1 00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:11,417 - Never know where the night will take you. 2 00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:15,208 It just makes me (bleep) feel normal. 3 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:17,792 People think I'm (bleep) up when I'm sober. 4 00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:20,667 My ex-boyfriend offered me a needle. 5 00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:23,708 I was drunk one night and it's, like: "Yeah, sure, I'll try it." 6 00:00:23,833 --> 00:00:26,000 And my life's (bleep) now. 7 00:00:26,042 --> 00:00:27,667 I've become a drug addict. 8 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,667 I call myself a healer that can't heal myself. 9 00:00:47,208 --> 00:00:48,833 - You feel like you're gonna die. 10 00:00:50,042 --> 00:00:53,167 - I just want her to get better and I don't want her to die on us. 11 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,500 - Once you start, you don't stop. 12 00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:58,292 - I would do anything for my daughter to save her life. 13 00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:02,125 I cannot go through life with a dead daughter. 14 00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,458 - It's like a sick joke. 15 00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:27,708 Not-funny-at-all joke, 16 00:01:27,792 --> 00:01:31,125 that the more that I look for stuff, the sicker that I start to get. 17 00:01:45,708 --> 00:01:48,042 - Tickle, tickle, tickle... (child laughing) 18 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:50,667 Oh, she wants to be tickled. (laughing) 19 00:01:51,292 --> 00:01:55,833 - I don't do drugs with her hee but I'm gonna cook some crack so I don't (bleep) kill myself. 20 00:01:55,917 --> 00:01:59,292 - When I look in my daughter's eyes, I see a lost soul, 21 00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:02,583 just doing things that she never used to do. 22 00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:04,292 Stealing, drugs, 23 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,833 feeding the habit that she's in, 24 00:02:06,917 --> 00:02:09,083 and throwing everything else aside. 25 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,917 - I don't care about anything right now. 26 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:16,250 In a matter of (bleep) 10 hours of not doin' a pill, I wanna (bleep) die. 27 00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:18,958 I want to hurt a lot of (bleep) people that have hurt me, 28 00:02:19,042 --> 00:02:21,375 and I (bleep) just... 29 00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:25,208 Good thing I don't have a (bleep) gun right now. 30 00:02:28,542 --> 00:02:30,500 - It's just a really bad time for her. 31 00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,583 - She's really breaking down right now, 32 00:02:32,708 --> 00:02:36,333 and I think everything that's going on is just really gettin' to her. 33 00:02:41,208 --> 00:02:42,833 (sobbing) 34 00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,625 - You want a hug, Shanni? - No. 35 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,375 (Bleep) is that gonna do? 36 00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:51,042 - It's kind of a... double-edged sword, 37 00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,917 that I'm gonna try to help Shannon... 38 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,542 get through her stuff while getting the baby away from Shannon. 39 00:02:58,042 --> 00:03:00,042 (exclamations) 40 00:03:00,625 --> 00:03:03,000 - Like, I'm sorry. Don't take it personally. 41 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,708 I just wanna (bleep) shoot myself right now. 42 00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:08,292 (Bleep) wanna hit myself! 43 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:10,583 Like, I just... I gotta take this off, 44 00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:14,250 and I gotta go lay down, and I'm gonna drink this (bleep) alcohol. 45 00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:18,542 I just wanna get (bleep) wasted until I'm gone. 46 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,333 Your good days (bleep) suck. 47 00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:27,625 Like, the best day I've had in the last two years still (bleep) sucks. 48 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:43,667 I can tack her up for you if you want. 49 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:47,000 - I have been friends with Shannon for 15 years now. 50 00:03:47,083 --> 00:03:48,667 We met through horseback ridin. 51 00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:51,417 Shannon has been quite passionate about horses. 52 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:55,000 - We've just always been close since I was about seven. 53 00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,792 I'm super excited to get on him. 54 00:03:56,875 --> 00:03:58,542 It's been so long. 55 00:03:59,292 --> 00:04:01,292 - I think Shannon's love for horses... 56 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,833 is her way of having control on her own life. 57 00:04:05,875 --> 00:04:07,375 - Oh, my gosh. 58 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,833 (laughing) It feels so cool. 59 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:13,167 - I think the only time I really see Shannon, her true self, 60 00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:15,167 is when she is around horses. 61 00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:16,833 (Shannon laughing) 62 00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,833 - I love horses a lot. They don't ever lie to you. 63 00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:24,167 It's just kinda like the whole rest of the world's not here, 64 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:26,000 and it's just me and that horse. 65 00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:30,583 I just kind of don't think about everything that is negative in my life, 66 00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:35,708 like fines and charges and losing my daughter and being a drug addict. 67 00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,708 Whoa... 68 00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:40,458 - I would always ask Shannon to hang out. 69 00:04:40,542 --> 00:04:43,417 I would invite her over to hang out with the horses, 70 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,833 I would invite her just to see her. 71 00:04:45,917 --> 00:04:49,000 I did not realize it was this bad. I thought Shannon, 72 00:04:49,042 --> 00:04:51,458 over the years, was blowing me off to do better things. 73 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,917 Then I realized that Shannon wasn't coming for a reason. 74 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,208 - And I didn't want to portray that (bleep)-upness to you, 75 00:04:57,292 --> 00:05:00,042 because I didn't... like, 76 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,292 someday I hope that I'm not (bleep) up. 77 00:05:02,375 --> 00:05:04,458 - Like, I feel awful that you didn't... 78 00:05:05,292 --> 00:05:07,833 (indistinct chatter) ...come to me, though. - It's not your fault. 79 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:10,750 It's 'cause I care about you so much that I didn't want to bring that... 80 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:19,167 - Knowing that she... could not come to me... for help, 81 00:05:19,208 --> 00:05:21,500 because she didn't think that I would help. 82 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:24,417 I-I can't imagine being embarrassed to come to somebody 83 00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:27,042 who would accept you for who you are no matter what. 84 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,625 (sniffling) - I really don't know. 85 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,833 I'm currently addicted to... 86 00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:39,000 opiates, meaning Dilaudid and hydromorphone; 87 00:05:39,042 --> 00:05:40,708 crack, cocaine, 88 00:05:40,792 --> 00:05:42,833 injecting cocaine. 