1
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,240
"All right, come on."

2
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,040
Come...
Damn it, White!

3
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,440
How many times do I have
to tell you about refilling the roll?

4
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:11,240
Huh?

5
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,080
I can... Am I too short?
I can't reach it.

6
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,320
Oh, god!

7
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:24,520
And welcome...

8
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,200
You are not...

9
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,480
"superhuman."

10
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:33,760
White, White, White!

11
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,080
- White, get in here!
- Billy, I don't care how big it is...

12
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,040
I don't want to see
what you made in there.

13
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,520
White, I just remembered something.

14
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,400
- What?
- Everything.

15
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,240
It all came flooding back to me
like a tidal wave...

16
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,680
things that happened years ago.

17
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,960
I fell off the toilet, and suddenly
my hand started doing this weird st...

18
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,320
Wait a minute.
You! You were there, too!

19
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,280
Hello, Goldilocks?
This is Casper.

20
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,240
Little Nemo has fallen out of bed.

21
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,400
Hello, and welcome to "Quizboys"!

22
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,360
I'm your host
the ever-popular Pete White.

23
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,520
Let's jump right in and meet
today's contestants, shall we?

24
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:48,000
He's our reigning champion, who's won
over $40,000 in cash and prizes so far.

25
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,520
- Say hello to Master Billy Whalen.
- Hi, Mr. White.

26
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,760
So, what are you gonna do
with all that money, Billy?

27
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,320
Well, I'm hoping to save it
for college tuition.

28
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,840
- Any idea where you want to go yet?
- Yes, sir! M.I.T.

29
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,560
I'm gonna be a superscientist
when I grow up...

30
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,600
"just like my hero
Rusty Venture."

31
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,000
- "Well, that's quite..."
- Barkeep!

32
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,760
Another Suffering Bastard.
Whoa!

33
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,120
- Yello?
- "There you are."

34
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,000
"How could you just leave like that
without telling me where you're going?"

35
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,880
Look, you're not my mother.
You're my bodyguard.

36
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,520
"How can I guard your body
if I can't be close to your body?"

37
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:26,280
Good God. Barkeep
where's that Suffering Bastard?

38
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,120
- I'm looking at him.
- Oh, ha ha ha.

39
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,280
"OK, contestants, pens down.
Time's up."

40
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:36,960
The question was, "Who was the last
king of the Plantagenet dynasty?"

41
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,560
"Todd, your answer."

42
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,760
"Richard III.
That's correct."

43
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,320
OK, Billy
you get this answer right...

44
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,320
you'll remain "Quizboys" champion
and return next week.

45
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,120
For all the marbles...
what's your answer?

46
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,640
That's right!
You win! You're still...

47
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,800
Hey, he cheated!
That's not what he wrote!

48
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,960
Now, Todd
let's not be a sore loser.

49
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,520
I'm not!
That isn't what he wrote!

50
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,240
He's a cheater! Cheater!

51
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,680
Cheater!

52
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,880
Cheater. Todd's the little cheater
I'll tell you that.

53
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,680
How's he gonna know what you wrote
if he wasn't peeking at your answers?

54
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,760
I'm done!
My life is over!

55
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,040
- I'll never quiz again!
- Forget M.I.T. now.

56
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,600
I never asked for the answers.

57
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,840
I didn't want to cheat.
You did this to me.

58
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,400
Hey, hey. Let's not make me
out to be the bad guy here, huh?

59
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,920
- Us freaks have to stick together.
- Us freaks?

60
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,880
Yeah, like, fun.
A handsome TV guy like you...

61
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,920
you'll probably end up
with a talk show out of this.

62
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,880
No, Billy.
You see...

63
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,200
I'm a freak, too.

64
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,000
Well, some of us can't make
our heads smaller with makeup, OK?

65
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,720
Look, you said Rusty Venture
was your hero, right?

66
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,160
And how?

67
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,400
Well, I happen to be
very good friends with him.

68
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:54,520
I am, and he told me that he's about
to start a huge new project.

69
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:59,480
And he needs a new head scientist
and a new lab assistant.

70
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,080
- But what about my schooling?
- Experience is the best teacher, Billy

71
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,600
This is better than going
to 10 M.I.T.s.

72
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,000
The invisible hand of fate
has pushed us to this point, Billy.

73
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,960
Our destiny lies
with Dr. Rusty Venture!

74
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,600
- You think he would have me?
- I told you I got an in.

75
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,600
We just need to get out to his lab
and I'll take care of the rest.

76
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,160
Now, you got all that prize
money, right?

77
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,800
No, I don't.
The F.C.C. froze my assets.

