1
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:30,198
There's a social worker
out there with my kids.

2
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:31,899
If this takes a while...

3
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:33,200
We've got them.

4
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,468
Don't worry.

5
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,237
I just need the papers.

6
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,560
We're gonna begin now.

7
00:00:59,594 --> 00:01:01,094
You can sit next to him.

8
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,848
Wait.

9
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,364
- Ma'am...
- Just wait!

10
00:01:55,035 --> 00:01:56,803
Derek.

11
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:02,356
Derek.

12
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:05,947
He was the love of my life.

13
00:02:06,923 --> 00:02:08,724
He was.

14
00:02:08,953 --> 00:02:12,122
I doubt I'll ever love another
man the way I loved him.

15
00:02:12,147 --> 00:02:13,848
I'm certain I won't.

16
00:02:13,873 --> 00:02:15,507
How could I?

17
00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:17,968
But he's gone. That's the point, isn't it?

18
00:02:17,993 --> 00:02:20,795
He's gone, and I'm here, and, uh...

19
00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:22,620
I'm here.

20
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,048
Are you okay?

21
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:29,716
Richard...

22
00:02:29,751 --> 00:02:32,586
Hey, Torres, I need help on
a hip disarticulation today.

23
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,719
- You want in?
- Ooh, maybe.

24
00:02:34,744 --> 00:02:36,699
Uh, wait, you have to finish your story.

25
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,459
So, you actually had to break his knee?

26
00:02:38,484 --> 00:02:41,352
No. So, I had to shove the
rod back in there even harder,

27
00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:43,311
and it wound up cracking
the tibial plateau.

28
00:02:43,336 --> 00:02:45,231
- Can I help you?
- You're hogging the pot.

29
00:02:45,256 --> 00:02:46,523
Everything looks different now.

30
00:02:46,548 --> 00:02:48,215
It feels so...

31
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,460
Different.

32
00:02:49,485 --> 00:02:52,954
Maybe ask nicely, like
a civilized human being.

33
00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:54,028
- Callie?
- Hmm?

34
00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:55,513
- May I have the carafe, please?
- Oh!

35
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,065
- Mm-hmm.
- See?

36
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,423
It's quite easy, actually.

37
00:02:58,581 --> 00:02:59,714
Really?

38
00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:03,459
Hey, Mer, I heard there
was weather near Dulles.

39
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,436
Derek's flight got delayed, didn't it?

40
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:07,071
I hate that airport.

41
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:10,090
Pierce, my gallbladder guy's
pacemaker keeps misfiring.

42
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:11,558
You think you can take a look at it?

43
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,560
Yeah, uh, I could do it right now.

44
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,118
- Mm.
- Derek is dead.

45
00:03:15,143 --> 00:03:17,701
No, you can't. No, um, I need
you to place an IVC filter

46
00:03:17,726 --> 00:03:19,956
- on my laminectomy patient.
- Okay, right.

47
00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:23,036
- Um, I could swing by in about 20.
- Derek is dead.

48
00:03:23,071 --> 00:03:24,342
What was that?

49
00:03:24,482 --> 00:03:25,882
Derek...

50
00:03:26,269 --> 00:03:27,903
Is dead.

51
00:03:36,184 --> 00:03:38,173
I don't know what to do.

52
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:40,253
I mean, I do...

53
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:42,289
I know what I should do, but...

54
00:03:44,092 --> 00:03:45,392
I don't know.

55
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,030
I don't know.

56
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,066
Meredith...

57
00:03:53,101 --> 00:03:54,768
Meredith...

58
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,269
- He's not dead.
- Meredith, what do you mean? Meredith?

59
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:58,171
What do you mean?

60
00:03:58,206 --> 00:03:59,906
Meredith? Meredith?

61
00:03:59,941 --> 00:04:02,008
What do you... No!

62
00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:03,627
I've lost him.

63
00:04:03,652 --> 00:04:06,290
Everything changed, and now it's...

64
00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:08,882
It's hard to accept it, I guess.

65
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:11,885
He's gone.

66
00:04:12,482 --> 00:04:14,550
He's just gone.

67
00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:17,177
And there's no getting him back.

68
00:04:18,226 --> 00:04:21,161
Grey's Anatomy 11x22
She's Leaving Home

69
00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:25,732
Sync and corrections by Albanda
www.Addic7ed.com

70
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,835
Dr. Eisenberg, 4673.

71
00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:30,170
Dr. Eisenberg...

72
00:04:30,204 --> 00:04:32,973
You can't go in there.

73
00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,675
- What?
- Not until you've stopped crying.

74
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,981
Right.

75
00:04:38,865 --> 00:04:40,618
Okay, okay.

76
00:04:40,643 --> 00:04:41,708
I know.

77
00:04:41,883 --> 00:04:43,650
Hey, how is she?

78
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,157
She's all right. She's dehydrated.

79
00:04:45,182 --> 00:04:46,983
How's Amelia holding up?

80
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,822
What, she doesn't know?

81
00:04:49,847 --> 00:04:51,515
She's in surgery.

82
00:04:51,621 --> 00:04:53,155
You know the protocol.

83
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,639
Yeah.

84
00:04:55,664 --> 00:04:57,231
I know the protocol.

85
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,102
Cervical spine is fractured.

86
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,642
So are both legs. Right foot has no pulse.

87
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:06,563
We're gonna need to stabilize his spine.

88
00:05:06,588 --> 00:05:08,417
What did they say he was... a cop?

89
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,477
Yeah, he fell off a building
under construction during a chase.

90
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,399
- Sorry it took me so long.
- I was, um...

91
00:05:12,424 --> 00:05:15,293
It's fine. We brought him
straight in from the helipad.

92
00:05:15,318 --> 00:05:18,620
Central line is in. Transfuse
him with two units of blood.

93
00:05:18,645 --> 00:05:20,312
Torres, you should look at his leg.

94
00:05:22,857 --> 00:05:24,224
Torres?

95
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:26,823
Yes. The leg.

96
00:05:27,674 --> 00:05:28,674
All right, sir,

97
00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:31,210
I need you to follow
my light with your eyes.

98
00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:33,165
All right, good.

99
00:05:33,484 --> 00:05:34,837
Do you know where you are?

100
00:05:35,015 --> 00:05:36,315
Do you know your name?

101
00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:37,425
Dan.

102
00:05:38,485 --> 00:05:40,219
- Pruitt.
- That's his name... Dan Pruitt.

103
00:05:40,253 --> 00:05:43,656
I, uh, treated him a few months back.

104
00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:45,691
Pressure's dropping.

105
00:05:45,726 --> 00:05:48,227
Let's start him on a dopamine
drip and page general surgery.

106
00:05:48,261 --> 00:05:50,329
Let's get moving! Put him under!

107
00:06:03,243 --> 00:06:04,944
Can we have the room, please?

108
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:11,603
Did you need something?

109
00:06:11,628 --> 00:06:13,596
Maybe we should have this
conversation in my office.

110
00:06:13,621 --> 00:06:15,856
Look, I don't have time for...

111
00:06:29,202 --> 00:06:30,736
Who died?

112
00:06:30,771 --> 00:06:32,271
Amelia...

113
00:06:32,305 --> 00:06:34,106
I know the face.

114
00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:36,518
I've been here before.

115
00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:40,046
Everyone thinks they are
the first person in the world

116
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,026
to ever look at a human
being like that, but...

117
00:06:43,962 --> 00:06:45,629
It's always the same face.

118
00:06:47,421 --> 00:06:49,088
Who is dead?

119
00:06:49,122 --> 00:06:50,940
Derek.

120
00:06:53,427 --> 00:06:55,292
It's Derek.

121
00:06:58,265 --> 00:07:00,282
I'm so, so sorry.

122
00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:04,096
It was an MVC accident,
and he wanted to help.

123
00:07:04,121 --> 00:07:05,655
I don't need the details.

124
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:07,342
Dead is dead.

125
00:07:08,881 --> 00:07:10,527
I am so...

126
00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:13,029
So sorry. I wish there
was something I could...

127
00:07:13,064 --> 00:07:14,475
Thank you...

128
00:07:14,903 --> 00:07:15,970
For telling me.

129
00:07:15,995 --> 00:07:18,001
- Amelia, if there's anything I can...
- I'm good.

130
00:07:18,035 --> 00:07:20,489
I've done this before. I know the drill.

131
00:07:20,972 --> 00:07:22,739
It's not a big deal.

132
00:07:35,052 --> 00:07:37,854
Oh, my God.

133
00:07:44,562 --> 00:07:47,931
This is a day for us to
celebrate Derek Shepherd's life

134
00:07:47,965 --> 00:07:51,468
and for each of us to say our goodbyes.

135
00:07:51,502 --> 00:07:57,173
Every day we celebrate him in some way...

136
00:07:57,208 --> 00:08:01,111
As a father, as a husband...

137
00:08:01,145 --> 00:08:07,951
as a brother, as a friend.

138
00:08:35,379 --> 00:08:37,080
it was a nice service.

139
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:40,083
I liked your poem.

140
00:08:51,729 --> 00:08:53,029
If something happens to me,

141
00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:56,333
do not let them hook me up to anything.

142
00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:58,702
Nothing. Understand?

143
00:08:58,736 --> 00:08:59,836
Just...

144
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:03,206
Donate my organs and let me go.

145
00:09:05,509 --> 00:09:07,544
If that's what you want...

146
00:09:07,578 --> 00:09:09,813
- Okay.
- Okay.

147
00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:17,654
But if something happens to me...

148
00:09:17,688 --> 00:09:20,056
Hook me up... To everything

149
00:09:20,091 --> 00:09:22,659
and never let them unplug me... ever.

150
00:09:22,693 --> 00:09:24,693
Ben, I'm not joking about this.

151
00:09:25,229 --> 00:09:26,901
Neither am I.

152
00:09:26,926 --> 00:09:27,964
I want to live.

153
00:09:27,999 --> 00:09:30,200
I want extraordinary measures.

154
00:09:30,234 --> 00:09:32,502
The more extraordinary, the better.

155
00:09:34,872 --> 00:09:36,583
Seriously.

156
00:09:37,008 --> 00:09:38,875
Seriously.

157
00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,144
Seriously?

158
00:09:52,423 --> 00:09:54,157
No running ever.

159
00:09:54,191 --> 00:09:55,816
That we'll take care of each other

160
00:09:55,841 --> 00:09:57,360
even when we're old and smelly.

161
00:09:57,395 --> 00:09:58,762
Tumor is here.

162
00:09:58,796 --> 00:10:00,196
Now you've completely lost your mind.

163
00:10:00,231 --> 00:10:01,665
You're like coming up for fresh air.

164
00:10:01,699 --> 00:10:03,946
It's you. It's always been you.

165
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,235
They offered me the job again.

166
00:10:05,269 --> 00:10:06,636
Take it.

167
00:10:07,605 --> 00:10:10,073
Someone doesn't want to put her shoes on.

168
00:10:10,107 --> 00:10:11,508
Look, she's just so happy.

169
00:10:11,542 --> 00:10:13,775
You don't have any idea
what's gonna happen, do you?

170
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,581
Derek.

171
00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:17,005
Derek.

172
00:10:18,582 --> 00:10:20,953
Richard, you can't leave
me! Richard, Richard!

173
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,855
I was swimming...

174
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,456
And I let go.

175
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,326
I stopped fighting.

176
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,896
Meredith, get up.

177
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,665
Zo-zo, honey, wake up.

178
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,835
Put these on.

179
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,305
You ready?

180
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,748
Where are we going?

181
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,650
Away, sweetie.

182
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,371
We're going away.

183
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,632
Come on, sweetheart, let's go.

184
00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:14,517
It's just so strange that
she left with no warning.

185
00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:15,642
She left a note.

186
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,211
Uh, "the kids and I are
safe"? Yeah, that's helpful.

187
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:21,081
I called Yang again, but she hasn't
heard from Mer since the funeral.

188
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,516
Are you serious? That was weeks ago.

189
00:11:23,551 --> 00:11:25,819
W... Okay, I just don't understand.

190
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,883
I don't understand. I do
not understand how you...

191
00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:30,480
Uh, you want to go to a meeting after this?

192
00:11:30,587 --> 00:11:32,121
I'm good. Thanks.

193
00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:34,623
- Are you?
- "So long, I'll see you later" or...

194
00:11:34,658 --> 00:11:36,116
You're basically living at the hospital.

195
00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:37,793
"trouble due to the fact that I am all... "

196
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:38,961
I'm fine, Richard, really...

197
00:11:38,995 --> 00:11:40,296
"world right now."

198
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,075
I mean, she just dropped everything...

199
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,165
Her patients, her surgeries.

200
00:11:43,199 --> 00:11:45,367
Look, maybe it's time we hire a detective,

201
00:11:45,402 --> 00:11:46,969
make sure she's really safe.

202
00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:49,405
Yeah, I think we should call the police.

203
00:11:49,439 --> 00:11:50,806
Okay, that's... that's enough.

204
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,342
Meredith Grey is not a missing person.

205
00:11:53,376 --> 00:11:55,044
She... She left a note.

206
00:11:55,078 --> 00:11:57,212
She's not jeopardizing her kids.

207
00:11:57,247 --> 00:11:59,014
She's not an irresponsible person.

208
00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:02,926
If she's gone, she's gone
because she wants to be gone.

209
00:12:03,186 --> 00:12:05,225
She's doing what she knows how to do.

210
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:07,356
Same as her mother.

211
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:10,559
Ellis Grey left Seattle
and never looked back.

212
00:12:12,429 --> 00:12:13,696
So, that's it? That...

213
00:12:15,069 --> 00:12:17,204
We just let her go?

214
00:12:22,272 --> 00:12:24,067
You've reached Dr. Meredith Grey.

215
00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:40,389
You've reached Dr. Meredith Grey.

216
00:12:41,317 --> 00:12:43,468
_

217
00:12:46,844 --> 00:12:49,051
And time isn't the same over there.

218
00:12:49,076 --> 00:12:51,645
- Hours don't exist.
- There's only minutes, seconds.

219
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,337
It's visceral and exciting.

220
00:12:53,362 --> 00:12:54,929
But you're chief. Uh...

221
00:12:54,954 --> 00:12:55,938
Well, not for the next few months.

