1 00:00:09,753 --> 00:00:11,903 There's no way out of this. 2 00:00:11,903 --> 00:00:13,893 We're going to die here. 3 00:00:13,893 --> 00:00:15,373 Pass me the vibro-cutters. 4 00:00:15,373 --> 00:00:16,933 They're in my pocket. 5 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,413 Come on, then, pass them to me. 6 00:00:18,413 --> 00:00:20,783 In my other jacket. At home. 7 00:00:20,783 --> 00:00:23,253 Why have you got have two jackets? Is one of them faulty? 8 00:00:23,253 --> 00:00:25,823 Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I had the vibro-cutters, 9 00:00:25,823 --> 00:00:28,103 I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters. 10 00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:29,820 We're going to starve to death out here. 11 00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:31,883 Of course we won't starve. 12 00:00:31,883 --> 00:00:34,765 The sand piranhas will get us long before that. 13 00:00:37,953 --> 00:00:39,623 Hiya. Sorry I'm late. 14 00:00:40,053 --> 00:00:42,263 You're not, but you are brown. You're very brown. 15 00:00:42,263 --> 00:00:43,703 You weren't that brown this morning. 16 00:00:43,703 --> 00:00:46,383 Sunbed. Phew! I'll get them in. The usual? 17 00:00:46,973 --> 00:00:48,573 Fish people. 18 00:00:48,573 --> 00:00:49,823 What are they like? 19 00:00:49,823 --> 00:00:51,893 Fish and people. 20 00:00:51,893 --> 00:00:53,343 Come and see. 21 00:00:54,593 --> 00:00:56,443 How's you? Evening. 22 00:00:56,443 --> 00:00:58,413 Nice frock. It's a bit wet. 23 00:00:58,413 --> 00:00:59,963 Freak shower. 24 00:01:02,173 --> 00:01:03,903 Was that seaweed? 25 00:01:03,903 --> 00:01:05,454 I said freak. 26 00:01:08,743 --> 00:01:11,503 How much further? The Tardis has got to be round this corner. 27 00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:15,303 I hate soldiers. Don't you hate soldiers? 28 00:01:15,303 --> 00:01:17,023 Yeah. Just keep running! 29 00:01:19,373 --> 00:01:21,460 Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya. 30 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,143 Morning. Ready to run? 31 00:01:23,143 --> 00:01:24,223 Mmm-hmm. 32 00:01:28,973 --> 00:01:32,038 I can't keep doing this. I can't do it. 33 00:01:33,203 --> 00:01:34,656 Yes, I can. 34 00:01:34,656 --> 00:01:37,143 I can do it, of course I can do it. 35 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,863 I've got it all under control. 36 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,383 So, where we off to? 37 00:01:43,953 --> 00:01:47,300 Clara, you look lovely today. Have you had a wash? 38 00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:52,023 Why are you being nice? Because it works on you. 39 00:01:52,023 --> 00:01:56,283 Listen, I'm sorry but there's going to be no trip today. 40 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:59,503 I'm sorry. I've got to do a thing. It might take a while. 41 00:01:59,503 --> 00:02:01,573 What thing? Just a thing. 42 00:02:01,573 --> 00:02:04,693 You're being mysterious, and do you know what means? 43 00:02:04,693 --> 00:02:06,343 I'm a man of mystery. 44 00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,233 It means that you are a very clever man 45 00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:11,433 making the mistake, common to very clever people, 46 00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:13,863 of assuming that everybody else is stupid. 47 00:02:13,863 --> 00:02:16,183 Where are you going? Undercover. 48 00:02:16,183 --> 00:02:18,133 Deep cover. Can you do deep cover? 49 00:02:18,133 --> 00:02:19,303 What do you mean? Have you seen you? 50 00:02:19,303 --> 00:02:21,253 Of course I can do deep cover. 51 00:02:21,253 --> 00:02:23,315 Where? The Magic Circle? 52 00:02:24,282 --> 00:02:26,103 I'll see you when I see you. 53 00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:27,303 When's that? 54 00:02:29,113 --> 00:02:31,043 When I see you. 55 00:02:39,153 --> 00:02:41,013 I'll be sure to have a wash. 56 00:02:41,013 --> 00:02:42,903 Excellent. I was meaning to bring it up. 57 00:03:00,053 --> 00:03:03,083 You lot! Not here, over there. 58 00:03:05,573 --> 00:03:07,233 Morning, Mr. Pink. 59 00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:08,963 Morning, Courtney. 60 00:03:08,963 --> 00:03:11,883 And good morning, Miss Oswald. Morning, Mr. Pink. 61 00:03:16,532 --> 00:03:19,923 Do they know? Possibly, they're children. 62 00:03:19,923 --> 00:03:22,003 It's like they've got minds of their own. 63 00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:23,623 Are you okay? Yeah, of course I'm okay. 64 00:03:23,623 --> 00:03:25,263 Why wouldn't I be okay? I don't know. 65 00:03:25,263 --> 00:03:26,973 Every time I see you, it's like you're... 66 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:27,943 What? 67 00:03:27,943 --> 00:03:30,053 In a rush. In a state. 68 00:03:30,053 --> 00:03:31,793 In a space helmet, one time. 69 00:03:31,793 --> 00:03:34,513 Sorry, I've had a thing... 70 00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:37,313 and the thing's gone so I'm all yours. 71 00:03:37,313 --> 00:03:39,093 What thing? What's gone? Nothing. 72 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,643 It's like you're trying to be mysterious. 73 00:03:42,073 --> 00:03:44,003 I'm not stupid, you know. 74 00:03:44,927 --> 00:03:47,653 The next few days are all about you. 75 00:03:47,653 --> 00:03:49,153 I promise. 76 00:03:52,053 --> 00:03:56,703 Which means, Jo, you'll have to cover for 8-4M in L3. 77 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,823 Uh, hold on, there is just one more thing. 78 00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:01,443 Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie. 79 00:04:01,443 --> 00:04:03,193 I did ask him to come along. 80 00:04:03,193 --> 00:04:04,743 Ah, here he is. 81 00:04:06,223 --> 00:04:07,723 Do come in. 82 00:04:09,363 --> 00:04:11,173 I'm the new caretaker. 83 00:04:11,173 --> 00:04:12,783 John Smith. 84 00:04:12,783 --> 00:04:14,663 Welcome to Coal Hill, Mr. Smith. 85 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:17,453 Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name. 86 00:04:17,453 --> 00:04:20,393 But, you know, here's the thing, most people just call me... 87 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,931 the Doctor. 88 00:05:01,253 --> 00:05:04,043 So, if anybody needs me, just, you know, give me a shout. 89 00:05:04,043 --> 00:05:07,353 I'll be in the storeroom just getting the lie of the land. 90 00:05:07,353 --> 00:05:10,543 Yes, nobody's taking any notice at all. 91 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,203 Absolutely good news 92 00:05:12,203 --> 00:05:14,333 because it means that I must be coming across 93 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:18,541 just as an absolutely boring human being like you. 94 00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:21,283 Deep cover. Deep cover. 95 00:05:23,303 --> 00:05:25,243 Do you know him? Know who? 96 00:05:25,243 --> 00:05:27,173 The caretaker, Smith. The Doctor. 97 00:05:27,173 --> 00:05:29,833 Never seen him before in my life. He's a bit intense-looking. 98 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:32,533 Did you see those eyebrows? Did he wink at you? 99 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,573 No, I think that was just sort of like a general wink. 100 00:05:34,573 --> 00:05:37,103 You know, he winked at everybody. It was a general welcoming wink. 101 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,773 Ah, I have, um, left some marking. 