[instrumental music]
[rhythmic tapping]
[whip cracks]
Puss: Through the years, I have been known by many names.
[intense music]
Diablo Gato,
the Furry Lover,
Chupacabra,
Friskie Two-Times
and the Ginger Hitman. [chuckles]
But to most,
I am Puss In Boots, outlaw.
[fan squeaking]
[snoring]
[chain clanks]
[snoring]
[fan squeaking]
[snoring]
[intense music]
Puss: I will never forget you, Margherita.
[meows]
I mean, Rosa. [chuckles]
Uh, sorry. I think maybe I should go.
[snoring]
Hm.
[snoring]
[floorboard creaks]
[grunting]
[pot shatters]
[grunting]
Oh! [grunts]
[laughs]
[yowls]
Oh! Ow! Ooh! [grunting]
You cannot run forever, Puss In Boots!
[panting]
[sighs]
Puss: What can I say? I was a bad kitty.
[instrumental music]
Just a fugitive from the law, forever running,
searching for a way to clear my name.
And I would get that chance...
on this one fateful night.
[howling]
[Latin music]
[crowd cheering]
[chicken clucking]
[crowd cheering]
[fireworks]
[indistinct chatter]
[dramatic music]
[indistinct chatter]
[fireworks]
[laughter]
Here, kitty, kitty! [laughs]
[laughter]
Raoul, look what the cat dragged in.
Oh, wait. That is the cat!
[laughter]
[sighs]
One leche, please.
What are you doing here, senor?
Did you lose your ball of yarn?
[laughter]
[chuckles] So funny.
One leche coming up.
[grunts]
[laughing]
[clangs]
[intense music]
[bottle clinking]
I am not looking for trouble.
[slurping]
I am but a humble gato in search of his next meal.
Perhaps you gentlemen can help me find a simple score.
The only thing you'll find tonight is trouble,
Puss In Boots.
[footsteps approaching]
Well, perhaps if one of us were to tell the law
that you are in town, we could split the reward.
[dramatic music]
[screaming]
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
You made the cat angry.
You do not want to make the cat angry.
[clears throat] The Church of St. Michael has just put up
a golden statue of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
I do not steal from churches.
Well, the boys' orphanage has been donated
silver candlesticks, they would look very lovely in your home.
I do not steal from orphans.
Uh, what about Jack and Jill?
- Shh! Are you crazy? - The what?
The murderous outlaws Jack and Jill
have gotten their hands on magic beans.
Do not joke with me about magic beans.
I searched half my life for them. They do not exist.
No, cat. We have seen them.
These... are the beans of legend.
Huh? Whoa.
Grows a vine to the Land of Giants
and the Golden Goose.
The Golden Goose.
A heist like this could set you up for life.
All nine of them. Show him the golden eggs.
No!
Please, sir, you have, uh, shown enough.
Only a cat with a death wish
would steal the beans from Jack and Jill.
The only wish I have is to repay an old debt.
And this is my chance.
Now... where do I find this Jack and Jill?
[squealing]
[instrumental music]
[carriage rattling]
[instrumental music]
Huh? Huh?
[gasps]
[dramatic music]
[whimpering]
I'm sorry, we have no rooms.
[gunshot]
[man groans]
Well, I think one just opened up.
[man whimpering]
We'd like a complimentary continental breakfast.
And don't even think about skimpin' on them baby muffins.
[clangs]
[door shuts]
[door locking]
We don't have any baby muffins. [sobbing]
[instrumental music]
You know, Jill, I've been thinking.
Jill: Ah, get it out. - I, um...
On-- once we're done with this magic bean business
and got ourselves all them beautiful golden eggs...
Mm-hmm, go on.
Well, that we cut down on some of the hijacking and murdering.
I mean, it's fun and all, but, uh...
[sighs] I want a baby.
[barking]
[distant cheering]
Jill: A-- a baby what, Jack? Jack: A baby us, Jill.
We'll raise it wild, like a squirrel or something.
Holy frijoles!
They do exist.
Ah, ever since you fell down that hill and broke your crown,
you have been talking crazy.
[glass squeaking]
Jack: It couldn't hurt to have an extra
shooter during ambushes.
Jill: Maybe I cut too deep. Cut that brain out of your head.
Hey! What gives?
Jack: If it's to be a girl, she'll have your strong...
No! No! No!
You, you, you, you stop where you are!
Jill: I don't know, Jack, how do I ride and shoot
with a baby slung on my back?
Jack: They got them backpacks now.
The way I see it, Jill...
Those beans are mine!
[indistinct chatter]
Kuk.
Me?
You snap me?
Kuk.
- You snap me? - Kuk!
[growling]
[snarling]
[gunshot]
[yowls]
You looking for something?
[laughing]
Uh, no. [chuckles]
No hablo Ingles.
Whoa, whoa!
[dramatic music]
You are going to pay for this!
[people screaming]
[Jack chuckles]
Ah! [growls]
[clamoring]
Huh?
[clamoring]
[music continues]
Ow!
Oh!
[music continues]
[gasps] Huh!
No!
[sighs] Oh! Oh!
[groaning]
[gasps] Chupacabra!
Chupacabra! Chupacabra!
- Chupacabra! - You are crazy woman!
[grunting]
- Ha! - Ah!
[giggles]
Ah.
Ha-ha!
Ow!
Hm.
[cats yowling]
[glass shatters]
[thuds]
[screaming]
[thuds]
♪ Te amo so ♪♪
Oh. Oh.
[meowing]
[purring]
[cat clears throat]
[instrumental music]
Those magic beans were my score!
You just cost me a chance at getting
the golden eggs, mi amigo.
