The brain stores a single memory in millions of neurons.
This has got to stop! I'm losing my mind!
How are you sleeping through this?
Kwany. Kwan-Kwan.
Hi. So sorry.
Who are you?
There's a neuron that holds the smell of your prom date's cologne.
Another neuron contains the sound of your dress being zipped up.
And one for your favorite song you dance to that night.
You going to work? It's 3:00 in the morning.
Tell that to Griffith.
- Hey, who's that girl in your room? - No one.
Why are you down here? Does she snore?
I'm going back to sleep.
To remember the whole evening,
you need all of these neurons to communicate with each other
to make a complete picture.
But when the brain experiences trauma,
these neurons can be starved of oxygen and die.
They forgot to place a supply order last week.
We're down to the last case of 4-by-4. Could we steal from cardio?
- If we can borrow a nurse from clinic. - Yeah.
How did this place survive a week without us?
Beyond me. Hey, do you know a Nora Young?
Yeah, she grew up down the street from me. She was one of my sister's friends. Why?
Well, Megan's sending her here.
She has a perfed esophagus from a Nissen procedure.
They tried to repair it, but it still has a leak.
You know, I haven't seen Nora in years.
She was kind of a pain. Very bossy and tightly wound.
I mean, assertive and goal-orientated.
Instead of complete memories, you're left with glimpses.
Good morning.
I hope you are ready to hit the ground running.
I've got some new ideas for genetic targets.
Is that a new PCR machine? Where did that come from?
Dr. Ridgeson got an NIH grant.
Kate Ridgeson?
Why is she putting her equipment in my lab?
It's her lab now.
Right.
Of course. No sense letting a lab sit idle for one whole week.
I will check in with operations and, uh, see what's available.
A smell...
a taste, a feeling.
Morning.
And once you start losing bits of memory...
Guess I'll take the stairs.
There's no way to get them back.
There's supposed to be a ding before the doors open.
- Where was the ding? - Okay. Uh, let's take a step back.
She's seen plenty of people kiss.
- She's our boss. One of our many bosses-- - Exactly.
She has way more important things to worry about today.
We are gonna go out there
- like the badasses we are. - Yeah.
Like nothing happened.
And all will be well. Okay? Come on.
Okay.
- Have you seen Catherine? - Uh, she should be here soon.
- Excuse you. I was here first. - Well, this can't wait.
- Uh, didn't you get fired? - I wouldn't use those words.
Dr. Fox, do you have a minute?
Okay, I know we've had our differences,
but I would like to talk to you about coming back as residency director.
We had an appointment to discuss my research, didn't we, Dr. Fox?
Call my assistant and make an appointment, Dr. Bailey, please.
Put on my heels for this.
Sit.
You've got some nerve.
How about, "Thank you
for flying all the way across the country to check on me
because nobody knows I'm being treated for Budd-Chiari syndrome."
Do you have a butterfly?
- Go easy now. - Or what? You'll fire me?
Okay, but if she's his cousin, then why wouldn't he just say that?
Mmm.
Kwan has some mystery woman visiting.
- Good for him. I don't care. - You know what's gonna be fun?
July, when you're an intern again and we're all your bosses.
Hi.
- Hello. Hi. Good morning. - Good morning.
- Where's Kwan? - Here. I'm here.
Okay. For a second there I thought you were sick,
which is a great reminder.
If you're feeling under the weather, do not get together.
Because I cannot have you dropping like flies.
I'm gonna bring up the schedule now.
What's she doing here?
She wanted me to tell her about us.
At the hospital?
Yeah, she refused to leave.
Guess the amnesia didn't erase her stubborn streak.
Okay. So, Griffith, you're with Altman.
Yasuda, you're with Beltran.
Uh, Shepherd is back, so, Millin, you'll be with her in neuro.
Kwan, you're with Hunt. Oh, and Adams,
it looks like you are all set to help me with progress notes.
Although Ndugu did request you,
so it's your call.
Uh, maybe I should just see what Ndugu wants.
Oh, yeah, great idea.
Ooh. So if anybody wants to do a switcheroo,
I have a spot open with me.
So... And we... Sure, no. Okay, yeah.
Go team!
If you take down a dressing to look at a wound, you have to redo it.
I have my own job, okay?
I can't follow you around all day cleaning up your messes.
She does not hold back, does she?
She does not.
And yesterday I would have thrown down, but today I am trying something new.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Professional detachment.