102 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,963 Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop. Catch you in a bit. Excuse me. 103 00:05:48,212 --> 00:05:50,643 So, you recognised me, then. You're wearing a different coat. 104 00:05:50,643 --> 00:05:54,528 But you saw straight through that. Deep cover in my school? Why? 105 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,303 Where's Atif? What have you done with him? 106 00:05:56,303 --> 00:05:58,943 He's fine, hypnotised, he thinks he's got the flu. 107 00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:02,063 Also a flying car and three wives. It's going to be a rude awakening. 108 00:06:02,063 --> 00:06:03,773 Is it aliens? 109 00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:06,193 Oh, my God, is that why you're here? Are there aliens? 110 00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:08,483 It's assembly, you better get going. Go and worship something. 111 00:06:08,483 --> 00:06:10,713 Are the aliens in this school? 112 00:06:10,713 --> 00:06:13,593 Listen, it's lovely talking to you, but I've really got to get on. 113 00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:17,103 I'm a caretaker now. Look, I've got a brush. Doctor, is there an alien in this school? 114 00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:18,354 Yes, me. 115 00:06:18,354 --> 00:06:19,613 Now, go. 116 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,193 The walls need sponging and there's a sinister puddle. 117 00:06:22,193 --> 00:06:23,753 You can't do this. 118 00:06:23,753 --> 00:06:27,383 You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people. 119 00:06:27,383 --> 00:06:29,293 I lived among otters once for a month. 120 00:06:29,293 --> 00:06:32,023 Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight... 121 00:06:32,023 --> 00:06:36,183 Human beings are not otters! Exactly, it'll be even easier. 122 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:39,343 Okay. One question. 123 00:06:40,243 --> 00:06:41,943 And you will answer this question. 124 00:06:43,983 --> 00:06:45,623 Are the kids safe? 125 00:06:45,623 --> 00:06:48,193 No. Nobody is safe. 126 00:06:48,193 --> 00:06:51,703 But soon the answer will be, yes, everybody is safe, 127 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:54,823 if you let me get on. Now... 128 00:06:55,453 --> 00:06:58,663 pretend you don't know me, stay out of my way. 129 00:06:58,663 --> 00:07:01,423 The less you know, the better. I'll explain it all later. 130 00:07:01,423 --> 00:07:03,613 Go and sing with the otters. I hate you. 131 00:07:03,613 --> 00:07:06,163 That's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction. 132 00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:13,723 Basically, you've to get that guy on the block 133 00:07:13,723 --> 00:07:15,233 and stop the other one from shooting him. 134 00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:18,523 It's so sick. I got that guy. That was, like, six months ago. 135 00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,293 What you actually have to do is flick it that way. 136 00:07:20,293 --> 00:07:23,203 No, but I'm saying... You Coal Hill kids? 137 00:07:24,063 --> 00:07:25,423 Yeah, so what if we are? 138 00:07:25,423 --> 00:07:27,633 Then get to Coal Hill. 139 00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:31,183 We've got a free period, mate. You want me to take your names? 140 00:07:32,013 --> 00:07:33,223 Come on. 141 00:07:35,073 --> 00:07:36,343 This is unfair, mate. 142 00:07:40,073 --> 00:07:42,203 Always come in threes. 143 00:07:44,203 --> 00:07:46,557 Oi! I know you're in there. 144 00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:58,803 Hello? 145 00:07:59,233 --> 00:08:00,983 I'm a police officer. 146 00:08:06,613 --> 00:08:08,678 There's no point hiding. 147 00:08:11,263 --> 00:08:13,063 Do you hear me? 148 00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,643 Come on, kiddo. 149 00:08:15,643 --> 00:08:20,133 Five-stop-intruder. Five-stop-intruder. 150 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,783 Turn your game off. 151 00:08:21,783 --> 00:08:23,943 It's time for school, come on! 152 00:08:23,943 --> 00:08:26,013 Stop messing about! 153 00:08:27,663 --> 00:08:30,743 Problem-solution-destroy. 154 00:08:40,823 --> 00:08:45,343 Though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth, 155 00:08:45,343 --> 00:08:49,083 and as it assured her that Darcy was not less... 156 00:08:51,183 --> 00:08:54,703 You all right, Miss Oswald? Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on. 157 00:08:56,273 --> 00:08:58,083 Every feeling of displeasure 158 00:08:58,083 --> 00:09:00,133 against the former was so sharpened... 159 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:02,863 Can I help you, Mr. Smith? 160 00:09:03,213 --> 00:09:04,543 Wrong. 161 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:05,743 I'm sorry? 162 00:09:05,743 --> 00:09:07,113 On the board. 163 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,813 Wrong. Wrong. 164 00:09:09,813 --> 00:09:12,543 Oh, no, no, no, no. No. You don't do this. 165 00:09:12,543 --> 00:09:15,073 You are the caretaker, this is not what you do. 166 00:09:15,073 --> 00:09:16,853 Just taking care. Not your area. 167 00:09:16,853 --> 00:09:20,763 Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796. 168 00:09:20,763 --> 00:09:22,653 This is Mr. Smith, 169 00:09:22,653 --> 00:09:25,303 the temporary caretaker, and he's a bit confused. 170 00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,223 Not in 1797, 171 00:09:27,223 --> 00:09:29,453 because she didn't have the time. She was so busy... 172 00:09:29,453 --> 00:09:31,943 Oh, what, and I suppose, what, she was your bezzie mate, was she? 173 00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:35,613 And you went on holidays together and then you got kidnapped by Boggons from space 174 00:09:35,613 --> 00:09:38,963 and then you all formed a band and met Buddy Holly. 175 00:09:39,823 --> 00:09:42,453 No, I read the book. There's a bio at the back. 176 00:09:42,453 --> 00:09:44,023 Get down. 177 00:09:45,313 --> 00:09:47,323 Boggons? Go! 178 00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:54,493 Right, that's it. Uh, well done, Kelvin. Get going. 179 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:56,703 See you all in a couple of days. Thanks very much. 180 00:09:56,703 --> 00:09:59,253 Miss, what about our homework? 181 00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:00,883 Who asks for homework? 182 00:10:00,883 --> 00:10:01,903 Amateur. 183 00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:11,263 Miss Oswald... Oh, hello, Tobias, can't really stop. 184 00:10:11,263 --> 00:10:14,183 I'm on the school football team against Durants on Thursday. 185 00:10:14,183 --> 00:10:17,303 Sorry, but can I go early from English Thursday afternoon? 186 00:10:17,303 --> 00:10:19,343 Tobias, you can do whatever you want. 187 00:10:19,343 --> 00:10:22,043 Hey, Clara, can I have a quick word? Actually, I, um... 188 00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:24,073 Two weeks Saturday, the fete, 189 00:10:24,073 --> 00:10:26,353 can I put you down for the tombola and the raffle? 190 00:10:26,353 --> 00:10:28,843 James H can't cover it now. His wife's going into hospital. 191 00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:30,533 Hip replacement. Constant agony. 