Meredith: The brain stores a single memory
in millions of neurons.
♪ Another day
♪ Another hill to climb
♪ Feel the rush
♪ In the morning rise
♪ My, oh, my [ Moaning ]
[ Mika groans ]
♪ My, oh, my
[ Sighs ]
[ Muffled moaning ] Ohh.
Oh, this has got to stop. I'm losing my mind.
How are you sleeping through this?
Kwanie? Kwan-Kwan!
♪ Keep up
Hi. So sorry. Who are you?
There's a neuron that holds the smell
of your prom date's cologne.
Another neuron contains the sound
of your dress being zipped up.
And one for your favorite song you danced to that night.
Are you going to work? It's 3:00 in the morning.
Tell that to Griffith.
Hey, who's that girl in your room? No one.
Why are you down here? Does she snore?
I'm going back to sleep.
To remember the whole evening,
you need all of these neurons to communicate with each other
to make a complete picture.
But when the brain experiences trauma,
these neurons can be starved of oxygen and die.
Ugh, they forgot to place a supply order last week.
We're down to the last case of 4x4.
- Can we steal from cardio? - If we can borrow a nurse for clinic.
Yeah. How did this place survive a week without us?
Beyond me. Hey, do you know a Nora Young?
Yeah, she grew up down the street from me.
She was one of my sister's friends. Why?
Well, Megan's sending her here.
She has a perfed esophagus from a Nissen procedure.
They tried to repair it, but it still has a leak.
[ Sighs ] You know, I haven't seen Nora in years.
She was kind of a pain. Very bossy and tightly wound.
I mean assertive and goal-oriented.
Instead of complete memories, you're left with glimpses.
Good morning.
I hope you are ready to hit the ground running.
I've got some new ideas for genetic targets.
Is that a new PCR machine?
Where'd that come from?
Dr. Ridgeson got an NIH grant.
Kate Ridgeson?
Why's she putting her equipment in my lab?
It's her lab now.
♪ Get gone, gravity
Right.♪ You ain't got control on me
Of course. No sense letting a lab
sit idle for one whole week.
I will check in with operations and, uh, see what's available.
♪ Keep up
A smell, a taste, a feeling.
♪
Morning.
And once you start losing bits of memory...
♪
[ Clears throat ]
Guess I'll take the stairs.
...there's no way to get them back.
There is supposed to be a ding before the doors open.
- Where was the ding? - Okay. Let's take a step back.
She's seen plenty of people kiss.
She's our boss, one of our many bosses--
Exactly. She has way more important things
to worry about today.
We are gonna go out there, like the badasses we are,
like nothing happened, and all will be well.
[ Both exhale deeply ]
[ Door opens ]
Have you seen Catherine?
Uh, she should be here soon.
Excuse you. I was here first.
Well, this can't wait.
Uh, didn't you get fired?
I wouldn't use those words.
[ Door opens ]
Dr. Fox, do you have a minute?
Okay, I know we've had our differences,
but I would like to talk to you
about coming back as residency director.
We had an appointment to discuss my research.
Didn't we, Dr. Fox?
Call my assistant
and make an appointment, Dr. Bailey, please.
D-- Oh.
Put on heels for this.
Sit.
You've got some nerve.
How about, "Thank you
for flying all the way across the country to check on me
'cause no one knows I'm being treated
for Budd-Chiari syndrome"?
Do you have a butterfly?
Go easy, now.
Or what? You'll fire me?
Over there. Okay, thanks.
Okay, but if she's his cousin,
then why wouldn't he just say that, right?
Simone: Kwan has some mystery woman visiting.
Lucas: Good for him. I don't care.
You know what's gonna be fun?
July, when you're an intern again
- and we're all your bosses. - Ha-ha.
Hi. Hello. Hi. - Good morning. - Morning.
- Where's Kwan? - Blue: Here. I'm here.
Okay, for a second there, I thought you were sick,
Which is a great reminder.
If you're feeling under the weather, do not get together,
because I-I really-- I cannot have you dropping like flies.
I'm going to bring up the schedule now.
What's she doing here?
She wanted me to tell her about us.
At the hospital?
Yeah. She refused to leave.
