1 00:00:01,687 --> 00:00:03,249 When there's a poisonous snake 2 00:00:03,313 --> 00:00:05,415 in our path, we freeze 3 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,897 When we smell smoke, we run. 4 00:00:09,114 --> 00:00:13,067 When faced with danger, fear takes over, and we react, 5 00:00:13,259 --> 00:00:14,638 desperate to feel safe. 6 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:15,747 Jo! 7 00:00:15,889 --> 00:00:17,646 You left while I was in the shower. 8 00:00:17,853 --> 00:00:19,600 - What, are you avoiding me? - Yes. 9 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,247 Wait, not on purpose, no. 10 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,560 Sorry. Hi. I just... 11 00:00:22,646 --> 00:00:24,568 Bailey's back to being chief tomorrow, 12 00:00:24,653 --> 00:00:26,381 so I have one last shot at her full attention 13 00:00:26,466 --> 00:00:27,795 about a new grant for my fellowship, 14 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,834 and I just... I figured that you would want to sleep in. 15 00:00:29,919 --> 00:00:31,724 - Yeah, but I was in the shower. - Right. 16 00:00:31,856 --> 00:00:33,364 Jo, it's me. 17 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:35,271 How long are we gonna do this? 18 00:00:35,622 --> 00:00:37,381 Whatever happened with your birth mom, you can tell me. 19 00:00:37,466 --> 00:00:38,646 Do you know what the funding limits are 20 00:00:38,731 --> 00:00:40,708 on R90 or R15 grant? 21 00:00:40,854 --> 00:00:42,364 No. Jo... 22 00:00:42,450 --> 00:00:44,614 Okay, I got to figure that out before Bailey gets here. 23 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:45,700 I'm... sorry. 24 00:00:45,786 --> 00:00:48,373 It's biological... primal. 25 00:00:49,929 --> 00:00:52,149 But for someone who suffers from trauma, 26 00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:54,743 it's the everyday things... 27 00:00:55,135 --> 00:00:56,907 a song in a coffee shop, 28 00:00:57,063 --> 00:00:58,920 the smell of rubbing alcohol.. 29 00:01:00,068 --> 00:01:03,196 ...seemingly random, common things 30 00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:06,454 convincing your brain and body you're in danger... 31 00:01:07,814 --> 00:01:09,635 ...and there is no way out. 32 00:01:17,724 --> 00:01:19,455 Hi. What can I do for you? 33 00:01:22,227 --> 00:01:23,885 I'm Dr. Karev. 34 00:01:24,297 --> 00:01:25,986 Josephine. Jo. 35 00:01:26,072 --> 00:01:27,072 Um... 36 00:01:27,158 --> 00:01:28,791 Mom, I can't find my shoes! 37 00:01:28,877 --> 00:01:30,644 They're in the kitchen, and they smell! 38 00:01:30,729 --> 00:01:31,744 Who ate all the cereal? 39 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,283 Honey, there's more in the pantry. Y... 40 00:01:36,111 --> 00:01:39,119 Well, apparently, my kids forgot that they were old enough 41 00:01:39,205 --> 00:01:41,557 to feed and clothe themselves today. 42 00:01:41,677 --> 00:01:43,111 You have kids. 43 00:01:43,682 --> 00:01:47,268 Um, listen, if you're... if you're selling magazines or... 44 00:01:47,353 --> 00:01:49,270 or religion, we're good on both, so... 45 00:01:49,355 --> 00:01:50,424 But thank you so much. 46 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,328 No, no. E-Emerson Hospital. 47 00:01:52,892 --> 00:01:54,274 Oh, right, okay. 48 00:01:54,361 --> 00:01:55,853 Well, if you just go here, 49 00:01:55,939 --> 00:01:57,103 - and you take Willowbrook... - No, no, I-I was... 50 00:01:57,182 --> 00:01:59,662 - ...and then you're gonna... - I was born at Emerson Hospital, 51 00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:04,791 and soon after, I was left at the fire station on 47th Street. 52 00:02:04,948 --> 00:02:07,307 I think that you're the person who left me. 53 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,478 I think you're my mother. 54 00:02:14,642 --> 00:02:17,033 *GREY'S ANATOMY* Season 15 Episode 19 55 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,978 *GREY'S ANATOMY* Episode Title: "Silent All These Years" 56 00:02:23,423 --> 00:02:25,260 You have your chemistry report? 57 00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:27,020 It's a paper, Mom. 58 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,572 Yeah, as long as it's done, 59 00:02:28,658 --> 00:02:30,311 you can call it whatever you like. 60 00:02:30,396 --> 00:02:33,072 Hey, um, I'm thinking about Cal's Burgers tonight. 61 00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:34,526 Celebrate your last day of sabbatical. 62 00:02:34,611 --> 00:02:35,791 Can't. 63 00:02:35,876 --> 00:02:37,682 I have a thing tonight. 64 00:02:37,816 --> 00:02:39,033 With who? 65 00:02:39,477 --> 00:02:41,094 With Kelly. 66 00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,837 - There's a Kelly? - Define "thing." 67 00:02:42,923 --> 00:02:45,040 We're just talking, is all. 68 00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:47,945 So, you can't come have burgers with us, 69 00:02:48,148 --> 00:02:50,478 because you're talking to Kelly. 70 00:02:50,776 --> 00:02:52,884 - At a thing. - Here's fine. 71 00:02:54,558 --> 00:02:56,501 We're nowhere near the school. What? 72 00:02:56,623 --> 00:02:57,872 It's fine. 73 00:02:59,626 --> 00:03:01,509 - Bye, love you! - Good luck with your re... 74 00:03:01,594 --> 00:03:03,144 report! 75 00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,552 It's a paper. 76 00:03:07,638 --> 00:03:09,005 I know. 77 00:03:11,735 --> 00:03:13,823 - Did he just put his arm around... - He put his hand... 78 00:03:13,908 --> 00:03:15,556 Dr. Pannell to Plastics. 79 00:03:15,665 --> 00:03:17,618 Dr. Pannell to Plastics. 80 00:03:23,983 --> 00:03:25,892 Oh, my God! Sorry. Sorry. 81 00:03:27,482 --> 00:03:29,504 Hey, you... you have a... you have, um, a... 82 00:03:29,589 --> 00:03:31,158 A-A crap sense of direction 83 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:32,907 and can't find my way to the ER. 84 00:03:33,157 --> 00:03:34,674 It's one floor down, and then, if... 85 00:03:36,863 --> 00:03:38,735 You know, why don't I take you? 86 00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:42,290 You ever have just a garbage sort of day? 87 00:03:43,703 --> 00:03:45,392 More times than I can count. 88 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,110 This way. 89 00:03:51,044 --> 00:03:52,540 You'll need stitches. 90 00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:55,115 I'll have a nurse bring you a blanket. 91 00:03:55,707 --> 00:03:57,436 I feel so stupid. 92 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,954 I was putting away dishes and just... 93 00:04:01,071 --> 00:04:03,071 smacked myself in the face with the cabinet. 94 00:04:03,157 --> 00:04:04,574 Such an idiot. 95 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:05,924 That cut looks pretty deep, 96 00:04:06,009 --> 00:04:08,493 so Dr. Qadri will have to numb it before we can clean it. 97 00:04:08,684 --> 00:04:10,220 When did this happen? 98 00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,743 Last night. 99 00:04:12,177 --> 00:04:14,446 I thought it would be fine, but it just keeps bleeding. 