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Previously on "Weeds"...
2
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How's my baby boy?
3
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Annancy!
4
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Hi.
5
00:00:10,515 --> 00:00:12,078
Come on, buddy.
6
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You're missing the movie.
It's the good part.
7
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What did he call me?
"Aunt Nancy."
8
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Nance, you're gonna be getting
some papers from my lawyer.
9
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What papers?
Custody.
10
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Custody?!
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We need the judge to understand
that you are trying.
12
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I'd like you to focus
on getting a job.
13
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Whit:
"Rocket Man," Doug Wilson.
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We need an accountant.
Tell me you're in.
15
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If I don't have a job,
I can't get my kid back.
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You start tomorrow, legit.
17
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Someone's here in the room.
I'm the husband.
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Where's the fuckin' doorknob?
19
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We're polyamorous.
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I have cancer.
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Can you work with that?
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You had three years to play.
Now you're gonna give me four.
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You're going to college.
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Student loans are readily
available from many banks.
25
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Applying at
Castle Hill Bank, too?
26
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I'm going everywhere.
I bought a few things.
27
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Where did you get the money
to pay for all this?
28
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I've applied for some loans,
for college.
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I need you to deal.
30
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42 new clients.
31
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We're gonna need more supply.
32
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A lot more.
33
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I want weed.
34
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It's gonna be
at least another month.
35
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I don't have another month.
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[ Indistinct conversations ]
37
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The government, the media,
main street minor leaguers --
38
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they've all taken their swings
at our business
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over the last couple of years.
40
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They've all tried
to put us under,
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blaming us
for their shitty 401(K)S,
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their upside-down mortgages.
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Well, news flash to
all those sniveling dumbasses
44
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who can't make 10 cents
into a dime --
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We're bigger.
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Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
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We're smarter.
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[ Laughter ]
49
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And we are a fuckload richer!
50
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[ All cheering ]
51
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So suck on this!
Am I right?
52
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We make it rain, right?
We make it rain.
53
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And there's gonna be
some more rain today,
54
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because a meat storm is brewing.
55
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Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you...
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Vehement beefsteak!
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[ All cheering ]
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Vehement beefsteak!
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Much beef. Enjoy.
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[ Ringing ]
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Demetri:
You've reached the sarge.
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I'm knee-deep in the muck.
Leave a message.
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[ Beep ]
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Demetri? It's Nancy.
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Checking on
that old supply drop.
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Lots of dry soldiers.
Need rations.
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Call me. Bye.
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You better muscle in there,
Nance. 200 pounds goes fast.
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I think I'll pass.
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How can you pass?
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It's a tradition.
It's America.
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It's fatty,
once-mooing ears of corn.
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What's going on with you?
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I need money.
Could I get an advance?
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I got you the beefgirl gig.
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That's my lawyer.
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So barbaric, so intriguing.
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Fingers-only meat banquet.
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And you've titled
chapter 3 of my book.
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Ooh. Coop's hossin' it down
over there.
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We got to go.
Come on, Nancy.
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Where am I going?
Custody hearing.
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Jill filed papers.
A hearing was granted.
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Custody hearing?
85
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Like "Where's my kid
gonna live" hearing?
86
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Tomorrow in Oakland.
We got to take a red-eye.
87
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I can't get on a plane.
88
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You do remember
I'm living in a halfway house.
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I got you a furlough
for the court appearance.
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State law. Yay!
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48 hours.
Let's go. Chop-chop.
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Stevie's gonna be there,
and I'm gonna get to see him.
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Oh, my God.
94
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Doug, I-I'll be back
in two days.
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Look.
I made a meat volcano.
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What should I bring?
97
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A character witness
would be nice --
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one of your sons,
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whichever one
you think makes you look best.
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Nancy:
Shane, is Silas here?
101
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Working a half day, huh?
102
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Nice life.
103
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I once decorated my room
the same way.
104
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Keeping track of my calls.
105
00:03:54,071 --> 00:03:56,840
Uh, so, these guys here,
all around Midtown,
106
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West Village,
Lower East Side, so on,
107
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and a checkmark means
they've called twice.
108
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Why don't you organize
a gang bang,
109
00:04:03,747 --> 00:04:05,214
get them all done at once?
110
00:04:05,249 --> 00:04:07,050
Shane, feel free to pretend
there are multiple rooms here.
111
00:04:08,318 --> 00:04:10,820
Tell me you have good news
about our weed supply.
112
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Jill has scheduled
a custody hearing.
113
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I need you to come
and be a character witness.
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For which side?
115
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I'm not asking you
to perjure yourself.
116
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Unless you want to.
117
00:04:22,835 --> 00:04:25,570
Think of it
as, um, modeling/acting.
118
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I quit modeling
to go into business with you.
119
00:04:28,441 --> 00:04:31,076
I just cashed in
my next set of loans.
120
00:04:31,111 --> 00:04:32,811
I can buy us plane tickets.
Wow.
121
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I'll buy the plane tickets.
I only need Silas.
122
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He's a retard.
123
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No, take the murderer.
I don't care.
124
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Shane, stay here.
Go to college.
125
00:04:41,955 --> 00:04:44,022
You're taking $15k
for plane tickets?
126
00:04:44,057 --> 00:04:46,125
It's last-minute fares.
I'll -- I'll book coach.
127
00:04:46,159 --> 00:04:48,194
The rest will be
our rainy-day fund. I promise.
128
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I'm charging a vig.
129
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And I would have been
a better character witness.
130
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I'm a great liar.
131
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You can testify next time.
132
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So I'm clear,
133
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you're asking me
to go on record
134
00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:05,942
about your motherly qualities?
135
00:05:05,976 --> 00:05:07,477
You want that?
136
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All right.
137
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Use the balls of your feet...