89 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,833 You're not gonna like what you see. Hmm. 90 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,333 Okay. 91 00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:52,417 I'm ready to roll. 92 00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,708 I'll get up in the morning and I'll do a pill to not be sick. 93 00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:04,000 And then if I do end up smoking some crack or doing some coke, 94 00:06:04,083 --> 00:06:08,542 well then when that's gone, I need to do another pill or I feel like... 95 00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:10,625 a whole different level of sickness. 96 00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:13,375 Let's just do this. I'm just (bleep) happy to have this. 97 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,417 But then as soon as I do a pil, I don't care if I do any more coke and crack. 98 00:06:18,417 --> 00:06:20,083 And then a day or two will go by, 99 00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:22,708 then I want to do coke and crack again. 100 00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:25,333 And meanwhile, I'm doing pills every day, all day. 101 00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:30,625 I'm a crackhead and a pill-head and a (bleep) cokehead. 102 00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:35,333 And I'm just going more and more downhill. 103 00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:36,958 It's a vicious cycle. 104 00:06:37,042 --> 00:06:39,917 Just like that, you feel better. It's (bleep) sick. 105 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,625 - The last few years has been really terrible. 106 00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:48,500 She's pushin' us and pushin' us and pushin' us away. 107 00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:55,875 - Shannon was the cutest little girl that you could ever imagine. 108 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,667 (Yvonne): She was a lively baby. 109 00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,542 She learned everything early. 110 00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:03,333 The talking, the crawling, the walking. 111 00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:06,083 She has a huge connection to animals. 112 00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:09,333 When she first became in love with animals and she looked up in the field, 113 00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:13,417 there was a riding ring and there's horses in it, and she was, I think, four. 114 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,500 And she goes, "Daddy, what's that?" 115 00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:17,500 And he said, "Those are horses." 116 00:07:17,542 --> 00:07:20,292 They get out looked and they watched the girls ridin' around the ring. 117 00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:21,917 - And she wasn't intimidated at all. 118 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,583 She reached right in there and pet them, like a natural. 119 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:28,042 - And that's where she met a lot of her friends. 120 00:07:28,208 --> 00:07:30,708 - It was just all about our passion for the horses. 121 00:07:30,792 --> 00:07:33,833 - She felt awesome about the fact she's so small, 122 00:07:33,917 --> 00:07:36,833 and had control of this big horse. 123 00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:41,000 She's runnin' around with a 400-pound friend. Like, yeah. 124 00:07:41,042 --> 00:07:45,167 - She wanted to help every animal, she was out to save the world. 125 00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:48,042 - I was driving from the workhouse, 126 00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:51,042 and, um... I seen a cow. 127 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,833 (reporter): In a part of Nova Scotia 128 00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:55,875 where cow-crossing signs are common, 129 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,583 what isn't common is what Shannon came upon last Thursday. 130 00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,875 - I had seen a construction worker 131 00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:04,167 runnin' over to the truck to flag me down. 132 00:08:04,208 --> 00:08:07,708 He said, "You're in a truck. What do we do with this?!" I said, "Get him in the truck." 133 00:08:07,708 --> 00:08:10,083 (reporter): Then had to find milk to feed the calf. 134 00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:12,917 Once she got that, she began the hunt for its owners. 135 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,958 - She had named the cow Boobah, 136 00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:18,667 and fed it and kept it alive until she found a home for it. 137 00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:22,208 - Everybody has a passion. That's what she loved to do. 138 00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:23,833 There's a barn on Darrell's property 139 00:08:23,875 --> 00:08:26,667 where she used to have anywhere from one to four horses, 140 00:08:26,708 --> 00:08:29,500 holding them for people or rescuing them, 141 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,875 and that was her devotion before all this. 142 00:08:31,958 --> 00:08:33,958 It wasn't just a girl and her horse. 143 00:08:34,042 --> 00:08:35,625 It wasn't. 144 00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,750 - My husband Darrell did have a drinking problem. 145 00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:44,958 Shannon was probably three or four... 146 00:08:45,042 --> 00:08:48,250 when he stopped, because there was an incident one night with me. 147 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:51,833 He basically blackened my eye in front of Shannon... 148 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,833 ...and she tried to protect me. 149 00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:59,083 - And I remember I... laid overtop of my mom. 150 00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:03,042 I remember the look on his face and how bad he felt. 151 00:09:04,125 --> 00:09:08,208 - I had some jealousy issues and they would come out when I would drink. 152 00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:11,917 I just knew I had to stop or I'm gonna lose all my family and everything. 153 00:09:12,792 --> 00:09:16,000 I wish I could take all that back, but I can't. 154 00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:20,708 - It was that one episode that... it really changed him. 155 00:09:20,792 --> 00:09:23,750 Never, ever even barely seen him drink a beer after that. 156 00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:26,625 - Darrell and Yvonne had so much going on, 157 00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:28,417 just like every other parent in the world, 158 00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:30,458 they weren't taking a look 159 00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:34,667 at exactly what was going on trauma-wise in Shannon's mind. 160 00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:38,917 (Shannon): I was... about seven years old. 161 00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:42,417 A family member snuck into my room. 162 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:47,208 He molested me. I kind of suppressed the memories. 163 00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:51,333 Didn't tell my parents that it happened... 164 00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:54,000 until when I was about 17 or 18. 165 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,958 - We didn't find out until about 2018. 166 00:09:58,042 --> 00:10:00,625 We don't know the details. She won't talk about it. 167 00:10:00,708 --> 00:10:05,250 But I know it must've been bad, because that's when she started kind of going really downhill. 168 00:10:06,417 --> 00:10:08,083 - I was a 12-year-old pothead. 169 00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:12,000 I was really stoned every single day. When I was about... 