Previously on Grey's Anatomy...
Pick me. Choose me. Love me.
I need to not die emotionally crippled and alone.
Callie... what I did to you it is unforgivable.
So you two are together?
You know what? You're inappropriate and unprofessional.
Dr. Hahn has agreed to bome our new head of cardiothoracic surgery.
Lookin' forward to it, dr. Yang.
My wife has filed for divorce.
I don't know if I can handle one more night in that hotel.
You can say anything to me.
I want to marry you, and you're not ready.
There's this thing about being a surgeon--
maybe it's pride or maybe it's just about being tough--
but a true surgeon never admits they need help unless absolutely necessary.
What are your other symptoms?
Okay, there's the father thing...
the mother thing, the sister thing...
- Mm, the dying-and-coming-back- to-life thing. - You have too many things.
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep without the dreaming.
And the panic attacks.
- One. One panic attack. - Okay, still.
What's wrong with me?
As far as I can tell, severe abandonment issues.
That's crap. Psych is crap.
Issues?
I mean, it's-- it's in the book. The book said it, not me.
have you considered maybe you and Derek should...
stop having breakup sex?
Okay.
The more available he gets...
the more I pull away.
What do you mean?
Nothing. It's a Derek thing.
Surgeons don't need to ask for help 'cause they're tougher than that.
Surgeons are cowboys-- rough around the edges, hard-core.
Atleast, that's what they want you to think.
Ah, good morning.
Oh, perfect timing.
Trout for breakfast.
Again.
Yeah, don't start. I let you live on my land, so don't--don't start.
I'm older than you. I've just seen life from both sides now.
You gonna start singing?
I'm just saying that a man who is up fishing at 3:00 every morning is a man in pain over a woman.
Oh, good. A country-western song.
I'm pointing out it's a thing we have in common, Derek.
You know, what we need is something to take our mind off of everything.
What we need...
is a gentlemen's evening.
- A what? - A good, old--fashioned gentlemen's evening...
Tonight.
This is absurd.
You shouldn't be sleeping in the on call room.
It's not always an on call room. Sometimes it's a gurney in the tunnels and the...
It's absurd...
when I have a perfectly good bed.
And I know that we said we would wait and be respectful, and we have been very respectful.
But now I want sex.
- Right now? - No.
Tonight.
Tonight we will have...
hot, perfect sex.
- You in? - Yeah, I'm obviously in.
I gotta go.
I got patients to check on, Erica Hahn to impress.
I'm gonna go kick some cardio ass. Oh, god. I gotta shave my legs.
It's okay if you don't, you know, have a chance to shave your legs.
No, it's not.
It is not okay, George. I have to shave my legs.
I will be shaving my legs. Hot, perfect sex requires shaved legs.
Okay.
Erica Hahn-- first day.
Oh, first day indeed, and a mountain of paperwork to prove it.
Derek Shepherd, you know Erica Hahn.
You're the new Burke.
And this is dr. Mark Sloan, head of plastics. Erica Hahn.
Ah, the new Burke.
Welcome. Excuse us.
Interesting guys, and by "interesting" I mean "ridiculously attractive."
Do you hire on looks alone, or is actual skill a factor?
- Good to have you here, Erica. - Good to be here, Richard.
What exactly is a gentlemen's evening?
I don't know. It's an evening with gentlemen.
And strippers?
No, I don't--I don't think the chief meant strippers.
Sure sounds like strippers. Dr. Bailey?
What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say the words "gentlemen's evening"?
Tassels. Shiny, sequined tassels and $1 bills.
See? Strippers.
There will be no strippers. I'm almost positive.
So you don't know what this thing is either?
No, but you're in?
Why not? I like to be surprised.
Okay. Oh, heads-up. Mr. Incredible, 12:00.
Hi.
What the hell was that about?
That was about a date we have later in the on call room. It's nothing.
Well, you sure seem to be losing sleep over a whole lot of nothing.
This is it-- Hahn is in the hospital, freakin' Izzie is on her service again.
I'm gonna ride this trauma train straight back into cardio.
Okay, what do we got?
Uh, two ambulances, multiple traumas.
Any chance you need a resident's help, dr. Torres?
As long as you want to smash bones into dust while people cry.
Sweet. What do you got?
Chest pain, tamponade, ruptured aorta?
Uh, more like a clown car.
Jackie Escott, 25 years old-- dislocated shoulder lac to her thigh, vital signs are stable.
