1
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,330
AUDIENCE: Charlie! Charlie!
Charlie! Charlie!
2
00:00:31,397 --> 00:00:36,726
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
3
00:01:02,008 --> 00:01:03,607
(CROWD ROARS)
4
00:01:03,706 --> 00:01:07,504
Thank you! Thank you very much!
5
00:01:07,571 --> 00:01:09,103
Thank you!
6
00:01:11,101 --> 00:01:13,267
How you all doing tonight?
7
00:01:21,294 --> 00:01:23,592
It's great to see all of you here.
8
00:01:25,691 --> 00:01:30,754
My name is Charlie Bartlett!
9
00:01:33,185 --> 00:01:37,649
AUDIENCE: Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
10
00:01:37,716 --> 00:01:39,947
STUDENT: Charlie. Charlie!
11
00:01:40,047 --> 00:01:41,279
Charlie!
12
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,511
Your mom's here.
13
00:01:45,643 --> 00:01:47,675
She's in the dean's office.
14
00:01:48,674 --> 00:01:51,839
Good luck, Charlie. Stay out of trouble.
15
00:01:52,505 --> 00:01:55,269
MARILYN: I'm not sure I understand.
Is it his grades?
16
00:01:55,936 --> 00:01:59,566
No, Mrs. Bartlett, it's not his grades
and it's not his attendance.
17
00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:03,897
Look, quite frankly, he is one of
our brightest boys here at school,
18
00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:05,762
albeit, unusual.
19
00:02:05,862 --> 00:02:09,126
Well, I'm just not sure
why he must be expelled, then.
20
00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:12,091
Well, this might shed some light.
21
00:02:15,089 --> 00:02:18,220
You're expelling him
for making a driver's license?
22
00:02:19,652 --> 00:02:22,517
He's been running a laminating press
from inside his dorm room,
23
00:02:22,617 --> 00:02:25,348
and he has been selling them
to the other students.
24
00:02:25,448 --> 00:02:27,713
You have to admit,
they look pretty authentic.
25
00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:32,310
Look, Mrs. Bartlett, to be honest,
I think he has a lot of potential.
26
00:02:32,377 --> 00:02:36,674
He's innovative, he's intelligent.
He's obviously highly motivated.
27
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,572
Perhaps this would be
a good time for an endowment.
28
00:02:39,672 --> 00:02:43,102
No. Mrs. Bartlett, what he did was illegal
29
00:02:43,169 --> 00:02:45,268
and we can't overlook that.
30
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:49,031
- Okay.
- Okay.
31
00:02:49,098 --> 00:02:50,863
- I understand.
- Good.
32
00:02:58,491 --> 00:02:59,857
Are you mad?
33
00:03:00,622 --> 00:03:02,221
You know, I'm not.
34
00:03:02,721 --> 00:03:06,818
I just can't fathom why you did it.
It's not like you needed the money.
35
00:03:06,885 --> 00:03:10,915
I mean, really, Charlie, what would
your father say if he were here?
36
00:03:13,713 --> 00:03:16,811
Mom, they were just starting
to appreciate me.
37
00:03:16,878 --> 00:03:19,509
You know, I was the guy
that everyone wanted to meet.
38
00:03:19,609 --> 00:03:23,273
Well, maybe there's more
to high school than being well liked.
39
00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:26,204
Like what, specifically?
40
00:03:27,737 --> 00:03:29,636
Nothing comes to mind.
41
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:35,531
I guess now we try you living at home
and going to public school.
42
00:03:35,997 --> 00:03:38,729
I even kept your room
exactly the way you left it.
43
00:03:38,829 --> 00:03:41,427
Hey, Mom, have you been feeding my fish?
44
00:03:41,893 --> 00:03:43,092
Oh, dear.
45
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:50,121
(LIVELY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
46
00:03:50,221 --> 00:03:53,518
Mom? I think I might take
the bus in tomorrow.
47
00:03:53,584 --> 00:03:56,382
Really? I was going to have
Thomas drive you.
48
00:03:56,449 --> 00:04:00,679
I know, but I don't think anybody else
is going to show up with a chauffeur.
49
00:04:01,679 --> 00:04:03,477
You're probably right.
50
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:06,842
- Have you taken your Klonopin today?
- I haven't.
51
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:10,406
- Where do you suppose I put that?
- Probably in your purse.
52
00:04:12,638 --> 00:04:16,468
There you are.
What would I do without you, Charlie?
53
00:04:21,199 --> 00:04:24,996
(SINGING) And we knew who we were then
54
00:04:25,062 --> 00:04:29,226
Girls were girls and men were men
55
00:04:29,259 --> 00:04:35,954
Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again
56
00:04:37,053 --> 00:04:41,217
Those were the days
57
00:04:45,714 --> 00:04:48,712
Well, it's wonderful
to have you back, Charlie.
58
00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:52,476
Thanks, Mom. I missed you, too.
59
00:05:08,365 --> 00:05:12,894
(ROCKMUSIC BLARING)
60
00:05:13,027 --> 00:05:15,560
Are you kidding me? Suzy Q!
61
00:05:16,092 --> 00:05:17,391
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
62
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:18,857
What? Come in.
63
00:05:19,756 --> 00:05:21,455
Hi. Volume. Thank you.
64
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,387
Hold on, The Principal is here.
What do you want, Dad?
65
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,618
Why do you call me The Principal
when you're talking to your friends?
66
00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:27,984
Pretending to have contempt for you
gives me a certain amount of cred,
67
00:05:28,051 --> 00:05:29,183
if you can understand that.
68
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,549
No, no, no.
69
00:05:30,615 --> 00:05:32,248
Okay, what do you want?
70
00:05:32,347 --> 00:05:34,579
- I wanna say hi.
- Hi.
71
00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,244
Fresh crack rock.
72
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:39,608
- God, it's called rock candy.
- That was a joke.
73
00:05:39,675 --> 00:05:42,440
I was eating it decades before
you were even conceived.
74
00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:43,739
I'll be in my office.
75
00:05:43,805 --> 00:05:45,071
- Love you.
- Love you. Bye.
76
00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:48,669
(DIALING)
77
00:05:49,135 --> 00:05:51,067
ANSWERING MACHINE:
You have two new messages.
78
00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:54,365
SEDGWICK: Nathan, I think it might be
a good idea if I'm there
79
00:05:54,432 --> 00:05:57,196
when you break the news
about installing cameras to the kids
80
00:05:57,263 --> 00:06:00,627
so the announcement is taken,
you know, seriously.
81
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:03,725
ANSWERING MACHINE: Next message.
WOMAN: Nathan, it's me.
82
00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:06,656
I'm wondering why Susan
hasn't been returning my calls.
83
00:06:06,756 --> 00:06:07,955
Is it of no consequence to you
84
00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:10,186
whether she has a relationship
with her mother, you fuck...
85
00:06:10,253 --> 00:06:11,252
(MACHINE BEEPS)
86
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:38,200
DRIVER: I think you got the wrong bus.
87
00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:39,999
Western Summit High School, right?
88
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:41,131
Okay.
89
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,519
Hi, I'm Charlie.
90
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,517
Hi, Charlie. I'm Len.
91
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,848
Good to meet you, Len.
92
00:07:03,948 --> 00:07:06,146
It's good to meet you, Charlie.
93
00:07:10,443 --> 00:07:11,409
Thank you.
94
00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:22,534
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
95
00:07:22,601 --> 00:07:23,833
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
96
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,599
Nice tie, homie.
97
00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:30,562
Killer roach, bro.
98
00:07:30,628 --> 00:07:32,761
Move out of the way! Get out!
99
00:07:34,126 --> 00:07:36,791
(BELL RINGING)
100
00:07:47,883 --> 00:07:51,913
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
101
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:56,077
Just make sure you cause trouble
when it's necessary
102
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:58,742
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
103
00:07:58,808 --> 00:08:01,206
They didn't give you a locker
in the teachers' lounge?
104
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,172
Oh, I'm not a teacher.
105
00:08:03,605 --> 00:08:05,870
You sure look like a teacher.
106
00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:09,301
Okay, everyone, last chance to sign up.
The auditions are today
107
00:08:09,368 --> 00:08:12,365
and will be held at 4:00
and everybody's welcome.
108
00:08:12,465 --> 00:08:15,263
Yeah. And for everyone who doesn't know,
this year we're doing Henry V.
109
00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:19,061
SUSAN: And it's Shakespeare, so feel free
to read for a role of the opposite sex.
110
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,524
See you at 4:00, professor.
111
00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:28,054
Dense fucking nug, man.
112
00:08:28,387 --> 00:08:30,286
Shit, why are you looking at it like that?
You're gonna buy it.
113
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,317
You've done every other time.
Just fucking buy it.
114
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:36,048
Hi, I'm Charlie.
115
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,744
What's that? Is that a briefcase?
116
00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:46,074
Actually, I believe it's an attaché case.
117
00:08:46,574 --> 00:08:48,506
What's that thing on your jacket mean?
118
00:08:48,539 --> 00:08:49,739
Oh, this?
119
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:53,469
Cor ad cor loquitur. It's in Latin.
120
00:08:54,402 --> 00:08:55,701
I think the translation is,
121
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:58,499
"Heart speaks to heart,"
but I may be wrong.
122
00:08:58,999 --> 00:09:01,797
Is he, like, a total faggot or what? Shut up.
123
00:09:03,196 --> 00:09:06,194
Is that a rhetorical question?
124
00:09:10,257 --> 00:09:11,323
Guess not.
125
00:09:12,589 --> 00:09:13,921
Fuck him up!
126
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,087
Fuck, yeah!
127
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,452
(GURGLING)
128
00:09:17,885 --> 00:09:19,584
Guess what?
I think you like that, you little bitch.
129
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,948
How do you like that, you little bitch?
130
00:09:22,048 --> 00:09:22,982
(GRUNTING)
131
00:09:23,082 --> 00:09:25,180
GARDNER: No smokes! Cigarettes out!
132
00:09:26,079 --> 00:09:27,844
(COUGHING)
133
00:09:30,442 --> 00:09:32,041
What have we here?
134
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,906
Nothing. We're just messing around.
135
00:09:34,939 --> 00:09:37,105
Mr. Bivens, Mr...
136
00:09:37,871 --> 00:09:40,569
You, get to class. Now. Let's go.
137
00:09:40,669 --> 00:09:41,968
(WHISPERING) Later, homo.
138
00:09:51,427 --> 00:09:52,893
You okay?
139
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,025
Yeah.
140
00:09:56,923 --> 00:09:59,888
I'm so sick of my parents.
Like, honestly, I'm 17.
141
00:09:59,955 --> 00:10:03,519
I don't see what the big deal is.
I mean, it's just a hole.
142
00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:05,817
I mean, what does my mom care
how many times I get my ears pierced?
143
00:10:05,884 --> 00:10:07,050
The squad doesn't care.
144
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:09,281
Whitney, I think you should get
your na-na pierced.
145
00:10:09,314 --> 00:10:11,247
That's gross, you 'tard.
146
00:10:11,313 --> 00:10:12,646
(ALL LAUGHING)
147
00:10:17,143 --> 00:10:18,708
Hi, I'm Charlie.
148
00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:22,339
Come on.
149
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,427
- Hi, Charlie.
- Hey, Len.
150
00:10:41,825 --> 00:10:43,857
Len, you want to join me?
151
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:45,588
Thank you, Charlie.
152
00:10:48,853 --> 00:10:51,851
I got peas and carrots.
153
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,216
- CHARLIE: I love peas and carrots.
- Me, too.
154
00:10:55,615 --> 00:10:56,680
(HUMMING)
155
00:10:57,114 --> 00:11:01,344
When, Caius, Rome is thine,
thou art poorest of all,
156
00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:04,908
then shortly art thou mine.
157
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,839
And scene.
158
00:11:09,605 --> 00:11:11,304
Thank you. That was stunning.
159
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:12,469
(GIGGLES)
160
00:11:13,468 --> 00:11:15,034
Charlie Bartlett.
161
00:11:18,798 --> 00:11:22,229
So, which one of Shakespeare's works
will you be performing for us?
162
00:11:22,296 --> 00:11:26,226
Actually, I thought I'd do a monologue
from Cordiroy Seville's masterpiece,
163
00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:28,691
Misadventures of a Teenage Renegade.
164
00:11:29,391 --> 00:11:30,790
(CLEARS THROAT)
165
00:11:36,286 --> 00:11:37,851
(IMITATING GIRL'S VOICE)
I guess I should tell you
166
00:11:37,885 --> 00:11:40,049
about the first time I had my period.
167
00:11:41,182 --> 00:11:43,781
My daddy was driving me back
from summer camp
168
00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:45,612
and I turned to him and I said,
169
00:11:45,645 --> 00:11:49,110
"Daddy, I think I'm sloughing."
170
00:11:49,177 --> 00:11:51,875
And he said, "That's nice, honey."
171
00:11:52,674 --> 00:11:55,772
And I realized that he had,
172
00:11:55,838 --> 00:12:00,668
like, no idea just what "sloughing" meant.
173
00:12:01,168 --> 00:12:04,099
So I explained to him that it meant
174
00:12:04,199 --> 00:12:09,062
blood was gushing
from my you-know-where.
175
00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:12,260
And he nearly wrecked the car
176
00:12:12,293 --> 00:12:15,058
trying to hand me
a wad of fast-food napkins,
177
00:12:15,158 --> 00:12:16,623
which is not something that you
178
00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:19,655
particularly want to stick up your hooch.
179
00:12:24,451 --> 00:12:26,016
Great. Thank you.
180
00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,149
I wasn't quite finished, actually.
181
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,080
No. That'll do. Thank you, Charlie.
182
00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,246
(STIFLING LAUGHTER)
183
00:12:36,742 --> 00:12:37,675
(GROANS)
184
00:12:37,775 --> 00:12:40,040
I'm gonna fuck you up.
185
00:12:40,073 --> 00:12:41,739
- You getting this?
- Yeah. I'm getting it.
186
00:12:41,805 --> 00:12:43,071
(GRUNTS)
187
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,969
- Yeah! Fuck him up, Murph!
- How does that feel?
188
00:12:46,036 --> 00:12:48,534
I don't care. You know why?
Because that was a rhetorical question.
189
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,599
(GROANING)
190
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:53,031
Hey, Charlie, what's Latin for,
"I'm a total pussy"?
191
00:12:53,131 --> 00:12:54,929
Let's get out of here.
