1 00:00:09,583 --> 00:00:10,917 SPEAKER 1: Being in a relationship 2 00:00:11,042 --> 00:00:12,458 is difficult enough. 3 00:00:12,542 --> 00:00:15,417 Add to it addiction and you have a perfect recipe 4 00:00:15,542 --> 00:00:20,500 for tornado to come that you're not going to be able to stop. 5 00:00:20,625 --> 00:00:23,042 KEN SEELEY: There's that old saying, misery loves company. 6 00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:27,000 SPEAKER 2: I can't see it being anything 7 00:00:27,042 --> 00:00:28,792 other than a nightmare. 8 00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:30,750 SPEAKER 3: The worst hell you have 9 00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:32,458 ever had in your entire life. 10 00:00:38,542 --> 00:00:40,250 KEN SEELEY: Couples in their addiction 11 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,083 just tear each other apart. 12 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,250 You were done with that. 13 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,583 We were done with that. 14 00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,125 And you brought it back. 15 00:00:46,208 --> 00:00:47,375 The dishonesty-- 16 00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:48,042 [bleep]. 17 00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:48,917 I'm going. 18 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:49,708 I'm done. 19 00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:50,583 The manipulation-- 20 00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:51,833 The fighting-- 21 00:00:51,917 --> 00:00:53,250 I got-- it's actually your fault! 22 00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:56,208 And the codependency is deep. 23 00:00:56,333 --> 00:00:58,208 SPEAKER 4: The only thing harder than fighting 24 00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,792 an addiction is fighting codependency at the same time. 25 00:01:04,083 --> 00:01:05,875 KEN SEELEY: They're playing that dance of death 26 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,667 and they're killing each other. 27 00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:16,208 JOEY: The first time we ever hung out we used Meth. 28 00:01:16,292 --> 00:01:17,167 That's bad ass, baby. 29 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:18,000 ERIKA: You like it? 30 00:01:18,042 --> 00:01:19,167 JOEY: Yeah. 31 00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:21,708 I've been using Meth since I was 14. 32 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:24,750 It has been almost three years since I've seen my daughter. 33 00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:28,000 There's not a drug in the world that would hide that pain. 34 00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,917 Joey has been using Meth for many years. 35 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,625 Joey has stolen things from me. 36 00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:34,208 JOEY: I got some bad dope. 37 00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:36,833 An orthopedic surgeon was going to cut his arm off-- 38 00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:42,292 What all happened to Erica and Joey is more destruction. 39 00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:44,292 KAREN: They're really horrible for each other. 40 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,417 KEN SEELEY: It doesn't get worse than it is right now. 41 00:01:53,708 --> 00:01:58,583 Will you please accept this gift of treatment? 42 00:01:58,708 --> 00:02:00,542 Don't follow me with the [bleep] cameras. 43 00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,167 ERIKA: No matter what, at the end of the day, 44 00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:03,083 we're all we have. 45 00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,875 ERIKA: I'm going to go for some rocks. 46 00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:29,292 [music playing] 47 00:02:36,917 --> 00:02:37,667 I'm Joey. 48 00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:39,125 I'm 34. 49 00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:39,875 I'm Erika. 50 00:02:39,958 --> 00:02:41,292 I'm 33. 51 00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:43,833 And we're from Albuquerque, New Mexico. 52 00:02:43,958 --> 00:02:48,792 Albuquerque is one of a kind city, fast, hard-- 53 00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:49,542 Scary. 54 00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:50,542 --rough. 55 00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:53,250 But it's got its beauty for sure. 56 00:02:57,125 --> 00:02:59,458 Joey and I started dating a year and a half ago. 57 00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:02,500 We met on a dating site online. 58 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:05,375 It took literally like three sentences. 59 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:09,000 And we were meeting up, hey, what's up? 60 00:03:09,042 --> 00:03:09,708 You want to hang out? 61 00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:10,500 Yep. 62 00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:11,833 mm-hmm 63 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,792 BETHANN: Joey's always had girlfriends. 64 00:03:14,792 --> 00:03:16,125 So it was Erika. 65 00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:18,625 I thought, why did he have to go ahead 66 00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:21,375 and meet somebody again this quick. 67 00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:29,625 I love Joey's energy no matter what gets in his path. 68 00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:33,042 Oh, the hell, Vand. 69 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,208 ERIKA: She's psycho. 70 00:03:35,292 --> 00:03:37,333 KAREN: Erika is absolutely talented. 71 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:41,000 And she's got this will to do great things. 72 00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:42,792 But what's getting in the way for Erika 73 00:03:42,875 --> 00:03:46,458 is she always has a boyfriend to pull her down. 74 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:48,958 No. 75 00:03:49,042 --> 00:03:49,917 Where? 76 00:03:49,917 --> 00:03:51,000 Over here. 77 00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:53,000 This is our heart. 78 00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:54,333 I put it together for you. 79 00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:55,917 - That's bad ass, baby. - You like it? 80 00:03:56,042 --> 00:03:57,417 Yeah. 81 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,333 It used to have an E and a J in the middle but-- 82 00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:02,375 My relationship with Erica I could 83 00:04:02,458 --> 00:04:05,958 see myself being with her forever because love her. 84 00:04:06,083 --> 00:04:06,833 I didn't even know. 85 00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:08,042 When did you do that? 86 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:09,333 It's been a while. 87 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:12,583 I mean, absolutely, it's a forever love. 88 00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:16,667 (SINGING) Baby, I just need a ride. 89 00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:22,250 You see I'm walking and I'm lonely and I don't know why. 90 00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:25,458 I would love to spend the rest of my life with Joey, 91 00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:28,917 but he tends to find comfort in darkness. 92 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,500 And it scares me. 93 00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:33,542 When they are having a good time, it's a great time. 94 00:04:33,625 --> 00:04:35,958 They go rock hunting together. 95 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,500 They have the dogs. 96 00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:40,292 And also then, they enjoy the drugs together too. 97 00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:42,292 Let me take a hit because I'm not really 98 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:44,333 feeling like jamming at all. 99 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:47,125 We've been living a dark life for a long time. 100 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:48,333 It's what we know. 101 00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:56,167 I love you. 102 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:56,917 I love you too. 103 00:05:02,875 --> 00:05:06,833 Joey and I are addicted to methamphetamine. 104 00:05:06,917 --> 00:05:10,333 We need it to start our day and get out of bed. 105 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:15,042 We need it to be normal, to fit into everyday life. 106 00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:22,750 And it sucks. 107 00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:27,708 We use an eight ball a day easily, which is 3.5 grams. 108 00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:31,750 If we're shooting, it goes up to 5 grams. 109 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:41,500 Mostly, we smoke it out of a glass bubble. 110 00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:48,625 Sometimes, we'll do a hot rail. 111 00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:51,833 You Snort it through a hot glass tube through your nose. 112 00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:08,333 We spend all our money on drugs from $50 to $150 worth a day. 113 00:06:08,458 --> 00:06:09,500 It's really good, dope. 114 00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:12,458 So basically we're happy. 115 00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:13,625 Ready to start our day. 116 00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,042 Yep. 117 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,083 It engulfs our life. 118 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:21,542 JOEY: It makes me feel alive again. 