100 00:04:14,532 --> 00:04:16,360 Dr. Qadri and I can help with that. 101 00:04:16,446 --> 00:04:18,526 I'm just gonna put a little Betadine around the area, 102 00:04:18,972 --> 00:04:20,321 and you're just gonna feel a little stick and a burn. 103 00:04:20,406 --> 00:04:21,729 Are you hurting anywhere else? 104 00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:23,667 Hey. Dr. Bailey's been looking for you... 105 00:04:23,752 --> 00:04:25,815 - something about a grant deadline? - Oh, okay. 106 00:04:25,901 --> 00:04:27,595 Um, I'm gonna be right... 107 00:04:36,812 --> 00:04:39,675 My patient here, Abby, she... 108 00:04:39,761 --> 00:04:42,386 hit her face on a cabinet. 109 00:04:42,742 --> 00:04:44,127 So if you could give us some room, please, 110 00:04:44,212 --> 00:04:45,846 so I can suture her facial lac? 111 00:04:45,932 --> 00:04:48,057 And tell Dr. Bailey that I will be a while. 112 00:04:48,561 --> 00:04:49,842 Thank you. 113 00:04:54,751 --> 00:04:56,345 Hey, why don't you sit up, okay? 114 00:04:56,886 --> 00:04:58,112 We'll sit you up. Okay. 115 00:05:00,254 --> 00:05:01,403 Is your belly hurting? 116 00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:03,839 No, it's just the cheek. 117 00:05:04,225 --> 00:05:06,948 You can fix it now, right? So I can go. 118 00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:11,143 Dr. Qadri, um, can you go get me some 4-0 MONOCRYL, 119 00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,409 and can we please close those? 120 00:05:13,495 --> 00:05:14,542 Thank you. 121 00:05:21,768 --> 00:05:24,623 Abby, it's just you and me. 122 00:05:25,738 --> 00:05:27,151 You're hurt. 123 00:05:27,385 --> 00:05:29,019 I am here to help. 124 00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:37,446 - Okay. - Okay. 125 00:05:53,299 --> 00:05:54,933 Okay. Okay. 126 00:06:03,289 --> 00:06:04,714 I got you, Abby. 127 00:06:04,918 --> 00:06:07,050 I'm not going anywhere. 128 00:06:16,255 --> 00:06:17,839 Look, I don't know what you're after, 129 00:06:17,924 --> 00:06:18,873 but you can't be here. 130 00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:20,182 I'm not after anything. 131 00:06:20,268 --> 00:06:21,831 I just want to talk. 132 00:06:22,441 --> 00:06:24,158 You cannot be here. 133 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,133 Chip! 134 00:06:26,366 --> 00:06:28,386 Hey, Chip. Come here. 135 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,717 Hey, buddy. 136 00:06:29,802 --> 00:06:32,287 I'll, uh, put him out back and drop the kids at school. 137 00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,255 Is everything okay? 138 00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:35,691 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just saying 139 00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:38,459 that we're already familiar with the Book of Mormon, so... 140 00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:40,526 Ah, saw the original cast. Loved it. 141 00:06:40,824 --> 00:06:43,909 Not a big fan of the book, though, so... we're all set. 142 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:57,909 There's a diner... a few miles up. 143 00:06:57,995 --> 00:06:59,378 Weird green roof? 144 00:06:59,464 --> 00:07:00,985 Ira's? 145 00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:03,503 One conversation. 146 00:07:03,935 --> 00:07:06,053 And you will never hear from me again. 147 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,399 Just one. 148 00:07:30,485 --> 00:07:31,925 Oh, right this way. 149 00:07:53,669 --> 00:07:55,831 Can I get you a warm-up? 150 00:08:10,105 --> 00:08:11,902 The coffee here sucks. 151 00:08:11,988 --> 00:08:13,355 I've noticed. 152 00:08:14,699 --> 00:08:16,641 I'm late for work. Um... 153 00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:21,821 I work in the mayor's office. 154 00:08:21,906 --> 00:08:24,424 Try to create jobs for under-served communities. 155 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,288 I'm sorry. You knocked on my door. 156 00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:30,695 - I don't... - You have a house... 157 00:08:30,804 --> 00:08:32,522 a really beautiful house. 158 00:08:32,608 --> 00:08:33,647 Thank you...? 159 00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:36,866 And kids and a husband and a dog 160 00:08:36,952 --> 00:08:38,632 and crown frickin' moldings. 161 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,989 Do you need money? If this is about money... 162 00:08:40,074 --> 00:08:41,945 I don't need your damn money. 163 00:08:45,911 --> 00:08:47,391 Thank you. 164 00:08:48,157 --> 00:08:49,552 Look, I'm not quite sure 165 00:08:49,645 --> 00:08:50,834 - what you expected... - In my head, 166 00:08:50,919 --> 00:08:53,466 you worked at a diner half as nice as this. 167 00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:55,880 And you didn't graduate high school, 168 00:08:55,966 --> 00:08:57,606 or maybe you did but a year or two late 169 00:08:57,692 --> 00:08:59,789 'cause they don't let pregnant girls finish high school. 170 00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:02,528 And you scraped by somehow on... 171 00:09:02,613 --> 00:09:04,544 hard work and the kindness of strangers, 172 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,832 but you had no one. 173 00:09:05,917 --> 00:09:07,364 You had nothing. 174 00:09:07,450 --> 00:09:09,708 That would make it okay that I left you? 175 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,920 I wanted you to have a better life than I could give you... 176 00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:17,298 Now, that part I heard in my head. 177 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,868 I think it came 178 00:09:18,954 --> 00:09:21,118 - from a made-for-TV movie. - No, I-I-I realized it 179 00:09:21,204 --> 00:09:23,879 the minute it came out of my mouth, yes, um... 180 00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,249 But it's true. 181 00:09:28,890 --> 00:09:30,853 I really thought that you'd be better off... 182 00:09:30,939 --> 00:09:32,063 What are their names? 183 00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:33,954 - I'm sorry? - Your kids. 184 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,337 My brother and sister eating cereal in your perfect kitchen. 185 00:09:37,423 --> 00:09:38,728 What are their names? 186 00:09:38,814 --> 00:09:41,346 Alexandra is a senior in high school, 187 00:09:41,431 --> 00:09:44,134 and, uh, Josh is in 10th. 188 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:49,780 And your husband, the, what, the... accountant? 189 00:09:49,939 --> 00:09:51,251 Lawyer. 190 00:09:51,677 --> 00:09:53,203 Is he my father? 191 00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:54,881 No. 192 00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:57,396 No, he is nothing like... no. 193 00:09:57,481 --> 00:09:59,454 No, I met my husband in grad school. 194 00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:00,866 Um... 195 00:10:00,951 --> 00:10:02,041 His name is Daniel. 196 00:10:02,127 --> 00:10:03,283 Daniel. 