1
00:00:18,501 --> 00:00:20,330
It's alive!
2
00:00:39,246 --> 00:00:42,387
I don't know
whathappened to my voice, Dave.
3
00:00:42,421 --> 00:00:44,561
Just look at the flowers, Alvin.
4
00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:49,325
Who's next?
5
00:00:49,359 --> 00:00:52,949
Run, Theodore! Shiiiiit!
6
00:00:52,983 --> 00:00:54,330
Lady of the Lake,
7
00:00:54,364 --> 00:00:56,263
King Arthur
lies dying from battle
8
00:00:56,297 --> 00:00:58,575
and would see Excalibur
returns to you,
9
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:00,577
so when a new king arises,
10
00:01:00,612 --> 00:01:03,925
he shall find Excalibur waiting.
11
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:10,656
Oh, bollocks.
12
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:11,691
Uh...
13
00:01:12,658 --> 00:01:15,489
Excalibur!
14
00:01:15,523 --> 00:01:17,007
Blazes.
15
00:01:17,042 --> 00:01:20,010
Oh, are you getting
frustrated, magic arm?
16
00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:21,667
There's just as much lake
over here.
17
00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:24,084
Come here to the sword,
magic arm.
18
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,511
Have you ever tried
throwing a sword?
19
00:01:27,535 --> 00:01:30,159
The center of balance
betrays the throw.
20
00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:31,919
Have pity.
21
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,577
Oh, bloody right.
22
00:01:34,611 --> 00:01:36,451
I'm going to get the sword,
and I'm going to cut
23
00:01:36,475 --> 00:01:38,374
the magic arm off of you,
24
00:01:38,408 --> 00:01:40,065
you lake with an arm on it.
25
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,550
You.
26
00:01:42,585 --> 00:01:43,724
Oh! Right!
27
00:01:43,758 --> 00:01:46,416
Come here, you bitch!
28
00:01:46,451 --> 00:01:49,937
Percival, God has laidhis grace upon me,
29
00:01:49,971 --> 00:01:51,801
for I have recovered, and I...
30
00:01:51,835 --> 00:01:54,459
- Oh, shit.
- Jesus!
31
00:01:54,493 --> 00:01:55,977
Get back here!
32
00:01:56,012 --> 00:01:57,151
Ow!
33
00:01:57,186 --> 00:02:01,086
And so
Legend of Excalibur lives on.
34
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,295
This one's a bit
of a fixer-upper
35
00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:05,125
but has excellent curb appeal.
36
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:06,436
I'll take it.
37
00:02:06,471 --> 00:02:08,093
You don't want
to see the inside?
38
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,440
Are you kidding? It's a skull!
39
00:02:10,475 --> 00:02:12,787
I'm a skull! Oh, come on.
40
00:02:12,822 --> 00:02:14,893
I'll give you 15% over listing.
41
00:02:18,241 --> 00:02:21,071
Oh,
shit. I'm under a flight path.
42
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:23,177
I'll take it!
43
00:02:24,385 --> 00:02:28,976
Happy birthday, Ronald!
Make a wish!
44
00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:33,394
Yes! Now that's a Happy Meal.
45
00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:37,018
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
46
00:02:37,364 --> 00:02:38,296
Come on. This is a library.
47
00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:39,159
Shh!
48
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,057
Study.
49
00:02:41,091 --> 00:02:42,300
Where were you carrying those?
50
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:45,475
Leave the library! Shh.
51
00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:47,201
The Mirror of Erised
52
00:02:47,236 --> 00:02:50,963
shows us our heart'smost desperate desire.
53
00:02:50,998 --> 00:02:52,862
- Boobs.
- Titties.
54
00:02:52,896 --> 00:02:54,243
- Boobs.
- Tits.
55
00:02:54,277 --> 00:02:55,968
- Boobs.
- Boobs.
56
00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:57,003
- Titties.
- Boobs.
57
00:02:57,832 --> 00:02:59,558
What is it you see, Harry?
58
00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:02,941
Oh, um, I s-s-saw my parents.
