1 00:00:09,673 --> 00:00:12,303 Well, here we are. Hedgewick's World! 2 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:15,663 The biggest and best amusement park there will ever be 3 00:00:15,663 --> 00:00:17,353 and we've got a golden ticket. 4 00:00:17,353 --> 00:00:20,463 Eh, eh? Fun! Fun? 5 00:00:20,463 --> 00:00:23,396 Your stupid box can't even get us to the right place. 6 00:00:23,396 --> 00:00:26,543 This is like a moon base or something. Well, it's not the moon. 7 00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:30,013 Actually, I think it does look like the moon, only dirtier. 8 00:00:30,013 --> 00:00:31,453 Hey, guys. 9 00:00:31,453 --> 00:00:33,103 It's not the moon, okay? 10 00:00:33,103 --> 00:00:35,543 It's a Spacey Zoomer ride, or it was. 11 00:00:35,543 --> 00:00:36,973 Psst! Excuse I. 12 00:00:36,973 --> 00:00:39,503 I don't suppose you happen to be my lift off planet? 13 00:00:39,503 --> 00:00:42,383 Dave's Discount Interstellar Removals? Afraid not. 14 00:00:42,383 --> 00:00:44,243 You know, they were meant to be here six months ago. 15 00:00:44,243 --> 00:00:46,903 Well, that's Dave for you, see, unreliable. 16 00:00:46,903 --> 00:00:48,623 Stay where you are! Whoops! 17 00:00:48,873 --> 00:00:50,903 Throw down your weapons and identify yourselves. 18 00:00:51,663 --> 00:00:53,423 No! No weapons! 19 00:00:53,723 --> 00:00:57,063 Golden ticket! Spacey Zoomer? Free ice cream? 20 00:00:57,063 --> 00:00:58,223 Who are you? 21 00:00:58,223 --> 00:01:00,913 This planet is closed, by Imperial order. 22 00:01:00,913 --> 00:01:02,303 How's this? 23 00:01:04,043 --> 00:01:07,163 Welcome, Proconsul. I wish they'd told us you were coming. 24 00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:09,113 Any news of the Emperor? Oh, the Emperor... 25 00:01:09,113 --> 00:01:11,263 No, no, none that you'd... 26 00:01:12,023 --> 00:01:13,623 We pray for his return. 27 00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:16,983 If there is anything you need, my platoon is at your service. 28 00:01:16,983 --> 00:01:20,503 Right. Righty-oh. Well, carry on, Captain. 29 00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:23,753 Platoon, let's move out. 30 00:01:23,753 --> 00:01:26,273 On the double. Two, three, four. 31 00:01:26,273 --> 00:01:28,813 Two, three, four. Two, three, four. 32 00:01:29,271 --> 00:01:31,227 Have they gone? Yes. 33 00:01:31,503 --> 00:01:33,753 Uniforms give me the heebie-jeebies. 34 00:01:33,753 --> 00:01:35,383 Come on. 35 00:01:37,143 --> 00:01:40,223 They can't stop me being here but they don't like it. 36 00:01:41,463 --> 00:01:42,773 You see? 37 00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:44,673 I told you it was amazing. 38 00:01:44,673 --> 00:01:46,003 Well, it used to be. 39 00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:47,233 It closed down. 40 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,003 Wish I'd known that before I landed here. 41 00:01:49,003 --> 00:01:51,453 But let me show you my collection. 42 00:01:51,453 --> 00:01:53,263 Come along, follow me, this way. 43 00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:55,163 This way in, come on. 44 00:01:55,803 --> 00:01:59,383 Welcome to my show, Webley's World of Wonders. 45 00:01:59,383 --> 00:02:01,713 Miracles, marvels and more await you. 46 00:02:01,713 --> 00:02:04,630 I am Impresario Webley. 47 00:02:05,983 --> 00:02:09,713 You see before you waxwork representations... 48 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,363 of the famous... 49 00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:14,623 and the infamous. 50 00:02:14,623 --> 00:02:17,423 Anybody here play chess? 51 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,833 Perhaps you, young man. 52 00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:21,993 Actually, I'm in my school chess club. 53 00:02:21,993 --> 00:02:23,863 Ah, follow me. 54 00:02:27,051 --> 00:02:29,223 Now, let me demonstrate to you all 55 00:02:29,223 --> 00:02:33,133 the wonder of the age, the miracle of modernity. 56 00:02:33,133 --> 00:02:35,743 We defeated them all a thousand years ago 57 00:02:35,743 --> 00:02:38,153 but now he's back... 58 00:02:38,153 --> 00:02:40,033 to destroy you. 59 00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:42,063 Behold, the enemy! 60 00:02:42,873 --> 00:02:44,823 Cyberman! Get down! 61 00:03:20,403 --> 00:03:22,403 No need to panic, my young friends. 62 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,833 We all know there are no more living Cybermen. 63 00:03:24,833 --> 00:03:27,023 What you are seeing is a miracle. 64 00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:30,823 The 699th wonder of the universe, 65 00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:33,353 as displayed before the Imperial Court, 66 00:03:33,353 --> 00:03:36,063 and only here to destroy you at chess. 67 00:03:36,063 --> 00:03:37,373 Careful, now. 68 00:03:37,373 --> 00:03:38,973 An empty shell. 69 00:03:38,973 --> 00:03:40,793 And yet it moves. 70 00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:42,703 How? Magic. 71 00:03:42,703 --> 00:03:44,903 That might well be, young lady. 72 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,663 But a single penny 73 00:03:47,663 --> 00:03:51,313 wins you five Imperial shillings 74 00:03:51,313 --> 00:03:54,743 if you can beat this empty shell at chess. 75 00:03:54,983 --> 00:03:58,523 I haven't got a penny but I've got a sandwich. 76 00:03:58,523 --> 00:04:00,863 All right, take a seat. 77 00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:07,578 It is free of all devices, and yet it has never been beaten. 78 00:04:08,703 --> 00:04:11,303 Would you like to make the first move, young man? 79 00:04:17,483 --> 00:04:19,743 Oh, no, Artie. No, don't do that, it... 80 00:04:20,783 --> 00:04:23,383 That's a fool's mate. 81 00:04:24,423 --> 00:04:26,767 If you can tell me how it works, I'll give you a silver penny. 82 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:30,583 I think you do it with mirrors? 83 00:04:31,123 --> 00:04:32,943 Hmm, mirrors. 84 00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:34,113 Clever girl. 85 00:04:34,103 --> 00:04:36,825 Well, let's see, hey? Low tech. 86 00:04:36,825 --> 00:04:40,925 It's a puppet, monofilament strings, which means the brains are in... 87 00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:44,093 Hello. Hello. 88 00:04:44,093 --> 00:04:46,345 I'm the brains. Hello. Give us a hand. 89 00:04:50,993 --> 00:04:54,383 They call me Porridge. Oh, it's good to be out of that box. 90 00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:56,305 For you, miss... 91 00:04:58,746 --> 00:05:00,611 an Imperial penny. 92 00:05:04,703 --> 00:05:08,889 I have not one but three Cybermen in my collection. 93 00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,863 Is that the king? Emperor. 94 00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:15,603 Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, et cetera, et cetera, the 41st. 95 00:05:15,603 --> 00:05:19,253 Defender of humanity, imperator of known space. 96 00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:20,703 He looks a bit full of himself. 