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_
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It's alive!
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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It's hard to find
a great-tasting breakfast
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that won't raise my cholesterol.
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Did somebody ask
for a tasty breakfast?!
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- Wow!
- Ohh!
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Nothing beats the taste
of oats and honey!
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00:00:47,849 --> 00:00:49,183
It's gr-r-r-r-r-eat!
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- What the [bleep]...
- Aah!
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No! No! Oh, my God, no!
This can't be happening!
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It'll be okay, bee.
You'll be okay.
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Yeah, yeah. I'll be okay.
I'll just...
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- Whoa! Ohh!
- Ohh!
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00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:08,034
- Oh, man!
- It's so cold.
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Oh, my heart ...
I can feel it slowing down.
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Oh. Oh, it stopped.
I'm ... I'm so scared.
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Honey Nut Cheerios has oats
that'll help lower cholesterol ...
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part of this nutritious breakfast.
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Mmm! Mmm!
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- Ohh.
- Ohh. Sorry, babe.
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00:01:27,856 --> 00:01:29,356
Damn. That is creepy.
23
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:31,725
The way our neighbor's ex-wife
spies on us every day?
24
00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:38,432
No. I mean, that ...
that freakin' thing!
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00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:40,968
Don't mind me.
Ah-la-la-la-la!
26
00:01:43,138 --> 00:01:46,006
Adam can't defeat Count Marzo,
but He-Man can.
27
00:01:46,041 --> 00:01:50,610
And maybe He-Man can ...
can do it himself this time?
28
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Oh, Cringer, always so afraid.
29
00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:56,249
By the power of Grayskull!
30
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I never consented to this.
I'm literally pissing myself!
31
00:02:00,322 --> 00:02:04,424
- Is this what you wanted? Is it?!
- I have the power!
32
00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:06,159
And I have no power!
33
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,894
What kind of hero forces
his best friend
34
00:02:07,929 --> 00:02:10,163
into violent adventures
without permission?!
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Oh, great.
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Now I'm shitting myself
in addition to the piss.
37
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- Ha ha!
- No!
38
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Oh, don't point
that sword at me! No!
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00:02:24,246 --> 00:02:25,477
Feeling better, Battle Cat?
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00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:28,248
Yes, of course I do!
I'm Battle Cat now!
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00:02:28,283 --> 00:02:31,117
I'm standing in a pool
of piss, shit, and vomit,
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but otherwise great.
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♪ On the Magic School Bus ♪
44
00:02:37,993 --> 00:02:43,029
Today we're going to be learning
about the geology of mountains!
45
00:02:43,064 --> 00:02:45,532
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
46
00:02:47,202 --> 00:02:50,204
- Goin' down!
- Oh, my God!
47
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Aaaaaah!
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A mountain! Ohh!
49
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,079
Stay calm, children.
50
00:02:59,114 --> 00:03:02,115
This... is...
a learning experience.
51
00:03:02,150 --> 00:03:05,085
I knew I should have stayed
home today and cut myself.
52
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We're stuck in the mountains!
53
00:03:06,655 --> 00:03:08,421
What are we gonna do,
you dried-up hippie?!
54
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:12,326
There's only one thing
we can do ... cannibalism!
55
00:03:12,327 --> 00:03:13,494
What?!
56
00:03:13,495 --> 00:03:16,363
Whoever picks the shortest
straw will get eaten.
57
00:03:16,398 --> 00:03:19,399
- Eat this, you psycho!
- Don't be silly, Ralphie.
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Your penis wouldn't feed a fly.
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In fact, the buttocks
are the most nutritious.
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Thanks for the tip.
61
00:03:32,814 --> 00:03:35,448
Miss Frizzle takes just like chicken!
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I just remembered ...
we all brought food!
63
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Ew! Bologna?!
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00:03:43,158 --> 00:03:46,359
Now, that's what I call eating ass.
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00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,995
And that sucker was flying
all over the place.
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00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:51,632
- Now, stop me if you've heard this.
- I will, 'cause I've heard
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00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:53,633
every one of your Quidditch
stories, Harry.
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It was zigging around.
Oh, those things can move, man!
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And I was the best seeker
ever to play the game.
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Bartender, Accio another round!
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00:04:02,143 --> 00:04:04,678
Jesus! That's enough butterbeer
for one night, all right?
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00:04:04,713 --> 00:04:07,414
Oh, my God, Ginny.
I didn't realize you were here.
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00:04:07,449 --> 00:04:10,450
Didn't realize I was having
a beer with my wife, Ginny.
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Come on, Harry...
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I love your new
snakeskin jacket, Ginny.
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Agh! Hogwarts!
