
I just had
a Nissen fundoplication,
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00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:21,435
and I can't swallow.
7
00:00:21,435 --> 00:00:22,677
What's happening to me?
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Are you you?
9
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:25,715
Or are you still a 50-year-old
man with achalasia?
10
00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:27,924
It doesn't say.
Um...
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00:00:27,924 --> 00:00:30,892
They isolate the infected cell
to prevent it from spreading
12
00:00:30,892 --> 00:00:33,550
and harming other parts
of your body.
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Do you think they'll ever talk
to each other again?
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Don't know.
Don't care.
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As long as they finish
their procedure logs.
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Besides, I'm too busy
rushing you back to the O.R.
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00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:46,080
to loosen the wrap
of your stomach.
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Correct.
You get a fry.
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00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:52,707
The isolation is temporary,
but important.
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I prefer the study technique
you used the other night.
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I'm not taking
my clothes off here.
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It gives your body time
to trigger your immune system
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00:01:01,268 --> 00:01:04,098
and stop the infection
from spreading...
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00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,375
Did you pick up
those yogurt things
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00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:06,376
that Leo loves
this morning?
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00:01:06,376 --> 00:01:08,309
Sorry.
An MVC came in.
27
00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:09,931
Hey, does Pru go through
those phases
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where she'll only eat
two things?
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We're at yogurt
and graham crackers.
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Oh, we are at
"I'm going to shove food
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under my plate
and pretend that I ate it."
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Any plans tonight, Bailey?
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Oh, I have plans.
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00:01:21,564 --> 00:01:23,117
I have plans to take a bath
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00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,223
and not think about interns
for seven hours.
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And then I'm also going to...
the pit.
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I'm going to the pit.
Multiple traumas.
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Yeah. Me too.
I'll page the interns.
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All right. I'll pick up
the yogurt. Good luck.
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...until isolation
is no longer needed.
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00:01:37,994 --> 00:01:40,997
You ready for tonight?
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00:01:40,997 --> 00:01:43,413
I'm gonna make you an offer
you can't refuse.
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What is that?
Godfather.
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00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,796
Oh.
It's movie night.
45
00:01:46,796 --> 00:01:50,144
Ugh! We're on call.
We should sleep when we can.
46
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,490
How come every time
I pick the movie,
47
00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:53,492
- you're too tired to watch?
- Not true!
48
00:01:53,492 --> 00:01:55,115
I sat through
that whole baseball movie.
49
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,288
I should get extra points
for that.
50
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That was five weeks ago.
51
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No, it was not!
Yeah!
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It was three "Screams,"
one Jason Bourne,
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00:02:01,776 --> 00:02:04,917
and "Pride of Yankees" ago--
five weeks.
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And... I'm late.
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For what?
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My period.
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It's the E.R.
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00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:18,379
Should we ignore it?
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It's 911.
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So is this.
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I never thought
I'd mean this literally,
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but I'm reading about
a bunch of random people's crap.
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Are all of these adult children
of people with Alzheimer's?
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Well, we need to confirm
certain bacteria in the gut.
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Our hypothesis will be
even more solid.
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I'm going to need hard data
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if I'm ever going to approach
Catherine again.
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How can you eat while
we're analyzing these results?
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Becoming my mother terrifies me
that much.
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Zola.
"Can Ellis have ice cream?"
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No, she can't have ice cream.
It's so late.
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Parenting by text.
I'm impressed.
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Well, it only works because
Zola's honest and mature.
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That's the part
that's impressive.
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Nick is supposed to read
Ellis a story.
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Well, ask Nick.
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Do you think fried rice
is anti-inflammatory?
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What if it's brown rice?
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Nick took Bailey
to the hospital.
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I worked two nights ago,
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and I'm the only person with
my procedure card filled out.
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I should be at home studying
or sleeping or--
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Ask your co-chief resident
for an exemption.
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-Coming through!
- Nice try.
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Oh, man.
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- What happened?
- Second-floor deck collapsed.
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Mostly minor lacerations
and musculoskeletal injuries,
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but we're still waiting
on a few rigs.
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They're all m--Medical students.
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They were having
a white-coat party.
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They just got theirs.
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I remember that party.
I got super d--
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...dramatic...
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about reaching
another milestone in my career.
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Everybody grab a chart.
It's gonna be a long night.
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Come on.
Oh!
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Hey, someone get him a CBC.
Type and screen.
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And hemoglobin, stat.
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00:03:59,446 --> 00:04:00,895
It's okay. I'm okay!
100
00:04:00,895 --> 00:04:03,484
Mr. Oliver?
That's me. Eddie.
101
00:04:03,484 --> 00:04:05,762
It looks like he dislocated
his left shoulder.
102
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:09,766
So reduce it, get an MRI,
and page me with the results.
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00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:11,768
So the X-ray showed
it's not broken?
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00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:14,288
Exactly. We'll do a local block,
and then I'll adduct your arm.
105
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You need any help?
106
00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:18,223
- Uh, Kwan said he'd help me.
- What?
107
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,191
Oh. Yeah.
I-I got it.
108
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Adams. Rigs are coming in.
Grab a gown.
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Yeah.
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- What are we doing?
- Thank you.
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00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:38,519
Hey.
I was just gonna call you.
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Where's Bailey?
113
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Okay.
So we're at the hospital.
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He has early appendicitis.
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They gave him antibiotics
and morphine for the pain.
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H-He's a little out of it.
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He needs an appy.
Who's on call?
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She's gonna call you
about consent.
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Well, at least someone
was thinking about that.
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Yeah. Look.
I was gonna call, but--
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I don't want to talk
about this right now.
I have to change my flight.
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Tell Bailey I will be there
as soon as I can.
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Okay. Meredith--
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00:05:03,406 --> 00:05:04,614
Mer.
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What do we got?
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Sophia Valdez.
26. Impaled by a wood beam.
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Oxygenating at 96% on room air.
Hemodynamically stable.
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Bilateral neuro deficits
in both lower extremities.
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00:05:22,563 --> 00:05:24,462
Please!
You have to help me!
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00:05:24,462 --> 00:05:25,635
Sophia, I'm Dr. Hunt.
I know you're in a lot of pain.
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This is killing me.
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We're gonna do everything
in our power to make sure
that won't happen.
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No, no. My-- My coat.
They took my white coat.
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The one that lets everyone know
I'm gonna be a doctor.
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I'll-- I'll try to find it
for you.
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I didn't even get to wear it
in an actual hospital.
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I can't feel my right leg,
and I'm only a first year,
138
00:05:41,582 --> 00:05:44,240
but that's really bad, right?
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00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,622
Trauma three and page neuro.
Let's go.
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00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:55,907
Woman over P.A.:
Dr. Ellen Drantch to Labor
and Delivery.
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Dr. Winston Ndugu?
Yes.
142
00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,196
All right.
Let's make this quick.
143
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I've got CCU rounds and
a consult in the pit, all right?
144
00:06:11,129 --> 00:06:12,958
Gilbert.
Sorry for the delay.
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00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:14,788
I've had a lot of emergent cases
today.
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It's okay.
I don't go anywhere anymore.
147
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Strange places,
loud noises, sudden movements.
148
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:21,381
They all make my heart
go "fkkt!"
149
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,865
All right. We'll take care
of that tonight, all right?
150
00:06:22,865 --> 00:06:24,901
Dr. Miller?
151
00:06:24,901 --> 00:06:26,420
Uh, Gilbert Quincy, 41.
152
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,388
Intermittent, rapid,
and irregular heart rate
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00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,562
accompanied
by shortness of breath.
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00:06:30,562 --> 00:06:32,322
Initial diagnosis is SVT
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00:06:32,322 --> 00:06:35,774
with AVRT that is resistant to,
uh, medication.