Put up your dukes.
[rattling]
[cats meowing]
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
Ha! Ha!
Yah!
[cats cheering]
Psst!
Very well.
If it is to be a dance fight, then I will
Tuesday-Night-dance-fight you to the death!
[music continues]
Ha!
[cats cheering]
[clapping]
[instrumental music]
- Ah... - Oh.
How dare you do the Litter Box at me!
[cat laughing]
Hello!
[chuckles]
Toot-toot!
Ha!
Ha-ha! Hmph!
[music continues]
♪ Hey-aa ♪♪
[grunts]
Can you feel me?
[yowls]
[groans]
[music continues]
Ha-ha!
[all gasping]
Yah!
- Ooh-ah! - Huh! Huh!
[groans] Ah...
Wow!
[music continues]
[thuds]
[thunder rumbling]
[growling]
[yowling]
[grunts] Fear me if you dare.
[gasps] Huh.
[swords clanking]
[grunts]
[chuckles]
[instrumental music]
[sloshing]
[grunting]
[clangs]
[chuckles]
[groaning]
[crowd gasping]
You hit me in the head with a guitar?
[stammering] You are a woman?
Oh!
Whoa!
[scoffs] Amateur.
Wow!
[cats meowing]
Senorita, uh, wait!
Let me buy you some leche. I, I am a lover, not a fighter.
Hello?
You are hiding from me?
I like to play the games, too.
I sense in you a kindred spirit, a...
[sniffs] Hm.
I smell something familiar.
[sniffing]
Something dangerous.
Something breakfasty.
Humpty: It's been a long time, brother.
My little huevo.
Ha!
Humpty Alexander Dumpty.
How dare you show your face to me.
[sighs] I know you're angry.
You have every right.
But it is good to see you, Puss.
- Hm! - Are those new boots?
No! They are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me.
[stammers] B-- betrayed you?
You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge surrounded by soldiers!
They wrote a song about it!
And how did we get on that
bridge in the first place?
Because we were brothers, and brothers
are supposed to look after each other.
Humpty!
Remember why we're here.
I should have known.
I had the magic beans in my grasp,
and you sent this very attractive
devil woman to interfere.
You are a curse on my life!
Whoa, whoa, wait. Hear me out, okay?
Yes, yes, I sent Kitty to bring you here.
But she is no ordinary thief.
She's Kitty Softpaws. The softest touch in Spain.
That's a lot of heel for a guy, don't you think?
[clatters]
Look, with Kitty's skill, your sword and my brain,
we've got a fighting chance here.
Puss, come on, you of all people know
that nobody's ever ripped off the Giant's Castle
and lived to tell the tale.
You wanna survive? You need a plan.
And I've studied this job my whole life. You know that.
And le-- let's-- let's be honest.
Without me, you don't even know where to plant the beans, Puss.
But Jack and Jill do. They're on their way.
We go up the beanstalk outlaws
and we come down legends.
So what do you say?
Partners?
No. Never again.
I'm sorry, okay? How long are you gonna hold a grudge?
It's been seven years!
That's like 35 cat years.
You need me!
And I-- I need you, Puss.
Puss, you got any idea what they do to eggs
in San Ricardo Prison?
I'll tell you this, my friend. [sighs]
- It ain't over easy. - Oh!
Adios, Humpty Dumpty.
[singing in foreign language]
Oh, this is bad. This is bad!
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I know how to speak meow.
Sad story with your twisted lies in your greasy shell
that smells like old ham!
I should crack you open for...
[gasps]
[growling]
[grunting]
[Kitty chuckling] Look what I found.
Someone forgot his money.
[coins rattling]
Oh, you are dangerous.
[chuckles] Well, Humpty says you like danger.
Just think of all the trouble we can get into.
The two of us together.
We can steal a lot of golden eggs.
Hm?
[groans]
And you owe me.
- I owe you? - Mm-hmm.
You hit me in the head with a guitar.
I regret the guitar.
Okay, I forgive you.
So you're in?
[chuckling]
Well, there is one teeny, tiny, itty-bitty problem.
And what is that?
You work for the egg!
Oh, come on, Puss.
What happened between you and Humpty that was so bad?
[sighs]
I am afraid, with me and Humpty,
[sighs] the scars are too deep.
[instrumental music]
Yeah. [sighs]
It all started a long time ago.
Oh, no, no, no, you really don't have to tell me
your whole life story, please.
- You may want to sit. - Oh.
It is at times quite painful.
Okay, here we go.
It was a year in which the rain had not fallen.
Puss: The wind was big and the basket was small.
For days I bounced along,
a hungry little kitten with no milk,
no mama and no litter box
until I came to rest at a home for lost children.
[vocalization]
[meows]
Oh. [chuckles]
[clicks tongue]
Her name was Imelda,
and, like a mother, she took me into her heart
and raised me as her own.
[indistinct chanting]
Silencio. Silencio!
Puss: She was an angel of kindness.
Silencio!
Puss: Most of the time.
I'd like to introduce a new boy joining us.
It's okay, pequeno. You show with the face.
Go on.
[meows]
Puss: And, uh, that was the moment I met...
Humpty Alexander Dumpty.
Hey, Whiskers! You're sitting in Little Boy Blue's chair.
Oh, come on. Is this necessary?
Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?
Who asked you, Breakfast?
Remember what Imelda says, Boy Blue.
If you're going to blow your top,
you blow your horn instead, right?
- Let's spin him. - Ah!
Please don't spin me. Do not spin me!
Not again! No! I'm gonna yolk!
Puss: Even though he took my beans, the egg stood up for me,
and I decided then...
that I would always have his back.