Guess the amnesia didn't erase her stubborn streak.
Okay, so, Griffith, you're with Altman.
Yasuda, you're with Beltran.
Uh, Shepherd is back,
so, Millin, you'll be with her in neuro.
Kwan, you're with Hunt. Oh, and, Adams,
it looks like you are all set to help me with progress notes.
Although Ndugu did request you, so it's your call.
Uh, maybe I should just see what Ndugu wants.
Oh, yeah. Great idea.
Ooh, so if anybody wants to do a switcheroo,
I have a spot open with me.
So-- And we-- Sure. No. Okay.
Yeah.
Go, team! [ Laughs ]
If you take down a dressing to look at a wound,
you have to redo it.
I have my own job, okay?
I can't follow you around all day cleaning up your messes.
She does not hold back, does she?
She does not.
And yesterday I would've thrown down.
But today I am trying something new.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Professional detachment.
I know I'm not getting the peds fellowship.
I saw the list of ranked applicants.
Somebody left it at the nurses' station.
I'm sorry. I-I wanted to tell you.
It's okay.
I-I knew my ABSITE wasn't competitive enough,
and I don't have the research experience.
[ Sighs ] I will find something else.
No question.
Alright, let's go round.
Cal: Did you know that there are more than 200 frozen dead people
- on Mount Everest? - Mika: That's nothing.
Ever hear of a little boat called the Titanic?
Monica: Elvis died on the toilet.
Not that you know who that is.
James: Heart attack, not constipation.
Common misconception.
- Lovely. - I'm the cool chaplain.
Eddie: Ever since Cal's mom died,
he's, uh, been a little obsessed with death.
Oh, I was obsessed with embalming when I was your age,
so I get it.
- Yasuda? - Mika: Cal Huang, 15.
Diagnosed eight years ago with Li-Fraumeni syndrome,
a genetic disorder associated
with an increased likelihood of cancer.
He's in remission for an adrenocortical carcinoma
treated two years ago.
Admitted from clinic for a work-up
of his increasing mid-back pain.
He hasn't been able to sleep, barely has an appetite.
It's another tumor, isn't it?
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
We need to run some more tests
to get to the bottom of this pain.
But your labs have come back normal so far.
Yeah, Dr. Schmitt's right. One step at a time.
Dr. Yasuda will take you to get your CT scan,
and I'll come check on you when we have the results.
Is now a good time to talk about
getting the funding for my research project back?
Do you want my clot to just blow?
Meredith.
Why didn't you tell me you were coming back to town?
D-Did you change your mind?
Are you back at the Fox Foundation?
- I'm working out the details. - What does that mean?
What's happening with the research funding?
- Did Catherine say something? - Now's not really a good time.
Why won't you give me a straight answer?
Can we talk about this later? I'm checking on a patient.
Your scans are up. Liver cancer?
What?
That liver's covered in tumors.
♪
Dr. Ndugu?
I was told you requested me.
Yeah, I did.
Dr. Pierce said you declined her offer in Chicago.
Yeah, it was a great opportunity,
but I'm happy where I am.
Well, we have some great opportunities here, too.
How about you join us today in the skills lab?
Yeah, we're setting up a vascular anastomosis lab
for the residents.
Teddy: Dr. Webber, I've been looking for you.
I wanted to thank you for holding down the fort
while I was gone.
I was overlooking the OR schedule,
and it is a mess without Bailey,
so I hope it's okay, but I took the liberty
of filling up your schedule for the next two weeks.
And don't worry. It's not all hernias.
Who said you should do that?
Well, it's the chief's job to oversee the schedule.
You're not the chief.
Well, Catherine said that I had my job back.
You are employed as a cardiothoracic surgeon.
Now, when you can do that job without breaking the rules
or without stealing any money, then we'll see about chief.
I see.
Okay. Thank you.
We've been at this a while.
What do you say we, uh, get out of here,
- take a break? - That's not necessary.
Maybe not for you.
I haven't left the hospital in 36 hours.
You golf, right?
You too, Adams.
So, are you going to tell me who she is,
or am I going to have to pry it out of you?
- Hey. Welcome back. - Thanks.
Let's go.
EMT: Nora Young, 46, female.
