1 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:11,209 [ Theme music plays ] 2 00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:12,477 [ Laughs ] 3 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:17,849 ♪♪ 4 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:23,188 ♪♪ 5 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,123 Man: It's alive! 6 00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:33,532 ♪♪ 7 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:34,666 [ Laughs ] 8 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:40,005 ♪♪ 9 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,041 [ Laughs ] 10 00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:47,212 [ Laughs ] Where are your red balloons? I'm running low. 11 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,047 We're out of red balloons, actually, 12 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:52,050 but we have these balloons. 13 00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,118 I'll make it work. 14 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:55,387 [ Both grunting ] 15 00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:57,022 ♪♪ 16 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,924 Stupid living skeletons. 17 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:00,659 What's even holding you guys up? 18 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,761 My bones are holding me up. 19 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,397 Bones are connected by ligaments and tendons. 20 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,943 I guess I don't get what you're asking. 21 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,834 Oh, listen. This is your ulna. 22 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:11,403 This is your radius. This is your humerus. 23 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,805 Therefore, if I cut away your ulna and radius 24 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,340 from the humerus with my sword, 25 00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,676 like so... What?! Dude! 26 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,377 ...am I even cutting through? 27 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,413 It's a containment field that binds us together. 28 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,181 Where'd you hear that? We all got a pamphlet 29 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:24,827 when they formed us from the Hydra's teeth. 30 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:28,720 And you read this pamphlet with no eyes? 31 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,490 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You just blew my mind. 32 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,092 [ Gasps ] We don't have minds! We don't have minds! 33 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,294 See? It's bananas from start to finish. 34 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:38,563 I'm flipping out, man. I'm flipping the fuck out. 35 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,598 I'm scared, man. 36 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,099 Hold me tight. I'm scared, too. 37 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,001 I'm just gonna leave you to this. 38 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:44,703 ♪ Tattoo, tattoo ♪ 39 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,005 My Maui demigod powers will be unmatched 40 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,442 once I have the sea tattooed across my back. 41 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,177 Uh-huh. 42 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:53,979 And now a sneak peek at 43 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:56,515 the gender-flipped reboot of "Splash." 44 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:02,354 Well, I'm certainly... hooked. 45 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,223 I wish the Cat in the Hat were here. Me too. 46 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,392 As you wish. 47 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,727 I take it back. What? 48 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,795 I'm experimenting with my look. 49 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,632 You look like a reply guy with a ska band. What's a ska band? 50 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:16,334 You look like a Reddit user with a podcast. Redditor... 51 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:17,836 You look like a guy who watches 52 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,238 Little League games through binoculars. I hate sports! 53 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,806 You look like a guy who sleeps 54 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:22,985 in the supply closet of a GameStop. 55 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:25,510 You look like Sugar Ray's tour manager. 56 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,013 I manage the shit out of Sugar Ray. 57 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,750 If we're gonna find the ghost that's haunting this old 58 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,752 rock 'n' roll venue, we need to split up. 59 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,387 Daphne and I will go this way. 60 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,289 And, like, Scoob and I will go this way. 61 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,257 Ha ha! 62 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:42,327 Oh. So the ugly one's left alone to be murder bait again. 63 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,596 Awesome, guys. 64 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,531 Ohh! [ Laughs evilly ] 65 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,200 You're trespassing in the home 66 00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,335 of the Diabolical Disc Demon. 67 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,703 Prepare to be... 68 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,071 Oh, fuck! Shit! 69 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,574 Let me guess. You're a middle-aged white guy 70 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,175 posing as a phantom rock star 71 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,077 in order to scare some record producers 72 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,179 out of their royalties. Well, when you summarize it, 73 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,781 I sound like a fucking dork. 74 00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,150 I'm going home to put my head inside a box of wine. 75 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,652 You know, I like boxed wine. 76 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,954 Ohh! 77 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,722 Oh, yeah! Ow! I'm taking your vagina 78 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,857 straight to the top of the charts, baby. 79 00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:14,626 Should I... Should I take the mask off? 80 00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:15,961 No! Leave it on! 81 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,196 It stays. Why break the mystery? 82 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,465 Velma: The Scooby gang never caught another villain, 83 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,866 but I caught them all... 84 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:24,135 plus herpes from the Miner 49er. 85 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,938 The Scooby gang's Yelp reviews fell to zero stars. 86 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,473 Revenge was mine. 87 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,975 Velma, can I tell you a secret? 88 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:34,246 Last time we all split up, Fred and I made out. 89 00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:37,349 Oh, Daphne, you're so bad. 90 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,718 ♪♪ 91 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:40,753 Give me the child. 92 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,654 Let me rule over you, Sarah, 93 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,923 and you'll receive everything a girl 94 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:49,261 could want. Love me, and I'll forever be your slave. 