59
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,805
W-What do you see, Professor?
60
00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:14,642
Socks... Thick woolen socks.
61
00:03:16,679 --> 00:03:19,026
Charles Fort speaking. Roosevelt here.
62
00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:20,993
There's a most
unfortunate ordeal
63
00:03:21,028 --> 00:03:24,031
developing in the Pine Barrens.
64
00:03:24,065 --> 00:03:25,550
Ah, the Jersey Devil.
65
00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:27,552
Yes,
the unfortunate creaturemust be acting up
66
00:03:27,586 --> 00:03:29,243
because it's mating season.
67
00:03:29,278 --> 00:03:30,762
I'm on my way.
68
00:03:30,796 --> 00:03:32,246
Duty calls, my dear.
69
00:03:32,281 --> 00:03:34,731
Every monster just needsa solid whopping.
70
00:03:38,839 --> 00:03:40,150
Perfect landing.
71
00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:42,291
Here, chicky, chicky, chicky!
72
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,120
Aah!
73
00:03:46,571 --> 00:03:47,537
Oh!
74
00:03:47,572 --> 00:03:48,987
You like it rough, eh?
75
00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:51,610
Ha ha!
76
00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:54,164
Care for a bunch of fives, you
rambunctious hoyden?
77
00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,167
Bup, bup!
78
00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:59,998
Bup! Whoa!
79
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,793
Now, a bit of...
80
00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:03,898
ought to subdue
your beastly nature.
81
00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:10,871
Wow, once again,
music tames the savage beast,
82
00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:13,736
and by music,
I mean my prodigious engine.
83
00:04:16,186 --> 00:04:19,535
Oh, come to take a whack
of the white staff, have you?
84
00:04:19,569 --> 00:04:21,537
Well, come forth then,
lusty goblin!
85
00:04:21,571 --> 00:04:24,056
I've got two ripe ghoulies
waiting for you!
86
00:04:26,783 --> 00:04:27,853
Why?
87
00:04:27,888 --> 00:04:29,510
Why did I not figure this out?
88
00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:32,237
Why would aliens look apes?
89
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:36,034
Why would I,
a NASA-trained astronaut,
90
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,864
not recognize the night sky?
91
00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,694
Why would aliens speak English?
92
00:04:40,728 --> 00:04:44,939
So stupid, stupid maniac!
93
00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:47,942
I carry a big gun,
and I won't treat you gently,
94
00:04:47,977 --> 00:04:49,289
so tell me, Fabrizio,
95
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,360
where is the skinny Sicilian?
96
00:04:51,394 --> 00:04:53,223
Frank, it's time.
97
00:04:55,571 --> 00:04:57,227
- Come on, man.
- You're Frank Castle.
98
00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:58,332
You're a star.
99
00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:00,472
You're a big, bright,
shining star.
100
00:05:00,507 --> 00:05:02,232
Yep. Here's your problem.
101
00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:04,856
Gross. Is there more than one?
102
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:06,858
There's 802 of them. You
gotta catch them all.
103
00:05:06,892 --> 00:05:09,274
Ugh, how much is
that going to cost?
104
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,345
Ah, yeah. Mm, yeah...
105
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:13,071
Wheres my littlehoney, Derek?
106
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,107
Geez, Mom! Knock first!
107
00:05:15,142 --> 00:05:17,455
I-I-I'm sorry,
Derek. I just wanted to say good night.
108
00:05:17,489 --> 00:05:18,973
Ugh, good night.
109
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,806
Mm, yeah. Yeah...
110
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,152
Don't forgetto set your alarm...
111
00:05:25,186 --> 00:05:27,119
Oh, my God! Derek!
112
00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:30,364
I said, "Knock"!
113
00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:32,366
Aah! Good catch, loser.
114
00:05:32,401 --> 00:05:33,367
Ugh.
115
00:05:33,402 --> 00:05:34,506
Boo-yah!
116
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:36,266
'Sup, blood?
117
00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:37,682
What's shaking?
118
00:05:37,716 --> 00:05:40,995
The Koosh Kins... from the '90s?