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00:06:35,774 --> 00:06:39,122
The patient is scheduled
for a, um...
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It's okay.
158
00:06:40,538 --> 00:06:44,783
The patient is scheduled
for a... cardiac ablation.
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00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:48,097
You know we can see you, right?
160
00:06:48,097 --> 00:06:50,410
Angela is
a professional cuddler.
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00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,757
When the anti-anxiety meds
stopped working,
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00:06:52,757 --> 00:06:55,173
I had to get...
creative.
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00:06:55,173 --> 00:06:58,348
Oh. Yeah. Uh, you charge people
to hug them?
164
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Cuddling releases endorphins
and oxytocin,
165
00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:05,804
which lowers stress
and anxiety.
166
00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:08,289
That's... fascinating.
167
00:07:08,289 --> 00:07:10,291
Or a racket.
168
00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:13,191
Okay, Gilbert. We got a check
on your labs, all right?
169
00:07:19,266 --> 00:07:20,957
That's the worst possible time
to consider having a baby.
170
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,856
Work never stops.
171
00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:25,790
My written exams are coming up,
and Luna's starting preschool.
172
00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:27,481
Oh, my God.
The diapers.
173
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,483
Do you know how many diapers
we would need
174
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,278
if we had three kids
who weren't potty trained?
175
00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:33,798
Try not to panic.
T-This could be nothing.
176
00:07:33,798 --> 00:07:35,316
Six diapers a day per kid!
177
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:37,180
That's like a thousand diapers
a week!
178
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:38,527
- Not even close.
- How could this happen?
179
00:07:38,527 --> 00:07:40,390
I'm OB-GYN.
180
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:41,599
Half my job is to help women
not get pregnant.
181
00:07:41,599 --> 00:07:43,773
- Oh, my God. Here it is.
- You're spiraling.
182
00:07:43,773 --> 00:07:45,188
How are you not?
183
00:07:45,188 --> 00:07:47,225
It won't be easy
but we'll figure it out.
184
00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:50,193
Also, we live in a state
where we have options--
185
00:07:50,193 --> 00:07:52,333
if-- if that's what you want--
or not.
186
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:58,995
I...I just mean we're in this
together no matter what.
187
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:01,826
Oh.
188
00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:05,726
Patient with
abdominal pain.
189
00:08:05,726 --> 00:08:07,797
You do realize this
doesn't work if I take the...
190
00:08:07,797 --> 00:08:09,627
...test.
191
00:08:13,596 --> 00:08:15,391
Sorry I'm late.
192
00:08:15,391 --> 00:08:18,359
Sophia, I'm Dr. Shepherd.
How are you feeling?
193
00:08:18,359 --> 00:08:21,017
This isn't exactly
how I pictured my first trauma.
194
00:08:21,017 --> 00:08:22,502
How are my X-rays?
195
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,331
No visible injury
around the lungs.
196
00:08:24,331 --> 00:08:25,919
No free fluid in the abdomen
or around the heart.
197
00:08:25,919 --> 00:08:27,334
She's a first-year
med student.
198
00:08:27,334 --> 00:08:30,889
Got it.
Um, wiggle your toes for me.
199
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:35,549
Are they moving?
200
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,068
Okay.
201
00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:38,587
Can you feel it
when I touch here?
202
00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:40,450
Mnh-mnh.
203
00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:45,835
We need a CT right now.
Okay.
204
00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:49,045
I've wanted to be a surgeon
ever since I can remember.
205
00:08:49,045 --> 00:08:51,876
I watched whipples on YouTube
as a kid.
206
00:08:51,876 --> 00:08:53,705
Have you ever done one?
207
00:08:53,705 --> 00:08:55,914
Oh, my God.
Is that...
208
00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:58,883
Yeah. The paramedics
were gonna toss it, but I
got there just in time.
209
00:08:58,883 --> 00:09:01,230
Sophia, hey, hey, hey.
210
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,370
Hey. Hey. Hey.
Deep breaths, okay?
211
00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:05,199
Stay still.
Deep breaths.
212
00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:07,201
I'm gonna take you
up to CT now, okay?
213
00:09:07,201 --> 00:09:08,548
Right now.
We're going now.
214
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,928
Let's go.
215
00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:15,727
I don't think you understand.
216
00:09:15,727 --> 00:09:17,142
My son is in the hospital.
217
00:09:17,142 --> 00:09:19,075
I need a flight tonight.
218
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,941
Yes, I can hold.
219
00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:28,119
Meredith?
What's going on?
220
00:09:28,119 --> 00:09:29,810
Bailey needs
an appendectomy.
221
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:31,501
He's with Nick
in Boston.
222
00:09:31,501 --> 00:09:33,503
- Can I help?
- Can you fly a plane?
223
00:09:33,503 --> 00:09:35,575
No.
But let me call Catherine.
224
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,611
No. I don't want to
bother Catherine.
225
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:38,508
He's your son.
226
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:39,993
Now, come on.
227
00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:44,825
Sorry.
Excuse me.
228
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:49,347
Dr. Schmitt, I finished
the arm lac in bed 3.
229
00:09:49,347 --> 00:09:50,590
What's next?
230
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,763
We set up a fast track
near bed 7
231
00:09:51,763 --> 00:09:53,593
for the simpler cases.
232
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,733
You should be able to move
through that pretty quickly.
233
00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:57,942
I was the fastest pre-rounder
in medical school.
234
00:09:57,942 --> 00:09:59,944
Mm.
235
00:09:59,944 --> 00:10:01,324
- All right.
- Woman over P.A.:
Dr. Mahoney to the E.R.
236
00:10:01,324 --> 00:10:04,604
Dr. Mahoney to the E.R.
237
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,330
Hi. I'm Dr. Yasud--
238
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,752
Do you have any idea
how much I want to be you?
239
00:10:14,752 --> 00:10:17,168
I haven't slept in two days.
You might want to rethink that.
240
00:10:17,168 --> 00:10:19,619
Have you ever wanted
something so much it hurts?
241
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,208
Like... Like you can feel it
in your body
242
00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:25,625
and you're so close
to getting it?
243
00:10:26,936 --> 00:10:30,457
Yeah.
I, uh, I think I understand.
244
00:10:30,457 --> 00:10:33,011
Then you know.
245
00:10:33,011 --> 00:10:35,496
You have to fix me.
246
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:36,774
Please.
247
00:10:36,774 --> 00:10:38,776
Adams, let's go.
248
00:10:40,053 --> 00:10:41,364
When you see a deck collapse
on TV,
249
00:10:41,364 --> 00:10:43,401
are you thinking,
"Gee, that's sad,"
250
00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:45,541
or are you happy
because of all the traumas?
251
00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:46,715
Be honest.
252
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,133
Are you okay?
253
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,444
Yeah.
I'm fine.
254
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,655
Scans are up.
255
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,725
Adams?
256
00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:59,210
Uh, it looks like
the wood
257
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:02,006
partially severed
her spinal cord
258
00:11:02,006 --> 00:11:03,663
at T-4 and T-5.
259
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,319
Brown-Séquard syndrome.
260
00:11:05,319 --> 00:11:06,666
It's an expanding hematoma
in her spinal cord,
261
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,046
which means the blood supply
is tenuous.
262
00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:10,014
So what do you do?
263
00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:12,533
We remove the foreign object,
we irrigate the hematoma,
264
00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:14,535
we close her,
and we hope for the best.
265
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:15,916
Hope?
266
00:11:15,916 --> 00:11:17,677
Y-You just--
You just hope
267
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,231
that she's gonna be able to walk
or-- or stand?
268
00:11:20,231 --> 00:11:23,234
Doing more could cause
her entire spinal cord
to stroke out.
269
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:25,029
Or she could die
from complications.
270
00:11:25,029 --> 00:11:27,825
This is her best option.