192
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,790
- MARILYN: Charlie, how'd it go?
- Stellar.
193
00:13:02,257 --> 00:13:04,189
Did you make any friends?
194
00:13:04,323 --> 00:13:05,755
(SIGHING)
195
00:13:08,386 --> 00:13:11,184
Okay, you can forget about
school tomorrow.
196
00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:13,249
I'm calling Dr. Weathers.
197
00:13:13,849 --> 00:13:18,612
Now, your mom tells me that you've been
getting into scrapes with the other boys.
198
00:13:19,378 --> 00:13:20,611
That's the best euphemism
199
00:13:20,677 --> 00:13:23,475
for getting the living crap
kicked out of you that I've ever heard.
200
00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:26,673
And why do you suppose
that you're being picked on?
201
00:13:27,572 --> 00:13:30,237
I don't know. I'm abnormal, I guess.
202
00:13:30,337 --> 00:13:32,136
You don't feel normal?
203
00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:36,732
My family has a psychiatrist on call.
How normal can that be?
204
00:13:38,131 --> 00:13:39,863
How are your classes?
205
00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:41,529
They're all right.
206
00:13:41,596 --> 00:13:44,260
I mean, I have trouble
concentrating sometimes.
207
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,592
And what is it that you think about?
208
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:49,956
I kind of have this one fantasy.
209
00:13:50,023 --> 00:13:51,422
Sexual?
210
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,954
No, not really.
211
00:13:54,952 --> 00:13:57,817
It's just this fantasy of me
stepping out on stage,
212
00:13:57,917 --> 00:14:00,116
and there are all these kids
out in the audience
213
00:14:00,149 --> 00:14:03,980
chanting my name,
like I'm a rock star, you know.
214
00:14:04,046 --> 00:14:07,011
And so, I step up to the mike and I say,
215
00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:09,409
"How you all doing tonight?"
216
00:14:09,442 --> 00:14:11,540
And then they start cheering and cheering.
217
00:14:11,607 --> 00:14:14,205
"It's great to see all of you.
I'm Charlie Bartlett.
218
00:14:14,305 --> 00:14:17,103
"And if there's one thing
I want you to walk away with tonight,
219
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:19,968
"it's that the sky is the limit.
220
00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:23,132
"So, for those of you with troubles,
for those of you feeling scared,
221
00:14:23,199 --> 00:14:25,198
"or confused or angry,
222
00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:28,728
"remember, you are not alone."
223
00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:30,627
And then they go nuts again.
224
00:14:30,694 --> 00:14:31,760
(PEN SCRATCHING)
225
00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:42,952
Charlie, how are you feeling
about your father these days?
226
00:14:43,018 --> 00:14:45,116
Are you angry that he's gone?
227
00:14:48,681 --> 00:14:51,079
- Gas prices.
- Excuse me?
228
00:14:51,579 --> 00:14:54,876
I also worry a lot in class
about rising gas prices.
229
00:14:58,374 --> 00:15:02,071
Charlie, I'm going to write you
a prescription for Ritalin,
230
00:15:02,138 --> 00:15:05,036
and what I'd like you to do
is start taking the low dose
231
00:15:05,136 --> 00:15:07,600
and if after a few days
you feel no side effects,
232
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:11,231
then I would like to see
you start taking a higher dose.
233
00:15:11,331 --> 00:15:13,163
So you think I have ADD, or...
234
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:17,327
We won't know that until the Ritalin
helps this concentration problem.
235
00:15:18,027 --> 00:15:21,890
You mean, if I take the medicine
and it helps me concentrate,
236
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,888
we'll know I have ADD?
237
00:15:23,955 --> 00:15:25,387
That's the idea.
238
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,346
Welcome back, professor.
239
00:15:37,413 --> 00:15:39,144
- Fuck you.
- Yeah. Fuck you.
240
00:15:40,576 --> 00:15:45,373
Can anyone tell me why Mercury
has only one day per year?
241
00:15:45,573 --> 00:15:49,204
HENRY: Because Mercury is the only planet
that does not rotate on its axis.
242
00:16:24,479 --> 00:16:25,478
(TAPS MICROPHONE)
243
00:16:25,544 --> 00:16:27,277
Hello. Good morning.
244
00:16:28,142 --> 00:16:30,674
The word of the day is "gratitude."
245
00:16:31,107 --> 00:16:33,305
"Gratitude: The quality of being thankful,
246
00:16:33,338 --> 00:16:36,336
"readiness to show appreciation for
and return kindness. "
247
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,834
As in, if you would all sit down
and shut up,
248
00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:43,365
I am prepared to express my gratitude.
Thank you.
249
00:16:43,931 --> 00:16:45,097
A lot on the agenda today.
250
00:16:45,164 --> 00:16:48,062
Our superintendent, Mr. Sedgwick,
is paying us a visit,
251
00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:50,693
so for my sake,
let's be on our best behavior.
252
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,092
(STUDENTS GUFFAWING)
253
00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:55,323
First off, the student lounge will be
closed Monday,
254
00:16:55,357 --> 00:16:57,288
while we install security cameras.
255
00:16:57,355 --> 00:17:00,286
(BOOING)
256
00:17:01,485 --> 00:17:02,717
Yes.
257
00:17:02,751 --> 00:17:04,683
How can you do that?
That's, like, invasion of privacy.
258
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:05,849
(STUDENTS SHOUTING AGREEMENT)
259
00:17:05,915 --> 00:17:07,414
There's a liability issue,
260
00:17:07,481 --> 00:17:10,012
and I'm afraid the board
has already passed the motion.
261
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:13,110
Anyway, I would now like
to give Mr. Sedgwick the floor
262
00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:14,676
to discuss our cell phone policy.
263
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:19,372
But the student lounge is the only place
we can hang out without teachers.
264
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,270
Are there cameras in the teachers' lounge?
265
00:17:22,337 --> 00:17:23,769
(ALL LAUGHING)
266
00:17:24,702 --> 00:17:25,668
Hang out?
267
00:17:25,735 --> 00:17:29,498
Okay, we've already moved on
to the cell phone policy.
268
00:17:29,565 --> 00:17:32,030
There will be ample opportunity
to discuss that later, but right now...
269
00:17:32,096 --> 00:17:33,829
This is total and absolute bullshit!
270
00:17:33,895 --> 00:17:34,894
Come on.
271
00:17:34,961 --> 00:17:35,960
(STUDENTS SHOUTING AGREEMENT)
272
00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:37,559
Right. Right.
273
00:17:37,726 --> 00:17:40,025
You know, you kids really need to
find appropriate ways
274
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,623
to express your ingratitude.
275
00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:44,088
Mr. Sedgwick?
276
00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:47,652
The...
277
00:17:47,719 --> 00:17:48,651
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
278
00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:49,850
(SNICKERING)
279
00:17:50,883 --> 00:17:52,815
GARDNER: Come on, guys, it's nothing.
It's just a fire drill.
280
00:17:52,881 --> 00:17:55,713
Proceed outside in an orderly fashion.
281
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:58,145
Let's not have a stampede.
282
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,110
They don't have much
respect for you, do they?
283
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:03,474
In case you haven't noticed,
they're not too fond of you, either.
284
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,039
I said respect, Nathan, not affection.
285
00:18:06,072 --> 00:18:08,937
We're not trying to win
a popularity contest.
286
00:18:25,325 --> 00:18:27,224
(GRUNTING)
287
00:19:05,296 --> 00:19:06,695
(LOW PIANO CHORD RINGING)
288
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:10,493
I'm really looking forward to us
having the weekend alone.
289
00:19:10,992 --> 00:19:13,857
I thought maybe we could go
to a wine tasting.
290
00:19:14,789 --> 00:19:17,520
We haven't done that since you were a kid.
291
00:19:18,887 --> 00:19:20,585
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
292
00:19:23,516 --> 00:19:25,849
- You haven't touched your food.
- I'm not hungry, Mom.
293
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,979
I'm studying the osmosis of water
through the epidermis.
294
00:19:29,012 --> 00:19:32,909
Now, I cooked a perfectly edible meal,
Charlie Bartlett.
295
00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:37,240
I'm feeling a little under-appreciated
at the moment.
296
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:41,503
And I think it's very important
that you try to at least eat your greens.
297
00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:44,901
Dear, didn't Dr. Weathers
say something yesterday about fluid?
298
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:46,467
What did he say about...
299
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,665
(CONTINUES CHATTERING)
300
00:19:53,961 --> 00:19:55,460
Are you listening to me?
301
00:19:56,659 --> 00:19:59,025
Hello!
302
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:04,621
Can anybody up there hear me?
303
00:20:06,952 --> 00:20:08,684
(PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)
304
00:20:08,784 --> 00:20:10,816
(SCATTING SOFTLY)
305
00:20:18,544 --> 00:20:20,742
(PANTING)
306
00:20:31,002 --> 00:20:31,967
(PLAYING PIANO)
307
00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:55,617
(TICKING)
308
00:20:59,181 --> 00:21:02,312
(SCATTING ENERGETICALLY)
309
00:21:04,444 --> 00:21:06,809
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
310
00:21:08,408 --> 00:21:10,839
Charlie, is that you?
311
00:21:10,906 --> 00:21:15,570
(YELLING GIBBERISH)
312
00:21:16,202 --> 00:21:19,833
Wake up, you sleepyheads, wake up!
313
00:21:24,363 --> 00:21:28,360
Wake up! Wake up!
My name is Charlie Bartlett,
314
00:21:28,426 --> 00:21:30,459
and I am not alone!
315
00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:31,524
(SIRENS BLARING)
316
00:21:32,823 --> 00:21:35,955
Now, there's no history of drug use
whatsoever, Mrs...
317
00:21:37,054 --> 00:21:40,218
It's Marilyn.
Please, no need to be formal here.
318
00:21:40,318 --> 00:21:43,016
And drug use? No, none at all.
319
00:21:44,415 --> 00:21:47,180
Well, it looks like he's coming down some.
320
00:21:48,412 --> 00:21:51,810
I'm not an MD, but it is possible
for Ritalin to get you pretty high.
321
00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:54,175
That's probably what it is.
It is a new medication.
322
00:21:54,242 --> 00:21:58,739
(SINGING) It is a new medication
New medication
323
00:21:58,805 --> 00:22:01,769
New medication
324
00:22:04,734 --> 00:22:06,166
Charlie, dear.
325
00:22:09,397 --> 00:22:12,795
Yeah, as I was saying, a lot of the kids
at the colleges are taking this stuff.
326
00:22:12,894 --> 00:22:16,426
When I was in college,
we were dropping tabs of acid.
327
00:22:16,826 --> 00:22:19,324
OFFICER: I've never partaken in
any illicit drugs myself.
328
00:22:22,621 --> 00:22:23,921
Maybe...
329
00:22:24,586 --> 00:22:26,419
Maybe you got slapped around
too many times
330
00:22:26,519 --> 00:22:28,883
for lunch money on your way to the bus.
331
00:22:28,950 --> 00:22:31,381
Maybe your pop's got a boozing... No.
332
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,079
Maybe your pop...
333
00:22:34,879 --> 00:22:37,811
Maybe your pop's gotta
booze himself up every morning.
334
00:22:37,877 --> 00:22:41,008
(IMITATING FRENCH ACCENT)
Maybe your father has to, how do you say,
335
00:22:41,874 --> 00:22:43,373
plow roads with a sense of humor.
336
00:22:43,472 --> 00:22:45,205
I mean, he has to booze himself up.
337
00:22:45,305 --> 00:22:47,004
With a sense of humor.
338
00:22:47,604 --> 00:22:48,569
(IMITATES LAUGHTER)
339
00:22:54,399 --> 00:22:56,463
- Morning.
- Good morning.
340
00:22:56,530 --> 00:22:57,729
- GIRL: Hey, Charlie.
- Hey.
341
00:22:57,796 --> 00:22:59,761
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, guys.
342
00:22:59,861 --> 00:23:01,893
- Hey, Len.
- Hey, Charlie.
343
00:23:03,525 --> 00:23:07,389
Len, do you feel like making 50 bucks
after school today?
344
00:23:07,489 --> 00:23:08,754
Fifty bucks.
345
00:23:21,079 --> 00:23:22,112
(TIRES SQUEALING)
346
00:23:22,179 --> 00:23:23,778
Hey!
347
00:23:24,910 --> 00:23:26,276
What the hell is this?
348
00:23:26,342 --> 00:23:29,773
- Charlie wants to talk to you.
- Suck this, mongoloid.
349
00:23:30,439 --> 00:23:32,337
Get the hell off me! Fuck!
350
00:23:33,770 --> 00:23:35,202
(GRUNTING)
351
00:23:36,202 --> 00:23:37,401
Hi, Murphy. How are you?
352
00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:38,967
You must have a fucking death wish!
353
00:23:39,067 --> 00:23:41,565
Charlie says you gotta be nice.
354
00:23:41,665 --> 00:23:45,195
Look, Murph, I think we got started off
on the wrong foot.
355
00:23:45,295 --> 00:23:47,726
- I want to work things out.
- I'm gonna put you in the fucking hospital.
356
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,760
(GROANS)
357
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:49,992
- Len.
- Fuck.
358
00:23:50,924 --> 00:23:52,090
Len.
359
00:23:56,554 --> 00:24:01,151
Listen, Murph, I've had a lot of time
to think about what you did to me.
360
00:24:01,251 --> 00:24:03,882
Yeah? What did you come up with, genius?
361
00:24:03,949 --> 00:24:05,580
I think you're angry, man.
362
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,146
What have I got to be angry about?
363
00:24:11,443 --> 00:24:13,308
Maybe you got slapped around
one too many times
364
00:24:13,342 --> 00:24:15,740
for lunch money on your way to the bus.
365
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,039
Maybe your pop's gotta
booze himself up every morning
366
00:24:18,104 --> 00:24:20,337
so he can plow roads
with a sense of humor.
367
00:24:20,437 --> 00:24:22,468
Then when he gets home, you're just
368
00:24:22,501 --> 00:24:25,499
a distant third to Sloppy Joes
and a bad sitcom.
369
00:24:26,166 --> 00:24:29,496
Maybe the cheerleaders call you
a scumbag behind your back.
370
00:24:29,896 --> 00:24:32,428
Maybe it's because the school's
got you placed on the remedial track
371
00:24:32,494 --> 00:24:36,491
and your teachers are really good
at making you feel like an idiot.