78
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,320
Yeah, and I pissed away
most of my savings on blow...

79
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,880
but I've got a brand-new set of wheels
and I think I just might know...

80
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,640
how we can earn
some gas money along the way.

81
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,800
''O.S.I.''

82
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,240
"little guy "

83
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,680
"O.S.I."

84
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,160
"We'll tear a new hole in the sky"

85
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,200
"When it's time to start the war"

86
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,560
"You'll hear our mighty engines roar"

87
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,800
"A superarmy of superspies"

88
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,920
"Look out, kids
Look out, guy"

89
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,440
"O.S.I."

90
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,360
"we'll make the children cry"

91
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,240
"O.S.I."

92
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,240
"Here we come, look up in the sky"

93
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,640
"O.S.I."

94
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,440
"Mass destruction, bombs away"

95
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,960
Well, well, well, well, well.

96
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,000
If it isn't Mr. McGee
and his little friend the Hulk.

97
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:24,040
Didn't notice you ladies
out there in the battlefield, as usual.

98
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,240
That's because we're doing
real spy work, Shore Leave.

99
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,840
Oh, that's right, I forgot.

100
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,880
You're too busy chasing some phantom
costume terrorist organization...

101
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,880
to help us fight the real enemies
of freedom... Sphinx.

102
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,320
Yo S.I.!

103
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,440
We'll prove the Guild is still around
and we'll take them down without you.

104
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,920
- Just you wait!
- I won't hold my breath.

105
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,120
Let's hit the showers, fellas!
Whoo!

106
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,200
Yo S.I.! Yo S.I.! Yo S.I.!

107
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,280
Oh, Hunter
Wayland Flowers called.

108
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,680
He wants his madame back.
Boom!

109
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,440
Oh, yeah?
Well, the Village People called...

110
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,000
and they want you to go fucking
kill yourselves, you pansy bastards!

111
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,960
Place has gone to hell in a ham sandwich
since they eighty-sixed the dress code.

112
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,800
Those fellas razzing you?

113
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,760
You want me to say something
to them?

114
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,280
- No, we got it covered, Red.
- Adios, muchachos.

115
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,080
Oh, you hear they're
gonna ban smoking in here soon?

116
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,560
Let the swines try it.

117
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,960
Colonel Gathers, this just came in
over the telex for you guys.

118
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,760
We got one.

119
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,160
I've only heard about these.
I didn't know they were real.

120
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,240
Oh, this is as real as it gets, Billy.

121
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,880
No lightning rounds
no bonus questions, no mercy.

122
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,520
You're going down, Whalen.

123
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,640
Don't even think about pulling
any of that cheating crap in here.

124
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,640
Yeah. Yeah, you know what they do
if they catch you cheating, don't you?

125
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,120
They take one of your hands

126
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,760
your buzzer hand.

127
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,720
- White, I can't do this.
- Oh, yes, you can, fella.

128
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,680
I've seen a lot of quiz boys
come and go

129
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,280
and you are by far the best
I've ever seen.

130
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,640
You were put on this Earth
for one purpose, Billy, to quiz.

131
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,800
Now, I robbed you of that purpose
once, and I'm sorry.

132
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:59,600
- Will you let me make it up to you?
- "Stage moms, clear the arena."

133
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,080
Ladies and gentlemen,
quiz boys and girls...

134
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,920
Welcome to the quiz doom.

135
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,800
"Jeopardy!" rules apply
answers in the form of a question.

136
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,600
You have five seconds after buzzing.
Winner take all.

137
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:17,520
And first question:
in 1215...

138
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,600
Billy Whalen.

139
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,240
- What is the Magna Carta?
- Correct!

140
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,200
Cows on my side.
That's 6-2, me.

141
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,960
Monster! I'll catch you yet.
Show yourselves, you cowards!

142
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,520
This is a farm belt.
Let's see some action on this side!

143
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,040
- Cows on my side.
- Unconscionable bastards.

144
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,400
Oh! Oh! Cemetery!
You lose all your cows.

145
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,640
Damn it, this side's cursed.
Your turn to drive, you lurid golem.

146
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,960
This is it, Billy.
Our new life is calling.

147
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:07,280
Mr. White, how can I ever begin to repay
you for... what's going on?

148
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,280
Don't touch me, don't touch me,
don't touch me!

149
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,640
It's OK, H.E.L.P.eR.
She's gone now.

150
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,680
- What's goin' on, Rust?
- What the hell are you doing here?

151
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,080
"All staffed up.
Try back in a few months."

152
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,320
"Never much good at science any..."
Who does he think he is?

