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[ Theme music plays ]
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Man: It's alive!
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♪♪
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Grunting ]
Congratulations.
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You're the very first human
to make it to heaven.
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[ Noisemakers blow ]
[ Grunting ]
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I'm so excited
that you're here.
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These are for you.
I made it myself. This, too.
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It's all pretty
self-explanatory.
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Um, okay,
enjoy eternal paradise.
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[ Grunting ]
Uh, let me get that
started for you.
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[ Screaming ]
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Ah, people are
going to love this.
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Ah, it looks so calm
and blue from up here, don't it?
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But the ocean's
the deadliest place on Earth.
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[ Gun clicks ]
[ Grunts ]
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[ Screaming ]
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[ Gun clicks ]
Aah!
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[ Gun cocks ]
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[ Guns cock ]
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[ Growls ]
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[ Roars ]
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[ Chattering ]
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[ Growls ]
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[ Gun cocks ]
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[ Grunts ]
I bet this fish
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has seen some shit.
34
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We, the Sons of Anarchy,
need new blood.
35
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,968
Our brothers
keep getting shot,
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run over, or infected
with gonorrhea.
37
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,474
I got three new prospects,
but they're kind of weird.
38
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[ Engines rev ]
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Biker Mice from Mars?
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Originally from Mars,
then Chicago for a bit,
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then an unsuccessful reboot
back on Mars again.
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Careful, Jax, we don't
want to let in a rat.
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Rat?
My mama didn't raise no rat.
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Hey, relax. To survive
all the organized crime
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that, for some reason,
is centered
46
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in this one small town
in California, we need numbers.
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Let's see if they work out.
48
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Oh, they definitely work out.
Look at those abs.
49
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That mouse has never touched
a piece of cheese in his life.
50
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,142
All in favor
of the new recruits?
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- Aye.
- Yes to the weirdos.
52
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:03,648
Here we come,
and we got lasers.
53
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[ Chuckles ]
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♪ Open road ridin'
laser pirate ♪
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[ Cat meows ]
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You watch out
for that kitty cat there.
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- [ Speaks indistinctly ]
- Oh, God!
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And that, boys,
is why we wear helmets.
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[ Beeping ]
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[ Buzzer ]
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[ Snarling ]
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Wow, I really used to sound
like that.
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Luckily, I found Al Kaplan's
alien-accent reduction course
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Who here feels
they've been judged
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because of the way
they speak?
[ Growls ]
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Over the next four weeks,
my vocal command course
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will transform
your weird alien sounds
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into perfect English.
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00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,074
[ Growls ]
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00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:07,212
E.T. phone home.
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00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,313
First-person singular.
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I phone home.
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Nicely done.
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Before Al,
I was unemployed,
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living in a swamp.
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Virtually no love life.
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Hurt did it
went from heaven you fell?
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00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:23,261
Hmm? [ Gasps ]
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Since mastering my speech,
I started a business,
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bought a better swamp,
and got engaged.
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Remember,
change your speech...
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All: Change your life.
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Thanks, Al.
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I'm not sure
which birth control to use.
85
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What's the pill like?
86
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Why don't I
let it tell you?
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♪ Well, I'm a pill ♪
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♪ An important little pill ♪
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♪ I keep your body
free from babies ♪
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♪ When your dude
can't hold his splooge spill ♪
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♪ When the sperms
enter the uterus ♪
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♪ I karate-chop them
to bits ♪
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♪ 'Cause I make
your cervical lining ♪
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♪ And its mucus
a midlevel thick ♪
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Wow, it sounds like the pill
is the way to go.
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IUD:
I beg to disagree.
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♪ I'm an IUD ♪
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♪ I got 99% efficacy ♪
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♪ And once
inserting me down ♪
100
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Back off,
you uterus usurper.
101
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This is my turf.
102
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You want to go?
103
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[ Indistinct shouting ]
104
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I think I'll just stick
with abstinence.
105
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:27,559
Yeah, well, you didn't seem
that cool anyway, so...
106
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I need to give this
to the one man I can trust.
107
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,007
I thought long and hard
about this,
108
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and it's you,
Batman.
109
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[ Applause ]
110
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[ Krypto barks ]
111
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[ Monitor beeping ]
112
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[ Flatline ]
113
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Batman. Batman.
114
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Huh? What? What?
115
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Fine. I'll entrust
this kryptonite ring
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to somebody else to defeat me
if I ever go insane.
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I really thought
you'd give a damn.
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Don't look at me cry.
Up, up, and away.
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No! Wait!
No, wait!
120
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I-I... I d... I do.
121
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I do, Superman.
122
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Meep, meep!
123
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Meep! Meep!
124
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Meep! Meep!
125
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[ Screech ]
126
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[ Screech ]
127
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Meep! Meep!
128
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:36,772
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
129
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
130
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
131
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
132
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
133
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[ Laughing maniacally ]
134
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:49,774
You cannot stop me,
Earthworm Jim, for I am you.
135
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We are indeed
evenly matched, Evil Jim.
136
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I cannot defeat you,
but do you know what can?
137
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Ha-ha!
Two earthworm Jims,
138
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,655
Did you think getting cut
in half would make two of you?