271
00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:29,447
Let's book an O.R.
272
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:31,380
Mm-hmm.
273
00:11:42,943 --> 00:11:44,462
Tired, Griffith?
274
00:11:44,462 --> 00:11:45,705
Oh, a little.
275
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,740
You should be.
276
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,190
I checked your hours.
277
00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:50,468
You're almost at your max.
Go home.
278
00:11:50,468 --> 00:11:51,849
I'm just waiting for
Eddie Oliver's MRI results.
279
00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:54,714
Do you know
what exhausted interns do?
280
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,786
Make mistakes,
which makes my life messy.
281
00:11:57,786 --> 00:12:00,409
You want my life to be messy,
Griffith?
282
00:12:00,409 --> 00:12:02,618
I will pass it off to Kwon
and go home.
283
00:12:05,069 --> 00:12:06,898
I have to give you my patient.
284
00:12:06,898 --> 00:12:09,729
Uh, if his MRI is clear,
he can be discharged.
285
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,109
He's in bed 4.
286
00:12:11,109 --> 00:12:13,077
Well, that bed's been empty
for a while.
287
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:14,457
And you did nothing?
288
00:12:14,457 --> 00:12:16,218
He wasn't my patient then.
289
00:12:16,218 --> 00:12:18,910
Bailey will kill us if we let
a drunk medical student
290
00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:20,740
loose in the hospital.
291
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,810
Find him.
292
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:22,811
You lost him.
293
00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:25,848
Shut up and help me.
294
00:12:35,651 --> 00:12:37,791
Hi.
295
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,137
How is he?
296
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:41,174
He's good.
They took him to pre-op.
297
00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:44,487
Not before he lobbied the nurse
for popsicles after he wakes up.
298
00:12:44,487 --> 00:12:46,179
Well, I should be there
by then.
299
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:48,353
Good.
He'll be happy.
300
00:12:48,353 --> 00:12:50,666
Well, I could have been there
sooner had I known.
301
00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:52,530
Mer, we're gonna have
this conversation now?
302
00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:54,946
Well, you took my kid
to the hospital.
303
00:12:54,946 --> 00:12:56,258
Yeah.
He said his stomach hurt
304
00:12:56,258 --> 00:12:57,915
on the way home
from hockey practice.
305
00:12:57,915 --> 00:12:59,709
I did a quick exam.
He had rebound tenderness.
306
00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:02,609
I called Ankrom. She said
to bring him in. I mean...
307
00:13:02,609 --> 00:13:04,197
You should have
called me.
308
00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:06,095
Yes. I could have.
309
00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:08,788
I wanted to see what the doctor
said before I worried you.
310
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,823
I am a doctor.
311
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:12,170
Yes.
And so am I.
312
00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:14,483
I'm his mother.
You call me.
313
00:13:14,483 --> 00:13:15,829
Okay. Copy that.
Next time this happens--
314
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,210
No next time.
315
00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:19,039
If any decisions
need to be made,
316
00:13:19,039 --> 00:13:21,455
call me immediately.
317
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,840
Sounded like that
went well.
318
00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:33,053
Track this for me. This side.
319
00:13:33,053 --> 00:13:35,331
- Okay. Good.
- Dead. Alive.
320
00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:37,023
Dead.
321
00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:38,748
Alive.
322
00:13:38,748 --> 00:13:39,749
Dead.
323
00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:40,716
Alive.
324
00:13:40,716 --> 00:13:41,751
Don't do that.
325
00:13:41,751 --> 00:13:42,960
Dead.
326
00:13:47,205 --> 00:13:49,552
I've been running
the fast-track area solo.
327
00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:51,831
I heard.
- That's awesome.
- Oh, is it?
328
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,558
'Cause so far, I've been
peed on, spit on, and hit on.
329
00:13:55,558 --> 00:13:58,182
I mean, the first two
were accidents, but still.
330
00:13:58,182 --> 00:13:59,562
Someone hit on you?
331
00:13:59,562 --> 00:14:02,082
That's what you're
concerned about?
332
00:14:02,082 --> 00:14:03,670
Can you please
swap me out?
333
00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:04,878
Let me see what I can do.
334
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,224
Okay.
335
00:14:06,224 --> 00:14:07,708
Can I have a sandwich?
No.
336
00:14:07,708 --> 00:14:09,055
Back.
337
00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:12,230
Wheelchair, not a toy.
338
00:14:16,476 --> 00:14:18,858
Hey. Gilbert Quincy
still isn't prepped.
339
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,930
His heart rate kept going up
while she was doing the echo.
340
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:25,243
I suggest we wait another
30 minutes before trying again.
341
00:14:25,243 --> 00:14:27,763
All right. Look. I've been on
my feet since 5:00 this morning,
342
00:14:27,763 --> 00:14:29,247
and I've got another eight hours
ahead of me.
343
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:31,422
I'm not going to shift around
my schedule
344
00:14:31,422 --> 00:14:33,873
because my patient needs
a human weighted blanket.
345
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,737
Uh, Angela, would you please
go check on Gilbert?
346
00:14:36,737 --> 00:14:39,154
We'll be in with you
in a minute.
347
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,811
Thank you.
348
00:14:44,953 --> 00:14:46,920
You're an intern.
I give you a task.
349
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,059
You do it.
Understood?
350
00:14:48,059 --> 00:14:50,061
Get the echo.
351
00:14:50,061 --> 00:14:53,202
I will try again.
352
00:14:53,202 --> 00:14:54,894
You know, actually, no.
353
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,723
You can do it intraoperatively
while he's asleep.
354
00:14:56,723 --> 00:14:58,483
Excuse me?
355
00:14:58,483 --> 00:15:00,485
I know what I'm about to say
is way out of line,
356
00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:03,143
but it's late,
and I think you need to hear it.
357
00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:05,801
You used to be
the coolest attending.
358
00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:07,941
Everybody wanted to be
on your service.
359
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,978
But lately, you've kind of been
a jerk.
360
00:15:09,978 --> 00:15:12,566
Correct. This is
way out of line. Yes.
361
00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:15,052
Okay. I am desperate
to learn from you.
362
00:15:15,052 --> 00:15:16,985
But not if it means
being disrespected
363
00:15:16,985 --> 00:15:19,815
or standing by while
you disrespect our patients.
364
00:15:19,815 --> 00:15:21,782
Gilbert is in pain.
He is scared.
365
00:15:21,782 --> 00:15:24,164
And if paying someone
to hug him helps him with that,
366
00:15:24,164 --> 00:15:25,786
who are we to judge?
367
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:28,824
I want the patient prepped
within 20 minutes.
368
00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:36,625
Are you okay?
369
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:39,524
I've never been in an O.R.
before.
370
00:15:39,524 --> 00:15:44,184
Um, my-- my dad said the O.R.
had an invisible energy,
371
00:15:44,184 --> 00:15:48,119
like the force in "Star Wars."
372
00:15:48,119 --> 00:15:49,362
Now I get it.
373
00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:51,364
What kind of surgeon
is your dad?
374
00:15:51,364 --> 00:15:54,470
Trauma.
But he died two years ago.
375
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:56,714
Oh.
376
00:15:56,714 --> 00:15:58,336
We are gonna start
the anesthesia.
377
00:15:58,336 --> 00:15:59,993
Are you ready?
378
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,685
Can you make sure my coat
is with my stuff?
379
00:16:02,685 --> 00:16:05,654
I don't care if it's ruined.
I-I still want to keep it.
380
00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:07,000
Of course.
Mm-hmm.
381
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,278
Okay.
382
00:16:09,278 --> 00:16:10,866
I-I'm ready.
383
00:16:19,702 --> 00:16:21,739
Woman over P.A.:
Dr. Yun to O.R. 1.