I know I'm not getting the peds fellowship.
I saw the list of ranked applicants. Somebody left it at the nurses' station.
- I'm sorry. I... I wanted to tell you. - It's okay.
I, I knew my ABSITE wasn't competitive enough,
and I don't have the research experience.
- I will find something else. - No question.
All right. Let's go round.
Did you know that there are more than 200 frozen dead people on Mount Everest?
That's nothing. Ever hear of a little boat called the Titanic?
Elvis died on the toilet. Not that you'd know who that is.
A heart attack, not constipation. Common misconception.
- Lovely. - I'm the cool chaplain.
Ever since Cal's mom died, he's, uh, been a little obsessed with death.
Oh, I was obsessed with embalming when I was your age. So I get it.
- Yasuda? - Cal Wang, 15.
Diagnosed eight years ago with Li-Fraumeni syndrome,
a genetic disorder associated with an increased likelihood of cancer.
He's in remission for an adrenocortical carcinoma
treated two years ago.
Admitted from clinic for a work-up of his increasing mid-back pain.
He hasn't been able to sleep, barely has an appetite.
- It's another tumor, isn't it? - Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
We need to run more tests to get to the bottom of this pain,
but your labs have come back normal so far.
Yeah, Dr. Schmitt's right. One step at a time.
Dr. Yasuda will take you to get your CT scan,
and I'll come check on you when we have the results.
Is now a good time to talk about getting the funding
for my research project back?
Do you want my clot to just blow?
Meredith?
Why didn't you tell me you were coming back to town?
Did you change your mind? Are you back at the Fox Foundation?
- I'm working out the details. - What does that mean?
What's happening with the research funding?
- Did Catherine say something? - Now's not really a good time.
- Why won't you give me a straight answer? - Can we talk about this later?
I'm checking on a patient.
Her scans are up.
- Liver cancer? - What?
That liver's covered in tumors.
Uh, Dr. Ndugu? I was told you requested me.
Yeah, I did. Uh, Dr. Pierce said you declined her offer in Chicago.
Yeah, it was a great opportunity,
but I'm happy where I am.
Ah. Well, we have some great opportunities here too.
How about you join us today in the skills lab?
Right now we're setting up a vascular anastomosis lab
for the residents.
Dr. Webber. I've been looking for you.
I wanted to thank you for holding down the fort while I was gone.
I was overlooking the OR schedule, and it is a mess without Bailey.
So I hope it's okay,
but I took the liberty of filling up your schedule for the next two weeks.
- And don't worry, it's not all hernias. - Who said you should do that?
Well, it's the Chief's job to oversee the schedule.
You're not the Chief.
Well, Catherine said that I had my job back.
You are employed as a cardiothoracic surgeon.
Now, when you can do that job without breaking the rules
or without stealing any money,
then we'll see about Chief.
I see.
Okay. Thank you.
We've been at this a while.
What do you say we, uh, get out of here and take a break?
- That's not necessary. - Maybe not for you.
I haven't left the hospital in 36 hours.
You golf, right?
You too, Adams.
So are you gonna tell me who she is or am I gonna have to pry it out of you?
- Hey, welcome back. - Thanks.
Let's go.
Nora Young, 46. Female.
post Nissen fundoplication complicated by an esophageal perforation.
Post primary repair with ongoing leak and infection.
- Rooster, look at you, all grown up. - Hi, Nora.
- Is she talking to you? - Afraid so.
Owen... Uh, sorry. Dr. Hunt. God, that sounds weird.
Dr. Hunt played Rooster in Taft Middle School's 1980...
well, the year doesn't matter... production of Annie.
- You're a theater kid? - Listen, I did one play for extra credit.
He wore suspenders, and his little voice cracked.
Okay, uh.
This is my wife, Dr. Teddy Altman.
- She's gonna be taking care of you. - Welcome to Grey-Sloan.
Thank you so much. I know you're busy. Megan said you're the boss.
Yeah, well, I'm glad to help.
Any friend of Megan's is a friend of ours.
All right, we'll upload those scans from the last hospital and take it from there.
- Thank you. - Let's go.
- Hey. Hey, um, you okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Hey. Uh. I have to do a baptism. Could you give this to Cal?
A coffin catalog?
Yeah, he-he really wanted camo,
but the closest I could find was army green.
He's 15.
He has a genetic disorder that predisposes him to cancer.