97 00:05:20,703 --> 00:05:22,563 Don't say things like that about the Imperial family. 98 00:05:22,563 --> 00:05:24,263 You can end up on the run for the rest of your life. 99 00:05:24,263 --> 00:05:26,403 They don't sound very nice. 100 00:05:26,923 --> 00:05:28,063 Go on. 101 00:05:28,063 --> 00:05:29,723 If the kids want to ride the Spacey Zoomer, 102 00:05:29,723 --> 00:05:31,623 then I can operate the gravity console. 103 00:05:32,243 --> 00:05:33,570 Angie! 104 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:44,023 Smile! Say "Spacey Zoomer". 105 00:05:45,193 --> 00:05:48,023 Look at me! Doctor, we're flying! 106 00:05:48,023 --> 00:05:49,993 You having a good time? 107 00:05:56,673 --> 00:05:59,433 I think that was the most fun I've had in my whole life. 108 00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:01,263 It was... 109 00:06:01,263 --> 00:06:02,643 okay. 110 00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:07,423 Clara, I think outer space is actually very interesting. 111 00:06:07,423 --> 00:06:10,083 Right, wonderful day out, Doctor, but time to get the kids home. 112 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,955 Yeah. Um, no. 113 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,073 Not actually ready to leave. Why not? 114 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:15,373 Oh, you know. 115 00:06:15,373 --> 00:06:17,073 Reasons. What reasons? 116 00:06:17,073 --> 00:06:19,263 Insects, funny insects. 117 00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:21,513 I should add them to my funny insect collection. 118 00:06:21,513 --> 00:06:24,443 You collect funny insects? Yeah, I'm starting to. 119 00:06:24,988 --> 00:06:26,593 Right now. 120 00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:30,733 How long do we have to stay here? Not long. 121 00:06:30,733 --> 00:06:33,083 Have a nap. I'll wake you when we're ready to leave. 122 00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:35,573 Comfy? Sleep well. 123 00:06:35,573 --> 00:06:36,990 Good night. 124 00:06:40,293 --> 00:06:41,878 Don't wander off. 125 00:06:41,878 --> 00:06:45,134 Now, I'm not just saying, don't wander off, I mean it. 126 00:06:45,134 --> 00:06:48,713 Otherwise you'll wander off, and the next thing you know, 127 00:06:48,713 --> 00:06:51,623 somebody's going to have to start rescuing somebody. 128 00:06:51,623 --> 00:06:53,623 From what? Nothing. 129 00:06:53,923 --> 00:06:56,323 Nobody needs rescuing from anything. 130 00:06:57,053 --> 00:06:58,578 Don't wander off. 131 00:06:59,073 --> 00:07:00,523 Sweet dreams. 132 00:07:13,793 --> 00:07:16,823 Total takings for the day, one sandwich. 133 00:07:17,173 --> 00:07:20,145 Better than no sandwich, of course. Not as good as two sandwiches... 134 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,983 or even a chicken. 135 00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:26,263 That's a bit odd. That's not funny. 136 00:07:26,263 --> 00:07:28,143 Give me my hands back. 137 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:41,223 Upgrade in progress. 138 00:07:41,223 --> 00:07:43,843 I hate the future. It's stupid. 139 00:07:43,843 --> 00:07:46,203 There's not even phone service. I'm out of here. 140 00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:47,783 The Doctor said not to wander off. 141 00:07:47,783 --> 00:07:50,953 He said that, and then he wandered off. 142 00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:53,463 I don't think Clara would like that. She's not our mum. 143 00:07:54,153 --> 00:07:56,003 Don't leave me here. 144 00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:01,423 Was this really the biggest amusement park in the universe? 145 00:08:01,423 --> 00:08:03,523 Yeah. Hedgewick bought the planet cheap. 146 00:08:03,523 --> 00:08:05,273 It had been trashed in the Cyberwars. 147 00:08:05,273 --> 00:08:07,903 Who were we fighting? Cybermen. 148 00:08:07,903 --> 00:08:11,063 Technologically upgraded warriors. We couldn't win. 149 00:08:11,063 --> 00:08:13,743 Sometimes we fought to a draw, but then they'd upgrade themselves, 150 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,903 fix their weaknesses and destroy us. 151 00:08:15,903 --> 00:08:18,473 It's hard to fight an enemy that uses your armies as spare parts. 152 00:08:18,473 --> 00:08:21,843 You beat them, though, beat them or you wouldn't be here. How? 153 00:08:21,843 --> 00:08:23,233 Look up there. 154 00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:24,973 That corner of sky. What do you see? 155 00:08:24,973 --> 00:08:26,263 Nothing. 156 00:08:26,263 --> 00:08:28,183 It's just black. 157 00:08:28,183 --> 00:08:29,973 No stars, no nothing. 158 00:08:29,973 --> 00:08:32,543 Well, it used to be the Tiberian Spiral Galaxy. 159 00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:33,973 A million star systems, 160 00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:37,553 a hundred million worlds, a billion trillion people. 161 00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:40,823 It's not there any more. No more Tiberian Galaxy. 162 00:08:41,073 --> 00:08:42,919 No more Cybermen. 163 00:08:43,863 --> 00:08:45,223 It was effective. 164 00:08:45,223 --> 00:08:47,363 It's horrible. Yeah. 165 00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:51,423 I feel like a monster sometimes. Why? 166 00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:54,743 Because instead of mourning a billion trillion dead people, 167 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,463 I just feel sorry for the poor blighter 168 00:08:56,463 --> 00:08:58,263 that had to press the button and blow it all up. 169 00:08:58,263 --> 00:08:59,463 Clara? 170 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,073 Did you tell Angie she could go to the barracks? 171 00:09:02,073 --> 00:09:03,903 You know I didn't. 172 00:09:03,903 --> 00:09:05,702 She hasn't... She's just gone in there. 173 00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:08,339 Come on. 174 00:09:09,953 --> 00:09:12,853 I can't fix this. It can't be broken. 175 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,433 It's a solid state sub-ether ansible class communicator. 176 00:09:15,433 --> 00:09:16,953 Just run the diagnostics. 177 00:09:16,953 --> 00:09:18,763 There's nothing left to diagnose. 178 00:09:18,763 --> 00:09:20,783 It's not broken, it's empty. 179 00:09:20,783 --> 00:09:22,243 All the components have gone. 180 00:09:22,243 --> 00:09:24,113 Well, you must have replacement parts. 181 00:09:24,113 --> 00:09:25,715 Not enough to build a new one. 182 00:09:25,715 --> 00:09:27,863 Captain, the weather controller is malfunctioning again. 183 00:09:27,863 --> 00:09:30,846 There's storms, heat waves, snow. 184 00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:34,103 Hello? I'm bored. 185 00:09:34,513 --> 00:09:38,062 Where's your big sister? Clara? She's not my sister. 186 00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:39,593 She's stupid. 187 00:09:39,593 --> 00:09:41,513 She's talking to Porridge. 188 00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:43,035 She talks to her porridge? 