192 00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:31,993 Great! 193 00:10:31,993 --> 00:10:35,023 No, awful. That's terrible. Awful. I hope she'll be okay. 194 00:10:35,023 --> 00:10:38,003 Um, I'll do anything. Anything. Okay. Bye. 195 00:10:41,743 --> 00:10:44,613 Miss Oswald, Katie Sharp says I pulled her hair in Biology. 196 00:10:44,613 --> 00:10:46,403 Courtney, you are big enough to look after yourself. 197 00:10:46,403 --> 00:10:48,753 Next class, jog on, I need to talk to Mr. Pink. 198 00:10:48,753 --> 00:10:51,683 Ozzie loves the Squaddie. What was that? Nothing. 199 00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,703 Danny Pink here is your man, Mr. Smith. 200 00:10:53,703 --> 00:10:56,963 Five years' military experience, sergeant, here and Afghan, so... 201 00:10:56,963 --> 00:10:59,623 electrics, boilers, if you need a hand, give him a shout. 202 00:10:59,623 --> 00:11:03,783 I've helped Atif with a couple of things. I'm sure I won't needing you, Sergeant. 203 00:11:03,783 --> 00:11:05,183 Fully qualified. 204 00:11:07,683 --> 00:11:10,923 You best get back to your PE class. Uh, I teach maths. 205 00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:13,583 Do you? What, in emergencies? No, I'm a maths teacher. 206 00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:15,263 Yeah, he's a maths teacher... 207 00:11:15,263 --> 00:11:16,893 Mohammed, put that down! 208 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,063 How does that work? What if the kids have questions? 209 00:11:19,063 --> 00:11:20,503 About what? Maths. 210 00:11:20,503 --> 00:11:22,103 I answer them. I'm a maths teacher. 211 00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:24,063 But he said you were a soldier. 212 00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:26,213 Yeah, I was a soldier, now I'm a maths teacher. 213 00:11:26,213 --> 00:11:28,173 But what about all the PE? 214 00:11:28,173 --> 00:11:31,003 I don't teach PE. I'm not a PE teacher. 215 00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:33,503 Sorry, that seems very unlikely. 216 00:11:34,463 --> 00:11:37,473 Excuse me, Mr. Pink, I think class 9-M4 are waiting. 217 00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:39,293 Yes, you'd better run along, Sergeant. 218 00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:41,423 That ball isn't going to kick itself, is it? 219 00:11:41,423 --> 00:11:43,743 I'm not a PE teacher, I'm a maths teacher. 220 00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:46,983 Nope, sorry. 221 00:11:46,983 --> 00:11:50,563 No, I can't retain that. I've tried, it's just not going in. 222 00:11:57,473 --> 00:12:00,573 So, Pink. The name remind you of anything? 223 00:12:00,573 --> 00:12:02,423 Yeah. The color. 224 00:12:03,693 --> 00:12:07,293 Colonel Orson Pink? The guy we met at the end of the universe. 225 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,813 Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. 226 00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:10,903 Same name, doesn't look anything like him though. 227 00:12:10,903 --> 00:12:12,303 Looks very like him. 228 00:12:12,303 --> 00:12:15,023 Does he? I don't know. Who remembers a PE teacher? 229 00:12:15,023 --> 00:12:16,223 Oh, never mind. 230 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,593 What are you doing? What's in there? 231 00:12:19,593 --> 00:12:20,883 So... 232 00:12:21,413 --> 00:12:23,813 is he here, then? Is who here? 233 00:12:23,813 --> 00:12:26,113 The one you keep going on serious dates with. 234 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:29,163 If he is, are you going to start talking like a normal human being? 235 00:12:29,163 --> 00:12:31,163 I promise I won't. I'm being nice. 236 00:12:31,163 --> 00:12:32,243 Doctor... Clara. 237 00:12:32,243 --> 00:12:34,423 Got this period free, yes? No. Yes. 238 00:12:34,423 --> 00:12:37,583 Great. Shakespeare. Sorry, what, Adrian? 239 00:12:38,608 --> 00:12:39,963 Oh... 240 00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:41,303 I see. 241 00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:44,143 You see what? 242 00:12:44,143 --> 00:12:46,243 Nothing. Nothing at all. 243 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,543 Excuse me. We have to talk about The Tempest, 244 00:12:48,543 --> 00:12:51,583 in light of the changes to the sixth form Shakespeare module blah-di-blah. 245 00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,513 Yes. Sorry, of course. 246 00:12:55,103 --> 00:12:57,953 Yes, yes, no, of course, of course, yes. 247 00:12:57,953 --> 00:13:01,923 Don't mind this old man. You two kids just pop off together. 248 00:13:02,423 --> 00:13:04,373 Why are you talking like an idiot? 249 00:13:04,373 --> 00:13:07,187 I'm a caretaker, don't mind me. 250 00:13:08,823 --> 00:13:13,963 What we have to get across, I feel, is that fascinating enigma of its... 251 00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:17,292 not-finishedness. Mmm, yes, good point, Ade. 252 00:13:20,293 --> 00:13:22,260 Oh, Clara. 253 00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:37,393 What does that mean? 254 00:13:37,393 --> 00:13:38,513 Kids. 255 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,663 What's the matter with kids today? 256 00:13:51,053 --> 00:13:52,913 Hey, I said you could play chess, I did not say 257 00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:54,853 you could play football on the chessboard. 258 00:13:54,853 --> 00:13:57,303 Jack, Morgan, come on, help me out, clear it up. 259 00:14:08,443 --> 00:14:10,888 And one for luck. 260 00:14:13,792 --> 00:14:16,303 Okay. Now we're in business. 261 00:14:16,303 --> 00:14:18,043 Let's see the lie of the land. 262 00:14:18,043 --> 00:14:20,703 Time to see what's going on. 263 00:14:24,453 --> 00:14:25,763 Hello? 264 00:14:26,813 --> 00:14:27,963 Oi. 265 00:14:29,252 --> 00:14:31,693 What are you doing? Are you in there? 266 00:14:31,693 --> 00:14:33,593 Mirror, mirror on the wall, 267 00:14:33,593 --> 00:14:36,833 who's the most dangerous of them all? 268 00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:40,423 There's been a spillage in Geography, I need some paper towels. 269 00:14:41,153 --> 00:14:43,343 Can't you read? Of course I can read. Read what? 270 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:46,153 The door. It says, "Keep Out." 271 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:49,063 No, it says, "Go Away Humans." 272 00:14:49,063 --> 00:14:50,243 Oh, so it does. 273 00:14:50,243 --> 00:14:52,353 Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign. 274 00:14:52,353 --> 00:14:54,023 What was you doing in there? 275 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,733 What's that box? A caretaker's box. 276 00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:58,903 Every caretaker has their own box. 277 00:14:58,903 --> 00:15:00,373 It says, "Police." 278 00:15:00,373 --> 00:15:04,153 Exactly, there's a policeman in there, in case of emergencies and children. 279 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,123 Towels, there, g-g-go. What was that green glow? 280 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,863 There was a green glow coming from in there. 281 00:15:08,863 --> 00:15:11,433 What was it? Of course there was. 282 00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:13,933 What's a policeman without a death ray? 283 00:15:13,933 --> 00:15:15,613 Oh, listen, there's the bell, off you go. 284 00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:18,543 Haven't you got shoplifting to go to? I'm going to tell the Headmaster. 