170 00:10:12,042 --> 00:10:15,500 probably 16 or 17, my dad would smoke it with me. 171 00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:19,333 He didn't really like me smoking weed, but I was gonna do it anyways. 172 00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:23,542 - Someone mentioned maybe you should try just having a joint with her. 173 00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:27,875 You might get closer instead of everything being sneaky and hidin'. 174 00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,208 - She would be partying, 175 00:10:30,292 --> 00:10:32,667 she'd be hanging out with the wrong people. 176 00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:35,250 And then... we would get around the horses, 177 00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:39,250 and there's the old Shannon from when she was nine years od in love with horses. 178 00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:42,083 - She always got good grades. 179 00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:44,333 She did so well... 180 00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:48,375 that she graduated six months before any of her peers. 181 00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:50,042 - When I had graduated high school, 182 00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:52,958 I got a job at a barn in Stewiacke. 183 00:10:53,042 --> 00:10:55,667 I learned a lot about horses there. 184 00:10:56,542 --> 00:11:00,583 - This barn had high-end horses, some of them $20,000, $30,000 horses. 185 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:02,708 At that point, she was living her dream. 186 00:11:03,542 --> 00:11:05,417 - She was proud and happy. 187 00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:07,250 She would keep everything together. 188 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,375 We're talking 70-horse barn, like, just horses... 189 00:11:10,458 --> 00:11:12,250 That's a lot of work for anybody. 190 00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:15,125 (Shannon): It felt, like, really good. 191 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,917 Like I was depended on and trusted. 192 00:11:18,042 --> 00:11:21,958 I left there... because I wasn't getting paid very good, 193 00:11:22,042 --> 00:11:25,667 and then I started being overworked, underappreciated, 194 00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:28,042 taken for granted after the third year. 195 00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:32,292 And I would sleep, like, one day a week, maybe two and.. 196 00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:34,000 I burnt out. 197 00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:38,000 - That's when she went and got a job as a security officer 198 00:11:38,042 --> 00:11:39,833 at a gold mine that had opened up. 199 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:41,542 And then she met... 200 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,250 her ex-boyfriend. 201 00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:46,833 - I kinda had a flag up, 'cause he liked to drink all the time. 202 00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:50,167 I think everything kinda went downhill from there for her. 203 00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:53,583 So next thing you know, she's moving up to his house, 204 00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:56,875 she's pregnant, she gives up her job. 205 00:11:56,958 --> 00:12:00,083 - She was a beautiful baby. I felt like I had it all. 206 00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:03,833 (Yvonne): She'd come and visit us and she was like a normal mom. 207 00:12:03,917 --> 00:12:06,458 - Me and my daughter's dad were... 208 00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,208 not getting along for a while. 209 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:11,333 I'd had a couple of drinks, because at that point, 210 00:12:11,417 --> 00:12:13,167 I drank every day. 211 00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:16,000 I put her in the vehicle, not thinking, like: 212 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,708 Hey, I'm pretty much drunk. 213 00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:22,750 - That's when she ended up getting into a... drinking-and-driving accident 214 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,792 with my granddaughter in the truck. 215 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:27,125 She got charged with drinking and driving. 216 00:12:27,542 --> 00:12:29,250 - She was okay, luckily. 217 00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:39,208 - She met this guy, seemed really clean-cut. 218 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:42,167 Turns out that he gave her here first needle. 219 00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:45,500 - I keep envisioning her, 220 00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:47,708 just my beautiful girl again. 221 00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:50,000 I want my beautiful girl back. 222 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,500 - Shannon can't be the mom she needs to be, 223 00:12:52,583 --> 00:12:54,792 because Shannon... 224 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,208 can't be who she is right now, 225 00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:59,000 because of the drugs. 226 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:01,375 - How she used to be, always smiling, 227 00:13:01,458 --> 00:13:04,500 so confident, so mouthy and energetic... 228 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:09,792 ...to this shell of a person that thought so little of herself. 229 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,208 - Ever since that first time doing it, 230 00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:14,833 it's just been... 231 00:13:14,917 --> 00:13:17,375 a road of needles... 232 00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:20,125 ...and crack pipes and... 233 00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:23,708 broken promises and empty dreams, 234 00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:26,125 and losing everything. 235 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:36,583 (child babbling) I don't really want her to see me go out the door. 236 00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,208 It's really hard to leave her. 237 00:13:38,292 --> 00:13:40,667 Like, I know she doesn't want me to go, 238 00:13:40,708 --> 00:13:42,958 and sometimes I wonder, in my mind... 239 00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:46,083 ...if I'm gonna end up making it back. 240 00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:47,958 It's not fair to her. 241 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,167 My head's (bleep). 242 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:58,625 It's been like this all (bleep) day. 243 00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:03,208 I leave for a night and where I go and do cocaine and crack. 244 00:14:03,292 --> 00:14:05,583 - Hey. - Hey, what up? (indistinct chatter) 245 00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:10,625 My buddy goes around hotel-hopping. So he just goes in the hotels, 246 00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:13,750 and finds doors that are (bleep) open and treats the room like it's his. 247 00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:16,458 This guy's crazy. He's one of the craziest people I know, 248 00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:19,583 but he's got a very big heart, as long as you don't (bleep) with him. 249 00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:22,042 Does (bleep) hurt when it goes in your veins? 250 00:14:26,458 --> 00:14:28,125 What is this... stuff? 251 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,458 - Cocaine. 252 00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:34,083 You gotta do it. It's hard as hell with (bleep). 