Okay, you don't need to explain my patient's pathology to me.
If you wanna give this to him, which I highly advise against,
you'll have to do it yourself.
Are you at peace with mortality, Doctor?
- Father, with all due respect-- - It's reverend.
- But you can call me James. - Great.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work.
Is that a coffin catalog?
So, good news is it looks like a benign schwannoma of the thoracic root.
But it's huge.
Can we resect it?
I don't see how. It's so close to the spine.
Look at all of the consults that haven't yet scheduled procedures,
and try to get some of those on the books.
Dr. Shepherd, I didn't know you were back.
Oh, well... [sighs] ...yeah, just trying to ease back in.
Well, sorry to mess up your plans, but could you take a look at this?
I can't figure out the right approach.
- Wow. That is a puzzle. - Yeah.
Do you think you could squeeze in a consult? He is in a lot of pain.
I think I can probably shuffle some things around.
Let's schedule an MRI and a spinal 3D reconstruction on these scans.
So this is it. This is how I die.
We don't know that.
I know my primary cancer, Meredith.
This scan tells me it's mets or a new cancer.
Neither is a good option.
We don't know that for sure until we get further testing.
- Don't placate me. - Fine.
You don't want me to placate you?
- You need to tell Richard. - No.
- He can help you through this. - No, Meredith.
He would want to help you.
Do you know how many complications I have every year?
Low neutrophils. Pain in my back. Pain in my chest. Pain in my ass.
I don't want Richard panicking every month, every week.
Putting his life on hold waiting to see if I'm going to die.
It's not over.
This is not the end.
Maybe not for you. But it is for me.
This is gonna sound weird given where I am right now,
but I feel like a movie star.
You're right. That does sound weird.
I have four kids.
My life is laundry and making lunches.
And today I was whisked away in a plane,
and you're giving me blankets I didn't even wash.
Probably sounds so sad to you.
Are you kidding? I don't know how moms do it.
SSRIs and wine. At least, that's how I do it.
- Did you always want a big family? - I wanted to be a White House reporter.
And then I met my husband.
His family has a sugar beet farm in the country, and it's this big operation.
Every farmer needs his wife.
Needed. We're at the finish line of a long divorce.
- I'm sorry. - I'm not.
After this, we'll check on your labs and CT,
and then Dr. Altman will be back to discuss next steps.
How did she end up on this floor?
Are you hooking up with a patient's granddaughter?
No.
Hey, you shouldn't be here in the ICU.
Um, I brought you a bagel.
I saw you didn't eat anything this morning.
I never eat breakfast, and that used to drive you crazy.
It's the most important meal of the day.
Coffee is the most important meal of the day.
If we were engaged, why could I only find one photo of you?
I don't know.
How did we meet?
At a Halloween party.
You were dressed up as a giant disco ball.
It was so big that you couldn't fit in through the bathroom door.
I was waiting to go next,
and then you asked me if I could hug the costume so you could squeeze in.
We looked so dumb, and we couldn't stop laughing.
And then I saw your reflection on the tiny little mirrors on the costume,
and I remember thinking,
"There's no view of this person I didn't like."
Well, that must have been nice to be loved like that.
Why did we break up?
- It was complicated. - What does that mean?
Code blue!
Code blue, fourth floor.
- I need a crash cart in here, now! - ICU. Code blue, fourth floor.
Search for ICU.
Get out of there.
Okay. Northeasterly breeze.
Show you fellas how this is done.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, no.
Isn't the hole over there?
- Maybe the sun got in his eyes. - All right, I'm a little rusty.
- That's okay. Adams, you any good? - I'm all right.
Okay.
That was just all right?
Uh, well, compared to the guys I normally play with.
You know, I think this young man just insulted us, Dr. Ndugu.
Hey, you saw where my ball went.
Well, let's see if I still got it.
Whoo! That's a beauty right there.
You're going down.
- All right. Bring me up to speed. - She vomited over a liter of blood.
We can't get a read on her BP anymore.
She's about to code.
All right. With that much bleeding, it could be an upper GI
or an aortoesophageal fistula.
Griffith, you're gonna help me place a Minnesota tube.
I need Kerlix, an IV bag and X-ray.
- I'm in. Color change noted. - Great.
Griffith, have you ever placed a balloon tamponade?
You're gonna take this. It is just like an OG tube.
You are gonna place the catheter down the throat, behind the ET tube.
Yep.
