1
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,280
"Zoology... a cat has
over 100 vocal cords"

2
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,280
"while the giraffe has none."

3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,560
"Astronomy... the temperature
of the sun can reach"

4
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,600
"50 million degrees Fahrenheit."

5
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,040
"Anatomy... there are 9,000
taste buds on your tongue."

6
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,760
And the answer to today's
trigonometry problem is...

7
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,200
Well, would you look at that?

8
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,920
It would appear that's
all the time we have...

9
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,160
- "Hank and Dean."
- Today marks the completion

10
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,800
of our progressive, electronic

11
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,640
cross-disciplinary educational
journey together.

12
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,040
You're now fully prepared to embark
on your first solo adventure...

13
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:36,480
to college and the fulfilling life
of super-science that awaits beyond.

14
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,120
So, I suppose the only thing
I have left to say is...

15
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,800
Congratulations.

16
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,280
"Hank and Dean."

17
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,800
- Hey, what you got there?
- It's a diploma.

18
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,400
Weren't you listening?

19
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,240
- Uh, what?
- I think we just graduated.

20
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,720
We did?
Cool!

21
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,720
Does that mean we can
finally ditch these nerd pods

22
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,640
- and get bunk beds?
- I don't know.

23
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,480
Where's yours?

24
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,640
"Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
Come to order."

25
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,400
"We have a movement on the floor."

26
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,920
"Councilman 2?"

27
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,600
"In the interest of preserving the
sanctity of this esteemed council"

28
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,920
"I propose that we immediately
commence the vetting of candidates"

29
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,400
"to replace Councilman 8."

30
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,840
- "Yes!"
- "Yeah."

31
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,280
"Whoa! Why?
What did I do?"

32
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,160
"We are the council of 13,
not the council of 12."

33
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:39,880
"And since your merger with Councilman 3
your screen has remained vacant."

34
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,320
"Well, I'm still here!"

35
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,200
"It's not as if we're
only one guy now"

36
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,280
"just because of this...
this head business."

37
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,360
"Well, now, I-I sort of see
their point."

38
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,880
"See?
We don't even vote the same."

39
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,040
"I said to her..."

40
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,280
I said, I said,
"that's not a ceiling."

41
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,080
"Time's up, Limb.
Visiting hours are over."

42
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,880
Tell the others, Wisdom.
It's time.

43
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,920
All right, hands where
I can see them.

44
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,160
- Oh, aren't you cute?
- You know the drill.

45
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,480
- Guy's batshit crazy.
- Sad.

46
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,080
You're lucky
you weren't on duty

47
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,240
when he had his conjugal visit
with a freakin' shoe.

48
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,720
Hear me,
my special friends.

49
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,280
"Come to me."

50
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,520
Avenge me.

51
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,440
Yes, just like we planned.

52
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,200
What the... what?

53
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,640
Armando.

54
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,400
Leftenant Shankly.

55
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,960
Good to have you back.

56
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,520
- "Oh, my god!"
- What?

57
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,160
Don't move.
There is a bug on you.

58
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,760
There is? Where?!
Oh, God! Get it off!

59
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,720
It's one of those ones that fly!
I hate those!

60
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,440
Yes, it's unfortunate they had
to be sacrificed, Wisdom

61
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,640
but don't blame yourself.
Your plan was brilliant.

62
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,480
A work of art.

63
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,120
All it needs now
is a signature.

64
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,720
"It is quite simple."

65
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,400
"On days with T's in them,
we sit in my screen."

66
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,120
"On all others,
we're in Dragoon's."

67
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,600
"Yes, yes.
I like this."

68
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,920
"Gentlemen! It seems there is
another movement on the floor."

69
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,800
- "I heard nothing!"
- "And it is a doozy."

70
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,080
- What is the point of all this?
- State law mandates

71
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,360
each student gets a minimum
of two hours face time

72
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,080
with a certified
guidance counselor

73
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,680
or, in this case
a friend of your dad's.