253 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:40,000 (Darrell): It's a dark road for her. 254 00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:42,917 It's dark for us to watch it. And I know right now, 255 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,458 she's in her darkest place I've ever seen her. 256 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:04,083 - I just really wish that I would've... followed my dreams. 257 00:15:04,208 --> 00:15:06,833 But I'm just going more and more downhill. 258 00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,667 I just don't care anymore. 259 00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,583 It just feels like it's too late. 260 00:15:11,958 --> 00:15:13,750 We're gonna have a good day. 261 00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:16,208 Dilaudid 8s and I have about... 262 00:15:16,292 --> 00:15:19,417 probably about a. 3 or. 4 of crack. 263 00:15:21,708 --> 00:15:23,667 I've given up, 264 00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:27,875 traded and lost everything that I've worked for my whole life for drugs. 265 00:15:27,958 --> 00:15:30,083 Once I ran outta things to sell, 266 00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:32,667 I started selling naked pictures of myself. 267 00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:36,667 Um, that's something that, like, if I'm really pill-sick, 268 00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:38,667 I will still do to this day. 269 00:15:39,208 --> 00:15:41,917 Um, I'm just gonna run over to my friend. 270 00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:46,833 I forgot those in the cup holder. 271 00:15:46,917 --> 00:15:48,708 - I know she feels super guilty, 272 00:15:48,792 --> 00:15:51,958 and she feels humiliated with everything that's gone on. 273 00:15:55,583 --> 00:15:58,333 - Like a nurse. I probably should've went to school. 274 00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:01,167 I wish I would've been a nurse instead of a junkie. 275 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,542 - The drugs have really done a number on her, 276 00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:08,417 in regards to her thought, her body, her mind, 277 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,167 all of it. 278 00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:19,500 - Hey. How you doing? 279 00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,500 - Good, good. (indistinct chatter) 280 00:16:21,542 --> 00:16:23,958 - Oh, not too much. Just going to the trap house. 281 00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:26,958 (laughter) 282 00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:30,333 (indistinct chatter) 283 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:40,333 (indistinct chatter) - Yeah, I lost my phone, but now you can take it. 284 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,667 I gave it to you. I'm not gonna... 285 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:46,417 I was so (bleep) pill-sick when I left my parents', I left wearing no makeup. 286 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,583 But I was so pill-sick, I didn't care. 287 00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:51,042 I knew there was a pill and I was going for it. 288 00:16:51,125 --> 00:16:54,875 - Those ones are hydromorphs, and some (indistinct) and some sleepers. 289 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,875 - Uh, just one or two. 290 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,042 But I've sniffed coke at least every weekend since I was 12 years old. 291 00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:02,708 And when I was 15-16, I started selling it, 292 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,667 and then I started daily use. 293 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,958 (producer): What was that, Chris? - That was, uh... 294 00:17:25,042 --> 00:17:27,208 a point... 1.5. 295 00:17:27,292 --> 00:17:30,458 (Shannon): Oh, okay. - The green fetty, green fentanyl. 296 00:17:31,708 --> 00:17:34,500 Now I'm startin' to feel it now. It's kinda... 297 00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:37,667 you feel it in your throat, in your teeth, in your head. 298 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,917 Like a nice warm feeling. 299 00:17:41,042 --> 00:17:43,958 It's... Yeah, it's... it's good. 300 00:17:44,042 --> 00:17:45,958 It's beautiful. 301 00:17:46,042 --> 00:17:47,708 Beautiful. (indistinct chatter) 302 00:17:47,792 --> 00:17:49,375 - Cheers. (bleep) 303 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:57,833 (woman): Chris. 304 00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:00,750 Chris. 305 00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,833 Come on. Come on, babe. 306 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:08,125 (mumbling) Can someone get another person just in case? 307 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,500 - What? - Shannon, come in here. 308 00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:23,208 - Hey, Chris. (bleep) 309 00:18:23,208 --> 00:18:25,333 We're gonna make sure his face doesn't get smothered. 310 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:28,167 I need you to move your hand, your face, Chris. Just a little bit, okay? 311 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,958 It's alright. Okay? I need you to keep moving your hand. 312 00:18:32,042 --> 00:18:34,333 (Chris groaning) Keep moving your finger. 313 00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,500 Can somebody find me a (bleep) lighter?! Thank you. 314 00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:38,625 - Hey, Chris. 315 00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:41,458 (indistinct) 316 00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:45,500 - Yeah, Jess, he's okay. (indistinct chatter) 317 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,333 (screaming) 318 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,292 - C'mere. (indistinct chatter) 319 00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,833 - Just sip it. No, don't. Just little sips, alright? 320 00:18:52,958 --> 00:18:56,500 Little sips and I got a few pills comin' for ya with some fetty in them. 321 00:18:57,250 --> 00:19:00,375 Okay, let's switch positions. You rub his back, someone hold his (bleep) leg. 322 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,750 - Watch his head. (indistinct chatter) 323 00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:07,250 (indistinct chatter) (bleep) 324 00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:10,500 - Okay, I need you to stay still now. (coughing) 325 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,250 - Turn your head this way, dude. 326 00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:14,125 (retching) (indistinct chatter) 327 00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:15,917 (crying out and coughing) 328 00:19:16,792 --> 00:19:18,333 - Stay still, Chris. 329 00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:22,500 - There. Stay still. I got it. 330 00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:24,833 (indistinct chatter) - She got it. (bleep) 331 00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:27,292 And... it's in. 332 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,708 (screaming) It's in, it's in, it's in. (coughing) 333 00:19:35,042 --> 00:19:36,500 - Good job, man. 334 00:19:37,458 --> 00:19:39,292 - You okay? (bleep) 335 00:19:40,167 --> 00:19:43,708 They wanna just kinda mingle with that line. You know what I mean? 336 00:19:43,792 --> 00:19:46,583 Like, they wanna get that high that they almost die but they don't die. 337 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:48,958 - Ready to go back? - You're back, bro. 338 00:19:49,042 --> 00:19:50,667 (indistinct chatter) 339 00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:54,333 - (Bleep) that. I need a drink, man. I'm (bleep) dying here. 340 00:19:54,417 --> 00:19:58,167 - He's mad at us right now. Like he's (bleep) pissed the (bleep) off, 341 00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,708 because we Narcaned him and made him sober. 342 00:20:00,792 --> 00:20:03,708 - This is just a Monday night in the trap house. 