95 00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:52,530 Dude, I'm 16. You are so canceled. 96 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,898 Canceled?! Now, 97 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,834 let's not blow this out of proportion. 98 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,869 I mean, we both made mistakes. 99 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,372 You, you wished your brother away. 100 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,740 Yeah. I'm a moody teen. 101 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,542 You're an adult man gyrating in spandex, 102 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,278 saying you want to be my slave. 103 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,847 What's next? You gonna ask for a picture of my feet? 104 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,049 You're so gross. I'm an eternal being. 105 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,818 It's not sexual for me. Look into the crystal. 106 00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:16,321 You'll see a perfectly reasonable explanation. 107 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,090 Oh, my God. And the magic tricks you're always doing. 108 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,793 No way you learned those to impress adult women. 109 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,763 Wait, is that why you stopped time? So girls like me 110 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,264 will never turn 18? 111 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,443 Well, now you're just twisting 112 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,000 everything to make it seem worse. 113 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,102 Oh, my God! 114 00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:34,139 Just wait until I post about this on Twitter. 115 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,907 Wait, Sarah. Come on now. I'm begging you. 116 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,177 These goblins depend on me. I have a career as a king. 117 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:42,514 Yeah. We haven't even covered the power imbalance. 118 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,884 You're a monarch, and I'm a babysitter. 119 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,186 I remember. [ Gasps ] I remember the words! 120 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,388 #MeToo! 121 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,924 Ruinous response! 122 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,860 Ooh! This mattress is just right. 123 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,363 It's not too big, it's not too small. 124 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,632 Get out of my store, you freak. 125 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,568 [ Slow music plays ] 126 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,637 Dude. I can't believe your dad volunteered 127 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,572 to chaperon the dance. Ugh! 128 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,574 I know. So embarrassing. 129 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,843 Hi, son. Holy shit, dude. 130 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,044 Pig Boy's here. 131 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,846 - Pig Boy's here! - He's right there! 132 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,214 [ Squeals ] 133 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,882 Young man: Pig Boy! [ Snorting ] 134 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,185 Gah! Pig Boy is so cool. 135 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,953 Oh-ho-ho-ho! 136 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,223 Dude! Pig Boy's eating your dad's pants. 137 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,692 Okay, now, please... Hey, please stop chewing. 138 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,127 Oh, my God! 139 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,229 Pig Boy, the most popular boy in school, 140 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:34,366 is eating my dad's pants. So cool! 141 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:38,536 Hey, Logan, is that your dad being chased around by Pig Boy? 142 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,038 No, Pig Boy, stop. 143 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,973 Please, someone help me. 144 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,875 Uhh... yeah. 145 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,044 Wow. You must be really cool, 146 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,946 if Pig Boy is chasing your dad around. 147 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,348 Oh, you're crushing it, dude! 148 00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:53,184 Young man: Hey, is that your dad getting eaten by Pig Boy? 149 00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:57,555 Remember me as more than just this torso. 150 00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,859 Pig Boy totally ate your dad! Awesome. 151 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,628 That makes Logan the second most popular boy in school, 152 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,130 right behind Pig Boy. 153 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,297 That's the rule. 154 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,933 Together: [ Chanting ] Logan! Logan! Logan! 155 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,503 [ Choking ] Logan! Logan! Logan! 156 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,504 Aaahhhh! 157 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,505 Dude, bro, 158 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,306 Pig Boy's choking on your dad. 159 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:16,474 [ Record scratching ] 160 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,476 Don't die on me, Pig Boy. 161 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,078 [ Squeals ] 162 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,346 [ Crowd cheering ] 163 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,047 Together: [ Chanting ] Pig Boy! Pig Boy! 164 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:24,416 Oh, Pig Boy, 165 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,950 what would we do without you? 166 00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,285 Pig Boy! Pig Boy! 167 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:30,989 Ah, here I go close the time loop. 168 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,658 Into the steel. No! 169 00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:37,195 This is cheese. Cheese? 170 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,631 Affirmative. Nacho cheese. 171 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,866 - It's actually pretty good. - Huh? 172 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,302 [ Siren chirps ] Man: Hey, you kids! Get out of the cheese! 173 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,873 Oh, no, it's his cheese! Run! 174 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:53,845 Hey, if some hooded thug comes at me, I stand my ground. 175 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,648 You step to me, you're gonna fucking die. 176 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:03,121 Um, I'd like to file, like, 80 malpractice suits. 177 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,958 Did I drink too much beet juice again? 178 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:10,662 No, Anna. You're getting your period. 179 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,565 Hello. I'm Menstrual Care Bear. 180 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,867 I thought Care Bears brought things like cheer 181 00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,302 and birthday wishes. 182 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,170 Oh, we provide whatever children need 183 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,438 at any particular moment. 184 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:24,476 Hugs, rainbows, feminine hygiene products. 