And Helena Boyd, 26 years old--
also stable with obvious nasal fracture facial lacs and a chunk of missing scalp.
- She ripped out my hair. - She ripped out my shoulder!
You ripped out your own shoulder when you were trying to push me off of the platform!
Who let go of the dress? Did anybody let go of the dress?
Hang in there, honey. Don't let her psych you out, all right?
Okay, what the hell's all this?
It's a store contest. I'm the judge.
Last one to let go of the dress--
- Wins the wedding of my dreams. - Of my dreams.
All right, enough. You two are injured, okay?
You need to get your priorities straight and let go of the--
let go-- let go of the dress so we can treat you.
All right, let go now. Now.
That's not gonna happen.
All right. Fine. Let's move.
Oh, please let this be something good, something cardio good. Please.
33-year-old male discovered unconscious but stable having survived a 12,000-foot free fall.
A what?
His parachute didn't open.
Wait, he fell 12,000 feet without a parachute?
Thank you.
What's his name?
Rick. I'm Rick Jacobs.
He's talking?
You'd think after 12,000 feet, he'd have at least a punctured lung.
Where is he? Where are you?
Oh, my god. There you are.
How is he? How is he? Is he okay? Is he dying?
No, I'm not dying, Sally.
Okay, ma'am, you need to calm down.
Is this your wife?
My skydiving instructor.
- Well, ma'am-- - I watched the whole thing.
I-I couldn't do anything. I was just-- I was just in the clouds floating,
watching while he-- while he-- while he-- you-- you fell to your death.
His chute didn't open.
Ma'am, we need to do our jobs, and you're making that difficult by hovering over the patient.
P-please have a seat and breathe.
I heard we have a skydiver who fell 12,000 feet.
That'd be me.
- Hello. - Hi.
He's talking?
Clearly he's in shock, can't feel the extent of his injuries.
Let's get him down for a C.T.
Cristina, where are you going?
Multiple injuries means multiple surgeries. I'm going to get me some cardio.
Okay, do you see that you're bleeding all over the dress?
It's not about the dress.
I can't, uh, I can't-- there's too much blood down here.
Which one of your legs is bleeding?
I don't know. I can't really feel anything anymore.
I hear you have a broken nose down here. What's with the dress?
It's not about the dress.
Can't they-- can't they just split the prize?
I offered. I offered that 14 hours ago.
It is a $100,000 wedding package, and I am not splitting it with anyone.
Oh, you're bleeding on your dress.
It's not about the dress!
Uh, uh, I'm gonna have to stabilize that shoulder somehow.
I'll go grab a sling.
- Well, this is cozy. - This is hell.
I assigned O'Malley to you to keep him away from me, and now our patients are connected to each other.
You're not looking at this like the opportunity it is.
- Meaning? - Meaning he's an intern.
It's, like, half my job, torturing interns.
Thanks. That's-- that's almost sweet.
But torturing George is not gonna make any of this any better.
Torture him how, exactly?
My hands always get so sweaty in hospitals.
It's the weirdest thing.
It's pretty common, actually.
If it makes you feel any better, Dr. Hahn has done this procedure hundreds of times.
And she's really gonna thread a catheter up my leg, all the way to my heart?
Trust me, you are in excellent hands.
But, um, I--I'll be out, right?
Oh, yeah, you'll be asleep. You won't remember a thing.
Ivory-billed woodpecker.
I'm sorry?
Ivory-billed woodpecker-- that's what's getting me through this.
I'm a, uh, lifelong birdwatcher.
And when I get through this, I am finally going to scout the Ivory-billed woodpecker.
It is so rare.
You know, we-- we thought it was extinct.
But it's not.
It lives in Arkansas...
in this one little patch of swamp.
Do you have any idea how incredible it is to see a bird like that in person?
I'm sorry.
Uh, I'll be just one second.
Why are you hovering?
Guess what just came into the pit.
No, no, don't guess. I'll tell you.
Skydiver.
Skydiver whose chute didn't open, who fell 12,000 feet and landed in some shrubbery.
Poor guy. He probably broke every bone in his body.
No, the point is not "poor guy". The point is amazing surgery.
And it could be yours for the low, low price of a humdrum, everyday cardio cath.
Yeah, forget it. I'm not giving up Hahn's service.
Hey, hey, Izzie, you know what? Cardio is my thing.
No.
I like this patient, I like Hahn, and I like cardio.