- I think I'm in the stomach. - Inflate the gastric balloon.
All right. Let me take a look.
Perfect. All right, let's get X-ray outta here.
We need to engage traction.
All right. Kwan, hook up suction to the esophageal port.
Good. Good. Good.
You're right. Bleeding must be coming from the esophagus.
All right. Inflate the esophageal balloon. We have seconds before she codes.
- Should we hang another unit? - Yes.
- Where are we, Griffith? - Esophageal balloon is inflated.
Great job, everyone. What's the plan?
- TEVAR and stent to cover the fistula. - Excellent.
All right. Kwan, book an IR suite.
Dr. Bailey.
Dr. Bailey, I need a consult.
Oh. Go ask someone on the payroll.
If this is about this morning, I'm sorry.
Are you?
Well, you didn't seem sorry when you brazenly got in the way
of me trying to get my job back.
And you don't seem sorry at all
that Sydney Heron is still bossing my interns around.
Wait. Sydney Heron's back?
Yeah, in all her perky, passive-aggressive glory.
So you need a consult, page her.
I'm not paging Sydney Heron.
Well, call whoever.
- I can't. - And why not?
Because the patient doesn't want him to know.
All right. What are we looking at?
The schwannoma has invaded the spinal column,
and now it is compressing the cord.
Well, it's incredible that he made it this long without becoming symptomatic.
Yeah. Well, he's spent his life in and out of hospitals.
At this point, his pain tolerance is very high.
Can't imagine being 15 and knowing that every moment
your cells could be mutating into cancer and still have to take a geometry final.
If we do an anterior approach, we won't be able to assess the posterior margins.
If we go posteriorly, we can't access the thoracic component.
Can we just turn him over during surgery?
Well, we wouldn't have to if he's on his side.
Dr. Beltran, you could open his chest and work from front to back,
and then I could open his back and work my way forward.
You think that's too risky?
I think risky is all Cal has. Let's go talk to him and his dad.
Um...
- Cal's not in his room. - Where is he?
The chaplain said that he was taking him somewhere and not to worry.
What?
He's part of the care team.
Nora has an aortoesophageal fistula,
and I can't find anyone to help me repair her esophagus.
- Why is no one answering OR 6? - I'm sure we can find someone to help.
Are you magic? Can you pull someone out of thin air?
Because Bailey works across the street, Richard has taken the day off
and Sydney Heron's in an emergency debridement.
- Who's Sydney Heron? - She's the new Bailey.
And she's an acquired taste which I will never have.
Pretty sure Richard wouldn't mind coming in for an emergency.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Why not? He could do an esophageal stent in his sleep.
Richard is not stepping down from Chief, and he said that he doesn't trust me.
So I don't think that he and I should be operating together.
Could you finish up in here please? Thanks.
What do you mean he said he doesn't trust you?
I mean, what did you say to that?
Nothing. His mind is made up. All right. You know what I'm gonna do?
I am gonna call in Richard, and I'll just replace myself.
Beckman can do it.
No. Nora came all this way to see you. I'll do it. I'll stent the esophagus.
This is your first day back in the trauma room.
And you are the best damn CT surgeon in this whole hospital.
- Let me help. - Thank you. Okay, I'll see you in the OR.
She doesn't want any type of intervention.
I practically had to hold her down for her blood draw.
I don't blame her. She's been through a lot.
I didn't think you and Catherine were exactly on good terms these days.
Are you on good terms with all of your patients?
- Mmm. - She's a trailblazer. I respect her.
Mmm. She paved the way, showed me what was possible.
I owe her my career. Even if I'm sidelined right now.
Although in fairness, that was my decision.
Okay, look. See, these masses look like they've been growing for a while.
By now wouldn't you think there'd be mets in other places too?
It could be a different primary cancer.
What if it isn't cancer at all?
Maybe hemangiomas or other fatty changes from ischemia.
The odds of that are almost nonexistent.
It's Catherine Fox.
Anything's possible.
- Yeah. I like that. - Hey!
- What are you doing out here? - Just planning my funeral in case I croak.
You're not dying.
What you have is a benign tumor that we are going to remove today.
Yasuda, will you please take Cal up to his room?
All right. Train's leaving.
He wanted to plan his funeral.
I know that he'll likely get more cancers,
and I know that one of them will probably take his life.
But I can't think about that right now
because I have to focus on removing the gigantic one
that's impinging on his spine.