372
00:24:40,722 --> 00:24:43,087
Maybe it's none of these things.
373
00:24:43,953 --> 00:24:46,318
Maybe it's all of them.
374
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:54,878
- What do you want from me?
- I wanna be your friend, Murphy.
375
00:24:57,643 --> 00:25:00,241
Okay, maybe you're not a total tool,
376
00:25:00,274 --> 00:25:04,006
but guys like you and guys like me
can't be friends.
377
00:25:04,405 --> 00:25:07,136
- Why's that?
- I take the train tracks home.
378
00:25:07,703 --> 00:25:11,100
- You drive around in a limo.
- I guess you're right.
379
00:25:12,066 --> 00:25:15,597
Look, I got 90 pills of Ritalin
that we could sell at the dance.
380
00:25:15,663 --> 00:25:19,295
Maybe we're just gonna have to
settle for being business partners.
381
00:25:19,394 --> 00:25:20,394
What do these do?
382
00:25:20,460 --> 00:25:23,524
Floods the brain
with norepinephrine and dopamine.
383
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:26,123
It gets you high.
384
00:25:27,055 --> 00:25:28,488
So, I figure $10 a pill, right?
385
00:25:28,588 --> 00:25:29,620
We split the profit,
386
00:25:29,687 --> 00:25:33,484
which means you make almost 500 bucks
without spending a nickel.
387
00:25:39,180 --> 00:25:41,045
Business partners, huh?
388
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:46,041
SUSAN: So, 1:00, right?
389
00:25:46,108 --> 00:25:48,040
What? What happens at 1:00?
390
00:25:48,107 --> 00:25:50,938
- My curfew, at 1:00.
- Where are you going?
391
00:25:51,038 --> 00:25:54,702
The dance, Dad. I'm going to the dance.
I told you last week.
392
00:25:55,335 --> 00:25:57,633
- Have you given up your singing?
- No. Why?
393
00:25:57,700 --> 00:26:00,298
I don't know, just...
You've got a great voice.
394
00:26:00,398 --> 00:26:02,097
I used to love coming home
to hear you singing in the other room.
395
00:26:02,130 --> 00:26:03,129
(PHONE BUZZING)
396
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,894
That's how I knew
you were happy, I guess.
397
00:26:07,460 --> 00:26:10,458
Happily texting,
ignoring this intimate exchange.
398
00:26:10,491 --> 00:26:12,689
Who's that? Who are you texting?
399
00:26:12,789 --> 00:26:14,421
Rodine's outside.
400
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:17,253
Have fun.
401
00:26:17,319 --> 00:26:20,683
- I will. So, 2:00, right?
- Nice try.
402
00:26:20,783 --> 00:26:24,114
God, I liked you better
when you were a history teacher.
403
00:26:24,181 --> 00:26:25,913
That makes two of us.
404
00:26:28,211 --> 00:26:31,043
- I'll see you guys in a minute.
- Okay.
405
00:26:31,109 --> 00:26:33,841
- Hey, Susan.
- Hey.
406
00:26:35,073 --> 00:26:38,438
So, you think there's any chance
of a dance tonight, or...
407
00:26:38,703 --> 00:26:40,037
(CHUCKLES)
408
00:26:40,069 --> 00:26:43,567
I'd say there's a distinct possibility,
Charlie Bartlett.
409
00:26:48,364 --> 00:26:49,363
Hey.
410
00:26:50,595 --> 00:26:53,593
- So, how did we do?
- Well, it's gone.
411
00:26:54,159 --> 00:26:56,790
- Gone?
- All of it. Every last pill.
412
00:26:57,590 --> 00:26:58,856
It's gone.
413
00:26:59,389 --> 00:27:00,788
- Well, shit.
- Yeah.
414
00:27:01,221 --> 00:27:04,385
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
415
00:27:05,284 --> 00:27:07,050
Superman!
416
00:27:07,150 --> 00:27:09,648
Eighty-eight miles per hour!
417
00:27:14,445 --> 00:27:18,242
(UPBEA TMUSIC BLARING)
418
00:27:18,342 --> 00:27:19,641
Fucking A!
419
00:27:31,765 --> 00:27:33,131
(HONKING)
420
00:27:40,293 --> 00:27:42,425
Hey, Charlie. What's up, man?
421
00:27:43,257 --> 00:27:47,288
God damn right, it's a beautiful day
Uh-huh
422
00:27:47,421 --> 00:27:51,451
God damn right, it's a beautiful day
Uh-huh
423
00:27:51,818 --> 00:27:53,084
Hey, man.
424
00:27:54,749 --> 00:27:56,015
Uh-huh
425
00:27:59,479 --> 00:28:03,443
God damn right, it's a beautiful day
Uh-huh
426
00:28:13,802 --> 00:28:15,401
(FOCUSING)
427
00:28:26,326 --> 00:28:28,559
(ALL PROTESTING)
428
00:28:30,023 --> 00:28:32,456
- This sucks.
- Seriously sucks.
429
00:28:46,046 --> 00:28:47,378
Thank you.
430
00:28:48,045 --> 00:28:49,576
Charlie, you want to sign this petition?
431
00:28:49,643 --> 00:28:51,342
It's to get the security cameras
out of our student lounge.
432
00:28:51,408 --> 00:28:52,807
Oh, absolutely.
433
00:28:53,641 --> 00:28:55,639
- It's right here.
- All right.
434
00:28:55,939 --> 00:28:56,971
- Thanks.
- No problem.
435
00:28:57,038 --> 00:28:58,303
See you later, Charlie.
436
00:28:58,370 --> 00:29:00,536
- Hey, girls. You gonna sign this?
- GIRL: Yeah.
437
00:29:00,569 --> 00:29:04,233
(HUMMING)
438
00:29:05,398 --> 00:29:06,364
Hi.
439
00:29:09,729 --> 00:29:11,893
- You're Charlie Bartlett, right?
- Yeah.
440
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,026
I'm Kip. Kip Crombwell.
441
00:29:14,991 --> 00:29:16,790
Nice to meet you, Kip.
442
00:29:18,623 --> 00:29:19,722
Yeah.
443
00:29:20,787 --> 00:29:25,118
Do you think there's any way
that we could maybe talk in private?
444
00:29:28,481 --> 00:29:29,515
Sure.
445
00:29:30,214 --> 00:29:33,578
HENRY: Everyone, come on, this petition
gets those cameras out of our lounge.
446
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:38,941
So, what's up?
447
00:29:41,539 --> 00:29:44,570
Is it true that you can get a hold
of medication?
448
00:29:45,403 --> 00:29:47,735
Yeah, I guess. Why? What's going on?
449
00:29:51,132 --> 00:29:53,431
I'm, like, totally depressed.
450
00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:56,928
I've been having these spells,
and trouble breathing,
451
00:29:56,995 --> 00:29:58,527
mostly in class.
452
00:30:00,293 --> 00:30:02,124
What does it feel like?
453
00:30:02,491 --> 00:30:04,590
It feels like a heart attack.
454
00:30:05,822 --> 00:30:08,886
But I'm thinking, you know,
it's probably mental.
455
00:30:10,818 --> 00:30:11,884
And I can't go to my parents about it,
456
00:30:11,917 --> 00:30:14,515
because they already think I'm a freak,
so I just thought that you...
457
00:30:14,582 --> 00:30:17,114
Look, I'm not a doctor, but...
458
00:30:17,980 --> 00:30:20,578
I don't know if Ritalin's gonna help you.
459
00:30:21,343 --> 00:30:23,342
Do you know what would?
460
00:30:23,409 --> 00:30:24,808
I'm not sure.
461
00:30:28,338 --> 00:30:30,271
But I'm gonna find out.
462
00:30:30,737 --> 00:30:33,135
I'm gonna work this out, I promise.
463
00:30:34,101 --> 00:30:35,168
Yeah.
464
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,766
Thanks.
465
00:31:03,048 --> 00:31:07,877
I get short of breath and dizzy,
you know, nausea, blurred vision.
466
00:31:07,944 --> 00:31:10,942
I mean, sometimes it feels like
a heart attack.
467
00:31:11,042 --> 00:31:13,306
Yeah, we call that a panic attack.
468
00:31:13,373 --> 00:31:15,072
Oh, is that what they call it?
469
00:31:15,105 --> 00:31:16,438
Well, what can we do?
470
00:31:16,504 --> 00:31:20,735
Well, I think maybe
I'll put you on a low dose of
471
00:31:20,835 --> 00:31:23,499
Xanax and Zoloft.
472
00:31:26,364 --> 00:31:29,728
Okay, so, here's the thing.
In everything that I've read,
473
00:31:29,828 --> 00:31:33,559
there's not one case of anyone dying
of a panic attack.
474
00:31:34,525 --> 00:31:36,889
- No?
- No. Not one.
475
00:31:36,956 --> 00:31:40,653
So the next time you start to feel anxious,
you just tell yourself,
476
00:31:40,686 --> 00:31:44,751
"Hey, I'm having a panic attack.
I'm not gonna die.
477
00:31:44,850 --> 00:31:48,381
"In fact, in 15 minutes,
I'll probably feel fine."
478
00:31:51,079 --> 00:31:52,712
What do I do until then?
479
00:31:53,277 --> 00:31:55,510
CHARLIE: Murph, start him on
50 milligrams of Zoloft
480
00:31:55,576 --> 00:31:58,508
and half a milligram of Xanax as needed.
481
00:32:01,072 --> 00:32:03,270
Here, Kip, this should provide you
with some relief
482
00:32:03,304 --> 00:32:05,636
and we'll just meet next week,
same time, same place, okay?
483
00:32:05,702 --> 00:32:06,768
(BELL RINGING)
484
00:32:06,868 --> 00:32:09,566
- Thank you, Charlie.
- No problem. Be nice, Murphy.
485
00:32:24,055 --> 00:32:26,820
Charlie, I spoke to Dr. Weathers today.
486
00:32:26,887 --> 00:32:29,551
He said you may have not only ADD,
487
00:32:30,251 --> 00:32:33,516
but a whole battery
of psychological disorders
488
00:32:33,548 --> 00:32:36,114
that will likely plague you for life.
489
00:32:36,247 --> 00:32:37,313
(SCOFFS)
490
00:32:37,646 --> 00:32:39,478
Sounds a bit melodramatic,
don't you think?
491
00:32:39,511 --> 00:32:41,043
That's what I said.
492
00:32:41,110 --> 00:32:45,074
Then he went on to imply that
you may have inherited it from me.
493
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,638
I was rather perturbed.
494
00:32:47,672 --> 00:32:50,870
I mean, look at me.
I'm as fit as a fucking fiddle.
495
00:32:52,335 --> 00:32:54,201
Can't argue with that.
496
00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:57,665
Are you making any friends at all?
497
00:32:59,130 --> 00:33:00,629
Working on it.
498
00:33:03,661 --> 00:33:05,992
He says he doesn't want to see me.
499
00:33:06,059 --> 00:33:08,058
I can't stop crying.
500
00:33:08,091 --> 00:33:12,587
Well, sometimes people say one thing
and they really mean another, like...
501
00:33:12,654 --> 00:33:15,785
He called me a loser,
and last night he hit my mom.
502
00:33:16,618 --> 00:33:20,015
You have to understand that
what he's doing isn't because of you.
503
00:33:20,082 --> 00:33:22,048
He hates his life so much that...
504
00:33:22,114 --> 00:33:25,778
All I wanna do is drop acid.
I just can't handle this place.
505
00:33:26,877 --> 00:33:29,009
Duh, dude. This place sucks.
506
00:33:29,375 --> 00:33:31,607
But I just worry that one day
we're gonna look back at high school
507
00:33:31,674 --> 00:33:33,705
and wish we'd done something different.
508
00:33:33,805 --> 00:33:34,804
So maybe you should...
509
00:33:34,871 --> 00:33:35,904
Get breast implants.
510
00:33:36,004 --> 00:33:37,836
I mean, a lot of my friends
are getting them.
511
00:33:37,902 --> 00:33:40,235
Well, that's up to you,
but speaking as a guy,
512
00:33:40,268 --> 00:33:42,799
it's kind of a turnoff when a girl
isn't cool with being herself.
513
00:33:43,298 --> 00:33:45,097
I'm not saying that I'm gay.
514
00:33:45,631 --> 00:33:48,694
So what if, you know,
I'm not attracted to girls?
515
00:33:49,161 --> 00:33:51,227
You know, this sucks, man.
516
00:33:51,293 --> 00:33:54,058
Well, at least you're attracted
to somebody.
517
00:33:54,125 --> 00:33:56,523
I mean, if you weren't,
then we'd really be up shit's creek.
518
00:33:57,255 --> 00:33:59,986
I feel very productive,
and I can't sleep at all.
519
00:34:00,053 --> 00:34:03,718
I lose weight,
and I'm given to frivolous spending
520
00:34:03,818 --> 00:34:05,317
and promiscuity.
521
00:34:05,882 --> 00:34:07,915
Wow. What I'd like to do is...
522
00:34:08,015 --> 00:34:10,846
Introduce you to some of
the serotonergic antidepressants,
523
00:34:10,913 --> 00:34:12,312
like Prozac.
524
00:34:12,411 --> 00:34:13,444
What else can you tell me about...
525
00:34:13,511 --> 00:34:17,841
Feelings of depersonalization
and boredom.
526
00:34:18,173 --> 00:34:20,039
Anger and aggression. Irritability.
527
00:34:20,106 --> 00:34:23,104
Obsessive behavior is I guess
what you guys call it.
528
00:34:23,204 --> 00:34:27,267
Like, whenever I hear anyone say a word
that starts with the letter...
529
00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:30,165
I have to say five words that start
with the letter "V"
530
00:34:30,232 --> 00:34:32,697
and tap my head with my right hand.
531
00:34:33,596 --> 00:34:34,595
Perhaps we should start with...
532
00:34:34,661 --> 00:34:37,759
Viagra! Virgin! Venal! Vagabond! Vagina!
533
00:34:45,987 --> 00:34:49,418
Ain't I clean, bad machine
super cool, super mean
534
00:34:49,618 --> 00:34:53,215
Feelin' good for the man
Superfly, here I stand
535
00:34:53,282 --> 00:34:54,981
Secret stash, heavy bread
536
00:34:55,047 --> 00:34:56,546
- Thanks.
- No problem.
537
00:34:56,613 --> 00:34:57,679
You're in luck.