[grunts]
Ah!
[snarls]
Ah! Wow!
That was very impressive. Thanks!
[horn blowing]
- Hey, egg-boy! - Ah.
[girl clucks]
There was something about this strange little egg
that, uh, intrigued me.
[instrumental music]
[whirring]
[water sloshing]
Ah! Oh, it's you.
I've been collecting for months now.
You never know when you're gonna get lucky.
You know what I mean?
Magic beans is what they are.
Hello?
You're gonna tell all the other kids that
I believe in magic now?
Is that what you're gonna do?
- No? What's your name? - Meow.
Well, you don't say much, do you?
Well, I think I'll call you Sparky.
Whiskers? Zoltar!
How about Puss?
Humpty's mind was full of imagination and invention.
What is that, 50 feet down there?
Here we go. Give me a...
[yelling] Puss!
Oh! [gasps]
Look at me, Puss! I'm flying! I'm flying!
Ha-ha! Ah! [groans]
Puss: He spoke of legends and adventures
beyond my wildest dreams.
Oh, when I find those magic beans,
they'll grow a vine straight up into the clouds,
where a terrible and a, and a fearsome giant
hoards his greatest treasure...
the Golden Goose.
Oh, the Golden Goose. Just one.
Just one of her golden eggs
could set me for life.
It's my destiny, Puss, I-- I can't really explain it,
but I just feel like I belong up there.
[sighing]
Oh, boy. This is awkward.
This is kind of a, a solo dream here.
I don't need any dead weight, you know, holding me down.
[purring]
What are you doing? Oh, man, that's good.
The-- the eye thing that you're doing, that is really splendid.
Okay, let me just think for a second, alright, okay.
Uh, this is crazy,
but I am considering a partnership.
[instrumental music]
I just need to know one thing.
Can you commit?
Si. I can commit.
Oh, you can talk! Could you help me up?
[grunting]
Okay.
Humpty: First rule of Bean Club.
You do not talk about Bean Club.
Second rule of Bean Club
is you don't talk about Bean Club.
- You ready? - Ready.
From this day forth it shall be known...
Never alone, always together.
Humpty and Puss...
Both: Brothers forever.
Puss: And from that moment on, we were united
on a great adventure to find the magic beans.
Help me up.
Egg me.
Humpty was the brains...
- Ah! Good gracious! - I--
- I never saw him. Humpty: That really hurt!
Puss: And I was the skill.
[clattering]
Well, we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans,
lima beans, but no magic beans.
Would you care for a jelly bean?
Oh, thank you.
Puss: Finding them meant everything to us.
Humpty: Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing.
That's me and you, Puss.
[instrumental music]
Me and you.
But we never did find them.
And as years passed, the quest for magic beans
seemed more and more like the dreams of a child.
Aw...
As teenagers, Humpty and I
looked for trouble,
and often found it.
Third time this month, Imelda. Next time is jail time.
They're just kids. [chuckles]
They are thieves.
[Imelda clears throat]
You are better than this.
I believe in you with all my heart.
Imelda: Please do not let me down.
I hate this place.
I cannot wait for us to get out of here.
Throw a rock. It'll make you feel better. [grunts]
[crowd gasping]
Oh, boy. We should go.
[bull grunting]
[intense music]
On instinct, I reacted.
Ha! [grunts]
[bull grunts]
Aah!
[groans]
[instrumental music]
[sighs]
He saved the Comandante's mother.
He saved the Comandante's mother!
[grunting]
You saved my mother.
Senor Puss, he is a hero!
[crowd cheering]
Today we see that courage and bravery
come in all sizes!
Puss: Little did I know that one moment
would change my whole life.
These are for you, my boy.
Wear them as a symbol of honor and justice.
I will make you proud, mama.
You already have, my Puss In Boots.
[music continues]
How strange it was to give a cat boots.
But, whoa, I looked good!
And as the light of my path grew brighter...
Ha! Ha!
Humpty's road grew ever darker.
[footsteps approaching]
[lock clicking]
Gracias, Comandante.
Be careful of the company you keep.
[spits]
I know! I know.
I never should've tried something without you.
You're not stealing lollipops anymore, Humpty.
- This is getting serious. - You're right!
We have to be smarter about this.
Here, look. We need to think bigger.
I've been casing the silversmith and it's perfect.
You and me, in and out, 50 seconds tops.
W-- w-- will you put that away? This is our home.
These people have done nothing to us.
Our home? Okay, yeah, I get it now.
You get some fancy boots and now you're too good for me?
That is not true.
We weren't born here. We're orphans!
And all we got is each other, you understand?
We are better than this.
- But we're partners. - We are brothers.
But I am not stealing anymore.
[instrumental music]
Puss: But Humpty would not give up so easily.
- Ah! Humpty: I'm in trouble, Puss!
It's Boy Blue and his gang. I owe them some money.
Uh, they're coming for me. Just get me over this wall.
We gotta go. Help me up the wall. Get me up the wall.
Hurry! Ah! Hurry!
[intense music]
[gasps]
[whistle blowing]
Okay, I've got everything. We did it. Come on, let's go!
How could you do this to me?
I did you a favor! We can finally get out of here!
This is the money of the people! This is all they have! [yowls]
[groans]
[indistinct chatter]
[gasps] You disgrace those boots!
Comandante, please, I can explain.
- Arrest them! - Hyah!
[horse neighs]
Humpty: Hurry up! Get to the bridge!
- You tricked me! - I had to!
You left me no choice!
[horse neighs]
[crashes]
[men grunting]
[intense music]
[gasps]
Mama.
Pequeno.
Oh! Watch out!