Status post Nissen fundoplication,
complicated by an esophageal perforation,
post primary repair with ongoing leak and infection.
Rooster, look at you, all grown up.
Hi, Nora. Is she talking to you?
Afraid so. Ah.
Owen-- Uh, sorry, Dr. Hunt.
God, that sounds weird.
Dr. hunt played Rooster
in Taft Middle School's nineteen eighty--
oh, the year doesn't matter-- production of "Annie."
You're a theater kid?
Listen, I did one play for extra credit.
He wore suspenders, and his little voice cracked.
Okay, uh, this is my wife, Dr. Teddy Altman.
She's gonna be taking care of you.
- Welcome to Grey-Sloan. - Thank you so much.
I know you're busy. Megan said you're the boss.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah. Well, I'm glad to help.
Any friend of Megan's is a friend of ours.
Alright, we'll upload those scans from the last hospital
- and take it from there. - Thank you.
Let's go.
Hey, hey. Um...
You okay? Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.
Hey, uh, I have to do a baptism.
Could you give this to Cal?
A coffin catalog?
Yeah, he-- he really wanted camo,
but the closest I could find was Army green.
He's 15.
He has a genetic disorder that predisposes him to cancer.
Okay, you don't need to explain
my patient's pathology to me.
If you want to give this to him, which I highly advise against,
you'll have to do it yourself.
Are you at peace with mortality, Doctor?
Father, with all due respect--
It's Reverend. But you can call me James.
Great. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work.
Is that a coffin catalog?
So, good news is it looks like a benign schwannoma
of the thoracic group, but it's huge.
Can we resect it?
I don't see how. It's so close to the spine.
Look at all of the consults that haven't yet scheduled procedures
and try to get some of those on the books.
Dr. Shepherd, I didn't know you were back.
Oh, well, yeah, just trying to ease back in.
Well, sorry to mess up your plans,
but could you take a look at this?
I can't figure out the right approach.
- Wow, that is a puzzle. - Yeah.
Do you think you could squeeze in a consult?
He's in a lot of pain.
I think I can probably shuffle some things around.
Let's schedule an MRI
and a spinal 3-D reconstruction on these scans.
So this is it. This is how I die.
We don't know that.
[ Scoffs ] I know my primary cancer, Meredith.
The scan tells me it's mets or new cancer.
Neither is a good option.
We won't know that for sure until we get further testing.
Don't placate me.
Fine. You don't want me to placate you.
You need to tell Richard. No.
He can help you through this. No, Meredith.
He would want to help you.
Do you know how many complications I have every year?
Low neutrophils, pain in my back,
pain in my chest, pain in my ass.
I don't want Richard panicking every month,
every week, putting his life on hold,
waiting to see if I'm going to die.
It's not over. This is not the end.
Maybe not for you, but it is for me.
This is gonna sound weird given where I am right now,
but I feel like a movie star.
You're right. That does sound weird.
I have four kids.
My life is laundry and making lunches.
And today I was whisked away in a plane,
and you're giving me blankets I didn't even wash.
Probably sounds so sad to you.
Are you kidding? I don't know how moms do it.
SSRIs and wine.
At least that's how I do it.
Do you always want a big family?
I wanted to be a White House reporter.
Then I met my husband.
His family has a sugar beet farm in the country.
And it's this big operation.
Every farmer needs his wife.
Needed. We're at the finish line of a long divorce.
I'm sorry. I'm not.
After this, we'll check on your labs and CT,
and then Dr. Altman will be back to discuss next steps.
How did she end up on this floor?
Are you hooking up with a patient's granddaughter?
No.
Hey, you shouldn't be here in the ICU.
Um, I brought you a bagel.
I saw you didn't eat anything this morning.
I never eat breakfast.
And that used to drive you crazy.
Well, it's the most important meal of the day.
Coffee is the most important meal of the day.
If we were engaged, why could I only find one photo of you?
I don't know.
How did we meet?
At a Halloween party.
You were dressed up as a giant disco ball.
It was so big that you couldn't
fit in through the bathroom door.
I was waiting to go next,
and then you asked me if I could hug the costume
so you could squeeze in.
We looked so dumb, and we couldn't stop laughing.