74
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,440
What's a guidance counselor?

75
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,200
Usually it's a guy
you barely know

76
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:23,080
who gives you career advice even
though his career is guidance counselor

77
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,920
and sometimes he helps
you get into college.

78
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,560
But I don't want to go
to college.

79
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,960
Well, it's not for everybody.
That's why we're doing this...

80
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,560
to determine what individual
path is right for you.

81
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,440
So, what did you put down?

82
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,480
- Number one..."drifter."
- All right. Okay.

83
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,720
That's not really a career, Hank.
It's like the opposite of a career.

84
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,640
Ah, but you don't need to go to
college to be one, right?

85
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:46,000
Plus, you get paid to just walk around
all day reading sexy letters

86
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,440
like the guy in
"Red Shoe Diaries."

87
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,760
He wasn't a drifter.
The guy's getting all his mail.

88
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,960
- That implies a fixed address.
- Okay, fine.

89
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,440
Then, like,
David "The Hulk" Banner.

90
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,600
Well, David Banner's real name
is actually Dr.David Bruce Banner.

91
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,160
- So, he's a scientist.
- Oh, then I don't want to be that.

92
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,600
Well, what's your second choice?

93
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,080
"Owner and operator
of The Chimp Eden."

94
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,200
Okay, well,
that's barely saner

95
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,920
but for that we're talking three, four
years of veterinary school, minimum

96
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,800
and that's on top
of a bachelor's degree.

97
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,240
Scratch that one, too.

98
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,560
- Man, way to ruin Chimp Eden.
- Okay, you made a mistake here.

99
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,640
- You wrote "Batman" twice.
- That's intentional.

100
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,400
Number three is golden age Batman,
and number four is post-crisis Batman.

101
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,320
They're, like, two completely
different Batmen.

102
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,480
Okay.
So that just leaves "secutor"?

103
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,040
Were you trying to spell
"executive"?

104
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,200
A "secutor" is a kind of gladiator.

105
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,640
They've got the coolest helmets

106
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,640
and they get to beat up
on those gay lord gladiators

107
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:40,440
- with the nets and tridents.
- Retiarius... my favorite gladiator.

108
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:41,880
- Gay lord.
- Okay.

109
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:46,160
Dean, how about you? What did you
put down for your top-five dream jobs?

110
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,520
Well, I only got four now.

111
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,160
Oh, well, that's because
you forgot super-scientist, boy.

112
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,520
No, I didn't.

113
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,880
Looks like you already have
the "absent-minded" part down

114
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,760
eh, Professor?

115
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,760
Okay. Now go upstairs
and get dressed, both of you.

116
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,320
We're looking at college
this afternoon.

117
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,960
I don't want to go to college!

118
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,880
- Hank, don't start.
- Okay, kids.

119
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,120
You think I could have
a moment alone with your dad?

120
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,080
Well, did you push State
like I asked you?

121
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,920
I hate to be the one
to break this to you, Rust

122
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,040
but your boys are pathetically
underprepared for adulthood.

123
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,840
Well, sure, Hank's
a bit of a late bloomer

124
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,400
but did you catch
Dean's little mustache?

125
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,040
- Really starting to come in.
- Yeah, regardless of the 'stache

126
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,240
neither of them knows
a thing about the real world.

127
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:28,760
What are you talking about?

128
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,160
Those kids have been around the globe
more times than Gaetan Dugas.

129
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,000
But the stuff those beds
have been teaching them

130
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,080
is more dated
than Funk & Wagnalls.

131
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,560
I mean, what college
do you think is gonna accept

132
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,400
transcripts from
a talking bed, anyway?

133
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,480
Especially since, if I'm
even reading them right

134
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,440
Hank didn't graduate.

135
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:46,960
"Hank!"

136
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,840
I'm not going to college.