139
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,957
That's a myth.
- Wait, seriously?
140
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,258
Aw, man.
141
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Ow.
[ Laughs ]
142
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Stupid.
[ Laughs ]
143
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,231
I ain't fighting nobody.
144
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,500
I ain't got no head!
145
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Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop, whoop.
146
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,636
That makes zero sense.
147
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,605
I'm so glad
we're all able to attend
148
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,907
this book-club retreat
in the woods.
149
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,342
For this month's book,
I thought,
150
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:27,278
"Why not pick something related
to our surroundings?"
151
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:30,515
I found this in the attic.
152
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[ Chomping ]
[ Screaming ]
153
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,586
Well,
that was fun.
154
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Next month, we're reading
"Eat, Pray, Love."
155
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[ Screams ]
156
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,758
So, what brings you
into the podiatrist today?
157
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,994
- This has been happening.
- You think that's weird?
158
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Oh, ah!
Look, it went back.
159
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,831
Oh, my God!
Your thumb!
160
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,833
Announcer:
And now back to Wishbone.
161
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Thanks for coming over,
Shelby.
162
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Looks like Joe
has his first crush.
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Reminds me of one
of my favorite books,
164
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which is why
it's this week's story,
165
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"Fifty Shades of Grey."
166
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This is Christian Grey.
167
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,948
He likes to hurt people
he's attracted to.
168
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,317
You're a very bad dog.
[ Moans ]
169
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,486
And this works for me, too,
for some reason,
170
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,154
probably because
my mom was a bitch.
171
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Humiliate me, master.
172
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,659
Let's do it on the furniture
human-style.
173
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Oh, God,
that's against the rules.
174
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:19,030
And then I want you
to sniff my butthole.
175
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,798
[ Howls, barks ]
176
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,735
Mm, like someone brought
lipstick to the party.
177
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,803
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, I don't hate that.
178
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[ Howls ]
Why does your dog
have a boner?
179
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Let him live.
180
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:31,176
[ Beeping ]
181
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[ Sighs ]
Nice going, Diana.
182
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,620
You just had to take
the invisible jet.
183
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:47,058
We're going to need
a bigger boat.
184
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,827
Oh, you are?
Why, because I'm so fat?
185
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,596
That is not what I meant.
186
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:54,599
That is absolu...
I'm shark progressive, okay?
187
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Oh, I know
what you meant.
188
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Asshole.
189
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,739
Give us
your most expensive drink.
190
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,208
My best friend
is getting married.
191
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:05,777
There you go.
Here's, uh, something.
192
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,946
I am terribly sorry
I was delayed,
193
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,858
but if we want to make
our dinner reservation...
194
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,016
We don't serve
her kind in here.
195
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,686
That's a weird line
in the racism sand.
196
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,221
C4-T3 is
my droid of honor.
197
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,423
No droids.
[ Scoffs ]
198
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,202
Well does that mean
your blender has to leave?
199
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,726
Hey, everybody!
200
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,262
This guy's blender
is breaking the rules!
201
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,064
Don't bring Blendy
into this.
202
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,567
Either the droid leaves,
or you don't drink tonight.
203
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:31,235
[ Man coughs in distance ]
[ Slurps ]
204
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,738
Just fuck all of you.
205
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,573
Oh, my God!
206
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:38,610
Does this place due karaoke?
207
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,545
Ugh! If you jumbo shrimps
are done
208
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,546
sucking off
your clarinets,
209
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,149
can we do
some fucking karaoke?
210
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:49,120
♪ Ooh, light-speed lover,
always when I need you ♪
211
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:52,890
♪ A billion parsecs
couldn't keep us apart ♪
212
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:56,060
♪ Rab pimma dewa,
tawa duta you ♪
213
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:59,731
♪ A billion wuppa burr
da blat rawa apart ♪
214
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,333
Woman: You have two mouths
and four throats!
215
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:09,507
♪ Lightspeed lover! Bugga bugga
ya ya nanna vo zaza wa! ♪
216
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:13,111
[ Speaking
native language ]
217
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,513
The bakery was out
of human penises,
218
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:19,117
so we got Gungan, Zabrak,
and Mon Calamari.
219
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,519
It's a tart.
220
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,921
Excuse me, can you take
a hologram us?
221
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,324
Gems down, bitches.
222
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,992
Can you get a higher angle?
223
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,362
- [ Grunts ]
- Ooh!
224
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,665
Ugh, I look like
such a Hutt.
225
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,101
- Priya Kellsarian?
- Yeah?
226
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,704
Did I do something wrong?
- Affirmative.
227
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,806
You almost had
a bachelorette party
228
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,776
without a stripper.
229
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,311
Nice blaster! [ Chuckles ]
Yeah!
230
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:50,715
♪ Light-speed lover,
always when I need you ♪
231
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:54,719
♪ A billion parsecs
couldn't keep us apart ♪
232
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:58,356
♪ Lightspeed lover!
Bugga bugga ya ya ♪
233
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:01,959
♪♪
234
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,797
♪ Lightspeed lover!
Bugga bugga ya ya ♪
235
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:10,168
♪ Nanna vo zaza wa! ♪