And I saw your reflection
on the tiny little mirrors on the costume.
And I remember thinking...
there's no view of this person I didn't like.
Well, that must have been nice,
to be loved like that.
Why did we break up?
It was complicated.
What does that mean?
[ Monitor beeping rapidly ] Code blue!
Woman: Code blue, fourth floor...
I need a crash cart in here now!
Code blue, fourth floor, surgical ICU.
There.
Ahh.
Okay, northeasterly breeze.
Show you fellas how this is done.
♪
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. No.
[ Thudding ]
Isn't the hole over there?
Maybe the sun got in his eyes.
Alright, I'm a little rusty. That's okay.
- Adams, you any good? - I'm alright.
Okay.
That was just alright?
Well, compared to the guys I normally play with.
I think this young man just insulted us, Dr. Ndugu.
Hey, you saw where my ball went.
Well, let's see if I still got it.
[ Clears throat ]
Whew! That's a beauty right there.
You're going down.
[ Laughter ]
Teddy: Alright, bring me up to speed.
She vomited over a liter of blood.
We can't get a read on her BP anymore.
- She's about to code. - Alright, with this much bleeding,
it could be an upper GI or an aorto-esophageal fistula.
Griffith, you're gonna help me place a Minnesota tube.
I need Kerlix, an IV bag, and X-ray.
I'm in. - Color change noted. - Great.
Griffith, have you ever placed a balloon tamponade?
You're gonna take this. It is just like an OG tube.
You are gonna place a catheter
down the throat behind the ET tube.
Yep.
I think I'm in the stomach.
Inflate the gastric balloon.
Alright, let me take a look.
Perfect. Alright, let's get X-ray out of here.
We need to engage traction.
Alright, Kwan, hook up suction to the esophageal port.
Good, good, good.
You're right. Bleeding must be coming from the esophagus.
Alright, inflate the esophageal balloon.
We have seconds before she codes.
- Should we hang another unit? - Yes. Where are we, Griffith?
Esophageal balloon is inflated.
Great job, everyone. What's the plan?
TEVAR and stent to cover the fistula?
Excellent. Alright, Kwan, book and IR suite.
Bleeding has stopped.
Dr. Bailey.
Dr. Bailey, I need a consult.
Oh, go ask someone on the payroll.
If this is about this morning, I'm sorry.
[ Scoffs ] Are you?
Well, you didn't seem sorry when you brazenly
got in the way of me trying to get my job back.
And you don't seem sorry at all that Sydney Heron
is still bossing my interns around.
Wait. Sydney Heron's back?
Yeah, in all her perky, passive-aggressive glory.
So you need a consult, page her.
I'm not paging Sydney Heron.
Well, call Webber.
I can't. And why not?
Because the patient doesn't want him to know.
Amelia: Alright, what are we looking at?
Jules: The schwannoma has invaded this spinal column,
and now it is compressing the cord.
Well, it's incredible that he made it this long
without becoming symptomatic.
Yeah, well, he spent his life in and out of hospitals.
At this point, his pain tolerance is very high.
Mika: Can't imagine being 15, knowing that every moment,
your cells could be mutating into cancer,
and still have to take a geometry final.
Levi: If we do an anterior approach,
we won't be able to assess the posterior margins.
And if we go in posteriorly,
we can't access the thoracic component.
Can we just turn him over during surgery?
Well, we wouldn't have to if he's on his side.
Dr. Beltran, you could open his chest
and work from front to back,
and then I could open his back and work my way forward.
You think that's too risky?
I think risky is all Cal has.
Let's go talk to him and his dad.
Um, Cal's not in his room.
Where is he? The chaplain said
that he was taking him somewhere and not to worry.
[ Sighs ] What?
He's part of the care team.
Nora has an aorto-esophageal fistula,
and I can't find anyone to help me repair her esophagus.
Why is no one answering OR six?
I'm sure we can find someone to help.
Are you magic? Can you just pull someone out of thin air?
Because Bailey works across the street,
Richard has taken the day off,
and Sydney Heron's in an emergency debridement.
- Who's Sydney Heron? - She's the new Bailey.
And she's an acquired taste which I will never have.
Pretty sure Richard wouldn't mind coming in for an emergency.