197 00:10:04,274 --> 00:10:06,001 That's nice. 198 00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:08,048 That's really nice. 199 00:10:08,165 --> 00:10:10,642 You know, I-I... I appreciate a girl 200 00:10:10,728 --> 00:10:11,736 with fire in her belly, but... 201 00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:13,999 I didn't have a better life. 202 00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:16,898 I wasn't better off. 203 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,978 No one found me adoring parents 204 00:10:20,064 --> 00:10:22,728 who were dying for a newborn of their own to love. 205 00:10:22,814 --> 00:10:24,907 I lived in foster homes so bad, 206 00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:27,399 it was better to live in my car. 207 00:10:27,579 --> 00:10:30,001 And when a man finally told me that he loved me, 208 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,750 I believed him, 209 00:10:32,928 --> 00:10:36,842 even when he beat the crap out of me so bad I couldn't see. 210 00:10:37,665 --> 00:10:40,006 So whatever life you had, 211 00:10:40,243 --> 00:10:43,170 tell me it wasn't better than mine. 212 00:10:49,196 --> 00:10:50,514 I should go. 213 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,835 At least you're consistent. 214 00:10:59,196 --> 00:11:01,368 Did you honestly come here to punish me? 215 00:11:01,454 --> 00:11:02,345 Consider it done. 216 00:11:02,431 --> 00:11:04,455 I came because I don't know anything about where I'm from, 217 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,431 and I want to know. 218 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,482 Um... 219 00:11:19,134 --> 00:11:20,943 My, um... 220 00:11:22,298 --> 00:11:23,845 father's side is pure Irish. 221 00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:26,696 My... My... My mother is Russian Jew and Italian. 222 00:11:26,782 --> 00:11:28,587 I got all that from spitting in a tube. 223 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,337 My mother's parents... 224 00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:32,110 died when she was young... 225 00:11:32,196 --> 00:11:33,696 heart disease and cancer. 226 00:11:33,782 --> 00:11:35,360 So I'm afraid that's in the mix. 227 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:38,829 Uh, there's no history of mental illness that I'm aware... 228 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,751 - That's not what I'm asking. - Then what do you want to know? 229 00:11:41,837 --> 00:11:43,946 Something I can't get from spitting in a tube! 230 00:11:45,431 --> 00:11:46,705 Ah. 231 00:11:47,032 --> 00:11:50,274 I, um... I grew up on a farm in Kansas. 232 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,728 My childhood is a blur of chickens 233 00:11:52,814 --> 00:11:54,774 and singing songs out in the field 234 00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:56,111 when I should've been helping my mother. 235 00:11:56,196 --> 00:11:58,626 I was spelling bee champion for four years in a row. 236 00:11:58,712 --> 00:12:00,860 I love the smell of rosemary. I'm terrible at math. 237 00:12:00,946 --> 00:12:02,338 Does that help? Does that help you at all? 238 00:12:02,423 --> 00:12:04,422 - Do you know who you are now? - Forget it. 239 00:12:04,688 --> 00:12:07,392 Just tell me who my father is, and I will try and find him. 240 00:12:07,485 --> 00:12:08,579 You can't. 241 00:12:09,407 --> 00:12:10,618 He's dead. 242 00:12:10,704 --> 00:12:11,930 Geez, lady. 243 00:12:14,439 --> 00:12:16,790 You don't want to, I don't know, soften it a little? 244 00:12:16,876 --> 00:12:19,454 Well, I'm sorry, but that son of a bitch who hurt me 245 00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:22,274 more than any other human being ever has... 246 00:12:22,495 --> 00:12:25,012 died in a motorcycle accident 10 years ago. 247 00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:26,344 Not the way that I would've hoped. 248 00:12:26,429 --> 00:12:29,157 I would've preferred that he had been eaten by fire ants 249 00:12:29,243 --> 00:12:30,525 or pulled apart limb from limb, but... 250 00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:31,985 Wow. 251 00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:34,782 You're just a monster, huh? 252 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,267 - Please sit down. - Abandoning me wasn't enough, 253 00:12:39,376 --> 00:12:41,283 you just have to spread the pain around a little bit? 254 00:12:41,368 --> 00:12:42,044 Sit down. 255 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,697 That's my father that you're talking about. 256 00:12:43,782 --> 00:12:46,071 - No, it's not. He hurt me... - I'm so sorry 257 00:12:46,157 --> 00:12:48,392 that your childhood sweetheart didn't pan out. 258 00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:50,274 - So sorry. - He hurt me. 259 00:12:55,722 --> 00:12:58,391 Please sit down, okay? 260 00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:01,479 Please sit down. 261 00:13:13,266 --> 00:13:14,867 He was a TA... 262 00:13:17,944 --> 00:13:21,045 ...when I was a freshman in undergrad. 263 00:13:21,164 --> 00:13:24,154 He chased after me for weeks for a date. 264 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,474 He, um, sent me flowers and proclamations 265 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,065 until, finally, I said yes. 266 00:13:30,284 --> 00:13:33,669 I said... I said yes to that date. 267 00:13:33,754 --> 00:13:37,006 I said... yes to going... 268 00:13:37,091 --> 00:13:39,608 to Braden's Point to watch the sunset. 269 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,277 And... 270 00:13:45,515 --> 00:13:49,133 Then he started kissing me and touching me. 271 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:50,436 And I said no. 272 00:13:50,521 --> 00:13:52,171 And I continued to say no. 273 00:13:52,256 --> 00:13:53,539 And I fought him. 274 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,840 I fought as hard as I could, 275 00:13:54,925 --> 00:13:57,042 but he would not take no for an answer. 276 00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:58,777 So... 277 00:13:58,862 --> 00:14:01,513 nine months later, I had a baby. 278 00:14:01,598 --> 00:14:04,029 I had you, and then... 279 00:14:04,735 --> 00:14:06,819 five days later, I didn't. 280 00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:27,605 Qadri, let's get her 281 00:14:27,690 --> 00:14:29,401 IM Toradol for the pain 282 00:14:29,487 --> 00:14:31,042 and keep her NPO for now. 283 00:14:31,128 --> 00:14:32,824 Is there someone that we can call? 284 00:14:32,909 --> 00:14:35,761 Family member or a friend? 285 00:14:35,847 --> 00:14:38,631 My husband's in Portland on a business trip. 286 00:14:38,717 --> 00:14:41,293 I don't want to... bother him. 287 00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:44,535 It's okay. I called her here to help. 288 00:14:44,621 --> 00:14:45,875 - Hi. - Hi. 289 00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:47,172 Why do I need another doctor? 290 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,595 Can't I just keep you two? 291 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,211 It's Abby, right? Hi. 292 00:14:50,297 --> 00:14:53,078 Dr. Karev and Dr. Qadri will still be your doctors, 293 00:14:53,163 --> 00:14:54,985 but would it be okay if I helped? 294 00:14:55,257 --> 00:14:58,001 May I do an ultrasound just to check for internal injuries? 