285 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,933 Oh, yes, fine. Well, cut along, you're running out of time. 286 00:15:20,933 --> 00:15:22,883 For what? Everything. 287 00:15:22,883 --> 00:15:25,103 Human beings have incredibly short lifespans. 288 00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:27,993 Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic. 289 00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:30,013 Tick tock, tick tock. 290 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:32,833 You're weird. Yes, I am. What about you? 291 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:35,303 I'm a disruptive influence. 292 00:15:35,923 --> 00:15:37,303 Good to meet you. 293 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:38,503 And you. 294 00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:41,026 Now, get lost. Okay. 295 00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:45,283 Hello, miss, love to the Squaddie. 296 00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:46,863 Sorry, what did you say? 297 00:15:48,663 --> 00:15:51,533 What was she doing here? Paper towels. 298 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,543 Now, I imagine you have many questions. 299 00:15:53,543 --> 00:15:55,773 Fire away, I won't answer any of them. 300 00:15:55,773 --> 00:15:57,773 What were they like? What were who like? 301 00:15:57,773 --> 00:16:01,363 The others before me. Did they let you get away with this kind of thing? 302 00:16:01,363 --> 00:16:04,283 This school is in danger. Well, it's lucky I'm here, then. 303 00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:06,413 From you. Me? 304 00:16:06,413 --> 00:16:08,203 You wouldn't be here if there wasn't an alien threat nearby. 305 00:16:08,203 --> 00:16:10,743 Your strategy for dealing with it involves endangering this school. 306 00:16:10,743 --> 00:16:12,423 You don't know that. I don't know anything 307 00:16:12,423 --> 00:16:14,253 because you haven't told me anything, which means I wouldn't approve, 308 00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:16,303 which means you are endangering this school. 309 00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:24,173 What's that? It's a scanner. 310 00:16:24,173 --> 00:16:25,813 I'm scanning. Why do I keep you around? 311 00:16:25,813 --> 00:16:28,023 Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. 312 00:16:28,023 --> 00:16:29,873 Scanning for what? 313 00:16:29,873 --> 00:16:32,303 Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up. 314 00:16:32,303 --> 00:16:35,093 I used to have a teacher exactly like you. 315 00:16:35,093 --> 00:16:37,023 You still do. Pay attention. 316 00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:41,053 What the hell is it? 317 00:16:41,053 --> 00:16:43,023 A Skovox Blitzer, 318 00:16:43,323 --> 00:16:46,463 one of the deadliest killing machines ever created. 319 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:48,643 Probably homed in here because of artron emissions. 320 00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:51,098 You've had enough of them in this area over the years. 321 00:16:51,098 --> 00:16:55,418 There's enough explosive in its armoury to take out the whole planet. 322 00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,913 Then leave it alone. 323 00:16:57,913 --> 00:17:01,123 Sooner or later it will creep from its hidey-hole 324 00:17:01,123 --> 00:17:04,243 and some military idiot will try to attack it. 325 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,963 The world is full of PE teachers. 326 00:17:10,573 --> 00:17:11,923 So... 327 00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:14,743 your insanely dangerous plan is? 328 00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:18,343 A new watch. Tiny bit disappointed. 329 00:17:18,343 --> 00:17:21,104 This is a very special watch. 330 00:17:26,823 --> 00:17:28,301 Doctor? 331 00:17:29,663 --> 00:17:31,243 Oi! Ow! 332 00:17:31,863 --> 00:17:34,203 Did you just flick my nose? 333 00:17:36,093 --> 00:17:37,603 You're invisible. 334 00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:40,933 Oh, my God, that's incredible! Correct. I am invisible 335 00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:43,973 and I am incredible. It's simply a matter of reversing light waves. 336 00:17:43,973 --> 00:17:46,373 Hang on, I'm coming back. All right, where are you? 337 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:50,663 So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff of non-threatening alien tech, 338 00:17:50,663 --> 00:17:53,573 I lead it back here, but I don't want it to scan me, hence invisible. 339 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,593 So, you're leading the thing here? 340 00:17:55,593 --> 00:17:57,263 To a school? My school? 341 00:17:57,263 --> 00:17:59,383 "My school"? Oh, that is telling. 342 00:17:59,383 --> 00:18:01,423 This is the only suitably empty place in the area. 343 00:18:01,423 --> 00:18:04,773 I've set up a circle of time mines around the school. 344 00:18:04,773 --> 00:18:06,643 Chronodyne generators. 345 00:18:07,112 --> 00:18:08,203 Bit unstable. 346 00:18:08,203 --> 00:18:11,963 I switch them on, the Blitzer gets sucked through the big old time vortex, 347 00:18:11,963 --> 00:18:14,653 billions of years into the future. It's dead easy. Tiny bit boring. 348 00:18:14,653 --> 00:18:16,883 I'll need a book and a sandwich. And me. You're not doing this alone. 349 00:18:16,883 --> 00:18:19,303 I don't need you this time. 350 00:18:19,303 --> 00:18:22,023 I'll see you tomorrow. We'll go somewhere nice. 351 00:18:22,023 --> 00:18:23,893 Ancient Egypt. 352 00:18:23,893 --> 00:18:25,173 Crocodilopolis. 353 00:18:25,173 --> 00:18:28,713 They worship a big crocodile there, so the name is a useful coincidence. 354 00:18:28,713 --> 00:18:31,252 Go and canoodle with your boyfriend. 355 00:18:35,533 --> 00:18:37,113 Come on. 356 00:18:37,113 --> 00:18:39,303 I wasn't born yesterday, far from it. 357 00:18:39,303 --> 00:18:40,823 You did recognise him. 358 00:18:40,823 --> 00:18:43,053 Possibly reminded me of a certain... 359 00:18:43,053 --> 00:18:47,233 dashing young time traveller. Oh, of course you recognised him. 360 00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:48,893 Sorry. 361 00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:51,713 Stupid. I underestimated you. 362 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,423 It's easily done, there's a lot to estimate. 363 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,263 And you like him? 364 00:18:55,263 --> 00:18:57,393 Yes, I like him. 365 00:18:57,393 --> 00:18:59,183 Very, very much. 366 00:19:00,053 --> 00:19:02,923 Go home and canoodle. Doctor's orders. Come on. 367 00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:06,093 Just this once, I'm doing what I'm told. 368 00:19:06,093 --> 00:19:08,340 Oh, sing hosanna. 369 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,193 So easy. 370 00:19:20,933 --> 00:19:22,303 Miss Oswald. 371 00:19:22,303 --> 00:19:25,103 Ah, Mr. Pink. Are you still on for tonight? 372 00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:28,143 'Cause you had your "I'm about to cancel" frown on. 373 00:19:28,853 --> 00:19:31,063 There's a specific frown? And I was going to say, 374 00:19:31,063 --> 00:19:33,663 it's okay, I might have a thing, so... 375 00:19:33,663 --> 00:19:35,348 A thing? 