I don't think - that's a good idea. - Why not?
He could do an esophageal stent in his sleep.
Richard is not stepping down from chief.
He said that he doesn't trust me.
So I don't think that he and I should be operating together.
Could you finish up in here, please?
Thanks.
What do you mean he said he doesn't trust you?
What did you say to that?
Nothing. His mind is made up.
Alright, you know what I'm gonna do?
I am gonna call in Richard,
and I'll just replace myself.
Beckman can do it.
No, Nora came all this way to see you.
I'll do it. I'll stent the esophagus.
Tis is your first day back in the trauma room.
And you are the best damn CT surgeon in this whole hospital.
Let me help. Thank you. Okay.
I'll see you in the OR.
Meredith: She doesn't want any type of intervention.
I practically had to hold her down for her blood draw.
I don't blame her. She's been through a lot.
I didn't think you and Catherine
were exactly on good terms these days.
Are you on good terms with all of your patients?
She's a trailblazer. I respect her.
She paved the way, showed me what was possible.
I owe her my career, even if I'm sidelined right now.
Although, in fairness, that was my decision.
Okay, look, see, these masses
look like they've been growing for a while.
By now, wouldn't you think there'd be mets
in other places, too?
It could be a different primary cancer.
What if it isn't cancer at all?
Maybe hemangiomas or other fatty changes from ischemia.
The odds of that are almost nonexistent.
It's Catherine Fox. Anything's possible.
[ Indistinct conversation ]
Hey, what are you doing out here?
Cal: Just planning my funeral
in case I croak.
Levi: You're not dying.
What you have is a benign tumor
that we are going to remove today.
Yasuda, will you please take Cal up to his room?
Mika: Alright. Train's leaving.
He wanted to plan his funeral.
I know that he'll likely get more cancers,
and I know that one of them will probably take his life.
But I can't think about that right now,
because I have to focus on removing the gigantic one
that's impinging on his spine.
That's quite the God complex you have there.
- I'm doing my job. - Screw your job.
Be a person.
His whole obsession with death,
the facts, the jokes-- he's scared.
He's telling you he is scared.
He has an incurable genetic disease.
I can't fix that for him. I can't make that go away.
And if I can't, there's sure as hell nothing you can do.
Look, you might have more schooling than me.
You might get more respect.
You don't have all the answers
And you do?
I don't have any answers.
All I can do is listen.
You should try it.
♪
Found it!
Oh, no. It's a rock.
[ Laughs ]
Your uncle and I had a standing game
every week in the summer.
Yeah, he was obnoxiously good at everything.
Not golf.
All the way he shanked that ball.
How'd you get to be so good?
Oh, my dad pushed me to learn.
Said it'd helped me socialize with my colleagues one day.
I guess he had a point.
Yeah, sometimes I forget.
It's nice to get out of the hospital with your colleagues.
Actually, now that I think about it,
your uncle and I used to play with Phil Kopelman.
He's an ENT, but now he runs the outreach over at the ACGME.
Wouldn't hurt to give him a call.
You think he could do something about my remediation?
He's a fair guy.
I mean, if he doesn't feel that the punishment fits the crime,
I'm sure he'll do what he can.
But, um, don't tell Catherine I said that.
Yeah, we don't talk that much.
Here it is. Look at that. Not too far from the green.
You're still in the rough, Ndugu.
This is not a good time.
We just need two minutes.
I am not in the mood
to debate anybody's employment status.
We're here to discuss your health.
My health is fine. Thank you.
- She's seen the scans. - Damn it, Grey.
You can believe that I'm gonna sue you for breaking HIPAA.
Your lawyers know where to find me.
I needed a consult.
Can't you give me the dignity of just dying in private?
But what if it isn't cancer?
You saw the scans.
I did, and while they are concerning,
there's a chance that the lesions
are a benign finding
of your subacute Budd-Chiari syndrome.
And we could do a biopsy to find out.
My liver is teeming with lesions.
A biopsy could cause bleeding, a stroke.
It's dangerous. It's absurd.
Why would you even recommend that?
Because it's what Richard taught me to do.
And I think it's what he would want.
[ Cellphone buzzing ] Mm.