138
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And arch your back.
139
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Oh. All right.
140
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:28,998
Hey, are you sure
you don't mind?
141
00:05:29,032 --> 00:05:31,967
It's not like secondhand smoke
is gonna kill me.
142
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:34,370
Oh, yeah. Death humor.
143
00:05:34,404 --> 00:05:36,572
Got to be honest --
not making me laugh.
144
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[ Inhales sharply ]
145
00:05:37,975 --> 00:05:39,309
Guess that's your privilege,
though.
146
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:41,145
Who am I to say what's funny?
147
00:05:41,179 --> 00:05:42,713
Although people tell me that
I'm funny, but I'm not dying.
148
00:05:42,747 --> 00:05:43,714
Sorry.
149
00:05:43,748 --> 00:05:45,149
But you are dying.
150
00:05:45,184 --> 00:05:47,185
Slower than me, obviously,
151
00:05:47,219 --> 00:05:50,355
but trust me --
that could change tomorrow.
152
00:05:50,389 --> 00:05:52,023
Gather ye rosebuds.
153
00:05:52,057 --> 00:05:53,190
Gather ye balls.
154
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[ Grunts ]
155
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Don't just sit on them.
Show them to the world.
156
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Show them to the world?
I can do that.
157
00:05:58,196 --> 00:06:00,463
Maxeen's taken a liking to you.
158
00:06:00,498 --> 00:06:03,766
You're a vast improvement
over the last few guys.
159
00:06:03,801 --> 00:06:06,235
Awfully kind of you.
160
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:08,137
Wait -- "last few."
161
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"Few" like two or three?
162
00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:12,008
I'm sliding.
I'm sliding. Oh!
163
00:06:12,042 --> 00:06:13,609
Okay. I've slid.
164
00:06:13,644 --> 00:06:15,913
I'm taking a liking
to you guys, too.
165
00:06:15,947 --> 00:06:17,581
Maxeen mainly, but okay.
166
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The whole...two-for-one thing,
167
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it's...
168
00:06:21,286 --> 00:06:23,621
It's not so hard.
169
00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:28,960
[ Slurred ]
I need sug...
170
00:06:28,995 --> 00:06:32,296
If shu...
171
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You're sliding, too.
These chairs are no good, man.
172
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[ Sniffs ]
173
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Oh, fuck.
174
00:06:40,738 --> 00:06:42,072
It's happening.
175
00:06:42,106 --> 00:06:43,306
It's happening now.
176
00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,041
Okay.
177
00:06:45,075 --> 00:06:48,144
Phone people.
178
00:06:48,178 --> 00:06:49,278
Okay.
179
00:06:49,312 --> 00:06:51,847
Here's the wire.
Where's the phone?
180
00:06:54,084 --> 00:06:55,885
High-top phone.
181
00:06:55,919 --> 00:06:57,286
Look at that.
[ Dialing ]
182
00:06:57,321 --> 00:06:59,589
Charles, don't do it, man.
183
00:06:59,623 --> 00:07:03,059
Um, he's down.
Pancreas cancer.
184
00:07:03,094 --> 00:07:04,795
We're here, and he's down.
185
00:07:04,829 --> 00:07:06,630
What do I do?
186
00:07:06,665 --> 00:07:08,166
Oh, God, yeah -- CPR.
187
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,467
That's a great idea.
188
00:07:09,502 --> 00:07:11,169
I'll try that.
189
00:07:11,203 --> 00:07:13,505
I had to put the shoe down!
190
00:07:13,539 --> 00:07:14,606
I got this.
191
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,241
Uh...
192
00:07:16,275 --> 00:07:17,809
[ Inhales sharply ]
193
00:07:19,713 --> 00:07:21,646
[ Breathes loudly ]
194
00:07:21,681 --> 00:07:23,948
Holy shit. It worked.
He's breathing.
195
00:07:23,983 --> 00:07:25,283
I saved him.
196
00:07:25,318 --> 00:07:27,585
Still clammy!
Tell me you've sent somebody!
197
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:30,422
Not like this, Charles.
198
00:07:30,456 --> 00:07:32,523
Not like this.
199
00:07:38,297 --> 00:07:41,200
What are you gonna say
at the hearing?
200
00:07:41,234 --> 00:07:43,335
I'm not sure.
Figure I'll wing it.
201
00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:45,204
You know, no winging.
202
00:07:45,239 --> 00:07:47,507
I'm serious, okay?
203
00:07:47,541 --> 00:07:49,442
I'm trying to watch
"Everybody Loves Raymond."
204
00:07:49,476 --> 00:07:51,111
It's on Channel 1.
It's good.
205
00:07:51,145 --> 00:07:52,712
What if the judge
cross-examines you?
206
00:07:52,747 --> 00:07:55,349
See, Debra's [chuckles]
really pissed at Ray
207
00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:58,052
for taking Robert's side
in a fight with Amy.
208
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,021
Oh, now the dad's involved.
He's awesome.
209
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:01,856
Hey.
210
00:08:01,891 --> 00:08:03,825
I could lose Stevie.
211
00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:06,495
I have maybe one card to play,
212
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,230
and guess what --
that's you.
213
00:08:08,265 --> 00:08:10,132
So you could just
quit the coy bullshit
214
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:12,634
for just one second, please?
215
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:15,937
You're dragging me across
the country at a moment's notice
216
00:08:15,971 --> 00:08:17,838
to talk about you as a mother.
217
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,073
I...
218
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:24,545
I really, truly don't know
what I'm gonna say yet.
219
00:08:24,579 --> 00:08:28,281
I-I have suggestions.
220
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,152
There could be
inspiration here.
221
00:08:32,186 --> 00:08:34,820
Maybe I'll compare you to Ray.