295 00:14:58,087 --> 00:14:59,870 - Okay. Great. - All right, here we go. 296 00:15:00,002 --> 00:15:01,586 Let's lie you back. 297 00:15:01,672 --> 00:15:02,736 I got you. 298 00:15:02,822 --> 00:15:03,855 That's it, I got you. 299 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:05,376 Okay, you're almost there. 300 00:15:05,461 --> 00:15:06,462 - Okay. - All right. 301 00:15:06,548 --> 00:15:07,559 Okay. 302 00:15:07,644 --> 00:15:09,678 Just gonna open your robe. 303 00:15:15,604 --> 00:15:17,355 Now a little gel. 304 00:15:21,424 --> 00:15:23,634 All right, you'll feel just a little pressure. 305 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,071 There we go. Good job. 306 00:15:29,838 --> 00:15:32,822 All right, Abby, you do have a tear in your diaphragm, 307 00:15:32,907 --> 00:15:35,618 and it's caused your abdominal organs 308 00:15:35,704 --> 00:15:37,093 to move up into your chest. 309 00:15:37,178 --> 00:15:39,129 You're gonna need a surgery. 310 00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:40,262 Fine. 311 00:15:40,347 --> 00:15:42,666 Whatever you need to do so I can go home. 312 00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:45,212 All right, Dr. Karev, can I talk to you outside for a minute? 313 00:15:45,298 --> 00:15:48,157 - No, no, can you stay? - I'll just be right outside. 314 00:15:48,243 --> 00:15:49,212 I won't be more than 315 00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:50,703 - a couple minutes... - Y-You can't... You can't leave, please? 316 00:15:50,788 --> 00:15:52,782 Just do the surgery, and then I can go home, 317 00:15:52,890 --> 00:15:54,973 - and then it'll be over. - All right. 318 00:15:55,059 --> 00:15:57,146 We'll let them know to prep the OR. 319 00:15:59,579 --> 00:16:01,141 Qadri, come with me. Thanks. 320 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,663 Dr. Yates to Pediatrics. 321 00:16:02,748 --> 00:16:04,915 Dr. Yates to Pediatrics. 322 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,868 Book an OR, but do not let the nurses or anyone else 323 00:16:08,988 --> 00:16:10,657 do an antibiotic prep. 324 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,142 So we're not operating on her? 325 00:16:12,228 --> 00:16:13,640 Abby's wounds are consistent 326 00:16:13,726 --> 00:16:15,009 with someone who's been sexually assaulted, 327 00:16:15,094 --> 00:16:16,196 and if that's true, 328 00:16:16,282 --> 00:16:19,095 when the nurses prep her with an antibiotic solution, 329 00:16:19,340 --> 00:16:21,086 evidence will be erased. 330 00:16:21,362 --> 00:16:22,481 So we wait. 331 00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,618 We wait and give Abby the chance to talk 332 00:16:24,704 --> 00:16:27,121 without taking more of the agency than she's already lost. 333 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:29,409 Go book the OR and come straight back. 334 00:16:35,281 --> 00:16:37,215 Okay. 335 00:16:39,151 --> 00:16:42,798 Hey. Are you sure there isn't someone we can call? 336 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,655 Can we ask you how you got hurt? 337 00:16:48,112 --> 00:16:49,729 Does it matter? 338 00:16:49,852 --> 00:16:51,170 You said you can fix it, right? 339 00:16:51,263 --> 00:16:52,380 Abby, I want you to know 340 00:16:52,465 --> 00:16:54,282 that you don't have to tell us anything. 341 00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:56,951 We can bring a counselor down for you to talk to. 342 00:16:57,036 --> 00:16:59,235 No. No more doctors. 343 00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,856 I have enough doctors, and I don't need a shrink. 344 00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:05,517 I just... need my stomach to stop hurting is all. 345 00:17:05,603 --> 00:17:06,870 Okay. 346 00:17:08,072 --> 00:17:10,056 How did you get that? 347 00:17:10,312 --> 00:17:12,996 My neighbor's kids like to play street hockey, 348 00:17:13,082 --> 00:17:14,258 and I'm crap at it. 349 00:17:14,344 --> 00:17:16,650 - I don't think that's true. - Dr. Karev. 350 00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:21,308 You keep looking at each other, but I'm right here, 351 00:17:21,394 --> 00:17:24,353 so one of you say whatever the hell it is 352 00:17:24,439 --> 00:17:25,813 you're trying so hard not to say. 353 00:17:25,898 --> 00:17:27,229 - Abby... - I'm worried your husband hurt you, 354 00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:28,316 and from the marks on your legs, 355 00:17:28,401 --> 00:17:29,993 possibly sexually assaulted you. 356 00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:31,496 Dr. Karev, hallway. Now. 357 00:17:31,582 --> 00:17:34,433 Jack would never. He's never raised his voice. 358 00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:36,134 - He's calm. - Then someone else did... 359 00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:38,426 Isn't the OR ready by now? 360 00:17:38,511 --> 00:17:39,594 'Cause this hurts like a... 361 00:17:39,679 --> 00:17:41,062 Abby, if we take you to the OR, 362 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,480 we have to make you sterile, 363 00:17:42,565 --> 00:17:44,198 so everything that happened to you, all the evidence, 364 00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:45,766 it all goes away. 365 00:17:45,851 --> 00:17:47,462 You can still report it. 366 00:17:47,547 --> 00:17:50,595 I'm not reporting anything. There's nothing to report. 367 00:17:50,681 --> 00:17:53,240 That is your choice. It is all your choice. 368 00:17:53,325 --> 00:17:55,509 But if something happened... if it did... 369 00:17:55,594 --> 00:17:57,945 we could gather the evidence and seal it away 370 00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,375 until you are ready to do something about it. 371 00:18:03,091 --> 00:18:06,032 We all know if I do that kit... 372 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,802 it ends up in the back of some police station, 373 00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:11,267 ignored for years, 374 00:18:11,477 --> 00:18:14,395 while I sit there wondering when the bomb will go off, 375 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,540 waiting to see if a jury of my peers will believe... 376 00:18:19,861 --> 00:18:21,401 ...believe a woman 377 00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:24,441 who wore a skirt a few inches too short, 378 00:18:24,946 --> 00:18:27,875 who had a few cocktails too many at a bar last night 379 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,564 after having a fight 380 00:18:30,006 --> 00:18:33,759 about laundry with her husband. 381 00:18:35,301 --> 00:18:38,619 And you know the tequila I drank will make it my fault, 382 00:18:38,704 --> 00:18:41,226 and whoever did this to me, whatever he drank... 383 00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:43,324 that'll be his excuse! 384 00:18:49,031 --> 00:18:53,117 Is your kit gonna convince them I wasn't flirting at the bar? 385 00:18:53,318 --> 00:18:57,137 If I give them my story and my underwear, 386 00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:00,441 will it prove to them... or to my husband... 