Richard's ears are burning.
♪
Um, what's happening?
I don't know.
Is she having the stroke now?
Well, come on. Y'all want to talk?
- Let's go talk. - Okay, okay.
Dr. Cunningham to the OR.
Dr. Nyema Cunningham to the OR.
How's your patient doing?
I have to take her up to surgery in a few minutes.
Oh, does that mean you have a minute to talk?
I really should head back upstairs.
I can't leave here until I know our whole story.
I swear, I'm not trying to take advantage.
I know your time is valuable.
Does it really matter what happened?
You seem happy.
That doesn't mean I don't want answers.
I mean, until Dave,
this was the most significant relationship in my entire life.
I have no idea why it ended.
I mean, wouldn't you want to know?
You don't have any pictures of me
because you deleted them all.
I came home one night,
and you were crying on the floor.
You had found out that I had cheated on you.
We-- We were young.
The wedding was getting closer, and I kept thinking about
how my mom wasn't gonna be there.
And it was a stupid, drunk mistake
that I have regretted every single day since.
I'm sure it was devastating at the time,
but I'm okay now.
You don't have anything to regret.
I haven't even told you the worst part.
After we fought, you got in the car.
And an hour later,
I got a call that you had been in a wreck.
The accident?
♪
Yeah, well, that was nobody's fault.
No, but if you hadn't been so upset, then I--
I stopped thinking that way a long time ago.
I'm at peace with it.
I got to start over.
♪
Amelia: More suction, please.
Alright, how's it going over there?
Making my final cut.
Great. Millin, more traction.
Alright, someone get a basin ready.
I'm going to remove the last piece.
We got the whole tumor?
Well, path will confirm,
but to my eye, the margins look good.
[ Rapid beeping ] No, no, no, no, no, no. He's bleeding.
Where? I can't see.
Do you have anything on your side?
- No, nothing. - Lap pads.
Could it be bleeding from the vessel feeding the tumor?
It seems to be coming from normal tissue.
Ah, found it. Dr. Schmitt is correct.
It's coming from an intercostal artery.
Millin, I'm gonna have you tie it off.
Right angle and silk tie, please.
Thank you.
You got it?
Jules: Alright. Like this?
Yeah. Good.
Make sure the knot is square.
- That's great. - Okay. What now?
Now we celebrate.
Great job, everybody.
Monica: Dr. Schmitt, after we take him to post-op,
would you like to tell his dad the good news?
On it.
Teddy: Deploying the stent.
She didn't seem bossy to me.
Nora and Megan used to make me pitch batting practice to them,
and they would heckle me,
in very colorful language, I might add.
Bet she didn't expect to put her life in your hands.
Okay, let's get ready to inject the dye.
Okay. [ Alarm beeping ]
Damn it. Get me a balloon for dilation.
- Griffith, what do you see? - Blood is coming from the stent.
Correct. Kwan, next steps?
You dilate the balloon to push the stent into the aortic wall
- to stop the leak. - Good job.
Alright. Inserting the balloon.
Alright, balloon is in. Inflating the balloon.
♪
Good.
Alright, inject the dye.
Simone: Leak is fixed.
- Great work, everyone. - Let's remove the sheath
so Dr. Hunt can place the esophageal stent.
Levi: The surgery couldn't have gone better.
Thank you. Cal's a great kid.
When he wakes up, I found a killer death fact for him.
Oh. That was actually unintentional.
[ Rapid beeping ] Get me lorazepam.
- What's happening? - Page Beltran and Shepherd.
- On it. - Okay. You're okay. I'm here.
Now, that's what you call a birdie.
I'd just like to state that if we played football,
I would have wiped the floor with both of you.
I wouldn't be so sure.
Why don't you go return the cart?
[ Laughs ]
Well, we still got some daylight.
You want to go hit some on the driving range?
[ Laughs ]
What?
You don't see how ridiculous it is
that you're worried about losing steam in the operating room?
You've got more focus and stamina than an intern.
Look, golf is different.
It's not that different.
Both take endurance and concentration,
that fire in your belly.
Look, I made a mistake.
Yeah, we all make mistakes.
Not everybody is over 65.
Yeah, I don't buy it. Don't get me wrong.