384
00:16:21,739 --> 00:16:23,637
Dr. Yun to O.R. 1.
385
00:16:25,294 --> 00:16:27,676
Huh.
His M.R.I. is clear.
386
00:16:27,676 --> 00:16:30,679
I mean, d-- maybe he went home.
Did you try and give him a call?
387
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:32,922
I have been with you.
388
00:16:32,922 --> 00:16:34,510
Okay.
Give me the number.
389
00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,029
Thank you.
390
00:16:37,582 --> 00:16:39,239
You have reached
the voice mailbox...
391
00:16:39,239 --> 00:16:41,828
- Voicemail.
- I can't believe I lost
a patient.
392
00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:43,243
Bailey is going to fire me.
393
00:16:43,243 --> 00:16:45,245
Is he in a plaid shirt
with a sling?
394
00:16:45,245 --> 00:16:47,696
Is your missing patient
wearing a plaid shirt
395
00:16:47,696 --> 00:16:49,698
- and a sling on his arm?
- Yes.
396
00:16:49,698 --> 00:16:52,045
Yeah.
I saw him near the stairwell.
397
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,530
Ah!
The one by the west elevator.
398
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:56,360
It goes to the roof.
399
00:17:04,678 --> 00:17:08,096
Great.
400
00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:12,721
The windy, outdoor version of
what we've been doing all night.
401
00:17:12,721 --> 00:17:14,378
Oh, please.
402
00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:17,553
Hey.
403
00:17:17,553 --> 00:17:18,692
What?
404
00:17:18,692 --> 00:17:21,074
Eddie?
405
00:17:23,421 --> 00:17:26,907
Can you come down from there?
We've got your M.R.I. results.
406
00:17:26,907 --> 00:17:28,599
Am I dying?
407
00:17:28,599 --> 00:17:31,533
No. You're fine.
Let's go back in.
408
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:34,570
Yeah. We'll discharge you,
and y-you can go home.
409
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,266
Eddie?
410
00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:42,889
What if I didn't go home?
411
00:17:44,304 --> 00:17:46,548
You thought losing him
was bad?
412
00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:49,758
How about the headline "Drunk
med student falls off hospital"?
413
00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:52,554
He's completely sober,
according to his labs.
414
00:17:52,554 --> 00:17:58,767
What if I just...
let the wind decide?
415
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,783
Oh.
416
00:18:16,164 --> 00:18:17,993
Anything new?
417
00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:19,443
Still in surgery.
418
00:18:20,478 --> 00:18:22,618
I wish I could see
into that O.R.
419
00:18:22,618 --> 00:18:24,448
The last thing
a surgeon needs
420
00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:27,106
is to have a patient's mom
looking over their shoulder.
421
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,177
Even more so
if it's Meredith Grey.
422
00:18:29,177 --> 00:18:31,248
Even the best hands
make mistakes.
423
00:18:31,248 --> 00:18:32,973
Bleeding, perforations.
424
00:18:32,973 --> 00:18:34,596
It's the middle of the night.
425
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:36,356
They're tired.
Mistakes happen.
426
00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:38,186
Yeah, they could, but most
of the time, they don't.
427
00:18:38,186 --> 00:18:41,706
And most of the time, people who
need craniotomies get head CTs.
428
00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:45,262
I'm sorry.
I'm fine.
429
00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:48,161
I just-- It's just when things
like this happen.
430
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,198
I know it's not Derek.
I-I...
431
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:53,373
I understand.
No apologies needed.
432
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,206
It's cold.
433
00:18:58,206 --> 00:19:01,209
Let's go in, get some coffee,
find your friends.
434
00:19:01,209 --> 00:19:02,520
I'm fine here.
435
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,040
We can't leave you
here.
436
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,459
Hey, Eddie, did you...
437
00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:13,013
Did you come up here
to hurt yourself?
438
00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:18,847
I don't know.
439
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:22,920
Are you having thoughts
of suicide?
440
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,923
I, uh...
441
00:19:25,923 --> 00:19:27,511
I guess.
442
00:19:27,511 --> 00:19:29,064
Sometimes.
443
00:19:31,722 --> 00:19:34,242
I'm here
if you want to talk.
444
00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:36,727
We both are.
445
00:19:36,727 --> 00:19:39,730
Maybe you could sit down.
You've had a long night.
446
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:03,478
It seems darker up here.
447
00:20:05,134 --> 00:20:07,447
The city.
448
00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:09,794
Text Bailey.
449
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:16,076
Did you move here for med school
or is Seattle home?
450
00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:17,423
You know,
you're really pretty.
451
00:20:17,423 --> 00:20:19,252
Yeah. Thank you.
Okay.
452
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,910
Do you like me?
Sure.
453
00:20:21,910 --> 00:20:25,258
Don't touch that, 'cause you're
gonna open the sutures.
454
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,466
Okay?
455
00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:29,262
Stop.
Stop.
456
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,091
Okay. You know what?
457
00:20:31,091 --> 00:20:33,301
Your hand is contaminated,
and if you're not gonna listen,
458
00:20:33,301 --> 00:20:35,095
I have to do this.
I'm sorry.
459
00:20:35,095 --> 00:20:37,753
This is just what has to happen
right now. Okay.
460
00:20:37,753 --> 00:20:39,445
This is a malpractice.
461
00:20:39,445 --> 00:20:42,275
Hey!
She's malpracticing me.
462
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,898
Um, can-- can I get
another banana bag, please?
463
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:46,141
Aah!
464
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,285
No.
465
00:20:59,603 --> 00:21:01,501
Hey, baby.
466
00:21:01,501 --> 00:21:03,952
I-I thought you weren't
working tonight.
467
00:21:03,952 --> 00:21:05,919
Well, I could say the same thing
about you.
468
00:21:05,919 --> 00:21:07,921
Yeah.
They needed a sub.
469
00:21:07,921 --> 00:21:10,165
That, uh, that med-student party
was a real rager, huh?
470
00:21:10,165 --> 00:21:12,029
Uh, yeah.
471
00:21:12,029 --> 00:21:13,927
I got one of them trying
to order pizza over at bed 4.
472
00:21:13,927 --> 00:21:16,344
Wait.
Tuck's at home?
473
00:21:16,344 --> 00:21:20,624
Uh, did you remind him to lock
the door and turn on the alarm?
474
00:21:20,624 --> 00:21:23,143
T-- Ah.
475
00:21:23,143 --> 00:21:24,697
You didn't think
I remembered.
476
00:21:24,697 --> 00:21:26,940
I do...
477
00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:28,632
Oh. Uh-oh.
478
00:21:28,632 --> 00:21:30,289
What?
What happened?
479
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:33,326
Interns, uh, found
a missing patient on the roof.
480
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,501
They're worried
that he wants to jump off.
481
00:21:35,501 --> 00:21:36,536
Okay.
Tell them we're on the way.
482
00:21:36,536 --> 00:21:39,643
Ok-- Uh...
483
00:21:39,643 --> 00:21:42,335
You remember how it felt to be
that excited about surgery?
484
00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:44,164
Yeah.
It was like a drug
485
00:21:44,164 --> 00:21:46,995
that, unlike the other drugs
I was into, couldn't kill me.
486
00:21:46,995 --> 00:21:48,721
Prepare for the specimen.
487
00:21:48,721 --> 00:21:51,310
I don't remember the last time
operating gave me
488
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,897
that kind of rush.
489
00:21:52,897 --> 00:21:54,727
Okay. Removing the foreign
object in three.
490
00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:57,488
One, two... three.
491
00:21:58,558 --> 00:22:00,974
Bovie.
Irrigation.
492
00:22:00,974 --> 00:22:02,700
Let's get this bleeding
under control,
493
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,357
wash her out,
and get ready to close,
494
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,359
and let's hope
for the best.