[horse neighs]
Ow!
Oh! Oof!
Humpty: Oh!
[coins clinking]
- Oh, no. Humpty: Puss, I can't...
I can't get up. Puss, help me get up. I can't get up!
Freeze!
Puss, save me!
Save yourself.
[gasps] Oh!
Man 1: We got you.
[music continues]
[splashes]
Puss: I lost everything I cared about that day.
My brother, my honor,
my home.
All I thought about was the disappointment
in my mama's eyes.
And I have been running ever since.
[instrumental music]
The egg betrayed me.
His lies cost me everything.
[snoring]
- Hey! - Huh. I'm awake.
You think I don't wanna fix the past?
I can't get down.
[sighs]
[grunts]
Oh.
Listen, a day, a day doesn't go by
when I don't think about what I lost.
I lost my best friend, my only friend.
And I get it now, I got greedy and desperate
and I let you down, I let myself down.
All I'm asking for, Puss, is a second chance.
Give me that second chance
and I'll help you pay back San Ricardo.
[sighs] Please, Puss.
Let me show you what our friendship meant to me.
[instrumental music]
[sighs]
- I will do it. - Oh, that's great.
I will do this for my mother and for San Ricardo.
Not for you.
We are not partners and we are not friends.
[sighs] Okay.
And I-- I promise this time, I will not let you down.
[laughs] Yes!
[laughs]
I think we got our Bean Club back.
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
[squealing]
Humpty's plan better work.
Listen, you just need to worry about your part.
Don't screw it up.
- What? - Again with the mask?
I don't need style advice from Mr. Dusty Boots.
Huh?
[intense music]
Hm.
Come on, Puss. Now!
[grunts]
Our biological clocks are tickin', darlin'.
You gotta start looking at the big picture.
- What's your problem? - Huh?
Listen. I put a lot of work into my body.
Jill: I look good, and I am not just gonna throw that away.
[instrumental music]
[grunts]
- [whispers] Hey, hey, hey. - What?
Jill: We're gonna start small. - Look.
Jill: Just, let's just pretend you have a baby.
Excellent. [chuckles]
Jill: I don't have time to be at home
with no diapers and baby socks.
You don't have to, Jill. I'll be the stay-at-home dad.
We got ten hungry piggies there in the back.
You can practice on them. Just pull over, feed 'em.
Jack: That little Hamhock's... - You've got to hurry up.
- Shh! Jack: He's a cute little bugger.
Why are you not using your claws?
Would you please just shut up? I'm on it!
- Just use your claws! - Be quiet.
- Your claws! - I don't have any claws!
Alright?
[snorting]
Was that Hamhock?
[Kitty gasps]
Shh. Shh. Shh.
[dramatic music]
There, there. Sleepy, sleepy, big fat piggy.
[squeals]
Jill: Remember when we had to pretend we had
that monkey one time?
- You babysit. - Huh...
- Soft paws. Jack: When did we have a monkey?
[indistinct chatter]
Well?
Hello, beans of legend.
Let's go.
[squealing]
[groans]
[thuds]
[dramatic music]
[clangs]
Well, well, well, look what we have here, Jill.
You messed with our baby.
[growling]
And you took my beans. [chuckles]
Sausage bomb!
[yowling]
Jack: Whoa!
[groaning]
Oh, you're gonna pay for this, soul-sucking cats!
[muffled groaning]
Signal the egg!
Yes!
[whip cracks]
[music continues]
- Okay. - Ready.
- Set. - Go!
Jill: Huh! - Ow!
[Jill laughs]
[groaning]
[grunts]
[squealing]
[grunts]
- Uh, uh... - Oh, my God!
[Jill snarls]
[grunting]
[gasps]
Whoa! [gasps]
[groans]
[grunting]
[sighs] Ah!
[Jill chuckles]
Alright, cat. Give me them beans.
Nah. [whimpers]
Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?
No! That is just a rumor spread by dogs! Ah!
Well, let's find out.
Hyah!
- Hyah! - Oh!
Hyah!
See, I told you I wouldn't let you down!
You think this is over? Ha!
[clanking]
[gasping]
[horse whinnies]
Hey, that was close!
[canon firing]
Hyah!
[thuds]
Now!
[Humpty screams]
We just got to make it to that bridge! Hang on!
- Humpty, there is no bridge! - Trust me.
[squealing]
[screaming]
Both: Humpty!
[screaming]
[both gasping]
- Ah! - We're going to die!
[horse whinnies]
[grunts]
[screaming]
[intense music]
[screaming]
- I hate cats. - This is war!
- Heh-heh. - Oh, oh!
[cheering]
[laughter]
Giant's Castle, here we come.
[Puss sighs] I must hand it to the egg.
This was a team effort. Humpty still has his claws.
I-- I mean, flaws. That was what I meant, not claws.
Uh, he's not a cat. [chuckles]
Uh, n-- not to say there's anything wrong--
I don't wanna talk about it.
Got it.
[mumbling]
Okay, we should be close!
Keep your eyes out for any strange cloud activity!
I am called Kitty Softpaws because I'll steal you blind
and you'll never even know I was there.
[coins clinking]
[gasps]
Hm...
Kitty? Hm.
You are not as good as they say.
You're better.
I will respect your privacy.
[horse neighs]
[Kitty sighs] Okay. I'll tell you.
I was just a stray, but I had beautiful claws.
One day a really nice couple took me in.
Gave me milk every morning, loved me.
Maybe I scratched their curtains
or played too rough with the hamster.
I don't know why they did it.
But they took my claws.
Cat people are crazy.
[chuckles]
Hey, stop! Stop the coach! I think this is it!