222
00:12:55,972 --> 00:12:58,374
Webber is stepping in as interim chief.

223
00:12:58,408 --> 00:13:01,643
The work I'll get to do is raw and urgent.

224
00:13:01,678 --> 00:13:04,079
Kepner, you just feel so useful and good

225
00:13:04,114 --> 00:13:05,294
at the end of every day,

226
00:13:05,319 --> 00:13:07,449
and after everything
that's happened here, I...

227
00:13:07,484 --> 00:13:08,821
I'm ready.

228
00:13:08,846 --> 00:13:10,981
I'm ready for this kind of
change. I just need to feel...

229
00:13:11,006 --> 00:13:12,125
Useful.

230
00:13:12,262 --> 00:13:13,829
And good.

231
00:13:14,457 --> 00:13:16,425
Yeah.

232
00:13:19,662 --> 00:13:21,330
I don't care how sick the kids are.

233
00:13:21,364 --> 00:13:22,670
I'm not doing this next year.

234
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:29,282
Our patient has 60% surface area burns.

235
00:13:29,316 --> 00:13:32,084
She was pulled from a house fire
this morning. Are you even listening?

236
00:13:32,119 --> 00:13:33,653
I'm... I'm sorry. I just...

237
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:34,720
You need to prepare yourself.

238
00:13:34,755 --> 00:13:36,261
Burns like this are...

239
00:13:36,923 --> 00:13:38,190
Difficult.

240
00:13:38,225 --> 00:13:39,959
This will not be easy.

241
00:13:43,196 --> 00:13:44,463
Hi, Anne.

242
00:13:44,498 --> 00:13:45,998
Dr. Wilson and I

243
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,470
are here to start your
first dressing changes.

244
00:13:49,236 --> 00:13:51,265
I'm so cold.

245
00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:52,838
I can't stop shaking.

246
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:57,543
I mean, isn't that weird, that...
that I got burned and... I'm cold?

247
00:13:57,577 --> 00:14:00,646
Well, your skin and your nerves
have experienced severe damage.

248
00:14:00,681 --> 00:14:04,161
You are unable to retain
heat or feel surface pain.

249
00:14:04,418 --> 00:14:06,519
Dr. Wilson, do you want
to walk Anne through

250
00:14:06,553 --> 00:14:07,909
what we're gonna be doing today?

251
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:10,402
We'll debride the burns layer by layer

252
00:14:10,427 --> 00:14:13,045
until we expose healthy tissue to...

253
00:14:13,081 --> 00:14:14,339
Help new skin grow.

254
00:14:14,528 --> 00:14:16,595
And it hurts like hell,

255
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:19,065
so you might want to grab onto something.

256
00:14:19,099 --> 00:14:22,068
- The bed rails work really well.
- Who's that?

257
00:14:22,102 --> 00:14:23,569
That... that's your neighbor, J.J.

258
00:14:23,603 --> 00:14:25,438
She was admitted a couple weeks ago.

259
00:14:25,472 --> 00:14:28,040
- Hello, J.J.
- Oh, and do yourself a favor...

260
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,193
Grab something to bite down on.

261
00:14:30,218 --> 00:14:31,818
That's not... Thank you, J.J.

262
00:14:31,843 --> 00:14:34,450
- Is she serious?
- We've got you under sedation.

263
00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:35,671
Barely works!

264
00:14:35,696 --> 00:14:37,078
Really, J.J.?

265
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:41,187
We are going to do this as
quickly as possible, okay, Anne?

266
00:14:41,221 --> 00:14:44,056
Um... Is my husband out there?

267
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:47,249
Oh, um, I don't see him,
but we can track him down.

268
00:14:47,274 --> 00:14:48,415
- Should I...
- Uh, sure, yeah.

269
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,941
Just... just be quick, okay?

270
00:14:49,966 --> 00:14:51,546
Ready to get started?

271
00:14:52,466 --> 00:14:54,667
Okay. You ready?

272
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,802
Okay.

273
00:14:56,837 --> 00:14:58,176
Ow. Ow!

274
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,335
- Oh, ow, that... that hurts!
- I know.

275
00:15:03,711 --> 00:15:05,211
Okay, you see,

276
00:15:05,236 --> 00:15:08,015
that's why you want to get
something to bite down on!

277
00:15:10,238 --> 00:15:14,274
I... I never... I never
said you were boring.

278
00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:16,028
Don't deny it.

279
00:15:16,177 --> 00:15:18,412
I got the whole story out of a resident...

280
00:15:18,446 --> 00:15:20,147
You thought I was boring.

281
00:15:20,181 --> 00:15:22,215
That's why we never had a second date.

282
00:15:23,351 --> 00:15:24,803
And, uh...

283
00:15:25,019 --> 00:15:27,254
Which resident told you this?

284
00:15:28,829 --> 00:15:30,820
I'm not gonna put my C.I. at risk.

285
00:15:30,845 --> 00:15:33,126
- Um...
- That's a confidential informant.

286
00:15:33,161 --> 00:15:34,871
It's cop talk.

287
00:15:35,029 --> 00:15:37,531
I'd elaborate, but you might
think it's a little too boring.

288
00:15:40,334 --> 00:15:42,536
Relax, I'm just messing with you.

289
00:15:46,328 --> 00:15:48,308
Oh, okay, all right.

290
00:15:48,342 --> 00:15:49,476
Take it easy.

291
00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:51,812
That graft we used to close
your abdomen is breaking down,

292
00:15:51,846 --> 00:15:53,695
and you're gonna need
another series of surgeries

293
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,020
just to complete the closure,

294
00:15:55,192 --> 00:15:57,951
let alone to complete your spinal fusion.

295
00:15:57,985 --> 00:15:59,953
What about my leg?

296
00:15:59,987 --> 00:16:01,354
I know it's in pretty rough shape,

297
00:16:01,389 --> 00:16:03,190
but I'm gonna need it
back if I'm gonna go back

298
00:16:03,224 --> 00:16:05,792
to chasing crooks and
leaping over rooftops,

299
00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:09,162
you know, all that super-boring cop stuff.

300
00:16:09,197 --> 00:16:11,965
Come on.

301
00:16:11,999 --> 00:16:14,267
Don't make it that
easy. Give a little back.

302
00:16:14,302 --> 00:16:15,802
I can take it, you know?

303
00:16:15,837 --> 00:16:19,207
Dan, I can't make you any
promises about your leg.

304
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,341
I'm gonna do everything that I can,

305
00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:24,015
but I am not confident that
we'll be able to save it.

306
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,456
There's a very, very long road ahead.

307
00:16:26,481 --> 00:16:27,481
Wow.

308
00:16:27,515 --> 00:16:30,150
When you sling it back,
you don't mess around.

309
00:16:31,219 --> 00:16:32,987
But silver lining...

310
00:16:33,012 --> 00:16:34,855
This means you'll have that much more time

311
00:16:34,889 --> 00:16:36,356
to fall in love with me.

312
00:16:39,055 --> 00:16:41,228
Ow. Your face...

313
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:43,396
Priceless.

314
00:16:43,431 --> 00:16:45,565
Yeah.

315
00:17:09,423 --> 00:17:12,259
How is what you're doing any
different than Meredith Grey?

316
00:17:12,293 --> 00:17:13,760
We've been over this...

317
00:17:13,794 --> 00:17:15,262
Because my husband didn't die,

318
00:17:15,296 --> 00:17:17,330
because I'm not running away from anything,

319
00:17:17,365 --> 00:17:19,332
because this is an
incredible opportunity for me

320
00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:22,435
to learn surgical techniques
that I've never even dreamed of.

321
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:23,937
Jackson, it's only three months.

322
00:17:23,971 --> 00:17:26,506
You could at least
pretend to be happy for me.

323
00:17:26,541 --> 00:17:27,908
Why? I don't like it.

324
00:17:27,942 --> 00:17:29,409
I don't.

325
00:17:29,443 --> 00:17:30,710
It's dangerous.

326
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:31,945
I'm not gonna be fighting!

327
00:17:31,979 --> 00:17:33,413
I'm gonna be doing surgery.

328
00:17:33,447 --> 00:17:35,248
I'm gonna be teaching, helping.

329
00:17:35,283 --> 00:17:38,285
These are all things that
you do here every day.

330
00:17:38,319 --> 00:17:40,854
It makes me excited.

331
00:17:42,723 --> 00:17:43,890
Happy.

332
00:17:43,925 --> 00:17:45,725
Please...

333
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,361
I need this.

334
00:17:48,396 --> 00:17:49,896
I want it.

335
00:17:49,931 --> 00:17:51,298
It's three months.

336
00:17:51,332 --> 00:17:54,434
Flight 721 to Los Angeles...

337
00:17:54,468 --> 00:17:56,102
My flight's about to board.

338
00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:58,605
I... well, I can't
leave if we're like this.

339
00:17:58,639 --> 00:18:02,375
Will you at least kiss me goodbye?

340
00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:34,451
_

341
00:18:37,447 --> 00:18:39,915
Ready? 1, 2...

342
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:41,450
You do know what you're doing?

343
00:18:41,485 --> 00:18:42,618
I'm a surgeon.

344
00:18:42,652 --> 00:18:46,566
Gonna ruin my day at the
lake, poking a hornet's nest.

345
00:18:46,591 --> 00:18:47,968
You know that's a saying.

346
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,294
People do not actually
poke the hornet's nest.

347
00:18:50,319 --> 00:18:51,486
I didn't do it on p...

348
00:18:51,511 --> 00:18:52,878
Ow! What's... what?

349
00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:54,364
You baby.

350
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:56,366
And you want to be kept alive forever.

351
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,435
You can't deal with a
pair of sharp tweezers.

352
00:18:58,469 --> 00:19:03,507
You want to be intubated,
catheterized, multiple I.V.s,

353
00:19:03,541 --> 00:19:07,511
central lines in the neck and groin,

354
00:19:07,545 --> 00:19:10,380
and bed sores all because
you can't get it together,

355
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:12,637
let Jesus take the wheel.

356
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:15,490
What?

357
00:19:15,515 --> 00:19:17,653
Look, look, if I am lying in a hospital bed

358
00:19:17,688 --> 00:19:20,157
in such bad shape that
it has reached that point

359
00:19:20,191 --> 00:19:21,191
that some doctor

360
00:19:21,225 --> 00:19:23,460
is talking to you about
extraordinary measures,

361
00:19:23,494 --> 00:19:25,796
I am not gonna let Jesus take the wheel.

362
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,564
No, you know when Jesus
should've taken the wheel,

363
00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:29,533
when he should've been
flipping his turn signals

364
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:30,667
and shifting gears?

365
00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:32,335
When whatever bad thing that happened

366
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,971
to make me suffer a traumatic
brain injury was happening,

367
00:19:35,006 --> 00:19:38,308
but instead, Jesus was clearly
out joyriding with someone else

368
00:19:38,342 --> 00:19:40,577
because there I am gorked in a bed.

369
00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:42,579
So, no, I'm not gonna
let Jesus take the wheel.

370
00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:44,481
I'm not gonna let Jesus
anywhere near my damn car!

371
00:19:44,515 --> 00:19:46,516
I'm driving!

372
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:49,553
Science is driving.

373
00:19:51,622 --> 00:19:54,591
I did not stab him in the
neck with these tweezers.

374
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,294
I want that noted.

375
00:19:56,627 --> 00:19:58,428
Hey. Anything today?

376
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,397
- No. You?
- Nothing.

377
00:20:00,431 --> 00:20:02,099
Still no word at all?

378
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,500
She doesn't reply to e-mails.

379
00:20:03,534 --> 00:20:05,602
Or her freakin' phone.

380
00:20:05,636 --> 00:20:07,237
Two hours... two...

381
00:20:07,271 --> 00:20:08,772
For a routine neuro consult.

382
00:20:08,806 --> 00:20:10,340
I get we're down a guy, but I'm sorry,

383
00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:11,496
the board needs to get off their asses

384
00:20:11,521 --> 00:20:13,910
and hire a new neurosurgeon already.

385
00:20:13,945 --> 00:20:16,113
Don't make a scene. It's not worth it.

386
00:20:16,147 --> 00:20:17,180
I know.

387
00:20:17,205 --> 00:20:18,548
Well, it's irresponsible is what it is.

388
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:19,763
It's bad management.

389
00:20:19,788 --> 00:20:21,084
How hard is it to find o...

390
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,886
Really?!

391
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,287
Really?

392
00:20:24,322 --> 00:20:26,423
You think that we need
to just get off our asses?

393
00:20:26,457 --> 00:20:27,891
We should do you that solid

394
00:20:27,925 --> 00:20:29,926
because the loss of
our colleague and friend

395
00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:32,696
is all about your needs, your schedule?

396
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,598
You think that we should
be sensitive to that?

397
00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:35,832
How about you take a minute

398
00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:39,302
to think about the person, the
talent, the life that we lost?!

399
00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:42,405
How about you think before
you start complaining

400
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,842
that Derek Shepherd's death
has been inconvenient for you?!

401
00:20:56,487 --> 00:20:58,323
I made a scene.

402
00:21:02,493 --> 00:21:04,895
Okay, there are hypertrophic bone spurs.

403
00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:06,763
We just need to bite them
off, and we'll be set.

404
00:21:06,797 --> 00:21:08,298
So, no foraminotomy?

405
00:21:08,332 --> 00:21:09,266
I really don't think we need it.

406
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:10,267
Oh, really?

407
00:21:10,301 --> 00:21:12,469
Because I'm not having
any success with his leg.

408
00:21:12,503 --> 00:21:14,895
He's... probably gonna lose it

409
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,950
and Dan and I were hoping he's a viable
candidate for a bionic prosthesis,

410
00:21:17,975 --> 00:21:22,078
so if he's in chronic pain
or in a C-collar for too long

411
00:21:22,113 --> 00:21:23,413
and that delays rehab, which...

412
00:21:23,447 --> 00:21:24,614
I realize this isn't the method

413
00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:26,183
my dear, dead brother would have used.

414
00:21:26,217 --> 00:21:27,617
His method would actually be clunkier

415
00:21:27,652 --> 00:21:29,619
and offer less support than mine,

416
00:21:29,654 --> 00:21:31,421
so let's do it my way.

417
00:21:31,455 --> 00:21:35,998
I don't think Derek will
mind, on account of he is dead.