343 00:20:04,167 --> 00:20:05,750 - Like... 344 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,667 this is not... this is... (chuckling) 345 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,208 (sniffling) - None of us want to be this way, 346 00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,292 even the ones that think they do. 347 00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:15,542 It hurts so bad. 348 00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:23,958 (♪) 349 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:29,208 - I'm gonna see if Shannon texted me. 350 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,833 Nope, nothing yet. 351 00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:34,500 - She left last night. Don't know who she left with. 352 00:20:34,625 --> 00:20:36,583 I don't know where she went. 353 00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:40,000 I just know that she was going for a fix. 100% know that. 354 00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:42,167 - She'll say, you know, "I'll be home at 10," 355 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:44,375 then we don't see her for two days. 356 00:20:45,542 --> 00:20:47,292 - It drives me crazy. With the drugs, 357 00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,292 I think she'd almost do anything. 358 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,958 So I don't know. 359 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,917 I don't really know the answers. 360 00:20:55,458 --> 00:20:57,917 (Yvonne): Mama's home. - It just has to stop. 361 00:20:58,042 --> 00:20:59,875 These people are not her friends. 362 00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:03,500 They don't care about her. They just care about what she does for them. 363 00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:06,917 - She's gonna sleep for... a little while. - Yeah. 364 00:21:07,042 --> 00:21:09,375 - I gotta start getting ready for dinner. 365 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:15,792 Tonight we're having our first family gathering 366 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,750 since my parents passed away in 2018. 367 00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:21,458 It's gonna be nice to have the family back together again, 368 00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:23,333 even just for an evening. 369 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,917 Earlier she told me to get out of her room, 370 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,500 so I just got outta there, because sometimes it's easier, 371 00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,167 especially when she's coming down, 372 00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,417 if she is coming down off something, 373 00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:34,833 'cause the last thing I want to do is fight with her. 374 00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:54,958 - Hey, bud. Shannon here? 375 00:21:55,042 --> 00:21:58,000 - Uh, she is. I don't know if she's up yet. She's struggling. 376 00:21:58,083 --> 00:21:59,792 - Yeah. 377 00:22:01,583 --> 00:22:04,042 (Bleep) I hate my life. (Bleep) hate my life. 378 00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:07,583 I need to find something, or I'm gonna... 379 00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:11,583 I have about three hours until I... feel like I'm (bleep) dying. 380 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,875 Because I already am starting to now. 381 00:22:21,375 --> 00:22:24,708 (child babbling) - It's so good to see you. - Mm. 382 00:22:24,792 --> 00:22:28,625 (indistinct chatter) - When I saw Shannon, my heart broke. 383 00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:32,000 Not just for her, but for her family. 384 00:22:32,042 --> 00:22:34,000 She's frail... 385 00:22:34,042 --> 00:22:37,667 and she's lost, and that's not the Shannon that I know. 386 00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:40,542 The Shannon that I know is very strong. 387 00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:42,542 An absolute fighter. 388 00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:50,000 - I love you. - She's in such a deep hole... 389 00:22:50,083 --> 00:22:52,042 that she doesn't recognize... 390 00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:55,625 ...what getting out of that hole will look like. 391 00:22:59,417 --> 00:23:01,083 (indistinct chatter) - Yeah, me too. 392 00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:02,708 (background chatter) 393 00:23:05,958 --> 00:23:07,417 - I'm full. 394 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,708 - She lost her... light. 395 00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:15,375 When I watched her on the couc, passed out, what she was... 396 00:23:15,458 --> 00:23:16,917 with everyone around her... 397 00:23:18,958 --> 00:23:22,125 ...I felt scared for her; not just for her, but for her family, 398 00:23:22,208 --> 00:23:25,375 for her friends, but most of all for her daughter. 399 00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:38,958 - And it wouldn't be a family function if we weren't smoking somethin'. 400 00:23:40,625 --> 00:23:43,333 - No. - Remember Nanny and Grandpa, 401 00:23:43,417 --> 00:23:45,167 remember that last day with Grandpa? 402 00:23:45,667 --> 00:23:47,500 That was a down spiral in my life. 403 00:23:47,583 --> 00:23:50,667 - It was a very hard day for all of us. - Right? 404 00:23:50,708 --> 00:23:54,125 Shannon, I hope you, uh, I hope you do get better in the end, man. 405 00:23:54,208 --> 00:23:57,958 - Me too. - I don't wanna... I don't wanna have to bury you. 406 00:23:59,542 --> 00:24:01,917 - I had a dream and I couldn't let it all go. 407 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,875 - You let it go for now. But you're gonna get it back, though, 408 00:24:05,958 --> 00:24:08,625 'cause the dream's still here and it's still alive. 409 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:11,208 - I can't do it. Just... no. 410 00:24:11,292 --> 00:24:13,167 Like, I don't know what to do. 411 00:24:13,208 --> 00:24:17,292 So I use 'cause I don't have (bleep). I don't know what to do. 412 00:24:17,375 --> 00:24:21,500 - She has had a lot of battles. She's fallen off the horse a lot in her life. 413 00:24:21,542 --> 00:24:26,375 But addiction is the one battle that she's hit the ground, having a hard time gettin' up. 414 00:24:26,375 --> 00:24:28,125 (child crying) (laughter) 415 00:24:33,208 --> 00:24:36,750 (Shannon): All these people are gonna watch me do this. Call someone who cares. 416 00:24:42,083 --> 00:24:44,542 At this point, I've hit such a rock bottom. 417 00:24:44,625 --> 00:24:46,667 Being an addict, it's hard. 418 00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:49,292 And sometimes you feel alone, 419 00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:51,083 like nobody understands. 420 00:24:51,792 --> 00:24:54,583 And I just feel like it's my choice 421 00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:56,875 to either get better, 422 00:24:56,958 --> 00:24:59,833 or I'm just gonna end up dead or in jail. 423 00:25:03,583 --> 00:25:06,375 That was a horrible cook. Ah, (bleep). 424 00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,917 I don't even have my (bleep) thing. 425 00:25:09,458 --> 00:25:11,042 (crying) 426 00:25:12,458 --> 00:25:14,667 (sniffling and crying) 427 00:25:14,750 --> 00:25:17,167 (Bleep) everything in my life doesn't (bleep) work. 428 00:25:20,417 --> 00:25:21,833 (bleep) 429 00:25:22,708 --> 00:25:26,167 (Dawn): Shannon has... such a huge heart. 430 00:25:27,042 --> 00:25:30,833 I think that Shannon gave all that she was to people, 431 00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,458 and I think she was let down a lot. 432 00:25:33,542 --> 00:25:35,958 - God. (bleep) Pipe is gone now. 433 00:25:36,833 --> 00:25:39,625 If I (bleep) lost that, I can't (bleep)... I can't do this. 434 00:25:39,708 --> 00:25:44,542 Like, if I lost another (bleep) probably $200 pipe, I (bleep), I give up. 435 00:25:44,625 --> 00:25:47,833 - And over time, it broke her piece by piece. 436 00:25:47,917 --> 00:25:49,667 - I need to find my pipe. 437 00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:53,083 It's gotta be in the car. And I don't... 438 00:25:53,167 --> 00:25:56,833 really help myself or allow myself to be helped. 