495
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,499
These edges are cleaner
than I thought they'd be.
496
00:22:08,499 --> 00:22:10,329
No significant
tissue loss.
497
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,158
Bleeding subsided.
498
00:22:12,158 --> 00:22:14,091
You're gonna ask me to do
a primary repair, aren't you?
499
00:22:14,091 --> 00:22:15,920
That's not the standard
of care.
500
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,544
I saw a lot of penetrating
injuries like this in Iraq,
501
00:22:18,544 --> 00:22:21,512
and I've seen primary repairs
work on nerves and extremities
502
00:22:21,512 --> 00:22:23,583
It doesn't come close
to a spinal cord.
503
00:22:23,583 --> 00:22:26,068
But if you were
going to do it...
504
00:22:27,276 --> 00:22:28,864
I would need
an orbeye.
505
00:22:28,864 --> 00:22:30,694
I'd use 10-0 nylon.
506
00:22:30,694 --> 00:22:33,248
Layer by layer, I would need to
expose the spinal cor--
507
00:22:33,248 --> 00:22:34,870
I can't guarantee the outcome.
508
00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:36,251
I mean, there's risky,
and then there's this.
509
00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:38,080
She'd want you to do it.
510
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,912
Sorry, but s-she'd want you
to try.
511
00:22:41,912 --> 00:22:43,603
It would kill her to know
there was a chance
512
00:22:43,603 --> 00:22:44,742
and you didn't take it.
513
00:22:46,848 --> 00:22:48,228
All right.
514
00:22:48,228 --> 00:22:50,230
This is gonna be long
and tedious.
515
00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:52,681
I need an orbeye.
I need everyone in lockstep.
516
00:22:52,681 --> 00:22:53,682
Are you in?
517
00:22:53,682 --> 00:22:54,683
I suggested it.
518
00:23:01,241 --> 00:23:02,795
I can't look at it.
519
00:23:03,658 --> 00:23:04,935
Did you pee on this?
520
00:23:04,935 --> 00:23:06,488
Just read it.
521
00:23:07,627 --> 00:23:09,249
It's negative.
522
00:23:09,249 --> 00:23:11,044
Phew!
523
00:23:13,288 --> 00:23:15,773
What happened
to "We're in this together"?
524
00:23:15,773 --> 00:23:18,707
You--
You were spiraling.
525
00:23:18,707 --> 00:23:21,641
Short of traveling back
and getting a vasectomy,
526
00:23:21,641 --> 00:23:23,471
it was the only thing
I could think of to make
you feel better.
527
00:23:23,471 --> 00:23:26,266
The idea of having a baby
with me is so awful,
528
00:23:26,266 --> 00:23:28,579
you would rather have
a vasectomy?
529
00:23:28,579 --> 00:23:29,891
No.
530
00:23:29,891 --> 00:23:31,824
"A thousand diapers week"!
531
00:23:31,824 --> 00:23:34,447
That was an exaggeration!
532
00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:35,793
Hi.
533
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,728
I love being a dad,
534
00:23:39,728 --> 00:23:42,144
and as much as I would love
to do it all over again with you
535
00:23:42,144 --> 00:23:45,631
and only with you, I...
I'm tired.
536
00:23:45,631 --> 00:23:46,839
It's hard.
537
00:23:46,839 --> 00:23:49,151
Give me this.
538
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:53,673
It's not negative.
539
00:23:55,641 --> 00:23:56,849
Y-You're pregnant?
540
00:23:56,849 --> 00:23:58,644
It's not positive
either!
541
00:23:58,644 --> 00:24:00,093
Is there a third option?
542
00:24:00,093 --> 00:24:01,681
One line is negative.
Two is positive.
543
00:24:01,681 --> 00:24:02,682
There's no lines!
544
00:24:02,682 --> 00:24:03,959
It's a dud.
545
00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:16,040
Aah--
Can-- Can we slow down?
546
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,284
If we go any slower,
we'll have to push your surgery
547
00:24:18,284 --> 00:24:20,597
- to tomorrow.
- Stop, stop!
548
00:24:20,597 --> 00:24:22,495
I can't do this! I can't!
I-I have to get off.
549
00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:24,186
Uh, no, no, no, no.
You can. You can do this.
550
00:24:24,186 --> 00:24:26,119
You can do this.
Should we call Angela?
551
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:27,362
No! No.
She charges by the hour.
552
00:24:27,362 --> 00:24:29,502
I'm sorry.
I'm really trying,
553
00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:31,124
but my relaxation techniques
aren't even working, and I'm--
554
00:24:31,124 --> 00:24:33,402
I can't breathe,
and my fingers are tingling.
555
00:24:33,402 --> 00:24:35,163
I'm-- I'm alone, and I'm hot.
Why is it so...
556
00:24:35,163 --> 00:24:36,509
Dr. Ndugu.
May I?
557
00:24:36,509 --> 00:24:38,304
What are you doing?
558
00:24:38,304 --> 00:24:39,719
If his heart rate doesn't
slow down, he can go into V-fib.
559
00:24:42,032 --> 00:24:43,482
You're okay. You're okay.
You okay.
560
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:46,346
Breathe-- Breathe with Breathe
with me.
561
00:24:46,346 --> 00:24:49,142
Yep.
562
00:24:49,142 --> 00:24:50,868
Okay.
Nice and slow.
563
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:53,630
Let's go.
564
00:24:56,805 --> 00:24:58,635
There you go.
565
00:25:07,954 --> 00:25:09,680
I remember
my white coat ceremony.
566
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,510
My dad flew in.
567
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:13,650
It was raining,
so traffic was awful.
568
00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:16,894
He walked in right as I was
reciting the oath.
569
00:25:16,894 --> 00:25:19,759
Barely passed
my biochem test.
570
00:25:19,759 --> 00:25:22,521
It's okay.
571
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,281
I studied.
572
00:25:24,281 --> 00:25:27,526
I even went to see
a tutor.
573
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,598
Busted my ass, and I still
couldn't even catch up.
574
00:25:30,598 --> 00:25:33,221
Biochem is like...
575
00:25:33,221 --> 00:25:35,292
learning another language.
576
00:25:37,777 --> 00:25:40,124
So much reading.
577
00:25:40,124 --> 00:25:43,611
So many tests.
578
00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:46,890
You know, it's like I try
to sleep, but I can't.
579
00:25:48,857 --> 00:25:52,412
I think, uh...
580
00:25:54,104 --> 00:25:56,037
Say it.
581
00:25:56,037 --> 00:25:58,039
Sometimes just saying it
helps.
582
00:26:00,904 --> 00:26:02,457
I think I'm broken.
583
00:26:08,394 --> 00:26:11,121
I don't deserve this
anymore.
584
00:26:12,432 --> 00:26:14,607
Eddie.
585
00:26:27,413 --> 00:26:29,933
Oh. Damn it. Griffith.
586
00:26:29,933 --> 00:26:31,590
I told her to go home.
587
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,178
Yeah. Well, it's a good thing
she didn't listen.
588
00:26:35,766 --> 00:26:38,148
Has he said anything
about wanting to jump?
589
00:26:38,148 --> 00:26:40,978
No.
590
00:26:40,978 --> 00:26:42,670
Good.
All right.
591
00:26:42,670 --> 00:26:44,603
Well, then keep--
keep doing what you're doing.
592
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,743
He's standing
on a ledge.
593
00:26:46,743 --> 00:26:49,297
There's a difference between
a suicide attempt and ideation.
594
00:26:49,297 --> 00:26:50,954
Right now,
he's talking to her.
595
00:26:50,954 --> 00:26:53,163
He's engaging with her
and answering her questions.
596
00:26:53,163 --> 00:26:55,372
He's inches away
from a seven-story drop.