222
00:08:34,855 --> 00:08:37,790
You mean well,
but you get into trouble.
223
00:08:37,824 --> 00:08:38,990
And then there's Marie.
224
00:08:39,025 --> 00:08:40,458
You know what?
225
00:08:40,492 --> 00:08:42,260
Be a spectator.
Forget it.
226
00:08:42,294 --> 00:08:43,594
I'll defend myself.
227
00:08:43,628 --> 00:08:45,729
[ Chuckling ]
That should go well.
228
00:08:48,466 --> 00:08:51,101
He apologizes.
She forgives him.
229
00:08:51,136 --> 00:08:52,569
The tall guy makes a dumb joke.
230
00:08:52,604 --> 00:08:54,638
Everyone's happy.
The end.
231
00:08:54,673 --> 00:08:58,643
Stop and enjoy the make-believe
every once in a while, Nance.
232
00:08:58,678 --> 00:09:01,847
I can't afford that.
[ Scoffs ]
233
00:09:01,882 --> 00:09:03,382
Hi, it's Nancy.
Leave your message.
234
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,884
[ Beep ]
235
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,253
Uh, I thought you were kidding
about the two days, Nancy.
236
00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:09,589
You know, I gave you a chance
when no one else would,
237
00:09:09,624 --> 00:09:11,191
and this is how you repay me.
238
00:09:11,225 --> 00:09:12,926
I don't know
where the lunch menus are.
239
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:15,262
My computer's frozen
on an image of Bradley Cooper.
240
00:09:15,296 --> 00:09:16,530
[ Sighs ]
241
00:09:16,564 --> 00:09:18,998
A little help, please, Nancy.
242
00:09:19,032 --> 00:09:21,166
Okay, if there's a gyro here
in the next half-hour,
243
00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:23,335
I'll think about forgiving you.
244
00:09:23,369 --> 00:09:25,137
Extra tzatziki.
245
00:09:38,017 --> 00:09:39,117
Doug Wilson.
246
00:09:39,152 --> 00:09:42,253
Yes, with extra tzatziki.
247
00:09:42,288 --> 00:09:46,491
Yeah, I-I promise he'll stop
calling you goat bangers.
248
00:09:46,526 --> 00:09:48,193
Okay. Thank you.
249
00:09:48,227 --> 00:09:49,394
Did you find them?
250
00:09:49,429 --> 00:09:50,796
They postponed the hearing.
251
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:52,765
Till after lunch?
252
00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:55,668
Lunch, plus two months.
253
00:09:55,702 --> 00:09:57,203
[ Sighs ]
254
00:09:57,237 --> 00:09:59,206
They know you'll have trouble
getting out here again.
255
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,141
They're making you
jump through hoops,
256
00:10:01,175 --> 00:10:03,778
making you mad
and potentially irrational.
257
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,980
Their lawyer's very good.
258
00:10:06,015 --> 00:10:07,482
So Stevie's not even here?
259
00:10:07,517 --> 00:10:09,184
I'm not even
gonna get to see him?
260
00:10:09,219 --> 00:10:10,886
No.
This is bullshit!
261
00:10:12,722 --> 00:10:14,956
Can they do this?
It is, and they can.
262
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,796
You're the fucking lawyer.
Do something.
263
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:23,632
Project, baby, project.
I can take it. Work it out.
264
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,801
Do you want to cry?
Do you want to break something?
265
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:28,537
Let it all out.
Just let it go.
266
00:10:28,572 --> 00:10:29,872
Oh, man.
267
00:10:29,907 --> 00:10:32,775
You do not want
to give her that opening.
268
00:10:36,981 --> 00:10:38,848
[ Car door slams ]
269
00:10:42,253 --> 00:10:43,953
[ Buzzer ]
270
00:10:45,623 --> 00:10:46,623
[ Sighs ]
271
00:10:46,657 --> 00:10:47,691
Jill!
272
00:10:47,725 --> 00:10:50,060
Get your ass out here!
273
00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:55,031
[ Buzzer ]
274
00:10:55,065 --> 00:10:56,967
Do you think she could've maybe
just gone out for some fresh air?
275
00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:58,202
[ Scoffs ]
276
00:10:58,236 --> 00:11:00,603
I'll call a cab.
We got to go get her.
277
00:11:02,373 --> 00:11:04,140
Son of a bitch.
278
00:11:04,175 --> 00:11:05,675
That's the judge
who fucked us --
279
00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:07,643
Franklin, Judge Franklin.
280
00:11:07,678 --> 00:11:09,145
They certainly did some work
on his portrait.
281
00:11:09,179 --> 00:11:09,846
I'll tell you that.
282
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,080
Judge Franklin --
283
00:11:11,114 --> 00:11:13,048
No! No, no, no!
Are you nuts?
284
00:11:13,082 --> 00:11:16,017
You never make eye contact
with a judge on his lunch break.
285
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,653
Smile. Apologize.
You thought he was someone else.
286
00:11:18,687 --> 00:11:19,887
No!
287
00:11:19,922 --> 00:11:21,822
Hi, uh, Your Honor.
288
00:11:21,857 --> 00:11:23,524
Sorry to bother you.
289
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,192
I had a question
about the Nancy Botwin case --
290
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,193
Or h-hearing.
291
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,461
Botwin...
292
00:11:27,495 --> 00:11:29,196
Oh, wait.
I thought we postponed that.
293
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,565
Yes, you did.
294
00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:32,733
That's the problem.
295
00:11:32,767 --> 00:11:33,767
[ Buzzer ]
296
00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:35,736
Is this an inconvenient time?!
297
00:11:35,770 --> 00:11:39,006
Should I fly back another day?!
298
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,007
Jill!
299
00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:43,009
Nancy.
300
00:11:43,044 --> 00:11:44,611
I want to see my son.