No, you are-- you are flirting with cardio.
I am married to cardio.
You will marry general surgery or, you know, okay, perhaps neuro.
but you, you are nowhere near hard-core enough to commit to cardio.
So you are telling me to stop flirting with your husband.
I get it. That's cute.
But if you're gonna ask me for a favor, insulting my personal life is probably not a great tactic.
No, no, no, wait. I am not talking about your sex life.
I could not care less about your sex life.
It's a skydiver, Izzie. Skydiver.
Oh, yeah. Sounds real cool. Enjoy it.
If his intestines look like I think they will, that's gonna take first priority.
He could have delayed paralysis.
This is not a contest, gentlemen.
But since a perfed bowel could kill the guy whether or not his spine's in working order, my money's on the chief going first.
Hey, what'd I miss?
Any cardiothoracic concerns? I'd be happy to page dr. Hahn.
Scans's coming up.
Here it is. Wait for it.
W-wait. Wait.
Oh, that can't be right, can it?
I'm not seeing any free fluid, any intraperitoneal gases.
Does anybody see anything?
There! Right there. A hematoma.
In the right lower quadrant.
It's the appendix.
W-we're saying this guy fell 12,000 feet, and basically all he needs is an appendectomy?
You're charting... in a closet.
I get a lot of work done in here. It's quiet and nice.
And a closet.
Look...
when I'm out there roaming the floors, okay, I am the other Grey that dr. Yang likes to humiliate and kick around.
And--and in here, I'm-- I'm not. You know, in-- in here, I'm-- it's just--
it's-- it's my place, okay? It's-- it's a closet.
You know, every intern class has its runt of the litter.
You keep this up, this year it's gonna be you.
Get up.
Oh, sorry. You probably need to get in here.
No, grab-- grab a sling from the box and come with me.
With you?
Well, if you'd rather sit like a loser in a closet doing charts, you can.
Or you can come help me on ortho today. Your choice.
No way. No frickin' way.
It's the only solution if neither of you will let go of the dress.
It's very simple. Dr. Torres needs to treat Jackie's shoulder and leg, so, Jackie, you need a proxy.
What?
Think about it, babe. This gives you an advantage.
You get to rest your hand and come back refreshed.
Give me the dress. I'll be the proxy.
No way.
This isn't fair. You think this is fair?
Dr. O'Malley's the proxy.
What?
He'll hold on to the dress.
Hold the dress? You just want me to...
stand here and hold a dress?
No one every said internship was easy.
Dude, your job kinda sucks, huh?
Hello? Watch the shoulder.
Oh, check it out. Bambi's a bridesmaid.
You're right. This did cheer me up.
You've got no lung injuries, no spinal injuries, no broken bones.
- You're just a lucky man. - Holy crap.
The only thing we found was a little bleeding in your lower abdomen.
Which means we have to remove your appendix.
How's that even possible?
Uh, the body's an amazing thing. You know, sometimes these things, they just happen.
If you had died... god.
I didn't though. I lived.
This is just the most amazing feeling.
I feel like I could do anything right now.
I mean, anything in the world because I faced death and I...
I survived.
- It changes a person. - It does.
It so does.
Sally...Sal, I have to-- I want to, um--
Don't worry.
The minute-- the minute we get out of here, I am so destroying that video.
You will never have to-- to relive that horrible-- in fact, where's your helmet?
I'm gonna destroy that video right now.
Sally. Sal...
wait.
Did she say "video"?
The trick is to envision the artery like a spaghetti noodle-- pliable, but not too fragile.
- Good morning. - Good morning,chief.
Oh, this is an unexpected surprise, chief. You need something?
Oh, first day. Just wanted to see how you were settling in.
You see that?
It's a blockage, left main coronary artery. It's totally closed off.
There's no way I'm getting a stent in there. We're gonna have to open him up.
B.P.'s dropping to 58 over 20.
His heart's racing.
And his temp's rising. Muscles are rigid.
All right, let's bring him off anesthesia and start him on 100% O2.
He's got malignant hypothermia.
So he's allergic to the anestsia?
He'll never be able to endure the CABG.
So what are our options?
That's just, uh...
I mean, it sounds like you're telling me...
you're not actually telling me I'm... I'm gonna die?
The blockage we found in your heart needs surgery, extensive surgery. Angioplasty won't work.
And since you're allergic to the anesthesia...
So I'll just, uh...
I'll be like this.