153
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,120
My life is over.
I have no prospects.

154
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,560
And my boyhood hero
is a total dick.

155
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:41,280
All right, just don't you worry, fella.
The pink pilgrim's gotten you this far.

156
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,520
I'm not gonna leave you hanging
when the chips are down.

157
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,920
In fact, I've already lined up
another quiz.

158
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,080
This doesn't look
like the usual quiz crowd.

159
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,880
Yeah, well, I guess
we're close to the border...

160
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,720
but the game's still the same.

161
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,920
You get in there
and work the old magic, huh?

162
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,480
Listos, a pelear!

163
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,080
I didn't know, Billy, I swear.

164
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,000
I'm finished with this, finished.

165
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,280
Just give me my 40 percent
and let me off.

166
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,360
Uh, there is no money.

167
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:16,400
I bet our whole wad, and, well, let's
be honest here, Billy, you did lose.

168
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,640
I was disqualified
because you jumped in the ring.

169
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,120
To get your hand.

170
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,640
Stop the moped.
Stop this thing right now.

171
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:28,560
Billy, there's coyotes out here.
You want to lose your other hand?

172
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,040
It would be safer than spending
one more minute with you.

173
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,360
You brought me nothing
but trouble since I met you.

174
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,640
I never want to see you again.

175
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:44,480
Oh, by the way
I talked to the other quiz boys.

176
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,080
Managers get 15 percent!

177
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,040
Son, you look like you could
use a hand.

178
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,320
- "Yello?"
- Rust, it's White.

179
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,520
- Let me in, I...
- "Venture residence."

180
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,120
Hey, Rust, let me in.
I need to see Bro...

181
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,920
- "Whom shall I say is calling?"
- Come on, Rust, don't be a dick.

182
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:18,280
"Please do not be alarmed.
We are about to engage..."

183
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,200
"the nozzle."

184
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,560
"Please do not move
while the nozzle is engaging."

185
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,200
"Moving will disrupt calibration of..."

186
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,080
"the nozzle."

187
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,760
"Please wait while we calibrate..."

188
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,800
"the nozzle."

189
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,720
"Please do not look away from..."

190
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,600
"the nozzle."

191
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,480
"The nozzle is now calibrating."

192
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,680
"The nozzle is still calibrating."

193
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,920
"The nozzle has completed calibration."

194
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,320
- "Thank you."
- There's our pink-cheeked junior G-man

195
00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,120
- What was that thing?
- I have no idea. Standard, uh...

196
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,640
How do you like
your new body buddies?

197
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,240
Amazing.
You totally fixed everything

198
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,800
but I'm still a little confused.
I mean, why me?

199
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,760
- You fit the profile.
- Deformed, disgraced.

200
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,600
An extra-intelligent superfreak
shunned by an unforgiving world.

201
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,040
Yeah, that sounds like a profile
for, like, suicide.

202
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,280
Or an international supervillain.

203
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,720
We've been investigating
a university professor...

204
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,640
we believe is secretly
a major recruiter...

205
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,560
for a global underground
crime syndicate.

206
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,040
Drumroll. The Guild
of Calamitous Intent.

207
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,480
From the old Rusty Venture
TV show?

208
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,480
- You see? You see?!
- Well, that's just a dramatiz-iz-iza...

209
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,200
Dramatization.

210
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,440
Yeah, the real Guild is still out there
operating in secret... we think.

211
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,120
And this professor is the key.

212
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,720
Check out his cuff links.

213
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:48,240
So, you, what? You want me
to assassinate this guy or something?

214
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,960
- No. We want you to ace his class.
- Congratulations, lad.

215
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,640
You're now a fully matriculated
student of State University.

216
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,280
Oh. I kind of wanted
to go to M.I.T.

217
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,880
And I wanted to be born
with big, beautiful tits!

218
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,560
Make some lemonade with this, will ya?

219
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,440
Ah, young Mr. Whalen.

220
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,560
Do find a seat quickly, Quizboy.

221
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,800
I was starting to teach
your more punctual peers.

222
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,640
Sorry, Professor Fantomos.
I had trouble finding the building.

223
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,440
Yes, yes. It's a great big
new world for you.

224
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,200
And, Mr. Quizboy, I heard you
were recently exonerated...

225
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,160
but allow me to impress one
thing upon you...

226
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,520
we do not tolerate cheating
at State University.

227
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,920
The punishment is severe.

228
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,200
Professor Fantomos
you're needed in the office.

229
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,560
Ah, well, if you'll excuse me, class.

230
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,840
Stevie, would you please take over
the lecture for me?