387 00:19:00,526 --> 00:19:03,310 that I didn't cheat on him and make up some story 388 00:19:03,395 --> 00:19:05,312 just to save my own ass? 389 00:19:05,397 --> 00:19:07,314 Okay... 390 00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:09,250 Will your kit do that?! 391 00:19:10,669 --> 00:19:13,356 O... All... All right, deep breath. 392 00:19:13,442 --> 00:19:15,159 That's it. 393 00:19:15,374 --> 00:19:17,536 Slow deep breath. 394 00:19:21,205 --> 00:19:23,689 My ex-husband, he hurt me. 395 00:19:23,775 --> 00:19:26,231 Not in the way that you were hurt, but he hit me... 396 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,231 he hurt me, for years. 397 00:19:28,354 --> 00:19:31,395 And I was so, so terrified. 398 00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:34,051 And so convinced that no one would believe me, 399 00:19:34,193 --> 00:19:36,660 and I was so, so alone... 400 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,446 I never had the chance or the choice 401 00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:41,348 to hold him responsible. 402 00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:42,504 I can't imagine 403 00:19:42,589 --> 00:19:43,884 how you are feeling right now. 404 00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:45,295 I can't. 405 00:19:45,699 --> 00:19:49,385 But, one day, you might feel differently. 406 00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:50,857 You might want justice, 407 00:19:50,943 --> 00:19:55,576 and I want you to have everything you need to do that. 408 00:20:04,339 --> 00:20:07,808 My husband... he can never know. 409 00:20:07,893 --> 00:20:09,394 He won't have to. 410 00:20:15,303 --> 00:20:17,087 Do it. 411 00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:19,490 Just do the damn kit. 412 00:20:19,576 --> 00:20:20,826 Okay. Okay. 413 00:20:22,274 --> 00:20:23,357 That's it. There you go. 414 00:20:23,442 --> 00:20:24,391 There you go. 415 00:20:24,476 --> 00:20:27,661 ♪ Pull me ♪ 416 00:20:30,904 --> 00:20:33,367 ♪ Under ♪ 417 00:20:33,452 --> 00:20:34,769 Are you ready? 418 00:20:36,355 --> 00:20:37,838 You have to say it. 419 00:20:37,923 --> 00:20:39,240 - It's the law. - ♪ Feels like ♪ 420 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,442 You say yes, we go to the next step. 421 00:20:41,527 --> 00:20:44,213 You say no at any time, we stop. 422 00:20:44,298 --> 00:20:45,846 ♪ Thunder ♪ 423 00:20:45,931 --> 00:20:47,281 - Okay. - Okay. 424 00:20:50,169 --> 00:20:50,851 Yes. 425 00:20:50,936 --> 00:20:53,287 ♪ Here, there ♪ 426 00:20:54,874 --> 00:20:57,291 ♪ Everywhere ♪ 427 00:20:57,376 --> 00:20:59,293 - ♪ Ghosts hide ♪ - Are you ready? 428 00:20:59,378 --> 00:21:00,709 Yes. 429 00:21:01,271 --> 00:21:03,097 ♪ In my head ♪ 430 00:21:04,283 --> 00:21:08,102 ♪ We fall ♪ 431 00:21:08,187 --> 00:21:09,537 ♪ Up above ♪ 432 00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:12,973 ♪ So long ♪ 433 00:21:13,058 --> 00:21:16,067 ♪ As I ♪ 434 00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:19,446 ♪ Don't sleep ♪ 435 00:21:22,735 --> 00:21:24,333 ♪ Somebody ♪ 436 00:21:24,419 --> 00:21:26,369 Are you ready? 437 00:21:26,455 --> 00:21:27,888 Yes. 438 00:21:30,368 --> 00:21:33,460 ♪ Save me ♪ 439 00:21:36,648 --> 00:21:40,767 ♪ It doesn't matter ♪ 440 00:21:40,853 --> 00:21:42,469 Are you ready? 441 00:21:42,554 --> 00:21:47,074 - ♪ What the craving is ♪ - Yes. 442 00:21:49,995 --> 00:21:54,014 ♪ Here, there ♪ 443 00:21:54,148 --> 00:21:56,350 ♪ Everywhere ♪ 444 00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:58,796 ♪ Ghosts hide ♪ 445 00:21:58,906 --> 00:22:01,021 Are you ready? 446 00:22:01,106 --> 00:22:03,324 - Yes. - ♪ In my head ♪ 447 00:22:03,492 --> 00:22:05,691 - Yes. - ♪ We fall ♪ 448 00:22:05,777 --> 00:22:07,027 Yes. 449 00:22:07,166 --> 00:22:08,582 ♪ Up above ♪ 450 00:22:08,846 --> 00:22:13,499 ♪ Don't leave me ♪ 451 00:22:13,585 --> 00:22:17,966 - ♪ Alone ♪ - Abby, we're done. 452 00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:21,342 ♪ Somebody ♪ 453 00:22:21,427 --> 00:22:23,110 I'm here, okay. 454 00:22:23,195 --> 00:22:24,378 I'm right here. 455 00:22:24,463 --> 00:22:25,846 You're okay. 456 00:22:25,931 --> 00:22:27,448 Abby, you're okay. 457 00:22:27,533 --> 00:22:30,963 ♪ Save me ♪ 458 00:22:35,632 --> 00:22:37,409 You never told anyone. 459 00:22:39,585 --> 00:22:41,169 The police, your parents... 460 00:22:41,254 --> 00:22:44,882 I convinced the few people who noticed 461 00:22:44,968 --> 00:22:46,507 that it was just the freshman 15, 462 00:22:46,593 --> 00:22:50,484 and I... was able to dodge Christmas break 463 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:55,090 by lying about... finals and work studies. 464 00:22:55,176 --> 00:22:56,859 You didn't tell anyone you were pregnant? 465 00:22:56,945 --> 00:22:58,311 No, no. 466 00:22:59,705 --> 00:23:00,835 I mean, it... 467 00:23:00,945 --> 00:23:04,398 it wasn't until years after it happened that... 468 00:23:04,515 --> 00:23:05,660 After I happened. 469 00:23:05,746 --> 00:23:07,272 After the rape happened. 470 00:23:09,382 --> 00:23:10,835 After I was raped. 471 00:23:12,652 --> 00:23:14,802 I eventually found my way to therapy, 472 00:23:14,887 --> 00:23:16,170 and I did all the work, 473 00:23:16,255 --> 00:23:18,373 and I wrote in journals, 474 00:23:18,458 --> 00:23:20,640 and I learned all the PTSD triggers. 475 00:23:20,726 --> 00:23:22,484 I-I actually had to work through 476 00:23:22,570 --> 00:23:23,883 calling it "rape" to begin with. 477 00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:26,274 Because I did say yes to that date, 478 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:29,576 and I did say yes to getting in that car, and... 479 00:23:29,963 --> 00:23:32,827 Someone somewhere along the way... 480 00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:33,890 a man, most likely... 481 00:23:33,976 --> 00:23:35,875 decided they wanted to qualify this word, "rape." 482 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,585 You know, date rape, a-acquaintance rape. 483 00:23:38,671 --> 00:23:41,499 Somehow, it... it... it... it's... it's not as real 484 00:23:41,585 --> 00:23:43,077 unless it happens to a woman 485 00:23:43,163 --> 00:23:46,768 who's running through the park at night or... 486 00:23:47,046 --> 00:23:50,438 or walking down a dark alley. 487 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,374 As somehow, because I knew him, 488 00:23:53,476 --> 00:23:55,381 what he took from me didn't matter. 489 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:56,628 But it did matter. 490 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:59,678 I found a way to hear that. 491 00:23:59,764 --> 00:24:01,850 I found a way to believe that. 492 00:24:02,719 --> 00:24:04,342 And I... 493 00:24:06,005 --> 00:24:07,843 I found a way to move forward. 494 00:24:08,207 --> 00:24:09,890 You got therapy. 495 00:24:11,353 --> 00:24:12,436 Yeah. 496 00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:14,279 You moved forward. 497 00:24:16,382 --> 00:24:18,049 Mm-hmm. 498 00:24:19,185 --> 00:24:21,653 And you didn't once try and find me? 499 00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,663 I was petrified. 500 00:24:30,365 --> 00:24:34,450 I was petrified every single moment of my pregnancy. 501 00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:37,585 I mean, it was bad enough that I had to see his face 502 00:24:37,670 --> 00:24:39,454 every day in class. 