301
00:11:44,645 --> 00:11:47,080
Damn. Jill just took him
to the playground.
302
00:11:47,114 --> 00:11:49,349
Oh, bullshit!
I saw her van!
303
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:51,251
Didn't we reschedule
the hearing?
304
00:11:51,285 --> 00:11:52,685
Yeah.
I guess you did.
305
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,554
I never got the memo,
so here I am.
306
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:55,955
I'm ready to see my son.
307
00:11:55,989 --> 00:11:57,623
I wish I could help you.
I really do.
308
00:11:57,658 --> 00:11:59,859
[ Sighs ]
309
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,527
You know she slept with Andy?
310
00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:03,462
Jill: Blah, blah, blah.
He already knows.
311
00:12:03,496 --> 00:12:05,130
Move on,
like the rest of us, Nancy.
312
00:12:05,164 --> 00:12:06,698
Jill, really?
313
00:12:06,733 --> 00:12:08,600
You don't have a fence
high enough!
314
00:12:08,634 --> 00:12:12,437
Oh, I forgot -- you're an expert
with iron bars now.
315
00:12:12,471 --> 00:12:14,372
Well, we do have
neighborhood security.
316
00:12:14,407 --> 00:12:15,874
It should be here any second.
317
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,476
[ Sighs ]
Let me in, Scott.
318
00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:19,011
Don't touch the gate, Scott.
319
00:12:22,816 --> 00:12:24,350
What'd she do to win you back?
320
00:12:24,384 --> 00:12:28,054
She give you
a clay mold of her vag?
321
00:12:28,089 --> 00:12:31,224
It's probably warmer
than the real thing.
322
00:12:31,259 --> 00:12:33,694
Hey, you want to go
fuck the gardener over there?
323
00:12:33,728 --> 00:12:35,329
Looks like your type.
324
00:12:35,364 --> 00:12:38,133
She kidnapped my child!
325
00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:41,270
Crazy woman at my door!
326
00:12:41,304 --> 00:12:43,105
[ Buzzer ]
327
00:12:43,140 --> 00:12:46,075
Oh, no, the buzzer.
I'm melting!
328
00:12:46,109 --> 00:12:47,610
Keep trying, Jill.
329
00:12:47,644 --> 00:12:50,813
Whenever, wherever,
hearing, no hearing,
330
00:12:50,848 --> 00:12:52,248
I'm his mother!
331
00:12:52,283 --> 00:12:54,817
Stevie, can you hear me?
332
00:12:54,851 --> 00:12:57,820
You remember this voice...
but quieter?
333
00:12:57,854 --> 00:12:59,021
Ma'am.
334
00:12:59,055 --> 00:13:00,923
Thanks for coming, Carl.
335
00:13:00,957 --> 00:13:02,958
I'm gonna need you
to lower your voice, ma'am.
336
00:13:02,993 --> 00:13:05,193
Stevie!
337
00:13:05,228 --> 00:13:06,461
Uh, please don't do that.
338
00:13:06,496 --> 00:13:07,596
Nancy, come on!
339
00:13:08,731 --> 00:13:10,198
What's she doing?
340
00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:12,267
Don't let her over!
I'm calling the real cops.
341
00:13:12,301 --> 00:13:13,935
I can handle this, Mrs. Gray.
Down!
342
00:13:15,204 --> 00:13:17,005
Now!
343
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,774
No! Uh...
344
00:13:18,808 --> 00:13:20,009
Push her toward me!
345
00:13:20,043 --> 00:13:21,443
I can't push her face, Carl!
346
00:13:21,478 --> 00:13:23,646
Uh, uh, ma'am, ma'am...
347
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,647
I'm going to have to
touch your ass, ma'am.
348
00:13:25,682 --> 00:13:26,515
Push her!
349
00:13:26,549 --> 00:13:28,317
No pushing, no grabbing!
350
00:13:29,352 --> 00:13:31,487
I'm coming down!
351
00:13:34,591 --> 00:13:36,859
What? Unnecessary!
352
00:13:36,893 --> 00:13:38,026
I'm leaving!
353
00:13:38,061 --> 00:13:39,728
Yes, you are.
354
00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:41,230
You'll regret this.
355
00:13:41,264 --> 00:13:46,235
My lawyer took down
breast-implant people.
356
00:13:46,269 --> 00:13:48,871
He's gonna take you down --
all of you!
357
00:13:48,905 --> 00:13:52,408
Great to see you, Nancy.
Safe flight!
358
00:13:52,442 --> 00:13:54,277
[ Sighs ] So...
359
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:55,711
Nancy Botwin is my mother.
360
00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:57,880
Yeah,
you've said that twice now.
361
00:13:57,915 --> 00:13:59,882
Look, I finish this sandwich,
362
00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:02,351
I'm back to the 12 hearings
I do have scheduled today.
363
00:14:02,386 --> 00:14:03,820
You ever mediate
364
00:14:03,854 --> 00:14:06,422
between a transgender couple
and grandparents?
365
00:14:06,457 --> 00:14:07,590
Brutal.
366
00:14:08,893 --> 00:14:10,026
Go.
367
00:14:10,061 --> 00:14:12,595
Uh, well, Nancy Botwin is...
368
00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:15,431
Uh, she means well.
369
00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:17,533
Sometimes it's bumpy,
but it's good.
370
00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:22,338
Okay.
371
00:14:22,372 --> 00:14:24,440
W-when I was 10,
372
00:14:24,474 --> 00:14:26,042
I had an asthma attack
on Halloween,
373
00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:27,810
so no candy for me.
374
00:14:27,845 --> 00:14:30,346
Brand-new Austin Powers costume
still in the plastic bag.