597
00:26:55,372 --> 00:26:57,685
And if we abruptly change
the situation on him,
598
00:26:57,685 --> 00:26:59,100
we might make it worse.
599
00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:02,655
So calm down.
Keep him talking.
600
00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:07,798
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look at me.
601
00:27:07,798 --> 00:27:08,972
Look at me. Look at me.
602
00:27:08,972 --> 00:27:09,973
What?
603
00:27:09,973 --> 00:27:12,527
Five. Four.
604
00:27:12,527 --> 00:27:13,666
Three.
605
00:27:13,666 --> 00:27:15,530
Two.
606
00:27:15,530 --> 00:27:16,565
One.
607
00:27:16,565 --> 00:27:18,222
Hm?
608
00:27:18,222 --> 00:27:20,224
We get a sign
this becomes unstable...
609
00:27:20,224 --> 00:27:22,813
We will intervene.
610
00:27:32,512 --> 00:27:33,721
Hey.
611
00:27:34,687 --> 00:27:37,379
Surgery went well.
The appendix didn't rupture.
612
00:27:37,379 --> 00:27:39,416
He's still out?
You know him.
613
00:27:39,416 --> 00:27:43,592
He could sleep through a monster
truck rally without anesthesia.
614
00:27:43,592 --> 00:27:45,077
You can go.
615
00:27:47,769 --> 00:27:49,737
I...I don't need to.
616
00:27:49,737 --> 00:27:51,497
You can go.
617
00:27:51,497 --> 00:27:53,844
Okay.
618
00:27:55,743 --> 00:27:58,366
His, uh, his vitals
look good.
619
00:27:58,366 --> 00:28:00,368
I'll-- I'll let you two have
some time.
620
00:28:00,368 --> 00:28:02,577
I'll be close
in case you need anything.
621
00:28:03,716 --> 00:28:06,719
Thank you
for getting me here
622
00:28:06,719 --> 00:28:09,273
and for listening to me
and being there for me.
623
00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:11,828
You know I would do more
if I could.
624
00:28:11,828 --> 00:28:13,588
I really am fine.
625
00:28:16,108 --> 00:28:19,525
I mean, of course I miss him.
I...
626
00:28:19,525 --> 00:28:22,459
It's... It's just really
only when the kids wake up
627
00:28:22,459 --> 00:28:23,943
in the middle
of the night.
628
00:28:23,943 --> 00:28:27,464
and I don't have anyone
to talk to and...
629
00:28:27,464 --> 00:28:30,743
Anyway, you help me
more than you know.
630
00:28:30,743 --> 00:28:33,228
I was glad to do it.
631
00:28:33,228 --> 00:28:37,543
But, uh, you know, I wasn't the
only one you had to talk with.
632
00:28:40,857 --> 00:28:41,858
Mom?
633
00:28:41,858 --> 00:28:43,722
Hi.
634
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,240
How do you feel?
635
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:46,794
Where's Nick?
636
00:28:49,037 --> 00:28:51,143
Pia mater
has been approximated.
637
00:28:51,143 --> 00:28:52,592
Cut, please.
638
00:28:54,663 --> 00:28:55,906
Wait.
639
00:28:55,906 --> 00:28:58,081
There's bleeding.
Suction.
640
00:28:58,081 --> 00:29:00,083
Wait. No suction.
No. it's too friable.
641
00:29:00,083 --> 00:29:02,775
If we suction, we could lose
spinal nerve tissue.
642
00:29:02,775 --> 00:29:04,673
- We need to stop the bleeding.
- Well, we can irrigate
643
00:29:04,673 --> 00:29:07,815
and then use gelfoam
soaked in dexamethasone.
644
00:29:07,815 --> 00:29:09,161
Let's keep it quiet.
645
00:29:09,161 --> 00:29:10,438
We know it's been
a long night,
646
00:29:10,438 --> 00:29:12,509
but we're on the homestretch, okay?
647
00:29:17,169 --> 00:29:19,792
Bleeding has stopped.
648
00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:20,966
Gelfoam, please.
649
00:29:20,966 --> 00:29:22,070
Do you need
a dural patch?
650
00:29:22,070 --> 00:29:23,623
No. I'm good.
651
00:29:23,623 --> 00:29:25,522
Can't believe
I'm saying this, but...
652
00:29:25,522 --> 00:29:27,006
we can prep to close.
653
00:29:27,006 --> 00:29:28,974
We did it.
654
00:29:28,974 --> 00:29:30,630
We did.
655
00:29:30,630 --> 00:29:32,494
All right.
656
00:29:32,494 --> 00:29:34,911
Wait to see if it works before
you start gloating up there.
657
00:29:34,911 --> 00:29:37,016
Okay.
Irrigation.
658
00:29:47,061 --> 00:29:48,200
How'd it go?
659
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,822
Good. Yeah.
660
00:29:49,822 --> 00:29:51,859
He's gonna wake up
a new person.
661
00:29:51,859 --> 00:29:53,826
I don't think we would
have gotten him into the O.R.
662
00:29:53,826 --> 00:29:56,001
if you hadn't jumped
on the gurney when you did.
663
00:29:56,001 --> 00:29:57,657
Yeah.
Well, I got to be honest.
664
00:29:57,657 --> 00:30:00,799
It's not
my usual strategy.
665
00:30:01,834 --> 00:30:05,044
Uh, Dr. Ndugu, um,
I-I wanted to say
666
00:30:05,044 --> 00:30:07,840
that I am really sorry
for what I said earlier.
667
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,531
Not only
was it inappropriate
668
00:30:09,531 --> 00:30:12,741
and disrespectful--It was right.
669
00:30:12,741 --> 00:30:15,365
I haven't been bringing
my best self to work lately.
670
00:30:15,365 --> 00:30:19,714
Things in my personal life
are... complicated.
671
00:30:19,714 --> 00:30:21,578
But it's no excuse.
672
00:30:21,578 --> 00:30:22,959
You-- You don't have to
explain yourself to me.
673
00:30:22,959 --> 00:30:24,236
No. I know.
674
00:30:24,236 --> 00:30:26,652
But I'm the coolest
attending.
675
00:30:26,652 --> 00:30:29,241
You did good work today.
676
00:30:36,558 --> 00:30:39,216
You hungry?
677
00:30:39,216 --> 00:30:41,046
Cafeteria has
pretty good fries.
678
00:30:41,046 --> 00:30:44,187
When did you feel like
you were a doctor?
679
00:30:44,187 --> 00:30:48,708
I don't know. Maybe...
a couple weeks into residency.
680
00:30:51,228 --> 00:30:53,713
Someone called me "Doctor"
tonight.
681
00:30:54,783 --> 00:30:56,958
Patient in the elevator.
682
00:30:58,822 --> 00:31:02,343
'Cause he just saw the coat
and assumed.
683
00:31:02,343 --> 00:31:04,793
I didn't correct him.
684
00:31:04,793 --> 00:31:06,726
That's okay.
685
00:31:06,726 --> 00:31:07,900
It's a shame.
686
00:31:09,143 --> 00:31:11,662
I'm not even sure what I am
anymore.
687
00:31:12,940 --> 00:31:16,115
I'm a guy just...
688
00:31:16,115 --> 00:31:18,083
just going through
the motions.
689
00:31:19,291 --> 00:31:21,741
I take the light rail
to school,
690
00:31:21,741 --> 00:31:24,089
and every morning,
I think...
691
00:31:25,918 --> 00:31:28,852
..."What if I just fell
onto the tracks?"
692
00:31:29,957 --> 00:31:32,269
Everyone else
has it all figured out,
693
00:31:32,269 --> 00:31:33,788
but I don't.
694
00:31:35,652 --> 00:31:41,209
I-I don't know how to live
with all of the, um...
695
00:31:41,209 --> 00:31:43,315
Pressure and all the pain?