That's quite the god complex you have there.
- I'm doing my job. - Screw your job. Be a person.
His whole ob-obsession with death... The facts, the jokes... He's scared.
He's telling you he is scared.
He has an incurable genetic disease.
I can't fix that for him.
I can't make that go away.
And if I can't, there is sure as hell nothing you can do.
Look, you might have more schooling than me,
you might get more respect...
You don't have all the answers.
And you do?
I don't have any answers.
All I can do is listen.
You should try it.
Found it!
Oh, no. It's a rock.
Your uncle and I had a standing game every week in the summer.
Yeah. He was obnoxiously good at everything.
Yeah. Not golf. Oh, the way he'd shank that ball.
How'd you get to be so good?
Oh, my dad pushed me to learn.
Said it'd help me socialize with my colleagues one day.
I guess he had a point.
Yeah. And sometimes I forget
it's nice to get out of the hospital with your colleagues.
Especially, now that I think about it,
your uncle and I used to play with Phil Kopelman.
He's an ENT, but now he runs the outreach over at the ACGME.
Wouldn't hurt to give him a call.
Uh, you think he could do something about my remediation?
Uh, he's a fair guy.
I mean, if he doesn't feel that the punishment fits the crime,
I'm sure he'll do what he can.
But, um... Don't tell Catherine I said that.
- Yeah. We don't talk that much. - Here it is!
- Look at that. Not too far from the green. - You're still in the rough, Ndugu.
- This is not a good time. - We just need two minutes.
I am not in the mood to debate anybody's employment status.
We're here to discuss your health.
My health is fine, thank you.
- She's seen the scans. - Damn it, Grey!
You can believe that I'm gonna sue you for breaking HIPAA.
Your lawyers know where to find me. I needed a consult.
Can't you give me the dignity of just dying in private?
But what if it isn't cancer?
You saw the scans.
I did. And while they are concerning,
there's a chance that the lesions
are a benign finding of your subacute Budd-Chiari syndrome.
And we could do a biopsy to find out.
My liver is teeming with lesions.
A biopsy could cause bleeding, a stroke.
It's dangerous. It's absurd.
Why would you even recommend that?
Because it's what Richard taught me to do.
And I think it's what he would want.
Hmm.
Richard's ears are burning.
Mmm. What's happening?
I don't know. Is she having the stroke now?
Well, come on. Y'all wanna talk, let's go talk.
Okay. Okay.
How's your patient doing?
I have to take her up to surgery in a few minutes.
Oh, does that mean you have a minute to talk?
I really should head back upstairs.
I can't leave here until I know our whole story.
I swear I'm not trying to take advantage. I know your time is valuable.
Does it really matter what happened?
You seem happy.
But that doesn't mean I don't want answers.
I mean, until Dave,
this was the most significant relationship in my entire life.
I have no idea why it ended. I mean, wouldn't you wanna know?
You don't have any pictures of me because you deleted them all.
I came home one night, and you were crying on the floor.
You had found out that I had cheated on you.
Look, we... We were young, the wedding was getting closer
and I kept thinking about how my mom wasn't gonna be there.
And it was a stupid, drunk mistake
that I have regretted every single day since.
Look, I'm sure it was devastating at the time,
but I'm okay now.
You don't have anything to regret.
I haven't even told you the worst part.
After we fought, you got in the car...
and an hour later, I got a call that you had been in a wreck.
The accident.
Yeah. Well, that was nobody's fault.
No, but if you hadn't been so upset then--
I stopped thinking that way a long time ago.
I'm at peace with it.
And I got to start over.
More suction, please.
- How's it going over there? - Making my final cut.
Great.
A little more traction.
All right. Someone get a basin ready. I'm going to remove the last piece.
We got the whole tumor?
Mmm. Path will confirm, but to my eye, the margins look good.
No. No, no, no. He's bleeding.
- Where? - I can't see.
- You have anything on your side? - No. Nothing.
- Lap pads. - Could it be bleeding
from the vessel feeding the tumor?
It seems to be coming from normal tissue.
Uh, found it. Dr. Schmitt is correct.
It's coming from an intercostal artery.
Millin, I'm gonna have you tie it off.
Right angle and silk tie, please.
Thank you.
- All right. Like this? - Yeah. Good.
Make sure the knot is square. That's great.
What now?
Now we celebrate.
Great job, everybody.
Dr. Schmitt, after we take him to post-op,
would you like to tell his dad the good news?