189 00:09:43,035 --> 00:09:45,721 Porridge. That little bloke. 190 00:09:47,843 --> 00:09:49,983 We need to have a chat. 191 00:09:55,193 --> 00:09:56,923 I'm not scared, 192 00:09:56,923 --> 00:09:58,833 if you're wondering. 193 00:09:58,833 --> 00:10:00,213 I just think 194 00:10:00,213 --> 00:10:02,426 I ought to turn the lights back on. 195 00:10:37,423 --> 00:10:39,593 So, tell me about the little bloke. 196 00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:41,723 Well, you must have seen him. Angie! 197 00:10:41,723 --> 00:10:44,423 She always has to turn up and spoil everything. 198 00:10:44,423 --> 00:10:45,923 I wasn't doing anything. 199 00:10:45,923 --> 00:10:48,193 Why can't you just leave me alone? 200 00:10:51,983 --> 00:10:53,943 Cyberman! Angie! 201 00:10:55,463 --> 00:10:57,423 Attack formation! 202 00:10:58,863 --> 00:10:59,783 No! 203 00:11:02,013 --> 00:11:04,103 Attack formation, quickly! 204 00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:10,463 Upgrade in progress. 205 00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:11,903 Angie! 206 00:11:25,063 --> 00:11:27,253 Angie! Clara, Clara! 207 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,383 That was a Cyberman. But they're extinct. 208 00:11:29,383 --> 00:11:32,903 Listen to me, I will get her back. Captain, a word, please. 209 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,693 Now, correct me if I'm wrong, 210 00:11:35,693 --> 00:11:38,263 but I take it your platoon doesn't do much fighting. 211 00:11:38,263 --> 00:11:40,293 What do you expect? What? 212 00:11:40,293 --> 00:11:42,083 We're a punishment platoon. 213 00:11:42,083 --> 00:11:44,993 It's why they sent us out here, so we can't get into trouble. 214 00:11:46,903 --> 00:11:48,233 Right, right, well, okay. 215 00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:51,503 As Imperial Consul, I'm putting Clara in charge. 216 00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,383 Clara, stay alive until I get back, 217 00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,803 and don't let anyone blow up this planet. 218 00:11:56,553 --> 00:11:58,543 Is that something they're likely to do? 219 00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,653 Get to somewhere defensible. Where are you going? 220 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:04,323 I'm getting Angie, finding Artie, and looking for funny insects. 221 00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:05,443 Stay alive. 222 00:12:05,443 --> 00:12:07,123 And you lot... 223 00:12:07,123 --> 00:12:09,653 no blowing up this planet! 224 00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:16,515 Put me down! I hate you! 225 00:12:18,523 --> 00:12:21,267 Artie? Artie, what's happening? 226 00:12:23,913 --> 00:12:26,063 Please stand by. 227 00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:28,266 You will be upgraded. 228 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:36,955 Cyberiad class weaponry. I've taken it out of storage. 229 00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:39,863 Good. We need to find somewhere defensible. 230 00:12:39,863 --> 00:12:41,222 Where? 231 00:12:41,222 --> 00:12:42,703 The Beach... 232 00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:44,373 Giant's Cauldron... 233 00:12:44,373 --> 00:12:46,423 Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle. 234 00:12:46,423 --> 00:12:48,263 Real castle? Drawbridge? Moat? 235 00:12:48,263 --> 00:12:50,603 Yes, but comical. 236 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,683 We'll go there. Ma'am... 237 00:12:52,683 --> 00:12:55,773 my platoon can deal with one Cyberman, and there are protocols 238 00:12:55,773 --> 00:12:57,970 if we cannot immediately find and destroy it. 239 00:12:57,970 --> 00:13:00,223 Blowing up the planet protocols? Respectfully, ma'am... 240 00:13:00,223 --> 00:13:03,223 Somewhere defensible. No blowing up the planet. 241 00:13:03,703 --> 00:13:06,743 She's your commanding officer now, isn't she, Captain? 242 00:13:10,363 --> 00:13:11,743 Yes... 243 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,583 sir. 244 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:20,463 You really saw a Cyberman? We really did. 245 00:13:20,463 --> 00:13:22,283 Have you reported it to the Imperium? 246 00:13:22,283 --> 00:13:23,503 No communicators. 247 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,713 So you're going to do what she says. 248 00:13:25,713 --> 00:13:28,903 Right, let's all spend the night at Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle. 249 00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:32,367 Artie? 250 00:13:39,703 --> 00:13:41,176 Firstly... 251 00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:45,273 if anybody's watching this, those children are under my protection. 252 00:13:45,273 --> 00:13:47,233 I'm coming to get them. 253 00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,123 And secondly... 254 00:13:49,123 --> 00:13:51,283 little metal machine... 255 00:13:51,993 --> 00:13:54,363 you are beautiful. 256 00:14:03,453 --> 00:14:06,323 Not even a Cybermat any more, eh? 257 00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:08,865 Cybermites. 258 00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:16,783 Now... 259 00:14:16,783 --> 00:14:19,003 there's a local transmat link open to your home. 260 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:21,343 If I can just find the frequency... 261 00:14:24,503 --> 00:14:26,203 Hey, that really shouldn't have worked. 262 00:14:26,203 --> 00:14:27,753 Doctor, help her. 263 00:14:27,753 --> 00:14:29,363 Angie! Artie! 264 00:14:34,783 --> 00:14:36,003 Webley? 265 00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:37,583 We needed children, 266 00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:39,433 but the children had stopped coming. 267 00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:41,183 You brought us children. 268 00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:43,343 Hail to you, the Doctor, 269 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:45,186 saviour of the Cybermen! 270 00:14:47,106 --> 00:14:49,273 What would the Empire do if they were alerted? 271 00:14:49,273 --> 00:14:51,623 I told you, tell me to blow up the planet. 272 00:14:51,623 --> 00:14:53,423 After they got us off? 273 00:14:53,783 --> 00:14:57,423 Captain, you want to take that one? No, ma'am. Just blow the sucker up. 274 00:14:57,423 --> 00:14:59,353 Drawbridge, moat, brilliant. 275 00:14:59,353 --> 00:15:02,473 With respect, ma'am, we ought to be hunting the creature. 276 00:15:02,473 --> 00:15:05,453 The only reason I'm still alive is because I do what the Doctor says. 277 00:15:05,453 --> 00:15:08,944 Can you guarantee me you'd bring me back my children alive and unharmed? 278 00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:12,503 I trust the Doctor. You think he knows what he's doing? 