376 00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:39,063 Tomorrow instead? 377 00:19:39,063 --> 00:19:40,903 Uh, tomorrow's parents' evening. 378 00:19:41,363 --> 00:19:43,333 Not all evening. 379 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,443 No. Not all evening. 380 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:49,103 What do you think of him? 381 00:19:49,103 --> 00:19:51,653 Uh, who? The caretaker? 382 00:19:51,653 --> 00:19:53,863 Where did he come from? What was he before? 383 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,763 He doesn't seem like a caretaker. 384 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,703 Well, he speaks very highly of you. 385 00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:06,663 Anyway, um, goodnight, Miss Oswald. 386 00:20:08,623 --> 00:20:11,063 Goodnight, Mr. Pink. 387 00:20:20,063 --> 00:20:22,223 And we're off. 388 00:20:50,543 --> 00:20:52,483 Home, sweet home. 389 00:20:55,183 --> 00:20:57,863 Canoodling cancelled, if you need a hand... 390 00:21:00,698 --> 00:21:02,043 Doctor? 391 00:21:03,003 --> 00:21:04,563 You invisible? 392 00:21:06,293 --> 00:21:08,703 I am so going to confiscate that watch. 393 00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:12,313 Where are you, my sleeping beauty? 394 00:21:20,423 --> 00:21:23,063 Gotcha! Let's dance! 395 00:21:24,173 --> 00:21:25,532 Doctor? 396 00:21:26,933 --> 00:21:28,563 Where are you? 397 00:21:31,143 --> 00:21:32,483 Hello? 398 00:21:39,623 --> 00:21:41,934 Nine-stop-query-rescan. 399 00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:45,503 Target-reacquired-success-success. 400 00:21:45,503 --> 00:21:47,543 Come on, come on, come on. 401 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:49,523 Gangway! 402 00:21:52,933 --> 00:21:54,883 Not far now. Come on. 403 00:21:55,903 --> 00:21:58,433 Nine-stop-parsing-data-pursue. 404 00:21:58,433 --> 00:21:59,583 Bingo. 405 00:22:02,743 --> 00:22:04,263 Target-reacquired. 406 00:22:06,293 --> 00:22:07,563 Hello? 407 00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:14,653 What? 408 00:22:14,653 --> 00:22:18,053 Red, red, red, red, red. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 409 00:22:18,533 --> 00:22:22,653 Range-one-point-four-nine. Scan-complete-problem-problem. 410 00:22:22,653 --> 00:22:24,863 Listen. I'm unarmed. 411 00:22:25,293 --> 00:22:26,573 I'm peaceful. 412 00:22:26,573 --> 00:22:28,173 Do you understand? 413 00:22:28,173 --> 00:22:31,653 I know that you shouldn't be on this planet but I can help you with that. 414 00:22:31,653 --> 00:22:33,933 Problem-solution-destroy. 415 00:22:33,933 --> 00:22:35,373 I want a word with you. Problem... 416 00:22:35,373 --> 00:22:37,908 Get back! solution-destroy. 417 00:22:41,223 --> 00:22:42,783 No! Get away from me! 418 00:22:47,603 --> 00:22:49,603 Temporal-disrupt. 419 00:22:50,663 --> 00:22:53,461 Warning-warning. Temporal-failure. 420 00:22:54,213 --> 00:22:56,303 No, no, no, no. Doctor, stop! 421 00:22:57,533 --> 00:22:59,393 Doctor! Warning-warning. 422 00:22:59,393 --> 00:23:01,823 System-failure. Abort. Abort. 423 00:23:15,063 --> 00:23:17,823 Well done, PE. Brilliant work! 424 00:23:19,183 --> 00:23:20,503 "What's this? 425 00:23:20,503 --> 00:23:22,133 "A chronodyne generator? 426 00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:25,543 "I'll just deactivate that, shall I? I've got a swimming certificate, 427 00:23:25,543 --> 00:23:28,383 "so that qualifies me to meddle with higher technology. 428 00:23:28,383 --> 00:23:31,683 "Never mind that some people are actually trying to save the planet. 429 00:23:31,683 --> 00:23:35,423 "Oh, no. There's only room in my head for cross-country and the offside rule." 430 00:23:36,593 --> 00:23:38,963 Danny, what are you doing here? I was checking up on him. 431 00:23:38,963 --> 00:23:42,403 He's been up to something, fiddling with the electric, but what the... 432 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:45,383 No. 433 00:23:46,003 --> 00:23:47,369 What... 434 00:23:48,003 --> 00:23:50,163 Did you see that thing? Tell me you saw that thing. 435 00:23:50,163 --> 00:23:52,243 I saw the thing, yeah. Doctor, are we safe, 436 00:23:52,243 --> 00:23:53,903 is the planet safe? It's gone? 437 00:23:53,903 --> 00:23:55,898 Yes, yes, yes, yes, for the moment. 438 00:23:55,898 --> 00:23:57,783 But the thing is, you see, the chronodyne generators 439 00:23:57,783 --> 00:24:00,853 have to be precisely aligned to generate the vortex, 440 00:24:00,853 --> 00:24:02,783 but the sergeant here, he went and moved one. 441 00:24:02,783 --> 00:24:04,583 But the chronodyne worked, it's gone. 442 00:24:07,163 --> 00:24:08,783 But not far enough. 443 00:24:09,103 --> 00:24:11,893 The vortex will open here again, 444 00:24:11,893 --> 00:24:14,293 but not in a billion years. Then when? 445 00:24:14,293 --> 00:24:16,853 Uh, 74 hours. Three days. 446 00:24:16,853 --> 00:24:21,733 Three days to think of something new because now it knows what to expect. 447 00:24:21,733 --> 00:24:24,463 Now it has scanned me 448 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:28,323 and it will kill me on sight, thanks to PE here. 449 00:24:29,893 --> 00:24:32,393 Clara, why are you talking to him like that? 450 00:24:34,353 --> 00:24:37,653 Why are you using words like chronodyne? 451 00:24:38,183 --> 00:24:40,368 Was that thing a space thing? 452 00:24:44,493 --> 00:24:46,848 Oh, my God, you're from space. 453 00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:53,343 You're a spacewoman. You said you were from Blackpool. 454 00:24:56,153 --> 00:24:57,843 It's a play! 455 00:24:58,393 --> 00:25:00,093 For the summer fete. It's a what? 456 00:25:00,093 --> 00:25:03,063 Yes, it's a play. Shut up, it is a play. 457 00:25:03,063 --> 00:25:05,303 We are rehearsing a play. 458 00:25:05,953 --> 00:25:07,983 A surprise play! And, um... 459 00:25:07,983 --> 00:25:10,623 you see, the vortex thing is, is a lighting effect. 460 00:25:10,623 --> 00:25:11,693 Very clever. 461 00:25:11,693 --> 00:25:14,543 And that thing is one of the kids. 462 00:25:15,253 --> 00:25:16,701 In fancy dress. 463 00:25:18,353 --> 00:25:21,063 A really, really good fancy dress. 464 00:25:21,063 --> 00:25:22,463 How stupid do you think I am? 465 00:25:22,463 --> 00:25:24,453 I'm willing to put a number on it. 466 00:25:24,453 --> 00:25:26,673 I'm not a moron, Clara. 467 00:25:27,323 --> 00:25:29,483 And he's not the caretaker. 468 00:25:30,983 --> 00:25:32,323 He's... 469 00:25:32,933 --> 00:25:34,413 your dad. 470 00:25:34,413 --> 00:25:36,443 Your space dad. 471 00:25:38,693 --> 00:25:40,103 Genius. 472 00:25:40,103 --> 00:25:42,223 That is... That is really, 473 00:25:42,223 --> 00:25:43,953 really brilliant reasoning. 474 00:25:43,953 --> 00:25:46,993 How can you think that I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age? 475 00:25:46,993 --> 00:25:48,213 We do not look the same age. 476 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:50,243 I was being kind. Right, I'm going to hypnotise him, 477 00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:51,583 I'm going to erase his memory. Doctor, stop! 478 00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:53,043 Tiny little brain, it'll only take a moment. 479 00:25:53,043 --> 00:25:54,123 He's my boyfriend. 480 00:25:54,123 --> 00:25:55,913 Well, I'll try not to erase the whole thing. 