On it.
Deploying the stent. She didn't seem bossy to me.
Nora and Megan used to make me pitch batting practice to them,
and they would heckle me.
In very colorful language, I might add.
Bet she didn't expect to put her life in your hands.
Okay. Let's get ready to inject the dye.
Damn it. Get me a balloon for dilation.
- Griffith, what do you see? - Blood is coming from the stent.
Correct. Kwan, next steps?
You dilate the balloon to push the stent into the aortic wall to stop the leak.
Good job. All right. Inserting the balloon.
All right. Balloon is in. Inflating the balloon.
Good.
All right. Inject the dye.
Leak is fixed.
Great work, everyone.
Let's remove the sheath so Dr. Hunt can place the esophageal stent.
The surgery couldn't have gone better.
- Thank you. - Cal's a great kid.
When he wakes up, I found a killer death fact for him.
Hmm. That was actually unintentional.
Get me lorazepam.
- What's happening? - Page Beltran and Shepherd.
- On it. - Okay. You're okay. I'm here.
Now, that's what you call a birdie.
I'd just like to state that if we played football,
I would have wiped the floor with both of you.
- I wouldn't be so sure. - Why don't you go return the cart?
You know, we still got some daylight.
You wanna go hit some on the driving range?
What?
You don't see how ridiculous it is
that you're worried about losing steam in the operating room?
You've got more focus and stamina than an intern.
Look, golf is different, okay?
No, it's not that different.
Both take endurance and concentration. That fire in your belly.
Look, I made a mistake.
We all make mistakes.
Not everybody is over 65.
Yeah, I don't buy it.
Don't get me wrong. It's good that you're taking stock.
It'd be irresponsible not to.
But from where I stand,
you're still going strong.
Why do they have to have peanut shells on the floor?
Uh, do you wanna go someplace else?
There's a nice, um, sushi restaurant across the street.
No. This is the one place Richard won't think to look for me.
Would you like to discuss your options?
I understand my pros and cons.
What I don't know is if I have the fortitude.
The energy.
My body is tired, and what you're asking...
More surgery, a... Another treatment...
Unless it's benign.
We know the odds of that are minuscule.
But they're not nothing.
Catherine Fox. Well, I expected more from you.
You have shattered every glass ceiling, beaten every odd.
Right? Why are you giving up?
You better watch your tone if you want your job back, Dr. Bailey.
Look, I'll find another job if I need to.
But come on. You have so much to live for. Why won't you try?
Do you think I'm just sitting back,
waiting for death to come and snuff me out?
Most days I feel like the same young woman I was with the world at my feet.
But I don't believe in miracles.
I believe in science, and the science is not on my side.
Maybe. Or maybe not. But we won't know unless you let us do the biopsy.
How many of your patients have beaten the odds?
Why them and not you?
Fine. Do the damn biopsy.
But one of you pay for the drinks.
I'm glad you called Megan when you did.
You were a lot sicker than anyone realized.
We almost lost you.
Yeah. But now you're gonna make a full recovery.
Thank you. All of you.
Our pleasure.
It's Megan. Are you okay if I give her the update?
Please. I owe her my life.
- Okay. Let's order some post-op labs. - Okay.
You really grew up to look like your dad.
I can't believe you remember him.
I mean, you must've been six or seven when he died.
He put me on his shoulders once so I could reach the monkey bars.
I never forgot it.
It was good seeing you.
I got here as fast as I could. What are...
Oh, my God. Diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma.
With satellite lesions.
But he gets yearly full-body scans. Th-This was just missed?
It could have been too small to catch on his last one.
I mean, this is a rapid-growing malignant brain tumor.
Soon it is gonna start affecting all of his vital functions.
Breathing, blood pressure, heart.
Isn't there anything we can do for him? Radiation, chemo?
I mean, we could put him through radiation,
but it'll give him maybe two agonizing months.
So... [stutters] ...it's a death sentence.
I'll go talk to Cal and his dad.
I'll do it.
I'll tell them.
It's Nurse Karen's birthday.
We tried a dozen different cakes for our wedding, and you wanted lemon.
I think that was actually our biggest fight.
It never gets less weird.
I mean, I just met you, but we also fought about cake five years ago.
You've broken the space-time continuum.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I see why I liked you.
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
You're funny, and you're smart.
You know that when you smile, your eyes do this... this sparkly thing.
Nah. No, no.