137
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,800
Darn tootin', you're not, because
you're getting right back in that bed

138
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,560
- until you graduate, mister!
- No, father, I'm going to a place

139
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,480
where you
and your crummy bed

140
00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,880
- can't tell me what to do anymore.
- What is this?

141
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,440
What, are you
fake running away again?

142
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,320
Well, don't expect your brother
to sneak food out

143
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,480
to your tent in the backyard this time,
because he's going to college!

144
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,320
Well, bully for him,
because I'm joining the army.

145
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,800
Hot dog!
Best decision you'll ever make, son.

146
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,840
Why, I look back
on my time with...

147
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,720
Not that army,
Sergeant Butt-kiss.

148
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,480
Dean!
Are you dressed yet?

149
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:21,960
- Yeah.
- Oh.

150
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,960
Well, then...
then get in the car.

151
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,880
Wait.
Is that what you're wearing?

152
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,760
"Ah, manservant."

153
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,720
What has become of us?

154
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,080
A kingdom had I.

155
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,960
You got something
for a veteran?

156
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,560
Don't forget the veterans!

157
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,000
Do you have any change?

158
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,000
All right, you bums.
Move it along.

159
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,360
Aw, man.
Same old shit.

160
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,600
It's like Kent State
all over again, man!

161
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:50,360
Yeah, stick it to the man, my brother!
Hey, can I have his coat?

162
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:51,880
Oh, get a job.

163
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,440
Richard. Richard.

164
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,280
- Hello.
- "Sally?"

165
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,960
Afraid not, old boy.

166
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,480
I'd heard you'd lost your mind
and stopped working

167
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,720
but it looks like
you've been...busy.

168
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,320
D-D-Do you work for me?

169
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,640
I had something more along
the lines of a partnership in mind.

170
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,880
It's me, Richard.
It's Hamilton.

171
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,960
Don't come any further!
You're in the germ-free zone!

172
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,320
- Oh, pull yourself together, man!
- Hey!

173
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:26,280
I'm a hunted man, Richard and you're
in a unique position to help me.

174
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,720
No. No.

175
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,680
I can't help anybody.

176
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,640
I can't even help myself.

177
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,520
Then we'll help each other, like we
did back in our Boys' Brigade days.

178
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,000
You want to get
the Boys' Brigade back together?

179
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:42,080
Not exactly. I need you
to make another one of these.

180
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,560
You're... you're not you're not holding
there's... there's nothing there.

181
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,240
I don't... Oh, you've
got an invisible...

182
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,840
That's neat. You know,
Sally could turn...

183
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,200
- invisible.
- Oh, yes, yes.

184
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,320
I share your pain, old friend.

185
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,280
I, too, have suffered
terrible losses this year.

186
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,120
It nearly broke me, but instead,
it only strengthened my resolve.

187
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,800
Join me, and I can do
the same for you.

188
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:10,320
But... but you're all evil, though.
I can't be a bad guy.

189
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,360
Is it really such a stretch?

190
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,560
Thought you could hide from me,
eh, Professor Impossible?

191
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,400
- Who's this ass?
- Well, the nucleotide

192
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:25,200
has turned my elastic antagonist for
no one can escape the infectious grip

193
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,160
of the fiendish
Dr. Phineas Phage!

194
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,440
- Leave me alone!
- Oh, come on!

195
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,000
You've been sulking in there
for months.

196
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,240
- Enough is enough.
- The man said leave him be!

197
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,920
- Phantom Limb?
- Hey, you...

198
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,400
you can't arch Impossible.

199
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,800
I'm his... wait a minute.
You're supposed to be in...

200
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,920
I'm gonna tell the Guild!

201
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,040
If he gets away,
I'm done for, Richard.

202
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,360
- You must help me!
- How? What can I do?

203
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,200
Just hold on tight.

204
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,880
No! No!

205
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,480
Pro-teens, help me!

206
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,560
All right, Hamilton.
You've got yourself a partner.