[instrumental music]
Ah! Ooh! Whoo!
[mumbling]
[panting]
Can you believe this, Puss?
After all these years!
Here. I want you to plant them.
[instrumental music]
That is a strange cloud.
[gasps]
Humpty: Whoa! Okay! This is it! It's happening, hurry.
This way! Good, good. Come on, come on, come on.
Twenty-three divided by cloud depth.
Hole! Right here.
Now place the beans.
[gasps] Place the beans carefully, please.
Not on top of each other. The magic is very delicate.
Okay, good. Very good. Now just stand back.
[dramatic music]
[intense music]
[gasps]
Ah...
[wind howling]
[grunting]
[music continues]
[grunts]
[explosion]
[groaning]
Whoa! Ah! [panting]
- Oh. - There...
- What's happening here? - Maybe...
Puss: The magic rubbed off in your pocket?
That's impossible.
Okay, okay. Let's not panic.
You know, I read somewhere that plants have feelings.
So, come on, say something nice to it.
Okay.
Let me just think for a second.
Hi, little plant. Oh!
[intense music]
[stalk creaking]
- Uh... - Whoa!
Oh!
[screaming]
[grunts] Huh!
[music continues]
Whoa! Ah. Oh.
Yow! Oh!
Oh! [chuckles]
[instrumental music]
[grunting]
[thunder rumbling]
[groans]
[music continues]
[sighs]
[music continues]
[vocalization]
[gasps]
[sighs]
Uh, guys? Ah. Ah!
Both: Humpty!
I do not see him. Do you see him?
[squeaky] I don't see him anywhere.
You sound weird.
Ah. It's the thin air!
Come on in! It feels great!
[cheering]
Oh. The cloud, it, it-- it tickles my nose.
Hoo-hoo! Oh, that's because they effervesce!
Who knew? Ho-ho!
[chuckles] Oh.
[chuckling]
Come on.
[laughing]
[growls]
[chuckles]
[gasps]
Gotcha!
Oh!
[laughing]
Meow.
[chuckles]
Hey, Puss.
What do you think? Do I shave?
[chuckles]
Let me show you something.
[instrumental music]
Humpty: Somewhere down there, there are two little kids,
I don't know, maybe orphans,
and they're laying on a hill, staring at the clouds,
dreaming about the future.
That was me and you, Puss.
Me and you.
- Hm. - Boys!
You might wanna take a look at this.
[instrumental music]
Humpty: The Giant's Castle.
[chuckling]
- Okay, time to suit up. - Humpty!
Humpty: I'll fit right in with the golden eggs.
Oh...
Brilliant or what, huh?
Humpty, you're not wearing underwear!
Uh... Oh. What? Are you embarrassed?
I'm not. [chuckles]
Puss, remember when everyone was laughing at Bean Club?
Puss: Oh. And who is laughing now? Ha-ha! We are!
[instrumental music]
Wow!
[thuds]
Humpty: That is our target.
Hey, you don't sound like an elf anymore.
It's because the air pressure in here is normal. Let's go.
[intense music]
So here is the plan, you two get the golden eggs.
- I will fight the giant. - There's no giant to fight.
The giant's been dead for years.
- What? - You didn't do the reading.
Did you? Oh, boy.
"Jack And The Beanstalk," chapter 14
"Giant Takes A Big Dirt Nap."
Ah! Ankle-burn.
[mama goose roars]
- Whoa! - Ah! Ah.
- Wh-- wh-- what was that? - They call it the Great Terror.
It's the monster that guards the Golden Goose.
Legend has it that if you look at it,
you'll turn to stone, but nobody really knows
because nobody's walked away from it alive!
[whispers] Follow me and keep quiet.
[suit squeaking]
[panting]
[suit squeaking]
- Shh! Humpty! - I can't, I can't help it.
Everything's rubbing and pinching!
I need powder. [panting]
[gasping]
[glass shattering]
[Great Terror roars]
- Ah! Uh... - Ah.
[gasping]
How are we gonna get across?
Champagne.
[grunts]
[instrumental music]
Cheers!
[pops]
[screaming]
[groaning]
[Great Terror roaring]
[gasps]
[Great Terror roaring]
Do not worry. I will protect you.
[rumbling]
What are you gonna do? Hit it in the head with a guitar?
Please. Stop bringing up the guitar.
[dramatic music]
[whimpering]
Ah. Ooh. Ah, ah, ah!
[whimpering]
Catch me!
[grunting]
[panting]
Hurry!
Hide!
Humpty: Don't look at it!
[growling]
[panting] Come on. Come on--
- Shh! Humpty, be quiet. - I'm hyperventilating!
Oh, I said I couldn't breathe
and then you zipped the thing over my mouth!
Shh! Hey, hey. You gotta get it together.
- Come on! - O-- okay.
[dramatic music]
[Humpty grunts]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[music continues]
Humpty: Look at this! It's egg paradise.
[gasps] It's so beautiful, I feel like I belong here.
[laughing]
Whoo!
[groans]
Golden eggs. Oh! Ooh...
Grab as many as you can.
[grunting] I...
I thought they were going to be like chicken size.
Can you imagine laying one of these? Ouch!
Puss! Ow!
[grunting]
How are we supposed to get these out of here?
- I don't know! - Shh!
[quacking]
Oh, my!
[goose quacking]
[chirps]
Puss: The Golden Goose.
Just look at her. Isn't she beautiful?
[chirps]
[quacking]
Humpty: Oh...
Oh!
Oh, yeah. My sweet darling.
[Humpty giggles]
I think she likes you.
[Great Terror roaring]
[chirps]
- Let's just take her. - Wait a minute.