See? Funny.
Yeah, and you bring me cake.
Even when you spend all day saving other people's lives.
Look, I don't have feelings about the memories that I've lost because...
I mean, you can't miss something that you didn't know happened in the first place.
But I wish I remembered you.
Mmm. I... Wow. I am... I'm so, so, sorry.
- It's fine. - I... No, no. It's...
- It's fine. - No, no, no. It... It's...
It's been a long day. Just a lot going on in my mind, and...
You're good. It's okay.
Um...
I should... I should get back inside.
But if...
if you ever need anything, you...
I know where to find you.
How long do I have?
Uh...
It could be anywhere from weeks to months.
That's it?
I'm so sorry.
Do you... [clears throat] Do you know that feeling when school's over
and you're outside playing with all your friends...
...and it feels like summer could last forever?
It's because our perception of time isn't fixed.
Two months could feel like ten years.
And ten years can go by in a blink of an eye.
Hey. Hey.
We... We can cram a lot into a few months.
I don't wanna die.
Um...
Here.
What do you want to do...
...before you die?
You've always wanted to go to space camp.
- Okay. - That's a good one.
What else?
I wanna go see Mount McKinley.
And re-read Lord of The Rings.
That is... That is literally one of my favorites too.
Oh, did you come in under par?
It's okay. Ndugu told me that you guys hit the links.
- Yeah. I did fine. - Must be nice.
Sorry?
Oh, I've just never had friends in high places.
That's not why I'm here, if that's what you're implying.
I got the highest ABSITE score in my class.
Is that... Is that how it works?
Get the highest score and then they... they take you golfing?
Guess I should have studied more.
I have to hand it to Megan.
She knew something was wrong, and she pushed to make it right.
Megan made a few phone calls. You saved a life.
I'll be right back.
Dr. Webber.
I want Chief back.
Okay.
I have a whole speech about why I deserve it.
Take the win, Altman.
- I'm gonna stay a little later. - Go do what you need to do.
Today can suck it.
That poor kid.
Mm-hmm.
And what's depressing is
I caught two interns kissing in the elevator.
Ooh. Nice.
Remember when we were interns
and our futures felt so bright?
Everything was possible.
Now I'm pretty sure Meredith is hiding something from me,
and my department reassigned all of my cases while I was gone.
I don't know what to do next.
I do.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'd say welcome back, but I've been gone too.
Uh, we're not back.
We need your help. We're doing a procedure in the clinic.
Can we have a scrub nurse?
A scrub nurse? In the clinic?
Okay. Who's the attending?
Oh, come on.
- I just got my job back. - I know.
And I also know that I'm the one responsible for you losing it.
And I would never ask you if this wasn't a matter of life and death.
Okay. Don't make me regret it.
Hey.
That was rough. You okay?
I thought, uh, that if I walled off the pain,
that it wouldn't hurt.
But... [scoffs] ...I was wrong.
There are some memories we probably wouldn't mind losing.
The deaths, the breakups, the hard times...
You heading out soon?
I'm catching up on Heron's progress notes.
What is gonna happen when you're repeating intern year,
doing notes, changes bandages, and I get to operate?
This isn't about you.
I don't wanna be bailed out.
That's what my family does.
But I don't wanna be that person.
I wanna take responsibility for my mistakes.
But it is a little about me, right?
But memories, like neurons, work together to make you who you are.
♪ At least the weight I'm carrying ♪
♪ Is one with the horizon ♪
What?
Hey.
You okay?
If all we remembered were the good times...
All right. Prepare to be vanquished.
Oh, I am going to destroy you.
...our friendships wouldn't be as strong.
Jules, what are you doing? Get out of the corner.
Listen to her.
You okay?
I'm fine, baby.
And our loves wouldn't be as sweet.
♪ And you told me to come in ♪
♪ Oh, my love ♪
♪ A thousand kisses from you ♪
♪ And it's never too much ♪
♪ And I just don't want to stop ♪
Come on. I love it when you sing.
♪ A million days in your arms ♪
- ♪ And it's never too much ♪ - ♪ Never too much, never too much ♪
♪ Never too much ♪
There you go.
- ♪ And I just don't wanna stop ♪ - ♪ Just don't wanna stop ♪
- ♪ Never too much, never too much ♪ - ♪ Never too much ♪
♪ Never too much ♪
So cling to the bad, along with the good.
One day, you'll be glad you did.