119 00:06:25,292 --> 00:06:26,917 Do the same thing over and over. 120 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,875 And then we do it all over again, chase that sack. 121 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:38,958 We pay for our addiction by labor jobs, 122 00:06:39,042 --> 00:06:42,667 going to the scrapyard. 123 00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:45,667 BETHANN: Joey will work scrapping. 124 00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:47,917 And that's something I wouldn't want to do. 125 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,833 It's hard. 126 00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,625 But he does make money. 127 00:06:50,708 --> 00:06:53,417 He said put all the copper with the brass and everything. 128 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,333 And it was all unclean. 129 00:06:54,458 --> 00:06:55,250 He still gave me 18 130 00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:56,167 A yellow clean. 131 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,417 [bleep], yeah. 132 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:01,667 I've sold videos and pictures online. 133 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,833 If there's money to be made, we'll make it. 134 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,667 CASSIDY: Joey has stolen things from me-- 135 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,917 electric guitar, bass guitar. 136 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,708 He used those items to pawn to get Meth. 137 00:07:13,792 --> 00:07:17,958 When I first met Joey, he was telling me about what 138 00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:20,000 a great contractor he was. 139 00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:22,583 And that's when I found out he was full of baloney. 140 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:23,667 He doesn't know anything. 141 00:07:23,792 --> 00:07:26,458 They're always short of money. 142 00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:27,375 BARBARA: He's thin. 143 00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:28,667 He's losing his teeth. 144 00:07:28,708 --> 00:07:30,583 And he had a cellulitis. 145 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,375 He had to go to the hospital. 146 00:07:32,458 --> 00:07:34,042 My brother almost lost his arm. 147 00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:38,667 I happened to get some bad dope, shot it up in my arm. 148 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,667 And my arm blew up like a balloon and it went septic. 149 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:44,667 And it went into my heart. 150 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:47,250 BARBARA: An orthopedic surgeon was going to cut his arm off, 151 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,125 so they worked on him for a week. 152 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:50,208 Three different surgeries. 153 00:07:50,292 --> 00:07:51,583 There's a flesh eating disease. 154 00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:54,542 It was this close from killing me. 155 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:57,625 Because of her addiction, Erika 156 00:07:57,708 --> 00:08:00,250 has lost friends and family and her ability 157 00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:02,667 to work and make money. 158 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:06,667 KAREN: She's lost her home, her hope, her self-worth. 159 00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,167 She's lost everything. 160 00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:11,167 We did go like a week without it once, remember that? 161 00:08:11,292 --> 00:08:12,208 Eight days, yeah. 162 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,458 Yeah. 163 00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:15,125 When we don't have it, we fight. 164 00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,542 We're down each other's throats. 165 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,542 When things don't go Erika's way, she gets violent. 166 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,417 BARBARA: Love? 167 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,250 No. 168 00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:32,375 There's no love. 169 00:08:32,458 --> 00:08:35,833 They bonded because of drugs. 170 00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:38,500 There's no way that that's going to end. 171 00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:42,000 It's just going to continue and get worse and worse. 172 00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:45,708 We have like an unspoken pact that no matter what, at the end 173 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,875 of the day, we're all we have. 174 00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:50,208 I like that. 175 00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:51,750 I just don't want my brother to die. 176 00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,958 [siren wailing] 177 00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:08,000 Yeah. 178 00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:17,833 Meth is like the first thing when I wake up in the morning 179 00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:22,292 sucks to think like that, but it's become like that, 180 00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:23,542 you know. 181 00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:26,500 Because if I don't have it, I feel 182 00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:29,667 as if I cannot do anything. 183 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,917 ERIKA: Looking for drugs, it's a daily struggle for us. 184 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,542 Call [bleep]. 185 00:09:34,542 --> 00:09:36,250 I'm sorry. 186 00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:37,667 The person you are trying to reach cannot come to the phone. 187 00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:38,500 How about [bleep]? 188 00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:39,375 Check Kurt or Stun. 189 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,792 Please, try again later. 190 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,833 Every day we spend our time, energy, and our-- 191 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,000 Money. 192 00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:46,833 --our money looking for the Meth. 193 00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:54,208 And it's disgusting, honestly. 194 00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:56,208 Hey, what's up, dude? 195 00:09:56,292 --> 00:09:57,083 Chillin'. 196 00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:58,792 Hey, I'm just-- 197 00:09:58,875 --> 00:10:02,833 I'm on my way to the scrapyard, but could I come see you? 198 00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:03,458 All right. 199 00:10:03,542 --> 00:10:05,375 Cool. 200 00:10:05,458 --> 00:10:07,583 All right. 201 00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,000 Does he sell like good stuff? 202 00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:10,000 Yeah. 203 00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:11,458 Yeah, yeah. 204 00:10:11,542 --> 00:10:13,208 JOEY: This is a desolate area. 205 00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:15,833 ERIKA: Dude, only the strong survive in the North Valley, 206 00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:16,917 bro. 207 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,750 So you guys stop it right here, 208 00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:20,917 and then I'm going to go up and park over there. 209 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,292 JOEY: Is that cool? Alright, cool. 210 00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:25,833 OK. is he going? 211 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,292 Hey, hey. 212 00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:28,250 I got to take my mic off. 213 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,500 I have to take mine off. - You do? 214 00:10:32,542 --> 00:10:33,292 Yeah. 215 00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:34,167 Why? 216 00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:35,875 Just because, dude, 217 00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:48,125 The cops get called like every five minutes. 218 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:51,375 I mean, recently, I know some guy got shot in his stomach. 219 00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:54,958 And his girlfriend, she got beat with an inch of her life 220 00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:58,250 and her heart ruptured because this guy stomped on her chest 221 00:10:58,333 --> 00:10:59,125 so much. 222 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,375 It's crazy. 223 00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:03,083 This place is scary and not good. 224 00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,417 I'm just thinking I'm in the worst situation. 225 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:06,292 I'm freaking out. 226 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,292 [Unintelligible] 227 00:11:20,542 --> 00:11:23,167 Over here, everybody is an addict. 228 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,625 The cops get called like every five minutes. 229 00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:28,042 I mean, this place is scary and not good. 230 00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:35,792 When I pick up the Meth, I get so excited because now, 231 00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:37,708 we can get high the whole day. 232 00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:39,375 We're cool. 233 00:11:39,458 --> 00:11:40,583 We're good. 234 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,667 We got it. 235 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,542 ERIKA: Got that for $20. 