This is the goose of legend, we don't know
what happens if we take her.
I know what happens if we don't take her. We got nothin'!
Guys, guys, it's a gold-pooper. We're taking it!
[chirping]
[intense music]
[Great Terror roaring]
Almost there!
[thuds]
[grunting]
Humpty: Hang on!
[screaming]
[bottle shatters]
[screaming]
- Whoa! - Hang on! Ah...
- Whoa! - Oh, yeah.
Wow. Whoa!
[groaning]
[Humpty screaming]
Whoa!
[groaning]
[Great Terror roaring]
[thumps]
Humpty: It's coming!
Run! Ah!
[water splashing]
[music continues]
[screaming]
[splashes]
[gasps]
Ah! [grunts]
[groans]
Kitty!
[grunting]
What are you doing?
[grunting] Ah! Uh!
[bubbling]
[vocalizing]
Oh! Oh.
[splashes]
[coughing]
[grunts] Ah.
[panting]
[gasps]
[music continues]
- Whoa. Hang on! - Whoa!
Ah. Ooh.
[grunts] Come here, you.
[grunts]
Got you!
She's mine now!
[screaming]
[Great Terror roaring]
[screaming]
[groaning]
Hello! ah.
Oh-ho.
Yike!
[screaming]
Oh, no! Fly, little gosling, fly!
[Humpty screaming]
Ah! No, no! It's not supposed to be this way!
[Humpty whimpering]
- Puss? - No.
Ah.
[Humpty sighs]
[whistles]
[laughs]
[grunts]
[Humpty screaming]
Uh, I'm sorry. [chuckles]
- Hm. Humpty: Ah!
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
Thanks, Ginger.
[goose chirping]
Um, we should maybe cut that down.
[boars squealing]
Jill: Look at that, you finally got that family you wanted.
- Jack. - Daddy.
- Did you hear that? - Daddy.
I think he just called me daddy.
Oh!
He looks just like you, Jack.
Thank you.
[grunts]
[squealing]
[wind howling]
Jill: Well, what is it?
[boar squeals]
[rumbling]
Huh?
[thuds]
[boars squealing]
I do believe that's our cue.
[boar squeals]
Jack: Hah!
Puss and Humpty: To paying back San Ricardo!
- To being rich! - Ole!
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
Ha! Ha!
[chuckles] You.
- Me? - Yeah, yeah, baby!
Ow!
One, two, cha-cha-cha!
Three, four, cha-cha-cha! One, two...
- What? - Heh-heh.
There is one word for you, Kitty Softpaws, me-wow!
I know you have quite a reputation with the ladies,
Mr. Friskie Two-Times.
I've also been known as the Furry Lover!
[groans]
But that was before I met you.
Oh. You don't know me, Puss.
I'm not who you think I am. I'm all about the score.
Come on, look me in the eyes and tell me
all you care about is the gold.
- Puss... - Kitty...
Oh, my God!
[hissing]
[laughing] New partners!
Do not fall for his animal magnetism.
You stay focused.
- Ah! - What?
[Kitty giggles]
[music continues]
Alright. [clears throat]
So I have been thinking, Ms. Softpaws,
that when we go our separate ways,
we can go our separate ways together.
[sighs]
Puss, you have to go, now.
You do not have to push me away anymore.
- You can trust me. - But--
Give it up for the legends of San Ricardo, Humpty and Puss!
We did it!
[laughing]
- I'm calling it a night, guys. - Kitty, stay up with us.
No, I feel a... [coughs] hairball coming on.
Okay, yeah. Have fun with that!
We should, uh, give her some privacy.
[chuckles] I never thought we would get to here.
After all we went through...
to pull this off together.
It is good to have my brother back.
Yup. Sure is.
[yawns] Well, we have a big day tomorrow.
[grunts] Pretty exciting stuff.
We should get some rest.
Goodnight, Humpty.
[chirping]
[cooing]
Canasta!
[squeals]
[thuds]
[snoring]
[instrumental music]
[crows cawing]
[groans]
[crows caws]
[crows cawing]
[screams] I am still alive!
[crows cawing]
[gasps]
Jack and Jill.
Kitty?
Puss: Humpty?
[intense music]
I will find you.
[crow caws]
Get out of here!
[crow caws]
[instrumental music]
[horse neighing]
[grunts]
[horse neighing]
[intense music]
[horse snorts]
[instrumental music]
[sighs]
[panting]
Huh? Huh?
[grunting]
Be gone!
Humpty: What do you, what do you want?
Gold? I, I have gold!
Jill: Uh, Jack, egg's trying to bribe us.
Jack: Ha-ha! With our own gold.
Jill: Come on now, all we want is a little breakfast.
Humpty: No, no, no, no, please! Jack: How d'you like your eggs?
Jack: Pumpkin? Humpty: Help!
Humpty! No!
[Humpty screams]
[laughing]
[sighs] Hello, Puss.
All: Surprise!
[laughing]
- What's going on? - It's a surprise party.
And the surprise is on you.
Looks like the cat's out of the bag.
- You were in cahoots? - Oh, yeah!
They all work for me.
[chuckling]
I spent a lot of time in prison preparing for this.
- You set me up. - Oh, yeah.
I set you up, of course.
You think this was all about getting the gold
and, and clearing your name? [scoffs]
This little adventure was about one thing.
Revenge.
You never knew it, Puss, but I was always there.
[echoing] There.
[intense music]
[crows cawing]
You wanted to repay an old debt, Puss?
- Well, so did I. - Why would you do this?
You left me on that bridge!
You abandoned me when I needed you the most.
What happened to brothers forever?