279 00:15:12,503 --> 00:15:15,023 I'm not sure I'd go that far. 280 00:15:16,563 --> 00:15:19,943 As the battle raged between humanity and the Cyberiad, 281 00:15:19,943 --> 00:15:22,183 the Cyber-Planners built a Valkyrie, 282 00:15:22,183 --> 00:15:26,183 to save critically damaged units and bring them here and, 283 00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:28,263 one by one, repair them. 284 00:15:28,263 --> 00:15:30,743 The people who vanished from the amusement park, 285 00:15:30,743 --> 00:15:34,503 they were spare parts for repairs? 286 00:15:34,503 --> 00:15:36,263 We've upgraded ourselves. 287 00:15:36,263 --> 00:15:38,263 The next model will be undefeatable. 288 00:15:38,263 --> 00:15:40,283 Nothing's undefeatable. 289 00:15:40,283 --> 00:15:43,626 We needed children to build a new Cyber-Planner. 290 00:15:44,061 --> 00:15:46,943 A child's brain, with its infinite potential, 291 00:15:46,943 --> 00:15:50,823 is perfect for our needs. But we no longer need the children. 292 00:15:50,823 --> 00:15:54,913 The Cybermites have been scanning your brain, Doctor. 293 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,223 It's quite remarkable. 294 00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,233 Also completely useless to you. 295 00:15:58,233 --> 00:16:00,413 Cybermen use human parts. 296 00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:03,613 I'm not human. 297 00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:05,803 You can't convert non-humans. 298 00:16:05,803 --> 00:16:09,663 Well, that was true a long time ago, but we've upgraded ourselves. 299 00:16:09,663 --> 00:16:13,865 Current Cyber units use almost any living components. 300 00:16:28,803 --> 00:16:31,083 Incorporated, yes. 301 00:16:32,393 --> 00:16:34,683 Unfamiliar pulmonary set-up. 302 00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:39,757 Nervous system hyperconductive. Remarkable brain processing speed. 303 00:16:42,783 --> 00:16:44,743 Amazing. 304 00:16:45,863 --> 00:16:47,383 Get out of my head! 305 00:16:47,383 --> 00:16:49,913 Stop rummaging in my mind! 306 00:16:49,913 --> 00:16:52,283 Just you try and stop me. 307 00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:56,683 Who's Clara? Why are you thinking about her so much? 308 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,143 Enough. 309 00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:00,663 Fascinating. A complete mental block. 310 00:17:00,663 --> 00:17:02,023 Highly effective. 311 00:17:02,793 --> 00:17:04,423 Relax, relax. 312 00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:08,383 If you just relax, you will find this a perfectly pleasant experience. 313 00:17:08,383 --> 00:17:10,673 You are being upgraded and incorporated 314 00:17:10,673 --> 00:17:13,381 into the Cyberiad as a Cyber-Planner. 315 00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:15,863 Get out of my head! 316 00:17:16,263 --> 00:17:18,743 What is this place? A network? A hive? 317 00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:21,503 You're getting signals from every Cyberman everywhere. 318 00:17:21,503 --> 00:17:23,563 How many of you are there? 319 00:17:26,903 --> 00:17:29,423 This is brilliant! 320 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,323 I'm so clever already, 321 00:17:31,323 --> 00:17:33,993 and now I'm a million times more clever. 322 00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:35,293 And what a brain. 323 00:17:35,293 --> 00:17:39,763 Not a human brain, not even slightly human. 324 00:17:39,763 --> 00:17:42,963 I mean, I'm going to have to completely rework the neural interface, but this 325 00:17:42,963 --> 00:17:47,503 is going to be the most efficient... 326 00:17:47,503 --> 00:17:49,943 Cyber-Planner! 327 00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:53,143 Not a great name, that, is it? I could call myself... 328 00:17:53,143 --> 00:17:55,903 Mr. Clever. 329 00:17:55,903 --> 00:17:57,861 So much raw data. 330 00:17:57,861 --> 00:17:59,463 Time Lords. 331 00:17:59,463 --> 00:18:03,503 There's information on the Time Lords in here. 332 00:18:03,503 --> 00:18:07,583 Oh, this is just dreamy. 333 00:18:08,023 --> 00:18:09,503 Right... 334 00:18:09,503 --> 00:18:12,785 I'm allowing you access to memories on Time Lord regeneration. 335 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:20,983 Fantastic! I could regenerate now. 336 00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:24,403 Big blast of regeneration energy, burn out any little Cyber widgets 337 00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,973 in my brain, along with everything you're connected to. 338 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,313 Don't want to. Use this me up, eh, 339 00:18:29,313 --> 00:18:31,543 who knows what we'll get next? But I can. 340 00:18:33,933 --> 00:18:35,923 Stalemate, then. 341 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,793 One of us needs to control this head. 342 00:18:38,793 --> 00:18:41,663 We're too well-balanced. 343 00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:44,313 What did you say? No, no, no, no, 344 00:18:44,313 --> 00:18:45,703 I heard you. 345 00:18:45,703 --> 00:18:48,253 Rhetorical device to keep me thinking about it a bit more. 346 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,783 Stalemate. 347 00:18:50,053 --> 00:18:53,203 We each control 49.881% of this brain. 348 00:18:53,203 --> 00:18:56,101 0.238 of the brain is still in the balance. 349 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:57,783 Whoever gets this gets the whole thing. 350 00:18:57,783 --> 00:18:59,253 Do you play chess? 351 00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:00,963 The rules of chess are in my memory banks. 352 00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:03,423 You're proposing we play chess to end the stalemate? 353 00:19:03,423 --> 00:19:04,993 Winner takes all. Nobody can access 354 00:19:04,993 --> 00:19:08,023 that portion of the brain without winning the game. 355 00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:13,523 You can't win! 356 00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:15,873 Try me. 357 00:19:15,873 --> 00:19:18,743 You understand, when I do win... 358 00:19:18,743 --> 00:19:23,273 the Cyberiad gets your brains and memories. 359 00:19:23,273 --> 00:19:25,083 All of it. 360 00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:26,783 Yeah, when I win, 361 00:19:26,783 --> 00:19:28,783 you get out of my head, 362 00:19:28,783 --> 00:19:31,043 you let the children go, 363 00:19:31,043 --> 00:19:33,403 and nobody dies. 364 00:19:33,403 --> 00:19:35,103 You got that? 365 00:19:35,103 --> 00:19:37,463 Nobody dies! 366 00:19:43,493 --> 00:19:45,923 The castle's clear. Missy, confirm status. 367 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:48,223 All clear in the power station. 368 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:54,863 It's Missy. 369 00:19:55,493 --> 00:19:57,133 Something's out there. 370 00:19:57,133 --> 00:19:59,313 What do you mean? Is it the Cyberman? 371 00:19:59,313 --> 00:20:02,613 I don't know. I couldn't see it. It was only for a moment. 372 00:20:02,613 --> 00:20:05,579 Can I hide? Is it okay if I hide? 373 00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:09,663 Don't move! I'm in the army! 374 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,603 Oh, God. 375 00:20:34,991 --> 00:20:36,353 Uh, ma'am, Missy said 376 00:20:36,353 --> 00:20:38,953 she saw something and then she went quiet. 