236 00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:51,667 It's really good. 237 00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:52,917 It's better than any other dope. 238 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,375 And it's the last of it. 239 00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:55,958 Yeah. 240 00:11:56,042 --> 00:12:00,000 And he can't get any more, so we're like yeah, thank you. 241 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:04,833 The agreement was we always used together. 242 00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:06,792 Just give it to me now, just give it to me. 243 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,750 You can wait. 244 00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,042 And I think that Joey uses a little more than I do. 245 00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:17,500 I think I do. 246 00:12:17,542 --> 00:12:18,833 It doesn't mean I'm worse or better. 247 00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:19,958 I didn't say that. 248 00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:28,125 Let's go. 249 00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:33,417 I feel like Joey and Erika have love for each other. 250 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:34,708 Addiction is lonely. 251 00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:38,583 And I'm sure that's nice to have each other. 252 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:42,292 But I don't know if they're in love. 253 00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:43,250 All right. 254 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:45,000 We're almost ready here. 255 00:12:45,042 --> 00:12:46,500 I'm kind of paranoid with that cop. 256 00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:47,958 Where? There ain't no-- 257 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:55,583 Our relationship consists of using drugs, a lot of drugs. 258 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:56,917 But not only drugs. 259 00:12:56,917 --> 00:12:59,000 We love to be together with our dogs. 260 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,583 It doesn't matter where we are. 261 00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,500 We still love to be with each other. 262 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,875 ERIKA: Right now, a friend is letting us rent 263 00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:18,083 out a shed in his backyard. 264 00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:22,000 This shed, we have been in for about a month. 265 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,917 For a year, almost, we were living 266 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,250 in my van in my grandma's on the side of her house 267 00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:29,625 until we got kicked out because grandma 268 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:31,500 doesn't really like Erika. 269 00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:35,708 Extension cord gives us heat and light, which is nice. 270 00:13:35,792 --> 00:13:37,208 Let's power it up. 271 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,583 It is very small. 272 00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:43,167 But it's like our little domain. 273 00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:46,750 Pictures on the walls gives it somewhat of a homey feeling. 274 00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:49,250 But it's never going to be a home. 275 00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:54,083 And a home is something I've always, always longed for. 276 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,833 KAREN: Erika was born here in the city of Albuquerque 277 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,833 and I had some complications with her 278 00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:01,792 so we were in the hospital several days. 279 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:05,167 But Erika's biological father partied the whole time 280 00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:08,083 I was laying in the hospital and drained our little bit 281 00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:09,750 of savings that we had. 282 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,667 So needless to say, that relationship 283 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,208 didn't last long after that. 284 00:14:14,292 --> 00:14:17,833 I left Erika's biological father when 285 00:14:17,917 --> 00:14:21,083 she was eight or nine days old and moved to Texas, 286 00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,583 where I met her stepfather. 287 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,583 And we started our lives together. 288 00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:31,375 I had Erika she was six months old, and he had his daughter, 289 00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:33,417 she was seven months old. 290 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:37,375 And together, we had two more children, a girl and a boy. 291 00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:45,208 ERIKA: When I was growing up, my mom and I were close. 292 00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:48,000 I remember when she'd be laying on the couch, 293 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,333 I would sit in like the curve of her legs. 294 00:14:50,417 --> 00:14:53,750 And it was my basket is what I called it. 295 00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:56,250 I remember trying on her clothes and like just 296 00:14:56,333 --> 00:15:00,208 wanting to be just like my mom. 297 00:15:00,292 --> 00:15:02,125 KAREN: Erika loved the outdoors. 298 00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:05,458 She collected everything from outside, spiders and frogs 299 00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:08,750 and geckos and just anything that she could find. 300 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:13,333 So we had to implement a no creatures in the house rule. 301 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,750 ERIKA: When I was growing up, I wanted to be a singer 302 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,792 because I could express myself. 303 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,167 Singing made me feel free. 304 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,000 KAREN: When Erica was 10 years old 305 00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:25,083 was really when our marriage started to fall apart. 306 00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,125 We definitely struggled financially. 307 00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:29,625 I was bartending, just trying to make money 308 00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,625 any possible way that I could. 309 00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:35,000 ERIKA: My mom and stepdad started fighting often. 310 00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:37,667 And it escalated. 311 00:15:37,792 --> 00:15:41,500 The first 10 years of our marriage were really great. 312 00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:43,667 And the last five years of our marriage 313 00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:45,667 was a lot like grinding metal. 314 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:47,667 Our marriage got very volatile. 315 00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:51,042 Erika heard and saw a lot more fighting and arguing 316 00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:55,792 and chaos than she should have. 317 00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:58,167 My siblings would come crawl in my bed 318 00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:01,500 and we would listen to them fight through the vents. 319 00:16:01,583 --> 00:16:04,542 And I would put my hands over their ears 320 00:16:04,625 --> 00:16:07,417 and I would tell them that it wasn't their fault. 321 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:11,375 I noticed that she changed, her crowd changed. 322 00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:14,250 She started running with older people. 323 00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:17,125 ERIKA: Around 12, I started drinking consistently. 324 00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:20,833 I was hanging out with people who were of legal age to buy. 325 00:16:20,917 --> 00:16:23,583 It was just readily available. 326 00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:26,292 KAREN: I certainly tried to pull the plug on that the best 327 00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:28,833 that I could, but she would sneak 328 00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:31,125 out whenever she wanted to. 329 00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:35,417 The first time I tried Meth, I was 14 with much older boys. 330 00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:39,333 My best friend hit the pipe, and I'm like, what is that? 331 00:16:39,417 --> 00:16:40,917 And she goes, don't worry about it. 332 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,500 Just hit it. 333 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,208 And I did. 334 00:16:43,292 --> 00:16:45,500 And I liked it a lot. 335 00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:49,375 It was a good feeling, which I wasn't used to. 336 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:51,208 Everything was falling apart. 337 00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:53,000 The house became chaos. 338 00:16:53,083 --> 00:16:56,250 So the summer before Erika started her sophomore year 339 00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:58,750 of high school, I called my parents 340 00:16:58,833 --> 00:17:02,000 and Erika went up to live with my parents in the mountains 341 00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:04,083 so that she could get a fresh start. 342 00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:08,250 Her mother knew that I did not approve of drugs. 