418
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,327
Cool?

419
00:21:37,361 --> 00:21:40,630
Sure. Totally, totally cool.

420
00:21:40,665 --> 00:21:41,798
Great.

421
00:21:41,832 --> 00:21:43,800
- Rongeur, please.
- Ohh!

422
00:21:43,834 --> 00:21:45,468
Ow!

423
00:21:45,503 --> 00:21:47,270
Oh, no, it hurts more!

424
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:48,605
Honey, honey, you're doing great.

425
00:21:48,639 --> 00:21:50,040
I know that it's painful,

426
00:21:50,074 --> 00:21:51,308
but that just means that you're healing,

427
00:21:51,342 --> 00:21:52,809
and then the more you heal,

428
00:21:52,843 --> 00:21:55,011
- the more your nerves regrow.
- The more your nerves regrow.

429
00:21:55,046 --> 00:21:56,546
Yeah, isn't that a bitch?

430
00:21:56,581 --> 00:21:59,149
The better you get, the more it hurts.

431
00:21:59,183 --> 00:22:01,618
And then they send Dr. Wilson in here.

432
00:22:01,652 --> 00:22:03,486
What, all the ugly doctors are busy

433
00:22:03,521 --> 00:22:06,389
so they got to enlist Snow White

434
00:22:06,424 --> 00:22:08,291
to come and peel us like a grape?

435
00:22:08,326 --> 00:22:09,859
J.J., you're not helping!

436
00:22:09,894 --> 00:22:13,029
No, no, actually, that's... that's funny!

437
00:22:13,064 --> 00:22:15,699
She is p...

438
00:22:16,901 --> 00:22:18,635
I know.

439
00:22:18,669 --> 00:22:22,239
I mean, seriously, they're
sending in a Disney princess,

440
00:22:22,273 --> 00:22:23,473
so what does that make us?

441
00:22:23,507 --> 00:22:25,308
The seven dwarves?

442
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:27,744
Two of them, anyway.

443
00:22:27,778 --> 00:22:30,313
Okay, I'm, um, I'll be Burny,

444
00:22:30,348 --> 00:22:31,915
and you can be screamy.

445
00:22:33,584 --> 00:22:37,053
And... and, you know, there... there's...

446
00:22:37,088 --> 00:22:38,655
There's that guy down the hall

447
00:22:38,689 --> 00:22:40,523
Who just lost a leg

448
00:22:40,558 --> 00:22:45,647
and... and that woman who's
in the trauma room next to me.

449
00:22:46,097 --> 00:22:48,231
And she was, like, dying,

450
00:22:48,266 --> 00:22:50,066
but she wouldn't stop complaining

451
00:22:50,101 --> 00:22:53,570
about the service she was getting.

452
00:22:53,604 --> 00:22:56,673
They c... They can be dwarves, too.

453
00:22:56,707 --> 00:22:59,298
Stumpy and Bitchy.

454
00:22:59,777 --> 00:23:01,511
Stumpy and Bitchy.

455
00:23:02,713 --> 00:23:04,681
Yeah. Yeah.

456
00:23:06,894 --> 00:23:08,828
Okay, I'm gonna go again.

457
00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:15,525
I'm right here. I got you.

458
00:23:15,559 --> 00:23:16,926
It's okay. You're okay.

459
00:23:16,961 --> 00:23:18,528
It's okay.

460
00:23:18,562 --> 00:23:20,597
You know who they should've sent in here

461
00:23:20,631 --> 00:23:23,066
was Mary freakin' Poppins.

462
00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:24,434
I bet she had some morphine

463
00:23:24,468 --> 00:23:26,703
in that bag of crap she
carried around with her.

464
00:23:27,838 --> 00:23:32,742
Okay, so we got, um, Burny,
Screamy, Stumpy, Bitchy.

465
00:23:32,777 --> 00:23:34,844
- Who else?
- For God's sake, shut up!

466
00:23:39,934 --> 00:23:41,288
Lance...

467
00:23:43,410 --> 00:23:45,752
Okay, we're gonna take five, okay?

468
00:23:45,856 --> 00:23:47,261
Lance?

469
00:23:55,299 --> 00:23:57,653
He's just scared.

470
00:23:58,669 --> 00:24:01,073
This is scary for him.

471
00:24:01,972 --> 00:24:04,474
Then, um, he fits in perfectly.

472
00:24:04,508 --> 00:24:06,076
Okay, we've got, um,

473
00:24:06,110 --> 00:24:10,814
we've got Burny, Screamy,
Stumpy, Bitchy, and Scaredy.

474
00:24:11,602 --> 00:24:14,351
Yeah.

475
00:24:19,942 --> 00:24:22,507
_

476
00:24:23,381 --> 00:24:24,748
We should try to find her.

477
00:24:24,783 --> 00:24:27,651
She's not a rogue agent.
She's not on the lam.

478
00:24:27,685 --> 00:24:30,087
She's a single mother with two kids.

479
00:24:30,121 --> 00:24:31,588
How hard could it be?

480
00:24:31,623 --> 00:24:33,157
Really freakin' hard.

481
00:24:33,191 --> 00:24:35,392
I called anyone I could think of...

482
00:24:35,426 --> 00:24:37,161
Cristina, her father...

483
00:24:37,195 --> 00:24:39,196
And then I thought maybe Webber was right,

484
00:24:39,230 --> 00:24:41,431
maybe she followed in Ellis' footsteps.

485
00:24:41,466 --> 00:24:42,924
So, I started calling hospitals in Boston

486
00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:46,003
and asking for Dr. Grey just
to see if anyone would answer.

487
00:24:47,438 --> 00:24:50,407
Oh. Wow.

488
00:24:50,441 --> 00:24:52,409
Yeah, here we go.

489
00:24:55,246 --> 00:24:58,348
This isn't why I came to Seattle.

490
00:24:58,383 --> 00:25:00,626
Ooh.

491
00:25:01,096 --> 00:25:05,633
I didn't know exactly
why I was coming, but...

492
00:25:05,957 --> 00:25:08,592
I knew it had to do with
finding out about my family,

493
00:25:08,626 --> 00:25:10,410
and I found Meredith.

494
00:25:11,462 --> 00:25:12,963
And then she...

495
00:25:16,392 --> 00:25:19,891
I never felt abandoned by my birth mother.

496
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,942
My parents never let me, not for a second.

497
00:25:23,352 --> 00:25:25,487
We were meant to be a family.

498
00:25:25,512 --> 00:25:27,713
I believe that. I know that.

499
00:25:30,850 --> 00:25:32,217
But...

500
00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:40,115
But I think this is how I would've felt...

501
00:25:42,031 --> 00:25:43,932
If I had.

502
00:25:47,436 --> 00:25:49,271
You've reached Dr. Meredith Grey.

503
00:25:49,305 --> 00:25:51,339
Look, cut it out.

504
00:25:51,374 --> 00:25:52,908
It's not fair to any of us.

505
00:25:52,942 --> 00:25:54,976
Just tell me that you're
okay and that you're safe.

506
00:25:55,011 --> 00:25:57,445
That's all. Just do that.

507
00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:12,093
- Hey.
- Hey.

508
00:26:12,128 --> 00:26:13,628
Why haven't you been picking up today?

509
00:26:13,663 --> 00:26:15,330
I've been working.

510
00:26:15,364 --> 00:26:17,632
Okay, well, now I've only
got a couple mikes, so...

511
00:26:17,667 --> 00:26:20,335
- Who's... who's Mike? What?
- Uh, mikes, uh, minutes.

512
00:26:20,369 --> 00:26:21,536
I just... I have to hurry.

513
00:26:21,571 --> 00:26:24,439
Oh, okay, well, only a couple
more days of this, right?

514
00:26:24,473 --> 00:26:27,442
Pretty soon, you'll be back here and
we'll be both on the same crazy schedule.

515
00:26:27,476 --> 00:26:29,010
Yeah, right, that's what I have to...

516
00:26:29,045 --> 00:26:30,111
Oh, I have a confession to make.

517
00:26:30,146 --> 00:26:31,405
- Um...
- So do I.

518
00:26:31,430 --> 00:26:32,435
We have a new couch.

519
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:34,549
There was an accident involving molé

520
00:26:34,584 --> 00:26:37,218
and a really exciting national
league playoff game, actually,

521
00:26:37,253 --> 00:26:40,555
and, um, couldn't get
the stain out, so just...

522
00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:42,515
New couch.

523
00:26:42,692 --> 00:26:44,991
I'm not coming home next week.

524
00:26:47,096 --> 00:26:48,730
- What?
- I just...

525
00:26:48,764 --> 00:26:50,465
- I can't...
- Apr... ?

526
00:26:50,499 --> 00:26:53,401
Teaching people these techniques.
Uh, we've barely started.

527
00:26:53,436 --> 00:26:55,704
I mean, the level of need here is so...

528
00:26:55,738 --> 00:26:57,706
Children.

529
00:26:57,740 --> 00:26:59,474
I mean, Jackson, if you were here,

530
00:26:59,508 --> 00:27:00,909
you'd know what I'm talking about.

531
00:27:00,943 --> 00:27:04,546
It's just... just, I don't
feel like I'm done yet.

532
00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:06,581
Understand?

533
00:27:06,616 --> 00:27:07,968
I do.

534
00:27:08,241 --> 00:27:10,442
And... I don't.

535
00:27:10,467 --> 00:27:11,486
I mean, are you...

536
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,355
Are you telling me that's your decision,

537
00:27:13,389 --> 00:27:15,190
or you want to talk about this now, or...

538
00:27:15,224 --> 00:27:16,725
Well, now, uh...

539
00:27:16,759 --> 00:27:19,771
No, I can't... I can't now.

540
00:27:19,796 --> 00:27:22,331
Um, can I try you back at 1300 hours?

541
00:27:22,356 --> 00:27:24,890
I'll be sleeping. That's like 3:00 A.M.

542
00:27:24,915 --> 00:27:27,658
All right, so, when are
you saying you can be home?

543
00:27:27,683 --> 00:27:29,517
April?

544
00:27:29,572 --> 00:27:30,939
- Jackson...
- April?

545
00:27:40,183 --> 00:27:43,352
This is such a lovely meal.

546
00:27:43,377 --> 00:27:44,788
Really nice.

547
00:27:45,526 --> 00:27:47,549
More than nice.

548
00:27:50,349 --> 00:27:52,417
You keep me on my toes, Catherine Avery.

549
00:27:54,515 --> 00:27:56,054
You make me very happy.

550
00:28:10,659 --> 00:28:11,792
Richard Webber,

551
00:28:11,827 --> 00:28:14,827
if you are about to do what
I believe you're about to do,

552
00:28:14,852 --> 00:28:16,190
you should stop.

553
00:28:18,984 --> 00:28:21,121
- Catherine, w...
- No, please, please.

554
00:28:21,146 --> 00:28:24,181
You should not be asking this question

555
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,434
without knowing my answer.

556
00:28:26,469 --> 00:28:28,213
Well, I thought I did.

557
00:28:28,517 --> 00:28:30,584
We are not new to this.

558
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,407
We know better than to get caught up

559
00:28:32,441 --> 00:28:35,174
in some grand, romantic gesture.

560
00:28:35,378 --> 00:28:38,146
We know what marriage really is.

561
00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:40,181
It's a merger, a contract.

562
00:28:40,216 --> 00:28:42,150
No one should enter a binding contract

563
00:28:42,184 --> 00:28:46,395
without careful, lengthy,
practical consideration.

564
00:28:46,856 --> 00:28:49,090
Sounds so romantic.

565
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:51,255
No, and it shouldn't be.

566
00:28:51,794 --> 00:28:55,933
You know what? Yes, it should.

567
00:28:57,166 --> 00:28:59,701
You know, I pulled back
on the romance tonight

568
00:28:59,735 --> 00:29:01,204
because I knew...

569
00:29:02,705 --> 00:29:04,706
If I could...

570
00:29:04,740 --> 00:29:06,975
I'd fill this room with roses.

571
00:29:07,009 --> 00:29:10,345
I'd have invited all of our friends.

572
00:29:10,379 --> 00:29:12,881
I would've hired a quartet or a soloist

573
00:29:12,915 --> 00:29:14,549
or a damn mariachi band

574
00:29:14,583 --> 00:29:17,185
to start playing the minute you said yes,

575
00:29:17,219 --> 00:29:21,523
because a proposal should be romantic.

576
00:29:21,557 --> 00:29:23,924
It's... That's how I see it.

577
00:29:24,593 --> 00:29:28,363
It's not a... Hollow gesture.

578
00:29:28,397 --> 00:29:31,866
It's me... telling you...

579
00:29:31,901 --> 00:29:33,968
how much I love you.

580
00:29:35,093 --> 00:29:36,838
But, um...

581
00:29:38,507 --> 00:29:40,408
Clearly, we disagree.

582
00:29:45,357 --> 00:29:48,349
I take it we're splitting the check?

583
00:29:55,076 --> 00:29:58,108
_

584
00:30:00,901 --> 00:30:02,435
Oh!

585
00:30:02,469 --> 00:30:03,870
All right, where's the remote?

586
00:30:03,904 --> 00:30:05,538
Splash on over to...

587
00:30:05,572 --> 00:30:08,007
You know, uh, people wake up.

588
00:30:08,754 --> 00:30:10,889
Statistically, people don't wake up.

589
00:30:10,914 --> 00:30:12,582
Well, who's to say I couldn't defy the odds

590
00:30:12,616 --> 00:30:13,622
and... and be a miracle man?

591
00:30:13,647 --> 00:30:15,218
There you go with the miracles again.

592
00:30:15,252 --> 00:30:17,086
Oh, you believe in Jesus but
you don't believe in miracles?

593
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,522
Um, Jesus didn't hook you
up to a bunch of machines.

594
00:30:19,556 --> 00:30:20,690
Jesus isn't an idiot.

595
00:30:20,724 --> 00:30:23,159
Okay, you know what?

596
00:30:23,193 --> 00:30:24,427
You and all your little snide comments,

597
00:30:24,461 --> 00:30:25,528
you can take them and you can...

598
00:30:25,562 --> 00:30:26,762
- Oh, it's back on.
- Mm.

599
00:30:29,433 --> 00:30:30,933
Okay, see, she's about to die.