375
00:14:31,948 --> 00:14:33,649
But she put it on
376
00:14:33,683 --> 00:14:35,384
and walked the neighborhood
the whole night,
377
00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:37,219
just to get me candy.
378
00:14:37,253 --> 00:14:39,221
She fought with some kids.
379
00:14:39,256 --> 00:14:41,991
Well...
I mean, it wasn't...
380
00:14:44,895 --> 00:14:47,663
She looks out for us.
She...
381
00:14:47,697 --> 00:14:48,931
[ Sighs ]
382
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:51,367
Geez, I can't believe
I'm saying this.
383
00:14:51,401 --> 00:14:52,568
[ Smacks lips ]
384
00:14:52,602 --> 00:14:54,237
She loves us.
385
00:14:54,271 --> 00:14:58,241
And I'm pretty sure she loves
her youngest, Stevie, even more.
386
00:14:58,275 --> 00:15:00,343
And to not even
give her the chance...
387
00:15:02,179 --> 00:15:04,380
Look, she's not
mom of the year.
388
00:15:04,415 --> 00:15:06,149
Whatever you want to do,
389
00:15:06,184 --> 00:15:10,020
just at least
give her a fair fight.
390
00:15:10,055 --> 00:15:11,355
[ Sighs ]
391
00:15:11,389 --> 00:15:13,624
Not the most impassioned speech
I ever heard.
392
00:15:13,658 --> 00:15:16,761
Yeah. It's not exactly
what I had mapped out.
393
00:15:16,795 --> 00:15:18,762
You're a fast eater.
394
00:15:18,796 --> 00:15:22,366
Well, I'm still hungry.
Let me find her file.
395
00:15:27,005 --> 00:15:28,372
Whit: Yo!
396
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:30,341
Hey, Rocketman!
397
00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:32,275
Hey, whit, did you check
the earnings report?
398
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,978
Sure did.
Great fucking quarter.
399
00:15:35,012 --> 00:15:37,681
Great fucking quarter...
Probably.
400
00:15:37,715 --> 00:15:39,148
Probably?
401
00:15:39,183 --> 00:15:41,718
I don't want to be a dick,
and I know I say that a lot,
402
00:15:41,752 --> 00:15:43,754
but this guy
you had in here before
403
00:15:43,788 --> 00:15:46,156
must have been
a colossal shit-for-brains.
404
00:15:47,591 --> 00:15:48,925
Go on.
405
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,727
Some of these dividends,
they were coming and going.
406
00:15:50,762 --> 00:15:52,396
I mean, what's this guy,
a meth addict?
407
00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:53,764
I mean,
it's sweeping the nation.
408
00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,198
Wait, wait.
[ Laughs nervously ]
409
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:57,167
You went through
the whole report?
410
00:15:57,202 --> 00:15:59,369
You know, most people
probably wouldn't even catch it.
411
00:15:59,404 --> 00:16:02,273
Thing is, I got
a diagnosed case of synesthesia.
412
00:16:02,307 --> 00:16:04,742
I see words and numbers
in colors,
413
00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:06,845
like the number 3 is orange.
414
00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:08,613
The word "Tuesday" is green.
415
00:16:08,648 --> 00:16:10,348
Uh, "vagina," purple.
416
00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:11,583
Fuck.
417
00:16:11,617 --> 00:16:13,284
Deep black,
unless you're talking the verb.
418
00:16:13,319 --> 00:16:15,186
Then it's more of a blood red.
419
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:18,456
Anyway, it helped me to
string together a few patterns.
420
00:16:18,491 --> 00:16:20,325
You got anything
this afternoon?
421
00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:21,593
Cancel it.
422
00:16:21,627 --> 00:16:23,294
There's somewhere
I want to take you.
423
00:16:23,329 --> 00:16:25,196
Well, if it's Delmonico's,
I should pass.
424
00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:26,897
I'm still a little backed up
from yesterday.
425
00:16:26,931 --> 00:16:29,466
Hoping Greek's
gonna push it on through.
426
00:16:33,538 --> 00:16:34,838
Mr. Palmer?
427
00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:37,341
Dr. Palmer.
May I help you?
428
00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:39,042
I want to take your class.
429
00:16:39,076 --> 00:16:40,843
You are aware
we're three weeks into the term?
430
00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:42,145
I'll make it up.
431
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:43,547
If you're looking
for an easy "A,"
432
00:16:43,581 --> 00:16:44,681
you've come to the wrong place.
433
00:16:44,715 --> 00:16:47,250
I am meticulous.
I am exacting.
434
00:16:47,285 --> 00:16:49,352
You completed the prereqs,
I assume?
435
00:16:49,387 --> 00:16:50,487
Killed them.
436
00:16:50,521 --> 00:16:52,088
You will have to buy my book.
437
00:16:52,122 --> 00:16:54,324
Can I purchase it
directly from you?
438
00:16:54,358 --> 00:16:57,660
I think we might find
a spot for you, Mr...
439
00:16:57,694 --> 00:16:59,762
Botwin -- Shane.
440
00:16:59,797 --> 00:17:03,365
Mr. Shane Botwin, welcome
to Applied Criminal Justice.
441
00:17:05,202 --> 00:17:07,770
That's the problem
with these plug-ins.
442
00:17:07,804 --> 00:17:10,372
If you'd uncuff me,
I'll help you push.
443
00:17:10,406 --> 00:17:13,442
Got to start checking the power
on this thing, Carl.
444
00:17:13,477 --> 00:17:16,378
Goddamn night guy thinks it's more
important he charges his iPad.
445
00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:18,147
Brought your bag.
446
00:17:20,116 --> 00:17:22,918
I didn't know
whether to drop it in first
447
00:17:22,953 --> 00:17:25,254
or, um, leave it behind.
448
00:17:25,289 --> 00:17:26,856
I was being optimistic.