I'll be sick...
and exhausted...
and like this...
until one day when I'll...
just, uh...
die.
It would've been wonderful...
to see that bird.
It would've been wonderful.
You're crowding me, O'Malley.
Hey, hey, I think he just let go. You just let go of the dress, didn't you?
No.
I wish to god he had.
I swear, if you let go and lose this contest after my Jackie almost died to win it
Dude, a busted shoulder does not mean she almost died. Okay?
Whatever.
I'm watching you.
I know you all think this is stupid.
If I were you, I would think this is really stupid.
Oh, I've never been married myself, so I'm not one to judge, but George here knows all about what it takes.
Don't you, O'Malley?
You're married? For how long?
Not very long.
Newlyweds. Congratulatations.
Thanks.
Now, Jackie, dr. Karev and I are gonna do this on the count of three, okay?
I should totally win over that Helena girl. I'm am way more injured than she is.
I should just win by default.
One...
two...
three.
Is it in?
It popped back out.
She's gonna need surgery.
Whoa! Hey, no. I gotta get back to my dress. Just wrap some bandages around it or something.
You would rather hold on to a dress with a dislocated shoulder than let me repair it in surgery for you right now?
I can have surgery anytime. I can only win this wedding once.
So what, he just stands there and holds a dress?
I know. I thought it was gonna be more exciting, too.
A monkey could hold a dress.
Actually, this is a lot harder than it looks.
Don't let them get to you. Tune them out, all of them.
It's the only way to get through it.
Sweetie, he's your competition. Don't help him.
You ever give morphine to people who aren't patients?
This kinda blows.
It's more fun when you heckle.
Don't heckle, George.
Yeah, whatever. I got something way better than this.
Something that tops O'Malley playing bride?
Skydiver video.
What are we doing?
Video from the helmet of a skydiver without a chute.
You guys are sick.
Oh, it's not a snuff film. The guy survives.
Holy...
Oh, is he...
Oh, no, he's going for it. He's going for the chute.
Oh, and it doesn't open.
Now he's flailing.
He's going for his second chute.
- Oh, jeez. - Oh, also doesn't open.
You'd think there'd be more screaming.
Oh, how close the ground is getting.
- Wh-what's he doing now? - Peeing his pants.
Is he saying something? Turn it up.
God, I wish would've told you. I am so in love with you.
I-I love you. I love you. I love you, Sally. I--ohh!
Who's Sally?
- His skydiving instructor. - Sad.
Hey, what are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in surgery?
The guy is allergic to anesthesia. The surgery was canceled.
I drowned.
I was sinking...
I died.
And you know what I realized?
I realized how stupid all of my issues are.
I'm waiting for how this applies to me.
- It doesn't. - Of course not.
Well, that man fell, and all he wanted was one last chance to tell Sally how he felt about her.
And I got one last chance. I got my chance.
And what have I done with it?
You know, being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things.
- I know. - Okay, found it.
Dr. Hahn, I know how you can do the surgery on the who is allergic to anesthesia.
Well, no anesthesia means no ventilator.
No ventilator means no CABG. Not a whole lot of wiggle room there.
- You can operate on him while he's awake. - Yang.
You can use a high thoracic epidural to numb him from the chest down.
Let him breathe on his own the entire time.
I mean, they pulled it off in India last month, and then again in--
Dr. Hahn, you wanted to sign the discharge papers for mr. Arnold?
Not quite yet.
Wide awake?
You want me to let you slice open my chest while I'm wide awake?
It is your best option.
Uh, how...
how long would I have to be lying there, uh, on the table with my chest open, uh, like that?
The surgery can take up to five or six hours. Maybe more.
Uh, six hours...
awake...
w-with you operating on my heart. I...
The Ivory-billed woodpecker.
- What? - What?
The Ivory-billed woodpecker, mr. Arnold
You want to live to see it, don't you? This is your only chance.
Ivory-billed woodpecker.
Excellent.
Stevens, we will scrub in as soon as an O.R. is free.
Uh, but the surgery was Cristina's idea.
Either you want in or you don't.
- Which is it? - I do.
Uh, but-- I'm sure there'll be standing room in the gallery, Yang.
Stevens, book the O.R.
Uh, chief.
Awake open-heart surgery?
I want to talk to you about tonight.
Have you heard about this awake open-heart surgery?
I've invited Sloan and, um...
well, I'm wondering what I should tell him to expect.
Mm, tell him to expect a good time.