503 00:24:39,592 --> 00:24:41,595 I was so terrified... 504 00:24:42,499 --> 00:24:47,043 imagining that you'd be a boy 505 00:24:47,879 --> 00:24:51,804 and that you'd have his face and his voice. 506 00:24:51,913 --> 00:24:55,770 And every day, every kick, every movement, 507 00:24:55,855 --> 00:24:58,605 it just reminded me where you came from. 508 00:25:01,093 --> 00:25:04,812 But, you know, movies and books and... and magazines, 509 00:25:04,897 --> 00:25:07,585 they just kept talking about this... 510 00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:13,794 love that you feel the minute your baby is born. 511 00:25:14,106 --> 00:25:15,656 How instantaneous it is 512 00:25:15,741 --> 00:25:19,038 and how, um, your heart just cracks wide open, and... 513 00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:23,210 And I remember, I kept telling myself 514 00:25:23,749 --> 00:25:25,691 that as soon as I had you in my arms 515 00:25:25,777 --> 00:25:27,460 that I could do that 516 00:25:28,062 --> 00:25:29,647 and that I would do that. 517 00:25:30,002 --> 00:25:34,444 Other women did it, so why couldn't I? 518 00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:37,826 So I gave the hospital a fake name. 519 00:25:37,912 --> 00:25:42,319 I left with you... the day you were born. 520 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,904 I remember they wanted me to stay, 521 00:25:43,990 --> 00:25:45,796 and they wanted me to rest, but I just wanted to get out. 522 00:25:45,881 --> 00:25:48,233 I just wanted to get out of there, and I just wanted... 523 00:25:52,124 --> 00:25:53,913 I just wanted to be alone with you, 524 00:25:53,998 --> 00:25:56,377 and I just wanted it to be the two of us, and... 525 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:01,553 ...and I wanted to stare at you and hold you... 526 00:26:05,270 --> 00:26:07,204 ...'til that love came. 527 00:26:09,115 --> 00:26:10,733 But it never did. 528 00:26:11,444 --> 00:26:13,076 No, it did. 529 00:26:15,069 --> 00:26:16,063 It did. 530 00:26:16,148 --> 00:26:18,765 Everything they said was absolutely right. 531 00:26:19,985 --> 00:26:22,467 My heart cracked wide open. 532 00:26:26,926 --> 00:26:28,476 It was never just us, 533 00:26:28,561 --> 00:26:31,236 no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did. 534 00:26:32,202 --> 00:26:34,678 I was just a reminder of him. 535 00:26:35,395 --> 00:26:37,779 I resented you so much for it. 536 00:26:41,173 --> 00:26:43,295 I spent most of my life... 537 00:26:44,414 --> 00:26:47,850 doubting everyone I ever met, 538 00:26:49,048 --> 00:26:51,715 leaving them before they could leave me. 539 00:26:52,830 --> 00:26:54,097 I am a grown woman. 540 00:26:56,388 --> 00:26:59,816 With a job that I love and friends I love 541 00:26:59,957 --> 00:27:01,886 and a husband who loves me, 542 00:27:01,972 --> 00:27:03,602 and still... 543 00:27:04,477 --> 00:27:05,784 still... 544 00:27:07,303 --> 00:27:11,354 I was walking around, uh, \waiting, 545 00:27:12,972 --> 00:27:15,074 wondering if you would ever find me. 546 00:27:17,034 --> 00:27:19,784 If you would ever say that you're sorry. 547 00:27:23,382 --> 00:27:24,581 I did the best I could. 548 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:27,206 The best you could would've been to find an adoption agency 549 00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:29,570 and make sure I had a home and someone to love me, 550 00:27:29,655 --> 00:27:31,800 not toss me away like garbage. 551 00:27:32,838 --> 00:27:35,948 It is so easy to look at me now 552 00:27:36,034 --> 00:27:37,011 and think of all the ways 553 00:27:37,097 --> 00:27:40,933 that I could've been kinder, better, or smarter, 554 00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:42,566 but... 555 00:27:44,855 --> 00:27:47,238 ...I was not the person I am today. 556 00:27:47,324 --> 00:27:48,941 I was not in my right mind. 557 00:27:49,027 --> 00:27:51,376 I wasn't in my mind at all. 558 00:27:53,363 --> 00:27:58,972 That night that... that he held me down, screaming. 559 00:28:00,243 --> 00:28:03,295 That night that he had his hands around my throat 560 00:28:03,589 --> 00:28:05,441 until I stopped screaming, 561 00:28:05,527 --> 00:28:07,824 when I was hovering over my own body 562 00:28:07,910 --> 00:28:10,210 while he was tearing away at me, 563 00:28:10,348 --> 00:28:12,872 that night that he smiled 564 00:28:13,032 --> 00:28:17,245 and he forced me to say that I liked it, 565 00:28:18,344 --> 00:28:20,620 when he laughed and... 566 00:28:22,573 --> 00:28:26,109 ...promised that we could do it any time that I wanted to... 567 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:32,750 ...that was the night that I lost my right mind. 568 00:28:34,245 --> 00:28:36,737 He stole it from me, and for nine months... 569 00:28:36,822 --> 00:28:39,502 for nine months, I pretended I was fine. 570 00:28:39,868 --> 00:28:42,194 I pretended that I wasn't a zombie, 571 00:28:42,327 --> 00:28:45,245 that I wasn't numb or dead inside. 572 00:28:45,864 --> 00:28:48,049 And then, the day that you were born, 573 00:28:48,135 --> 00:28:51,463 I held you, and I looked at your face, 574 00:28:51,549 --> 00:28:52,653 and I... 575 00:28:55,432 --> 00:28:57,558 ...I could feel again for the first time, 576 00:28:57,643 --> 00:28:59,080 but... 577 00:29:03,815 --> 00:29:05,385 ...my mind... 578 00:29:07,186 --> 00:29:08,862 ...that took years to come back. 579 00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:11,689 In fact, I'm... Part of it never did. 580 00:29:14,727 --> 00:29:16,963 Of course you deserved better. 581 00:29:21,839 --> 00:29:24,127 I didn't have better to give you. 582 00:29:33,065 --> 00:29:34,628 I was seven weeks pregnant 583 00:29:34,713 --> 00:29:37,104 when my ex-husband cracked my ribs 584 00:29:37,190 --> 00:29:39,510 and threw me across the living room floor. 585 00:29:41,186 --> 00:29:42,815 He didn't know that I was pregnant, 586 00:29:42,901 --> 00:29:46,940 and I decided in that moment that he could never know. 587 00:29:49,132 --> 00:29:52,135 I couldn't... I couldn't see a way out. 588 00:29:52,914 --> 00:29:54,380 Not then, at least. 589 00:29:56,298 --> 00:29:57,909 I knew that, if I tried to leave, 590 00:29:58,026 --> 00:29:59,534 he would kill me. 591 00:29:59,620 --> 00:30:02,690 But I also knew that I couldn't raise a kid 592 00:30:02,775 --> 00:30:06,477 in that... fear, and in that danger. 593 00:30:07,992 --> 00:30:09,565 You had an abortion. 594 00:30:10,415 --> 00:30:12,104 I've never told anyone that. 595 00:30:13,719 --> 00:30:15,823 I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of it. 596 00:30:15,909 --> 00:30:16,955 I... 597 00:30:18,791 --> 00:30:21,080 I did what I had to do. 598 00:30:34,606 --> 00:30:36,409 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 599 00:30:40,979 --> 00:30:42,721 Do I look like him? 600 00:30:48,873 --> 00:30:51,034 You have my father's eyes... 601 00:30:52,996 --> 00:30:54,565 but the hair is all mine. 602 00:30:57,346 --> 00:30:59,838 And maybe the fire in the belly. 603 00:31:03,101 --> 00:31:05,385 I did the best I could, 604 00:31:05,568 --> 00:31:07,018 and I'm still... 605 00:31:10,198 --> 00:31:12,987 I'm sorry. I'm still just doing the best I can. 606 00:31:41,582 --> 00:31:44,020 She's becoming increasingly tachypneic. 