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Best years of my life, man.
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Now my freakin' kid's there,
having all the fun,
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while I get stuck with the tuition bill.
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Do you know what, mate?
I'm done.
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This conversation died at exactly
19 minutes past 9:00 tonight.
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00:04:27,569 --> 00:04:28,802
Oh, you don't like talking to me?
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00:04:28,803 --> 00:04:33,273
Well, good luck finding another wizard
who can speak parseltongue.
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I can talk to other snakes,
you [bleep] narcissist.
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Me, too!
I'm gonna go find the other snakes
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and tell them what
a butthole you are.
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00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:44,826
♪ All the snakes gonna know
you're the biggest butthole of all! ♪
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00:04:44,861 --> 00:04:46,667
Dude, you are in no condition to fly.
89
00:04:46,702 --> 00:04:48,688
Oh, is that you, Mum?
Oh, no, it can't be my mum.
90
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:52,459
My mum is dead!
Heigh-ho, Firebolt!
91
00:04:52,494 --> 00:04:54,995
Aaaah! Ugh!
Ugh! Aaah!
92
00:04:55,030 --> 00:04:57,364
Iceberg, dead ahead!
93
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:01,035
Hard astern!
This is the end, lads.
94
00:05:01,036 --> 00:05:04,104
- Save the women and children.
- Belay that order, captain.
95
00:05:04,139 --> 00:05:05,606
Who dares?!
96
00:05:05,607 --> 00:05:09,680
There's only one order that
matters here ... ride or die!
97
00:05:15,116 --> 00:05:16,816
Jesus [bleep] Christ!
98
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,287
Oh, it's all about family.
99
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:28,095
- Mr. Toretto, you've saved the Titanic.
- My work here is done.
100
00:05:28,096 --> 00:05:33,166
Here are two tickets to the
premiere of my new "xXx" movie.
101
00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:35,035
Uh, no, thank you.
102
00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:37,114
Oh, being naughty is the best!
103
00:05:37,149 --> 00:05:39,767
We are the bad kids!
104
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,244
Ew! Are you in costume,
or do you really look like that?
105
00:05:44,245 --> 00:05:48,581
I have been sent to help especially
rude and naughty children.
106
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I am Nanny McPhee.
Now get down from there.
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Nanny McPhee, your wart!
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- The more you behave, the prettier I become.
- Is that right?
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00:06:03,732 --> 00:06:06,466
♪ Penis, vagina, penis, vagina ♪
110
00:06:06,501 --> 00:06:09,569
♪ Penis, vagina,
penis in your vagina ♪
111
00:06:09,604 --> 00:06:12,005
♪ Penis, vagina, penis, vagina ♪
112
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,707
♪ Penis... ♪
113
00:06:13,742 --> 00:06:15,342
Ooh. Perhaps we took it too far.
114
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No, ugly people are worthless.
She said it herself.
115
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That would be a terrible
message, say, in a movie.
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Doc, it hurts when I bend
my arm like this.
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Then don't bend your arm like that.
118
00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:30,023
Oh, excellent diagnosis!
119
00:06:33,161 --> 00:06:35,929
Mr. President, they've reached
the Bin Laden compound.
120
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:38,331
Send in SEAL Team 5.
121
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:40,868
Oh, oh! Aah!
122
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Ooh! Cha!
123
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Ohh! Hah!
124
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What is happening?
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Hee! Cha!
Ho! Ahhhh.
126
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:56,182
Okay... I have no idea
what's going on right now.
127
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Hoo! Cha!
128
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Someone remind me
what they're doing.
129
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:01,588
It's an act of faith made physical
through the beauty of dance.
130
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,690
Okay [bleep] it.
Initiate plan "B."
131
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I'm ready to make a comeback.
132
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,929
Great, Jem! Great!
Very exciting.
133
00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:12,398
And how many Instagram
followers do you have?
134
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:15,668
- What's Instagram?
- Okay, get the hell out of my office.
135
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:19,940
There are children here somewhere.
I can smell them.
136
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,908
Come out, my kiddie-winkies.
137
00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:24,744
Come out, come out for candy!
138
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:27,614
Hello! Little children!
139
00:07:27,649 --> 00:07:30,483
Is there a child in here somewhere?
140
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,285
- Hmm?
- Hello. I'm Chris Hansen.
141
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,220
God damn it! Ugh!
142
00:07:34,255 --> 00:07:37,891
Okay, I've seen the show.
I'll take a seat.
143
00:07:37,926 --> 00:07:41,461
It says here your given
legal name is Child Catcher.
144
00:07:41,496 --> 00:07:44,230
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
I don't have sex with children.