Okay, so what is that, poker, cigars, whiskey?
I mean, what kind of things?
A good time, Shep.
You know?
You have no idea the kind of stamina it takes to stand in a display window for two days.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done, like, ever.
You're risking permanent damage to your shoulder over a contest.
What does your dress look like?
Strapless, sweetheart neckline, crystal beading--
so pretty.
But you're gonna wear your hair down, though, right?
You know, to cover the hunchback?
The what?
Oh, it's just, since you're ignoring Dr. Torres' advice about getting the surgery,
you know, your shoulder is probably gonna be pretty swollen and purple--
you know, kind of like a hunchback?
But your hair should totally cover it.
I mean, probably, with the right veil.
You didn't tell me that.
How soon can we have the surgery?
Dr. Hahn.
I heard a crazy rumor about you.
That I'm performing open-heart surgery on a man who's wide awake?
- That's the rumor - That's the truth.
Well, I perform awake brain surgery all the time.
Not the same thing.
You ever heard of a gentlemen's evening?
I'm sorry?
The chief is hosting a gentlemen's evening.
We're pretty sure it doesn't involve porn,
but, you know, we want to be sure.
Right.
Are you two a couple?
- No. - NO.
Just checking.
Why would she ask that?
I don't know.
I'm-- I'm worried about this gentlemen's thing.
George...
you got a second?
Seriously?
one second.
We're gonna have to push back our perfect evening tonight.
Not by much-- a few hours, I think.
Sure.
Okay.
I'm about to scrub in on an awake open-heart surgery.
- A what? - Awake.
The patient's gonna be wide awake while we operate on his heart.
- That is intense. - It is.
It is intense. It's...
you know, Cristina would be all over this.
She would be studying and quizzing herself, and all I can think about is--is the poor guy.
You know, he's really nervous already, and...
I'm not hard-core.
I'm not hard-core enough for this.
Yes, you are.
What, you're just-- you're just not like Cristina.
You're hard-core.
You're hard-core like Izzie.
Did that just sound dirty? 'Cause that's not how I meant it.
Mean it, man.
Shut--
Go kick ass in the surgery, and then we'll have our night, and it will be perfect.
Oh, I have not shaved my legs yet.
Go be hard-core Izzie.
- Go! - Okay, got it. Going.
- Thank you. - Bye.
She's hot, man.
Is she your wife?
I don't know you well enough to have this conversation.
Chief, you paged?
Close the door.
You had the nerve to tell a patient, you would perform awake open-heart surgery without running it past me?
Did Burke run every surgery past you?
- Erica, I know you're new here-- - No--
- but we run-- - I just want to know what the rules are.
Every surgery Burke booked, he ran it up the flagpole first?
And what about pretty and prettier?
They run all their surgeries past you?
Wait, you're talking about Shepherd and Sloan?
I am talking about your male attendings.
You know, the ones you invited to your gentlemen's evening?
Guess you don't know a guy till you work for him.
I mean, who knew you were running some kind of old boys' club?
No, that is not it.
You realize that an evening to which the male attendings are invited and the women are not,
you realize that that's a lot like when law firms used to have country club weekends
and failed to invite the black asociates?
Good talk.
I gotta prep for my surgery.
Remember when I was dead?
Before I went in that water, everything was so...
complicated and hard.
And then you pulled me out of the water.
And I came back to life.
For a moment, everything was so clear...
as if the water had washed everything clean.
Do you remember that?
I do.
Me, too.
I don't know how you guys did this for two days.
Believe me, I would be at city hall tomorrow if that were an option.
It is an option. You could just...let go.
You let go.
You let go, and it's no big deal. It's a wedding.
I let go, and I have to face the wrath of Dr. Sloan.
My mom manages a grocery store,
and ever since I got engaged, she's been putting herself into serious debt
over hand-engraved place cards and chocolate fountains.
It's her dream.
My wedding is her dream.
This is so important to her.
This is what she's been living for since I can remember, since...
my dad left.
My perfect night.
So...
I can do this.
I can do this for her...
because she's done a lot for me.
Get me a crash cart right now.
Must have happened when she fell this morning, which means she was bleeding all day.
She seemed just fine.
She must have been feeling some major pain.
Yeah, holding on to that dress, that wasn't easy for her.
It was humiliating. It was--
But when someone's trying to break you, it gives you drive, gives you strength.