I trusted you!
Well, now you're finally gonna know
what it feels like, you know,
to trust someone and have them stab you in the back!
Guards!
Puss In Boots, you're under arrest
for the robbery of the San Ricardo Bank.
Consider this the final meeting of Bean Club.
I should scramble you with onions!
Ah!
You should never have come back.
Ha! [growls]
Pequeno! Wait.
Do not fight them, please.
Mama. Listen to me. I can explain.
No. Puss, no more running.
Please stop breaking my heart and face what you have done.
I'm sorry, mama.
I let you down.
[clanks]
Paws where we can see them!
Turn around, slow.
Slower!
[footsteps approaching]
Step into the carrier, quiet-like.
[door shuts]
Attention, attention, everyone, if you could just,
uh, come in a little closer.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you the Golden Goose of legend!
[crowd gasping]
[chirps]
[indistinct chatter]
Kitty. Not you, too?
[instrumental music]
[horse snorts]
Humpty: Ha-ha! Gold for everyone!
Boo! Boo! Boo! [laughs]
We got some fresh, hot gold here, people!
Step right up! Get it hot!
[crowd chanting] Huevos! Huevos! Huevos!
Huevos! Huevos! Huevos! Huevos!
Huevos! Huevos!
One hat,
one belt
and two boots,
once a symbol of honor.
One bottle of catnip?
Uh, it is for my glaucoma.
[Puss yowling]
[door slams]
This is where you belong, outlaw.
And this is where you will stay forever.
[sighs]
Andy: Whoo-hoo! - Ah!
No, no. Don't stop on my account.
Well, it looks like the egg got what he wanted.
You're talking about Humpty?
[babbles] Don't say his name!
I used to share this cell with that smelly thing.
Happiest day of my life was when he left,
till I realized he stole my magic beans.
Wait, wait, wait! You had the beans? Who are you?
[snores]
Hey! What's your name?
Ah! Andy Beanstalk!
My friends call me Jack.
I traded the family cow for them beans.
Of course, and it wasn't my family's cow.
It was some other family's family cow.
That's why I got eight to ten.
Always know which cow is yours.
[snores]
Crazy man. Wake up!
[gasps]
What else do you know?
We're all goners,
thanks to that little stinky!
I told him, I told him not to take the goose,
but all he wanted was his revenge!
Don't take the goose? Why?
[snores]
Oh...
[gasps] The-- the Great Terror!
That's the Golden Goose's mama.
Oh, no.
And she will be out for blood
when she comes back for her baby.
[gasps] Guard!
San Ricardo is in terrible danger!
- You must listen to me! - Quiet, you!
[door shuts]
[intense music]
[Great Terror roaring]
[Puss yowling]
[yowling]
[groans] Shut up.
[Puss yowling]
[groans]
Shh!
[growls]
[instrumental music]
[gasps]
Open the door.
Drop the weapon.
[clatters]
Very good.
Step aside.
No. [grunts]
Diablo Gato!
[screaming]
Nice try. [chuckles]
[muffled screaming]
Huh?
I hope you can forgive me.
Apology accepted!
I don't really have time for you.
I have to save the town from the Great Terror!
Wait, Puss! Don't you see?
I'm here because...
I am here because you made me realize
that there is something I care about more than gold.
Something?
Okay. Someone.
He's about two-feet tall, wears high heels.
Handsome?
He's very handsome.
- A real beefcake? - Mm-hmm.
- A stallion? - Yes.
- Tiger? - Oh, brother.
[chuckles] But this does not make us even.
- Freeze! - Yes, it does.
No, no, no, it doesn't.
[whimpers]
[yowling]
[screams]
- I saved you! - Oh!
You owed me one.
You didn't tell me about Humpty.
Ah!
So now you owe me two.
[thuds]
[indistinct chatter]
- You're a lot of work. - I know. But I am worth it!
Ha-ha! [grunts]
[panting]
You are not getting away, Puss In Boots!
Wrong boots.
- Kitty! - Now we're even!
[yowls] Oh.
[intense music]
This is your San Ricardo weather report.
Chances of a giant goose destroying the town,
one-hundred percent.
Puss: Never alone, always together.
Humpty: Humpty and Puss.
Humpty and Puss: Brothers forever.
[sighs]
[chirps]
Come on, sweetie.
Let's, uh, get out of here before mama shows up. Ah.
I should make you into an egg-salad sandwich!
Ah! That is disgusting!
Give me the goose, Humpty.
No, can do, I'm afraid.
See, the mama's on her way, and when she gets here,
it's bye-bye San Ricardo
and everything you ever cared about.
[scoffs] Revenge on me is one thing, but why Imelda?
Why the orphanage? This is our home.
You mean your home.
[sighs] I-- I never belonged here.
We had a plan to get out of here,
but then you became a hero
and you picked this place over me.
[sighs]
You left me with nothing.
Humpty, I'm sorry I hurt you.
But do not take it out on these people.
You are better than this!
No, I'm not.
Oh, come on! I know the real Humpty.
The way you saw the world, the inventor, the dreamer!
What happened to that guy?
[Great Terror roaring]
I, I think it's too late.
It is never too late to do the right thing.
Together we can save San Ricardo!
[Great Terror roaring]
I can forgive you, Humpty,
if you help me now.
Really?
After everything I put you through?
Prove to me there is still a good egg in you.
I'll try.
[Great Terror roaring]
[gasping]
[rumbling]
[gasps]
[bull bellows]
[hens clucking]
[squawks]
[squawking]
[gasping]
[squawks]
[indistinct chatter]
[chirping]
[squawks]
[chuckles]
[hisses]
[growls]
Run!