231
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,760
Kessler's, chapter four.

232
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,520
And, students, I expect those papers
on my desk...

233
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,160
at the start of the next class.

234
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,200
OK, guys, uh, page 72.

235
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,240
"Um, we're learning..."

236
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:55,800
"Suddenly, I'm not so different"

237
00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:02,400
"Suddenly, I'm not so all alone"

238
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,920
"Suddenly, I'm"

239
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,840
"wonder if it's the same Stevie."

240
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:17,800
Oh! Ge...

241
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000
"Get ahold of yourself
and stop hyperventilating!"

242
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,600
This is a small car god damn it.

243
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,000
Just keep your cool
and don't blow the mission.

244
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,640
We're getting excellent intel
out of you.

245
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,680
What intel? I've been here for a day.

246
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,800
- I haven't done any spying yet.
- Sure, you have.

247
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,600
That new eye of yours actually a 3-D
laser matrix holographic camera.

248
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,160
And this little pud puller
stores all the data.

249
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,960
What? You guys wired me?

250
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,000
Are you kidding?
You're a walking wire, and right now...

251
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,560
you need to walk back in there
and do your God-given duty.

252
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,960
There are no free hands
in this business, son.

253
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,440
I'm sorry, Sheila...

254
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,400
but if I extend the deadline
for one student...

255
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,800
I'd have to extend it
for all of them.

256
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,840
Well, thank you, anyway
Professor Fantomos.

257
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,480
Mr. Whalen, thank you for coming.

258
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,120
Professor Fantomos, if this is
about my paper, I'm really sorry.

259
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,840
We'll get to that, but first I wanted
to see how you were holding up...

260
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,640
and extend my deepest condolences
about Stevie.

261
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,560
Oh, I'm the one who should be sorry.

262
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,760
I understand he was your lab
assistant for some time?

263
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,160
Yes, he was quite
a clever boy... Regrettable

264
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:23,680
which brings us to the other reason
I asked you here.

265
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,120
My paper. You see...

266
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,200
I'll be needing a new lab assistant
and I'd like him to be you.

267
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,440
Me? I don't think I'm ready.

268
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,840
Nonsense! I read your paper.
It was brilliant, perfect.

269
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,640
Frankly, I think my class
may be beneath you.

270
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,200
And this ingenious contraption
you've built...

271
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,000
based on a Mike Sariamo design
is it not?

272
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,000
He was a student of mine, you know.

273
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,360
Ah, the brightest mind I've ever
taught... Until now.

274
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,760
There's something you should
know, William.

275
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,960
Like you, I was born... different.

276
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,360
Yes, my family rejected me...

277
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,200
the last son in a long line
of costumed adventurers.

278
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,680
Clearly, I couldn't take on
the mantle of my forebears...

279
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:09,840
with this body, so I instead
turned to science.

280
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,120
What nature, in her caprice
left unfinished...

281
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,640
science had the power
to make whole again.

282
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:20,600
And now that I've acquired this
my work here is nearly complete.

283
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,360
You see, I've recently become
the beneficiary...

284
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:29,080
of a rather generous grant
from the Guild...

285
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,360
- of collegiate investors.
- Oh, I... what? Oh.

286
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,360
Well, OK, well, I'd love to help you
professor...

287
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,200
but I don't know if I can handle
the extra work.

288
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:40,320
Nonsense! The university bylaws
clearly stipulate that the roommate...

289
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,720
of a suicide is automatically granted
a 4.0 for the semester.

290
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:48,760
You've got a free ride Mr. Whalen
that I might have you all to myself.

291
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,760
The invisible hand of fate has brought
us together, Quizboy.

292
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:57,000
We freaks... If you'll pardon the crude
vernacular...

293
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,120
must work in tandem.

294
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,360
I don't think he's your guy.

295
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,440
Of course he is.
All the intel points to it, damn it.

296
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,520
Again with the intel.
You saw what he said.

297
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,600
He's not in the Guild
of Calamitous Intent.

298
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,440
It's like a businessman's club
or something.

299
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,520
That's what they said about the
Bilderberg group, son...

300
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,000
and then whammo!
Berlin Wall comes tumbling down.

301
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,120
- No, it hasn't.
- Oh, it will, kiddo.

302
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,840
It was decided at the last meeting.

303
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,800
Billy, you got to do
the lab-assistant gig.

304
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,840
- You're our only hope now.
- What do you mean, "now"?

305
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,760
Well, look, I didn't
want to tell you this...

306
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,880
but Stevie was our other man
on the inside.

307
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,520
Code name... Pussyface.