119
00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:42,756
Yeah, nice memory, home slice.
120
00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:45,379
Get ready to join
the cool leagues!
121
00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:05,572
Trish,
I'm really sorryfor what's about to happen.
122
00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:14,201
You are ruining everything!
123
00:06:14,235 --> 00:06:16,041
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. What's up? Wait, wait, wait.
124
00:06:16,065 --> 00:06:18,550
Guys, are we, like,
no longer with it?
125
00:06:18,585 --> 00:06:20,138
Well, that kid is whack, homes.
126
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,346
Let's hit Blockbuster
127
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,590
and rent the latest
Pauly Shore movie.
128
00:06:23,624 --> 00:06:25,005
Word! Word! Word! Word!
129
00:06:25,039 --> 00:06:28,664
It puts the lotion on its skin,
130
00:06:28,698 --> 00:06:30,113
or it gets the hose.
131
00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:34,083
I've got to stop
using this temp agency.
132
00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:37,086
Is it weird I used
to kidnap your girlfriend?
133
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,950
Eh.
134
00:06:38,984 --> 00:06:41,021
Welcome, X-Men,
to your first day.
135
00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:44,438
When did you gifted
youngsterslearn you were gifted?
136
00:06:44,473 --> 00:06:46,406
Hi, my name is Scott Summers.
137
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,305
I realized I had optic blast
when I survived a plane crash.
138
00:06:49,339 --> 00:06:50,479
Great.
139
00:06:50,513 --> 00:06:53,551
Now I will use my psychic
powersto show that moment.
140
00:06:53,585 --> 00:06:54,828
What now?
141
00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:58,556
I love you,
Victoria's Secret catalog.
142
00:06:58,590 --> 00:07:01,179
Oh, oh! Aaaaaah! Wow!
143
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,975
Uh... I, uh... Wh-What?
That never...
144
00:07:04,009 --> 00:07:05,045
It's okay, Scott.
145
00:07:05,079 --> 00:07:07,427
Mutant abilities emergeduring puberty.
146
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,600
Who's next? Bobby.
147
00:07:08,635 --> 00:07:10,222
Holy shit.
I don't want to do this.
148
00:07:10,257 --> 00:07:11,879
Look, let's just say
I was being bullied,
149
00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:13,122
and I turned a bully into ice.
150
00:07:13,156 --> 00:07:14,434
Excellent, Bobby.
151
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,263
Now let's see it
on the big board.
152
00:07:16,297 --> 00:07:18,472
Okay, I'm already dropping out,
so... s-so don't!
153
00:07:18,507 --> 00:07:20,405
Cool, everyone is asleep.
154
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,269
Good thing I've packed
my Victoria's Secret...
155
00:07:22,303 --> 00:07:23,650
Ugh!
156
00:07:23,684 --> 00:07:24,858
God damn it!
157
00:07:24,892 --> 00:07:26,549
Who's next? Jean.
158
00:07:27,792 --> 00:07:29,414
I re-enroll. Bobby is back in.
159
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,484
Go ahead. Goodness.
160
00:07:30,519 --> 00:07:33,073
Well, I suppose maybe it
happened during, um,
161
00:07:33,107 --> 00:07:34,281
a slumber party pillow fight?
162
00:07:34,315 --> 00:07:35,558
Yeah, it did. Yeah.
163
00:07:35,593 --> 00:07:37,249
And then my top
accidentally came off,
164
00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:40,114
and I could hear
the other girls' thoughts,
165
00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:41,944
and that is when I knew.
166
00:07:41,978 --> 00:07:43,980
Show it. Show it.
Show it. Show it. Show it.
167
00:07:44,015 --> 00:07:47,052
Thank you, Jean. Let's take a looky-loo.
168
00:07:47,087 --> 00:07:49,572
This shrimp cocktail
is delicious,
169
00:07:49,607 --> 00:07:52,817
but I wish I had a napkin.
Oh, there's one.
170
00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:54,681
Oh, neat.
171
00:07:54,715 --> 00:07:56,855
I have special powers.