343 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:11,000 So she figured that'd be a good environment for her. 344 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:13,125 ERIKA: My grandfather had a ranch that was huge. 345 00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:15,375 And we would be out there herding cattle 346 00:17:15,458 --> 00:17:17,167 or swimming in the horse chops. 347 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:19,208 It was a dream come true. 348 00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:22,167 NOBERT: Erika lived with us four or five years. 349 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,833 We were just one big happy family. 350 00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:26,250 ERIKA: I was done with Meth. 351 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,500 I didn't look for it. 352 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:28,292 I didn't buy it. 353 00:17:28,292 --> 00:17:30,458 I didn't look back. 354 00:17:30,542 --> 00:17:32,708 I wanted to go back to school to build 355 00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:35,208 a much better life for myself. 356 00:17:35,292 --> 00:17:38,500 I had a lot of hope for her during that time. 357 00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:39,875 ERIKA: I was 18. 358 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:44,333 And so after I graduated, I waited tables. 359 00:17:44,375 --> 00:17:46,417 I was a cocktail server or bartender. 360 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:57,500 On my 21st birthday, I got pregnant with my daughter. 361 00:17:57,625 --> 00:18:02,667 Becoming a mom was the best thing I never knew I needed. 362 00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:05,958 They put her in my arms and she looked up at me 363 00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:08,500 and got the biggest smile. 364 00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:12,000 That's a moment I will never forget. 365 00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:14,500 KAREN: When Erika's daughter was born, 366 00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:17,292 we had set her up in a really cute little apartment. 367 00:18:17,292 --> 00:18:23,833 She and daughter and daughter's dad were all living together. 368 00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:25,500 That didn't last very long. 369 00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:28,375 Erika and her daughter's dad were 370 00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:30,083 very, very volatile together. 371 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:33,917 He was just being relentlessly cold and 372 00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:36,292 mean and [bleep] and hurtful. 373 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:50,417 I came home one day and he had thrown all of my things 374 00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:52,292 and all of her things out in the front yard 375 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,792 and had already moved in his stripper 376 00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:56,708 girlfriend and her two kids. 377 00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:59,000 KAREN: At that point, they both were falling apart. 378 00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:02,583 And we all could clearly see that neither Erika 379 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:07,042 nor daddy were in any position to be having her daughter 380 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,250 full time. 381 00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:10,833 So when Erika's daughter was four, 382 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:13,292 and the other grandparents had asked us to meet, 383 00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:14,958 and that they felt very strongly that it 384 00:19:15,042 --> 00:19:17,833 was time for something to be done about Erika's daughter. 385 00:19:17,875 --> 00:19:21,292 They set my husband and myself down and said, 386 00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:25,667 you know, we need to take custody of the granddaughter. 387 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,542 And so we need to know are you going to fight us on this 388 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,583 or are you going to work with us on this? 389 00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:33,708 And my husband and I assured them that we were 390 00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:35,250 going to cooperate with them. 391 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:36,250 It was very firm. 392 00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:39,708 This is what's going to happen. 393 00:19:39,792 --> 00:19:42,833 At the time, I was struggling with depression. 394 00:19:42,917 --> 00:19:45,542 There was lots of alcohol. 395 00:19:45,625 --> 00:19:48,167 My only job as a mother is to protect my child 396 00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,875 even if that means from myself. 397 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,250 It's my alcoholism, I-- 398 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:53,958 I decided that I didn't have the family, 399 00:19:54,042 --> 00:19:57,292 the money, or the support that it takes to raise a child. 400 00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:09,542 It went to where I had Mother's Day weekend 401 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:13,333 and whatever could be agreed upon between the three of us, 402 00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:16,333 which has now turned into nothing. 403 00:20:16,417 --> 00:20:20,333 KAREN: When Erika finally lost custody, she really, 404 00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:22,417 really went off the rails. 405 00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:26,333 ERIKA: In my late 20s, my Meth use really became a problem 406 00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:28,333 because it was just easier to stay 407 00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:30,750 high to deal with everything. 408 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,625 KAREN: Not having her daughter in her life, 409 00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:35,083 that was the downfall and demise of Erika. 410 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,500 That was the left turn of her life. 411 00:20:37,542 --> 00:20:40,000 My daughter is 12 right now. 412 00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:42,000 And not being able to be there for 413 00:20:42,083 --> 00:20:45,458 her is heartbreaking for me. 414 00:20:45,542 --> 00:20:47,792 It has been almost three years since I've 415 00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:49,875 seen my daughter's face. 416 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,458 There's not a drug in the world that would hide that pain. 417 00:21:10,042 --> 00:21:12,167 When Joey goes over to see his mom, 418 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:15,542 he has no motivation to get right. 419 00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:19,167 She'll give him hell, but she'll do anything for him, you know. 420 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,000 But it always comes with a price. 421 00:21:21,042 --> 00:21:24,833 Because there is no predicting Bethann's actions. 422 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:27,375 And you sure as [bleep] don't want to set her off. 423 00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:29,542 So I keep my distance. 424 00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:31,833 JOEY: When I'm around my mom, I try to keep it light 425 00:21:31,917 --> 00:21:32,958 and keep it moving. 426 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,667 Less drama as I can, I guess. 427 00:21:40,542 --> 00:21:42,125 BETHANN: When Joey asks me for money, 428 00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:43,792 I don't always give him money. 429 00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:47,167 But I will always feed him and put gas in the car for him. 430 00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:49,125 Do I have enough gas in that car to get back? 431 00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:50,917 I said I'd give it you a few bucks, Joe. 432 00:21:51,042 --> 00:21:52,125 Thank you. 433 00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:53,750 I said I'd give you a few bucks. 434 00:21:53,833 --> 00:21:57,000 My relationship with my mom is she's more like a friend. 435 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,375 She's still my mom. 436 00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:01,625 I still give her that respect. 437 00:22:01,708 --> 00:22:06,250 But it's not the same as like a real mom 438 00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,833 because she's an addict in active addiction. 439 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:28,125 My mom, she's an addict in active addiction. 440 00:22:28,208 --> 00:22:30,417 I use drugs and alcohol because I 441 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:34,250 made a decision to relapse. 442 00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:38,375 I do not like where I'm at. 443 00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:44,333 I am living in a constant fight with myself. 444 00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:45,583 When I'm around my mom, you know, 445 00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:46,875 I'm not embarrassed of her. 446 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,583 Not-- yeah, kind of. 447 00:22:50,667 --> 00:22:55,125 But my childhood was like a whole different world. 448 00:22:55,208 --> 00:23:00,667 So smoking dope with my mom, I guess, that's normal for me. 449 00:23:00,708 --> 00:23:03,833 BETHANN: Joey was born in St. Paul, Minnesota. 450 00:23:03,958 --> 00:23:07,333 The whole time I was pregnant, I was absolutely sober. 451 00:23:07,417 --> 00:23:09,292 I remember holding Joey for the first time. 452 00:23:09,375 --> 00:23:15,000 And it was the most beautiful natural feeling in the world. 453 00:23:20,792 --> 00:23:27,333 Joey's father was in his life up until about six months. 