377 00:20:38,953 --> 00:20:42,143 It's on its way, then. Weapons. Show me. 378 00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:43,833 Only one gun? 379 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:46,423 Cybermen have been extinct for a thousand years. 380 00:20:46,423 --> 00:20:49,253 Even one Anti-Cyber Gun is a miracle. 381 00:20:49,253 --> 00:20:52,783 These things are hand pulsers. Touch the back of a Cyberman's head, 382 00:20:52,783 --> 00:20:55,623 the electromagnetic pulse deactivates it. 383 00:20:56,223 --> 00:20:57,543 And what's this for? 384 00:20:57,543 --> 00:21:00,103 Just a mad guess here, it blows up the planet? 385 00:21:00,103 --> 00:21:02,543 Implodes it. There's also a trigger unit. 386 00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:03,903 I'll have that, then. 387 00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:05,383 Is there any other way to activate the bomb? 388 00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:08,743 It's set to respond to my voice. I have the verbal code. 389 00:21:08,743 --> 00:21:11,223 You will not activate it without a direct order from me. 390 00:21:15,963 --> 00:21:17,823 I will follow my orders. 391 00:21:17,823 --> 00:21:20,593 Your orders come from me. 392 00:21:20,593 --> 00:21:22,043 Don't they? 393 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,113 You'll need to sign for that trigger unit, ma'am. 394 00:21:27,113 --> 00:21:28,233 Thanks. 395 00:21:28,233 --> 00:21:30,907 Mind if I take one of these? Might be handy. 396 00:21:32,627 --> 00:21:33,693 Help yourself. 397 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:36,743 I'll teach you how to use it. Upstairs. Now! 398 00:21:40,543 --> 00:21:41,853 There. 399 00:21:41,853 --> 00:21:43,343 That was easy. 400 00:21:43,923 --> 00:21:45,603 The game... 401 00:21:45,603 --> 00:21:47,313 has just started. 402 00:21:47,313 --> 00:21:48,463 Doctor... 403 00:21:48,463 --> 00:21:53,303 why is there no record of you anywhere in the data banks of the Cyberiad? 404 00:21:55,463 --> 00:21:57,143 You're good. 405 00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:01,843 Oh, you've been eliminating yourself from history. 406 00:22:02,873 --> 00:22:05,983 You know, you could be reconstructed by the hole you've left. 407 00:22:09,143 --> 00:22:11,863 Good point. I'll do something about that. 408 00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:14,539 The rules of chess allow only a finite number of moves. 409 00:22:14,539 --> 00:22:16,713 And I can use other Cyber units as remote processors. 410 00:22:16,713 --> 00:22:19,054 You cannot possibly win! 411 00:22:19,054 --> 00:22:20,983 I can. I know things you don't. 412 00:22:20,983 --> 00:22:23,383 For example, did you know... 413 00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:25,653 very early versions of the Cyber operating system 414 00:22:25,653 --> 00:22:27,873 could be seriously scrambled by exposure to things, 415 00:22:27,873 --> 00:22:30,353 like gold or cleaning fluid? 416 00:22:30,353 --> 00:22:32,753 And what's interesting is... 417 00:22:32,753 --> 00:22:35,593 you're still running some of that code. 418 00:22:35,593 --> 00:22:37,353 Really? 419 00:22:37,353 --> 00:22:40,061 That's your secret weapon? 420 00:22:41,523 --> 00:22:43,423 Cleaning fluid? 421 00:22:44,523 --> 00:22:46,204 Nope. Gold. 422 00:22:48,153 --> 00:22:50,113 Like a charm. 423 00:22:50,113 --> 00:22:52,443 Right, you, Cyber... Webley. 424 00:22:52,443 --> 00:22:54,633 And you, kid... things. 425 00:22:54,633 --> 00:22:57,267 I'll bring the chess board. Let's get out of here. 426 00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,703 You knew it was me. 427 00:23:03,603 --> 00:23:05,503 I was in the Imperial Guard on Caspertine. 428 00:23:05,503 --> 00:23:07,463 Mostly just parades, but... 429 00:23:07,463 --> 00:23:09,343 I had the honour to guard the old Emperor. 430 00:23:09,343 --> 00:23:10,663 During the ice picnic. 431 00:23:10,663 --> 00:23:13,783 When the snow bears came and danced for us. That was a day. 432 00:23:13,783 --> 00:23:15,463 We're a punishment platoon. 433 00:23:15,463 --> 00:23:17,623 We can't beat a Cyberman. 434 00:23:17,623 --> 00:23:19,343 The Imperium has to know what's happening. 435 00:23:19,343 --> 00:23:20,979 Like you said, the communicators are out. 436 00:23:20,979 --> 00:23:23,783 The only way you can report this now is to activate the bomb. 437 00:23:23,783 --> 00:23:26,423 Yes. And I forbid you to do that. 438 00:23:26,423 --> 00:23:27,823 I don't get it. 439 00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:29,743 Why would you blow up a whole planet, and everybody on it, 440 00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:31,583 just to get rid of one Cyberman? 441 00:23:32,313 --> 00:23:34,823 We tried other ways, but they only work sometimes. 442 00:23:34,823 --> 00:23:37,693 So now we take drastic action. And it works. 443 00:23:37,693 --> 00:23:41,793 If you find a Cyberman and you can't destroy it immediately, 444 00:23:41,793 --> 00:23:43,983 you implode the planet. 445 00:23:43,983 --> 00:23:46,103 I was sent here because I didn't follow orders. 446 00:23:47,223 --> 00:23:49,303 I can make up for that. 447 00:23:51,423 --> 00:23:54,863 Put it down, I forbid you! Yeah. What she said. 448 00:23:54,863 --> 00:23:57,183 You ran away. I will do what I was brought up to do. 449 00:23:57,183 --> 00:23:59,583 Live for the Empire, fight for the Empire, 450 00:23:59,583 --> 00:24:00,623 die for the Empire. 451 00:24:00,623 --> 00:24:06,193 This is Captain Alice Ferrin, Imperial ID 19-Delta-13B. 452 00:24:06,193 --> 00:24:07,143 Activate... 453 00:24:07,143 --> 00:24:08,983 Cyberman! Get down! 454 00:24:20,233 --> 00:24:22,443 The Doctor said to get somewhere easily defensible, 455 00:24:22,443 --> 00:24:24,683 but if we just stay in the castle, it'll pick us off one by one. 456 00:24:24,683 --> 00:24:27,903 We have to take it out. Is that an order, ma'am? 457 00:24:32,023 --> 00:24:34,063 Yes. Good. 458 00:24:34,683 --> 00:24:35,843 You know what to do. 459 00:24:35,843 --> 00:24:39,413 Pulse to the back of the head. Fry the brain circuit interface. 460 00:24:39,413 --> 00:24:41,700 It's going to be hard to get in close enough. 461 00:25:18,423 --> 00:25:21,663 I've heard about the Cybermen since I was in my cradle. 462 00:25:21,663 --> 00:25:23,181 I'm not afraid of you! 463 00:25:24,423 --> 00:25:25,563 Now! 464 00:25:32,483 --> 00:25:35,203 Hold it right there! What's happening to them? 465 00:25:39,223 --> 00:25:41,113 One more step and I fire! 466 00:25:41,113 --> 00:25:42,953 No, don't fire that. 467 00:25:42,953 --> 00:25:45,143 A pulse will deactivate them. 468 00:25:45,143 --> 00:25:46,623 And anyway... 469 00:25:46,623 --> 00:25:49,223 it's a waste of charge. We may need it again. 470 00:25:49,223 --> 00:25:51,509 You don't think that was the only one, then? 471 00:25:59,053 --> 00:26:01,943 Don't shoot, don't shoot! I'm nice. Please, don't shoot. 472 00:26:01,943 --> 00:26:04,133 Hey, Clara, you haven't let them blow up the planet. 