449
00:17:26,891 --> 00:17:29,092
Not a bad try,
the whole Catwoman approach.
450
00:17:29,127 --> 00:17:31,862
Maybe next time, you could
parachute in or dig a tunnel.
451
00:17:31,896 --> 00:17:34,197
I don't like to get dirt
under my nails.
452
00:17:34,231 --> 00:17:36,432
Look, if you go
into that house right now,
453
00:17:36,466 --> 00:17:39,469
all hell is gonna break loose,
and Stevie would see that.
454
00:17:39,503 --> 00:17:41,304
Do I have a choice?
455
00:17:41,338 --> 00:17:43,773
I'll make sure
you get to video-chat with him.
456
00:17:43,807 --> 00:17:47,275
[ Voice breaking ] I-I want him
told I'm his mother.
457
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:50,978
What you say on that call --
look, it's your call.
458
00:17:51,013 --> 00:17:54,281
Please, cancel
the custody hearing, Scott.
459
00:17:54,316 --> 00:17:55,449
Please.
460
00:17:55,484 --> 00:17:56,951
That is out of my control.
461
00:17:56,985 --> 00:17:59,553
Jill:
Scott, what's she saying?
462
00:17:59,588 --> 00:18:02,924
She called you a cunt!
463
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,325
Sorry.
464
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,461
Fair enough.
465
00:18:06,495 --> 00:18:09,597
By the way, we, uh...
466
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,599
We never had this conversation.
467
00:18:13,702 --> 00:18:15,970
Listen, when Jill and I
were split up,
468
00:18:16,005 --> 00:18:19,140
I didn't get to see
Shayla and Taylor all that much.
469
00:18:19,174 --> 00:18:20,508
It sucks. I get it.
470
00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:23,677
So you'll back me
on the custody?
471
00:18:23,712 --> 00:18:24,945
[ Chuckles nervously ]
472
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,246
I said I get it.
473
00:18:26,281 --> 00:18:28,515
I also said
I like seeing my girls.
474
00:18:28,549 --> 00:18:30,584
Sorry.
475
00:18:32,253 --> 00:18:33,853
About what I expected.
476
00:18:33,888 --> 00:18:34,955
Maybe better.
477
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,624
Shane?
Silas.
478
00:18:37,726 --> 00:18:39,026
Dick move today, Uncle Scott.
479
00:18:39,061 --> 00:18:40,628
He's atoning.
480
00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:42,931
Okay. Another 40 minutes,
and we're good to go.
481
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:44,399
Uncuff her, Carl.
482
00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:46,335
These guys will make sure
she leaves, right?
483
00:18:46,369 --> 00:18:49,104
I'm gonna gag her and stuff her
into my trunk right now.
484
00:18:49,139 --> 00:18:51,607
[ Laughs ]
485
00:18:51,641 --> 00:18:53,475
No? Okay.
486
00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:55,010
Thank you, Scott.
487
00:18:55,045 --> 00:18:56,812
What'd you do?
488
00:18:56,846 --> 00:18:58,780
I can't decide whether I want a
good story or a good client.
489
00:18:58,815 --> 00:18:59,814
Go on. Tell me.
490
00:18:59,849 --> 00:19:01,950
All a big mix-up.
491
00:19:01,984 --> 00:19:03,685
Let's go.
492
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,719
Judge wants to see you.
493
00:19:10,158 --> 00:19:11,559
It's satisfying.
494
00:19:11,593 --> 00:19:13,661
Doing my job, doing it well --
feels good.
495
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,797
That, my friend,
is the oiled hand on your cock.
496
00:19:15,831 --> 00:19:17,799
Could be.
497
00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:19,500
Hey...
498
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:22,236
As far as what you found,
it's not a problem.
499
00:19:22,271 --> 00:19:24,372
You haven't even
looked at it yet.
500
00:19:24,406 --> 00:19:25,740
Relax, please.
501
00:19:25,774 --> 00:19:27,675
There are two ways to go
in our biz.
502
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,078
The first is you follow
every bullshit subsection
503
00:19:30,112 --> 00:19:31,713
in the S.E.C. rule book,
504
00:19:31,747 --> 00:19:33,882
nobody makes a profit,
and the economy collapses.
505
00:19:33,916 --> 00:19:35,417
Fascists.
Yeah.
506
00:19:35,451 --> 00:19:38,020
The second way,
you use your common sense,
507
00:19:38,054 --> 00:19:39,655
you do what you got to do --
508
00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:41,223
make the investors happy,
509
00:19:41,258 --> 00:19:43,359
keep the free-market economy
running.
510
00:19:43,393 --> 00:19:45,327
So we're cooking the books?
511
00:19:45,362 --> 00:19:46,429
Christ, Doug.
512
00:19:46,463 --> 00:19:48,030
I-I wish you had told me.
513
00:19:48,064 --> 00:19:49,932
I busted my ass
working on those reports.
514
00:19:49,966 --> 00:19:52,100
Remember, relax.
515
00:19:52,135 --> 00:19:55,270
You're acting like
a small-town CPA
516
00:19:55,304 --> 00:19:57,605
touring Wall Street
for the first time.
517
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,808
Okay, now you're too relaxed.
518
00:19:59,842 --> 00:20:01,476
Carrie: Whit, could you please put
your fucking business on hold
519
00:20:01,510 --> 00:20:02,644
for 10 minutes -- just once?
520
00:20:02,678 --> 00:20:04,879
No, I can't, Carrie.
This is serious shit.
521
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,414
Fuck it. I got my 5:00.
522
00:20:06,448 --> 00:20:07,949
Jen's gonna have to
finish you both.
523
00:20:07,983 --> 00:20:09,884
Hey, hey, are you working
this weekend?