454 00:23:27,417 --> 00:23:28,750 He was an alcoholic. 455 00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:31,000 So Joey's mother said, this is going 456 00:23:31,083 --> 00:23:32,750 to be a tough life so she left. 457 00:23:39,125 --> 00:23:40,667 We lived right by the lake. 458 00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:46,458 So we had rafts and we love to go in the lake with the dogs. 459 00:23:46,542 --> 00:23:48,625 When I was younger, I never had like a father figure 460 00:23:48,708 --> 00:23:50,958 in my life because there was constantly 461 00:23:51,042 --> 00:23:52,667 boyfriend after boyfriend. 462 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,417 BARBARA: They had a really cute little house. 463 00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:06,167 And Joey was so happy. 464 00:24:06,292 --> 00:24:08,708 CASSIDY: Growing up, my brother was 465 00:24:08,792 --> 00:24:11,667 like an idol, someone I really looked up to, 466 00:24:11,792 --> 00:24:15,125 and kind of my protector. 467 00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:19,667 BETHANN: After Cassidy was born, I was sober, nine months. 468 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:22,708 And then I relapsed on cocaine. 469 00:24:22,792 --> 00:24:26,000 And that was the first time I ever tried heroin. 470 00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:29,583 JOEY: As I grew older, my mom was just like heavily 471 00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:31,500 locked into her addiction. 472 00:24:31,542 --> 00:24:33,667 I always thought it was my fault, 473 00:24:33,792 --> 00:24:37,667 you know, like why she was neglecting me and my sister. 474 00:24:37,750 --> 00:24:40,417 And so mom was just kind of like never there 475 00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:42,542 when she was with my sister's dad. 476 00:24:42,625 --> 00:24:45,375 And then when they were, it was like he was physically 477 00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:47,708 abusive to me and my mom. 478 00:24:47,792 --> 00:24:51,625 Joey saw me get abused, punched, and kicked. 479 00:24:51,708 --> 00:24:56,042 And so he saw things that impacted his life. 480 00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:58,333 I would like go and try to help my mom 481 00:24:58,417 --> 00:25:00,583 or like stand up to him and he would 482 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:02,500 just beat the [bleep] out of me. 483 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,250 BETHANN: Joey was smacked in the face, 484 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:08,875 hard enough to leave a black and blue imprint on his face. 485 00:25:08,958 --> 00:25:11,583 Joey came to visit me and he had a black eye. 486 00:25:11,667 --> 00:25:14,542 And I immediately went to child protective services. 487 00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:23,625 Joey and Cassidy came back to live with me 488 00:25:23,708 --> 00:25:26,583 and he just loved it, making mud cakes 489 00:25:26,667 --> 00:25:29,167 and he would dress the dogs up. 490 00:25:29,250 --> 00:25:31,625 JOEY: When I went to my grandma's, she was awesome. 491 00:25:31,708 --> 00:25:33,333 She brought me to movies. 492 00:25:33,458 --> 00:25:34,958 She taught me responsibilities. 493 00:25:35,042 --> 00:25:39,292 And she basically was my mom and dad growing up. 494 00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:42,833 But I was resentful towards my mom for not being in my life. 495 00:25:42,917 --> 00:25:47,792 So I acted out a lot in school and like got suspended. 496 00:25:47,875 --> 00:25:50,375 And I started to get phone calls from the school 497 00:25:50,458 --> 00:25:53,083 that he is in a fight. 498 00:25:53,208 --> 00:25:58,417 And that's when he was really acting out because he felt OK, 499 00:25:58,500 --> 00:25:59,333 that's normal. 500 00:25:59,375 --> 00:26:01,542 He saw it growing up. 501 00:26:01,667 --> 00:26:04,833 My brother started hanging around with the wrong crowd. 502 00:26:04,875 --> 00:26:07,333 I think the biggest thing that I remember is when he tagged 503 00:26:07,417 --> 00:26:10,542 like a railroad box thing. 504 00:26:10,625 --> 00:26:13,125 They charged me with destruction of property 505 00:26:13,208 --> 00:26:14,750 on a federal thing. 506 00:26:14,875 --> 00:26:18,208 So I got 10 years, federal probation as a minor. 507 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,333 CASSIDY: As a little sister, it was 508 00:26:26,375 --> 00:26:28,375 hard for me seeing my big brother in 509 00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,250 and out of treatment centers. 510 00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:31,875 And I didn't understand why. 511 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,875 Like why is my brother not around. 512 00:26:34,958 --> 00:26:37,667 JOEY: Around 16, I tried meth for the first time. 513 00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:41,042 And I was up for a week. 514 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:44,417 It gave me this rush and this feeling of confidence 515 00:26:44,542 --> 00:26:46,375 like I could do anything. 516 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,083 It made me feel alive. 517 00:26:48,167 --> 00:26:52,250 BARBARA: When Joey was 17, I knew that this is not the place 518 00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:53,417 to raise Joey anymore. 519 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:54,958 I tried everything. 520 00:26:55,042 --> 00:26:58,167 But his mother, Bethann, was doing well in Minnesota. 521 00:26:58,208 --> 00:27:01,458 JOEY: My mom had found sobriety up there in St. Paul 522 00:27:01,542 --> 00:27:02,542 and so I knew it would be OK. 523 00:27:02,625 --> 00:27:04,000 So she got me a Greyhound ticket. 524 00:27:04,042 --> 00:27:06,583 And the next day, I was going up there. 525 00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,750 BETHANN: When Joey came to St. Paul, 526 00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:10,833 I introduced him to an AA meeting, 527 00:27:10,917 --> 00:27:13,667 and he really wanted to get clean. 528 00:27:13,750 --> 00:27:15,167 I went through the 12-step program. 529 00:27:15,250 --> 00:27:17,458 So I stayed with her in her little apartment. 530 00:27:17,542 --> 00:27:19,667 And I just stopped doing meth. 531 00:27:19,792 --> 00:27:23,333 And I was sober off meth for three years. 532 00:27:23,417 --> 00:27:26,458 BARBARA: In Joey's early 20s, he was very happy. 533 00:27:26,542 --> 00:27:29,833 And I was so proud of him because he was doing so well. 534 00:27:29,917 --> 00:27:32,833 And I worked a job as an overnight stock 535 00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:35,250 at a grocery store and had an apartment. 536 00:27:35,375 --> 00:27:36,625 Everything was good. 537 00:27:36,708 --> 00:27:39,375 But then as time goes on, people change, 538 00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:41,625 and you know, people relapse. 539 00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:43,208 One of my coworkers got high on meth. 540 00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:44,750 And so I was like, [bleep] this. 541 00:27:44,833 --> 00:27:46,167 I started using meth again. 542 00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:53,875 So Joey and I met actually in a treatment 543 00:27:53,958 --> 00:27:56,000 center 10 years ago. 544 00:27:56,125 --> 00:28:01,125 I had been using meth for about two years at that point. 545 00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:03,000 And after treatment, he reached out to me 546 00:28:03,083 --> 00:28:06,833 and we were both in the place where we were not trying 547 00:28:06,917 --> 00:28:08,333 to maintain our recovery. 548 00:28:08,417 --> 00:28:10,167 We started using immediately. 549 00:28:10,208 --> 00:28:14,708 And around that time, I found out I was pregnant. 550 00:28:14,792 --> 00:28:17,458 We made the decision that we were done. 551 00:28:17,542 --> 00:28:20,667 And we did stop using at that point. 552 00:28:20,708 --> 00:28:23,833 When Aubrey was born, Joey was there for the birth. 553 00:28:23,875 --> 00:28:25,250 He was able to cut the cord and be 554 00:28:25,375 --> 00:28:27,042 present for all those moments. 555 00:28:27,125 --> 00:28:28,750 JOEY: Holding Aubrey was awesome. 556 00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:30,833 Instantly fell in love with her. 557 00:28:30,875 --> 00:28:32,792 AMY: And I had this hope and this expectation 558 00:28:32,875 --> 00:28:36,292 that we would work on our relationship and be a family. 559 00:28:36,375 --> 00:28:38,792 I was feeling really positive about what 560 00:28:38,875 --> 00:28:40,250 the future could hold. 561 00:28:40,333 --> 00:28:42,917 But when he went back out and started using again, 562 00:28:43,042 --> 00:28:45,750 things got really complicated after that. 563 00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:48,708 We would make appointments to meet at a park. 564 00:28:48,792 --> 00:28:51,333 But over time, I had to stop telling Aubrey 565 00:28:51,458 --> 00:28:56,750 that we were going to see him because he wouldn't show up. 566 00:28:56,833 --> 00:28:59,833 JOEY: I don't like to be high or do the things I do 567 00:28:59,958 --> 00:29:01,708 and then like be around my kid. 568 00:29:01,792 --> 00:29:03,542 Like I can't do that. 569 00:29:03,667 --> 00:29:05,792 So I just didn't deal with it. 570 00:29:16,875 --> 00:29:20,167 I relapsed on meth with my son. 571 00:29:20,250 --> 00:29:23,292 And then as soon as that happened, he moved in my house 572 00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:29,000 and my house got totally invaded with everything and everyone. 573 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,458 My truck got stolen. 574 00:29:30,542 --> 00:29:32,833 I mean, it goes on and on. 575 00:29:32,917 --> 00:29:35,333 BARBARA: After Joey moved back with Bethann, 576 00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:38,875 Joey went really downhill fast. 577 00:29:38,875 --> 00:29:40,875 AMY: My worst fear with Joey is that he 578 00:29:40,875 --> 00:29:44,250 will die before establishing like that relationship 579 00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:45,750 with her. 580 00:29:45,833 --> 00:29:47,833 So every time that Joey and Aubrey are together, 581 00:29:47,917 --> 00:29:50,250 I'll take videos and pictures because I always 582 00:29:50,333 --> 00:29:52,625 have this fear like that this will be the last time 583 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:55,625 that they're together. 