It's good that you're taking stock.
It'd be irresponsible not to.
But from where I stand, you're still going strong.
[ Siren wailing in distance ]
Why do they have to have peanut shells on the floor?
Uh, do you want to go someplace else?
There's a nice, um, sushi restaurant across the street.
No, this is the one place
Richard won't think to look for me.
Would you like to discuss your options?
I understand my pros and cons.
What I don't know is if I have the fortitude, the energy.
My body is tired.
And what you're asking, more surgery,
another treatment--
Unless it's benign.
We know the odds of that are minuscule.
But they're not nothing.
Catherine Fox, well, I expected more from you.
You have shattered every glass ceiling, beaten every odd.
Right? Why are you giving up?
You better watch your tone
if you want your job back, Dr. Bailey.
Look, I'll find another job if I need to,
but come on, you have so much to live for.
Why won't you try?
Do you think I'm just sitting back,
waiting for death to come and snuff me out?
Most days I feel like the same young woman I was
with the world at my feet.
But I don't believe in miracles. I believe in science.
And the science is not on my side.
Maybe. Or maybe not.
But we won't know unless you let us do the biopsy.
How many of your patients have beaten the odds?
Why them and not you?
Fine. Do the damn biopsy.
But one of you pay for the drinks.
[ Siren wailing in distance ]
I'm glad you called Megan when you did.
You were a lot sicker than anyone realized.
We almost lost you.
Yeah, but now you're gonna make a full recovery.
Thank you, all of you.
- Our pleasure. - It's Megan.
Are you okay if I give her the update?
Please. I owe her my life.
Okay, let's order some post-op labs.
- Mm-hmm. - Thanks.
You really grew up to look like your dad.
I can't believe you remember him.
I mean, you must have been 6 or 7 when he died.
He put me on his shoulders once
so I could reach the monkey bars.
I never forgot it.
It was good seeing you.
I got here as fast as I could. What are--
Oh, my God.
Diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma.
With satellite lesions.
But he gets yearly full-body scans.
This was just missed?
It could have been too small to catch on his last one.
I mean, this is a rapid-growing malignant brain tumor.
Soon it is gonna start affecting all of his vital functions--
breathing, blood pressure, heart.
Jules: Isn't there anything we can do for him?
Radiation, chemo?
I mean, we could put him through radiation,
but it'll give him maybe two agonizing months.
So it's a death sentence.
I'll go talk to Cal and his dad.
I'll do it. I'll tell them.
[ Siren wailing in distance ]
♪
It's Nurse Karen's birthday.
We tried a dozen different cakes for our wedding.
And you wanted lemon.
I think that was actually our biggest fight.
It never gets less weird.
I mean, I just met you,
but we also fought about cake fight years ago.
You've broken the space-time continuum.
[ Both laugh ]
♪ How to know the storm is close ♪
Yeah.
♪ And not to fear it
I see why I liked you.
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
You're funny and you're smart.
You know, and when you smile, your eyes do this...
this sparkly thing.
No, no, no.
♪ ...to the end
[ Both laugh ]
See? Funny.
You know, and you bring me cake,
even when you've spent all day saving other people's lives.
I don't have feelings about the memories that I've lost,
because, I mean, you can't miss something
that you didn't know happened in the first place.
But I wish I remembered you.
♪ Every little drop of rain
Mm. I-- Wow.
I am-- I'm so, so sorry.
It's fine. No, no, it's, uh--
It's fine. No, no, no, it's--
it's been a long day.
There's a lot going on in my mind.
You're good. It's okay.
Um, I should-- I should get back inside.
♪ With the grand design
But if...
if you ever need anything, you--
I know where to find you.
♪ Dance me to the end
♪ Back to where it all began
♪ Sing me home, sing me home ♪
How long do I have?
♪ Sing me home
Uh, it could be
anywhere from weeks to months.
That's it?
I'm so sorry.
Do you--
Do you have that feeling when school's over
and you're outside playing with all your friends
and it feels like summer could last forever?
It's because our perception of time isn't fixed.
Two months could feel like 10 years,
and 10 years can go by in a blink of an eye.
Hey. Hey, hey.
We-- We can cram a lot into a few months.