308
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,040
- Is that why he killed himself?
- Open your eyes, kid.

309
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,920
Your real one.

310
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,360
Fantomos killed him because
he was getting too close... we think.

311
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,880
And you expect me to take his place?

312
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,880
- No way, Jose!
- Relax, he's not gonna kill you.

313
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,400
- How can you be so sure?
- Because he's crazy about you.

314
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,120
- He loved your paper.
- I never wrote my paper.

315
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,920
I spent the night explaining
the dead Stevie

316
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,360
- in the closet to the campus police
- That's why we wrote it for you.

317
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,960
Well, Stephen Hawking did.
We called in a favor.

318
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,400
That's cheating.

319
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,440
Cheating is what the spy business
is all about, boy chick.

320
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,560
Why, if we don't keep our eyes
on our neighbor's paper...

321
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,080
the baddies get the bomb
and the whole world goes kablooey.

322
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,960
You keep thinking you're here
on the G.I. bill or something, kid.

323
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,040
You are not here to write essays!
You're not even in college!

324
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,160
You are in the office
of secret intelligence

325
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,880
you damn, dirty, little crybaby freak!

326
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,560
Oh, watch the balls!
Get him!

327
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:26,200
Ah, there you are. Come at once.
The reactor's all fired up and ready.

328
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,440
- I need you to monitor the experiment.
- Wait

329
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,120
I don't think I'm qualified to do that.

330
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,600
I cheated.

331
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,960
Don't you think
I know that, William?

332
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,200
- You do?
- Of course.

333
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,880
You did what any of us
who were born different...

334
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,880
need to do to get
a leg up on everyone else...

335
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,240
particularly when we're born
without proper ones.

336
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:46,160
And what of it? Those quiz-show
simpletons have no right...

337
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,600
to keep a genius
from his dreams over petty money.

338
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,360
Quiz show?
No, that's not what I was...

339
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,320
Could you be a dear
and get that for me?

340
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,360
Oh, sure, Professor.
What are you doing?

341
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,720
Being born again
my little friend.

342
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,280
These mechanical husks
are more than mere prosthetics.

343
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,520
They're muscle-growth accelerators...

344
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,760
incubators for my glorious
new normal limbs.

345
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,560
You're gonna grow new arms and legs?

346
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,760
Precisely, my prodigiously perspicacious
protege.

347
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:13,880
Only the tremendous power I require to
do so was always beyond my grasp.

348
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,880
That is, until the Guild provided
the atomic get-up-and-go.

349
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,600
Now, fire it up, my boy.

350
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,960
It's working. I feel it.

351
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,960
Unspeakable power courses through
my every fibrous sinew.

352
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,720
I feel as if I could take over
the world!

353
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,880
More power!

354
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,800
Yes!

355
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,720
They're becoming more than normal
better, stronger...

356
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,760
dare I say superhuman?

357
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,840
More power, William!

358
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:56,160
Something's amiss. Check the core
wall displacement sequencer.

359
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,400
I don't know what that is.

360
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,720
Of course you do.
You wrote a paper on it.

361
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,280
No, Professor Fantomos, I didn't.

362
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,040
I didn't write it.

363
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,800
I cheated!

364
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,800
Oh, bother. Ohh!

365
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,680
He died for my sin.

366
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,040
Billy, don't worry, we're here!

367
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,880
- Bad news.
- "The most asinine..."

368
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,800
"slop-happiest piece of espionage
I've ever seen!"

369
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,840
Look at me when I'm talking
to you, Samson!

370
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,040
Don't you want to wait
till Hunter gets here?

371
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,440
You're gonna strain your voice
yelling twice.

372
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:42,160
Colonel Gathers has been transferred
to Guam effective 0700 this morning.

373
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:45,360
Your windmill-chasing days are over
Sancho Panza.

374
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,440
You got a new assignment.

375
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,560
Aw, come on. This is rookie stuff.

376
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,320
- Dismissed, Samson!
- What about the kid?

377
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:57,160
What, do you want to adopt him?
I said take it on the arches.

378
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:02,080
Psi-Ops needs guinea pigs
for their memory-wipe project, OK?

379
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,480
So, unlike you, he still works here.

380
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,960
Billy?

381
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,320
Billy, you OK, fella?

382
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,080
White. Brock.
Dr. Venture, where...

383
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,320
It's OK, Pally.
You just took a little fall is all.

384
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,280
- You're safe now.
- Oh, I was having the weirdest...

385
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,480
you sons of bitches!

386
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,800
Come on! Oh, hey, hey!

387
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,400
Easy

388
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,040
Subtitled by: Image Production House