207
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,120
Okay, fellas.
I'm all yours.

208
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,840
Where do I sign up?

209
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,040
Um, excuse me.

210
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,200
Who... who do I talk
to about enlisting?

211
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,680
Samson... Samson, you're
breaking up!

212
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,280
Repeat...
what is your 10-20?

213
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,320
"Sorry, I'm only getting
one bar down here."

214
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,880
We made it to the catacombs,
but rookie here tripped the alarm.

215
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,920
Would you get out
of there, man?

216
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,680
You don't know
what the hell you're doing!

217
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,440
"Where'd you recruit this clown,
anyways, The Albert Merrill School?"

218
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,320
He came highly recommended.
Supposed to be some kind of expert.

219
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,040
"In what? Poopy?"

220
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,160
Oh, crap. The Swiss guard is here.
I need an exit... quick!

221
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,600
I'm on it.

222
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,040
Uploading security pass-code
override now.

223
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,640
New recruit here.

224
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,280
Hello!

225
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,680
Samson? Samson!
What's happening?

226
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,200
Talk to me! Samson!
Way to go, Heidi!

227
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,000
Samson's down by 3 with
a minute to left in the game

228
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,480
and you just cut the feed!
What in God's name do you want?!

229
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,240
I want to join up with you guys.

230
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,040
Well, my boot wants
to join up with your ass

231
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,560
and I'm about to throw 'em
a shotgun wedding. Now beat it!

232
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:32,800
This ain't the honeycomb... hideout
and we ain't hiring Junior G-Men!

233
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,480
But I dare you to find
someone more qualified than me.

234
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,960
I've been training under Brock
my entire life.

235
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,160
I've traveled to every
continent on the globe

236
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,040
including Atlantis,
Outer Space, and Brigadoon.

237
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,680
I've been shot at, poisoned,
stabbed, cudgeled, crocodiled,

238
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,760
king cobra-ed, red-anted,
you name it.

239
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,520
I'm still standing.

240
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:54,280
Now, if that's not the resume of a
top-notch, super-killer secret agent

241
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,320
then I don't know what is.

242
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,840
All right. You win, kid.
Shoreleave!

243
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,280
Yo, ass... Oh, sorry.
It's an old habit.

244
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,320
Get Chachi here suited up.

245
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,160
Oh, this brings back memories.

246
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,920
Can I take this off yet?

247
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,200
After the interview.
They're gonna love your school spirit.

248
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,560
God, it's all just like
I remember it.

249
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,640
Except that thing.
That's new.

250
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,480
What's going on
over there?

251
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,680
It must be one of those
"take back the night" rallies.

252
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,520
Great place to meet chicks,
by the way.

253
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:31,960
Meow. Yeah, a little college
tip there for you from the old man.

254
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:37,920
So, in closing, "Bizzybee, Volume 6"
on Blu-ray and DVD, June 7th.

255
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,480
Thank you.

256
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,440
Yeah. So let's hear it
for Roy Brisby

257
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,400
and, all of our
corporate benefactors

258
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,680
The General Consolidated
Insurance Company

259
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,200
and, of course,
Professor Richard Impossible

260
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,360
who, unfortunately, couldn't
be with us here today.

261
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,040
Ah, Professor Impossible.
Hello!

262
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,680
What an unexpected delight.

263
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,000
When you didn't R.S.V.P.,
we assumed...

264
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,240
Oh, is... is it just you?
Your... lovely wife won't be joining us?

265
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,280
"Keep it together, Richard.
We've got work to do."

266
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,000
Sally and I are...
Say, could I get a mo'?

267
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,840
Long Impossi-Car ride
from the city.

268
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,120
Oh, yes, yes. Yes, of course.
The restrooms are...

269
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,840
- That's okay. I remember.
- Right there. Just...

270
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,560
- It's all clear. I'm in.
- "Yes, I can see that."