♪ Sing me home
[ Crying ] I don't want to die.
[ Sobbing ]
Um...
♪ Oh, sing me home
What do you want to do...
...before you die?
You've always wanted to go to space camp.
Okay. That's a good one.
What else?
I want to go see Mount McKinley.
And reread "Lord of the Rings."
That is-- That is literally one of my favorites, too.
[ Sniffles ]
[ Sobbing ]
Oh, you come in under par? It's okay.
Ndugu told me that you guys hit the links.
I did fine. Must be nice.
- Sorry? - Oh, I've just never had friends in high places.
That's not why I'm here, if that's what you're implying.
I got the highest ABSITE score in my class.
[ Laughing ] Oh, is that-- is that how it works?
Get the highest score, and then they take your golfing?
Guess I should have studied more.
Teddy: I have to hand it to Megan.
She knew something was wrong, and she pushed to make it right.
Megan made a few phone calls. You saved a life.
I'll be right back. Yeah.
Dr. Webber.
I want chief back.
Okay.
I have a whole speech about why I deserve it.
Take the win, Altman.
[ Chuckles ]
♪ Give me something real to long for ♪
I'm gonna stay a little later.
Go do what you need to do.
♪ Every time I feel safe
♪ I find a trapdoor
♪ If I'm down
Today can suck it.
♪ At least I know the score
That poor kid. Mm-hmm.
In less depressing news,
I caught two interns kissing in the elevator.
Oh, nice.
Remember when we were interns
and our futures felt so bright?
Everything was possible.
Now I'm pretty sure Meredith is hiding something from me.
And my department reassigned all of my cases
while I was gone.
I don't know what to do next.
I do.
- Hi. - Hi. I'd say welcome back, but I've been gone, too.
Uh, we're not back.
We need your help.
We're doing a procedure in the clinic.
Can we have a scrub nurse?
A scrub nurse in the clinic?
Okay, who's the attending?
Oh, come on.
I just got my job back.
I know, and I also know that I'm the one responsible
for you losing it, and I would never ask you
if this wasn't a matter of life and death.
Okay. Don't make me regret it.
[ Chuckles ]
James: Hey.
That was rough. You okay?
I thought, uh, that if I walled off the pain...
that it wouldn't hurt.
But...
[Scoffs] I was wrong.
[ Crying ]
♪ Sail
Meredith: There are some memories
we probably wouldn't mind losing.
The deaths, the breakups, the hard times.
You heading out soon?
I'm catching up on Heron's progress notes.
What is gonna happen when you're repeating intern year,
doing notes, changing bandages,
and I get to operate?
♪ The sound is hypnotizing
This isn't about you.
I don't want to be bailed out.
That's what my family does.
But I don't want to be that person.
I want to take responsibility for my mistakes.
♪ Time
But it is a little about me, right?
♪ Here freedom comes
But memories, like neurons,
work together to make you who you are.
♪ Release the weight I'm carrying ♪
♪ And join with the horizon
[ Video game playing ]
What?
Man: Back out! Take cover!
[ Gunfire]
♪ Watch me fly
Hey. You okay?
♪ Sail
Meredith: If all we remembered were the good times...
Alright. Prepare to be vanquished.
Oh, I am going to destroy you.
...our friendships wouldn't be as strong...
Jules, what are you doing? Get out of the corner!
Yep, listen to her.
♪
You okay?
I'm fine, baby.
...and our loves wouldn't be as sweet.
♪ Oh, my love ♪ Oh, my love ♪
♪ A thousand kisses from you ♪ A thousand kisses from you ♪
♪ And it's never too much ♪ And it's never too much ♪
♪ And I just don't want to stop ♪♪ And I just don't want to stop ♪
♪ Oh, my love ♪
Come on. I love it when you sing.
[ Chuckles ]
♪ A million days in your arms ♪ A million days in your arms ♪
♪ And it's never too much ♪ And it's never too much ♪
♪ Never too much, never too much, never too much ♪
Both: ♪ And I just don't want to stop ♪
♪ Never too much, never too much, never too much ♪
Meredith: So cling to the bad along with the good.
One day you'll be glad you did.
♪
- Captions by VITAC--
♪