439 00:25:57,708 --> 00:26:00,125 When I just need somebody to (bleep) save me, 440 00:26:00,208 --> 00:26:03,333 but I won't burden people's problems and be, like: Hey, 441 00:26:03,375 --> 00:26:07,042 I (bleep) don't know what I'm doing with my life at all. 442 00:26:07,042 --> 00:26:10,417 I've lost everything. People take all my (bleep). It's all gone. 443 00:26:10,542 --> 00:26:13,917 (Dawn): I think that it destroyed what she had left. 444 00:26:14,875 --> 00:26:18,583 A belief in love. And I think without the belief in love... 445 00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:21,708 ...Shannon can't function. 446 00:26:21,792 --> 00:26:24,333 - Guess what. We all (bleep) got touched. 447 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,417 We all got (bleep) left. 448 00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:28,042 - And we need to get her back. 449 00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:38,708 - Yeah, just come in. 450 00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:44,958 - Hi, everybody. How are you today? 451 00:26:45,042 --> 00:26:47,583 - We're doing okay. Thank you. - Good to have you here for Shannon. 452 00:26:47,708 --> 00:26:49,750 My name's Ian Rabb. I'm a certified interventionist. 453 00:26:49,833 --> 00:26:51,792 And today we're gonna do a lot of work, 454 00:26:51,875 --> 00:26:54,125 walking through how we can help Shannon 455 00:26:54,208 --> 00:26:57,000 and allow her the opportunity to get well. 456 00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:59,667 What happens in an intervention I think that's really important, 457 00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:02,500 it's your love and you coming together. 458 00:27:02,542 --> 00:27:04,042 It's no one's fault in this room. 459 00:27:04,125 --> 00:27:05,750 I know that's so hard for parents. 460 00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:08,167 So why don't we start with Mom? 461 00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:11,792 - Okay, Shannon and I are close, but we're also very far apart. 462 00:27:11,875 --> 00:27:15,083 The reason being I think I've been too... 463 00:27:15,167 --> 00:27:19,000 trying to control things, trying to... I guess mould her. 464 00:27:19,083 --> 00:27:22,792 Maybe overbearing, yes. But always out of love. 465 00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,792 - She'd be at a party and no matter what party she was at, 466 00:27:25,875 --> 00:27:27,583 she would find out where she was. 467 00:27:27,708 --> 00:27:29,542 And she would get there and try-- 468 00:27:29,625 --> 00:27:32,083 - Helicopter mom. - Yeah, she was. Yeah, 100%. 469 00:27:32,167 --> 00:27:34,833 - I think that's a huge part of the problem. - Yeah. 470 00:27:34,875 --> 00:27:37,500 - You have an addiction to Shannon. - I was obsessed with-- 471 00:27:37,583 --> 00:27:40,208 - You're obsessed with where she is, what she's doing, how. 472 00:27:40,292 --> 00:27:42,292 Every day you're letting her in that house, 473 00:27:42,375 --> 00:27:46,042 she's harming not only you, but the three-year-old. 474 00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:50,375 Who's gonna grow up just like her. I need you to process that. 475 00:27:50,458 --> 00:27:52,167 - Just imagine how (bleep) feels, 476 00:27:52,250 --> 00:27:55,042 seeing Shannon bounce around but still not havin' her mother there. 477 00:27:55,125 --> 00:27:57,000 - And gone for two weeks at a time. 478 00:27:57,125 --> 00:28:00,125 - And then it's just all okay 'cause Nanny is gonna take care of it? 479 00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,167 It's what it's time for. 480 00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:07,708 'Cause it's... it's not gonna get better. 481 00:28:07,792 --> 00:28:09,833 Love yourself. (Yvonne chuckling wryly) 482 00:28:09,917 --> 00:28:11,833 - We're like loving our children to death. 483 00:28:11,958 --> 00:28:13,958 - Yeah. - We're no longer helping them. 484 00:28:14,042 --> 00:28:15,833 Is there any traumas you can recall? 485 00:28:15,917 --> 00:28:18,250 - Yeah, there's some traumas, for sure. 486 00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:20,375 I believe, you know, she was molested. 487 00:28:21,542 --> 00:28:23,500 - She was about 18 when we found out. 488 00:28:23,542 --> 00:28:26,292 - You feeling like you should've protected her. - 100%. 489 00:28:26,375 --> 00:28:29,583 In the younger years, I... I drank quite a bit. 490 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:33,125 You know, did things that I shouldn't have done, you know, outta anger. 491 00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:35,792 There's no question in my mind that's definitely a part of it. 492 00:28:35,875 --> 00:28:40,500 - Like, what kind of stuff? - Uh, picking on her mom. Jealous issues. 493 00:28:40,542 --> 00:28:43,500 - I want to talk about something that's very interesting to me in your family, 494 00:28:43,583 --> 00:28:46,292 and that's all of your relationship with pot or with marijuana. 495 00:28:46,375 --> 00:28:48,333 I just think it needs to be addressed, 496 00:28:48,375 --> 00:28:51,667 even sharing a joint with her to try and learn how to communicate with her. 497 00:28:51,708 --> 00:28:55,125 - That was me. - And when was that? - She was about 16. 498 00:28:55,917 --> 00:28:58,792 She said, "Mom, that's one of my biggest issues, 499 00:28:58,875 --> 00:29:01,333 is you pretend that you don't smoke pot, 500 00:29:01,375 --> 00:29:04,042 but then I can smell it coming up from the basement." 501 00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:06,708 That was a huge barrier for her, that I'm saying, 502 00:29:06,792 --> 00:29:08,667 "No, you be good and don't smoke pot," 503 00:29:08,708 --> 00:29:11,542 then she could smell a waft of it coming up from stairs. 504 00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:14,333 - That's a little bit of a... like, hypocritical. - Yeah. 505 00:29:14,375 --> 00:29:17,917 I shouldn't... I shouldn't even really be smoking it, to tell you the truth. 506 00:29:18,042 --> 00:29:21,250 - For an addict, often the booze bone's connected to the pot bone, 507 00:29:21,333 --> 00:29:23,667 connected to the coke bone, connected to the Dilaudid bone. 508 00:29:23,708 --> 00:29:27,583 - Yeah. - Connected to the next... You know? We cross lines. 509 00:29:27,708 --> 00:29:32,333 I really want you to be cognizant of your own... addictions. 510 00:29:32,417 --> 00:29:35,667 When did she start abusing alcohol or marijuana or drugs? 511 00:29:35,708 --> 00:29:38,167 - I think she's 12. I'd say around 12. 512 00:29:38,292 --> 00:29:40,833 - There's gonna be a lot of stuff she's gonna need you to say - 513 00:29:40,917 --> 00:29:43,333 you - to say, "I'm sorry. 514 00:29:43,375 --> 00:29:46,667 I contributed to your addiction by smoking marijuana with you. 515 00:29:46,750 --> 00:29:50,958 I contributed to your addiction by not knowing about your abuse." 516 00:29:51,042 --> 00:29:53,250 And you've been obviously around... 517 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,375 - I've been around Shannon since day one. 518 00:29:55,458 --> 00:29:58,208 For a long time, we were a happy family. 519 00:29:58,333 --> 00:30:00,292 I went through my own rough times, 520 00:30:00,375 --> 00:30:03,542 and developed a... addiction to crack cocaine. 521 00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:06,708 And that kind of destroyed 522 00:30:06,875 --> 00:30:09,833 some of the family relationships that I had. 523 00:30:09,875 --> 00:30:11,333 It's a battle. 524 00:30:11,417 --> 00:30:13,833 - Are you alright, Michael? What's goin' on? 525 00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:16,333 - I will be. Um-- - So you've grown up with her? 526 00:30:16,375 --> 00:30:18,375 - Yeah, she was my best friend when we were little. 527 00:30:18,458 --> 00:30:21,917 I wanna grow to come back to being best friends like we used to, right? 528 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,792 - So you're more like a brother, it sounds like. 529 00:30:23,875 --> 00:30:26,833 - Me and Shannon have a daily communication. "I love ya. Keep your head up." 530 00:30:26,917 --> 00:30:29,208 But I think that she's gonna listen to me. 531 00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:31,667 - That's really an important person to have in an intervention. 