584 00:29:55,708 --> 00:30:00,917 She's nine and not being in my daughter's 585 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,667 life just fuels the addiction. 586 00:30:03,708 --> 00:30:05,375 It makes me want to numb out a little more. 587 00:30:05,458 --> 00:30:09,083 And now I can't like break out of that whole cycle of madness. 588 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,875 Well, do you have a couple of bucks or what? 589 00:30:14,958 --> 00:30:18,125 BETHANN: Why don't you ask grandma? 590 00:30:18,208 --> 00:30:19,750 Give me $10 so I can go get some-- 591 00:30:19,833 --> 00:30:21,583 I'm not giving you $10, Joey. 592 00:30:21,667 --> 00:30:23,208 This is what I have. 593 00:30:23,292 --> 00:30:24,583 No, I'm not. 594 00:30:24,708 --> 00:30:26,125 This is what I have. 595 00:30:26,208 --> 00:30:27,083 OK. 596 00:30:27,208 --> 00:30:28,208 OK. 597 00:30:28,292 --> 00:30:29,208 Not doing it, bro. 598 00:30:29,292 --> 00:30:30,208 All right. 599 00:30:30,333 --> 00:30:31,667 I'm going to take off then. - OK. 600 00:30:31,750 --> 00:30:33,167 You should clean your windows and stuff 601 00:30:33,208 --> 00:30:35,667 cause that's like terrible. 602 00:30:35,750 --> 00:30:37,625 Yeah. 603 00:30:37,708 --> 00:30:38,417 I'm tired. 604 00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:47,667 - Hello. - Hello. 605 00:30:47,708 --> 00:30:48,500 How are you? 606 00:30:48,583 --> 00:30:49,458 I'm good. 607 00:30:49,542 --> 00:30:50,833 How are you? - Good. 608 00:30:50,875 --> 00:30:51,708 Good. - Good to see you. 609 00:30:51,792 --> 00:30:53,042 You too. 610 00:30:53,042 --> 00:30:54,917 I've known Mary probably seven years. 611 00:30:55,042 --> 00:30:56,708 I'm grateful for Mary. 612 00:30:56,792 --> 00:30:59,500 She's really-- she's been my stone. 613 00:30:59,583 --> 00:31:00,708 MARY: So what's been going on? 614 00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:02,917 What have you guys been doing? 615 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,375 I don't know. 616 00:31:05,458 --> 00:31:07,667 We've been super broke. 617 00:31:07,708 --> 00:31:09,417 Have you guys been using? 618 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:10,792 Of course, we've been using. 619 00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:12,917 It's been less than usual. 620 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,125 Does that cause more friction? 621 00:31:15,208 --> 00:31:19,292 We bicker and fight more when we don't have anything. 622 00:31:19,375 --> 00:31:22,250 Like if we can get high, then we just kind of do our own thing 623 00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:23,750 and we're fine. We're content. 624 00:31:23,875 --> 00:31:25,333 Make the money and spend it on the dope. 625 00:31:25,417 --> 00:31:26,333 Yeah. 626 00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:27,292 Yep. 627 00:31:27,375 --> 00:31:29,458 Every bit of it. 628 00:31:29,542 --> 00:31:30,458 I love Joey. 629 00:31:30,542 --> 00:31:31,542 I do love Joey. 630 00:31:31,625 --> 00:31:33,500 But I'm moving forward. 631 00:31:33,542 --> 00:31:35,042 So where's Joey at now? 632 00:31:41,167 --> 00:31:43,583 Yeah. 633 00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:47,292 MARY: Joey is fine with the life Joey has been living. 634 00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:51,500 But Erika is wanting to grow and for both of them to get better. 635 00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:53,917 But Joey sees it that they just need to do what they've 636 00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:55,375 been doing and surviving. 637 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:58,708 And that may be what's dragging her down. 638 00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:00,333 ERIKA: I'm worried about him. 639 00:32:00,375 --> 00:32:02,333 He's a lifer. 640 00:32:02,417 --> 00:32:03,500 I know. 641 00:32:03,583 --> 00:32:07,833 You put all your faith in saving this man. 642 00:32:07,958 --> 00:32:09,500 I know you love him. 643 00:32:09,542 --> 00:32:11,167 Here's what I want to know. 644 00:32:11,292 --> 00:32:12,583 What, Mary? 645 00:32:12,667 --> 00:32:15,958 Does he want what you want? 646 00:32:16,042 --> 00:32:18,542 Being in a relationship and trying to get off drugs, 647 00:32:18,625 --> 00:32:21,458 you have to be on the same page and your journey. 648 00:32:21,542 --> 00:32:27,750 And I just hope we're on the same page. 649 00:32:27,833 --> 00:32:28,917 We are, babe. 650 00:32:53,625 --> 00:32:57,083 CASSIDY: My brother and Erika have love for each other. 651 00:32:57,167 --> 00:33:01,917 But because drugs are in the forefront, 652 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,500 they don't have any clarity. 653 00:33:04,542 --> 00:33:08,042 So it's hard to really see whether or not 654 00:33:08,167 --> 00:33:10,333 they're right for each other. 655 00:33:10,458 --> 00:33:13,250 Joey and I started dating about a year and a half ago 656 00:33:13,375 --> 00:33:14,625 and what a road it's been. 657 00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:19,750 We met on a dating site. 658 00:33:19,833 --> 00:33:22,708 I had just left an abusive relationship with nothing 659 00:33:22,792 --> 00:33:26,375 but a duffel bag of clothes and my dog on foot. 660 00:33:26,458 --> 00:33:29,000 I was really honestly looking for anyone that 661 00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:30,708 wanted to hang out that night. 662 00:33:30,833 --> 00:33:32,833 I just needed to get out of the house. 663 00:33:32,917 --> 00:33:34,458 I think that was it. 664 00:33:34,542 --> 00:33:37,250 I gave him my address and he came and picked me up. 665 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:40,208 He pulled up in a '92 Astro van. 666 00:33:40,208 --> 00:33:43,083 And you know, most girls, see a creeper van pull up 667 00:33:43,083 --> 00:33:44,542 and open the door, they're like, run. 668 00:33:44,667 --> 00:33:45,667 No, not me. 669 00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,208 I'm like, where's this going? 670 00:33:47,292 --> 00:33:49,167 KAREN: Erika was always the kind of daughter that 671 00:33:49,292 --> 00:33:51,000 has a boyfriend you don't want her to see, 672 00:33:51,042 --> 00:33:54,500 but you just can't keep her away. 673 00:33:54,542 --> 00:33:55,583 Yeah. 674 00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:56,625 Holy [bleep]. 675 00:33:56,708 --> 00:33:58,167 Whoa. 676 00:33:58,250 --> 00:34:02,125 We used Meth the first time we ever hung out. 677 00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:03,708 We snorted lines of it. 678 00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:06,083 And then like I went to-- we went to a guitar store 679 00:34:06,167 --> 00:34:07,625 and I played her some songs. 680 00:34:07,708 --> 00:34:12,250 And like we instantly fell in love with each other. 681 00:34:12,333 --> 00:34:14,125 Joey is a big enabler. 682 00:34:14,208 --> 00:34:20,000 So I knew that this is going to grow into a very strong drug 683 00:34:20,042 --> 00:34:22,125 addicted relationship. 684 00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,708 And that did happen. 685 00:34:24,792 --> 00:34:26,750 Our families have mixed emotions 686 00:34:26,875 --> 00:34:29,625 about us being together. 687 00:34:29,708 --> 00:34:31,167 My family, especially. 688 00:34:31,250 --> 00:34:33,000 They're resentful towards her. 689 00:34:33,083 --> 00:34:37,042 And they've always been like that. 690 00:34:37,125 --> 00:34:39,667 I was cool with Erika at first. 691 00:34:39,750 --> 00:34:42,875 But their relationship and their addiction 692 00:34:42,958 --> 00:34:45,583 together just became flames. 693 00:34:49,708 --> 00:34:51,583 BARBARA: Last summer, they were homeless. 694 00:34:51,667 --> 00:34:54,583 So Joey and Erika came to live with me. 695 00:34:54,667 --> 00:34:58,875 And they stayed out in his van right in front of my garage. 696 00:34:58,958 --> 00:35:00,417 They would get into fights. 697 00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,500 And the police were there all the time. 698 00:35:02,583 --> 00:35:06,167 And so my neighbors would complain because of the drug 699 00:35:06,208 --> 00:35:09,375 use and constant chaos. 700 00:35:09,458 --> 00:35:13,125 Erika was getting high on the side of my grandma's house. 701 00:35:13,208 --> 00:35:15,000 And so my grandma called the cops on her 702 00:35:15,042 --> 00:35:17,875 and made her get like leave the property. 703 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,542 I called the police. 704 00:35:19,667 --> 00:35:23,000 And she wouldn't even get out for the police. 705 00:35:23,083 --> 00:35:24,792 So they escorted her out. 706 00:35:24,875 --> 00:35:28,625 And that was the last she was allowed at my house. 707 00:35:28,708 --> 00:35:32,208 But then a week later, my landlord called me and said, 708 00:35:32,292 --> 00:35:34,250 you have 30 days to get out. 709 00:35:34,375 --> 00:35:37,917 So after 24 years in this house, I'm getting kicked 710 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,583 out because Erika was there. 711 00:35:45,208 --> 00:35:47,875 My family not liking Erika sucks. 712 00:35:47,958 --> 00:35:51,333 It means that I don't spend as much time with my grandma 713 00:35:51,417 --> 00:35:54,708 and I have to leave Erika for hours and hours 714 00:35:54,792 --> 00:35:58,250 alone, which has become this big problem for us. 715 00:36:01,167 --> 00:36:03,250 When Joey goes over there, I feel 716 00:36:03,333 --> 00:36:06,208 like he has one foot in each boat and his balls 717 00:36:06,292 --> 00:36:09,250 dangling in the water. 718 00:36:09,333 --> 00:36:12,333 I feel very betrayed, very hurt. 719 00:36:12,417 --> 00:36:14,250 He'll leave me in the car for hours, 720 00:36:14,333 --> 00:36:16,750 waiting on him just doing my jewelry. 721 00:36:16,833 --> 00:36:21,750 I spent Christmas Day alone in the car in Barbara's driveway. 722 00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:26,917 That was how I spent my Christmas just last year. 723 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,875 And it sucked. 