481 00:25:55,913 --> 00:25:58,213 I'll leave the... He's my boyfriend. I... 482 00:25:58,213 --> 00:26:00,623 thought you'd figured this out. 483 00:26:00,623 --> 00:26:02,123 Him? Yes, him. 484 00:26:02,123 --> 00:26:04,023 No, he's not. Yes, he is. 485 00:26:04,453 --> 00:26:06,343 Yes, I am. But he's a PE teacher. 486 00:26:06,343 --> 00:26:08,573 You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher. 487 00:26:08,573 --> 00:26:10,713 It's a mistake. You've made a boyfriend error. 488 00:26:10,713 --> 00:26:13,303 I am not a PE teacher. I am a maths teacher! 489 00:26:13,303 --> 00:26:15,343 You're a soldier. Why would you go out with a soldier? 490 00:26:15,343 --> 00:26:19,063 Why not get a dog or a big plant? Because I love him! 491 00:26:26,613 --> 00:26:28,193 Why would you say that? 492 00:26:28,193 --> 00:26:30,343 Is this part of the surprise play? 493 00:26:30,343 --> 00:26:32,223 There is no surprise play. 494 00:26:32,223 --> 00:26:35,383 Oh, it's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it? 495 00:26:35,383 --> 00:26:37,253 What about the handsome one, the one with the bow tie? 496 00:26:37,253 --> 00:26:39,873 Who? Adrian? No, no, no. He's just a friend and not my type. 497 00:26:39,873 --> 00:26:42,603 Clara, are you going to explain any of this? 498 00:26:42,603 --> 00:26:44,383 Who is this guy? 499 00:26:46,613 --> 00:26:48,303 The Doctor is... 500 00:26:51,213 --> 00:26:52,263 Go on. 501 00:26:52,263 --> 00:26:55,053 Yes, explain. Who is he? 502 00:26:55,053 --> 00:26:57,483 Why have you never mentioned him? Because... 503 00:26:58,653 --> 00:26:59,983 he's an alien. 504 00:27:03,063 --> 00:27:06,388 Are you an alien? No, no, no, I'm still from Blackpool. 505 00:27:07,532 --> 00:27:10,433 Me and the Doctor, we travel through time and space. 506 00:27:10,433 --> 00:27:12,474 Exhibit A. 507 00:27:13,743 --> 00:27:15,503 It's called a Tardis, 508 00:27:15,913 --> 00:27:19,223 but it's disguised as an old police phone box. 509 00:27:19,223 --> 00:27:20,553 And? It's bigger on the inside. 510 00:27:20,553 --> 00:27:23,243 And it's bigger on the inside than the outside. 511 00:27:25,183 --> 00:27:26,403 Voila. 512 00:27:28,453 --> 00:27:30,863 And we travel the universe in it. 513 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,483 And what about that thing? Did you bring it here? 514 00:27:48,483 --> 00:27:52,203 No, I'm going to protect you from that thing. 515 00:27:52,203 --> 00:27:53,663 You said it was coming back. 516 00:27:53,663 --> 00:27:56,043 Yes, it is coming back. Thanks to you. 517 00:27:56,043 --> 00:27:58,103 This is a school. 518 00:27:58,103 --> 00:27:59,673 We have to evacuate, call the Army. 519 00:27:59,673 --> 00:28:02,583 And that is the most dangerous thing right there. 520 00:28:03,373 --> 00:28:06,173 Are you sure hypnotising is not on the menu? Yes. 521 00:28:06,633 --> 00:28:08,823 Well, we need to get help. This is an emergency. 522 00:28:08,823 --> 00:28:10,753 Look, take him away, shut him up, 523 00:28:10,753 --> 00:28:13,383 shut him down, up or down, it doesn't matter to me. 524 00:28:13,383 --> 00:28:16,613 I've got a lot of work to do. Again. Will you be okay? 525 00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:20,863 Why wouldn't I be okay? I was fine till you two blundered in. 526 00:28:20,863 --> 00:28:23,043 Am I just being ignored? Oh, come on, Danny. 527 00:28:23,043 --> 00:28:24,533 It's all right, it's... 528 00:28:24,533 --> 00:28:27,453 Come on, it's all fine. You'll be okay. 529 00:28:27,453 --> 00:28:30,903 Let's, uh, get those legs moving. That's it, down the stairs. 530 00:28:30,903 --> 00:28:33,823 Yep, that's it. This can all be explained, 531 00:28:33,823 --> 00:28:35,733 and everything will be fine. 532 00:28:35,733 --> 00:28:37,993 And when this is all over... 533 00:28:37,993 --> 00:28:39,463 you can finish the job. 534 00:28:39,983 --> 00:28:41,163 How do you mean? 535 00:28:41,163 --> 00:28:45,382 Well, you've explained me to him. You haven't explained him to me. 536 00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:58,923 What do you think? 537 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:06,505 Say something. 538 00:29:09,263 --> 00:29:10,641 So... 539 00:29:12,313 --> 00:29:13,743 there's an alien, 540 00:29:13,743 --> 00:29:16,443 that used to look like Adrian. 541 00:29:18,683 --> 00:29:20,693 Then he turned into a Scottish caretaker 542 00:29:20,693 --> 00:29:23,213 and every now and then, when I'm not looking, you... 543 00:29:23,213 --> 00:29:25,333 elope with him. I don't elope. 544 00:29:25,333 --> 00:29:27,203 Do you love him? No. 545 00:29:28,013 --> 00:29:30,323 Really had enough of the lies. 546 00:29:31,983 --> 00:29:34,533 Not in that way. What other way is there? 547 00:29:34,533 --> 00:29:36,713 You know what I mean. I don't know what you mean. 548 00:29:36,713 --> 00:29:39,663 I know what you tell me, which isn't always the truth. 549 00:29:42,253 --> 00:29:44,183 Danny... Why do you do it? 550 00:29:46,693 --> 00:29:49,343 Why do you fly off in the box with him? 551 00:29:50,033 --> 00:29:51,393 The truth, 552 00:29:51,393 --> 00:29:53,443 please, just this once. 553 00:29:57,803 --> 00:29:59,193 Because... 554 00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:02,363 it's amazing. 555 00:30:03,953 --> 00:30:05,283 Because... 556 00:30:05,823 --> 00:30:07,103 I see wonders. 557 00:30:09,573 --> 00:30:10,808 Okay. 558 00:30:19,313 --> 00:30:21,163 What are you thinking? 559 00:30:22,043 --> 00:30:23,910 That's a good question. 560 00:30:27,483 --> 00:30:29,733 It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you, 561 00:30:29,733 --> 00:30:32,205 when you know what lies they've told you. 562 00:30:33,098 --> 00:30:36,533 You say you've seen wonders, you've seen... 563 00:30:36,533 --> 00:30:39,293 amazing things, and... 564 00:30:39,293 --> 00:30:41,323 you kept them secret. 565 00:30:42,013 --> 00:30:43,563 From me. 566 00:30:46,333 --> 00:30:48,721 So what do you think of me, Clara? 567 00:30:50,273 --> 00:30:52,513 Please, tell me how I fix this. 568 00:30:52,513 --> 00:30:55,563 I just want to know who you are. You know who I am. 569 00:30:56,103 --> 00:30:57,863 When you're with him. 570 00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:01,723 When you're with the Doctor. 571 00:31:11,983 --> 00:31:15,373 Okay, I think we've just about got enough time before parents' evening. 572 00:31:15,373 --> 00:31:17,306 An invisibility watch? 573 00:31:17,306 --> 00:31:19,373 Not even a ring. Press the button on the side, 574 00:31:19,373 --> 00:31:22,213 you're invisible. You'll see me with the Doctor, the other me. 575 00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,423 The exactly the same other me. 576 00:31:24,423 --> 00:31:25,808 Okay? 577 00:31:32,783 --> 00:31:34,403 Afternoon. 578 00:31:34,403 --> 00:31:36,773 Thanks for keeping out of my way. 579 00:31:36,773 --> 00:31:39,163 You haven't brought Dave with you, I hope. 580 00:31:39,803 --> 00:31:41,613 His name's Danny. 581 00:31:41,613 --> 00:31:43,163 And no, I haven't. 582 00:31:44,213 --> 00:31:47,253 I explained it all to him. He gets it, he took it really well. 583 00:31:47,253 --> 00:31:49,243 Pass me that synestic. 584 00:31:53,863 --> 00:31:57,071 So, when the Blitzer comes back, are you going to catch him with that? 585 00:31:57,071 --> 00:32:00,723 It'll be a long and fiddly job. It's going to take me at least 24 hours. 586 00:32:00,723 --> 00:32:03,223 Even longer if people keep talking to me, so do keep going. 