538
00:34:57,779 --> 00:34:59,478
We're running a special
on Wellbutrin today.
539
00:34:59,578 --> 00:35:00,643
(PILLS RATTLING)
540
00:35:01,242 --> 00:35:03,008
I'm your pusherman
541
00:35:04,140 --> 00:35:06,206
Heavy mind
Have you signed?
542
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,171
Is there something wrong
with the other bathroom?
543
00:35:09,237 --> 00:35:10,203
Yo!
544
00:35:11,435 --> 00:35:14,867
Ghetto prince is my thing
Makin' love's how I swing
545
00:35:15,132 --> 00:35:17,431
I'm your pusherman
546
00:35:18,830 --> 00:35:20,129
I'm your pusherman
547
00:35:20,595 --> 00:35:21,961
GIRL: Hi, Charlie!
548
00:35:22,561 --> 00:35:24,925
- Hi, Charlie!
- Hi, Charlie!
549
00:35:25,925 --> 00:35:26,958
Hi.
550
00:35:28,723 --> 00:35:31,754
I'm so glad to hear
that you're doing better, Charlie.
551
00:35:31,787 --> 00:35:33,786
The truth is, we sometimes don't know
552
00:35:33,853 --> 00:35:35,718
how you youngsters
are gonna react to these medications.
553
00:35:37,117 --> 00:35:40,548
Trust me, Doc, bringing psychiatric
drugs and teenagers together
554
00:35:40,614 --> 00:35:43,579
is like opening a lemonade stand
in the desert.
555
00:35:44,978 --> 00:35:47,343
(CLANGING)
556
00:35:48,343 --> 00:35:52,605
Can you shut the fuck up for one second?
We're working here. Shit.
557
00:35:52,705 --> 00:35:55,437
- Whatever, man.
- Fuck.
558
00:35:56,203 --> 00:35:57,569
(CHARLIE GROANING ON TV)
559
00:35:57,636 --> 00:36:00,300
Murph, is that my face making that sound?
560
00:36:01,366 --> 00:36:04,497
Yeah. It's kind of sad, dude.
You didn't even put up a fight.
561
00:36:04,564 --> 00:36:07,229
What did you tape this for, anyway?
562
00:36:07,329 --> 00:36:10,227
I always have my fights taped.
It's what I do.
563
00:36:10,792 --> 00:36:11,759
Really?
564
00:36:11,792 --> 00:36:16,056
Yeah, man, they're fun to watch in, like,
a Greatest Rodeo Deaths kind of way.
565
00:36:16,156 --> 00:36:18,321
You don't feel bad
for the kids or anything?
566
00:36:18,387 --> 00:36:19,453
Bad?
567
00:36:22,918 --> 00:36:24,117
Kind of.
568
00:36:25,216 --> 00:36:27,514
Well, what do you want me to do?
569
00:36:28,779 --> 00:36:32,244
- Maybe we should make it up to them?
- Dude, are you serious?
570
00:36:32,711 --> 00:36:34,375
CHARLIE: Charlie Bartlett
Productions brings you...
571
00:36:34,442 --> 00:36:35,409
(READING)
572
00:36:38,806 --> 00:36:41,105
Starring Murphy Bivens!
573
00:36:42,703 --> 00:36:44,202
Bert Bannister!
574
00:36:44,302 --> 00:36:45,368
Hammer!
575
00:36:47,733 --> 00:36:49,165
Terry Gotham!
576
00:36:51,730 --> 00:36:52,729
Phuc Nguyen!
577
00:36:55,194 --> 00:36:58,125
Charlie Bartlett! And Kip Crombwell,
578
00:36:58,192 --> 00:37:01,190
the kid whose name
you probably didn't know.
579
00:37:01,390 --> 00:37:02,389
(LOCKER DOOR SLAMS)
580
00:37:02,489 --> 00:37:03,521
(KIDS GRUNTING)
581
00:37:03,588 --> 00:37:08,018
Right here on Western Summit High's
Greatest After School Fights!
582
00:37:09,150 --> 00:37:12,415
Watch Murphy Bivens' fists of fury
pummel your best friends.
583
00:37:12,515 --> 00:37:15,280
Get them while they last!
Bert Bannister hit in the face!
584
00:37:15,313 --> 00:37:17,179
Charlie Bartlett punched in the eye!
585
00:37:17,212 --> 00:37:20,177
Instant gratification or your money back!
586
00:37:20,276 --> 00:37:22,108
Ladies and gentlemen, we are almost out!
587
00:37:22,175 --> 00:37:23,540
- Hey, Charlie.
- Kip. Hey.
588
00:37:23,607 --> 00:37:25,606
I heard that you were giving us
some of the proceeds?
589
00:37:25,706 --> 00:37:27,504
You heard right, my friend. Murph?
590
00:37:27,537 --> 00:37:28,770
There you go.
Pleasure doing business with you.
591
00:37:28,803 --> 00:37:30,535
- Hey, Murph.
- Come on.
592
00:37:30,602 --> 00:37:31,801
Murph.
593
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,099
- I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!
- Thank you.
594
00:37:35,166 --> 00:37:36,731
Sequel coming out this fall!
595
00:37:36,798 --> 00:37:39,296
Ladies and gentlemen,
even better than this one!
596
00:37:52,453 --> 00:37:55,284
SECRETARY: Charlie Bartlett
to the principal's office.
597
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:59,714
So, you're the infamous Charlie Bartlett.
We haven't officially met yet.
598
00:37:59,781 --> 00:38:01,547
I'm Nathan Gardner,
your beloved principal,
599
00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:03,545
and this is our superintendent,
Mr. Sedgwick,
600
00:38:03,645 --> 00:38:06,143
who made a special visit to meet you.
601
00:38:08,175 --> 00:38:11,040
Is it safe to assume
you know why you're here?
602
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:13,738
No, not exactly.
603
00:38:17,335 --> 00:38:19,400
(KIP GROANING)
604
00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:24,496
This might well be the most disturbing
thing I've ever seen at this school.
605
00:38:24,563 --> 00:38:27,761
Peddling this kind of trash
makes you reprehensible.
606
00:38:29,527 --> 00:38:31,791
Do you know
what "reprehensible" means?
607
00:38:31,858 --> 00:38:34,923
- Yes, sir.
- Do you understand what you did wrong?
608
00:38:35,888 --> 00:38:37,587
No, sir. Not really.
609
00:38:39,253 --> 00:38:40,185
Not really? Okay.
610
00:38:40,285 --> 00:38:43,849
Well, you've got three days
of suspension to think about it.
611
00:38:47,847 --> 00:38:49,278
Hey, what's up?
612
00:38:49,345 --> 00:38:51,577
Hey, aren't you suspended?
613
00:38:51,677 --> 00:38:52,676
- Yeah.
- Nice.
614
00:38:52,743 --> 00:38:54,908
- CHARLIE: Hey, do you wanna hang out?
- Sure.
615
00:38:54,974 --> 00:38:57,839
- Cool. Come inside.
- (CHUCKLING) Thank you.
616
00:38:58,839 --> 00:39:01,037
CHARLIE: (FRENCH ACCENT) Do you want
to spend an evening at Château Bartlett?
617
00:39:01,070 --> 00:39:02,103
SUSAN: Yes.
618
00:39:02,169 --> 00:39:04,268
CHARLIE: Thomas, Château Bartlett,
please.
619
00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:08,931
SUSAN: Is this technically
considered a mansion?
620
00:39:09,031 --> 00:39:12,029
Well, my mom calls it "The Estate."
621
00:39:12,096 --> 00:39:13,528
Oh. La-di-da.
622
00:39:15,094 --> 00:39:17,325
Oh, can you play this one?
623
00:39:17,825 --> 00:39:19,024
Yeah.
624
00:39:19,956 --> 00:39:21,555
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
625
00:39:27,251 --> 00:39:30,916
BOTH: (SINGING)
Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
626
00:39:30,949 --> 00:39:34,680
And if you want to be free, be free
627
00:39:34,746 --> 00:39:37,844
'Cause there's a million things to be
628
00:39:37,878 --> 00:39:40,875
You know that there are
629
00:39:42,207 --> 00:39:46,005
And if you want to live high, live high
630
00:39:46,072 --> 00:39:50,269
And if you wanna live low, live low
631
00:39:55,665 --> 00:39:58,995
You can do what you want
632
00:39:59,662 --> 00:40:02,393
The opportunity's on
633
00:40:02,460 --> 00:40:05,624
And if you find a new way
634
00:40:05,658 --> 00:40:08,821
You can do it today
635
00:40:11,619 --> 00:40:12,852
Hi, Mom.
636
00:40:14,851 --> 00:40:17,815
Oh, yeah. Mom, this is Susan.
637
00:40:17,882 --> 00:40:20,547
Susan, this is my mother, Marilyn.
638
00:40:21,146 --> 00:40:24,044
It's such a pleasure to meet you, Susan.
639
00:40:24,110 --> 00:40:26,109
Yeah, you too, Marilyn.
640
00:40:28,107 --> 00:40:29,640
(CHUCKLES)
641
00:40:33,038 --> 00:40:34,003
(SILENTLY)
642
00:40:38,734 --> 00:40:41,532
- She seems very nice.
- Yeah.
643
00:40:42,497 --> 00:40:44,862
Do I get to meet your dad, too?
644
00:40:47,261 --> 00:40:50,491
No, he's actually not with us anymore.
645
00:40:50,591 --> 00:40:52,024
Oh. I'm sorry.
646
00:40:53,090 --> 00:40:55,255
Yeah. It's okay.
647
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:59,185
He was a CIA agent, you know. Yeah.
648
00:40:59,252 --> 00:41:03,049
He survived Somalia, Yugoslavia, Iraq.
649
00:41:03,582 --> 00:41:05,581
Finally, he came home, you know,
650
00:41:05,647 --> 00:41:09,112
and our favorite thing to do together
was to get ice cream.
651
00:41:09,812 --> 00:41:12,376
So, one day, I was just sitting around
652
00:41:12,443 --> 00:41:15,074
and I heard the ice cream truck outside
653
00:41:15,108 --> 00:41:17,772
and it always played the same song,
654
00:41:17,839 --> 00:41:19,505
Yankee Doodle.
655
00:41:20,037 --> 00:41:23,468
So, basically, he ran out
to stop the truck and it just
656
00:41:23,568 --> 00:41:26,433
drove right over him
and killed him instantly.
657
00:41:27,632 --> 00:41:29,231
Are you fucking with me?
658
00:41:29,397 --> 00:41:30,297
(STARTS PLAYING PIANO)
659
00:41:30,397 --> 00:41:31,696
(IMITATING ENGLISH ACCENT)
Yankee Doodle went to town
660
00:41:31,796 --> 00:41:33,395
riding on a pony
661
00:41:33,461 --> 00:41:37,092
Stuck a feather in his hat
and called it macaroni
662
00:41:40,256 --> 00:41:41,255
(CLAPPING SOFTLY)
663
00:41:41,289 --> 00:41:43,353
- Bravo. Really.
- Thank you.
664
00:41:43,387 --> 00:41:44,986
You're too kind.
665
00:41:46,951 --> 00:41:49,249
Say, George, just one more will do.
666
00:41:50,982 --> 00:41:52,214
Thanks.
667
00:41:53,246 --> 00:41:55,679
- How you doing, Nate?
- Hi, Bert.
668
00:41:55,778 --> 00:41:57,210
What's going on? How you been?
669
00:41:57,277 --> 00:41:58,343
Good.
670
00:41:59,542 --> 00:42:01,008
Listen, Nate,
671
00:42:01,874 --> 00:42:04,538
do you know this Charlie Bartlett kid?
672
00:42:06,037 --> 00:42:07,970
A bit. Why do you ask?
673
00:42:09,768 --> 00:42:11,200
You're not gonna like it.
674
00:42:11,233 --> 00:42:14,065
(MUSIC BLARING)
675
00:42:14,165 --> 00:42:16,064
- What?
- Get off the phone.
676
00:42:16,663 --> 00:42:17,829
- Hang up the phone.
- Okay.
677
00:42:17,929 --> 00:42:20,161
- Thank you.
- I'll call you right back.
678
00:42:20,194 --> 00:42:22,225
You're gonna shut down this power grid,
please, for one second.
679
00:42:22,259 --> 00:42:23,591
Thank you.
680
00:42:25,423 --> 00:42:26,756
And the TV.
681
00:42:27,056 --> 00:42:28,388
Whatever.
682
00:42:29,887 --> 00:42:30,886
What?
683
00:42:30,986 --> 00:42:33,817
Are you seeing a boy
named Charlie Bartlett?
684
00:42:33,851 --> 00:42:35,383
Well, if you know I am,
why are you asking?
685
00:42:35,450 --> 00:42:37,548
I don't know, but now I do. Okay?
686
00:42:37,581 --> 00:42:39,180
What does he want?
687
00:42:39,647 --> 00:42:40,746
Are you drunk?
688
00:42:40,779 --> 00:42:42,611
Do you expect me to qualify that
with an answer?
689
00:42:42,678 --> 00:42:44,277
Be really careful right now.
I'm not kidding.
690
00:42:44,377 --> 00:42:46,008
I met this kid. I was a teenage boy once...
691
00:42:46,042 --> 00:42:47,574
You know what? I would understand
if you were drunk, Dad,
692
00:42:47,641 --> 00:42:50,139
- because you're acting like a jackass!
- Sweetie, be open to the possibility
693
00:42:50,205 --> 00:42:51,971
that he would love
to tell his friends how he...
694
00:42:52,004 --> 00:42:53,803
Oh, how he what?
695
00:42:55,968 --> 00:42:57,134
You know.
696
00:42:57,167 --> 00:42:59,633
- No. How he what?
- Yes. You know what.
697
00:43:00,132 --> 00:43:02,464
How he... With the principal's daughter.
698
00:43:02,563 --> 00:43:03,730
Come on.
699
00:43:05,394 --> 00:43:06,428
Shit.
700
00:43:10,658 --> 00:43:11,857
Wow.
701
00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:13,389
Thanks for the wonderful
compliment, Dad.
702
00:43:13,456 --> 00:43:15,055
Come on, obviously, that came out wrong.
703
00:43:15,154 --> 00:43:16,387
Sure did.
704
00:43:44,234 --> 00:43:46,165
Time to get up, Charlie.