172
00:07:56,890 --> 00:08:00,514
Oh, no.
I think the shrimp was...
173
00:08:00,549 --> 00:08:01,895
Oh, gross!
174
00:08:01,929 --> 00:08:03,172
Turn it off! No, no.
175
00:08:03,206 --> 00:08:06,520
Youngster Jean waited
patientlythrough your vision.
176
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:18,290
Is this what you wanted,
you pervs?
177
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,086
Out of lasagna.
178
00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:23,744
Maybe that weirdo across
the street has some.
179
00:08:23,779 --> 00:08:24,849
Another thrilling journey
180
00:08:24,883 --> 00:08:27,541
through Garfield's
one dimension.
181
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:33,098
Mondays.
182
00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:34,755
Garfield, no!
183
00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:35,929
I'm nothing without you,
184
00:08:35,963 --> 00:08:37,931
no marketing value whatsoever.
185
00:08:37,965 --> 00:08:41,969
Don't you bury that cat
in the Pet Sematary now.
186
00:08:42,004 --> 00:08:43,937
Sometimes, dead is better.
187
00:08:43,971 --> 00:08:45,421
How could dead be better?
188
00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:48,804
Not dead, Ded's.
Ded's Pet Crematorium.
189
00:08:53,187 --> 00:08:54,499
Oh, no. Odie, move.
190
00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:58,572
Yeah, I'm sure
this will be fine.
191
00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:00,298
This will not be fine.
192
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,680
He who disturbs
our sacred ground
193
00:09:02,714 --> 00:09:05,545
shall pay a terrible price.
194
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:08,651
Didn't you hear me?
Can anyone hear me?
195
00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:11,516
I once had sex with my horse.
196
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,312
That felt good to get out.
197
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,487
I love being old and alone.
198
00:09:17,522 --> 00:09:19,662
I don't have to wipe
when I shit.
199
00:09:19,697 --> 00:09:22,872
Eh?
200
00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:26,704
That's the most upsetting place
to cut.
201
00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:31,605
That'sthe most upsetting place
to cut.
202
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:34,228
Stop trying to top yourself.
203
00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:36,343
Well, now I'm going to slice
that little flap of skin
204
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,853
between your penis
and your balls.
205
00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:41,028
With Garfield and Odie gone,
206
00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:43,099
it's just you and me, Nermal.
207
00:09:43,134 --> 00:09:46,137
I'm the world's cutest cat
208
00:09:46,171 --> 00:09:49,623
living with the world's
saddest 37-year-old man.
209
00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:52,661
My life is crap.
210
00:09:52,695 --> 00:09:55,180
I hate Mondays.
211
00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:59,184
Garfield, you look terrible.
212
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,703
I look exactly the same.
213
00:10:00,738 --> 00:10:03,223
That's what I meant... terrible.
214
00:10:05,984 --> 00:10:08,262
So, no, your cat is nota zombie.
215
00:10:08,297 --> 00:10:10,482
All his fat must have cushioned
the impact from the truck.
216
00:10:10,506 --> 00:10:12,473
You buried me alive, you fat-shaming,
217
00:10:12,508 --> 00:10:13,889
loveless piece of milk toast.
218
00:10:13,923 --> 00:10:15,062
But he killed our neighbor.
219
00:10:15,097 --> 00:10:17,306
Classic case... of the lasagna withdrawals.
220
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:18,594
They cause short-term
irritability.
221
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,860
Short-term?
222
00:10:19,895 --> 00:10:22,518
Did it wear off before or after
you killed Nermal?
223
00:10:22,552 --> 00:10:23,208
Before.
224
00:10:23,243 --> 00:10:25,694
That pussy was a twat.
225
00:10:29,456 --> 00:10:31,251
My greatest novel yet.
226
00:10:32,942 --> 00:10:33,943
Argh!
227
00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:36,670
No van could kill me!
Steve King!
228
00:10:49,614 --> 00:10:51,754
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
229
00:10:51,778 --> 00:10:54,778
Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk)
www.opensubtitles.org