607 00:31:44,256 --> 00:31:46,330 Let OR 1 know that we're on our way. 608 00:31:46,474 --> 00:31:48,332 Abby, it's time. 609 00:31:48,417 --> 00:31:49,526 We have to go up now. 610 00:31:49,612 --> 00:31:50,873 No. I'm not... I'm not ready. I'm... 611 00:31:50,958 --> 00:31:52,670 Abby, I know you're scared. 612 00:31:52,755 --> 00:31:53,975 No, you're gonna... you're gonna... 613 00:31:54,060 --> 00:31:56,907 you're gonna take me out and knock me out where I... 614 00:31:56,992 --> 00:31:59,260 the last time I was out, h-he knocked me out. 615 00:31:59,345 --> 00:32:00,544 Abby. Abby, listen to me. 616 00:32:00,629 --> 00:32:03,036 If we don't do this surgery now, it could kill you. 617 00:32:03,122 --> 00:32:04,872 I can't. 618 00:32:05,144 --> 00:32:08,028 I can't leave here, this room. 619 00:32:08,270 --> 00:32:10,588 Everyone has his face, every man. 620 00:32:10,673 --> 00:32:12,223 It's all I see. 621 00:32:12,308 --> 00:32:14,358 Even when I close my eyes... 622 00:32:14,443 --> 00:32:16,622 Please. I can't see his face. 623 00:32:16,708 --> 00:32:18,262 Please don't I... make me see his face, please. 624 00:32:18,347 --> 00:32:20,184 You don't have to, Abby. 625 00:32:20,269 --> 00:32:21,725 You don't have to. 626 00:32:24,134 --> 00:32:25,243 Okay. 627 00:32:25,547 --> 00:32:29,286 Tuck says they're talking. What is that? Talking? 628 00:32:30,083 --> 00:32:31,242 I think they're dating. 629 00:32:31,327 --> 00:32:33,591 Mnh. Why do they do that? 630 00:32:33,762 --> 00:32:35,575 Why do they insist on coming up with new words 631 00:32:35,661 --> 00:32:37,414 when the old words were just fine? 632 00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:41,180 It's not funny. 633 00:32:41,470 --> 00:32:43,907 Well, you... you do sound a little, you know, 634 00:32:43,993 --> 00:32:45,188 "Get off my lawn!" 635 00:32:45,274 --> 00:32:46,290 No. 636 00:32:46,375 --> 00:32:48,954 I want him to be happy. 637 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,532 I want him to, you know, 638 00:32:50,618 --> 00:32:53,095 have the butterflies and first love and all that. 639 00:32:53,181 --> 00:32:54,688 Mm-hmm. Yeah, just not so soon. 640 00:32:56,819 --> 00:32:58,954 We're gonna have to sit his butt down 641 00:32:59,071 --> 00:33:01,422 and teach him about respect... 642 00:33:02,993 --> 00:33:05,709 ...empathy, consent. 643 00:33:05,794 --> 00:33:07,270 Condoms... Oh, dear Lord. 644 00:33:07,356 --> 00:33:09,075 I have to talk to my son about condoms. 645 00:33:09,161 --> 00:33:10,781 100%. 646 00:33:10,891 --> 00:33:12,201 Or... 647 00:33:13,850 --> 00:33:15,687 I could sit down with him. 648 00:33:16,324 --> 00:33:17,977 It can be on you. 649 00:33:19,278 --> 00:33:23,499 But my dad gave me this talk, and it worked. 650 00:33:26,606 --> 00:33:28,223 Mm, I gotta go. 651 00:33:32,588 --> 00:33:33,786 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 652 00:33:33,872 --> 00:33:35,282 You, uh... You can't go through there. 653 00:33:35,367 --> 00:33:36,508 Well, why not? 654 00:33:36,739 --> 00:33:38,725 Because I've been asked to see that you don't. 655 00:33:38,811 --> 00:33:39,854 Wha... 656 00:33:42,036 --> 00:33:43,517 Well, but she can go? 657 00:33:43,603 --> 00:33:44,749 Yes, sir. 658 00:33:52,608 --> 00:33:55,098 Dr. Karev asked us to all stand here? 659 00:33:55,184 --> 00:33:56,105 Do we know why? 660 00:33:56,191 --> 00:33:59,055 Just... that a patient needs us. 661 00:33:59,651 --> 00:34:01,162 She needs all of us. 662 00:34:02,335 --> 00:34:03,475 Okay. 663 00:34:06,772 --> 00:34:08,892 Okay, ladies, we need you all to line up 664 00:34:09,016 --> 00:34:10,594 either on the right side or left. 665 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,273 Please keep this middle aisle clear. 666 00:34:14,876 --> 00:34:16,444 Are you ready? 667 00:34:22,905 --> 00:34:26,657 ♪ Standin' on the platform ♪ 668 00:34:26,742 --> 00:34:29,242 ♪ Watching you go ♪ 669 00:34:31,002 --> 00:34:32,579 Yes. 670 00:34:33,208 --> 00:34:36,259 ♪ It's like no other pain ♪ 671 00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:39,523 ♪ I've ever known ♪ 672 00:34:43,095 --> 00:34:46,146 ♪ To love someone so much ♪ 673 00:34:46,428 --> 00:34:49,523 ♪ To have no control ♪ 674 00:34:53,105 --> 00:34:56,490 ♪ You said, "I wanna see the world" ♪ 675 00:34:56,638 --> 00:35:00,047 ♪ And I said, "Go" ♪ 676 00:35:05,481 --> 00:35:11,742 ♪ But I think I'm lost without you ♪ 677 00:35:16,331 --> 00:35:21,418 ♪ Strangers rushin' past, just tryna get home ♪ 678 00:35:26,035 --> 00:35:31,555 ♪ You were the only safehaven that I've known ♪ 679 00:35:36,045 --> 00:35:38,429 ♪ Hits me at full speed ♪ 680 00:35:38,574 --> 00:35:42,266 ♪ Feel like I can't breathe ♪ 681 00:35:42,351 --> 00:35:46,403 ♪ And nobody knows ♪ 682 00:35:46,496 --> 00:35:51,348 ♪ I think I'm lost without you ♪ 683 00:35:51,597 --> 00:35:52,747 Ready? 684 00:35:52,895 --> 00:35:56,598 ♪ You ♪ 685 00:35:56,865 --> 00:35:59,950 - ♪ I just feel crushed... ♪ - I'm staying right here. 686 00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:04,488 ♪ ..Without you ♪ 687 00:36:04,573 --> 00:36:07,082 ♪ 'Cause I've been strong for so long ♪ 688 00:36:07,168 --> 00:36:09,727 ♪ That I never thought ♪ 689 00:36:09,812 --> 00:36:16,433 ♪ How much I love you ♪ 690 00:36:16,518 --> 00:36:17,835 I've seen soldiers like this. 691 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,520 ♪ Standin' on the platform, ♪ Young women and young men, 692 00:36:20,606 --> 00:36:21,840 brutalized, with no. 693 00:36:21,926 --> 00:36:23,640 - ♪ Watching you go ♪ - idea how to talk about it. 694 00:36:25,082 --> 00:36:27,917 What you did today with Abby, that was not protocol... 695 00:36:28,003 --> 00:36:29,926 - ♪ You said, "I wanna see the world" ♪ - I know, I know, and I'm sorry. 696 00:36:30,011 --> 00:36:33,628 - ♪ And I said ♪ - I'm saying it should be. 697 00:36:36,307 --> 00:36:37,737 ♪ "Go" ♪ 698 00:36:43,985 --> 00:36:45,652 Abby, hi. 699 00:36:46,988 --> 00:36:49,029 We were able to repair your diaphragm. 700 00:36:49,115 --> 00:36:51,435 We had to place in a chest tube for drainage, 701 00:36:51,521 --> 00:36:53,661 but that'll probably come out in a few days. 702 00:36:54,322 --> 00:36:58,174 And your kit will stay here, if you decide to report it. 703 00:37:00,067 --> 00:37:01,918 You think I should do it, don't you? 704 00:37:02,003 --> 00:37:04,255 That is not our call to make. 705 00:37:05,789 --> 00:37:08,537 But we do think that you should talk to someone. 706 00:37:09,013 --> 00:37:10,723 Doesn't have to be your husband. 707 00:37:11,612 --> 00:37:13,056 But someone. 708 00:37:13,807 --> 00:37:16,243 I keep going over it in my head. 709 00:37:17,753 --> 00:37:20,714 If I hadn't been so distracted by my phone. 710 00:37:21,923 --> 00:37:23,606 If I had just trusted my gut 711 00:37:23,691 --> 00:37:26,386 and not gone down that street with the broken lamplights. 712 00:37:26,471 --> 00:37:27,849 Abby. 713 00:37:29,226 --> 00:37:32,796 This was not your fault. 714 00:37:33,608 --> 00:37:35,476 You didn't ask for this. 715 00:37:36,679 --> 00:37:40,170 There is nothing you did to deserve this. 716 00:37:42,710 --> 00:37:43,873 I can't. 717 00:37:43,959 --> 00:37:45,109 I just can't... 718 00:37:45,195 --> 00:37:46,929 Okay, that's okay. 719 00:37:48,115 --> 00:37:49,902 I'll check in on you in a little bit, all right? 