473 00:26:04,133 --> 00:26:05,513 Good job. Did you get the kids? 474 00:26:05,513 --> 00:26:07,223 Are they all right? What's going on? 475 00:26:07,223 --> 00:26:10,673 Um, a bit of a good news, bad news, good news again thing going on. 476 00:26:10,673 --> 00:26:13,323 So, good news, I kidnapped the Cyber-Planner 477 00:26:13,323 --> 00:26:15,383 and right now I'm sort of in control of this Cyberman. 478 00:26:15,383 --> 00:26:16,183 Bad news? 479 00:26:16,183 --> 00:26:18,093 Bad news, the Cyber-Planner's in my head. 480 00:26:18,093 --> 00:26:19,233 And... 481 00:26:19,233 --> 00:26:21,153 different bad news, 482 00:26:21,153 --> 00:26:22,935 the kids are... 483 00:26:22,935 --> 00:26:25,200 well, it's complicated. 484 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,783 Complicated how? 485 00:26:26,783 --> 00:26:28,583 Complicated as in... 486 00:26:28,583 --> 00:26:30,143 walking coma. 487 00:26:35,613 --> 00:26:38,353 Please tell me you can wake them up. Hope so. 488 00:26:38,353 --> 00:26:40,443 Other good news? Well, in other good news, 489 00:26:40,443 --> 00:26:42,943 there are a few more repaired and reactivated Cybermen on the way, 490 00:26:42,943 --> 00:26:45,713 and the Cyber-Planner's installing a patch for the gold thing. 491 00:26:45,713 --> 00:26:47,903 No, wait, that isn't good news, is it? 492 00:26:47,903 --> 00:26:50,383 Um, so, good news, 493 00:26:50,383 --> 00:26:53,393 I have a very good chance of winning my chess match. 494 00:26:53,393 --> 00:26:54,913 What? I'll explain later. 495 00:26:54,913 --> 00:26:57,263 In a bit of a hurry. Get me to a table. 496 00:26:57,263 --> 00:26:59,513 And somebody tie me up. 497 00:26:59,513 --> 00:27:01,546 Need hands free for chess. 498 00:27:02,633 --> 00:27:04,363 And immobilise me. 499 00:27:04,803 --> 00:27:06,027 Quickly. 500 00:27:06,903 --> 00:27:07,903 Right, that's good. 501 00:27:07,903 --> 00:27:09,903 I won't be able to move, but hands free. Good. 502 00:27:09,903 --> 00:27:12,628 You're playing chess with yourself? And winning. 503 00:27:14,323 --> 00:27:15,896 Actually... 504 00:27:15,896 --> 00:27:18,863 he has no better than a 25% chance of winning at this stage in the game. 505 00:27:18,863 --> 00:27:21,483 Some very dodgy moves at the beginning. 506 00:27:21,483 --> 00:27:23,953 Hello, flesh girl. Fantastic! 507 00:27:23,953 --> 00:27:26,143 I'm the Cyber-Planner. Doctor? 508 00:27:26,143 --> 00:27:28,383 Afraid not. I'm working the mouth now. 509 00:27:28,383 --> 00:27:29,783 Allons-y! 510 00:27:29,783 --> 00:27:31,563 Oh, you should see the state of these neurons. 511 00:27:31,563 --> 00:27:34,293 He's had some cowboys in here. Ten complete re-jigs. 512 00:27:34,293 --> 00:27:36,183 You aren't the Doctor. No... 513 00:27:36,183 --> 00:27:37,983 but I know who you are. 514 00:27:37,983 --> 00:27:40,713 You're the impossible girl. 515 00:27:40,713 --> 00:27:44,083 Oh, he's very interested in you. 516 00:27:44,083 --> 00:27:45,463 Why am I impossible? 517 00:27:45,463 --> 00:27:47,983 Hasn't he told you? The sly devil. Oh, dear me. 518 00:27:47,983 --> 00:27:50,783 Listen, soon, we wake, we'll strip you down for spare parts, 519 00:27:50,783 --> 00:27:52,693 then build a spaceship and move on. 520 00:27:52,693 --> 00:27:55,613 More Cybermen? They're waking from their tomb right now. 521 00:27:55,613 --> 00:27:58,073 You can either die or live on as one of us. 522 00:27:58,073 --> 00:28:01,343 The Doctor will stop you. He can't even access the lips. 523 00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:06,743 Ow! Oh, that hurt. 524 00:28:06,743 --> 00:28:08,263 No, stop! Enough! 525 00:28:08,263 --> 00:28:10,173 Bit of pain, neural surge, just what I needed. 526 00:28:10,173 --> 00:28:12,063 Thank you. Why am I the impossible girl? 527 00:28:12,063 --> 00:28:13,743 It's just a thing in my head. I'll explain later. 528 00:28:13,743 --> 00:28:15,343 Chess game, stakes? 529 00:28:15,343 --> 00:28:17,883 If he wins, I give up my mind and he gets access to all my memories, 530 00:28:17,883 --> 00:28:20,743 along with knowledge of time travel, but if I win, 531 00:28:20,743 --> 00:28:23,823 he'll break his promises to get out of my head and then kill us all anyway. 532 00:28:23,823 --> 00:28:25,503 That's not reassuring. No. 533 00:28:25,503 --> 00:28:27,303 Please tell me you can fix whatever happened to the children. 534 00:28:27,303 --> 00:28:29,122 Children. Yeah, they're fine. 535 00:28:29,122 --> 00:28:31,143 I mean, right now their brains are just in standby mode. 536 00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:33,023 That is not fine! Listen. 537 00:28:33,023 --> 00:28:34,219 Right now, 538 00:28:34,219 --> 00:28:38,463 they have a much better chance of getting out of this situation alive than you do. 539 00:28:39,053 --> 00:28:40,883 Which one of you said that? 540 00:28:41,703 --> 00:28:42,783 Me. 541 00:28:42,783 --> 00:28:45,143 Cyber-Planner. Mr. Clever. 542 00:28:45,143 --> 00:28:47,163 Now, if you don't mind, 543 00:28:47,163 --> 00:28:49,543 I have a chess game to finish. 544 00:28:49,543 --> 00:28:51,958 And you have to die, 545 00:28:51,958 --> 00:28:55,579 pointlessly and very far from home. 546 00:28:57,943 --> 00:28:59,823 Toodle-oo. 547 00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:05,643 Apparently there are more Cybermen on the way. 548 00:29:05,643 --> 00:29:07,313 There's at least a dozen more 549 00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:09,453 shots left in the gun before it needs to recharge. 550 00:29:09,453 --> 00:29:11,593 We might have more than a dozen Cybermen to worry about. 551 00:29:11,593 --> 00:29:14,143 What's that cable? Power line for the park. 552 00:29:14,143 --> 00:29:16,863 What would happen if we unhooked the end, dropped it into the moat and turned it on? 553 00:29:16,863 --> 00:29:18,983 Fry anything alive that entered the water. 554 00:29:18,983 --> 00:29:21,493 Can Cybermen fly? No, ma'am. 555 00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:23,623 First good news of the day. Do it! 556 00:29:39,583 --> 00:29:40,923 Stop that. 557 00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:44,463 I felt that. Of course you did. 558 00:29:44,463 --> 00:29:46,363 It's time to get up. 559 00:29:47,383 --> 00:29:50,483 Wakey wakey, boys and girls. 560 00:29:51,573 --> 00:29:54,423 Wakey wakey. 561 00:30:21,673 --> 00:30:23,653 There. Get that in you. Warm you up. 562 00:30:23,653 --> 00:30:25,683 Oh, thank you, Porridge. 563 00:30:26,443 --> 00:30:28,343 Hey, Clara! 564 00:30:28,343 --> 00:30:29,633 I'll see what he wants. 565 00:30:29,633 --> 00:30:31,943 Call me if there's any change. Right. 566 00:30:38,943 --> 00:30:40,513 Hey! 567 00:30:40,513 --> 00:30:41,753 Clara, there you are. 568 00:30:41,753 --> 00:30:44,193 Now, quick rundown. What's our weapon strength? 569 00:30:44,193 --> 00:30:46,343 One big gun, five of those hand pulser units 570 00:30:46,343 --> 00:30:48,363 and a shiny black bomb that implodes the planet. 571 00:30:48,363 --> 00:30:50,343 Yeah, yeah. That one. Now, tell me. 572 00:30:50,343 --> 00:30:52,863 Does it happen possibly to have a sort of remote triggery thing? 573 00:30:52,863 --> 00:30:54,963 Brilliant. Pass it here. No. Why not? 574 00:30:54,963 --> 00:30:57,643 In case you're not you right now. Or even if you are, just in case. 575 00:30:57,643 --> 00:30:59,083 Don't worry. 