524
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,719
My girlfriend wants to come with
for a couples.
525
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,555
Make an appointment.
526
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:15,289
And tell her I'm not putting any
pantyhose in my mouth this time.
527
00:20:15,324 --> 00:20:16,724
[ Sighs ]
528
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,726
[ Clears throat ]
529
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,628
You know, Whit,
I'm just trying to cover my ass.
530
00:20:20,662 --> 00:20:21,729
Me too.
531
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:23,765
It's all good.
Asses are covered.
532
00:20:23,799 --> 00:20:25,767
Dicks are out,
but asses are covered.
533
00:20:25,801 --> 00:20:27,836
[ Laughs ]
You got that right, brother.
534
00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:29,771
Oh. Hmm.
535
00:20:29,806 --> 00:20:32,307
Oh, by the way, we're playing
Goldman on Saturday.
536
00:20:32,342 --> 00:20:34,376
Hey, Jen, you know what we call this guy?
Oh.
537
00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:35,744
Rocketman.
538
00:20:35,779 --> 00:20:38,580
[ Chuckles ]
Does Rocketman ever take off?
539
00:20:38,615 --> 00:20:40,916
Oh, that feels good.
540
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:42,184
Little faster.
541
00:20:42,218 --> 00:20:43,652
Okay.
542
00:20:43,686 --> 00:20:47,222
Maxeen: "I then smiled gaily
to find the deed so far done.
543
00:20:47,257 --> 00:20:48,690
"But, for many minutes,
544
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,425
the heart beat on
with a muffled sound."
545
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:51,994
What the hell
are you reading him?
546
00:20:52,028 --> 00:20:53,662
"Tell-tale Heart."
547
00:20:53,696 --> 00:20:55,364
Poe?
548
00:20:55,399 --> 00:20:58,668
Like "Everything is dark and dreary and
dead or dying" Poe?
549
00:20:58,703 --> 00:21:00,404
Right now? I just saved him.
550
00:21:00,438 --> 00:21:01,872
It's his favorite.
551
00:21:03,342 --> 00:21:06,945
This is, uh...
552
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:09,047
I'm gonna go get ice cream
for when he wakes up.
553
00:21:09,082 --> 00:21:11,750
Carvel? Maybe they can do
Fudgie the raven.
554
00:21:11,785 --> 00:21:13,918
He's not contagious, Andy.
555
00:21:13,953 --> 00:21:15,186
[ Sighs ]
556
00:21:15,221 --> 00:21:17,155
You didn't see his skin.
It was so waxy.
557
00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:19,925
It's just
a little hypoglycemia.
558
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,327
It happens sometimes.
559
00:21:21,361 --> 00:21:22,862
[ Sighs ]
560
00:21:25,665 --> 00:21:27,766
Are his lips
usually that salty?
561
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,768
I have no frame of reference,
562
00:21:29,802 --> 00:21:31,836
but they tasted
closer to dead fish
563
00:21:31,871 --> 00:21:33,705
than they probably should have.
564
00:21:33,739 --> 00:21:35,774
You're just mad
that you made out with him
565
00:21:35,808 --> 00:21:37,309
when you didn't have to.
566
00:21:37,344 --> 00:21:39,211
I was in the moment.
I acted courageously.
567
00:21:39,245 --> 00:21:43,015
Not exactly sweet kisses
I jumped into.
568
00:21:43,049 --> 00:21:44,483
No offense, Charles.
569
00:21:44,517 --> 00:21:46,118
Poor thing. Do you want
to come lay down, too?
570
00:21:46,152 --> 00:21:47,919
I think you're underestimating
571
00:21:47,954 --> 00:21:49,655
the weight of my experience
this afternoon.
572
00:21:49,689 --> 00:21:51,857
I was joking.
573
00:21:51,891 --> 00:21:53,726
Okay.
574
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,029
Imagine...
We're in bed one night,
575
00:21:57,064 --> 00:21:59,265
enjoying ourselves,
what we've become.
576
00:21:59,299 --> 00:22:01,133
It's probably something good.
577
00:22:02,435 --> 00:22:04,470
And he...
578
00:22:04,504 --> 00:22:06,771
You know? Right next to us.
579
00:22:06,806 --> 00:22:08,273
Imagine we're...
580
00:22:08,307 --> 00:22:09,974
Right?
581
00:22:10,009 --> 00:22:12,844
That's a heavy weight
on the shoulders.
582
00:22:12,879 --> 00:22:14,880
When that time comes,
583
00:22:14,914 --> 00:22:17,049
he'll probably be
in his own bed,
584
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:19,351
tubes everywhere
and machines going.
585
00:22:21,989 --> 00:22:22,989
Bubbie.
586
00:22:23,024 --> 00:22:24,824
What?
587
00:22:24,859 --> 00:22:26,026
It's Bubbie.
588
00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:27,094
I...
589
00:22:30,632 --> 00:22:33,367
I can't be polyamorous
with Bubbie.
590
00:22:33,401 --> 00:22:37,738
I don't get
the exact reference, but...
591
00:22:37,772 --> 00:22:39,506
I think I understand.
592
00:22:39,541 --> 00:22:41,942
And I can't blame you.
593
00:22:41,976 --> 00:22:43,577
[ Sighs ]
594
00:22:43,611 --> 00:22:45,545
If the shoe
was on the other foot...
595
00:22:45,580 --> 00:22:46,913
I don't know.
596
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:49,283
It's not you.
It's not me, either.
597
00:22:49,317 --> 00:22:50,884
I didn't flee. I passed.
598
00:22:50,918 --> 00:22:52,352
And he's alive, yes.
599
00:22:52,386 --> 00:22:54,354
I'm not trying
to pin this all on Charles.
600
00:22:54,388 --> 00:22:55,722
Not his fault.