[clamoring]
[roaring]
- Goggles, check. - Get the baby over the bridge.
- I'll get the mother to follow. - Okay.
Give me a... [screaming]
[gasping]
[Great Terror roaring]
Ha-ha!
[roaring]
[toy squeaking]
Oh.
[gasps]
[squeaks]
[screams]
Mama Goose! Ha!
[instrumental music]
[Great Terror roaring]
Wait!
Just follow me and I will lead you to your baby.
[squawking]
[instrumental music]
[squawking]
No! Not that way! Ah.
[clamoring]
Pequeno, help!
Hang on!
[grunts]
Oh. Oh.
Whoa! [laughs]
That's my boy!
Ha! Oh.
[roaring]
Come with me, Mama Goose. I know where your baby is.
Here. [grunts] Look!
[whistles]
[horse neighs]
[chirps]
[squawking]
[squawks]
Ha-ha! [screaming]
Humpty, pick up the pace!
I'm trying, Puss! I'm trying!
[chirping]
Ha-ha!
Sorry, egghead, we want more than just eggs.
So how about you give us that goose?
Humpty.
[Kitty yowling] Ah!
Get her off!
Nice moves.
What would you do without me?
Ha!
Ooh, ooh!
- Ah! - Freeze!
Comandante! Uh, I can explain?
Gato, you are going back to jail
if it's the last thing I do!
Humpty, hurry!
Humpty: We're almost there. We're almost there! Oh.
[screaming]
[roaring]
[screaming]
[roaring]
[groaning]
[rumbling]
[roaring]
[screams]
[roaring]
[groaning]
[screaming] Help! Puss, help!
Humpty, hang on!
Puss!
[chirping]
[grunting]
[chuckles] Here we are again, right, Puss?
[grunting]
I will not leave you behind this time, Humpty.
[squawks]
[chirps]
Ah... I'm sorry, Puss.
I've made a mess out of everything.
- Ah. - I'm a rotten egg.
[grunting]
I'm not, not a person.
I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food.
I don't know what I am.
[grunts] You are what you have always been.
My brother. [grunting]
Brothers forever.
[grunting]
[Great Terror roaring]
Oh! Whoa!
Ah! Ah!
[grunting]
[Great Terror roaring]
[chirping]
- You can't save us both. - Yes, I can!
Just hang on! [grunting]
[Great Terror groaning]
Puss, you have to save the baby,
or the mama will destroy San Ricardo.
[grunting] It's the right thing to do.
[chirping]
I will not let you go, Humpty.
I know you won't.
So I won't make you choose.
Humpty!
[Great Terror roaring]
Ah. [grunts]
No.
[grunting]
Hm!
[chirps]
[squawking]
[chirping]
Oh. I'm-- I'm very sorry.
Sh-- she's okay.
[chirping]
[Great Terror purring]
[instrumental music]
[sighs] Humpty?
[sighs]
[squawks]
[chirps]
[sighs]
I always knew that you were good inside.
[chirping]
[squawking]
[coos]
[music continues]
Goodbye, Humpty.
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah, I think it's wonderful...
And I got a goose egg.
It's him. Puss In Boots.
He saved us from the giant goose!
His sword is like lightning!
They say he has ten lives.
His boots are made of the finest Corinthian leather.
He only drinks whole milk.
[instrumental music]
Good leche.
He's no outlaw. He saved us!
Puss: Ah, meow?
A gift for you, mama.
I have to go.
The soldiers are coming for me.
I am so proud of you, my son.
[purring]
Today you faced the past with bravery and honor.
You earned those boots.
And the people know that you are San Ricardo's greatest hero.
I did it for you, mama.
You will always be in my heart.
And you in mine.
[footsteps approaching]
Gato! Hm?
- There he is! - I see him!
[all cheering]
Huh?
[instrumental music]
[crowd cheering]
Puss: Toot-toot.
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
♪ La la-la-la-la la-la-la ♪
[chuckles]
♪ La la-la-la-la la-la-la ♪
♪ Ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah America Americano ♪
Puss: Ha! Ha!
♪ Ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah America ♪
♪ Americano ♪
♪ If you love me ♪
I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws.
[chuckles] Sooner than you think.
♪ On a Wednesday ♪
Ah! Hm.
[chuckles] She is a bad kitty.
♪ Language oh no ♪
♪ La-la la-la la-la-la ♪
Puss: This is the story of a cat who became a hero,
an outlaw dedicated to justice
and a lover of beautiful women,
a great, great lover.
Really. Heh-heh. It is crazy.
I am Puss In Boots!
And my name would become legend!
Ha-ha!
[instrumental music]
♪ Ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah America ♪
♪ Americano ♪
Ha! [laughs]
♪ Ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah America ♪
♪ Americano ♪
[meows]
♪ I will fight for I have fought for ♪
♪ How I love you ♪
Whoo-hoo!
♪ I have cried for ♪
Ha!
♪ I will die for ♪
Meow.
♪ I care ♪
♪ La-la la-la-la ♪
♪ In the mountains ♪
♪ Las campanas estan sonando ♪
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
♪ Don't you try to catch me ♪
♪ Don't you try to catch me no no no no ♪
♪ I'm living on the edge of ♪
♪ Living on the edge of the law law law law ♪
[growling]
♪ Don't you try to catch me don't you try to catch me ♪
♪ No no no no ♪
♪ Don't you don't you try to catch me ♪
♪ I'm living on the edge of the law law law law ♪♪
Oh!
[instrumental music]
♪ Ole ♪
[music continues]
♪ Ole ♪♪
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
[intense music]
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
[music continues]