271
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,120
Ham gravy, what did you do
to my head?

272
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,880
You try cutting hair made of living
rubber with only one good arm

273
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,680
and an invisible one at that.

274
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,280
Okay. You go deliver your speech,
and we'll rendezvous back here in...

275
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,040
Are you coming?
What's wrong now?

276
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,320
Nothing. Thought I needed to poop,
but it was just you in there.

277
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,680
All right. You like it all squared off
in the back or au natural?

278
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,960
Can you shave
a Batman logo back there?

279
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,280
Well, as long as we're going
all 1989 with it

280
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,360
how 'bout a nice high-top fade
like Kid and/or Play?

281
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,880
Knock it off, Vidal Buffoon.
He's ready.

282
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,400
- I'm so ready. For what?
- Well, for your first test.

283
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,960
Yeah. This is it.
Good luck, son.

284
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,960
Now, maybe we can get some
goddamn work done around here.

285
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,400
Anyone heard from Samson yet?

286
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:13,840
And pass.
Piece of cake.

287
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,320
Like I haven't been tied up
a million times.

288
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,960
Come on.
Give me a hard one.

289
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,120
Yes, yes,
I see your confusion.

290
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,840
But, no, I'm afraid
it's my title, not my name.

291
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,880
You'll have to excuse me. As you can
see, it gets crazy this time of year

292
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,240
and I can't seem to find
your application.

293
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,440
Yeah, we didn't see the need
to burden you with more paperwork.

294
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,640
You... you have no application?

295
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,360
Well, the boy's a legacy admission
so this is just a formality, no?

296
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,000
It doesn't work that way.

297
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,600
- He still has to...
- Well, go ahead.

298
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,760
Ask him anything
you need to know.

299
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,000
So, where'd you go
to high school, young Dean?

300
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,880
- Oh, I was...
- The boy is homeschooled.

301
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,200
I have an electric grandpa bed
that talks to me while I sleep.

302
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,680
Did I mention he's a legacy?

303
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,560
I was here in the '80s.
You might want to look it up.

304
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,080
- Did you graduate?
- Well, not right away,

305
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,960
but I did receive
an honorary degree.

306
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,160
- Not from here.
- Well, no.

307
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,840
From a small, rather
exclusive, Tijuana...

308
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,760
Look, you and I both know
how this really works.

309
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,600
My father pumped a fortune
into this place back in the day

310
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,960
so why don't you let the boy in,
and we can call it squaresies?

311
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:55,360
Dr. Venture, while it's true your father
was rather generous to the university...

312
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,440
Generous?!
He donated an entire wing!

313
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,680
Which you blew up,
if I recall.

314
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,120
Allegedly.

315
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,360
And his estate paid for it
out of my inheritance.

316
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,600
So, really, it's like
I gave you the money.

317
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,040
Right.

318
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,520
Well, it was a pleasure
to meet you, Dean.

319
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,280
I wish you much success
with your future academic career...

320
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,200
- wherever it may be.
- That's it?

321
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,640
If you were gonna jerk us around
like this

322
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,120
then why the hell did you
even agree to see us?

323
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,560
- Honestly?
- That would be

324
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,360
- a nice change of pace.
- Because when my secretary

325
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,760
told me a "Dr. Venture"
was here to see me

326
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:24,840
I thought she meant your brother.

327
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:30,040
Hello.
You'll have to excuse me.

328
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,000
I haven't done any public
speaking in a while

329
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,440
and I...

330
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,760
"don't have anything prepared."

331
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,800
Richard, wrap it up and bring
the Impossi-Car around.

332
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,400
I found it.

333
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,360
Phantom Limb,
this has gone far enough.

334
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:02,880
Screw you!

335
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,720
Who died and made you
the high-and-mighty

336
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,160
floating head of
everything?

337
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,240
Actually, that would be
my predecessor, Force Majeure.

338
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,320
Well, you won't have Phantom Limb
to kick around anymore!