576 00:30:59,593 --> 00:31:02,703 The Cyber-Planner's hibernating between moves right now. 577 00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:06,383 Prove you're you. 578 00:31:06,383 --> 00:31:08,143 Tell me something only the Doctor knows. 579 00:31:11,303 --> 00:31:12,693 Clara... 580 00:31:14,223 --> 00:31:16,183 I suppose... 581 00:31:16,843 --> 00:31:19,333 I'm the only one who knows how I... 582 00:31:19,333 --> 00:31:21,331 feel about you right now. 583 00:31:22,063 --> 00:31:23,753 How funny you are. 584 00:31:23,753 --> 00:31:25,273 So funny... 585 00:31:26,103 --> 00:31:27,673 and pretty. 586 00:31:28,343 --> 00:31:30,583 And the truth is... 587 00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:33,423 I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just... 588 00:31:36,953 --> 00:31:38,033 Yes. 589 00:31:38,033 --> 00:31:41,183 It's me. That really hurt. How did you know that was him? 590 00:31:41,183 --> 00:31:44,013 Because even if that was true, which it is obviously not, 591 00:31:44,013 --> 00:31:46,243 I know you well enough to know that you would rather die than say it. 592 00:31:46,243 --> 00:31:48,162 Finish your stupid game! 593 00:31:49,283 --> 00:31:50,883 Doctor, let go. I can't. 594 00:31:50,883 --> 00:31:52,743 He's got control of the left arm. 595 00:31:54,423 --> 00:31:56,283 No. No! 596 00:32:02,443 --> 00:32:03,573 Doctor? 597 00:32:03,573 --> 00:32:04,993 He got what he wanted. 598 00:32:04,993 --> 00:32:07,503 He destroyed the trigger. My move. 599 00:32:07,503 --> 00:32:09,383 What do you mean, he got what he wanted? 600 00:32:09,383 --> 00:32:11,423 He means... 601 00:32:11,423 --> 00:32:15,343 good news, boys and girls. 602 00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:19,183 They're here! 603 00:32:38,023 --> 00:32:39,553 One gun, five hand pulsers 604 00:32:39,553 --> 00:32:41,583 and a planet-smashing bomb that doesn't work any more. 605 00:32:41,583 --> 00:32:43,713 Why not? Broken trigger unit. 606 00:32:43,713 --> 00:32:45,553 But you signed for that. 607 00:32:45,553 --> 00:32:49,353 I have learned so much from you, Doctor. 608 00:32:49,353 --> 00:32:51,513 It's been an education. 609 00:32:52,003 --> 00:32:56,103 But now it's time for the endgame. 610 00:33:09,902 --> 00:33:10,863 Brilliant. 611 00:33:13,043 --> 00:33:15,883 Upgrade in progress. 612 00:33:19,793 --> 00:33:22,051 Who's our best shot? Probably it's me. 613 00:33:23,103 --> 00:33:26,003 Shoot any of them who make it across. The rest of you, take defensive positions. 614 00:33:26,003 --> 00:33:27,586 Porridge? Yes? 615 00:33:27,586 --> 00:33:29,253 Keep yourself safe. 616 00:33:44,343 --> 00:33:45,903 Alice Ferrin... 617 00:33:45,903 --> 00:33:49,263 you should have destroyed this planet when you had the chance. 618 00:33:49,263 --> 00:33:51,223 They're nearly here. 619 00:33:51,223 --> 00:33:53,703 Now, you can take my bishop 620 00:33:53,703 --> 00:33:57,223 and keep limping on for a little longer, 621 00:33:57,223 --> 00:34:00,703 or you can sacrifice your queen, 622 00:34:00,703 --> 00:34:03,223 and get the children back. 623 00:34:03,223 --> 00:34:05,383 But it's mate in five moves, 624 00:34:05,383 --> 00:34:07,583 and I get your mind. 625 00:34:07,583 --> 00:34:08,503 Go! 626 00:34:16,993 --> 00:34:18,880 Take my queen... 627 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,743 and give me back the children. 628 00:34:23,569 --> 00:34:25,193 Emotions! 629 00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:26,963 Can't you see what a foolish move that was? 630 00:34:26,963 --> 00:34:28,463 You've lost the game! 631 00:34:29,123 --> 00:34:32,263 Kids! Back! Now! 632 00:34:42,233 --> 00:34:45,503 Emotions, Doctor, 633 00:34:45,503 --> 00:34:50,583 all for two human children you barely know. 634 00:34:50,583 --> 00:34:53,143 And it was a pointless sacrifice anyway. 635 00:34:55,873 --> 00:34:59,263 So, Doctor... 636 00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:01,143 do you think the children's death 637 00:35:01,143 --> 00:35:04,863 will affect your relationship with Miss Clara? 638 00:35:08,543 --> 00:35:12,024 Welcome to Webley's World of Wonders, children. 639 00:35:12,024 --> 00:35:14,463 Now presenting delights, 640 00:35:14,463 --> 00:35:16,543 delicacies... 641 00:35:16,543 --> 00:35:17,943 and death. 642 00:35:17,943 --> 00:35:19,143 Doctor! 643 00:35:24,183 --> 00:35:26,103 Angie, are you okay? 644 00:35:26,103 --> 00:35:27,823 Just look after Artie, okay? 645 00:35:38,503 --> 00:35:41,103 Upgrade in progress. 646 00:35:41,103 --> 00:35:43,783 Your move. But before you take it, just so you know, 647 00:35:43,783 --> 00:35:46,553 sacrificing my queen was the best possible move I could have made. 648 00:35:46,553 --> 00:35:48,543 The Time Lords invented chess. 649 00:35:48,543 --> 00:35:50,023 It's our game. 650 00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:54,063 And if you don't avoid my trap, it gives me mate in three moves. 651 00:35:54,063 --> 00:35:54,863 How? 652 00:35:56,583 --> 00:35:58,423 I've got no charge left. 653 00:36:03,063 --> 00:36:04,423 How? 654 00:36:08,073 --> 00:36:10,863 Well, come on. You call yourself a chess-playing robot? 655 00:36:10,863 --> 00:36:11,783 How? 656 00:36:17,223 --> 00:36:18,463 You figure it out. 657 00:36:22,223 --> 00:36:25,523 Or don't you have the processing power, hmm? 658 00:36:26,178 --> 00:36:28,063 Please stand by. 659 00:36:28,063 --> 00:36:30,403 You will be upgraded. 660 00:36:30,403 --> 00:36:32,703 Welcome to the Cyberiad. 661 00:36:34,083 --> 00:36:38,183 You will be upgraded. Welcome to the Cyberiad. 662 00:36:38,183 --> 00:36:42,067 You will be upgraded. 663 00:36:48,073 --> 00:36:50,023 What are you doing? 664 00:36:50,023 --> 00:36:52,403 Doctor. Doctor. 665 00:36:52,403 --> 00:36:55,503 Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor. 666 00:36:55,503 --> 00:36:57,243 I'm pulling in extra processing power. 667 00:36:57,243 --> 00:37:00,243 Three million Cyberbrains working on one tiny chess problem. 668 00:37:00,243 --> 00:37:02,733 How long do you think it's going to take us to solve it? 669 00:37:02,733 --> 00:37:05,113 That's cheating. No, no, no, no, no. 670 00:37:05,113 --> 00:37:07,963 Just pulling in the local resources. 671 00:37:14,700 --> 00:37:18,075 There's no way you can get to mate in three moves. 672 00:37:18,863 --> 00:37:21,363 Three moves! You want to know what they are? 673 00:37:21,363 --> 00:37:22,743 You're lying! 674 00:37:22,743 --> 00:37:24,423 No! 675 00:37:24,953 --> 00:37:26,673 Move one... 676 00:37:26,673 --> 00:37:28,183 turn on sonic screwdriver. 677 00:37:28,183 --> 00:37:30,353 Move two, activate pulser. 678 00:37:30,353 --> 00:37:32,663 Move three, amplify pulser. 679 00:37:36,493 --> 00:37:37,903 See ya. 680 00:37:40,023 --> 00:37:42,063 That's cheating! 681 00:37:46,573 --> 00:37:48,823 Just taking advantage of the local resources. 682 00:37:49,093 --> 00:37:51,393 Ah, hello. Could somebody untie me, please? 683 00:37:51,393 --> 00:37:52,683 Do you think I'm pretty? No. 684 00:37:52,683 --> 00:37:54,883 You're too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny. 685 00:37:54,883 --> 00:37:56,943 Good enough. What happened to the Cyber-Planner? 