705
00:43:46,765 --> 00:43:47,731
(GROANS)
706
00:43:48,131 --> 00:43:50,762
I don't have to go anywhere, Mom.
I'm suspended.
707
00:43:50,829 --> 00:43:52,528
I am aware of that.
708
00:43:52,595 --> 00:43:55,958
Come on. Get dressed.
We're visiting your father today.
709
00:44:17,643 --> 00:44:19,508
Thank you, Thomas.
710
00:44:19,575 --> 00:44:20,740
Charlie?
711
00:44:24,904 --> 00:44:27,303
You come in when you're ready, dear.
712
00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:31,600
(DOOR CLOSES)
713
00:44:55,282 --> 00:44:56,881
- Was he worried?
- Nope.
714
00:44:56,914 --> 00:45:01,511
He says, whatever's going on with you,
he's sure you're going to work it out.
715
00:45:03,809 --> 00:45:05,942
Yeah, that sounds about right.
716
00:45:07,341 --> 00:45:08,473
(PEN TAPPING NERVOUSLY)
717
00:45:10,072 --> 00:45:11,571
Boy, time flies.
718
00:45:12,670 --> 00:45:14,901
How was your 72-hour meditation?
719
00:45:15,801 --> 00:45:17,267
Pretty enlightening.
720
00:45:17,334 --> 00:45:20,497
Yeah, I'm proud to say
I'm completely rehabilitated.
721
00:45:21,064 --> 00:45:23,362
Very interesting resume, Charlie.
722
00:45:23,795 --> 00:45:25,960
Is there a private school
you haven't been kicked out of?
723
00:45:25,993 --> 00:45:29,291
- Why? You checking up on me?
- Don't flatter yourself.
724
00:45:29,758 --> 00:45:30,924
Sorry.
725
00:45:30,990 --> 00:45:32,922
Principals have access
to academic records.
726
00:45:32,988 --> 00:45:37,085
As you know, I'm the principal,
and as principal I will do my best
727
00:45:37,119 --> 00:45:41,183
to help you graduate with
what you will need to survive in the world.
728
00:45:41,849 --> 00:45:44,847
But I'm not always the principal.
Sometimes I'm other things.
729
00:45:44,914 --> 00:45:46,513
Really? Like what?
730
00:45:46,945 --> 00:45:48,644
Like Susan's father.
731
00:45:50,476 --> 00:45:51,509
Oh.
732
00:45:52,508 --> 00:45:54,907
Don't worry, Charlie,
I'm not gonna call you into my office
733
00:45:54,940 --> 00:45:57,138
and have one of those intimidating
father-boyfriend talks.
734
00:45:57,238 --> 00:45:59,104
I'm not that kind of dad.
735
00:45:59,170 --> 00:46:00,503
Well, thank you.
736
00:46:00,569 --> 00:46:01,668
Because if I were one of those dads,
737
00:46:01,735 --> 00:46:05,665
I'd probably say how my job
is a distant second to my daughter,
738
00:46:07,164 --> 00:46:08,663
and so help me God, if you get out of line,
739
00:46:08,730 --> 00:46:12,460
I will take a massive steaming dump
on your life.
740
00:46:19,955 --> 00:46:21,488
(EXHALES)
741
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:23,919
Good to have you back.
742
00:46:24,818 --> 00:46:25,750
(DOOR OPENING)
743
00:46:25,850 --> 00:46:28,049
- SUSAN: Hey, Murph.
- Hey.
744
00:46:29,715 --> 00:46:31,713
- Hello.
- Hello.
745
00:46:32,313 --> 00:46:36,909
So, how does this work?
Do I just talk, or... Does Murphy listen?
746
00:46:36,976 --> 00:46:40,140
Well, he's bound
by a confidentiality agreement.
747
00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:42,572
But he can leave if you want.
748
00:46:42,672 --> 00:46:45,970
- Yeah, maybe just for this first time.
- All right.
749
00:46:46,070 --> 00:46:47,835
Sorry, Murph.
750
00:46:47,902 --> 00:46:49,500
Yeah, yeah, I heard you.
751
00:46:49,567 --> 00:46:51,732
It's not like
I'm your fucking business partner.
752
00:46:51,832 --> 00:46:53,730
So, what did my dad want?
753
00:46:56,129 --> 00:46:58,061
He just wanted to welcome me back.
754
00:46:58,094 --> 00:47:01,325
He didn't say anything about me
hanging out with you?
755
00:47:02,258 --> 00:47:03,557
Not really.
756
00:47:04,423 --> 00:47:08,087
Maybe the way to do this
is to ask a question.
757
00:47:09,053 --> 00:47:10,452
What question?
758
00:47:10,918 --> 00:47:13,850
Charlie, I don't know.
You're the professional.
759
00:47:14,715 --> 00:47:18,946
All right. Well, I guess the obvious one is
how do you feel about your dad?
760
00:47:19,012 --> 00:47:22,809
You mean, besides the fact that this
stupid job turned him into an alcoholic?
761
00:47:22,843 --> 00:47:23,909
Okay.
762
00:47:25,242 --> 00:47:27,240
How do you feel about that?
763
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:31,104
I think it actually bothers him
more than me, to be honest.
764
00:47:31,203 --> 00:47:33,236
But there was the night.
765
00:47:34,235 --> 00:47:35,867
What's "the night"?
766
00:47:37,099 --> 00:47:39,864
The night he found out
my mother was having an affair.
767
00:47:39,931 --> 00:47:45,293
He was plastered, waving this.38 revolver
around, threatening to kill himself.
768
00:47:47,726 --> 00:47:48,658
Wow.
769
00:47:52,088 --> 00:47:54,687
So, your mom left and you stayed, right?
770
00:47:56,319 --> 00:47:57,918
Yeah, pretty much.
771
00:47:59,483 --> 00:48:02,115
Well, he promised to get rid of the gun,
772
00:48:02,215 --> 00:48:04,480
and then he went into treatment
for a while.
773
00:48:04,579 --> 00:48:08,910
And then, for whatever reason,
he decided he was into boats.
774
00:48:09,010 --> 00:48:10,675
You know, it's like someone said,
775
00:48:10,775 --> 00:48:13,973
"Hey, you, you're crazy.
Chill out and get a hobby."
776
00:48:15,039 --> 00:48:16,005
(SIGHS)
777
00:48:17,104 --> 00:48:18,769
- Susan.
- Yes?
778
00:48:21,667 --> 00:48:25,165
I'm still waiting for you to tell me
how you feel about your dad.
779
00:48:25,232 --> 00:48:26,231
Ah.
780
00:48:26,431 --> 00:48:27,830
You're tough.
781
00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:35,191
I guess what I'm trying to say is it just...
782
00:48:35,991 --> 00:48:41,253
It kind of sucks having one parent ditch
and then the other one lose their mind.
783
00:48:46,916 --> 00:48:52,045
I mean, how can I possibly hope
to turn out even remotely functional?
784
00:48:55,910 --> 00:48:57,009
Yeah.
785
00:49:02,005 --> 00:49:05,203
Well, I kind of do feel better.
786
00:49:07,668 --> 00:49:08,900
I'm glad.
787
00:49:10,366 --> 00:49:13,364
Well, thanks for listening, Charlie Bartlett.
788
00:49:13,430 --> 00:49:15,363
(CHUCKLES) No problem, Susan Gardner.
789
00:49:22,358 --> 00:49:24,689
(SIGHS)
790
00:49:30,851 --> 00:49:31,984
Susan?
791
00:49:54,734 --> 00:49:58,232
(MUSIC PLA YING ON BOOM BOX)
792
00:50:03,428 --> 00:50:04,460
Hey.
793
00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:05,926
Listen up.
794
00:50:06,859 --> 00:50:09,357
All right, due to the booming economy
of our fine school,
795
00:50:09,390 --> 00:50:14,253
Dr. Charlie Bartlett here invites you all
to a private party at the Drive-In Club,
796
00:50:14,353 --> 00:50:18,383
which will be the most raging party
in the history of Western Summit.
797
00:50:18,850 --> 00:50:21,581
MURPHY: Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
798
00:50:21,615 --> 00:50:23,247
ALL: Charlie! Charlie!
799
00:50:26,212 --> 00:50:27,744
(ALL CHEERING)
800
00:50:30,142 --> 00:50:33,307
(SINGING) Head filled up with fear
801
00:50:33,373 --> 00:50:36,770
It's obvious you love the skin you wear
802
00:50:36,837 --> 00:50:40,335
I need to lie down
Need some air
803
00:50:40,401 --> 00:50:43,899
Messing and mussing your tie-dyed hair
804
00:50:44,698 --> 00:50:49,495
You're making a big mistake, mister
805
00:50:51,227 --> 00:50:53,158
Dustin Lauderbach wants a minute
with you, dude.
806
00:50:53,225 --> 00:50:56,756
Come on, is this really necessary?
I was hoping to get a chance to enjoy this.
807
00:50:56,823 --> 00:50:58,422
No, man, he's captain of the football team.
808
00:50:58,521 --> 00:50:59,654
All right.
809
00:51:00,987 --> 00:51:04,950
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
810
00:51:08,048 --> 00:51:12,145
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
811
00:51:15,776 --> 00:51:19,340
All right, first of all, I'm sick of football.
812
00:51:20,206 --> 00:51:23,603
I mean, zero desire to do this in college.
813
00:51:25,902 --> 00:51:26,968
What do you want to do?
814
00:51:27,034 --> 00:51:28,600
Try not to laugh,
815
00:51:30,199 --> 00:51:33,030
but I was thinking of
going to Paris to study painting.
816
00:51:33,130 --> 00:51:36,094
That's cool.
Have you mentioned this to your dad?
817
00:51:37,294 --> 00:51:41,224
No way. Quitting football isn't gonna
go over very well,
818
00:51:41,324 --> 00:51:45,121
let alone hitting him up two seconds later
for money to spend a year in France.
819
00:51:45,188 --> 00:51:47,386
Well, what about your mom?
820
00:51:47,486 --> 00:51:50,717
She only hears half the stuff I say.
What is that? There's a word for it.
821
00:51:50,784 --> 00:51:52,083
Menopause.
822
00:51:53,815 --> 00:51:55,148
So, what should I do?
823
00:51:55,214 --> 00:52:00,944
Well, I think one of our duties as teenagers
is to occasionally piss off our parents.
824
00:52:01,709 --> 00:52:03,708
- So, go for it, okay?
- Yeah.
825
00:52:04,307 --> 00:52:05,406
Thanks.
826
00:52:09,404 --> 00:52:11,969
I think Dustin Lauderbach may be a...
827
00:52:12,968 --> 00:52:16,399
I think you're just jealous 'cause
you don't have any artistic ambitions.
828
00:52:16,498 --> 00:52:18,931
Fuck you, dude. In fifth grade,
829
00:52:18,997 --> 00:52:22,128
I played Linus in
You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.
830
00:52:22,194 --> 00:52:23,261
And I was good.
831
00:52:23,328 --> 00:52:24,293
- Really?
- Yeah.
832
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,158
Wow, I didn't know that.
833
00:52:26,258 --> 00:52:28,057
If I'm jealous, if,
834
00:52:28,090 --> 00:52:29,889
it's because only guys
like Dustin Lauderbach
835
00:52:29,956 --> 00:52:31,754
can get girls like Whitney Drummond.
836
00:52:31,787 --> 00:52:33,453
You wanna hook up
with Whitney Drummond?
837
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:36,284
No. I want to do it right.
838
00:52:36,884 --> 00:52:40,181
That's the kind of girl
you go dinner and a movie with.
839
00:52:40,948 --> 00:52:42,514
I don't know,
you'd have to clean up quite a bit.
840
00:52:42,580 --> 00:52:43,779
(SCOFFS)
841
00:52:43,813 --> 00:52:45,378
Not in this life.
842
00:52:47,343 --> 00:52:50,074
So, why did you stop
doing the school play?
843
00:52:50,741 --> 00:52:53,672
I kept getting my ass kicked
by people like me.
844
00:52:55,537 --> 00:52:58,168
Murph, we really have to have
conversations like this more often.
845
00:52:58,268 --> 00:52:59,567
Oh, bite me.
846
00:53:00,901 --> 00:53:03,332
Here you are. You're coming with me.
847
00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:06,163
I am, am I? Where are we going?
848
00:53:06,996 --> 00:53:11,126
Well, Dr. Bartlett, I think it's high time
you stepped into my office.
849
00:53:23,784 --> 00:53:26,515
Wow. Beats the hell out of my office.
850
00:53:39,306 --> 00:53:40,505
(SIGHS)
851
00:53:57,126 --> 00:53:58,525
So, what now?
852
00:53:59,359 --> 00:54:02,656
Now I'm going to ask you
a series of questions,
853
00:54:02,722 --> 00:54:05,754
and if you answer honestly,
you shall be rewarded.
854
00:54:07,019 --> 00:54:08,318
All right.
855
00:54:08,352 --> 00:54:11,216
All right. Question number one.
856
00:54:11,916 --> 00:54:14,747
And this one is a little selfish on my part.
857
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,512
- Okay.
- Okay.
858
00:54:18,478 --> 00:54:21,509
Is your interest in me
any way related to the fact
859
00:54:21,609 --> 00:54:23,707
that my dad is the principal?
860
00:54:24,007 --> 00:54:25,806
What? Why would it be?
861
00:54:26,639 --> 00:54:30,636
Because I know you get a kick out of
doing things that might get you in trouble.
862
00:54:30,702 --> 00:54:33,234
Well, I'm not gonna deny that, but no.
863
00:54:34,067 --> 00:54:37,897
I pretty much liked you
from the first moment that I saw you.
864
00:54:37,931 --> 00:54:40,895
And I had no idea who your father was.
865
00:54:52,420 --> 00:54:54,119
Was that my reward?
866
00:54:54,185 --> 00:54:55,418
Mmm-hmm.
867
00:54:57,417 --> 00:55:00,248
I think I'm ready
for the next question then.
868
00:55:03,079 --> 00:55:05,411
What's the deal with your father?
869
00:55:07,243 --> 00:55:09,241
Does that really have to be
the next question?
870
00:55:09,274 --> 00:55:12,539
Yes. The harder the question,
the greater the reward.
871
00:55:16,636 --> 00:55:18,068
He's in prison.
872
00:55:22,931 --> 00:55:26,729
My mom went into
a pretty bad depression
873
00:55:26,829 --> 00:55:28,527
when he got arrested.