339
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,360
I'm starting my own damn guild.

340
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,080
With whom?
A coffee cup?

341
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,880
You're not well, Hamilton.

342
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,320
Give yourself up now,
and I'll call off my diamond dogs.

343
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,880
Never!

344
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,960
And, that's pretty much
when she walked out on me

345
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,600
- for good this time, and...
- Richard! Richard!

346
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,520
Stop glad-handing and help me,
damn you!

347
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:45,680
Oh, that's the last time I let you
partner me up with this clown.

348
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
- Never again, you.
- Don't worry.

349
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,640
We're... we're just just
training your new partner.

350
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,600
Oh, come on.
Not another rookie.

351
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,520
Nah, you'll like this one.

352
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,760
In fact, you've... you've worked
with him before.

353
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,720
Who?
Where is he?

354
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,480
What, in there?
That's the mind-erasing machine.

355
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,480
What he don't know
won't hurt him.

356
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,840
And what he don't know is gonna
be a whole hell of a lot in a minute.

357
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,600
Oh, Hank, Hank.
Buddy? You okay?

358
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,080
Oh, hey, Brock.

359
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,840
What'd you jackasses
do to him?

360
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,280
No, no.
It's okay, Brock.

361
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,320
It was all just part
of my secret-agent test.

362
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,760
What?

363
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,800
The old "mind-eraser
switcheroo" trap.

364
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,000
Easily evaded with the old
"tinfoil on the head" ruse.

365
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,720
So, I passed, right?

366
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,960
That must be the...

367
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,200
fireworks I arranged over...
there.

368
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,680
"Sweet land of liberty"

369
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,080
"of thee I sing"

370
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,960
"Land..."

371
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,720
It wasn't me this time.

372
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,080
"You can't be a spy with us."

373
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,200
Ah, back to the high
and tight, huh?

374
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,200
I feel like that Jewish guy
who lost all his powers

375
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,440
- when they cut his hair off.
- Samson?

376
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,560
Lenny Kravitz. It's not all
about you, you know?

377
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,960
Yeah, well, you look good,
like your old Hank self again

378
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,360
instead of always trying
to be like... well, me.

379
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,960
Geez.
Conceited much?

380
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,200
Look, you don't
want my life, Hank.

381
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,640
This job's not all
it's cracked up to be.

382
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,280
I've been at this for over 20 years,
and what do I have to show for it?

383
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,280
A metal plate in my chest

384
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,240
Vatican karate gorilla blood
on my hands

385
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,680
and a footlocker full
of "Manboro" miles.

386
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,480
- You got enough for the canoe?
- What?

387
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,280
Well, yeah, but will I ever live

388
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,920
- to see that canoe?
- Can I have 'em?

389
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,440
Look, you're missing
the point, Hank!

390
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,440
What I'm trying to tell you is...

391
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,760
even though you passed
that test down there...

392
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,640
Wait. Whoa. Wait.
I did?

393
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,800
Well, then, why did you...
why did they reject me?

394
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,720
Because if you want to join Sphinx,
you need a high-school diploma.

395
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,720
Oh!
You know about that?

396
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,640
Well, I wouldn't be a very good spy
if I didn't, now, would I?

397
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,440
Hey!

398
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,120
Did I mention that
you also have to be 18?

399
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,600
You've done it, Richard!

400
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,520
You've replicated
my original machine to a tee.

401
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,120
I'm whole again.

402
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,840
The name's not "Richard"
anymore, Hamilton.

403
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,760
From now on, I'm...

404
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,600
Professor Incorrigible!

405
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,720
Professor Indolent?

406
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,160
Professor Infamous?

407
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,440
Professor Indochina?
No?

408
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,880
- They're all a bit... forced.
- Professor Inscrutable?

409
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,280
Excuse me.

410
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,800
I want to join up with you guys.

411
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,040
Subtitled by: Image Production House