724 00:36:29,958 --> 00:36:31,250 Hey, Grams. 725 00:36:31,333 --> 00:36:32,917 You be nice. 726 00:36:33,042 --> 00:36:34,000 Hi, kiddo. 727 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:34,833 What are you doing? 728 00:36:34,917 --> 00:36:35,667 How are you doing? 729 00:36:35,708 --> 00:36:37,083 Good. 730 00:36:37,208 --> 00:36:40,208 Joey will come to my house at least once a week 731 00:36:40,375 --> 00:36:43,292 and say, grandma, I need $20 for gas. 732 00:36:43,375 --> 00:36:45,500 And I said, well, what are you going to do for it? 733 00:36:45,542 --> 00:36:47,458 So you see the little pile of stuff? 734 00:36:47,542 --> 00:36:51,042 I can get little trash bags and we can put that in-- there's 735 00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:52,458 not that much pile. 736 00:36:52,542 --> 00:36:55,208 Grandmother helps me out in all ways possible. 737 00:36:55,292 --> 00:36:57,667 I'm really grateful for her not giving up on me. 738 00:36:57,750 --> 00:36:59,917 At this point she gave me a place 739 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,458 to live when I didn't have one. 740 00:37:01,542 --> 00:37:04,458 She gave me a car when mine broke down. 741 00:37:04,542 --> 00:37:07,708 How's everything else? 742 00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:09,625 All right. 743 00:37:09,708 --> 00:37:12,917 The batteries went dead, I think, on the car. 744 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,833 When Joey comes to my house now, 745 00:37:14,875 --> 00:37:16,875 it's a quick 5, 10 minutes. 746 00:37:16,958 --> 00:37:18,250 Grams, can I have $20? 747 00:37:18,375 --> 00:37:19,875 I said, well, go clean up the yard. 748 00:37:19,958 --> 00:37:22,167 He will quickly do that because he has to leave 749 00:37:22,250 --> 00:37:24,708 because Erika is up the street. 750 00:37:24,833 --> 00:37:29,125 And he can't leave her alone because he feels sorry for her. 751 00:37:29,208 --> 00:37:31,583 [guitar playing] 752 00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:37,792 I like when you do that, Joe. 753 00:37:37,875 --> 00:37:38,667 It's calming-- 754 00:37:38,708 --> 00:37:39,250 Thank you, Grams. 755 00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:40,792 --when you play. 756 00:37:40,875 --> 00:37:43,042 So is there anything else you want me to do 757 00:37:43,125 --> 00:37:45,500 so I can get a couple bucks? 758 00:37:45,667 --> 00:37:47,000 I just gave you 20 yesterday. 759 00:37:47,042 --> 00:37:48,000 I know. 760 00:37:48,083 --> 00:37:48,917 I put it in the gas tank. 761 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,792 Oh, my God. 762 00:37:50,875 --> 00:37:55,000 That's why I thought you were going to have me doing labor. 763 00:37:55,083 --> 00:37:56,833 There's not much to do, Joe. 764 00:37:56,958 --> 00:37:59,083 I mean, behind you is my purse. 765 00:37:59,208 --> 00:38:00,500 Bring it to me. 766 00:38:07,708 --> 00:38:09,500 I give him money because I don't 767 00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:13,333 want him stuck without gas anywhere knowing 768 00:38:13,375 --> 00:38:17,833 that it's not just gas, it's drugs included in that, 769 00:38:17,917 --> 00:38:19,500 and cigarettes. 770 00:38:19,583 --> 00:38:21,208 Because she can't go without a cigarette. 771 00:38:21,292 --> 00:38:22,500 All right. 772 00:38:22,583 --> 00:38:23,667 Well, then I'll see you on Wednesday. 773 00:38:23,708 --> 00:38:25,292 BARBARA: Give me a hug. Love you. 774 00:38:25,375 --> 00:38:26,208 - Love you too. - Do well. 775 00:38:26,208 --> 00:38:26,958 All right, Grams. 776 00:38:27,042 --> 00:38:28,167 Thanks. 777 00:38:28,167 --> 00:38:29,083 Thanks for helping. 778 00:38:29,167 --> 00:38:30,500 Yep. 779 00:38:30,583 --> 00:38:31,583 Come on. 780 00:38:31,708 --> 00:38:32,292 Love you, honey. 781 00:38:32,375 --> 00:38:34,000 Love you, too, Grams. 782 00:38:34,083 --> 00:38:35,708 My relationship with Grandma, I guess 783 00:38:35,792 --> 00:38:38,042 you could call it enabling, but she just 784 00:38:38,167 --> 00:38:41,375 never gave up belief in me in finding 785 00:38:41,458 --> 00:38:43,042 myself in recovery one day. 786 00:38:53,417 --> 00:38:55,083 My name is Ken Seeley. 787 00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:57,792 I am an interventionist, and I have been doing interventions 788 00:38:57,875 --> 00:39:00,375 for over 20 years. 789 00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:02,667 I was called to New Mexico because Erika 790 00:39:02,792 --> 00:39:06,333 and Joey are living in a shed in someone's backyard. 791 00:39:06,417 --> 00:39:08,792 That tells me that their addiction 792 00:39:08,875 --> 00:39:15,500 is so severe that they would go that far down to live that way. 793 00:39:15,667 --> 00:39:19,792 So today, I'm meeting with Karen, who is Erika's mother, 794 00:39:19,875 --> 00:39:24,167 to really dig down and find out what happened with Erika when 795 00:39:24,250 --> 00:39:25,583 she was younger. 796 00:39:25,667 --> 00:39:27,833 What are the things that will come 797 00:39:27,917 --> 00:39:30,583 out when I intervene on her and how 798 00:39:30,667 --> 00:39:33,333 can I really help Erika best. 799 00:39:33,417 --> 00:39:36,208 So how are you doing tonight? 800 00:39:36,333 --> 00:39:38,667 As well as can be expected. 801 00:39:38,708 --> 00:39:41,375 I mean, I'm ready to move forward, I think, 802 00:39:41,458 --> 00:39:43,250 fear of the unknown, and of course, the waiting. 803 00:39:43,333 --> 00:39:44,333 KEN SEELEY: Yeah. 804 00:39:44,375 --> 00:39:45,792 The waiting is the hardest part 805 00:39:45,875 --> 00:39:47,958 and running all the scenarios through my head. 806 00:39:48,042 --> 00:39:52,833 So I'm trying to unravel where the trauma was rooted 807 00:39:52,875 --> 00:39:55,208 in those early years, if there was something 808 00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:57,167 there that could have ignited. 809 00:39:57,208 --> 00:40:00,792 KAREN: Her dad and I definitely had a volatile relationship. 810 00:40:00,875 --> 00:40:03,708 She was probably exposed to a little more fighting and things 811 00:40:03,792 --> 00:40:05,458 like that as a young child. 812 00:40:05,542 --> 00:40:07,500 And so I really wasn't there as she needed me 813 00:40:07,625 --> 00:40:09,250 to be there during that time. 814 00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:11,875 That was probably the period of trauma 815 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,500 because that was when the family really just fell apart. 816 00:40:14,583 --> 00:40:18,250 The acting out, the unpredictability, the temper, 817 00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:20,375 I thought it was something that I could 818 00:40:20,458 --> 00:40:23,167 fix through a nurture avenue. 819 00:40:23,208 --> 00:40:28,333 Looking back, it's clear she suffered some emotional trauma. 820 00:40:28,375 --> 00:40:33,208 Trauma is just as devastating as a rape or a physical abuse 821 00:40:33,208 --> 00:40:35,250 because it's consistent. 822 00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:38,333 And there's always a fear of the unknown. 823 00:40:38,458 --> 00:40:40,000 Yeah. 824 00:40:40,042 --> 00:40:41,833 And she has a younger sister and a younger brother. 825 00:40:41,917 --> 00:40:42,750 Yeah. 826 00:40:42,833 --> 00:40:45,250 We lost my son in July of 2019. 827 00:40:45,333 --> 00:40:46,083 Wait a minute. 828 00:40:46,167 --> 00:40:47,083 You lost your son? 829 00:40:47,167 --> 00:40:48,792 Yes. 830 00:40:48,792 --> 00:40:52,458 Jacob passed away of an acute fentanyl overdose. 831 00:40:52,542 --> 00:40:54,250 ERIKA: Jacob and I had our own relationship 832 00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:55,542 and we were very close. 833 00:40:59,375 --> 00:41:00,167 Yeah. 834 00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:03,167 Jacob was a great kid. 835 00:41:03,208 --> 00:41:04,958 He never got in any trouble. 836 00:41:05,042 --> 00:41:06,167 And I mean, ever. 837 00:41:06,250 --> 00:41:08,000 Everybody that knew him loved him. 838 00:41:08,042 --> 00:41:10,792 So it was very shocking to me that perfectly 839 00:41:10,875 --> 00:41:14,917 healthy 22-year-old kid goes to sleep and doesn't wake up. 840 00:41:15,042 --> 00:41:18,167 Jacob was struggling with depression to a degree 841 00:41:18,292 --> 00:41:20,042 that none of us knew. 842 00:41:20,042 --> 00:41:23,542 Losing Jacob completely flip flopped my life. 843 00:41:23,625 --> 00:41:26,750 It was hard to handle, the grief. 844 00:41:26,833 --> 00:41:30,833 And that's when my drug use took off. 845 00:41:30,917 --> 00:41:34,167 So that was really what pushed Erika over the edge 846 00:41:34,208 --> 00:41:35,417 at that point. 847 00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:37,542 And she really went off the rails. 848 00:41:37,667 --> 00:41:40,500 And that was really when we kind of separated ways. 849 00:41:40,583 --> 00:41:44,333 After we lost my son, Erika's drinking and drug use 850 00:41:44,417 --> 00:41:47,500 became very extreme. 851 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,042 In her eyes, Jacob was perfect. 852 00:41:50,125 --> 00:41:53,083 She'll never admit this, but I really truly feel 853 00:41:53,167 --> 00:41:56,083 like she just wished it was me. 854 00:41:56,167 --> 00:42:00,375 Like it would be easier to accept that my drug addicted 855 00:42:00,458 --> 00:42:04,083 30-year-old daughter overdosed than 856 00:42:04,167 --> 00:42:06,958 my perfect 22-year-old son. 857 00:42:07,042 --> 00:42:10,042 And what was the last time you seen her? 858 00:42:10,125 --> 00:42:12,917 It was June of '21. 859 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:13,708 Wow. 860 00:42:13,792 --> 00:42:16,000 She just really became-- 861 00:42:16,083 --> 00:42:19,333 you know, she just dealt with it way differently than the rest 862 00:42:19,375 --> 00:42:20,958 of us in the family did. 863 00:42:21,042 --> 00:42:24,625 Erika's go to is to numb herself with drugs. 864 00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:27,542 So when her brother died, it was not surprising 865 00:42:27,625 --> 00:42:29,625 that things got out of control. 866 00:42:29,708 --> 00:42:33,667 So you lost your son and then she stopped seeing you also? 867 00:42:33,750 --> 00:42:35,333 Yes. 868 00:42:35,417 --> 00:42:37,500 So I lost two kids that day. 869 00:42:37,542 --> 00:42:38,417 Oh, my God. 870 00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:40,375 That's horrible. 