874
00:55:30,259 --> 00:55:35,090
So, when he was out on bail,
he took me out for ice cream
875
00:55:36,455 --> 00:55:39,120
and he told me I had to take care of her.
876
00:55:40,452 --> 00:55:43,317
So, I promised him I would.
877
00:55:45,215 --> 00:55:49,779
And I've been taking care of her ever since.
878
00:55:53,010 --> 00:55:54,908
So, who takes care of you?
879
00:56:12,663 --> 00:56:13,862
Susan?
880
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,191
I've never done this before.
881
00:56:20,857 --> 00:56:23,021
I know that, Charlie Bartlett.
882
00:56:23,688 --> 00:56:29,084
... I can enjoy this girl-like boy
883
00:56:30,750 --> 00:56:34,647
(SINGING) I'll paint the room white
884
00:56:34,747 --> 00:56:39,676
Just give me something to destroy
885
00:56:41,408 --> 00:56:45,272
You got your green light
886
00:56:45,372 --> 00:56:51,401
For us, it's time
887
00:56:51,468 --> 00:56:54,233
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
888
00:57:02,593 --> 00:57:03,792
(COUGHS)
889
00:57:04,558 --> 00:57:06,957
That's really bad for you, you know?
890
00:57:13,652 --> 00:57:17,349
- Hey. What are you doing?
- I'll be right back.
891
00:57:20,580 --> 00:57:22,612
Oh, my God! Charlie, get in here!
892
00:57:23,012 --> 00:57:26,210
Ladies and gentlemen,
how are you all doing tonight?
893
00:57:26,243 --> 00:57:28,274
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
894
00:57:28,374 --> 00:57:33,371
My name is Charlie Bartlett
and I am no longer a virgin!
895
00:57:33,471 --> 00:57:36,336
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
896
00:57:36,369 --> 00:57:37,802
Thank you!
897
00:57:37,835 --> 00:57:40,233
For crying out loud.
898
00:57:40,865 --> 00:57:42,131
(SIGHS)
899
00:57:43,763 --> 00:57:46,628
KIP: I can't think of any reason
to stay on this planet.
900
00:57:46,728 --> 00:57:48,960
No one at school even knows my name.
901
00:57:49,026 --> 00:57:52,191
The idea of even making contact
with another human being
902
00:57:52,257 --> 00:57:54,456
is like trying to defy gravity.
903
00:57:54,822 --> 00:57:57,354
There's just no point in being alive.
904
00:58:54,313 --> 00:58:57,344
Charlie, listen to
what Mr. Gardner has to say.
905
00:59:03,973 --> 00:59:07,637
Kip Crombwell overdosed
on a handful of sedatives last night.
906
00:59:14,098 --> 00:59:15,364
Is he okay?
907
00:59:16,297 --> 00:59:18,762
He's okay, yeah.
He's gonna be fine. He's home.
908
00:59:18,829 --> 00:59:19,961
And you might want to thank him later
909
00:59:20,028 --> 00:59:22,492
for not telling his parents
where he got the drugs.
910
00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:26,424
If anyone could prove it was you,
this would be a different story.
911
00:59:27,556 --> 00:59:30,421
Charlie, how could you do
something like this?
912
00:59:35,150 --> 00:59:36,716
What happens now?
913
00:59:37,016 --> 00:59:38,348
You tell me.
914
00:59:42,212 --> 00:59:45,909
If you can explain what you're doing,
or better yet, why you're doing it,
915
00:59:45,975 --> 00:59:47,974
that would be a good start.
916
00:59:48,707 --> 00:59:52,705
Look, I'm helping these kids, okay?
Nobody else is listening to them.
917
00:59:52,771 --> 00:59:54,703
I encourage you to listen all you like,
but let's face it,
918
00:59:54,736 --> 00:59:56,602
- you're not a professional.
- No.
919
00:59:56,702 --> 00:59:58,566
And these medications
have a legitimate use.
920
00:59:58,666 --> 01:00:01,132
They've helped a lot of people.
It's a generational thing.
921
01:00:01,165 --> 01:00:03,963
You know, teenagers always find a way
to abuse something.
922
01:00:04,062 --> 01:00:05,362
And why not, right?
923
01:00:05,461 --> 01:00:07,794
Being zonked out of your mind
is a lot more fun
924
01:00:07,894 --> 01:00:10,125
than dealing with your problems.
925
01:00:11,091 --> 01:00:14,955
Excuse me for asking,
but are you speaking from experience or...
926
01:00:15,055 --> 01:00:17,520
You know,
that's not an appropriate question.
927
01:00:17,553 --> 01:00:19,985
- That's okay.
- Okay.
928
01:00:21,584 --> 01:00:24,282
Yeah, I sought treatment for some issues.
929
01:00:24,981 --> 01:00:27,146
You're not doing that anymore?
930
01:00:27,246 --> 01:00:30,910
Got to the point where I felt
I was ready to stop, so I did.
931
01:00:31,310 --> 01:00:35,140
- How's that going for you?
- Some days are better than others.
932
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:36,839
Do you want to talk about it sometime?
933
01:00:36,873 --> 01:00:39,837
No, I would not
like to talk about it sometime.
934
01:00:40,736 --> 01:00:42,302
Charlie, come on.
935
01:00:44,234 --> 01:00:46,266
What are you doing this for?
936
01:00:52,162 --> 01:00:53,561
I don't know.
937
01:00:54,226 --> 01:00:55,492
I guess...
938
01:00:57,624 --> 01:00:59,357
I'm really happy here.
939
01:01:01,555 --> 01:01:04,153
For the first time, everybody likes me.
940
01:01:05,019 --> 01:01:06,552
There are more important things.
941
01:01:06,618 --> 01:01:10,315
Look, I know. Everybody keeps
saying that, but the thing is, is I'm 17,
942
01:01:10,415 --> 01:01:12,847
and popularity is pretty damn
important to me.
943
01:01:12,913 --> 01:01:15,511
Charlie, there are more important things.
944
01:01:15,578 --> 01:01:16,877
Like what?
945
01:01:18,076 --> 01:01:20,574
Like what you do with that popularity.
946
01:01:32,366 --> 01:01:36,363
Look, I've been around a while,
you know, long enough to say this.
947
01:01:37,929 --> 01:01:40,260
What you do in this life matters.
948
01:01:51,552 --> 01:01:54,317
(DRAGNET THEME PLA YING ON TV)
949
01:01:54,417 --> 01:01:55,616
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
950
01:01:56,082 --> 01:01:57,281
Hey, Kip.
951
01:01:58,314 --> 01:01:59,679
Hey, Charlie.
952
01:01:59,746 --> 01:02:01,445
How are you feeling?
953
01:02:02,112 --> 01:02:05,642
Fine, I guess.
They had to pump my stomach.
954
01:02:05,809 --> 01:02:06,841
(GROANS IN SYMPATHY)
955
01:02:06,874 --> 01:02:10,506
- How was that?
- Pretty disgusting.
956
01:02:11,471 --> 01:02:14,703
But now I get to just
play video games all day, so...
957
01:02:15,668 --> 01:02:16,734
Cool.
958
01:02:18,833 --> 01:02:22,130
So, are you still,
like, a suicidal maniac or...
959
01:02:24,096 --> 01:02:27,260
Well, it's not like all my problems
just went away.
960
01:02:28,059 --> 01:02:30,025
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
961
01:02:30,092 --> 01:02:33,055
Look, Charlie, it's cool
that you came by and everything,
962
01:02:33,122 --> 01:02:35,021
but there's really nothing that you can say
963
01:02:35,088 --> 01:02:37,319
that's going to make me
feel any better, so...
964
01:02:37,419 --> 01:02:38,985
Nothing? Why not?
965
01:02:39,518 --> 01:02:41,283
No one knows I exist.
966
01:02:42,516 --> 01:02:45,414
The last time a girl spoke to me
was in the third grade.
967
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:47,879
I have no friends and I'm an idiot.
968
01:02:49,311 --> 01:02:51,376
You at least have friends.
969
01:02:51,409 --> 01:02:54,107
How would you possibly know
what it's like?
970
01:02:55,373 --> 01:02:59,403
- I just think you're missing the big picture.
- What big picture?
971
01:02:59,470 --> 01:03:02,601
- The universe.
- What about the universe?
972
01:03:02,634 --> 01:03:03,767
(CHUCKLES)
973
01:03:03,833 --> 01:03:06,831
Well, the universe is a pretty big place.
974
01:03:06,898 --> 01:03:09,064
Yeah. It's infinite, theoretically.
975
01:03:09,096 --> 01:03:12,627
Right. Which means there's probably
life on other planets.
976
01:03:13,660 --> 01:03:16,991
Not life like we think, but, yeah,
probably at least single-cell organisms.
977
01:03:17,058 --> 01:03:18,490
Well, see, that's my whole point.
978
01:03:18,590 --> 01:03:21,155
I mean, you could've been born
a single-cell organism
979
01:03:21,221 --> 01:03:22,754
on the planet Zortex.
980
01:03:22,820 --> 01:03:25,318
In fact, given the odds,
it's probably more likely.
981
01:03:25,418 --> 01:03:28,183
But you weren't.
You were born a human being.
982
01:03:28,250 --> 01:03:31,114
And not just any human being
in the history of human beings,
983
01:03:31,214 --> 01:03:33,279
but a human being
that gets to be alive today,
984
01:03:33,312 --> 01:03:37,509
that gets to listen to all kinds of music,
that gets to eat food from every culture,
985
01:03:37,576 --> 01:03:40,374
that gets to download porn
off the internet.
986
01:03:42,839 --> 01:03:45,603
So, really, you have everything to live for.
987
01:03:49,900 --> 01:03:51,466
You feel better?
988
01:03:53,997 --> 01:03:55,296
Not really.
989
01:03:58,028 --> 01:03:59,860
Well, at least I tried.
990
01:04:05,456 --> 01:04:09,886
- Hey, do you want to play some Killzone?
- Yeah.
991
01:04:11,751 --> 01:04:12,684
(CHUCKLING SMUGLY)
992
01:04:12,784 --> 01:04:13,950
Dude!
993
01:04:14,150 --> 01:04:18,414
- So, you're not selling drugs anymore?
- No, no. I'm searching for new enterprises.
994
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:21,212
- Like what?
- I don't know. You got any ideas?
995
01:04:21,245 --> 01:04:24,409
You're talking to someone
who can never get anything done.
996
01:04:24,442 --> 01:04:28,539
I've been trying to write a play, but,
you know, no one wants to read any of it.
997
01:04:28,606 --> 01:04:30,038
Well, is it any good?
998
01:04:30,071 --> 01:04:33,069
I don't know.
You can read it if you want to.
999
01:04:33,769 --> 01:04:34,802
Sure.
1000
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:38,632
Nope.
1001
01:04:40,531 --> 01:04:43,062
Sorry, guys, there's just no way.
1002
01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:46,759
- You didn't even read it.
- I read enough to know that it's a bad idea.
1003
01:04:46,793 --> 01:04:47,793
Why?
1004
01:04:47,859 --> 01:04:49,624
By virtue of the fact that it's inappropriate.
1005
01:04:49,724 --> 01:04:51,623
I'm not jazzed about
taking the heat for you two
1006
01:04:51,723 --> 01:04:53,554
having those kids doing
whatever they're doing in there.
1007
01:04:53,621 --> 01:04:57,586
But it's true. It has truth.
It's about us and the way we see things.
1008
01:04:57,651 --> 01:05:01,416
Mr. Crombwell's right.
We want to see something like this here.
1009
01:05:02,015 --> 01:05:05,146
Look, it may not be perfect,
but Charlie's gonna help me with it.
1010
01:05:05,213 --> 01:05:07,811
Great. That really puts my mind at ease.
1011
01:05:08,843 --> 01:05:11,242
Look, I'm really trying
to do the right thing, okay?
1012
01:05:11,342 --> 01:05:13,140
I thought that's what
you wanted me to do.
1013
01:05:13,207 --> 01:05:16,038
Yeah, I do,
but does it have to be this play?
1014
01:05:19,470 --> 01:05:21,768
If it helps your decision,
1015
01:05:21,834 --> 01:05:25,565
I'd be considerably less likely
to end my life if you said yes.
1016
01:05:33,959 --> 01:05:36,591
You've got to get it through Drama Club.
1017
01:05:38,222 --> 01:05:40,355
- Thank you, Mr. Gardner.
- Yeah.
1018
01:05:40,421 --> 01:05:42,353
You won't be disappointed.
1019
01:05:42,919 --> 01:05:44,852
Don't make me regret this.
1020
01:05:45,317 --> 01:05:47,383
So, what do we do now?
1021
01:05:47,450 --> 01:05:51,113
Well, don't worry about the Drama Club.
I'll work it out.
1022
01:05:51,547 --> 01:05:54,245
I kind of just don't know
what to say, Charlie.
1023
01:05:54,311 --> 01:05:55,777
No worries.
1024
01:05:56,943 --> 01:05:58,242
Don't fucking argue with me.
1025
01:05:58,342 --> 01:05:59,741
Listen, I just wanna remind you
how much this is worth!
1026
01:05:59,807 --> 01:06:01,173
- I know.
- Let me keep the Xanax.
1027
01:06:01,206 --> 01:06:03,738
- No. No Xanax. Everything.
- Charlie...
1028
01:06:10,199 --> 01:06:11,798
You're a dick.
1029
01:06:16,429 --> 01:06:17,828
No! No! No!
1030
01:06:17,928 --> 01:06:21,026
- Murph, give it to me.
- No! No! No, Charlie! No! No!
1031
01:06:26,921 --> 01:06:28,186
Excuse me, everyone.
1032
01:06:28,220 --> 01:06:30,785
May I have your attention?
I have an announcement to make.
1033
01:06:33,217 --> 01:06:36,381
Due to complications
with the insurance companies,
1034
01:06:38,313 --> 01:06:40,412
I will no longer be providing medication.
1035
01:06:40,512 --> 01:06:41,911
(STUDENTS GROANING)
1036
01:06:41,977 --> 01:06:46,773
I'm sure this will mean that a lot of you
are done speaking to me and that's fine.
1037
01:06:46,873 --> 01:06:50,338
However, for those of you
that are still interested,
1038
01:06:50,404 --> 01:06:54,268
I will be holding sessions in my office
free of charge.
1039
01:06:55,367 --> 01:06:56,666
Thank you.