532 00:30:31,750 --> 00:30:35,708 - Yeah. - Where your word means something right now to her. 533 00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:38,167 No addict really wants to quit ever. 534 00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:41,375 It's the most difficult thing to do in the world, 535 00:30:41,458 --> 00:30:43,167 or we would all just quit. 536 00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:45,250 - She said that to me the other day. We were close-- 537 00:30:45,333 --> 00:30:47,167 - You mean a lot to her. - --until a year ago. 538 00:30:47,208 --> 00:30:50,375 And over time, I watched her... slip away. 539 00:30:50,458 --> 00:30:53,000 I see her now as... lost. 540 00:30:53,042 --> 00:30:55,500 - I was thinking a bottom line might be something: 541 00:30:55,583 --> 00:30:57,500 "If you don't stop drugs, 542 00:30:57,583 --> 00:31:00,917 I will not be able to have you come over the house unsupervised," for example. 543 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,000 - Not at all. - No, that's too weak. That is weak. 544 00:31:04,042 --> 00:31:07,500 - If she doesn't stop drugs, she's going to die! 545 00:31:07,542 --> 00:31:09,000 - There's no strength there. 546 00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:12,833 - "We're on a life-or-death mission, so get on it with us. 547 00:31:12,917 --> 00:31:14,667 You're not welcome in my home." 548 00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:17,792 - In my life. You are gone. - Not just say it, you need to believe it. 549 00:31:17,875 --> 00:31:21,333 Because if you don't believe it, she's not gonna believe it. 550 00:31:21,375 --> 00:31:24,167 - If you don't get on the same page with us, she's done, she'll walk out. 551 00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:26,125 You need to come to terms with the fact 552 00:31:26,208 --> 00:31:29,292 that the way you're going, you're burying her alive. 553 00:31:29,292 --> 00:31:31,833 We want to give her the opportunity to learn how to quit, 554 00:31:31,917 --> 00:31:34,458 and ultimately find that... 555 00:31:34,542 --> 00:31:36,833 that spirit, her soul. 556 00:31:36,917 --> 00:31:39,542 Her freedom comes in the truth. 557 00:32:04,042 --> 00:32:06,083 I feel it a tiny bit. 558 00:32:06,167 --> 00:32:08,375 - Good morning. How's everybody doing this morning? 559 00:32:08,458 --> 00:32:11,083 - This is the day that my daughter is gonna be saved. 560 00:32:11,167 --> 00:32:13,708 - Yeah. - I feel it in my bones. 561 00:32:13,792 --> 00:32:16,042 - I'm gonna have some more juice. 562 00:32:16,125 --> 00:32:19,042 But I (bleep) hate rushing. I hate it. 563 00:32:19,667 --> 00:32:21,208 - I feel very hopeful. 564 00:32:21,292 --> 00:32:23,625 I believe that she is surrounded by love. 565 00:32:23,958 --> 00:32:25,500 And she's gonna see that. 566 00:32:25,542 --> 00:32:28,000 - I'm sorry. It's not you. I just (bleep)... 567 00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:31,542 I can't stop contemplating suicide right now. 568 00:32:31,625 --> 00:32:35,417 I (bleep) hate rushing out doors. I hate it so much! 569 00:32:36,750 --> 00:32:39,542 Don't have anything that I (bleep) need, but let's go. 570 00:32:39,625 --> 00:32:42,875 - So I wanted to welcome you, Devon. Thanks for coming today. 571 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,375 - Just excited to have my friend back. 572 00:32:44,458 --> 00:32:46,375 - It's been a long time. - It has been. 573 00:32:49,750 --> 00:32:51,208 Okay, everybody, they're here. 574 00:32:51,292 --> 00:32:53,042 - Everybody ready? - Yes. 575 00:32:53,167 --> 00:32:55,208 (Yvonne, Dawn and Darrell): We're ready. 576 00:33:10,708 --> 00:33:12,125 - This way? 577 00:33:14,208 --> 00:33:16,583 - Hi, Shannon. - Hey. - How are you? I'm Ian. 578 00:33:19,167 --> 00:33:22,375 Have a seat for the conversations with your family. 579 00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:24,125 (all): Hi. 580 00:33:24,208 --> 00:33:27,333 - So, Shannon, we all came together today in love, 581 00:33:27,417 --> 00:33:30,750 as a family, to give you the support you need to be able to get well. 582 00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:34,250 We're gonna read some letters to you and offer you some gifts today. 583 00:33:35,333 --> 00:33:37,125 So, Yvonne, do you wanna start? 584 00:33:38,083 --> 00:33:39,750 - "To my beautiful daughter Shannon, 585 00:33:39,833 --> 00:33:41,833 the love I have for you is immense. 586 00:33:41,917 --> 00:33:44,000 That is why I want to help save your life. 587 00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:46,083 I've become very scared. 588 00:33:46,083 --> 00:33:48,000 Addiction has taken your daughter from you, 589 00:33:48,125 --> 00:33:50,000 and your self-respect, 590 00:33:50,083 --> 00:33:52,375 but it's not too late to regain either. 591 00:33:52,458 --> 00:33:56,667 I know at times I was overbearing. And for that, I am sorry. 592 00:33:56,667 --> 00:34:00,583 If you don't accept this amazing offer of help, 593 00:34:00,667 --> 00:34:04,083 our relationship will need to be strictly through phone calls or Messenger. 594 00:34:04,750 --> 00:34:07,083 I can no longer watch you die before my eyes." 595 00:34:08,125 --> 00:34:09,500 - Michael John? 596 00:34:09,542 --> 00:34:13,000 - "Shannon, I love you with my whole heart." 597 00:34:13,125 --> 00:34:15,042 (sniffling) 598 00:34:15,167 --> 00:34:17,292 "We always talk about getting the kiddos together, 599 00:34:17,375 --> 00:34:19,792 but, Shannon, if you do not accept the treatment today, 600 00:34:19,875 --> 00:34:22,583 the chances of us getting those kids together is gone. 601 00:34:24,208 --> 00:34:26,917 The hospital trips and whenever you need help is over. 602 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,167 I won't do it anymore. That's not because I don't love you. 603 00:34:30,250 --> 00:34:32,792 It's because I'm scared to lose you." 604 00:34:32,875 --> 00:34:34,458 (Shannon sniffling) - I know. 605 00:34:36,292 --> 00:34:39,375 - "Dear Shannon, I have loved you..." Sorry. 606 00:34:39,458 --> 00:34:43,458 "...since the first day we met at the barn 18 years ago. 607 00:34:43,542 --> 00:34:46,333 We shared the exact same outrageous obsession over horses. 608 00:34:47,542 --> 00:34:51,417 Our friendship has grown into so much more since that day. 609 00:34:51,417 --> 00:34:53,542 If you don't decide to receive help, 610 00:34:53,667 --> 00:34:56,000 we will not be able to spend time 611 00:34:56,083 --> 00:34:59,708 making new memories with our children, what we had growing up." 612 00:35:00,625 --> 00:35:03,125 (whispering): I love you. (Ian): Phil? 613 00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:08,542 - "Dear Shannon, I love you as much today as I did the day you were born. 614 00:35:08,625 --> 00:35:12,208 I'm very worried that this addiction is gonna... 615 00:35:12,292 --> 00:35:13,958 take you away from us. 616 00:35:14,042 --> 00:35:16,833 Shannon, you asked me about comin' to my house the other day, 617 00:35:16,833 --> 00:35:18,667 and I told you anytime. 618 00:35:18,708 --> 00:35:22,250 However, you will need to accept the help that is offered to you today 619 00:35:22,333 --> 00:35:24,167 before I could bring you into my home. 620 00:35:24,208 --> 00:35:27,375 We need you to get clean." (Ian): Dawn? 621 00:35:29,167 --> 00:35:31,125 - "Since the moment I met you, 622 00:35:31,208 --> 00:35:34,250 I saw your light and your true empathy. 623 00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:36,542 I can't... watch... 624 00:35:37,875 --> 00:35:39,500 ...as you kill your spirit. 625 00:35:39,583 --> 00:35:41,917 But unless you take this gift, 626 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:46,458 I will cut all communication until you choose you. 627 00:35:46,583 --> 00:35:49,542 Love yourself, love your daughter, 628 00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:53,125 and the many animals that are going to need you." 629 00:35:54,792 --> 00:35:56,542 (Ian): Dad? 630 00:35:56,625 --> 00:36:00,833 - "Shannon, I have loved you since I seen you come into this world. 631 00:36:01,625 --> 00:36:05,208 I've been proud to call you my daughter and still am very proud. 632 00:36:05,792 --> 00:36:07,458 I want to apologize... 633 00:36:08,042 --> 00:36:10,625 ...for the hurt I have caused you, like my drinking, 634 00:36:10,708 --> 00:36:13,208 for fighting with Mom in front of you. 635 00:36:13,292 --> 00:36:17,625 I must admit that I have toked with you when you were younger..." 