720 00:37:49,987 --> 00:37:51,142 Try to get some rest. 721 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:53,757 Dr. Felix to the ER. 722 00:37:53,842 --> 00:37:55,185 Dr. Felix to the ER. 723 00:37:59,666 --> 00:38:01,199 Jack... 724 00:38:04,482 --> 00:38:07,717 He's gonna look at me and see this broken person. 725 00:38:10,282 --> 00:38:14,326 If I tell him this, it's all he'll ever see. 726 00:38:14,412 --> 00:38:15,712 Abby, look at me. 727 00:38:17,143 --> 00:38:18,993 This doesn't define you. 728 00:38:19,179 --> 00:38:21,630 And whether you tell your husband or you report it 729 00:38:21,716 --> 00:38:24,586 or you don't tell another soul, you're a survivor. 730 00:38:24,707 --> 00:38:26,459 You survived. 731 00:38:27,375 --> 00:38:29,748 I still feel nauseous when I see 732 00:38:29,834 --> 00:38:32,608 men in expensive shoes with the points of the toes, 733 00:38:32,693 --> 00:38:35,092 because that's how my ex-husband made my kidney bleed. 734 00:38:35,209 --> 00:38:37,814 For years, I thought I got what I deserved, 735 00:38:37,899 --> 00:38:40,451 that I was responsible, that maybe, 736 00:38:40,551 --> 00:38:45,138 just maybe if I had said or done one thing differently... 737 00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:46,922 But none of that was your fault. 738 00:38:47,201 --> 00:38:48,484 No. 739 00:38:53,609 --> 00:38:55,318 It's not your fault. 740 00:39:07,925 --> 00:39:10,272 Do you have a phone I can use? 741 00:39:10,716 --> 00:39:11,900 Yes. 742 00:39:17,235 --> 00:39:18,990 Will you stay? 743 00:39:19,076 --> 00:39:21,037 As long as you need. 744 00:39:35,899 --> 00:39:37,473 ♪ Slow down ♪ 745 00:39:38,715 --> 00:39:42,129 - ♪ Try to breathe in deep ♪ 746 00:39:42,215 --> 00:39:43,606 ♪ Listen ♪ 747 00:39:45,366 --> 00:39:46,282 ♪ To the words I speak ♪ 748 00:39:46,367 --> 00:39:48,613 Any game we watch on TV... right? they... 749 00:39:48,699 --> 00:39:53,582 they run, toss, wrestle, chase, until someone gets hurt. 750 00:39:53,741 --> 00:39:57,082 Or until someone calls "time out." 751 00:39:57,522 --> 00:39:58,972 Then the game stops. 752 00:39:59,113 --> 00:40:01,197 And no matter how much fun they're having, 753 00:40:01,282 --> 00:40:03,176 everything stops. 754 00:40:03,262 --> 00:40:07,137 - ♪ Calling out for help, out for help ♪ - That's consent. 755 00:40:07,387 --> 00:40:08,970 I thought we were just having burgers. 756 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,629 Yeah, well, I thought talking was just talking, 757 00:40:11,715 --> 00:40:13,403 but you and I both know that's not the same thing anymore, 758 00:40:13,488 --> 00:40:14,809 so... 759 00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:17,614 ♪ Waiting to save yourself from falling into deep ♪ 760 00:40:17,699 --> 00:40:20,650 You pay attention to the girl you're with, all right? 761 00:40:20,735 --> 00:40:23,160 You... You... You need to care about her feelings, 762 00:40:23,246 --> 00:40:24,012 her... her joy, 763 00:40:24,098 --> 00:40:25,937 at... at least as much as you care about your own. 764 00:40:26,022 --> 00:40:27,170 - Okay, okay. - ♪ I won't ♪ 765 00:40:27,264 --> 00:40:28,985 - And she gets to change her mind. - ♪ Let you down, my friend ♪ 766 00:40:29,070 --> 00:40:30,601 At any time. I mean, if she says 767 00:40:30,687 --> 00:40:32,661 "stop," or if she stops having fun, you... 768 00:40:32,747 --> 00:40:35,218 - you just plain stop. - ♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪ 769 00:40:35,304 --> 00:40:36,445 Time out. 770 00:40:36,605 --> 00:40:38,406 - Game over. - I know. 771 00:40:38,492 --> 00:40:42,015 ♪ I won't leave you in the cold ♪ 772 00:40:42,101 --> 00:40:44,573 - Being with someone you like is... - ♪ On your own ♪ 773 00:40:44,658 --> 00:40:45,841 ♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪ 774 00:40:45,926 --> 00:40:48,796 There's nothing like it, and I want you to be safe and happy, 775 00:40:48,882 --> 00:40:52,062 but that only happens if she is, too. 776 00:40:52,460 --> 00:40:53,709 Okay. 777 00:40:53,834 --> 00:40:56,702 - Say it. - ♪ Come and sit with me down ♪ 778 00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:58,561 - Say it. - ♪ Pour out ♪ 779 00:40:59,764 --> 00:41:01,457 ♪ Whatever's weighing you down ♪ 780 00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:05,265 If she stops having fun, just plain stop. 781 00:41:05,351 --> 00:41:06,820 Time out. Game over. 782 00:41:06,913 --> 00:41:08,374 Always. 783 00:41:08,998 --> 00:41:12,783 Now, pass those fries and tell me what this Kelly is like. 784 00:41:12,869 --> 00:41:14,650 ♪ Calm down, calm down ♪ 785 00:41:14,736 --> 00:41:15,901 Yeah. 786 00:41:16,857 --> 00:41:19,468 Too often, trauma gets dismissed 787 00:41:19,554 --> 00:41:21,281 as "just in our head." 788 00:41:21,862 --> 00:41:23,866 - But the pain is real. - ♪ Waiting ♪ 789 00:41:23,952 --> 00:41:27,437 - ♪ To save yourself, save yourself ♪ - We feel it... 790 00:41:27,523 --> 00:41:30,734 in our muscles, our cells, 791 00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:33,923 our hearts, our heads. 792 00:41:34,008 --> 00:41:37,156 ♪ Stop running ♪ 793 00:41:37,242 --> 00:41:40,335 - ♪ Stop hiding ♪ - And while there's no magic fix... 794 00:41:40,601 --> 00:41:44,632 - ♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪ - ..no pill to make it disappear, 795 00:41:45,582 --> 00:41:47,062 we can ask for help. 796 00:41:47,148 --> 00:41:50,573 ♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪ 797 00:41:50,658 --> 00:41:53,562 Hey, I'm officially no longer the interim chief, 798 00:41:53,648 --> 00:41:55,011 and officially starving. 799 00:41:55,096 --> 00:41:56,687 Can I take you out to celebrate? 800 00:41:56,773 --> 00:41:58,054 I've had a rough day. 801 00:41:58,140 --> 00:41:59,710 I don't really feel like celebrating. 802 00:41:59,796 --> 00:42:01,242 Yeah, well, we can just talk. 803 00:42:01,342 --> 00:42:03,626 I just want to go home and crawl into bed. 804 00:42:03,750 --> 00:42:05,062 All right, well, we can do that. 805 00:42:05,195 --> 00:42:06,226 Alex, I'm tired. 806 00:42:06,327 --> 00:42:08,601 Can you just go celebrate with Meredith? 807 00:42:08,687 --> 00:42:11,007 Jo, it's me. You can talk to me. 808 00:42:11,102 --> 00:42:12,765 What... you think with all my family crap 809 00:42:12,851 --> 00:42:14,130 that I'm gonna judge you? 810 00:42:14,216 --> 00:42:15,679 I'm not going to judge. 811 00:42:15,999 --> 00:42:19,187 Just, I just want you talk to me. 812 00:42:19,282 --> 00:42:21,214 I don't want to talk about it. 813 00:42:21,300 --> 00:42:22,944 Alex, I... 814 00:42:24,256 --> 00:42:25,884 I can't talk about it. 815 00:42:26,079 --> 00:42:27,678 I just want to go home. 816 00:42:28,145 --> 00:42:29,787 I want to go home alone. 817 00:42:30,017 --> 00:42:32,459 I want to go home and sleep. 818 00:42:32,572 --> 00:42:34,233 Please. 819 00:42:37,556 --> 00:42:39,717 It wont change tell our truth. 820 00:42:39,803 --> 00:42:42,224 ♪ You in the cold, on your own ♪ 821 00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:43,873 Whenever we are ready. 822 00:42:43,959 --> 00:42:47,592 ♪ I wont let you down my friend ♪ 823 00:42:48,512 --> 00:42:50,914 Synchronized by srjanapala