1040
01:07:06,159 --> 01:07:09,057
I'm one of those people
not speaking to you.
1041
01:07:17,118 --> 01:07:19,749
Well, let's get started, shall we?
1042
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:30,676
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Whitney. What's going on?
1043
01:07:32,340 --> 01:07:33,806
I don't know.
1044
01:07:33,906 --> 01:07:36,871
Well, I think you have
something to tell me,
1045
01:07:36,937 --> 01:07:39,469
but you're worried what I might think.
1046
01:07:40,501 --> 01:07:41,668
I guess.
1047
01:07:43,299 --> 01:07:46,297
I really think that
there's something wrong with me.
1048
01:07:46,330 --> 01:07:47,696
Why is that?
1049
01:07:48,263 --> 01:07:50,361
Well, I've been crying a lot.
1050
01:07:50,894 --> 01:07:52,360
Like, at cheer.
1051
01:07:55,091 --> 01:07:58,389
I've slept with almost every guy
on the football team.
1052
01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:01,886
All of them?
1053
01:08:03,385 --> 01:08:05,117
Well, maybe not all.
1054
01:08:06,050 --> 01:08:08,149
But all the backfield, anyway.
1055
01:08:09,114 --> 01:08:12,312
Well, do you like any of these guys?
1056
01:08:13,511 --> 01:08:14,777
Not really.
1057
01:08:15,443 --> 01:08:18,941
I mean, I know they don't want to be
my boyfriend or anything lame like that.
1058
01:08:19,041 --> 01:08:22,571
But they try to sleep with me,
and I don't want to say no to them.
1059
01:08:22,671 --> 01:08:27,368
Well, look, I don't know, maybe you should
take it slower, you know?
1060
01:08:27,468 --> 01:08:29,134
Enjoy yourself.
1061
01:08:29,233 --> 01:08:32,431
I mean, there are plenty of guys
at this school
1062
01:08:32,464 --> 01:08:35,762
that would do anything to take you
to dinner and a movie.
1063
01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:37,827
Give me a break. Like who?
1064
01:08:38,127 --> 01:08:39,359
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1065
01:08:41,625 --> 01:08:43,756
- Hey, Whitney.
- Hi, Murphy.
1066
01:08:44,223 --> 01:08:46,554
Wow, you actually brought flowers.
1067
01:08:46,621 --> 01:08:48,520
They're pretty lame, huh?
1068
01:08:51,850 --> 01:08:55,115
- I've never been on a real date before.
- That's okay, Murphy.
1069
01:08:55,215 --> 01:08:58,046
I've never been on a real date
before either.
1070
01:09:08,006 --> 01:09:12,236
- By the way, I like your shirt.
- Oh, thanks.
1071
01:09:13,035 --> 01:09:15,200
Okay. Thanks, Charlie.
1072
01:09:16,333 --> 01:09:19,064
- Hey.
- Hey, Henry. How's it going, man?
1073
01:09:19,098 --> 01:09:22,095
The board completely ignored the petition
to get the cameras out of the lounge,
1074
01:09:22,161 --> 01:09:23,860
so they've basically blown us off.
1075
01:09:23,894 --> 01:09:25,293
Next thing you know,
they'll put in metal detectors
1076
01:09:25,326 --> 01:09:27,425
and start doing random locker searches.
1077
01:09:27,492 --> 01:09:29,423
We have to do something.
We need you, man.
1078
01:09:29,490 --> 01:09:32,888
I don't know, Henry.
I am already on thin ice with Gardner.
1079
01:09:32,954 --> 01:09:36,251
If I lead a protest,
I think he'll have me assassinated.
1080
01:09:36,285 --> 01:09:38,050
We need to do something.
1081
01:09:38,084 --> 01:09:39,683
All right, look,
if you want to lead a protest,
1082
01:09:39,749 --> 01:09:42,414
it's not like I'm gonna stop you, but...
1083
01:09:42,481 --> 01:09:44,013
Thanks, Charlie.
1084
01:09:46,144 --> 01:09:50,308
(TAPPING)
1085
01:09:52,673 --> 01:09:55,471
This is a school, not a prison.
1086
01:09:56,537 --> 01:09:59,235
Thanks, because I couldn't read the sign.
1087
01:09:59,302 --> 01:10:01,533
This is a school, not a prison.
1088
01:10:02,599 --> 01:10:04,998
This is a school, it's not a prison.
1089
01:10:05,864 --> 01:10:08,062
This is a school, not a prison.
1090
01:10:08,428 --> 01:10:10,694
This is a school, it's not a prison.
1091
01:10:16,622 --> 01:10:18,021
(TEACHER CHATTERING)
1092
01:10:25,050 --> 01:10:27,981
SEDGWICK: Cameras, protests,
insubordinate kids.
1093
01:10:28,048 --> 01:10:30,912
Would any of this have happened
without Charlie Bartlett?
1094
01:10:31,012 --> 01:10:33,110
He's all I hear about these days.
1095
01:10:33,177 --> 01:10:35,043
"Charlie Bartlett told my son this.
1096
01:10:35,109 --> 01:10:37,774
"Charlie Bartlett told my daughter
to do that."
1097
01:10:37,841 --> 01:10:41,371
Our lives would be a whole lot easier
if we just expelled him.
1098
01:10:42,404 --> 01:10:45,036
You really think that's what he deserves?
1099
01:10:45,069 --> 01:10:48,234
Do yourself a favor.
Don't get fired over this kid.
1100
01:10:53,363 --> 01:10:54,429
Look at this.
1101
01:10:54,495 --> 01:10:57,093
Look, I don't think there should
be cameras in the lounge, but...
1102
01:10:57,193 --> 01:10:58,592
(STUDENTS CLAMORING)
1103
01:10:58,626 --> 01:11:00,225
I don't even know what to say.
1104
01:11:00,291 --> 01:11:02,689
I kind of see where
your dad's coming from, too.
1105
01:11:02,756 --> 01:11:04,955
Since when do you care what he thinks?
1106
01:11:05,022 --> 01:11:08,485
I don't know.
He's given me a break a couple of times.
1107
01:11:08,585 --> 01:11:09,618
Yeah.
1108
01:11:11,417 --> 01:11:12,616
(FEEDBACKSCREECHING)
1109
01:11:12,849 --> 01:11:16,779
Attention, all dissenting students
of Western Summit High School.
1110
01:11:16,846 --> 01:11:19,144
You have two minutes to disperse.
1111
01:11:19,177 --> 01:11:21,076
If you have not at that time,
you will be suspended.
1112
01:11:21,176 --> 01:11:24,441
No! See, we have a right to be here.
They can't kick us all out.
1113
01:11:24,540 --> 01:11:27,239
There has to be a better way
to handle this.
1114
01:11:27,338 --> 01:11:30,136
- Okay. Can you help me out?
- What are you gonna do?
1115
01:11:30,203 --> 01:11:33,801
Could you go over there and tell them
to break it up and come back tonight?
1116
01:11:33,867 --> 01:11:34,900
Okay.
1117
01:11:36,399 --> 01:11:39,230
STUDENTS: This is a school, not a prison!
This is a school, not a prison!
1118
01:11:39,263 --> 01:11:42,627
Hey, guys, Charlie wanted me to ask...
1119
01:11:47,757 --> 01:11:51,354
Charlie wants us to go home
and come back tonight, all right?
1120
01:12:43,784 --> 01:12:44,916
Susan!
1121
01:12:48,347 --> 01:12:49,746
- What did he just give you?
- What?
1122
01:12:49,779 --> 01:12:52,610
- That's just...
- Shut it! I'm talking to my daughter.
1123
01:12:52,710 --> 01:12:55,242
- What is in that pharmacy bag?
- None of your business.
1124
01:12:55,342 --> 01:12:57,806
- Susan...
- I don't need any assistance from you
1125
01:12:57,906 --> 01:12:59,805
handling my daughter.
Do you understand?
1126
01:12:59,905 --> 01:13:02,970
Try saying one more word
and see what happens.
1127
01:13:03,037 --> 01:13:05,001
Come on, you really think
I don't know what's in the bag?
1128
01:13:05,101 --> 01:13:07,833
Yeah. I really don't think
you know what's in the bag.
1129
01:13:07,933 --> 01:13:09,765
Where are you going?
You're not going anywhere.
1130
01:13:09,832 --> 01:13:10,831
Whatever.
1131
01:13:10,931 --> 01:13:14,395
Susan Gardner, get your ass
back in the house on the count of three,
1132
01:13:14,494 --> 01:13:16,127
or you're grounded.
1133
01:13:16,627 --> 01:13:19,025
What makes you think
you're still in control of what I do?
1134
01:13:19,125 --> 01:13:23,622
I don't think. I know. It's a fact.
What are you looking at? One!
1135
01:13:23,722 --> 01:13:26,586
I would not make me choose
between you and Charlie if I were you.
1136
01:13:26,686 --> 01:13:29,584
You don't have to choose.
Drug dealer! Dad!
1137
01:13:29,684 --> 01:13:33,348
I'm your father.
This is a boy who goes to my school. Two!
1138
01:13:33,415 --> 01:13:36,513
Charlie Bartlett has done more
for your school than you ever will.
1139
01:13:36,579 --> 01:13:37,578
Three!
1140
01:13:37,678 --> 01:13:39,377
Hey! Don't touch her!
1141
01:13:41,675 --> 01:13:43,807
Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
1142
01:13:43,907 --> 01:13:47,438
Well, you did it. It's done.
1143
01:13:49,004 --> 01:13:51,035
Whatever. Let's go. Come on.
1144
01:14:17,516 --> 01:14:19,548
I'm really sorry I did that.
1145
01:14:21,680 --> 01:14:23,345
It's not your fault.
1146
01:14:24,778 --> 01:14:27,176
So, Charlie Bartlett assaulted you.
1147
01:14:27,742 --> 01:14:31,473
Well, now it's up to you.
Do you want to press charges or not?
1148
01:14:35,803 --> 01:14:37,769
HENRY ON MEGAPHONE: Now, we're
gonna get these cameras out of the lounge.
1149
01:14:37,869 --> 01:14:40,100
We're gonna figure it out tonight.
1150
01:14:40,167 --> 01:14:42,598
Hey, look who it is, everybody.
1151
01:14:42,698 --> 01:14:46,595
- CROWD: Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
1152
01:14:51,859 --> 01:14:53,790
(ALL CHEERING)
1153
01:14:55,889 --> 01:14:57,787
How you all doing tonight?
1154
01:14:57,887 --> 01:14:59,586
(CHEERING)
1155
01:14:59,686 --> 01:15:01,984
My name is Charlie Bartlett.
1156
01:15:06,248 --> 01:15:10,078
If there's one thing I want you guys
to walk away with tonight,
1157
01:15:18,705 --> 01:15:21,103
it's that you guys don't need me.
1158
01:15:22,370 --> 01:15:23,935
I really mean it.
1159
01:15:24,268 --> 01:15:27,299
You think I'm any less screwed up
than you are?
1160
01:15:27,333 --> 01:15:31,130
I get up every morning
and I look in the mirror
1161
01:15:32,295 --> 01:15:34,161
and I try and figure out
1162
01:15:36,060 --> 01:15:37,726
just where I fit in.
1163
01:15:39,490 --> 01:15:43,821
And I draw a complete blank.
1164
01:15:46,053 --> 01:15:49,317
And you guys are looking to me
to tell you what to do?
1165
01:15:50,050 --> 01:15:53,147
You need to stop listening to me.
1166
01:15:53,514 --> 01:15:54,913
(SIRENS WAILING)
1167
01:15:55,912 --> 01:16:00,043
And stop listening to people telling you
who you should be.
1168
01:16:00,109 --> 01:16:02,108
And stop listening to the people
that are telling you
1169
01:16:02,174 --> 01:16:04,239
you're not good enough
to do the things that you want to do!
1170
01:16:04,306 --> 01:16:05,306
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
1171
01:16:05,372 --> 01:16:06,671
You guys have all the answers.
1172
01:16:06,705 --> 01:16:08,037
You're under arrest for assault.
1173
01:16:08,104 --> 01:16:10,268
(STUDENTS BOOING)
1174
01:16:15,032 --> 01:16:16,431
Charlie!
1175
01:16:34,051 --> 01:16:36,849
STUDENTS CHANTING:
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
1176
01:16:36,916 --> 01:16:39,681
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
1177
01:16:39,747 --> 01:16:42,879
Okay, party's over.
I want you all out of here now!
1178
01:16:44,144 --> 01:16:46,142
Have I made myself abundantly clear?
1179
01:16:46,242 --> 01:16:47,741
We want to know
what the hell's gonna happen to Charlie.
1180
01:16:47,841 --> 01:16:48,741
- Yeah!
- ALL: Yeah!
1181
01:16:48,840 --> 01:16:50,339
I'd be more worried about yourselves.
1182
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:53,504
Thanks to him,
the Class of '83 Student Lounge
1183
01:16:53,604 --> 01:16:56,069
is now The Charlie Bartlett
Detention Center.
1184
01:16:56,135 --> 01:16:58,301
Bullshit! Come on!
1185
01:16:58,800 --> 01:17:00,332
Get the cameras!
1186
01:17:02,298 --> 01:17:07,394
Well, every time I feel you're
coming round, you're going down
1187
01:17:07,494 --> 01:17:12,258
You hit the ground with every force
It makes no sense or sound
1188
01:17:12,490 --> 01:17:13,723
Emergency, Western Summit High School.
1189
01:17:14,189 --> 01:17:15,921
(STUDENTS WHOOPING)
1190
01:17:16,620 --> 01:17:20,884
God bless your soul, girl
Now you got the whole world
1191
01:17:20,984 --> 01:17:23,116
It's your eyes that make me smile
1192
01:17:23,250 --> 01:17:25,381
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
1193
01:17:27,047 --> 01:17:29,911
Well, I guess now is as good a time
as any to tell you.
1194
01:17:29,978 --> 01:17:31,444
You're fired.
1195
01:17:31,510 --> 01:17:32,609
(SIREN WAILING)
1196
01:17:32,676 --> 01:17:34,408
It's your eyes that make me smile
1197
01:17:34,475 --> 01:17:35,874
Come on.
1198
01:17:36,673 --> 01:17:39,171
Wasting time hanging out
1199
01:17:39,271 --> 01:17:41,270
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
1200
01:17:54,860 --> 01:17:57,925
Come on, Charlie.
Your mom's here to bail you out.