600
00:30:30,968 --> 00:30:32,869
Oh, she's definitely gonna die.

601
00:30:35,841 --> 00:30:39,443
Look at this guy's spinal abscess.

602
00:30:39,611 --> 00:30:41,445
Sloppy.

603
00:30:41,470 --> 00:30:43,137
- Who was the primary?
- Dr. Nelson.

604
00:30:43,205 --> 00:30:44,972
Ah, it figures.

605
00:30:45,007 --> 00:30:48,976
If Derek saw this, he would
roll over in his grave.

606
00:30:49,578 --> 00:30:51,345
Can you actually do that?

607
00:30:51,380 --> 00:30:53,280
Roll over in a grave?

608
00:30:53,315 --> 00:30:54,901
I mean, a casket's pretty snug.

609
00:30:54,926 --> 00:30:57,718
There's not a lot of room to move in there.

610
00:30:57,753 --> 00:30:59,050
More like shake.

611
00:30:59,075 --> 00:31:01,846
If Derek saw this, he
would shake in his grave.

612
00:31:01,871 --> 00:31:03,272
Shimmy, maybe.

613
00:31:03,297 --> 00:31:04,368
Please stop.

614
00:31:04,799 --> 00:31:06,078
Stop what?

615
00:31:06,103 --> 00:31:09,472
You've been making a lot of
jokes and comments about...

616
00:31:09,497 --> 00:31:10,663
My dead brother?

617
00:31:10,866 --> 00:31:12,466
Yeah, which...

618
00:31:12,501 --> 00:31:14,869
No judgment... it just
makes me very uncomfortable.

619
00:31:14,903 --> 00:31:16,370
Why? It's the truth.

620
00:31:16,405 --> 00:31:18,406
He's my brother...

621
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,273
And he's dead.

622
00:31:23,912 --> 00:31:26,347
Y... There are some...

623
00:31:28,684 --> 00:31:31,752
I checked, and there are
some grief groups that meet,

624
00:31:31,787 --> 00:31:34,422
and I just thought,
look, I can go with you.

625
00:31:34,456 --> 00:31:37,158
My grandmother passed last year.
It would be really good for me, too.

626
00:31:37,192 --> 00:31:39,827
Edwards, I have a morbid
sense of humor, but I'm fine.

627
00:31:39,861 --> 00:31:41,762
I don't need a group.

628
00:31:41,797 --> 00:31:45,499
But thank you. It's very thoughtful of you.

629
00:31:45,534 --> 00:31:47,535
- Okay?
- Okay.

630
00:31:47,569 --> 00:31:50,505
Let's just put it to rest.

631
00:31:50,772 --> 00:31:52,473
Like my brother.

632
00:31:53,542 --> 00:31:54,857
Ha!

633
00:31:56,478 --> 00:31:59,320
Agh!

634
00:31:59,345 --> 00:32:00,731
You're doing great, Anne.

635
00:32:00,756 --> 00:32:03,057
It's okay.

636
00:32:03,082 --> 00:32:04,849
Just keep going.

637
00:32:06,888 --> 00:32:09,890
Tell me more about how you're gonna fix me.

638
00:32:09,925 --> 00:32:12,359
Okay, well, our next surgery

639
00:32:12,394 --> 00:32:15,029
is to remove skin from around your hips

640
00:32:15,063 --> 00:32:19,327
and graft onto these cheek
scars here and then here.

641
00:32:20,569 --> 00:32:23,127
So, you're gonna chop off my love handles?

642
00:32:24,811 --> 00:32:26,779
Did you hear that, J.J.?

643
00:32:26,804 --> 00:32:28,916
I'm gonna get a smaller waist out of this.

644
00:32:28,941 --> 00:32:32,077
Oh, they can take whatever
they want off my ass.

645
00:32:35,450 --> 00:32:37,151
When do we get started?

646
00:32:37,185 --> 00:32:39,954
Well, I just need to get
that infection in your nose

647
00:32:39,988 --> 00:32:42,990
under control before we
start the grafting procedures.

648
00:32:43,024 --> 00:32:44,690
I see.

649
00:32:46,411 --> 00:32:49,997
So, where's husband of the year today?

650
00:32:50,838 --> 00:32:52,666
He was here this morning.

651
00:32:52,701 --> 00:32:54,435
Brought bagels.

652
00:32:54,469 --> 00:32:55,798
She doesn't need bagels.

653
00:32:56,505 --> 00:32:57,872
She needs a hand to hold.

654
00:32:59,708 --> 00:33:01,642
So, um...

655
00:33:01,676 --> 00:33:03,310
So, it's still gonna be a little while

656
00:33:03,345 --> 00:33:05,546
before we really get
going with the grafts, huh?

657
00:33:06,815 --> 00:33:08,082
Okay.

658
00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:09,650
Yeah, that's okay.

659
00:33:09,684 --> 00:33:12,453
Excuse me.

660
00:33:23,064 --> 00:33:24,732
Sorry about that.

661
00:33:30,124 --> 00:33:32,491
_

662
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,281
No, no, no, no, that's dessert!

663
00:33:40,315 --> 00:33:42,616
I am sorry, but that
turkey is three hours away.

664
00:33:42,651 --> 00:33:44,118
I didn't know it was gonna take all day.

665
00:33:44,152 --> 00:33:45,953
Didn't your mother ever teach
you how to roast a turk...

666
00:33:45,987 --> 00:33:47,988
No, 'cause I never had a mother

667
00:33:48,023 --> 00:33:50,090
and I didn't have an oven in my car.

668
00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:52,526
Point taken.

669
00:33:52,561 --> 00:33:54,234
Doesn't help the fact that I'm starving.

670
00:33:54,259 --> 00:33:56,072
- I have food.
- Oh, my God, thank you!

671
00:33:56,097 --> 00:33:58,299
Damn it, Alex.

672
00:33:58,333 --> 00:34:00,167
Hey, it was a good effort,

673
00:34:00,202 --> 00:34:02,736
but the only thing that bird is
stuffed with is food poisoning.

674
00:34:02,771 --> 00:34:05,706
Oh, my God, I'm so frickin' hungry!

675
00:34:05,740 --> 00:34:06,785
Ah!

676
00:34:06,834 --> 00:34:08,935
- There.
- Mm. Mm-hmm.

677
00:34:24,598 --> 00:34:26,565
Hey! Hey, you're alive!

678
00:34:26,590 --> 00:34:27,661
Alex, listen...

679
00:34:27,696 --> 00:34:29,763
I'm fine. The kids are fine.

680
00:34:29,798 --> 00:34:31,732
We're okay. I'm fine.

681
00:34:31,766 --> 00:34:33,400
Please stop calling.

682
00:34:39,985 --> 00:34:42,735
_

683
00:34:45,606 --> 00:34:46,606
So, my partner says,

684
00:34:46,641 --> 00:34:48,442
"who's gonna play Santa
at the holiday party?"

685
00:34:48,476 --> 00:34:49,543
And I say,

686
00:34:49,577 --> 00:34:51,244
"I don't know. I'm stumped."

687
00:34:51,279 --> 00:34:52,646
Oh.

688
00:34:53,781 --> 00:34:56,483
Please, that's the easiest
amputation joke in the book.

689
00:34:56,517 --> 00:34:57,551
- Yeah.
- Hmm.

690
00:34:57,585 --> 00:34:59,653
You have plans for the holidays?

691
00:34:59,687 --> 00:35:01,455
Um, yeah, my ex and I

692
00:35:01,489 --> 00:35:03,557
are splitting Christmas with our daughter,

693
00:35:03,591 --> 00:35:05,780
so I get Christmas Eve this year,

694
00:35:05,805 --> 00:35:07,227
and, uh, she gets Christmas day.

695
00:35:07,261 --> 00:35:09,032
- Dr. Torres...
- Well...

696
00:35:10,698 --> 00:35:12,065
Callie...

697
00:35:12,100 --> 00:35:13,539
I need to say something.

698
00:35:14,102 --> 00:35:15,669
- Dan...
- No, please, just...

699
00:35:16,471 --> 00:35:18,472
Let me say this.

700
00:35:19,250 --> 00:35:21,087
I think that I was...

701
00:35:21,676 --> 00:35:22,776
I was meant to meet you.

702
00:35:22,810 --> 00:35:23,810
No, Dan, Dan.

703
00:35:23,845 --> 00:35:25,746
Dan, Dan, Dan, let me say this.

704
00:35:25,780 --> 00:35:28,582
When... when a doctor cares for a patient

705
00:35:28,616 --> 00:35:30,117
for an extended period of time,

706
00:35:30,151 --> 00:35:33,019
that care can often feel to the patient

707
00:35:33,054 --> 00:35:34,988
like, um, affection.

708
00:35:35,824 --> 00:35:37,031
What?

709
00:35:37,056 --> 00:35:38,203
What?

710
00:35:38,228 --> 00:35:40,329
I meant as my doctor,
but please keep going.

711
00:35:40,354 --> 00:35:41,388
- This is great.
- Oh...

712
00:35:41,413 --> 00:35:43,514
Oh, my God!

713
00:35:43,664 --> 00:35:45,499
Uh, look,

714
00:35:45,533 --> 00:35:47,667
that first date, it sucked.

715
00:35:47,702 --> 00:35:49,669
- Mm-hmm.
- I get it.

716
00:35:49,704 --> 00:35:52,672
But it got me to you, and I
think I needed you for this.

717
00:35:53,257 --> 00:35:54,770
Like...

718
00:35:55,877 --> 00:35:58,199
I couldn't have survived this without you.

719
00:35:59,213 --> 00:36:00,847
So, thank you.

720
00:36:05,153 --> 00:36:06,480
Merry Christmas, Dr. Torres.

721
00:36:07,855 --> 00:36:09,289
Merry Christmas.

722
00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:14,893
Tuck must've been not
even slightly naughty.

723
00:36:14,918 --> 00:36:17,553
Do not mock divorced-mother guilt.

724
00:36:17,578 --> 00:36:19,146
Oh, hand me that bow.

725
00:36:21,216 --> 00:36:23,912
What if I met Idris Elba?

726
00:36:25,244 --> 00:36:26,273
What?

727
00:36:26,307 --> 00:36:30,010
Well, you're hooked up to endless machines,

728
00:36:30,044 --> 00:36:32,479
having the time of your brain-dead life

729
00:36:32,513 --> 00:36:34,408
with extraordinary measures,

730
00:36:34,433 --> 00:36:37,602
and since you are technically alive,

731
00:36:37,929 --> 00:36:39,396
well, then I'm not single,

732
00:36:39,421 --> 00:36:41,171
I am not a widow.

733
00:36:41,218 --> 00:36:43,519
Years pass, and, uh...

734
00:36:43,833 --> 00:36:45,901
Okay, I'm not the kind of woman who...

735
00:36:46,460 --> 00:36:50,997
Okay, there are people who
think that sex isn't cheating,

736
00:36:51,032 --> 00:36:52,289
there are people out there

737
00:36:52,314 --> 00:36:55,335
who think that an emotional
affair isn't cheating.

738
00:36:55,369 --> 00:36:57,070
Well, I'm not either kind of person...

739
00:36:57,104 --> 00:36:58,438
It's all cheating.

740
00:36:58,472 --> 00:37:00,674
Even though my husband is an idiot

741
00:37:00,708 --> 00:37:03,777
who thinks that he will have
a one-in-a-zillion chance...

742
00:37:03,811 --> 00:37:05,412
Now, look, there are documented cases

743
00:37:05,446 --> 00:37:07,013
of people waking up after years of...

744
00:37:07,048 --> 00:37:09,499
There are documented cases of people
who've seen the Loch Ness monster, too.

745
00:37:09,524 --> 00:37:10,758
So what?

746
00:37:10,783 --> 00:37:13,385
I will be locked up like some nun,

747
00:37:13,410 --> 00:37:16,545
withering and wasting away lonely and alone

748
00:37:16,570 --> 00:37:17,918
all because you're mad at Jesus,

749
00:37:17,943 --> 00:37:20,044
so I don't get to have Idris.

750
00:37:20,094 --> 00:37:21,695
You're taking away my Idris chance.

751
00:37:21,729 --> 00:37:24,379
- What?
- Idris Elba!

752
00:37:24,404 --> 00:37:27,684
He could come to Seattle,
witness an accident,

753
00:37:27,709 --> 00:37:28,845
save a child's life,

754
00:37:28,870 --> 00:37:31,905
carry that child in his arms, bare-chested,

755
00:37:31,939 --> 00:37:33,106
into my trauma room.

756
00:37:33,140 --> 00:37:34,741
You don't know.

757
00:37:34,775 --> 00:37:36,600
So, you're gonna pull the plug on me

758
00:37:36,625 --> 00:37:40,494
so you can have your way with Idris Elba?

759
00:37:41,581 --> 00:37:44,183
It's Idris Elba!

760
00:37:45,518 --> 00:37:47,386
Oh, I ate too much pizza.

761
00:37:47,411 --> 00:37:49,312
Second batch!

762
00:37:49,337 --> 00:37:50,557
Deck your halls, y'all!

763
00:37:50,591 --> 00:37:53,059
I always hated eggnog.
Why is yours so good?

764
00:37:53,094 --> 00:37:54,728
Mine's mostly hooch.

765
00:37:54,762 --> 00:37:56,429
It's basically a bourbon milkshake.

766
00:37:56,464 --> 00:37:57,631
Cheers to that.

767
00:37:57,665 --> 00:38:00,734
Karev, that is definitely the
saddest tree I've ever seen.

768
00:38:00,768 --> 00:38:03,585
- Tell Robbins.
- No, uh, it's better than no tree.

769
00:38:03,610 --> 00:38:05,311
Alex was like, "why bother?"

770
00:38:05,336 --> 00:38:07,671
And I said, "you have to
have a tree at Christmas."

771
00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:09,676
Otherwise, your soul is just curdled

772
00:38:09,710 --> 00:38:12,145
and you've given up on joy,

773
00:38:12,179 --> 00:38:13,647
so I got a tree.

774
00:38:13,681 --> 00:38:14,748
I started decorating it,

775
00:38:14,782 --> 00:38:19,352
and then some woman went
into labor, so I gave up.

776
00:38:19,387 --> 00:38:21,477
"To Zola, from Sophia."