Holding on to that dress for hours-- I mean, days-- you know, just...
and in public, refusing to buckle, refusing to beg--
that hard-core. I mean, in its own way, that's seriously hard-core.
Rumor has it that Sloan was busy hazing one of his interns today.
I take it you didn't buckle.
No, sir.
Good man, O'Malley.
Huh, I can't feel anything from the neck down.
It's almost like the rest of me just...
doesn't exist.
Okay, the sound you're about to hear, that's the saw.
That-- that's not a pretty sound.
I brought you some music.
Just listen to this and tune it all out.
And-- and-- and that smell.
- That-- that smell is not... - That's the cautery.
I-I know it's hard, but you'll get used to it.
In a moment or two, you won't even notice it. I promise.
He jumped out of that plane.
No one forced him to do it.
Fell 12,000 feet.
People chasing death down, then trying to cheat it.
Doesn't make any kind of sense to me.
There's a clarity thing.
When you cross over the edge,
there's a moment when everything... just melts away, and you're fearless.
I get it. I understand wanting to feel like that.
Oh, hey. Hi, there. You're awake.
Did I win?
You should know that your surgery went very well.
But who won?
Is she still holding on?
Helena collapsed.
She's in surgery.
So-- so I won?
She-- she collapsed, which-- which means I won, right?
Where-- where's the judge?
You-- the woman that you stood next to for two days almost died.
Okay, you've just woken up from surgery, and all that you can think about is if you won a stupid contest?
Don't you get it?
You-- you shouldn't have to fight this hard for a wedding.
You fight for a marriage, and sometimes even that is a lost cause.
Sometimes you have to know when to let go.
So just let go already, all right?
Just frickin' let go.
Yeah, but...
did I win?
Izzie stuck a picture of a bird on an empty saline bag and put it in his eyeline.
That's smart. I wouldn't have thought of that.
She doesn't let me take care of her.
It's not my job anymore.
She won't let me.
I'm taking care of her.
You're, uh...
you're, uh, you're looking at my heart?
you're looking at my...
actual heart?
Better than that, mr. Arnold, we're fixing it.
And, uh, all-- all those people, uh, up there in the observation deck, they're--
they're, uh, looking at it, too?
They are.
People watching me.
People watching me instead of, uh...
it's-- it's so weird, uh, to be the one being watched.
It-- it's so weird.
How you doing there, mr. Arnold?
You need anything?
Uh, uh, it's--it's cold, uh, co-cold in here.
Uh, I-I need to cover up.
Uh, uh, c-cover me up.
Uh, okay?
Um, cov-cover me up.
C-cov-cover me up.
Yeah, we're gonna-- we're-- we're gonna cover your legs with more blankets right now.
Oh, c-cov-cover me up.
Okay?
Okay, cov--cover me up.
His heart rate's up to 168.
Damn it.
You know, uh, ev-everybody's watching, uh, and--and, uh, I-I need to be covered up.
I-I need-- I-I can't stay like this.
I can't stay like this.
You need--need-- I-I can' I can't.
No, stop right now.
Just-- just stop the surgery.
Stop! Stop it!
Stop! Stop, okay, I-I mean it.
Get your hands out of me.
Please stop!
Mr. Arnold, I need you to calm down so that your heart can calm down.
Okay, hey, mr. Arnold.
Mr. Arnold.
Look at me. Look at me!
Good. Okay.
Now I want you to focus on-- on the observation deck, okay?
Pretend that it's a tree line or a shoreline or something-- something with birds.
Those aren't people up there watching you, those are birds-- your birds-- and you're watching them.
So tell me, mr. Arnold, about the birds.
Tell me. Tell me about the birds.
I-I can't.
You can.
How about her?
That woman in--in the far left?
What kind of bird would she be?
Okay, okay, uh, uh, I guess, um, uh, she-- she has a long neck.
Uh, so she'd-- she'd be an Ibis, s-some kind of Ibis.
Okay, good. Great. Great.
Who's next?
Uh, okay.
Th-that one, uh, doing-- doing that little, uh, dance with her fingers.
Um, she's a...
she-- she's the Purple Sandpiper.
Uh, yeah, th-those are tough little birds.
Those are survivors.
And, um, and him, uh, with the, uh, the-- the sad eyes, uh-huh, he would--
he's a, uh, a Thrush, a Black-Headed Nightingale Thrush.
And-- and the tall one standing there, uh,
watching over everything, over, uh, everyone--
uh-huh, he doesn't miss a thing.