1201
01:17:58,990 --> 01:18:00,456
What's gonna happen to the other kids?
1202
01:18:00,523 --> 01:18:02,654
Well, there's gonna be an investigation.
1203
01:18:02,721 --> 01:18:04,120
But since all the cameras were destroyed,
1204
01:18:04,186 --> 01:18:07,784
they're gonna have a hard time
figuring out who did what.
1205
01:18:07,851 --> 01:18:10,782
Well, I'm prepared
to take full responsibility.
1206
01:18:11,481 --> 01:18:13,014
Charlie, go home.
1207
01:18:17,211 --> 01:18:20,641
- Are you mad?
- I don't know how to feel, Charlie.
1208
01:18:20,708 --> 01:18:23,772
Well, Mom, I think you should be mad
because I just got arrested
1209
01:18:23,839 --> 01:18:25,905
and a bunch of my friends
just trashed a building.
1210
01:18:26,005 --> 01:18:27,836
I am aware of that.
1211
01:18:27,903 --> 01:18:32,266
And I'm having a hard time being mad
at you when it just might be my fault.
1212
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,464
No, Mom, it's not your fault.
Don't say that.
1213
01:18:35,564 --> 01:18:37,163
No, some of it is.
1214
01:18:38,162 --> 01:18:42,226
I treated you like an adult for so long,
you missed out on being a little boy.
1215
01:18:42,259 --> 01:18:44,491
And now we're paying for it.
1216
01:18:44,557 --> 01:18:46,490
With a vengeance, I'd say.
1217
01:18:46,956 --> 01:18:49,188
But you are just a kid, Charlie.
1218
01:18:49,987 --> 01:18:51,986
You understand that, right?
1219
01:18:54,017 --> 01:18:58,082
And that doesn't change just
because I don't know what to do with you.
1220
01:18:58,781 --> 01:18:59,880
Mom.
1221
01:19:00,613 --> 01:19:03,344
I wouldn't know
what to do with me, either.
1222
01:19:06,242 --> 01:19:08,940
Well, I think it's safe to say
that you're grounded.
1223
01:19:08,974 --> 01:19:10,772
Really? How long?
1224
01:19:11,372 --> 01:19:14,570
That's a good question.
What is the standard?
1225
01:19:14,636 --> 01:19:16,634
Usually, like, 24 hours.
1226
01:19:17,634 --> 01:19:21,731
Well, seeing as you've acquired
a misdemeanor, we'd better make it 30.
1227
01:19:22,464 --> 01:19:23,563
Okay.
1228
01:19:31,723 --> 01:19:33,556
- Get in the car.
- Okay.
1229
01:19:47,446 --> 01:19:52,608
(SUSAN HUMMING
YANKEE DOODLE DAND Y)
1230
01:20:09,563 --> 01:20:12,261
(SIGHS)
1231
01:20:38,642 --> 01:20:40,308
- Hi.
- Hey!
1232
01:20:42,639 --> 01:20:44,105
How are you feeling?
1233
01:20:44,171 --> 01:20:47,036
A little nervous, I guess. But that's normal.
1234
01:20:47,636 --> 01:20:49,901
Yeah. How's your dad?
1235
01:20:51,033 --> 01:20:53,432
He's holed himself up in his study.
1236
01:20:54,131 --> 01:20:56,097
That's usually a bad sign.
1237
01:20:56,562 --> 01:20:58,195
You could've asked him to come,
you know.
1238
01:20:58,228 --> 01:20:59,994
Really? What am I going to say?
1239
01:21:00,027 --> 01:21:02,292
"Hey, Dad, you want to come
sit with a bunch of people
1240
01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:05,323
"that are really glad you were fired
and watch me on stage?"
1241
01:21:11,785 --> 01:21:13,217
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1242
01:21:16,782 --> 01:21:17,981
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1243
01:21:22,011 --> 01:21:23,143
Hello?
1244
01:21:27,207 --> 01:21:28,474
Hello?
1245
01:21:29,673 --> 01:21:31,271
Principal Gardner?
1246
01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:34,935
Hello? Principal Gardner?
1247
01:21:36,701 --> 01:21:38,899
It's me, sir. Charlie Bartlett.
1248
01:21:40,698 --> 01:21:41,730
Hello?
1249
01:21:41,964 --> 01:21:43,396
(BOTTLE TOOTING)
1250
01:21:43,496 --> 01:21:44,695
Hello?
1251
01:21:45,694 --> 01:21:48,092
Oh, this better be good, Charles.
1252
01:21:49,891 --> 01:21:52,322
I came to invite you to the play.
1253
01:21:52,389 --> 01:21:56,386
Well, thank you for that,
but I am just a little tied up right now.
1254
01:21:56,919 --> 01:22:00,284
- What are you doing?
- Venting. Just venting a little bit.
1255
01:22:00,351 --> 01:22:02,615
Is that your new word of the day?
1256
01:22:02,715 --> 01:22:03,614
Sure as shit is.
1257
01:22:03,748 --> 01:22:04,747
(EX CLAIMS)
1258
01:22:04,813 --> 01:22:07,146
Word of the day, "venting."
1259
01:22:07,578 --> 01:22:12,375
Explanation. That's kind of how I deal
with my little life's frustrations. I vent.
1260
01:22:12,475 --> 01:22:16,472
As in "to vent," original derivation
from the Latin exventare.
1261
01:22:16,539 --> 01:22:17,938
Jesus!
1262
01:22:18,404 --> 01:22:21,535
Everybody needs to vent a little
now and again, don't you figure?
1263
01:22:21,601 --> 01:22:24,466
Some of us are privileged enough
to vent to you in the boys' room stall,
1264
01:22:24,533 --> 01:22:27,097
and the rest of us just have to settle
for less conventional methods.
1265
01:22:27,131 --> 01:22:28,963
Like, I don't know,
a bottle of booze and a handgun.
1266
01:22:29,063 --> 01:22:29,962
(GUN FIRES)
1267
01:22:30,995 --> 01:22:34,692
I'm sorry. I'm not putting you on edge
with my behavior, am I?
1268
01:22:35,159 --> 01:22:36,857
That's all right.
1269
01:22:37,457 --> 01:22:38,956
Maybe you could put the gun down.
1270
01:22:39,056 --> 01:22:42,353
Park it, Chuck!
In case you're not aware of this,
1271
01:22:42,453 --> 01:22:44,952
I'm entirely displeased with you right now.
1272
01:22:45,051 --> 01:22:46,917
I was racking my brain to figure out why,
1273
01:22:46,950 --> 01:22:49,515
and I think it's because
you've taken everything from me.
1274
01:22:49,581 --> 01:22:51,280
Why did you do that?
1275
01:22:52,746 --> 01:22:55,377
Do you have anything enlightening
to say to me right now? 'Cause if you do,
1276
01:22:55,477 --> 01:22:58,142
I'd appreciate it if you'd spit it out.
1277
01:22:58,175 --> 01:22:59,341
I don't know.
1278
01:22:59,441 --> 01:23:02,506
Maybe some of
that post-pubescent psychobabble?
1279
01:23:03,471 --> 01:23:05,470
Maybe a pearl of wisdom?
1280
01:23:05,537 --> 01:23:07,702
I don't know what to say to you.
1281
01:23:07,768 --> 01:23:10,900
I mean, I don't know how to help you.
I really want to.
1282
01:23:10,966 --> 01:23:13,264
Come on, Doctor!
What have you got for me?
1283
01:23:13,298 --> 01:23:15,363
I don't know what you want from me.
1284
01:23:15,463 --> 01:23:19,627
I don't need you to say anything to me
and I don't need you to save me!
1285
01:23:20,626 --> 01:23:22,757
All right, then, what am I supposed to do
in this situation?
1286
01:23:22,857 --> 01:23:26,255
You know, I'm just a kid!
I'm just a stupid kid!
1287
01:23:27,421 --> 01:23:31,151
Stop the fucking presses.
Run that by me again. You're a what?
1288
01:23:31,251 --> 01:23:32,684
I'm just a kid.
1289
01:23:34,449 --> 01:23:35,648
I get it.
1290
01:23:36,448 --> 01:23:38,813
It's tough. I was a kid once, too.
1291
01:23:41,278 --> 01:23:42,510
Oh, fuck!
1292
01:23:51,237 --> 01:23:53,103
(MUTTERING INAUDIBLY)
1293
01:23:55,901 --> 01:23:56,933
- No!
- What are you...
1294
01:23:57,000 --> 01:23:57,932
(GRUNTS)
1295
01:24:16,053 --> 01:24:18,817
(COUGHING)
1296
01:24:18,884 --> 01:24:21,349
What the hell did you do that for?
1297
01:24:22,282 --> 01:24:24,247
You were going to kill yourself.
1298
01:24:24,313 --> 01:24:27,678
I can't kill myself.
I've got too many responsibilities.
1299
01:24:30,209 --> 01:24:31,408
You okay?
1300
01:24:32,841 --> 01:24:33,906
Yeah.
1301
01:24:36,005 --> 01:24:40,002
Never, never attack a drunk guy
with a gun. Do you understand?
1302
01:24:40,069 --> 01:24:41,468
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
1303
01:24:43,200 --> 01:24:46,065
Come on. Let's get cleaned up.
1304
01:24:47,730 --> 01:24:48,863
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1305
01:24:50,528 --> 01:24:52,927
Hey, Charlie. See if that fits.
1306
01:24:54,591 --> 01:24:56,257
- Thank you.
- Sure.
1307
01:24:58,389 --> 01:25:00,621
How's your head? You all right?
1308
01:25:01,420 --> 01:25:02,686
It's okay.
1309
01:25:03,719 --> 01:25:06,850
Well, we should go
'cause we're going to miss the play.
1310
01:25:06,917 --> 01:25:09,780
I doubt she's going to be happy to see me.
1311
01:25:09,814 --> 01:25:13,312
No, you're her father,
1312
01:25:13,412 --> 01:25:17,242
and she loves you very much,
and you're totally missing it.
1313
01:25:23,471 --> 01:25:24,804
Fair enough.
1314
01:25:27,068 --> 01:25:29,866
- What about you?
- What about me, what?
1315
01:25:30,566 --> 01:25:32,398
What about your father?
1316
01:25:33,098 --> 01:25:35,762
You know, when I checked up on you,
I was half-hoping to find something
1317
01:25:35,829 --> 01:25:38,860
to make me feel justified
in kicking your ass out.
1318
01:25:40,658 --> 01:25:42,857
Then I found out about him.
1319
01:25:46,788 --> 01:25:49,286
There are worse crimes than tax evasion.
1320
01:25:49,352 --> 01:25:52,384
Yeah, but it's not worth
losing your father over.
1321
01:25:53,383 --> 01:25:56,081
Okay, so, stay mad at him forever.
1322
01:25:57,047 --> 01:25:59,045
How's that working for you?
1323
01:26:00,444 --> 01:26:02,776
Some days are better than others.
1324
01:26:07,439 --> 01:26:11,603
LANCE: Come on, Monica. Just try it.
It'll give you such a high.
1325
01:26:11,670 --> 01:26:14,201
My God, you are, like,
totally peer-pressuring me.
1326
01:26:14,234 --> 01:26:16,000
I've never done it before.
1327
01:26:16,067 --> 01:26:18,798
Just do it. Trust me.
You know you want to.
1328
01:26:20,497 --> 01:26:23,694
I just don't know anymore.
She used to be my little girl.
1329
01:26:23,761 --> 01:26:26,459
I mean, what do you think
they're doing behind that door?
1330
01:26:26,492 --> 01:26:28,158
There's no way to know that.
1331
01:26:28,224 --> 01:26:32,688
And, besides, isn't it more interesting
to just trust them and see what happens?
1332
01:26:34,653 --> 01:26:37,851
I just don't understand why it's
so important to you that I do this.
1333
01:26:37,951 --> 01:26:40,415
'Cause it's fun and it'll feel good.
1334
01:26:42,214 --> 01:26:44,080
Okay, I'll give it a try.
1335
01:26:50,942 --> 01:26:55,838
(PLA YS ARPEGGIO ON GUITAR)
1336
01:26:55,871 --> 01:27:00,068
(SINGING) If you wanna sing out, sing out
1337
01:27:01,267 --> 01:27:05,597
If you wanna be free, be free
1338
01:27:07,463 --> 01:27:11,560
There's a million things to be
1339
01:27:12,259 --> 01:27:15,990
You know that there are
1340
01:27:16,789 --> 01:27:21,453
If you wanna live high, live high
1341
01:27:22,652 --> 01:27:27,182
If you wanna live low, live low
1342
01:27:28,448 --> 01:27:32,812
There's a million ways to go
1343
01:27:33,244 --> 01:27:36,442
You know that there are
1344
01:27:39,307 --> 01:27:43,104
You can do what you want
1345
01:27:44,836 --> 01:27:48,334
The opportunity's on
1346
01:27:50,299 --> 01:27:54,596
And if you find a new way
1347
01:27:56,328 --> 01:28:00,325
You can do it today
1348
01:28:01,957 --> 01:28:05,288
You can make it all true
1349
01:28:07,420 --> 01:28:10,984
And you can make it undo
1350
01:28:11,084 --> 01:28:13,283
You see
1351
01:28:15,714 --> 01:28:21,277
You only need to know
1352
01:28:24,940 --> 01:28:29,104
If you wanna say yes, say yes
1353
01:28:30,470 --> 01:28:34,733
If you wanna say no, say no
1354
01:28:36,132 --> 01:28:40,363
There's a million ways to go
1355
01:28:40,896 --> 01:28:44,693
You know that there are
1356
01:28:45,825 --> 01:28:49,623
You know that there are
1357
01:28:52,388 --> 01:28:56,352
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1358
01:28:58,983 --> 01:29:01,714
I must say, of all the kids
applying for a summer internship,
1359
01:29:01,748 --> 01:29:04,312
you have quite a checkered history.
1360
01:29:04,379 --> 01:29:07,010
I understand. And I'm sure
you have a whole stack of people
1361
01:29:07,077 --> 01:29:11,207
with perfect backgrounds
and no disciplinary record.
1362
01:29:14,272 --> 01:29:17,203
Really, I'd do anything to work here.
1363
01:29:17,303 --> 01:29:21,733
Well, let's get on with the interview.
I've got a hell of a day ahead of me.
1364
01:29:22,333 --> 01:29:24,564
Would you like to talk about it?