777
00:38:24,425 --> 00:38:26,393
Sophia keeps asking,

778
00:38:26,427 --> 00:38:29,863
"mommy, maybe at Christmas, we'll see Zola.

779
00:38:29,897 --> 00:38:31,431
Shouldn't we get her a present?"

780
00:38:31,465 --> 00:38:33,667
And I don't... I don't know what to say.

781
00:38:33,701 --> 00:38:35,368
I mean, I don't know if
they're ever coming back.

782
00:38:35,403 --> 00:38:37,203
Hmm, I know the feeling.

783
00:38:37,238 --> 00:38:38,238
So, I caved.

784
00:38:38,272 --> 00:38:40,240
I got a gift, just in case.

785
00:38:40,274 --> 00:38:41,474
That's the spirit.

786
00:38:42,476 --> 00:38:44,210
Hey, Merry Christmas!

787
00:38:44,245 --> 00:38:46,680
- Merry Christmas! You came!
- Yay!

788
00:38:46,714 --> 00:38:49,082
Oh, I invited Richard 'cause he
seemed a little sad and lonely.

789
00:38:49,116 --> 00:38:50,450
- Is that okay?
- Yeah.

790
00:38:50,484 --> 00:38:51,418
I brought a yule log!

791
00:38:51,452 --> 00:38:52,686
Yum!

792
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:55,855
Oh, here. Come here. Here.

793
00:38:55,890 --> 00:38:56,923
Move the dip.

794
00:38:56,957 --> 00:38:57,924
Mm-hmm.

795
00:38:57,958 --> 00:38:59,893
- Hey.
- Hey.

796
00:38:59,927 --> 00:39:02,529
How's Karev's
Christmas-not-Christmas thing?

797
00:39:02,563 --> 00:39:03,630
Uh, it's okay.

798
00:39:03,655 --> 00:39:05,865
Karev scraped together some pizza.

799
00:39:07,001 --> 00:39:09,636
I miss you. I wish you were here.

800
00:39:09,670 --> 00:39:11,938
I'm sorry. I tried...

801
00:39:11,972 --> 00:39:12,986
Really?

802
00:39:13,011 --> 00:39:16,376
You've extended this "tour of
duty" thing three times already.

803
00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:17,711
What does that make you... Colonel now?

804
00:39:17,745 --> 00:39:19,879
- Jackson...
- April...

805
00:39:19,914 --> 00:39:21,448
- It's Christmas.
- I know that.

806
00:39:21,482 --> 00:39:23,249
Don't you think I wish I
could be there with you?

807
00:39:23,284 --> 00:39:25,485
You could, actually.
You haven't been drafted.

808
00:39:25,519 --> 00:39:26,753
You should be here.

809
00:39:26,787 --> 00:39:29,456
- We're supposed to be a...
- We're supposed to have a child.

810
00:39:29,490 --> 00:39:32,392
We were supposed to be celebrating
Christmas together, the three of us,

811
00:39:32,426 --> 00:39:33,893
and every time I think
about that, I just...

812
00:39:33,928 --> 00:39:36,296
Kepner, we got to pack up and bug out.

813
00:39:36,330 --> 00:39:38,603
- What's going on?
- Um...

814
00:39:39,166 --> 00:39:41,668
No, it's fine. It's just some
insurgents that have been...

815
00:39:41,702 --> 00:39:43,336
What is happening?

816
00:39:43,370 --> 00:39:45,572
- Um, I got to go!
- April? Hold on, April?!

817
00:39:45,606 --> 00:39:46,940
A...

818
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,581
He's not worth it. He's not good enough!

819
00:39:54,615 --> 00:39:56,483
If he can't make it with you through this,

820
00:39:56,517 --> 00:39:58,985
then he's not good enough for you!

821
00:39:59,019 --> 00:40:01,488
Finally!

822
00:40:01,522 --> 00:40:02,956
Where does it hurt?! Are you in pain?!

823
00:40:02,990 --> 00:40:06,025
Her son-of-a-bitch husband shows up,

824
00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:08,161
brings her that Christmas present,

825
00:40:08,195 --> 00:40:10,530
and told her that this was
not what he signed up for,

826
00:40:10,564 --> 00:40:12,084
and walked out on her!

827
00:40:12,109 --> 00:40:14,543
Okay, okay, deep breaths.

828
00:40:14,568 --> 00:40:16,536
Okay.

829
00:40:16,570 --> 00:40:18,938
I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you
something to help you relax.

830
00:40:20,071 --> 00:40:21,841
He's an ass, sweetie!

831
00:40:21,876 --> 00:40:23,743
Oh, yeah, he is an ass.

832
00:40:25,412 --> 00:40:28,515
Shh, deep breaths, okay?

833
00:40:28,549 --> 00:40:29,650
Deep breaths.

834
00:40:29,675 --> 00:40:31,284
You're okay.

835
00:40:33,154 --> 00:40:34,821
But he's right.

836
00:40:34,855 --> 00:40:36,923
He didn't sign up for this.

837
00:40:37,785 --> 00:40:39,919
Who would?

838
00:40:39,944 --> 00:40:44,098
I mean, I've been here six months or seven.

839
00:40:44,123 --> 00:40:46,525
I've lost count, and...

840
00:40:48,056 --> 00:40:49,957
And look at me.

841
00:40:50,504 --> 00:40:53,239
I'm disgusting!

842
00:40:53,274 --> 00:40:56,476
He's married to burnt toast!

843
00:40:58,043 --> 00:41:00,428
Who would want to be married to this?

844
00:41:02,583 --> 00:41:04,633
Who would love this?

845
00:41:04,885 --> 00:41:07,227
Anne, honey...

846
00:41:07,855 --> 00:41:11,724
If this had happened to
him, would you have left him?

847
00:41:13,758 --> 00:41:15,558
Would you have loved him?

848
00:41:17,765 --> 00:41:20,700
He's not good enough for you!

849
00:41:20,734 --> 00:41:22,699
He's not right!

850
00:41:23,137 --> 00:41:25,605
This is the best Christmas
gift you could've gotten,

851
00:41:25,639 --> 00:41:29,609
knowing that he is not the man for you.

852
00:41:29,643 --> 00:41:32,278
And you don't have to spend one more minute

853
00:41:32,313 --> 00:41:35,331
with someone who is less than you deserve!

854
00:41:35,992 --> 00:41:38,327
You get to start over.

855
00:41:38,477 --> 00:41:40,312
It's a gift.

856
00:41:40,337 --> 00:41:42,838
We're starting over.

857
00:41:42,863 --> 00:41:45,271
Like it's our first Christmas, okay?

858
00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:49,275
Right?

859
00:41:55,836 --> 00:41:57,637
You know what we need?

860
00:41:57,671 --> 00:42:00,206
We need a little holiday
cheer up in here, right?

861
00:42:00,241 --> 00:42:02,205
Yeah.

862
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,562
♪ Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ♪

863
00:42:05,587 --> 00:42:07,121
Oh, really? Really?

864
00:42:07,146 --> 00:42:08,447
Songs about roasting things?

865
00:42:10,117 --> 00:42:12,392
That was an unfortunate choice.

866
00:42:12,417 --> 00:42:13,486
Uh...

867
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,455
♪ Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer ♪

868
00:42:15,489 --> 00:42:17,156
No.

869
00:42:17,191 --> 00:42:18,758
No noses.

870
00:42:18,792 --> 00:42:21,127
No noses and no fires.

871
00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:24,591
Okay, um, how about...

872
00:42:25,032 --> 00:42:26,900
"I'll be home for Christmas"?

873
00:42:30,478 --> 00:42:35,982
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪

874
00:42:36,377 --> 00:42:41,038
♪ you can plan on me ♪

875
00:42:42,478 --> 00:42:45,513
♪ please have some snow ♪

876
00:42:45,538 --> 00:42:49,341
♪ and mistletoe ♪

877
00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:56,633
♪ and presents under the tree ♪

878
00:42:57,919 --> 00:43:05,859
♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪

879
00:43:06,206 --> 00:43:11,844
♪ where the love light gleams ♪

880
00:43:14,315 --> 00:43:19,152
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪

881
00:43:22,222 --> 00:43:29,562
♪ If only in my dreams ♪

882
00:43:29,596 --> 00:43:30,663
I know you're not sleepy,

883
00:43:30,698 --> 00:43:33,210
but you have to close your
eyes or else he won't come.

884
00:43:33,235 --> 00:43:34,969
Will he bring me some toys?

885
00:43:34,994 --> 00:43:36,761
If you go to sleep.

886
00:43:36,786 --> 00:43:38,755
Will he bring me a baby sister?

887
00:43:39,873 --> 00:43:42,375
Well, not tonight.

888
00:43:43,510 --> 00:43:46,746
♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪

889
00:43:48,382 --> 00:43:51,918
♪ Where the love light gleams ♪

890
00:43:51,952 --> 00:43:55,288
I wish Daddy were here.

891
00:43:56,190 --> 00:43:59,726
♪ I'll be home ♪

892
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,701
Night-night, sweetie. Sleep tight.

893
00:44:05,199 --> 00:44:13,072
♪ If only in my dreams ♪

894
00:44:15,174 --> 00:44:16,842
I'm just not sure of anything anymore.

895
00:44:16,876 --> 00:44:18,944
I keep going over it round and round,

896
00:44:18,978 --> 00:44:21,079
over and over again.

897
00:44:21,707 --> 00:44:24,475
Like any other choice I
make, might change things.

898
00:44:26,609 --> 00:44:29,110
But no. This is the
right place for me to be.

899
00:44:29,135 --> 00:44:31,147
This is the right thing for me to do.

900
00:44:32,104 --> 00:44:33,939
I know that. I just didn't expect...

901
00:44:33,973 --> 00:44:36,841
That it would hurt quite this much.

902
00:44:40,646 --> 00:44:43,484
Sweetie, don't go too far!

903
00:44:48,821 --> 00:44:50,455
- Mommy.
- Meredith.

904
00:44:52,825 --> 00:44:54,459
You grew up.

905
00:44:54,493 --> 00:44:55,827
I did.

906
00:44:55,861 --> 00:44:58,082
It's a shame.

907
00:44:58,628 --> 00:45:01,429
It's awful being a grown-up.

908
00:45:01,454 --> 00:45:03,254
But the carousel never stops turning.

909
00:45:03,279 --> 00:45:05,814
And I want more.

910
00:45:05,839 --> 00:45:08,274
Of this, of us, of...

911
00:45:10,109 --> 00:45:12,010
I want to have more.

912
00:45:12,044 --> 00:45:13,912
- Another baby?
- Sure.

913
00:45:13,946 --> 00:45:15,914
Uh, seriously?

914
00:45:15,948 --> 00:45:20,118
Listen, I love you, and you love me, and...

915
00:45:20,152 --> 00:45:21,703
Whatever happens...

916
00:45:21,728 --> 00:45:22,854
I don't care.

917
00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:25,857
No more doctors, no more labs,

918
00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:27,815
and you and I, we have a lot of sex.

919
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,876
Maybe we can make a baby, maybe not.

920
00:45:31,230 --> 00:45:34,099
Maybe you get Alzheimer's,
maybe not, but this...

921
00:45:34,133 --> 00:45:36,262
I am calling post-it...

922
00:45:36,287 --> 00:45:38,188
Zola and Bailey...

923
00:45:38,677 --> 00:45:40,612
And tumors on the walls...

924
00:45:40,637 --> 00:45:42,304
And ferry-boat scrub caps.

925
00:45:42,575 --> 00:45:44,509
You're everything.

926
00:45:44,543 --> 00:45:46,295
Meredith, I can't live without you.

927
00:45:47,146 --> 00:45:49,090
I don't want to live without you,

928
00:45:50,816 --> 00:45:54,853
and I'm gonna do everything
in my power to prove it.

929
00:45:54,887 --> 00:45:56,888
You've never lost the love of your life.

930
00:45:56,922 --> 00:45:58,523
You've never cried over the body

931
00:45:58,557 --> 00:46:00,658
of the person you love most in this world.

932
00:46:00,693 --> 00:46:01,940
You...

933
00:46:02,020 --> 00:46:04,889
You don't know how that messes a person up.

934
00:46:05,073 --> 00:46:07,165
You've never had to claw
your way back from that.

935
00:46:08,152 --> 00:46:11,121
I can live without you,

936
00:46:11,146 --> 00:46:12,780
but I don't want to.

937
00:46:14,874 --> 00:46:17,400
I don't ever want to.

938
00:46:21,414 --> 00:46:24,182
The carousel never stops turning.

939
00:46:25,284 --> 00:46:26,651
You can't get off.

940
00:46:36,469 --> 00:46:38,805
_

941
00:46:42,468 --> 00:46:45,070
Sir, I hear you saying
that you have no answers,

942
00:46:45,104 --> 00:46:47,026
but I need you to have some damn answers!

943
00:46:47,213 --> 00:46:48,613
That...

944
00:46:51,386 --> 00:46:52,853
Hey.

945
00:46:52,878 --> 00:46:53,989
Is everything okay?

946
00:46:54,014 --> 00:46:56,649
No, everything's not okay.

947
00:46:56,674 --> 00:46:58,641
She should never have gone.

948
00:46:58,666 --> 00:47:01,200
April should never have gone
to a freakin' combat zone.

949
00:47:01,225 --> 00:47:02,759
I know. I know it's hard.

950
00:47:02,784 --> 00:47:04,285
It's not just hard.

951
00:47:04,310 --> 00:47:07,078
- It's...
- Just... she lost a leg.

952
00:47:08,794 --> 00:47:11,129
You know, with everything
that happened this past year

953
00:47:11,163 --> 00:47:13,098
with you and your baby, she...

954
00:47:13,699 --> 00:47:16,067
She lost a leg.

955
00:47:16,102 --> 00:47:19,971
And she's learning how
to walk again, and you...

956
00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:23,174
You have to let her do that.

957
00:47:25,256 --> 00:47:26,657
Why?

958
00:47:26,682 --> 00:47:28,317
Why should I do that?

959
00:47:28,380 --> 00:47:30,548
Why does she get to go off
and put herself in danger

960
00:47:30,583 --> 00:47:32,236
and just leave me here to...

961
00:47:34,353 --> 00:47:36,907
If she lost a leg, then I lost a leg, too.