686 00:37:56,943 --> 00:38:00,073 Out of my head and redistributed across three million Cybermen right now, 687 00:38:00,073 --> 00:38:02,663 and about to wake them all up, kill us, and start constructing a spaceship. 688 00:38:02,663 --> 00:38:05,143 We need to destroy this planet before they can get off it. 689 00:38:06,263 --> 00:38:07,343 Okay. 690 00:38:07,343 --> 00:38:09,223 It has a fallback voice activation. 691 00:38:09,223 --> 00:38:11,483 The Captain. But she's dead. 692 00:38:11,483 --> 00:38:13,443 I think you should ask Porridge. Why? 693 00:38:13,443 --> 00:38:16,973 Well, he is the Emperor. I bet he knows the activation codes. 694 00:38:16,973 --> 00:38:19,563 Oh, come on, it's obvious. 695 00:38:19,563 --> 00:38:22,533 He looks exactly like he does on the coin and on the waxwork, 696 00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:24,743 except they made him a bit taller, but... 697 00:38:24,743 --> 00:38:27,243 Look, am I the only one paying attention to anything around here? 698 00:38:27,243 --> 00:38:29,263 You are full of surprises. Porridge? 699 00:38:29,713 --> 00:38:32,024 She's right. So you can save us? 700 00:38:32,024 --> 00:38:34,373 We all die in the end. Does it matter how? 701 00:38:34,373 --> 00:38:35,783 What do we do? 702 00:38:35,783 --> 00:38:37,603 I don't want to be emperor. 703 00:38:38,043 --> 00:38:40,303 If I activate that bomb, it's all over. 704 00:38:40,303 --> 00:38:43,983 And if you don't, three million Cybermen will spread across the galaxy. 705 00:38:43,983 --> 00:38:45,633 Isn't that worth dying for? 706 00:38:45,633 --> 00:38:47,663 Doctor... Three million Cybermen. 707 00:38:51,273 --> 00:38:53,343 The bomb, the throne, 708 00:38:53,343 --> 00:38:55,353 it's all connected. I just have to say, 709 00:38:55,353 --> 00:38:59,263 "This is Emperor Ludens Nimrod Kendrick Cord Longstaff the 41st. 710 00:38:59,263 --> 00:39:01,363 "Defender of humanity, 711 00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:04,203 "imperator of known space. 712 00:39:05,903 --> 00:39:07,342 "Activate the Desolator." 713 00:39:08,633 --> 00:39:10,091 And it's done. 714 00:39:17,023 --> 00:39:18,473 It'll blow in about 80 seconds. 715 00:39:18,473 --> 00:39:20,143 Easily long enough for the Imperial Flagship 716 00:39:20,143 --> 00:39:22,063 to locate me from my identification, 717 00:39:22,063 --> 00:39:24,083 warp jump into orbit, 718 00:39:24,083 --> 00:39:26,593 and transmat us to the State Room. 719 00:39:32,264 --> 00:39:33,513 Oh, yeah. 720 00:39:34,313 --> 00:39:36,043 Nice ship. A bit big. 721 00:39:36,043 --> 00:39:37,953 Not blue enough. Listen... 722 00:39:37,953 --> 00:39:41,803 there is a large blue box at coordinates 6-Ultra-19P. 723 00:39:41,803 --> 00:39:44,273 I need it transmatted up here right away. 724 00:39:44,273 --> 00:39:45,583 Right. 725 00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:47,148 Did you get that? 726 00:39:56,503 --> 00:40:02,310 And that's that. 76, 77, 78, 79... 727 00:40:11,123 --> 00:40:12,919 Farewell, Cyberiad. 728 00:40:13,983 --> 00:40:16,303 You know, it was, it was good to get away. 729 00:40:16,633 --> 00:40:17,943 Good to be a person. 730 00:40:17,943 --> 00:40:21,153 Good not to be lonely or emperor of a thousand galaxies, 731 00:40:21,153 --> 00:40:23,463 with everyone waiting for me to tell them what to do. 732 00:40:23,463 --> 00:40:25,023 Can't you run away again? 733 00:40:25,023 --> 00:40:27,723 They'll be keeping a close eye on me this time. 734 00:40:27,723 --> 00:40:29,913 That's what happens when you're emperor. 735 00:40:29,913 --> 00:40:32,903 Loneliest job in the universe. You don't have to be lonely. 736 00:40:34,693 --> 00:40:36,136 I don't. 737 00:40:37,623 --> 00:40:39,193 Clara... 738 00:40:39,193 --> 00:40:41,223 will you marry me? 739 00:40:41,223 --> 00:40:41,983 What? 740 00:40:41,983 --> 00:40:44,183 He said... She heard what he said. 741 00:40:44,183 --> 00:40:46,673 You're smart and you're beautiful, 742 00:40:46,673 --> 00:40:49,703 and I've never met anyone like you before. 743 00:40:49,703 --> 00:40:52,253 And being Emperor won't be as hard if you're by my side. 744 00:40:52,253 --> 00:40:54,113 And you'd rule a thousand galaxies. 745 00:40:54,113 --> 00:40:56,923 This sounds like an actual marriage proposal, tricky. 746 00:40:56,923 --> 00:40:59,553 Now, if you want my advice... You, not one word. 747 00:40:59,553 --> 00:41:02,063 This is between me and the Emperor. 748 00:41:04,214 --> 00:41:05,343 Porridge... 749 00:41:06,183 --> 00:41:09,903 I don't want to rule a thousand galaxies. 750 00:41:13,773 --> 00:41:14,963 Yeah. 751 00:41:15,783 --> 00:41:17,143 Silly of me. 752 00:41:17,993 --> 00:41:19,063 I'm really sorry. 753 00:41:19,063 --> 00:41:21,143 But that's stupid. 754 00:41:21,143 --> 00:41:23,893 You could be Queen of the universe. 755 00:41:23,893 --> 00:41:25,563 How can you say no to that? 756 00:41:25,563 --> 00:41:29,143 When someone asks you if you want to be Queen of the universe, you say yes. 757 00:41:29,143 --> 00:41:32,343 You watch. One day, I'll be Queen of the universe. 758 00:41:33,981 --> 00:41:35,223 Of course, 759 00:41:35,223 --> 00:41:38,303 I could have you all executed, which is what a proper emperor would do. 760 00:41:39,963 --> 00:41:42,063 You're not actually going to do that, though, are you? 761 00:41:42,963 --> 00:41:45,223 Oh, you're... Hey? 762 00:41:45,223 --> 00:41:47,483 Go on, get out of here, all of you, 763 00:41:47,483 --> 00:41:49,283 before I change my mind. 764 00:42:03,043 --> 00:42:05,343 Thank you for having me. It was very interesting. 765 00:42:05,343 --> 00:42:08,783 My pleasure. Thank you for coming. Now, I've got something for you. 766 00:42:08,783 --> 00:42:11,803 It's not from me, it's from the Tardis. 767 00:42:14,353 --> 00:42:16,183 New phone. Thanks! 768 00:42:16,183 --> 00:42:19,004 You're welcome. Sorry I said this box was stupid. 769 00:42:20,403 --> 00:42:21,423 Bye! 770 00:42:21,423 --> 00:42:22,883 Bye! Thanks, Clara. 771 00:42:22,883 --> 00:42:24,925 Thanks, Clara's boyfriend. 772 00:42:26,663 --> 00:42:29,163 Thank you, Doctor. For what? 773 00:42:29,163 --> 00:42:31,033 Kids day out, getting us off the planet alive, 774 00:42:31,033 --> 00:42:33,023 whatever you were doing with the Cybermen. 775 00:42:36,003 --> 00:42:37,433 Good night. 776 00:42:38,753 --> 00:42:42,813 See you next Wednesday. Well, a Wednesday, definitely. 777 00:42:42,813 --> 00:42:44,663 Next Wednesday, last Wednesday, 778 00:42:44,663 --> 00:42:46,603 one of the Wednesdays. 779 00:42:48,903 --> 00:42:50,633 Impossible girl. 780 00:42:51,193 --> 00:42:53,903 A mystery wrapped in an enigma squeezed into a skirt 781 00:42:53,903 --> 00:42:56,023 that's just a little bit too... 782 00:42:56,023 --> 00:42:57,403 tight. 783 00:43:03,573 --> 00:43:04,663 What are you? 784 00:43:06,463 --> 00:43:08,623 Signs of any Cybertech remaining? 785 00:43:09,023 --> 00:43:10,023 No, Majesty. 786 00:43:11,103 --> 00:43:12,543 You ever wanted to be Emperor, Gloria? 787 00:43:12,543 --> 00:43:13,903 No, Majesty. 788 00:43:14,513 --> 00:43:18,463 That's the right answer. Come on, let's go home.