601
00:22:55,756 --> 00:22:57,390
[ Inhales sharply ]
602
00:22:57,425 --> 00:22:59,793
But the downside --
this is heavy shit.
603
00:22:59,827 --> 00:23:01,161
[ Groans ]
604
00:23:01,196 --> 00:23:05,699
I know it can't all be
popsicles and pet shops.
605
00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:08,536
But I really hate Poe --
and death.
606
00:23:08,570 --> 00:23:09,770
Life is my thing.
607
00:23:09,804 --> 00:23:12,807
Really, it's okay.
608
00:23:12,841 --> 00:23:14,642
You can stop talking now.
609
00:23:15,744 --> 00:23:16,745
[ Sighs ]
610
00:23:21,251 --> 00:23:23,620
Your Honor, i-if I may
say something first --
611
00:23:23,654 --> 00:23:25,489
Okay, Ms. Botwin,
here's how I see it.
612
00:23:25,523 --> 00:23:27,591
Children with their mothers
is a good thing.
613
00:23:27,626 --> 00:23:30,094
If at all possible,
that's the way I rule.
614
00:23:30,129 --> 00:23:32,397
Unfortunately,
in your situation,
615
00:23:32,431 --> 00:23:34,331
that's not possible --
616
00:23:34,366 --> 00:23:35,566
right now.
617
00:23:35,601 --> 00:23:37,168
At the same time,
618
00:23:37,202 --> 00:23:39,403
it'd be unfair to grant custody
to Mrs. Gray --
619
00:23:39,438 --> 00:23:40,571
right now.
620
00:23:40,606 --> 00:23:42,773
Too much is up in the air.
621
00:23:42,808 --> 00:23:45,809
So, finish out your sentence,
and at that time,
622
00:23:45,844 --> 00:23:48,112
I'll see what is
and is not possible.
623
00:23:48,147 --> 00:23:49,213
[ Sighs ]
624
00:23:49,247 --> 00:23:50,614
Thank you.
625
00:23:50,649 --> 00:23:52,484
Your halfway house
has probably already told you
626
00:23:52,518 --> 00:23:53,852
all the things
you need to do --
627
00:23:53,886 --> 00:23:55,720
get money, stable job,
et cetera.
628
00:23:55,755 --> 00:23:56,988
Those are true.
629
00:23:57,023 --> 00:23:58,823
But here's
some additional advice.
630
00:23:58,858 --> 00:24:03,461
Do not concoct some grand plan
to change yourself.
631
00:24:03,496 --> 00:24:05,330
It never works.
632
00:24:05,364 --> 00:24:07,198
Don't reinvent the wheel.
633
00:24:07,233 --> 00:24:08,867
From what I see from your son,
634
00:24:08,901 --> 00:24:10,568
the wheel was spinning
just fine once.
635
00:24:10,603 --> 00:24:13,971
Go back to that model,
that Nancy Botwin.
636
00:24:14,006 --> 00:24:15,907
You got caught up
with the wrong people.
637
00:24:15,941 --> 00:24:17,609
Move on from that crowd.
638
00:24:17,643 --> 00:24:20,245
Return to the ones
who helped you succeed
639
00:24:20,279 --> 00:24:22,714
on both a personal
and maternal level --
640
00:24:22,749 --> 00:24:24,950
your friends, your family.
641
00:24:24,984 --> 00:24:27,118
You're probably never gonna
grace the cover
642
00:24:27,153 --> 00:24:28,720
of Parenting magazine.
643
00:24:28,755 --> 00:24:31,590
I'm not looking for that.
Keep it simple.
644
00:24:31,624 --> 00:24:34,160
Be the Nancy who raised Silas.
645
00:24:34,194 --> 00:24:37,197
You do that,
we'll see what's possible.
646
00:24:37,231 --> 00:24:40,667
Silas: Maybe
we should've called first.
647
00:24:40,701 --> 00:24:43,236
Nancy: They grow weed.
We have money. It'll be fine.
648
00:24:43,270 --> 00:24:45,205
I hope you're right.
649
00:24:47,975 --> 00:24:49,710
Come on. Go ahead.
650
00:24:49,744 --> 00:24:51,311
Go ahead. Knock.
651
00:24:51,346 --> 00:24:54,181
Uh, I'm pretty sure you still
owe me one for yesterday.
652
00:24:54,215 --> 00:24:55,382
You knock.
653
00:24:55,416 --> 00:24:57,685
Go on. Knock.
654
00:24:57,719 --> 00:24:59,086
[ Door opens ]
655
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,988
Hell...
656
00:25:01,022 --> 00:25:02,822
[ Rifle cocks ] ...no.
657
00:25:02,857 --> 00:25:07,226
♪ It's been a long time
since the last time we met ♪
658
00:25:07,260 --> 00:25:12,064
♪ it sure has been a while,
but we both understand ♪
659
00:25:12,098 --> 00:25:15,568
♪ that one's friends
stay friends till the end ♪
660
00:25:15,602 --> 00:25:17,903
♪ it's not how many times ♪
661
00:25:17,938 --> 00:25:21,474
♪ you may see me walk
the streets with my friend ♪
662
00:25:21,509 --> 00:25:23,810
♪ Hello, my friend ♪
663
00:25:23,845 --> 00:25:25,879
♪ Where have you been? ♪
664
00:25:25,914 --> 00:25:28,082
♪ Hello, my friend ♪
665
00:25:28,116 --> 00:25:30,718
♪ long time no see ♪
666
00:25:30,753 --> 00:25:34,289
♪ that one's friends
stay friends till the end ♪
667
00:25:34,323 --> 00:25:36,624
♪ it's not how many times ♪
668
00:25:36,658 --> 00:25:39,961
♪ you may see me walk
the streets with my friend ♪