185 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,277 Let's go! 186 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,446 Why does this hurt so much? 187 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:29,781 Uterine cramping. 188 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,950 Of course, the 5 pounds of Funfetti frosting you 189 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:34,085 just inhaled like an anteater to distract 190 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,888 from the pain didn't help. [ Laughs ] 191 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,557 Here, take some painkillers. Yay. 192 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,292 [ Grunting ] Whee! 193 00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:42,560 Whoopsie! 194 00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:46,297 That may have been a bit over the recommended dosage. 195 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:49,367 That's supposed to go up there?! 196 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,113 But don't leave it in for more than eight hours. 197 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,038 You could get toxic shock syndrome and die. 198 00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:55,206 I could what?! 199 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,808 Now, you get a running start, 200 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,676 and I'll spear your vagina. 201 00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:01,312 This is how all girls do it. Ahhh! 202 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:04,449 Well, this has been fun, but don't worry. 203 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,752 I'll be back before you know it... in 28 days. 204 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:08,787 Every month? 205 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,288 This is the worst! 206 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:14,626 If I don't show up, you get to meet Natal Care Bear. 207 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:18,463 Putting in a tampon's way easier than getting your GED, kid. 208 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,165 Aaaaahhh! 209 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,067 They said it couldn't be done, but I played "The Sims" 210 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,670 for eight days straight, living on nothing but Alpine frost, 211 00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:29,140 Mountain Dew, and Adderall, and I'm doing fi... ine! 212 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,942 [ Snoring ] 213 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:31,977 [ Yawns ] 214 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,811 [ Speaking foreign language ] 215 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,014 Was that Simlish? 216 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:40,952 Oh, my God. I've "Jumanji'd" myself into "The Sims"! 217 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,121 Good morning, sleepyhead. 218 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,523 You're my Sim wife? 219 00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,559 Oh, my God! So cool! 220 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:48,726 Want to WooHoo? 221 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,563 I'm sorry. Do you mean my Woo in your Hoo? 222 00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,131 Yes, please. 223 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,933 WooHoo! 224 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,601 Wow, that was amazing! 225 00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,937 I didn't even have to take my clothes off. 226 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,105 Honey, I think I'm pregnant. 227 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,041 I'm gonna be a dad? 228 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,343 I freaking love being a Sim! 229 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,046 ♪ Being a Sim is the best kind of life ♪ 230 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,882 ♪ Just had a baby with my super-hot wife ♪ 231 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:15,253 ♪ Not clear what my job is, but it pays real good ♪ 232 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,555 Check it out. I bought a spaceship! 233 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:22,660 ♪ And if I run out of money, I just say "rosebud" ♪ 234 00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:24,662 ♪ I love being a Sim ♪ 235 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:27,732 [ Deep voice ] ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 236 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,469 Wow, another great day of being a Sim! 237 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,237 What the... 238 00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,873 Oh, God! It's happening again! 239 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,141 He's getting bored. 240 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:38,509 Who's getting bored? 241 00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,912 The teenage boy who controls our universe. 242 00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:45,116 Every now and then, he gets bored, and things go bad. 243 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,085 Hey, he deleted the bathroom. 244 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,287 He knows that without it, we'll piss ourselves. 245 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,822 And he thinks that's funny. 246 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,523 That sick son of a... 247 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:53,791 [ Sloshing ] Aw! 248 00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:56,494 You know, that is kind of funny. 249 00:09:56,529 --> 00:10:00,398 Does it eventually evaporate, or do we have to clean this? 250 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,301 We have to go. Soon he'll start dropping people in pools 251 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,270 so they drown. To the spaceship! 252 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:08,973 Whee! Ha ha! Aah! 253 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:11,976 See you in hell, mysterious demigod. 254 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,679 Aah! Oh, no. Aah! 255 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:18,483 ♪♪ 256 00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:22,186 [ Gasps ] Oh! Oh, my God. It was me all along, 257 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:26,324 I was the bored demigod torturing those poor Sims. 258 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,558 [ Sniffing ] 259 00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:29,093 Oh, man. And I pissed myself for real. 260 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,962 Well, this isn't fun at all. Well, I guess 261 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:34,432 I'll just take out my anger on those digital hostages. 262 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,601 They don't really have feelings after all. 263 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,636 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 264 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:38,970 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 265 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,972 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 266 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,140 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 267 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,474 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 268 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,309 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 269 00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:46,310 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 270 00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,545 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 271 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,447 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 272 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,516 Ba-gawk! Bawk. 273 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,754 Stoopid Monkey.