145
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I want to make that absolutely clear!
146
00:07:46,601 --> 00:07:50,003
I use them as slave labor
in underground mines.
147
00:07:50,038 --> 00:07:52,405
That's no so bad, is it?
148
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,174
Okay. You're free to go.
149
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:58,211
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
I know what this means.
150
00:07:58,246 --> 00:07:59,846
Oh, yes!
151
00:07:59,881 --> 00:08:01,681
Indeed, as soon as you
exit the front door,
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- you will be tackled and arrested.
- Oh, brother, what a show!
153
00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:09,989
Yeah! Yeah!
154
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Ohh! Ohh! Ugh!
155
00:08:11,426 --> 00:08:13,426
Ohh! Oww!
156
00:08:13,461 --> 00:08:16,262
Ugh!
157
00:08:16,297 --> 00:08:17,631
We've searched far and wide
158
00:08:17,632 --> 00:08:20,466
to find the most eligible
bachelor on earth.
159
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:24,704
This season, 25 women will
compete to win the hand of...
160
00:08:24,739 --> 00:08:26,006
James Bond.
161
00:08:26,007 --> 00:08:27,274
James Bond.
162
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To me, a beautiful woman
is like a beautiful flower.
163
00:08:30,745 --> 00:08:34,314
I can't wait to fertilize it.
164
00:08:34,349 --> 00:08:37,651
He seems a little retro to me.
I bet he smells like my dad.
165
00:08:37,652 --> 00:08:40,020
But that's cool.
Guys who smell like my dad
166
00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:43,523
and take my car away and
[bleep] my mom are my weakness.
167
00:08:43,558 --> 00:08:45,892
Yeah, a spray-tan date
just sounded like the perfect way
168
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,427
for James and I to bond.
169
00:08:48,463 --> 00:08:50,563
I just made that up.
I did, really.
170
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:53,132
Turn to camera and smile.
171
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:55,802
I prefer to get my tans
the old-fashioned way ...
172
00:08:55,837 --> 00:08:58,404
from the glowing
cancer ball in the sky.
173
00:08:58,439 --> 00:09:01,507
But I must say, this shade
looks fantastic on me.
174
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,110
Romaine, come see!
175
00:09:03,111 --> 00:09:05,478
So sorry, Mr. Bond,
but there was an accident,
176
00:09:05,513 --> 00:09:08,382
and Romaine's spray-tan
went on a little too thick.
177
00:09:08,383 --> 00:09:10,850
Oh, that's so tragic...
178
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:12,719
yet sexy.
179
00:09:12,754 --> 00:09:15,188
At the moment of death,
her bowels released.
180
00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:18,124
Like I said, sexy.
181
00:09:19,427 --> 00:09:21,227
You're eating a bowl of red meat,
182
00:09:21,262 --> 00:09:24,598
- and your chopsticks are lit cigars!
- It's an art.
183
00:09:24,599 --> 00:09:27,400
Ow! Shit!
Burned my [bleep] face!
184
00:09:27,435 --> 00:09:29,268
I'm not crazy about
the way you eat.
185
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:32,005
Oh, well, I'm not crazy about
the name Sienna Johnson.
186
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,607
My girls usually have
more playful names.
187
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,976
How'd you feel if I called you
188
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:39,000
- "Sienna Thingyoulike"?
- Please don't.
189
00:09:39,035 --> 00:09:41,581
- How about "Wanda Handjob"?
- No, thank you.
190
00:09:41,616 --> 00:09:43,850
Platter O'Labia.
191
00:09:43,885 --> 00:09:47,186
Yeah!
Point break, bitches!
192
00:09:47,221 --> 00:09:49,322
James and the contestants
went on many dates
193
00:09:49,357 --> 00:09:51,157
and attended the boom
guy's funeral.
194
00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:54,027
Now it's time for the rose ceremony.
195
00:09:54,062 --> 00:09:57,230
Chris, beautiful women
are like snowflakes ...
196
00:09:57,265 --> 00:09:59,565
completely interchangeable.
197
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,403
So I guess I'll give this rose
to the babe with the hoots ...
198
00:10:03,438 --> 00:10:05,538
Bendover Von Assex.
199
00:10:05,573 --> 00:10:09,443
Yeah, it's Amy, and you already
gave me a gift, James ... chlamydia.
200
00:10:09,444 --> 00:10:12,412
You gave her chlamydia?
You gave me chlamydia!
201
00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:13,680
I got chlamydia!
202
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:17,417
Who in this room didn't get
chlamydia from James Bond?
203
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,854
It burns really bad, huh?
204
00:10:21,149 --> 00:10:25,285
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~