962
00:47:37,523 --> 00:47:39,669
But guess what... I still
get up every morning.

963
00:47:39,694 --> 00:47:41,128
I face every day.

964
00:47:41,153 --> 00:47:43,628
I don't get to jump on a plane and
fly halfway across the damn world

965
00:47:43,662 --> 00:47:45,130
so that all that April has left of me

966
00:47:45,164 --> 00:47:48,333
is some crappy memory of me yelling
at her from a picture on a phone!

967
00:47:48,367 --> 00:47:50,135
Wait, what happened?

968
00:47:52,171 --> 00:47:53,467
We were talking,

969
00:47:53,492 --> 00:47:56,862
and then there was gunfire, a lot of it,

970
00:47:56,887 --> 00:47:58,454
and the call got cut off.

971
00:47:58,479 --> 00:48:00,681
And I have not been able
to get ahold of her since.

972
00:48:00,706 --> 00:48:03,341
I don't know...

973
00:48:03,366 --> 00:48:04,667
Where she is.

974
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:08,802
I don't even know where she is.

975
00:48:15,227 --> 00:48:16,494
All I'm saying is,

976
00:48:16,529 --> 00:48:19,783
I just don't understand how you
can know a man and love a man

977
00:48:19,808 --> 00:48:21,709
and not see eye-to-eye with him

978
00:48:21,734 --> 00:48:23,960
- on such a basic, fundamental thing.
- Exactly.

979
00:48:23,985 --> 00:48:25,753
Richard wants to propose

980
00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:28,880
by drowning me in flowers

981
00:48:28,905 --> 00:48:30,983
and chocolate-covered rose petals.

982
00:48:31,010 --> 00:48:32,435
You'd think a man would be grateful

983
00:48:32,460 --> 00:48:35,547
for a woman who allows him to
avoid that kind of nonsense.

984
00:48:35,581 --> 00:48:37,949
Or maybe it's just not about you.

985
00:48:38,841 --> 00:48:40,742
I beg your pardon?

986
00:48:40,767 --> 00:48:42,868
Nothing. Sorry, none of my business.

987
00:48:42,893 --> 00:48:45,828
Well, you seem to have made
it your business, so elaborate.

988
00:48:45,853 --> 00:48:47,020
Please.

989
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,311
Maybe it just makes him feel good.

990
00:48:50,596 --> 00:48:54,399
Maybe it's easier just to
accept a bunch of dumb roses

991
00:48:54,433 --> 00:48:57,502
than to ask a man to
fundamentally change who he is

992
00:48:57,536 --> 00:49:00,305
or do what makes him feel good,
when what makes him feel good

993
00:49:00,339 --> 00:49:02,575
is telling you how good you make him feel.

994
00:49:03,776 --> 00:49:06,836
Maybe by not letting him give you that,

995
00:49:06,861 --> 00:49:09,096
you're actually taking
something away from him.

996
00:49:12,284 --> 00:49:13,869
Sorry.

997
00:49:13,915 --> 00:49:15,582
No, it's...

998
00:49:15,607 --> 00:49:17,474
You're protecting him.

999
00:49:17,499 --> 00:49:19,399
I understand.

1000
00:49:22,228 --> 00:49:23,895
Happy new year!

1001
00:49:23,929 --> 00:49:25,196
- How are we feeling...
- Shh!

1002
00:49:26,532 --> 00:49:28,199
Oh.

1003
00:49:29,462 --> 00:49:31,930
Good.

1004
00:49:32,050 --> 00:49:34,275
Sorry, we were up all night,

1005
00:49:34,300 --> 00:49:36,768
and I... I know, I know that's bad,

1006
00:49:36,793 --> 00:49:39,288
but  we wanted to watch the ball drop,

1007
00:49:39,313 --> 00:49:41,384
and then we started talking
and we couldn't shut up.

1008
00:49:41,409 --> 00:49:42,852
So, I told her

1009
00:49:42,877 --> 00:49:45,445
that I would take the
first torture shift today...

1010
00:49:45,470 --> 00:49:48,472
Just let her sleep.

1011
00:49:53,331 --> 00:49:55,927
I feel like I fell asleep 10 minutes ago.

1012
00:49:56,662 --> 00:50:00,849
Hey, did you know that J.J.
Was a volunteer firefighter?

1013
00:50:03,759 --> 00:50:05,483
And then she gets burned at a...

1014
00:50:05,508 --> 00:50:08,705
At a tailgate party for
a seahawks game, huh?

1015
00:50:09,790 --> 00:50:13,325
Oh, we sort of died laughing at the irony,

1016
00:50:13,579 --> 00:50:15,992
and then we cried about it.

1017
00:50:17,516 --> 00:50:19,111
Then we laughed again.

1018
00:50:23,877 --> 00:50:26,512
Um, I'm just gonna go grab
something really quick.

1019
00:50:26,537 --> 00:50:27,796
Wait, stop.

1020
00:50:28,093 --> 00:50:29,794
What's going on?

1021
00:50:30,996 --> 00:50:32,263
What's wrong?

1022
00:50:32,955 --> 00:50:34,022
Is it J.J.?!

1023
00:50:34,324 --> 00:50:36,467
Wait, I know something's wrong.

1024
00:50:36,502 --> 00:50:39,237
- Anne, you have to lay back.
- J.J.?! J.J.?! J.J.?!

1025
00:50:39,271 --> 00:50:40,638
- You have to lay back.
- No, no, no, no, no!

1026
00:50:40,673 --> 00:50:42,173
You'll tear your skin.

1027
00:50:42,207 --> 00:50:44,257
No! No!

1028
00:50:44,282 --> 00:50:46,313
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

1029
00:50:46,338 --> 00:50:48,097
- She's gone.
- Oh!

1030
00:50:49,948 --> 00:50:52,483
Oh, no, she can't be!

1031
00:50:52,518 --> 00:50:53,618
She can't!

1032
00:50:53,652 --> 00:50:56,226
I can't do this without her!

1033
00:50:56,251 --> 00:50:58,219
I can't do it alone!

1034
00:51:04,705 --> 00:51:07,740
I raised you to be an
extraordinary human being,

1035
00:51:07,775 --> 00:51:10,109
so imagine my disappointment
when I wake up after five years

1036
00:51:10,144 --> 00:51:12,712
and discover that you're
no more than ordinary!

1037
00:51:15,149 --> 00:51:17,617
What happened to you?!

1038
00:51:18,421 --> 00:51:19,883
You're ignoring me.

1039
00:51:19,908 --> 00:51:21,408
Um... trying to.

1040
00:51:21,433 --> 00:51:22,599
You shouldn't ignore me.

1041
00:51:22,624 --> 00:51:23,691
Why not?

1042
00:51:23,991 --> 00:51:26,690
Because I'm someone you
need to get to know to love.

1043
00:51:27,895 --> 00:51:29,595
- Really?
- Oh, yes.

1044
00:51:30,864 --> 00:51:32,165
So, if I know you, I'll love you.

1045
00:51:32,199 --> 00:51:34,000
Oh, yes.

1046
00:51:34,034 --> 00:51:36,869
You really like yourself, huh?

1047
00:51:36,904 --> 00:51:38,471
Just hiding my pain.

1048
00:51:41,675 --> 00:51:43,343
So, what's your story?

1049
00:51:44,478 --> 00:51:46,512
My mother tried to kill
herself when I was a kid...

1050
00:51:49,016 --> 00:51:51,451
After the love of her life disappeared.

1051
00:51:54,188 --> 00:51:56,622
I never told anybody that before.

1052
00:52:01,895 --> 00:52:03,896
So, you think I'm broken?

1053
00:52:06,333 --> 00:52:08,067
Is there a reason for this?

1054
00:52:08,102 --> 00:52:10,903
Because if you can think of
a reason, any reason at all,

1055
00:52:10,938 --> 00:52:16,642
why the universe is so screwed
up and random and mean...

1056
00:52:23,617 --> 00:52:26,586
Now would be an amazingly
good time to tell me

1057
00:52:26,620 --> 00:52:28,721
because I really need some answers.

1058
00:52:28,756 --> 00:52:30,523
I know. I know you do. Come here.

1059
00:52:33,093 --> 00:52:34,527
I don't...

1060
00:52:34,561 --> 00:52:37,230
I can't! I can't!

1061
00:52:37,264 --> 00:52:38,865
I don't...

1062
00:52:38,899 --> 00:52:40,733
I don't...

1063
00:52:40,768 --> 00:52:45,259
Slow, deep breaths, slow, deep breaths.

1064
00:52:51,045 --> 00:52:52,845
Here. Take this.

1065
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,281
Slow down, slow down.

1066
00:52:57,284 --> 00:52:59,519
Just breathe in. Take a deep breath. Go.

1067
00:53:18,105 --> 00:53:20,339
You can say anything to me.

1068
00:53:21,942 --> 00:53:23,185
I want to marry you.

1069
00:53:25,548 --> 00:53:26,915
I want to have kids with you.

1070
00:53:26,940 --> 00:53:28,590
I want to build us a house.

1071
00:53:30,417 --> 00:53:33,119
I want to settle down
and grow old with you.

1072
00:53:35,334 --> 00:53:37,599
I want to die when I'm 110 years old

1073
00:53:37,624 --> 00:53:38,958
in your arms.

1074
00:53:39,524 --> 00:53:42,562
I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours.

1075
00:53:43,697 --> 00:53:45,726
I want a lifetime.

1076
00:53:50,104 --> 00:53:53,826
He's gone, and I know he's gone.

1077
00:53:54,007 --> 00:53:55,675
And the bed feels lonely.

1078
00:53:57,978 --> 00:54:00,513
It's like... I don't
know how to sleep alone.

1079
00:54:13,660 --> 00:54:15,321
I miss you.

1080
00:54:24,037 --> 00:54:26,606
I believe that we can
be extraordinary together

1081
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,342
rather than ordinary
apart, and I want to be...

1082
00:54:58,772 --> 00:55:02,175
Okay, now, go slow, okay?

1083
00:55:02,209 --> 00:55:05,511
Go slow, concentrate, okay?

1084
00:55:12,487 --> 00:55:14,563
- You ready?
- Yeah.

1085
00:55:16,089 --> 00:55:17,557
Holy crap!

1086
00:55:17,591 --> 00:55:19,501
It's moving.

1087
00:55:19,526 --> 00:55:21,927
That's great. Great.

1088
00:55:24,097 --> 00:55:25,498
That's great!

1089
00:55:25,532 --> 00:55:27,381
- One more.
- Yeah.

1090
00:55:28,664 --> 00:55:30,665
Yes, it's great!

1091
00:55:30,690 --> 00:55:33,792
That was the best first run
of any patient I've ever had!

1092
00:55:33,817 --> 00:55:35,852
- You did it!
- No, you did it.

1093
00:55:36,926 --> 00:55:38,793
I would never have done this without you.

1094
00:55:42,458 --> 00:55:44,328
Um, okay, I take it back.

1095
00:55:44,353 --> 00:55:45,987
I take it back. It was all me.

1096
00:55:46,012 --> 00:55:47,479
No, no, no.

1097
00:55:47,504 --> 00:55:50,782
It was you. It was you, and it was me, and

1098
00:55:51,109 --> 00:55:52,869
The reason that your brain

1099
00:55:52,894 --> 00:55:56,330
can tell your new leg what to do is, um...

1100
00:55:56,355 --> 00:55:58,723
It all started because of these...

1101
00:55:58,748 --> 00:56:01,783
These, uh, badass little sensors

1102
00:56:01,808 --> 00:56:05,032
Made by an amazing neurosurgeon who...

1103
00:56:07,341 --> 00:56:09,141
You're right.

1104
00:56:09,176 --> 00:56:12,202
We don't know why we meet the
people that we meet, but...

1105
00:56:12,862 --> 00:56:14,965
I wouldn't be here without him.

1106
00:56:15,849 --> 00:56:18,342
He was a brilliant surgeon, and...

1107
00:56:18,952 --> 00:56:20,653
He was a good friend.

1108
00:56:20,687 --> 00:56:22,555
And, uh...

1109
00:56:22,980 --> 00:56:24,736
He would've loved this.

1110
00:56:24,761 --> 00:56:26,895
He would've... He would've loved it.

1111
00:56:28,780 --> 00:56:31,749
Okay, uh, anyway

1112
00:56:31,853 --> 00:56:33,320
You want to go again?

1113
00:56:33,345 --> 00:56:36,504
- Absolutely, yeah.
- Okay.

1114
00:56:36,603 --> 00:56:38,371
All right.

1115
00:56:39,873 --> 00:56:41,307
Hi, Laura.

1116
00:56:41,341 --> 00:56:44,477
I'm here to start your
first dressing change, okay?

1117
00:56:44,511 --> 00:56:48,247
Now we're gonna debride
the burns layer by layer.

1118
00:56:48,273 --> 00:56:50,300
That'll expose healthy tissue

1119
00:56:50,325 --> 00:56:51,925
in order to help new skin to grow, okay?

1120
00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:54,818
You're gonna want something to hold on to.

1121
00:56:54,843 --> 00:56:57,011
Bed railings work pretty well.

1122
00:56:57,036 --> 00:56:58,736
This is gonna hurt.

1123
00:56:58,761 --> 00:56:59,994
Who is that?

1124
00:57:00,019 --> 00:57:02,063
This is your neighbor, Anne.

1125
00:57:02,088 --> 00:57:03,651
Oh, and do yourself a favor...

1126
00:57:03,676 --> 00:57:05,503
Find something to bite down on.

1127
00:57:05,528 --> 00:57:06,828
Thank you, Anne.

1128
00:57:06,853 --> 00:57:08,521
I know the drill. Tell her.

1129
00:57:08,546 --> 00:57:10,447
Yeah, thank you, Anne.

1130
00:57:10,637 --> 00:57:12,638
I'm gonna get started now, okay?

1131
00:57:12,673 --> 00:57:13,806
Mm-hmm.

1132
00:57:17,411 --> 00:57:19,011
It's okay.

1133
00:57:19,046 --> 00:57:20,616
It's okay.

1134
00:57:22,566 --> 00:57:23,933
It's okay.

1135
00:57:26,753 --> 00:57:29,086
You're gonna be okay.