696
00:31:45,110 --> 00:31:47,215
I didn't either.
697
00:31:47,215 --> 00:31:49,459
A lot of people don't.
698
00:31:49,459 --> 00:31:52,082
Doesn't matter
how they make it look.
699
00:31:54,119 --> 00:31:55,948
You're not alone.
700
00:31:55,948 --> 00:32:01,091
Most days, I still don't feel
like a doctor.
701
00:32:01,091 --> 00:32:03,507
But I'm still here.
702
00:32:03,507 --> 00:32:06,441
Let us get you some help.
703
00:32:09,306 --> 00:32:11,067
Hm?
704
00:32:52,901 --> 00:32:54,489
Hi.
705
00:32:54,489 --> 00:32:57,837
Do you have a minute?
706
00:32:59,391 --> 00:33:01,738
Two days.
707
00:33:01,738 --> 00:33:03,326
Excuse me?
708
00:33:03,326 --> 00:33:05,155
I've been with your kids
for two days.
709
00:33:05,155 --> 00:33:06,570
I got them to school.
710
00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:08,193
I got them to practice
and rehearsal.
711
00:33:08,193 --> 00:33:10,195
I made sure they ate,
they slept.
712
00:33:10,195 --> 00:33:11,990
When one of them felt sick,
out of an abundance of caution,
713
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,681
I brought him here.
714
00:33:13,681 --> 00:33:15,303
Now, yes, I guess
I could've called on the way,
715
00:33:15,303 --> 00:33:17,167
but I was busy making
arrangements with your nanny
716
00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,169
to take care of Zola and Ellis.
717
00:33:19,169 --> 00:33:20,999
My kid was sick.
718
00:33:20,999 --> 00:33:22,034
Mm-hmm.
719
00:33:22,034 --> 00:33:23,415
And I wasn't here.
720
00:33:23,415 --> 00:33:25,693
And I feel really guilty
about that.
721
00:33:25,693 --> 00:33:27,246
I'm all they have.
722
00:33:27,246 --> 00:33:28,834
But you're not.
723
00:33:28,834 --> 00:33:31,561
I mean, yes, you're their mom.
Of course.
724
00:33:31,561 --> 00:33:33,218
But they have so many people
that love them.
725
00:33:34,736 --> 00:33:36,876
Look, I know I'm not
their father.
726
00:33:36,876 --> 00:33:38,050
I know that.
727
00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:40,225
But I care about them
a lot.
728
00:33:40,225 --> 00:33:41,743
And I want you to trust me
with them.
729
00:33:41,743 --> 00:33:42,779
I do trust you.
730
00:33:42,779 --> 00:33:44,229
It doesn't feel like it.
731
00:33:44,229 --> 00:33:46,162
I'm sorry.
732
00:33:46,162 --> 00:33:47,922
I panicked.
733
00:33:47,922 --> 00:33:51,374
I actually came here
to say I'm sorry.
734
00:33:51,374 --> 00:33:54,377
Because I know--
I panic.
735
00:33:54,377 --> 00:33:56,068
And I was tired.
736
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:02,040
But I know that I said
some things
737
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,388
that were probably
pretty unnecessary to say, so...
738
00:34:05,388 --> 00:34:06,630
A few things.
739
00:34:06,630 --> 00:34:08,218
Okay.
740
00:34:08,218 --> 00:34:10,082
I've been doing this
a long time alone,
741
00:34:10,082 --> 00:34:14,086
so it may just take me...
a minute to adjust.
742
00:34:14,086 --> 00:34:15,570
Hey. Come here.
743
00:34:15,570 --> 00:34:16,640
Look.
744
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,504
I got a minute.
745
00:34:19,954 --> 00:34:21,438
Okay?
746
00:34:21,438 --> 00:34:24,062
Okay.
747
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:27,375
♪ ...and now
748
00:34:27,375 --> 00:34:33,485
♪ Somewhere in between
749
00:34:33,485 --> 00:34:38,076
♪ Right here and now
750
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,663
I'm not pregnant.
751
00:34:42,977 --> 00:34:46,429
Are you... disappointed?
752
00:34:47,982 --> 00:34:50,122
I think I want
another kid.
753
00:34:51,019 --> 00:34:52,918
I thought you said
you didn't want biological kids.
754
00:34:52,918 --> 00:34:53,919
I didn't.
755
00:34:53,919 --> 00:34:55,955
But this would be
with you.
756
00:34:57,543 --> 00:34:59,511
And you don't have to decide
right now.
757
00:34:59,511 --> 00:35:02,445
And I wouldn't want to
do it until Luna is
a little bit older.
758
00:35:02,445 --> 00:35:05,448
But... I want to
do this right.
759
00:35:05,448 --> 00:35:06,966
Us.
760
00:35:06,966 --> 00:35:08,830
Which means I want you
to know
761
00:35:08,830 --> 00:35:10,763
everything that's in
my head,
762
00:35:10,763 --> 00:35:13,663
no matter how terrifying
it might be.
763
00:35:13,663 --> 00:35:15,630
♪ Between here
764
00:35:15,630 --> 00:35:19,082
♪ And now
765
00:35:20,083 --> 00:35:22,361
If you you want to have
a baby together...
766
00:35:22,361 --> 00:35:24,536
♪ Somewhere in between...
767
00:35:24,536 --> 00:35:26,296
...I can get there.
768
00:35:26,296 --> 00:35:28,333
It's just gonna take me
some time.
769
00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:30,369
Okay.
770
00:35:33,441 --> 00:35:37,790
We still have to pick up
the babies we do have.
771
00:35:37,790 --> 00:35:38,826
Right.
772
00:35:38,826 --> 00:35:42,554
♪ Right here and now
773
00:35:42,554 --> 00:35:49,216
♪ Does anybody know
where the pretty horses go? ♪
774
00:35:49,216 --> 00:35:51,563
I smell like puke, and I haven't
had time to change.
775
00:35:51,563 --> 00:35:53,737
Mm.
Too tired to notice.
776
00:35:56,015 --> 00:35:58,466
Did you know fast track
was going to suck that much
777
00:35:58,466 --> 00:35:59,881
when you assigned me?
778
00:35:59,881 --> 00:36:01,780
My night wasn't
much better.
779
00:36:04,058 --> 00:36:05,887
Well...
780
00:36:05,887 --> 00:36:09,305
I should probably go back
to the hellish life I've chosen.
781
00:36:09,305 --> 00:36:12,204
Oh, at least you're done
with medical school.
782
00:36:12,204 --> 00:36:14,517
Amen to that.
783
00:36:16,277 --> 00:36:18,590
Hey, I'm sorry
about last night.
784
00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:20,212
I tried to put you
on that impalement,
785
00:36:20,212 --> 00:36:23,905
but my, uh, "co-chief"
overruled me.
786
00:36:29,877 --> 00:36:31,534
You actually
repaired it?
787
00:36:31,534 --> 00:36:33,260
Like, I'll be able
to walk?
788
00:36:33,260 --> 00:36:35,745
The hope is you will regain
full function.
789
00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:39,231
Can you wiggle your toes
for me?
790
00:36:42,061 --> 00:36:44,685
Am I doing it?
791
00:36:44,685 --> 00:36:46,514
It looks like it.
792
00:36:46,514 --> 00:36:49,759
Oh, I never thought performing
a basic motor function
793
00:36:49,759 --> 00:36:51,139
would make me so happy.
794
00:36:51,139 --> 00:36:53,072
Well, we will let you get
some rest.
795
00:36:53,072 --> 00:36:57,249
Let's do Q2 neuro checks
and an MRI in the morning.
796
00:36:57,249 --> 00:36:58,630
Mm-hmm.
797
00:37:01,736 --> 00:37:04,463
Maybe I should be
a neurosurgeon.