He's a...
a Great Blue Heron.
No question.
Hey, how's, uh, how's, uh, how's your bride?
Did she, uh, pull through okay?
Please tell me that you let go first.
I absolutely cannot handle my bride winning that way.
What?
Oh, nothing. I Just, uh...
I just didn't know if we-- we'd ever be able to...
talk again.
I'm letting go.
I have to...
let go.
Why didn't you tell anybody you were hurting?
You would've made me let go.
Hell yeah, I would've.
I guess I lost anyway.
No, actually, I let go first.
You did?
Someone had to catch you.
Here, a hundred grand.
Have a nice life.
We won.
Oh, my god. I can't believe I'm crying over this.
We did this.
We actually did this.
No, sweetie, you did it.
This was all you.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but I'm a little disappointed.
I mean, I survived a 12,000-foot freefall, and this is gonna be my only scar?
It goes away.
The scar?
The feeling.
That feeling that you have right now, today,
that feeling like you can do anything,
that clarity, it goes away.
And you go right back to being the coward who can't tell the person you love how you feel.
I saw your video.
You saw the...
But you're not gonna let Sally see it, right?
You're n gonna let her know what I said?
Like I said...
it goes away.
It's going away right now.
You have to tell her how you feel, right now while you still can.
She is just so incredible, I mean, at everything she does.
She's way out of my league. You don't understand.
There is no way that she could possibly feel the same way that--
Well, if she doesn't feel the same way, then you move on.
But if you never find out how she feels,
then that won't be your only scar.
He doesn't have any secret fetishes, right?
He really-- he doesn't strike me as a fetish kind of guy.
Hey, Richard, you gotta tell us what this evening is about.
You've been obtuse, it's been fun but, you know, we're getting a little freaked out now.
What's a gentlemen's evening?
It's an evening with no ladies, just gentlemen.
- That's it? - Well, yeah.
Pretty boys living in the woods.
This is very charming.
Or sad.
I'm not sure which.
What happened to no ladies?
Plans change.
What are you doing tonight?
As in, uh...
What are you doing tonight?
Look, uh...
I'm not a nice guy.
I don't date. I don't call the next day.
I--I'm not looking for a relationship 'cause I'm never good at 'em.
And honestly, I'm kinda hung up on somebody else. So...
the only thing you're ever gonna get from me is sex. That's it.
And, uh, that's never enough for girls like you.
Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hard-core.
But being hard-core isn't just about being tough.
Oh, this is just unfair!
In your face, banker. Park Place is mine.
Give it up.
Come on.
Yeah, oh, with a hotel!
- I think you owe him money. - Take a look at that.
It's about acceptance.
George.
I'm exhausted.
Every bone...
and every muscle in my body...
aches.
And I don't think I can do this.
I don't-- it's not that I don't want to, because I do.
I really, really do.
It's just that I-I just spent six and a half hours on my feet in surgery,
and I can barely hold myself up, and I'm just so tired.
this is-- this is like a-- a rare bird, George.
You know, I mean, the first time that we're together since--
since we were together, and it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
I don't want to waste it. I don't want to waste it on a night
that I'm too exhausted to enjoy it because I want to enjoy our rare bird, George.
I need to enjoy our rare bird.
Me, too. I...
and oh, my hand is just, uh, it's just killing me from holding that dress.
S-so maybe to-- maybe tonight's not the perfect night.
Maybe a perfect night is...
another night.
Really?
Do you want to maybe, uh...
go to sleep?
Oh, thanks.
Okay.
Did you only shave one of your legs?
I know. I'm sorry.
No, no, I was just wondering. It's cool.
It's--it's okay. Sorry.
It's--it's-- oh, my god. I can't do it.
Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hard-core for once.
Maybe I should take a sleeping pill.
Oh, no. Don't do that.
You'll just get strung out and turn into a bad afterschool special.
We'll just sleep, and...you'll sleep.
I can't stop, Cristina.
I just can't stop seeing Derek.
And it's not about the sex. It's not...
about the sex.
It's about that moment afterward...
when the world stops.
It just feels so safe...
so safe.
I'm not ready to give that up.
Does that make me sad and weak and pathetic?
A little bit.
What do I do?
I don't know.
You don't have to be tough every minute of every day.
It's okay to let down your guard.
In fact, there are moments when it's the best thing you could possibly do...
as long as you choose your moments wisely.
Alex, please tell me that you don't live with Meredith Grey.