1136
00:57:31,708 --> 00:57:33,175
Hey.

1137
00:57:35,429 --> 00:57:38,564
Sorry, I should've called. They
ordered us out really suddenly,

1138
00:57:38,598 --> 00:57:39,732
and I was hopping planes,

1139
00:57:39,766 --> 00:57:42,767
and then I thought maybe I'd
surprise you, but I can...

1140
00:57:42,792 --> 00:57:44,890
See by the look on your face that...

1141
00:57:51,545 --> 00:57:54,656
Uh, Amelia, hey, got
time for a cup of coffee?

1142
00:57:54,681 --> 00:57:56,369
Ah, sorry, busy day.

1143
00:57:56,394 --> 00:57:57,578
Yeah.

1144
00:57:57,851 --> 00:58:00,937
Uh, haven't seen you
at a meeting in a while.

1145
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:02,900
A long while.

1146
00:58:02,925 --> 00:58:04,875
Like I said, really busy.

1147
00:58:05,113 --> 00:58:07,578
Edwards mentioned something about you...

1148
00:58:07,603 --> 00:58:08,870
Really?

1149
00:58:08,895 --> 00:58:10,916
What else is Edwards saying?

1150
00:58:12,699 --> 00:58:13,966
I'm not accusing you.

1151
00:58:14,267 --> 00:58:15,720
I'm checking in.

1152
00:58:15,745 --> 00:58:17,128
You know, I get to check in.

1153
00:58:17,153 --> 00:58:18,520
That's the kind of friends we are.

1154
00:58:18,545 --> 00:58:19,764
I do not have time for coffee.

1155
00:58:19,789 --> 00:58:21,557
I do not have time for meetings.

1156
00:58:21,582 --> 00:58:24,718
I don't... my job is not to
make you feel better about me.

1157
00:58:24,743 --> 00:58:26,410
My job is to make my patients get better.

1158
00:58:26,435 --> 00:58:27,805
Do you know what can happen

1159
00:58:27,830 --> 00:58:29,831
in the hour or two I
would be wasting with you?

1160
00:58:29,856 --> 00:58:31,293
An hour or two matters!

1161
00:58:31,318 --> 00:58:32,451
They matter to me.

1162
00:58:32,486 --> 00:58:34,908
They should matter to you.
They matter to my patients.

1163
00:58:34,933 --> 00:58:37,969
If I leave and my patient dies,
it's not me who will suffer,

1164
00:58:37,994 --> 00:58:41,291
it is his mother, his
sisters, his friends, his wife,

1165
00:58:41,316 --> 00:58:43,150
and they will hate me.

1166
00:58:43,463 --> 00:58:45,405
With everything inside them,

1167
00:58:45,430 --> 00:58:48,098
they will hate me and you and everyone here

1168
00:58:48,127 --> 00:58:50,361
because they won't
understand why he is gone,

1169
00:58:50,396 --> 00:58:51,629
why people always leave,

1170
00:58:51,663 --> 00:58:54,766
Why everyone you give
a crap about walks away

1171
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:58,002
or is ripped from your world
without warning, without reason,

1172
00:58:58,037 --> 00:59:00,438
in convenience stores and plane crashes

1173
00:59:00,472 --> 00:59:02,840
and podunk hospitals with podunk doctors

1174
00:59:02,875 --> 00:59:05,043
who don't do what they are supposed to do,

1175
00:59:05,077 --> 00:59:07,045
which is save people!

1176
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:52,500
Hey.

1177
00:59:57,406 --> 00:59:59,507
It's good to see you.

1178
00:59:59,541 --> 01:00:01,109
Hey.

1179
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,954
Feels like I've been away forever,

1180
01:00:03,979 --> 01:00:05,279
but I see nothing's changed,

1181
01:00:05,304 --> 01:00:09,107
except they chopped down that old tree.

1182
01:00:10,470 --> 01:00:12,520
Yeah.

1183
01:00:16,351 --> 01:00:17,618
Okay, I'll...

1184
01:00:19,651 --> 01:00:21,563
I'll see you around.

1185
01:00:22,287 --> 01:00:25,422
I have a baggie full of
black-market oxy in my coat pocket,

1186
01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:27,891
and I'm trying to decide
whether or not to take it.

1187
01:00:38,303 --> 01:00:41,104
I've got the dead-Derek
thing completely managed.

1188
01:00:41,139 --> 01:00:43,607
I know people were worried.

1189
01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:45,576
Since he died, everybody's
been looking at me,

1190
01:00:45,610 --> 01:00:47,711
waiting for me to fall apart or freak out

1191
01:00:47,745 --> 01:00:51,715
or just become a mess.

1192
01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:54,718
Like some bomb everyone
thinks is supposed to go off.

1193
01:00:54,752 --> 01:00:58,755
My mother was calling
three, four times a day.

1194
01:00:58,790 --> 01:01:01,178
Addison was calling... Everyone.

1195
01:01:02,193 --> 01:01:03,680
It makes sense.

1196
01:01:04,295 --> 01:01:05,873
It's natural.

1197
01:01:07,728 --> 01:01:10,228
Every man I've ever loved...

1198
01:01:11,169 --> 01:01:13,604
Has died.

1199
01:01:13,638 --> 01:01:15,973
Including my baby.

1200
01:01:16,007 --> 01:01:18,499
Thank you, universe.

1201
01:01:19,210 --> 01:01:20,884
So, I should be, like...

1202
01:01:21,613 --> 01:01:24,982
Greek tragedy, turned to stone,
bat-crap crazy, but I'm good.

1203
01:01:25,016 --> 01:01:27,117
I got this. I am fine.

1204
01:01:27,151 --> 01:01:29,119
I'm telling you, I'm amazing.

1205
01:01:29,153 --> 01:01:31,154
I am saving lives left and right.

1206
01:01:31,189 --> 01:01:33,957
I am putting butts in the
seats in that O.R. gallery.

1207
01:01:33,992 --> 01:01:37,127
I mean, people are
fighting to hear me lecture.

1208
01:01:37,161 --> 01:01:40,097
I am entertaining... Joke, joke, joke!

1209
01:01:40,131 --> 01:01:42,165
I'm funny! I'm fun!

1210
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:45,602
I'm a party! I'm doing... I'm great!

1211
01:01:49,741 --> 01:01:52,309
I'm handling the dead-Derek
thing really well.

1212
01:01:52,343 --> 01:01:54,878
Okay.

1213
01:01:54,912 --> 01:01:58,115
Except today, I yelled at Richard...

1214
01:01:58,736 --> 01:02:01,322
Who was only trying to
invite me for coffee,

1215
01:02:03,087 --> 01:02:06,608
and then I went and scored
oxy from this junkie doctor.

1216
01:02:07,358 --> 01:02:09,083
But you haven't taken any?

1217
01:02:10,194 --> 01:02:11,582
Not yet.

1218
01:02:15,066 --> 01:02:16,566
But I might.

1219
01:02:17,169 --> 01:02:19,269
That's the thing.

1220
01:02:20,338 --> 01:02:22,480
I really actually might.

1221
01:02:25,677 --> 01:02:31,682
I have been sober for 1,321 days, Owen.

1222
01:02:32,083 --> 01:02:36,186
I was fine. It was managed.

1223
01:02:39,524 --> 01:02:40,991
But I might.

1224
01:02:43,249 --> 01:02:46,245
All this stuff you're... managing...

1225
01:02:48,499 --> 01:02:50,934
You're not supposed to be managing it.

1226
01:02:51,402 --> 01:02:54,686
You're supposed to be feeling
it... grief, loss, pain.

1227
01:02:54,711 --> 01:02:56,813
- It is normal.
- It's not normal.

1228
01:02:56,838 --> 01:02:57,873
It is.

1229
01:02:57,898 --> 01:02:59,175
It is normal.

1230
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,767
It's not normal to you
'cause you've never done it.

1231
01:03:00,792 --> 01:03:03,122
Y... instead of feeling it,
feeling the grief and the pain,

1232
01:03:03,147 --> 01:03:05,449
you've shoved it all down
and you do drugs instead.

1233
01:03:05,483 --> 01:03:08,085
Instead of moving through
the pain, you run from it.

1234
01:03:08,119 --> 01:03:09,753
You...

1235
01:03:16,327 --> 01:03:19,463
Instead of dealing with
being hurt and alone

1236
01:03:19,497 --> 01:03:22,132
and afraid that this horrible,
empty feeling is all there is,

1237
01:03:22,166 --> 01:03:23,700
I run from it.

1238
01:03:27,138 --> 01:03:30,907
I run off, and I sign up for
another tour of active duty.

1239
01:03:30,942 --> 01:03:33,310
We do these things.

1240
01:03:33,344 --> 01:03:36,279
We run off, and we... we medicate.

1241
01:03:36,314 --> 01:03:40,217
We do whatever it takes to cover
it up and dull the sensation,

1242
01:03:40,251 --> 01:03:41,736
but it's not normal.

1243
01:03:41,761 --> 01:03:44,955
We're supposed to feel.
We're supposed to...

1244
01:03:44,989 --> 01:03:46,089
Love...

1245
01:03:46,124 --> 01:03:48,325
And hate... And hurt...

1246
01:03:48,359 --> 01:03:52,140
And grieve and break and...

1247
01:03:52,557 --> 01:03:54,891
Be destroyed and...

1248
01:03:54,916 --> 01:03:56,984
Rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again.

1249
01:03:57,009 --> 01:03:58,134
That is human.

1250
01:03:58,159 --> 01:04:01,061
That is humanity. That's... that's...

1251
01:04:02,637 --> 01:04:05,163
That's being alive. That's the point.

1252
01:04:05,209 --> 01:04:08,564
That's the entire point.
Don't... don't avoid it.

1253
01:04:10,022 --> 01:04:11,164
Don't...

1254
01:04:12,526 --> 01:04:13,924
Extinguish it.

1255
01:04:22,809 --> 01:04:24,777
Derek died.

1256
01:04:28,910 --> 01:04:30,177
He died.

1257
01:04:33,101 --> 01:04:34,271
I don't want to feel it.

1258
01:04:34,305 --> 01:04:36,788
I I don't think I can.

1259
01:04:36,813 --> 01:04:38,214
I don't think I even want to...

1260
01:04:39,932 --> 01:04:41,487
I can't. I can't.

1261
01:04:41,512 --> 01:04:43,189
- I can't do this. I can't.
- You have to. If you don't...

1262
01:04:43,214 --> 01:04:45,782
- No, I can't. Shh, I can't do this!
- You ha... you have to.

1263
01:04:45,817 --> 01:04:48,785
If you don't, that bag of
oxy's not gonna be your last.

1264
01:05:25,356 --> 01:05:27,190
You're gonna be okay.

1265
01:05:27,225 --> 01:05:29,226
You're gonna survive this, okay?

1266
01:05:29,260 --> 01:05:31,561
Everybody does.

1267
01:05:37,235 --> 01:05:39,936
It's perfectly normal. It's boring, even.

1268
01:05:42,581 --> 01:05:45,917
It's so normal.

1269
01:05:55,562 --> 01:05:57,518
Okay, Zo-zo, here's your snack...

1270
01:05:57,543 --> 01:05:58,977
Cheese, bananas,

1271
01:05:59,002 --> 01:06:01,003
and a little... Damn it.

1272
01:06:01,028 --> 01:06:03,241
It doesn't matter if I'm hurting, does it?

1273
01:06:03,266 --> 01:06:05,768
It doesn't matter if I'm
alone. Where do I sign?

1274
01:06:05,793 --> 01:06:08,095
Ms. Grey, it's important
you fully understand,

1275
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:09,283
by signing these,

1276
01:06:09,308 --> 01:06:11,643
you sign away all rights to your daughter,

1277
01:06:11,668 --> 01:06:13,207
now and in the future.

1278
01:06:13,691 --> 01:06:15,501
And I'm all alone.

1279
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:18,609
Now I have to raise my daughter alone.

1280
01:06:20,462 --> 01:06:22,779
How am I expected to do that?

1281
01:06:24,849 --> 01:06:26,379
Mom...

1282
01:06:26,982 --> 01:06:28,817
I understand.

1283
01:06:28,842 --> 01:06:30,469
It's okay if you need more time.

1284
01:06:30,494 --> 01:06:32,274
More time? More time?

1285
01:06:32,299 --> 01:06:33,820
I needed more time with him,

1286
01:06:33,845 --> 01:06:36,246
but it just keeps going
forward faster and faster,

1287
01:06:36,271 --> 01:06:38,038
and there is no more time.

1288
01:06:38,063 --> 01:06:39,930
You can't go back. You can't press "pause."

1289
01:06:39,955 --> 01:06:41,766
The carousel never stops turning. It...

1290
01:06:44,549 --> 01:06:46,917
I don't need any more time.

1291
01:06:46,942 --> 01:06:48,281
Where do I sign?

1292
01:06:48,306 --> 01:06:50,374
Damn it.

1293
01:06:52,343 --> 01:06:56,505
Actually, you know, Zo, I think
maybe we'll take that, huh?

1294
01:06:56,530 --> 01:06:58,164
We'll put it in a baggie, and we'll...

1295
01:06:58,189 --> 01:06:59,689
Agh, agh, agh, agh!

1296
01:06:59,714 --> 01:07:01,448
Mommy!

1297
01:07:01,819 --> 01:07:04,506
It's okay, Zola. It's okay.

1298
01:07:04,531 --> 01:07:06,865
You're bleeding. There's blood!

1299
01:07:07,217 --> 01:07:09,702
Blood. It's just blood.

1300
01:07:10,167 --> 01:07:12,635
Mommy, should I call 911?

1301
01:07:12,660 --> 01:07:13,926
Not yet.

1302
01:07:13,971 --> 01:07:15,104
Wait.

1303
01:07:15,295 --> 01:07:17,111
- Yes. Call.
- Meredith...

1304
01:07:17,136 --> 01:07:19,871
Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid.

1305
01:07:23,734 --> 01:07:25,908
911... what's your emergency?

1306
01:07:25,933 --> 01:07:27,601
My mommy tried to kill herself.

1307
01:07:27,626 --> 01:07:29,117
My mommy needs help.

1308
01:07:45,344 --> 01:07:47,965
Are you the smart girl
who knew how to call 911?

1309
01:07:47,990 --> 01:07:50,217
You might've saved your mother's life.