587 00:32:03,223 --> 00:32:05,253 So, if it comes back Thursday night, are you sure about that? 588 00:32:05,253 --> 00:32:06,663 'Cause you said the chronodyne is unstable. 589 00:32:06,663 --> 00:32:09,023 If you want bother someone, go and bother PE. 590 00:32:11,013 --> 00:32:13,133 He's a maths teacher. 591 00:32:13,133 --> 00:32:14,743 That's a shame, I like maths. 592 00:32:14,743 --> 00:32:16,603 Not a soldier. 593 00:32:22,093 --> 00:32:23,643 Interesting. 594 00:32:25,033 --> 00:32:26,363 What is? 595 00:32:26,853 --> 00:32:28,303 I'm bored. 596 00:32:28,303 --> 00:32:30,183 Let's go somewhere fun, what do you say? 597 00:32:30,183 --> 00:32:32,153 Do you want to see the Thames frozen over? 598 00:32:32,153 --> 00:32:34,103 Oh, those frost fairs! But, you can't. 599 00:32:34,103 --> 00:32:36,273 The Skovox thing. It's a time machine. 600 00:32:36,273 --> 00:32:38,643 We can get back straightaway, like we always do on your dates. 601 00:32:38,643 --> 00:32:41,753 Just make sure you don't get yourself a tan or anything, or lose a limb. 602 00:32:41,753 --> 00:32:43,333 I don't think we should, not this time. 603 00:32:43,333 --> 00:32:46,193 You've never said no before. Not even in the middle of dinner. 604 00:32:46,193 --> 00:32:47,903 Remember you had to eat two meals in a row? 605 00:32:47,903 --> 00:32:50,523 I just think, with the school in danger... 606 00:32:52,113 --> 00:32:54,013 Danny! Why are you... He already knows I'm here. 607 00:32:54,013 --> 00:32:56,824 That's why he's talking like that. He's being clever. 608 00:32:57,793 --> 00:32:59,633 Now you mention it, being a Time Lord, 609 00:32:59,633 --> 00:33:02,778 I can feel a light-shield aura when it's right next to me. 610 00:33:02,778 --> 00:33:04,573 Time Lord? 611 00:33:04,573 --> 00:33:07,733 Might have known. Might have known what? 612 00:33:07,733 --> 00:33:10,183 Well, the accent's good, but you can always spot the aristocracy. 613 00:33:10,183 --> 00:33:12,063 It's in the... 614 00:33:12,063 --> 00:33:13,503 the attitude? Danny! 615 00:33:13,503 --> 00:33:15,683 Now, um, Time Lords, do you salute those? 616 00:33:15,683 --> 00:33:17,023 Definitely not. 617 00:33:17,023 --> 00:33:18,333 Sir! 618 00:33:18,333 --> 00:33:20,003 And you do not call me sir. 619 00:33:20,003 --> 00:33:22,413 As you wish, sir! Absolutely, sir! 620 00:33:22,413 --> 00:33:24,933 And you can get out of my Tardis! 621 00:33:24,933 --> 00:33:28,133 Immediately, sir. Doctor, this is stupid, this is unfair. 622 00:33:28,133 --> 00:33:29,493 One thing, Clara. 623 00:33:29,493 --> 00:33:32,263 I'm a soldier, guilty as charged. You see him? 624 00:33:32,263 --> 00:33:34,023 He's an officer. I am not an officer! 625 00:33:34,023 --> 00:33:36,293 I'm the one who carries you out of the fire. 626 00:33:36,293 --> 00:33:38,283 He's the one who lights it. Out. Now. 627 00:33:38,283 --> 00:33:39,853 Right away, sir? Straight now? Yes. 628 00:33:39,853 --> 00:33:42,563 Am I dismissed? Yes, you are! 629 00:33:43,983 --> 00:33:45,573 That's him. 630 00:33:45,573 --> 00:33:47,513 Look at him, right now. 631 00:33:47,513 --> 00:33:49,063 That's who he is. 632 00:33:54,808 --> 00:33:57,063 On balance, I think that went quite well. 633 00:34:06,433 --> 00:34:07,384 Danny! 634 00:34:07,384 --> 00:34:10,803 It's not time to go home yet. It's parents' evening. 635 00:34:14,323 --> 00:34:15,983 Humans. 636 00:34:15,983 --> 00:34:18,303 I never learn. 637 00:34:18,303 --> 00:34:20,283 What's in the box? 638 00:34:21,993 --> 00:34:24,562 It's not really a policeman, is it? 639 00:34:27,473 --> 00:34:31,463 You want to know what's in that box? I'll tell you what's in that box. 640 00:34:32,373 --> 00:34:34,283 It's a time machine, 641 00:34:34,283 --> 00:34:36,423 it also travels in space, 642 00:34:36,423 --> 00:34:38,023 and it usually contains a man 643 00:34:38,023 --> 00:34:41,283 who just wants to get on with his work of preventing 644 00:34:41,283 --> 00:34:44,213 the end of the world, but keeps being interrupted by 645 00:34:44,213 --> 00:34:46,093 boring little humans. 646 00:34:46,093 --> 00:34:47,833 Cool. 647 00:34:47,833 --> 00:34:50,088 So, that's really a spaceship? 648 00:34:50,933 --> 00:34:53,263 I'm serious, I'm trying to save this planet. 649 00:34:53,263 --> 00:34:55,743 End of the world for me tonight, whatever you do. 650 00:34:55,743 --> 00:34:57,093 Parents' evening. 651 00:34:57,093 --> 00:34:59,643 Is your name really Disruptive Influence? 652 00:34:59,643 --> 00:35:01,163 Courtney Woods. 653 00:35:01,673 --> 00:35:03,093 Can I go in space? 654 00:35:03,093 --> 00:35:04,413 I'll let you know. 655 00:35:04,413 --> 00:35:07,156 I may have a vacancy. But not right now. 656 00:35:10,573 --> 00:35:12,143 Two days. 657 00:35:12,663 --> 00:35:14,203 I can do it. 658 00:35:19,582 --> 00:35:22,383 Right, are we quorate? 659 00:35:22,383 --> 00:35:24,453 Time to admit the hordes. 660 00:35:24,453 --> 00:35:27,363 And look who's at the front of the queue. Who are they? 661 00:35:27,363 --> 00:35:29,853 Courtney Woods' mum and dad. Can someone else do them first? 662 00:35:29,853 --> 00:35:31,703 No problem, Ade. I can cope with anything tonight. 663 00:35:31,703 --> 00:35:33,683 Oh, happy days! 664 00:36:08,283 --> 00:36:12,183 No, no, no. No, no, no, no! 665 00:36:12,773 --> 00:36:14,433 I would say yes, 666 00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:16,613 I'm afraid Courtney is a disruptive influence. 667 00:36:16,613 --> 00:36:19,693 Yeah, but last year you said she was a very disruptive influence. 668 00:36:19,693 --> 00:36:22,961 So, I suppose that counts as an improvement. 669 00:36:30,262 --> 00:36:34,273 Excuse me, I think the caretaker wants me. Sorry, Mrs. Christodoulou, 670 00:36:34,273 --> 00:36:36,743 I think the caretaker wants me, too. 671 00:36:36,743 --> 00:36:38,313 What about my Angelina? 672 00:36:38,313 --> 00:36:40,553 Yeah, she's great, yeah, a really great girl, A-plus, 673 00:36:40,553 --> 00:36:42,860 ten out of ten, top of the class. Sorry. 674 00:36:43,683 --> 00:36:46,963 Although, actually, handwriting could be better. 675 00:36:51,223 --> 00:36:52,988 I'm sure they'll be back in a moment. 676 00:36:52,988 --> 00:36:55,903 Looks like our Courtney was right about those two. 677 00:36:56,353 --> 00:36:58,763 What's happening? Clara, the vortex is opening. 678 00:36:58,763 --> 00:37:00,513 You said Thursday night. Right, hall, quick. 679 00:37:00,513 --> 00:37:02,283 PE, shut up. 680 00:37:02,283 --> 00:37:03,983 Clara, it'll scan the area, 681 00:37:03,983 --> 00:37:06,043 if it gets to parents' evening, it'll kill them all. 682 00:37:06,043 --> 00:37:08,544 We've got to evacuate. Shut up! 683 00:37:08,544 --> 00:37:10,483 Quickly. What do I do? 684 00:37:12,133 --> 00:37:14,293 It'll be here any second. Get to the hall. 685 00:37:14,293 --> 00:37:17,233 Give it some squirts of helicon energy, setting number 41, 686 00:37:17,233 --> 00:37:19,423 no more than three seconds each, random pulses. 687 00:37:19,423 --> 00:37:22,343 Distract it, then you lead it away from the hall, give me two minutes. 688 00:37:22,343 --> 00:37:24,303 Then what? Just run straight to the Tardis. 689 00:37:24,303 --> 00:37:26,863 But your gadget isn't ready yet. Twenty-four hours, you said. 690 00:37:26,863 --> 00:37:30,183 Yes, well, I've revised that down to two minutes. Probably. Clara, go. 691 00:37:30,183 --> 00:37:32,183 On my way. You're using her like a decoy? 692 00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:33,513 No, not like a decoy. 693 00:37:33,513 --> 00:37:34,633 As a decoy. 694 00:37:34,633 --> 00:37:37,303 Don't they teach you anything at stupid school? 