798
00:37:04,463 --> 00:37:07,777
Yeah.
Um, about that.
799
00:37:07,777 --> 00:37:09,330
I got some bad news.
800
00:37:10,607 --> 00:37:12,747
Third year of med school
is gonna break you.
801
00:37:12,747 --> 00:37:15,233
Bring it.
802
00:37:27,659 --> 00:37:29,005
How's he doing?
803
00:37:30,524 --> 00:37:32,008
He's okay.
804
00:37:32,008 --> 00:37:35,114
Psych's evaluating him
now.
805
00:37:37,979 --> 00:37:40,154
What you said
up there...
806
00:37:41,466 --> 00:37:43,157
...if you ever want to talk
about--
807
00:37:43,157 --> 00:37:45,090
I don't.
808
00:38:03,626 --> 00:38:06,422
You being quiet
is very unsettling.
809
00:38:06,422 --> 00:38:10,184
Typical night shift
or something specific?
810
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,498
Taryn, uh, betrayed me.
811
00:38:13,498 --> 00:38:15,293
Helm cheated on you?
812
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:18,330
She blocked me from getting
a really good case.
813
00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:21,851
Oh. That is...
That is so much worse.
814
00:38:21,851 --> 00:38:24,612
Yeah.
I haven't talked to her yet.
815
00:38:24,612 --> 00:38:29,790
I am... trying to stay calm,
but I'm just.--
816
00:38:29,790 --> 00:38:30,998
Give me your hand.
817
00:38:32,379 --> 00:38:33,656
Why?
818
00:38:33,656 --> 00:38:36,037
Just give it to me.
819
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,903
Okay.
820
00:38:45,909 --> 00:38:47,566
It's acupressure.
821
00:38:47,566 --> 00:38:50,811
My mom used to do it for me
when I was stressed,
822
00:38:50,811 --> 00:38:52,675
and it's like one
823
00:38:52,675 --> 00:38:55,574
of only three things she ever
did that actually helped me.
824
00:38:55,574 --> 00:38:57,369
Much like the cells
in our body,
825
00:38:57,369 --> 00:38:59,820
humans often isolate
to avoid harm.
826
00:38:59,820 --> 00:39:01,511
What were the other two?
827
00:39:01,511 --> 00:39:04,963
I can't think of them right now,
but I'm sure they exist.
828
00:39:06,413 --> 00:39:08,346
Somewhere.
829
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,658
The truth is,
no single part of the body
830
00:39:10,658 --> 00:39:12,488
can thrive on its own.
831
00:39:12,488 --> 00:39:14,835
Your organs work together
as a system.
832
00:39:14,835 --> 00:39:18,045
They'll compensate for
each other when one gets weak.
833
00:39:18,045 --> 00:39:21,117
Hey.
How you doing?
834
00:39:21,117 --> 00:39:23,430
Maggie told me that the divorce
papers are coming in today.
835
00:39:23,430 --> 00:39:25,535
Hey.
Sophia is doing well.
836
00:39:25,535 --> 00:39:28,262
I haven't had a rush like that
in... a long time.
837
00:39:28,262 --> 00:39:29,884
We should do that more often.
838
00:39:29,884 --> 00:39:31,265
Oh, you mean
more tragedy?
839
00:39:31,265 --> 00:39:33,198
I don't get
trauma surgeons.
840
00:39:33,198 --> 00:39:36,546
Hey. Morning.
You exhausted?
841
00:39:36,546 --> 00:39:38,410
Strangely, no.
842
00:39:38,410 --> 00:39:40,516
Chief, you're on the schedule
tomorrow.
843
00:39:40,516 --> 00:39:41,896
TAVR.
844
00:39:41,896 --> 00:39:43,691
- I e-mailed you the case.
- I'm cleared?
845
00:39:43,691 --> 00:39:46,625
You're cleared.
And I need some time off.
846
00:39:46,625 --> 00:39:48,109
Right.
847
00:39:48,109 --> 00:39:49,421
Congratulations.
Thank you.
848
00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:51,319
All right.
I'm gonna go check my e-mails.
849
00:39:51,319 --> 00:39:53,425
Oh. I left the laundry
in the washer.
850
00:39:53,425 --> 00:39:55,254
And Leo is at a play date,
but your mom's car is acting up,
851
00:39:55,254 --> 00:39:58,050
- so you need to pick him up.
- Copy that.
852
00:39:58,050 --> 00:39:59,569
Back down to earth.
853
00:39:59,569 --> 00:40:01,433
People can do the same
for each other,
854
00:40:01,433 --> 00:40:03,470
stepping up
when someone else is down.
855
00:40:03,470 --> 00:40:05,299
You waited for me.
856
00:40:05,299 --> 00:40:09,096
After that night?
Of course I did.
857
00:40:09,096 --> 00:40:10,925
Come on.
858
00:40:10,925 --> 00:40:14,791
There was a girl in my med
school that took her own life.
859
00:40:14,791 --> 00:40:18,554
I didn't know her well,
but she was top of our class,
860
00:40:18,554 --> 00:40:21,280
like, a real overachiever.
861
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,249
Isn't that
what medical schools want,
862
00:40:24,249 --> 00:40:25,733
overachievers
and perfectionists?
863
00:40:25,733 --> 00:40:27,942
Put them
in a pressure cooker
864
00:40:27,942 --> 00:40:30,462
and add unrealistic
expectations.
865
00:40:30,462 --> 00:40:33,120
That's a recipe
for mental illness.
866
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,571
Especially if you're
already struggling.
867
00:40:35,571 --> 00:40:37,849
Well, it's a good thing
your residents have you
868
00:40:37,849 --> 00:40:40,092
looking out for them.
869
00:40:40,092 --> 00:40:43,268
It's a good thing I have you
looking out for me.
870
00:40:45,097 --> 00:40:49,688
Isolating ourselves
often makes us feel more alone.
871
00:40:49,688 --> 00:40:53,865
♪ When enough of us show up
872
00:40:53,865 --> 00:40:56,868
♪ When enough of us cry out
873
00:40:56,868 --> 00:40:58,490
♪ When enough of us say no
874
00:40:58,490 --> 00:41:01,528
Hey.
875
00:41:04,392 --> 00:41:05,808
Can we talk?
876
00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:09,363
I had a--
I had a really long night.
877
00:41:09,363 --> 00:41:10,640
Right.
878
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:14,333
Um... I'll go.
879
00:41:14,333 --> 00:41:15,162
Wait.
880
00:41:15,162 --> 00:41:22,134
♪ Enough
881
00:41:22,134 --> 00:41:25,621
♪ Oh, yeah
882
00:41:25,621 --> 00:41:33,560
♪ Enough
883
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,700
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
884
00:41:35,700 --> 00:41:38,426
♪ Enough
885
00:41:38,426 --> 00:41:41,360
♪ When I got a call from you
886
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,087
♪ It was a shock to my heart
887
00:41:44,087 --> 00:41:48,575
We're usually better together,
even when we're struggling.
888
00:41:48,575 --> 00:41:50,784
♪ Am I doing my part?
889
00:41:57,100 --> 00:41:59,827
You are not alone.
890
00:41:59,827 --> 00:42:02,416
If you or someone you know
is in crisis or needs support,
891
00:42:02,416 --> 00:42:05,419
there are resources
that can help you.
892
00:42:05,419 --> 00:42:08,733
Call or text 988
893
00:42:08,733 --> 00:42:14,290
or visit www.988lifeline.org
894
00:42:14,290 --> 00:42:17,465
for the Suicide and Crisis
Lifeline.
895
00:42:17,465 --> 00:42:21,124
For worldwide help,
visit findahelpline.org.
896
00:42:27,165 --> 00:42:30,133
Captions by VITAC--