1310
01:07:50,899 --> 01:07:53,601
Dr. Grey, we're just about ready to start.

1311
01:07:54,573 --> 01:07:56,650
My kids? Where are my kids?

1312
01:07:56,675 --> 01:07:58,137
Stop it!

1313
01:07:58,162 --> 01:08:00,192
She shouldn't be in here. No, wait.

1314
01:08:00,217 --> 01:08:01,684
Don't touch me!

1315
01:08:01,709 --> 01:08:02,875
Derek!

1316
01:08:02,900 --> 01:08:04,060
Derek!

1317
01:08:05,179 --> 01:08:06,779
Derek!

1318
01:08:07,022 --> 01:08:09,156
I don't want you to be alone.

1319
01:08:10,225 --> 01:08:14,028
If anything should happen
to me, I don't want it to...

1320
01:08:14,062 --> 01:08:16,208
Just be you.

1321
01:08:16,865 --> 01:08:20,141
Well, we would make pretty babies.

1322
01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:22,069
So, you're thinking about it, then?

1323
01:08:22,103 --> 01:08:24,204
Oh, I'm thinking about it.

1324
01:08:25,240 --> 01:08:26,628
Wait.

1325
01:08:32,164 --> 01:08:36,200
Dr. Grey? Dr. Grey?

1326
01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:38,267
Your husband is here.

1327
01:08:41,573 --> 01:08:43,407
Hey.

1328
01:08:45,235 --> 01:08:47,185
Apparently, I'm your emergency contact.

1329
01:08:51,116 --> 01:08:53,417
I had a baby.

1330
01:08:53,452 --> 01:08:54,822
I know.

1331
01:08:56,622 --> 01:08:58,189
Derek is dead.

1332
01:08:59,269 --> 01:09:01,270
I know.

1333
01:09:05,297 --> 01:09:07,169
Derek?

1334
01:09:12,090 --> 01:09:13,958
Derek?

1335
01:09:16,608 --> 01:09:18,391
If there's a crisis...

1336
01:09:19,178 --> 01:09:20,891
You don't freeze.

1337
01:09:21,480 --> 01:09:23,447
You move forward.

1338
01:09:24,746 --> 01:09:26,957
You get the rest of us to move forward.

1339
01:09:28,159 --> 01:09:30,494
Because you've seen worse.

1340
01:09:30,528 --> 01:09:33,030
You've survived worse.

1341
01:09:33,064 --> 01:09:35,077
It's okay.

1342
01:09:38,336 --> 01:09:39,670
You go.

1343
01:09:40,582 --> 01:09:43,922
And you know we'll survive, too.

1344
01:10:03,261 --> 01:10:05,162
Hey.

1345
01:10:05,196 --> 01:10:06,730
Hey.

1346
01:10:07,899 --> 01:10:09,566
Okay, sweetie.

1347
01:10:09,601 --> 01:10:11,101
Okay.

1348
01:10:11,136 --> 01:10:13,270
Hey, hey.

1349
01:10:13,304 --> 01:10:14,571
It's okay.

1350
01:10:14,606 --> 01:10:16,406
It's all right.

1351
01:10:16,441 --> 01:10:18,776
Shh.

1352
01:10:18,810 --> 01:10:21,745
It's okay.

1353
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:31,779
Baby's name is Ellis. Did you see her?

1354
01:10:31,804 --> 01:10:33,590
She's beautiful.

1355
01:10:33,625 --> 01:10:34,758
Bet she looks just like you.

1356
01:10:37,180 --> 01:10:39,248
I didn't think I could do it.

1357
01:10:39,564 --> 01:10:40,764
Part of me thought,

1358
01:10:40,799 --> 01:10:43,634
"what if I have this baby and just die?"

1359
01:10:44,726 --> 01:10:47,738
And then she arrived, and I saw her face,

1360
01:10:47,772 --> 01:10:49,873
and I saw him in her.

1361
01:10:52,777 --> 01:10:54,566
She's beautiful.

1362
01:11:03,861 --> 01:11:05,789
_

1363
01:11:12,363 --> 01:11:14,231
Happy Valentine's day.

1364
01:11:14,265 --> 01:11:16,266
Happy everybody's day!

1365
01:11:17,669 --> 01:11:21,505
Oh, my child is with
his dad in Disney World.

1366
01:11:21,539 --> 01:11:25,008
He's in the happiest place on earth.

1367
01:11:25,043 --> 01:11:27,477
I'm with you...

1368
01:11:27,512 --> 01:11:29,479
Naked, in this house.

1369
01:11:29,514 --> 01:11:31,682
That's a whole different
kind of happy place.

1370
01:11:31,716 --> 01:11:34,484
Now everybody's happy!

1371
01:11:35,683 --> 01:11:39,923
Well, then, this is a very good time...

1372
01:11:39,958 --> 01:11:41,592
To give you a present.

1373
01:11:41,626 --> 01:11:43,760
Ben!

1374
01:11:43,795 --> 01:11:45,762
Is this the plane tickets to Paris?

1375
01:11:45,797 --> 01:11:48,498
Oh, 'cause if this is the
plane tickets to Paris...

1376
01:11:50,501 --> 01:11:51,869
It's my living will.

1377
01:11:53,404 --> 01:11:55,706
It gives you full
permission to pull my plug

1378
01:11:55,740 --> 01:11:57,311
whenever you see fit.

1379
01:11:57,336 --> 01:12:00,981
No extraordinary measures, witnessed and...

1380
01:12:01,310 --> 01:12:02,646
Notarized.

1381
01:12:09,919 --> 01:12:11,021
Miranda?

1382
01:12:11,055 --> 01:12:13,023
So, um...

1383
01:12:13,057 --> 01:12:14,649
Before...

1384
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:17,732
You wanted to be kept alive.

1385
01:12:17,757 --> 01:12:21,528
Before you wanted extraordinary measures

1386
01:12:21,553 --> 01:12:24,555
because you had this stupid idea

1387
01:12:24,602 --> 01:12:27,473
that you were gonna be a miracle man

1388
01:12:27,498 --> 01:12:30,412
and wake up and come
back to me, but now you...

1389
01:12:30,977 --> 01:12:33,144
Signed the papers?

1390
01:12:33,578 --> 01:12:34,912
Well...

1391
01:12:34,946 --> 01:12:36,813
Yeah.

1392
01:12:36,848 --> 01:12:39,750
I mean, that's what you wanted.

1393
01:12:39,784 --> 01:12:41,852
We've been going 'round and 'round about it

1394
01:12:41,886 --> 01:12:44,154
for months, and, well, I
just got tired of arguing,

1395
01:12:44,188 --> 01:12:47,024
so I decided to go ahead and...

1396
01:12:47,058 --> 01:12:48,659
Sign the papers.

1397
01:12:48,693 --> 01:12:50,661
Miranda?

1398
01:12:50,695 --> 01:12:54,564
Well, this was the meanest
thing you've ever done.

1399
01:12:54,599 --> 01:12:55,599
What?

1400
01:12:55,633 --> 01:12:59,236
You no longer love me
enough to hope for a miracle?

1401
01:12:59,270 --> 01:13:00,837
Oh, are you kidding me?

1402
01:13:02,874 --> 01:13:05,242
From the beginning, you were shouting,

1403
01:13:05,276 --> 01:13:06,443
"unplug me! Unplug me!"

1404
01:13:06,477 --> 01:13:08,545
Yeah, but you weren't supposed to do it.

1405
01:13:08,579 --> 01:13:11,248
I mean, you were, but you
weren't supposed to want to.

1406
01:13:11,282 --> 01:13:12,382
- Mir...
- Now you want to?

1407
01:13:12,417 --> 01:13:15,519
Miranda, why are you being
so... So crazy about this?!

1408
01:13:15,553 --> 01:13:16,620
What's going on?

1409
01:13:16,654 --> 01:13:20,590
Hey, hey, what is going on?

1410
01:13:20,625 --> 01:13:22,426
I love you too much!

1411
01:13:22,460 --> 01:13:24,027
It's too much.

1412
01:13:26,064 --> 01:13:29,891
Okay, my first husband. Okay, if he left...

1413
01:13:30,668 --> 01:13:33,770
A piece of me always
knew that I would be okay,

1414
01:13:33,805 --> 01:13:37,908
and when he did leave, I was, but you...

1415
01:13:37,942 --> 01:13:42,194
Ever since Derek died...

1416
01:13:44,015 --> 01:13:46,466
I sit up in the middle of the night,

1417
01:13:46,491 --> 01:13:48,425
gasping for air, terrified.

1418
01:13:48,450 --> 01:13:50,296
I've been having these dreams

1419
01:13:50,321 --> 01:13:51,822
that something happened to you.

1420
01:13:51,856 --> 01:13:54,299
So, if something happened...

1421
01:13:54,859 --> 01:13:57,094
I love you too much.

1422
01:13:57,962 --> 01:14:02,232
Like, you are a piece of me.

1423
01:14:02,266 --> 01:14:03,924
I love you.

1424
01:14:04,268 --> 01:14:06,136
So...

1425
01:14:06,938 --> 01:14:09,639
I need a plan.

1426
01:14:09,674 --> 01:14:11,641
I need rules.

1427
01:14:11,676 --> 01:14:14,111
I need some order,

1428
01:14:14,145 --> 01:14:19,163
and I had just gotten used
to your dumb miracle-man idea,

1429
01:14:19,188 --> 01:14:21,573
and now you're telling me
you want me to pull the plug,

1430
01:14:21,598 --> 01:14:23,152
and I can't deal with that.

1431
01:14:23,177 --> 01:14:27,160
I... mm, just order and, uh, some rules

1432
01:14:27,185 --> 01:14:30,888
and a plan and some order
in the middle of this,

1433
01:14:30,913 --> 01:14:34,534
'cause if I have to think
about what could happen,

1434
01:14:34,690 --> 01:14:36,791
it's too much.

1435
01:14:36,816 --> 01:14:39,451
I promise... I promise...

1436
01:14:39,476 --> 01:14:41,510
That I will let you...

1437
01:14:41,535 --> 01:14:43,603
Die first.

1438
01:14:48,670 --> 01:14:49,730
That...

1439
01:14:50,799 --> 01:14:53,067
Is so wrong!

1440
01:14:54,990 --> 01:14:58,192
Hey, I love you too much, too.

1441
01:15:13,683 --> 01:15:15,584
Here, let's...

1442
01:15:15,609 --> 01:15:18,511
Not think about this anymore, all right?

1443
01:15:20,361 --> 01:15:22,128
We can't plan.

1444
01:15:22,342 --> 01:15:24,076
We don't know.

1445
01:15:24,266 --> 01:15:26,968
So let's ignore it and...

1446
01:15:28,604 --> 01:15:32,937
Just stay here in our bubble, all right?

1447
01:15:33,027 --> 01:15:35,184
Here, together.

1448
01:15:40,545 --> 01:15:43,480
In the happiest place on earth.

1449
01:15:43,505 --> 01:15:47,028
In the happiest place on earth.

1450
01:15:59,265 --> 01:16:01,462
Richard Webber!

1451
01:16:03,568 --> 01:16:04,800
Catherine?

1452
01:16:04,825 --> 01:16:06,957
I'm mad at you!

1453
01:16:07,111 --> 01:16:10,079
I'm doing something I swore I never would.

1454
01:16:10,165 --> 01:16:13,276
I'm asking a question when
I don't know the answer

1455
01:16:13,311 --> 01:16:15,028
- because you...
- What's going on?

1456
01:16:15,053 --> 01:16:16,246
Shh!

1457
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:19,716
Because you're worth me
standing here like a fool,

1458
01:16:19,750 --> 01:16:22,586
announcing how I feel...

1459
01:16:22,978 --> 01:16:24,955
In front of the entire hospital!

1460
01:16:28,626 --> 01:16:30,891
I love you, Richard Webber!

1461
01:16:32,129 --> 01:16:34,331
I love you.

1462
01:16:35,399 --> 01:16:40,321
And I would very much like
for you to be my husband.

1463
01:16:41,405 --> 01:16:45,075
That is, of course, if
you would like it, too.

1464
01:17:04,028 --> 01:17:05,562
Well, about damn time.

1465
01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:46,096
Come on, Zo,

1466
01:17:46,121 --> 01:17:49,090
let's get Bailey and your
little sister settled in.

1467
01:19:50,761 --> 01:19:51,995
Now, wait, hang on.

1468
01:19:52,029 --> 01:19:54,130
Alex hosted a Christmas party?

1469
01:19:54,165 --> 01:19:55,231
Mm.

1470
01:19:55,266 --> 01:19:57,233
Well, "hosted" is a bit
of an exaggeration, right?

1471
01:19:57,268 --> 01:19:58,802
Whatever. There was a tree.

1472
01:19:58,836 --> 01:20:01,571
Yeah, there was a sad, sad tree, God.

1473
01:20:01,605 --> 01:20:04,007
I have to believe there's a way.

1474
01:20:04,041 --> 01:20:06,443
There has to be a way
to step off the carousel,

1475
01:20:06,477 --> 01:20:08,945
to start again, to start fresh...

1476
01:20:45,182 --> 01:20:47,817
There has to be a way to
leave all my ghosts behind.

1477
01:20:58,696 --> 01:21:00,218
I'll see you around.

1478
01:21:01,665 --> 01:21:05,468
You're anything but ordinary, Meredith.

1479
01:21:08,939 --> 01:21:10,540
It's a choice.

1480
01:21:10,574 --> 01:21:12,842
It's a choice I'm making.

1481
01:21:12,877 --> 01:21:14,925
To move forward.

1482
01:21:15,846 --> 01:21:17,433
To move past this.

1483
01:21:18,259 --> 01:21:19,426
I can do that.

1484
01:21:19,750 --> 01:21:21,478
I can do that.

1485
01:21:22,353 --> 01:21:23,720
You ready for this?

1486
01:21:25,222 --> 01:21:27,157
I am.

1487
01:21:27,191 --> 01:21:28,725
10 blade.

1488
01:21:31,762 --> 01:21:33,763
All I have to do...

1489
01:21:33,798 --> 01:21:35,662
Is begin.

1490
01:21:36,029 --> 01:21:40,391
Sync and corrections by Albanda
www.Addic7ed.com