695 00:37:37,303 --> 00:37:38,883 Well, is there anything I can do? 696 00:37:38,883 --> 00:37:41,823 Yes, yes, and this is very, very important. 697 00:37:41,823 --> 00:37:43,457 Leave us alone! 698 00:37:47,703 --> 00:37:49,613 Disrupt-temporal-lock. 699 00:37:49,613 --> 00:37:52,203 Disengaged-scan. Here we go. 700 00:37:56,103 --> 00:38:01,623 Incoming-stop-identified-helicon- helicon-commence-retargeting. 701 00:38:05,223 --> 00:38:08,023 Target-acquired. Destroy. 702 00:38:13,973 --> 00:38:15,543 Target-within-range. 703 00:38:17,623 --> 00:38:20,983 Problem-solution-destroy. 704 00:38:23,673 --> 00:38:24,823 Destroy. Destroy. 705 00:38:24,823 --> 00:38:27,823 Doctor, now, it's got to be now! Twenty seconds. 706 00:38:27,823 --> 00:38:29,143 Destroy. Destroy. 707 00:38:29,823 --> 00:38:31,220 Doctor! 708 00:38:37,233 --> 00:38:39,063 Am I green? Am I green? You're green! 709 00:38:39,063 --> 00:38:40,663 Stop! Skovox Blitzer! 710 00:38:40,663 --> 00:38:44,283 Awaiting-orders. Superior-Skovox-Artificer. 711 00:38:44,283 --> 00:38:46,103 Analyse-stop-analyse-stop. 712 00:38:46,103 --> 00:38:47,953 Superior-recognised. 713 00:38:47,953 --> 00:38:49,703 Pattern-110. 714 00:38:50,083 --> 00:38:52,003 Orders-orders. 715 00:38:52,003 --> 00:38:54,783 Why is it listening to you? Listening to its superior. 716 00:38:54,783 --> 00:38:57,053 This is a rough copy. It thinks I'm its general. 717 00:38:57,053 --> 00:39:00,703 Initiate-input. Commence-shutdown-protocol. 718 00:39:00,703 --> 00:39:02,983 No-conflict. Conclusion? 719 00:39:02,983 --> 00:39:04,463 Problem-solution. 720 00:39:06,203 --> 00:39:07,373 Conclusion? 721 00:39:07,373 --> 00:39:10,183 Final-input-code-missing. Emergency-terminate. 722 00:39:10,183 --> 00:39:12,023 Initiate-self-destruct-in... 723 00:39:12,023 --> 00:39:13,423 I forgot the input code. nine-eight... 724 00:39:13,423 --> 00:39:15,643 I forgot the final input code! seven-six... 725 00:39:15,643 --> 00:39:18,333 Do it now! I need time. Distract it, Clara! 726 00:39:18,333 --> 00:39:20,223 Me? What can I do? three-two... 727 00:39:20,223 --> 00:39:22,183 Oi, Skovox, over here. 728 00:39:24,213 --> 00:39:25,883 Under-attack. 729 00:39:30,903 --> 00:39:36,823 Artificer-Artificer-stop-confirm- override-final-input-code. 730 00:39:36,823 --> 00:39:40,243 Code-accepted. Abort-self-destruct. 731 00:39:41,053 --> 00:39:44,863 Orders-accepted-stop-stop-stop. 732 00:39:45,703 --> 00:39:49,203 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you were amazing! 733 00:39:49,203 --> 00:39:53,843 Oh, my God, you were so brilliant! Well, yeah, I was okay, wasn't I? 734 00:39:54,413 --> 00:39:57,573 I was behind you every step of the way. 735 00:39:57,573 --> 00:39:59,723 Had to make sure you were safe. 736 00:40:00,643 --> 00:40:02,153 You okay? 737 00:40:03,763 --> 00:40:05,083 Okay. 738 00:40:06,513 --> 00:40:08,063 Just okay? 739 00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:12,063 It's all right, it doesn't matter. I don't need him to like me. 740 00:40:12,923 --> 00:40:15,413 It doesn't matter if he likes me or hates me. 741 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:18,113 I just need to do exactly one thing for you. 742 00:40:18,753 --> 00:40:20,363 Doctor... 743 00:40:20,363 --> 00:40:22,103 am I right? 744 00:40:24,183 --> 00:40:25,783 Yes. 745 00:40:25,783 --> 00:40:27,993 What? What one thing? 746 00:40:28,983 --> 00:40:31,373 I need to be good enough for you. 747 00:40:31,373 --> 00:40:32,663 That's why he's angry. 748 00:40:32,663 --> 00:40:34,583 Just in case I'm not. 749 00:40:41,023 --> 00:40:44,148 He uh, he did just save the whole world. 750 00:40:45,613 --> 00:40:47,203 Yeah, yeah. 751 00:40:49,383 --> 00:40:50,903 Good start. 752 00:40:55,243 --> 00:40:58,293 Farewell, Skovox Blitzer. Have a nice war. 753 00:40:58,293 --> 00:41:00,353 So, Courtney Woods, 754 00:41:00,353 --> 00:41:02,183 impressed yet? 755 00:41:02,733 --> 00:41:04,013 Actually, 756 00:41:04,013 --> 00:41:05,613 I'm feeling a bit ill. 757 00:41:05,613 --> 00:41:08,343 Ah, it can be a bit overwhelming. 758 00:41:08,343 --> 00:41:10,293 But look... 759 00:41:10,293 --> 00:41:12,633 the Olveron Cluster. 760 00:41:12,633 --> 00:41:14,893 A million stars... 761 00:41:14,893 --> 00:41:17,923 a hundred million inhabited planets. 762 00:41:23,473 --> 00:41:25,293 Ah, yes... 763 00:41:25,293 --> 00:41:27,488 there has been a spillage. 764 00:41:34,273 --> 00:41:36,313 So what do you think of him now? 765 00:41:36,883 --> 00:41:38,883 Of the Doctor? Yeah. 766 00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:42,103 See, he's all right, isn't he, really? Underneath it all. 767 00:41:48,783 --> 00:41:49,864 Okay. 768 00:41:49,864 --> 00:41:51,543 Tell me what you're thinking. 769 00:41:54,043 --> 00:41:57,226 I know men like him. I've served under them. 770 00:41:58,133 --> 00:41:59,643 They... 771 00:41:59,643 --> 00:42:02,687 push you and make you stronger, 772 00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:05,733 till you're doing things you never thought you could. 773 00:42:05,733 --> 00:42:09,143 I saw you tonight, you did exactly what he told you. 774 00:42:09,143 --> 00:42:11,323 You weren't even scared. 775 00:42:13,203 --> 00:42:15,348 And you should have been. 776 00:42:16,713 --> 00:42:18,183 I trust him. 777 00:42:18,813 --> 00:42:20,763 He has never let me down. 778 00:42:23,903 --> 00:42:24,863 Fine. 779 00:42:27,753 --> 00:42:29,953 If he ever pushes you too far, 780 00:42:29,953 --> 00:42:32,383 I want you to tell me, because I know what that's like. 781 00:42:33,993 --> 00:42:36,553 You'll tell me if that happens, yeah? Yeah. 782 00:42:36,553 --> 00:42:38,263 It's a deal. No. 783 00:42:38,263 --> 00:42:40,603 It's a promise. Okay, I promise. 784 00:42:41,943 --> 00:42:44,333 And if you break that promise, Clara, we're finished. 785 00:42:44,333 --> 00:42:47,863 Don't say that. I am saying it because... 786 00:42:47,863 --> 00:42:50,273 if you don't tell me the truth, I can't help you, 787 00:42:50,273 --> 00:42:53,843 and I could never stand not being able to help you. 788 00:42:54,293 --> 00:42:55,957 Are we clear? 789 00:42:56,716 --> 00:42:57,863 Yes. 790 00:42:58,183 --> 00:42:59,707 We're clear. 791 00:43:13,023 --> 00:43:15,153 It was mad, it was like 792 00:43:15,153 --> 00:43:17,293 in a film or on the telly, like with... 793 00:43:17,293 --> 00:43:19,023 science fiction guns. 794 00:43:19,023 --> 00:43:22,333 Skovox Blitzer, sounds like. We've had a few in from that. 795 00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:24,843 Wouldn't feel too bad. If I hadn't... 796 00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:28,363 If I hadn't... 797 00:43:29,453 --> 00:43:31,003 Hang on. 798 00:43:31,853 --> 00:43:33,383 That doesn't make sense. 799 00:43:34,343 --> 00:43:37,683 Makes perfect sense to me. How did I escape? 800 00:43:38,643 --> 00:43:40,383 I don't remember how I got away. 801 00:43:40,383 --> 00:43:41,873 Well, I was coming to that. 802 00:43:41,873 --> 00:43:45,023 I'm afraid you really rather didn't. 803 00:43:51,533 --> 00:43:53,273 Then how did I get here? 804 00:43:53,273 --> 00:43:55,503 Well, big question. 805 00:43:55,503 --> 00:43:57,543 Where am I? What name would you like? 806 00:43:57,543 --> 00:44:00,473 There's a range. The afterlife. The Promised Land. 807 00:44:00,473 --> 00:44:03,043 I'm partial to the Nethersphere. 808 00:44:06,893 --> 00:44:08,923 My God! 809 00:44:17,033 --> 00:44:20,063 Sorry, she's a bit busy today. 810 00:44:20,703 --> 00:44:24,203 So, any questions?