636 00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:20,000 (sniffling) "...and I regret it. 637 00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:22,875 And I can't enable you no more, 638 00:36:22,958 --> 00:36:24,833 so please accept this help. 639 00:36:24,917 --> 00:36:28,042 I don't want to turn my back on you ever. Love, Dad." 640 00:36:28,167 --> 00:36:30,333 I love you. - I love you. 641 00:36:31,667 --> 00:36:35,000 - So, Shannon, we're hoping that you're gonna say yes today. 642 00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:38,542 And as a team and a family, we've chosen some places for you to go to get well, 643 00:36:38,625 --> 00:36:40,917 to the Neworld Detox in Ontario. 644 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,667 And from there, we're gonna go right to Trafalgar Residence. 645 00:36:43,708 --> 00:36:47,458 Trafalgar is a place that really does really good work 646 00:36:47,542 --> 00:36:49,542 around trauma and mental-health issues. 647 00:36:49,542 --> 00:36:52,083 We're leaving today. - Right now? - Yeah. 648 00:36:52,208 --> 00:36:54,583 - You're one step closer already, Shan. 649 00:37:03,750 --> 00:37:07,458 - I'm so (bleep) tired. - I know, baby. I know you are. 650 00:37:08,875 --> 00:37:10,667 - I'm gonna get better. 651 00:37:11,708 --> 00:37:14,583 I really didn't think it was gonna be like this. 652 00:37:14,667 --> 00:37:16,667 I thought I was just down a path 653 00:37:16,750 --> 00:37:20,333 where I was just gonna lose everyone and everything. 654 00:37:20,417 --> 00:37:23,542 - Shannon, you'll take the help we're offering you today? 655 00:37:23,625 --> 00:37:25,792 - Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. 656 00:37:26,375 --> 00:37:28,042 - Good job, honey. (sniffling) 657 00:37:28,125 --> 00:37:29,708 (Dawn): We love you. 658 00:37:29,833 --> 00:37:33,625 You have no idea how much we love you. 659 00:37:41,542 --> 00:37:43,625 - We're a couple of OGs here. 660 00:37:43,708 --> 00:37:46,167 (Yvonne): Good luck. - I'm so excited for you. 661 00:37:46,250 --> 00:37:47,750 (Darrell): Love you, honey. 662 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:49,875 - I love you guys. (Michael): Love you. 663 00:37:49,958 --> 00:37:53,167 - This is the beginning of the rest of your life. Okay? - Mm-hmm. 664 00:37:53,250 --> 00:37:57,500 I'm petrified, but I'm more scared to keep living the way that I have been. 665 00:37:57,583 --> 00:37:59,750 - Bye! - Love you, honey! 666 00:38:00,750 --> 00:38:02,292 - Love you. 667 00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:10,792 - The best journey. 668 00:38:22,625 --> 00:38:24,792 Really proud of you. (laughter) 669 00:38:24,875 --> 00:38:26,667 - Hey. - Hey. 670 00:38:26,750 --> 00:38:29,833 (both): Thank you. - Oh, my gosh, of course. Welcome. 671 00:38:29,875 --> 00:38:33,292 In Shannon's case, for her level of substance use, 672 00:38:33,375 --> 00:38:37,833 it's really important that she starts her recovery journey with us at Neworld, 673 00:38:37,917 --> 00:38:40,167 which is a medically supervised detox site. 674 00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:41,750 Let's go in here. 675 00:38:41,833 --> 00:38:43,750 Thirteen years of substance us, 676 00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:46,417 and especially at the early ages... 677 00:38:46,542 --> 00:38:48,250 is gonna be tricky. 678 00:38:48,375 --> 00:38:50,208 I think there are gonna be some hard days 679 00:38:50,292 --> 00:38:52,000 that we're gonna be here to support her. 680 00:38:52,125 --> 00:38:53,667 It's very exciting. 681 00:38:53,708 --> 00:38:55,500 I think there's a great opportunity 682 00:38:55,542 --> 00:38:57,542 for her to discover just that, who she is. 683 00:38:57,625 --> 00:38:59,667 - So happy to be here. 684 00:39:21,417 --> 00:39:23,583 - When Shannon first arrived at iRecover, 685 00:39:23,667 --> 00:39:25,500 she was completely broken. 686 00:39:25,542 --> 00:39:27,583 She was suffering from opiate withdrawal. 687 00:39:28,583 --> 00:39:31,500 - What led me to come back was just, I think, 688 00:39:31,625 --> 00:39:35,625 the self-shame and the regret that I had of messing it up. 689 00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:41,542 - Offering individuals a more relaxed approach, and laid-back approach, 690 00:39:41,625 --> 00:39:44,500 allows them to be able to feel less stigmatized. 691 00:39:44,625 --> 00:39:46,250 - There. How does that look? 692 00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:49,417 I was nervous about doing this, but I think I did awesome. 693 00:39:49,500 --> 00:39:51,333 - Really good. 694 00:39:51,458 --> 00:39:54,875 - They're workin' on themselves all day and they're doin' it collectively. 695 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,042 So they get to know people at a level... 696 00:39:57,125 --> 00:40:00,833 you would never get to know people in other facilities. 697 00:40:00,917 --> 00:40:03,417 - What up? (all): Hey, Shannon. (laughter) 698 00:40:03,542 --> 00:40:05,833 - When I got through these doors, 699 00:40:05,958 --> 00:40:07,542 I didn't love myself, 700 00:40:07,625 --> 00:40:10,792 and they just... bombarded me with love 701 00:40:10,875 --> 00:40:13,292 until I learned how to love myself. 702 00:40:13,375 --> 00:40:17,167 You guys ready to do some drawing and stuff? (indistinct chatter) 703 00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:19,625 - iRecover is very holistic program. 704 00:40:19,708 --> 00:40:22,917 It looks at people both emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. 705 00:40:23,042 --> 00:40:26,583 - I wanna get a thing of... of a needle and, like, thread. 706 00:40:26,667 --> 00:40:29,125 - Oh, yeah. - Through that scar there. - Yeah. 707 00:40:29,208 --> 00:40:31,125 - To just remind me of... 708 00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:33,375 ...to never go back. 709 00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:35,750 I really feel like I was rebor. 710 00:40:36,667 --> 00:40:39,083 When I first got here, I thought that I was gonna be.. 711 00:40:39,167 --> 00:40:42,667 doing it just for my daughter and for my family. 712 00:40:42,708 --> 00:40:44,917 In the last few weeks... 713 00:40:45,750 --> 00:40:47,625 ...I finally hit a point... 714 00:40:47,708 --> 00:40:50,458 that I actually want to be sober for me. 715 00:40:50,542 --> 00:40:53,458 I felt like I finally forgave myself. 716 00:40:54,042 --> 00:40:57,042 And I finally forgave me being molested. 717 00:40:57,167 --> 00:40:58,833 And I felt free. 718 00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:03,833 - We have a lot of interesting things that we do here. 719 00:41:08,042 --> 00:41:09,500 We do burning ceremonies, 720 00:41:09,542 --> 00:41:11,250 we have our rock garden. 721 00:41:11,333 --> 00:41:12,875 (drumming) 722 00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:17,500 - When new people come in the door and they see those rocks, 723 00:41:17,542 --> 00:41:20,167 it can just give them little glimmers of hope. 724 00:41:21,208 --> 00:41:25,458 Where I was at 10 years ago was what I thought was a functional addict, 725 00:41:25,542 --> 00:41:28,042 but there is no such thing as a functional addict. 726 00:41:28,167 --> 00:41:32,583 And where I'm at now is that I'm finally where I wanna be. 727 00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:35,792 - Shannon's biggest obstacle, when she leaves here, 728 00:41:35,875 --> 00:41:39,167 is going to be getting back into the daily routine. 729 00:41:39,208 --> 00:41:41,583 I know we've been working closely with her, her family, 730 00:41:41,667 --> 00:41:45,083 to see how we can best transition Shannon from treatment, 731 00:41:45,167 --> 00:41:47,042 um, back home. 732 00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:55,917 - When I come outta here, I certainly plan to get back to working with horses again, 733 00:41:56,042 --> 00:41:59,167 build the trust back of my family to be there for my daughter. 734 00:42:02,125 --> 00:42:05,667 I was always a healer who couldn't heal myself, 735 00:42:05,750 --> 00:42:08,417 but I have finally found those skills 736 00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:10,208 to heal myself. 737 00:42:10,292 --> 00:42:12,292 (cheering and applause) (laughter) 738 00:42:29,417 --> 00:42:31,292 Subtitling: difuze