871 00:42:40,458 --> 00:42:42,625 Yeah. 872 00:42:42,708 --> 00:42:44,792 It's not about Erika. 873 00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:46,625 It's about the family system. 874 00:42:46,708 --> 00:42:48,500 This is a family disease. 875 00:42:48,542 --> 00:42:50,958 And it affects everybody. 876 00:42:51,042 --> 00:42:53,292 So whenever she's around you, she just 877 00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:54,833 goes right back to the chaos. 878 00:42:54,875 --> 00:42:56,000 And she starts creating it. 879 00:42:56,042 --> 00:42:57,375 Yes. 880 00:42:57,458 --> 00:42:58,708 In order to break that cycle, she's 881 00:42:58,708 --> 00:43:00,917 going to have to go to treatment and deal 882 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,542 with those deep trauma issues. 883 00:43:02,542 --> 00:43:04,042 Yes. 884 00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:06,833 You know, and realize like what she's doing now 885 00:43:06,875 --> 00:43:08,458 isn't working. - No. 886 00:43:08,542 --> 00:43:10,250 KEN SEELEY: I mean, she's living in a shed. 887 00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:11,375 Yeah. 888 00:43:11,458 --> 00:43:12,833 That there's nowhere else to go. 889 00:43:12,917 --> 00:43:14,625 You can't lose any more than-- 890 00:43:14,708 --> 00:43:16,083 Yes, she can't lose anything else. 891 00:43:26,583 --> 00:43:30,125 My daughter will be over at my grandmother's today. 892 00:43:30,208 --> 00:43:32,250 Erika would like to meet her so she's 893 00:43:32,375 --> 00:43:34,833 angry about not being able to go over because it's 894 00:43:34,875 --> 00:43:36,667 an uncomfortable situation. 895 00:43:58,917 --> 00:44:01,208 It's hard for me because he is a big part 896 00:44:01,292 --> 00:44:02,375 of his family's life. 897 00:44:02,458 --> 00:44:04,375 And I don't know what that means. 898 00:44:04,458 --> 00:44:06,125 And I haven't for a very long time. 899 00:44:06,208 --> 00:44:10,167 So for me, to not fit in with his is-- 900 00:44:10,208 --> 00:44:13,708 that's another barrier in our relationship for sure. 901 00:44:25,208 --> 00:44:27,833 It's important to me to be able to meet his daughter. 902 00:44:27,917 --> 00:44:30,542 I've wanted to meet Aubrey for a long time now. 903 00:44:30,542 --> 00:44:33,750 But there's always next time. 904 00:44:47,917 --> 00:44:49,333 I'm sick about it today. 905 00:44:49,417 --> 00:44:51,500 It pisses me off. 906 00:44:51,583 --> 00:44:53,917 So it is what it is. 907 00:45:00,708 --> 00:45:03,208 [dog barking] 908 00:45:04,333 --> 00:45:06,000 BARBARA: Aubrey! 909 00:45:06,042 --> 00:45:06,833 Hey! 910 00:45:06,917 --> 00:45:08,000 Lord, help me here. 911 00:45:08,042 --> 00:45:09,292 [dog barks] 912 00:45:09,375 --> 00:45:10,167 CHILD: I'm not. 913 00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:11,417 JOEY: Whats up! 914 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:13,667 BARBARA: Long ago, Amy was on drugs. 915 00:45:13,750 --> 00:45:16,250 And then when she found out she was pregnant, 916 00:45:16,375 --> 00:45:18,667 she immediately went into rehab. 917 00:45:18,708 --> 00:45:20,792 And she's doing fantastic. 918 00:45:20,875 --> 00:45:24,500 And I'm very happy to say she allows Joey to be 919 00:45:24,583 --> 00:45:26,500 part of his daughter's life. 920 00:45:26,583 --> 00:45:27,917 And he adores her. 921 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,375 So that's your pup? 922 00:45:29,458 --> 00:45:30,750 AMY: How are you? 923 00:45:30,833 --> 00:45:31,542 SAM: Look at her. 924 00:45:31,625 --> 00:45:32,625 Yeah. 925 00:45:32,708 --> 00:45:33,500 Yeah. 926 00:45:33,625 --> 00:45:34,333 BARBARA: Hi. 927 00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:35,333 Hi little one. 928 00:45:35,417 --> 00:45:36,083 Welcome. 929 00:45:39,208 --> 00:45:40,667 I love my daughter. 930 00:45:40,750 --> 00:45:42,333 And I just want our relationship to be close. 931 00:45:42,458 --> 00:45:46,250 Like I want to show her music and art in an early age 932 00:45:46,333 --> 00:45:48,708 so she could have those things ingrained in her. 933 00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:54,250 Joey, of course, is great at music and guitar, 934 00:45:54,333 --> 00:45:56,542 but he's really good with children. 935 00:45:56,542 --> 00:45:58,167 - Are you still skateboarding? - No. 936 00:45:58,250 --> 00:45:59,083 Why? 937 00:45:59,167 --> 00:46:00,167 I don't know. 938 00:46:00,208 --> 00:46:01,583 You should stick with something 939 00:46:01,667 --> 00:46:03,750 and always stay with it. 940 00:46:03,833 --> 00:46:05,375 When we got pregnant, I was really 941 00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:08,500 excited because I had a lot of hopes about the kind of dad 942 00:46:08,583 --> 00:46:09,667 that he would be. 943 00:46:09,750 --> 00:46:11,333 So in the summertime, you better 944 00:46:11,417 --> 00:46:15,167 start skating again because you were doing cool tricks. 945 00:46:15,208 --> 00:46:18,667 I never thought that I'd be able to be a good father figure 946 00:46:18,708 --> 00:46:20,833 because I'm supposed to be a good influence. 947 00:46:20,875 --> 00:46:23,583 And I'm just an active addiction and I 948 00:46:23,667 --> 00:46:26,333 can't like break out of that. 949 00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:27,500 Great. 950 00:46:27,583 --> 00:46:28,333 Cindy. 951 00:46:28,417 --> 00:46:29,708 [gasps] 952 00:46:29,708 --> 00:46:31,500 CASSIDY: Oh, my god, what was that? 953 00:46:31,583 --> 00:46:32,250 Come here. 954 00:46:32,375 --> 00:46:33,208 Come here. 955 00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:34,375 [kissing sounds] 956 00:46:40,375 --> 00:46:44,167 It's rough because Joey can be very thoughtless. 957 00:46:44,250 --> 00:46:48,333 It drives me nuts because I get frustrated easily. 958 00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:49,417 Mama's got a short fuse. 959 00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:55,250 There's something about Joey that just makes 960 00:46:55,375 --> 00:47:00,292 you want to squeeze his cheeks and punch him in the face, 961 00:47:00,375 --> 00:47:01,042 you know. 962 00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:06,708 Oh, these are cute. 963 00:47:06,708 --> 00:47:08,250 Are you ready? 964 00:47:08,333 --> 00:47:10,333 My daughter calls me, Facetimes me all the time. 965 00:47:10,417 --> 00:47:14,833 And sometimes, I will be in a conflict with Erika, 966 00:47:14,917 --> 00:47:17,333 or I will be getting high. 967 00:47:17,458 --> 00:47:18,917 And I just-- 968 00:47:19,042 --> 00:47:20,833 I won't answer the phone and that 969 00:47:20,958 --> 00:47:23,458 is the worst thing about my addiction, 970 00:47:23,542 --> 00:47:26,917 I guess, that I could say it makes me sick to my stomach. 971 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:30,958 But it's better for her than like be high around my kid. 972 00:47:36,958 --> 00:47:38,958 Eat it even if you feel dirt in it. 973 00:47:39,042 --> 00:47:43,667 To have all of us here is very special. 974 00:47:43,708 --> 00:47:44,875 I love Amy. 975 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,042 She changed her whole life around. 976 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,208 Is Erika here? 977 00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:58,750 [bleep] it. 978 00:47:58,833 --> 00:48:00,958 No, shut it off. 979 00:48:01,875 --> 00:48:02,625 Oh, no. 980 00:48:02,708 --> 00:48:04,167 Oh, no. 981 00:48:04,250 --> 00:48:05,667 I'm going to pack up my [bleep] and I'm going to find 982 00:48:05,750 --> 00:48:07,375 somewhere to [bleep] live. 983 00:48:07,375 --> 00:48:08,958 He's lazy. 984 00:48:09,042 --> 00:48:11,125 He's not a man's man. 985 00:48:11,208 --> 00:48:12,958 I want to hear the ultimatums. 986 00:48:13,042 --> 00:48:14,833 Everybody lied to me the whole [bleep] time. 987 00:48:20,208 --> 00:48:22,000 We've been living a dark life for a long time. 988 00:48:22,083 --> 00:48:24,167 It's what we know. 989 00:48:24,250 --> 00:48:27,833 Our relationship consists of a lot of drugs. 990 00:48:27,917 --> 00:48:31,000 Joey and I are addicted to methamphetamine. 991 00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:33,000 KAREN: Erika was always the kind of daughter that 992 00:48:33,083 --> 00:48:34,833 has a boyfriend you don't want her to see, 993 00:48:34,917 --> 00:48:37,167 but you just can't keep her away. 994 00:48:37,292 --> 00:48:39,458 Our families have mixed emotions 995 00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:40,333 about us being together. 996 00:48:40,375 --> 00:48:41,250 No. 997 00:48:41,333 --> 00:48:42,125 There's no love. 998 00:48:42,208 --> 00:48:44,167 They bonded because of drugs. 999 00:48:44,208 --> 00:48:48,333 CASSIDY: Their addiction together just became flames. 1000 00:48:48,375 --> 00:48:52,667 Their addiction is so severe that they are living in a shed 1001 00:48:52,708 --> 00:48:55,167 in someone's back yard. 1002 00:48:55,250 --> 00:48:58,042 My mom is more like a friend because she's 1003 00:48:58,125 --> 00:48:59,583 an addict in active addiction. 1004 00:48:59,667 --> 00:49:02,125 We bicker and fight when we don't have anything. 1005 00:49:06,042 --> 00:49:09,333 He lost their son and then she stopped seeing you also? 1006 00:49:09,417 --> 00:49:10,875 Yes. 1007 00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:13,458 Erika was getting high at my grandma's house. 1008 00:49:13,542 --> 00:49:15,167 And so my grandma called the cops on her. 1009 00:49:15,250 --> 00:49:18,292 And that was the last she was allowed at my house. 1010 00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:29,292 Is Erika here? 1011 00:49:33,917 --> 00:49:35,417 [bleep] it. 1012 00:49:35,542 --> 00:49:36,833 I don't care. 1013 00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:38,208 No, shut it off. 1014 00:49:46,042 --> 00:49:49,042 I'm not really sure why I'm so hated 1015 00:49:49,167 --> 00:49:52,083 or disliked over at Barbara's. 1016 00:49:52,167 --> 00:49:55,375 But I could honestly, at this point in my life, 1017 00:49:55,458 --> 00:49:57,708 give a [bleep] who's in it or not. 1018 00:49:57,833 --> 00:49:59,333 Amy, would you like to meet Erika? 1019 00:49:59,417 --> 00:50:00,583 - Yeah. - OK. 1020 00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:02,500 - Should we go meet Erika? - How about you, Aubrey? 1021 00:50:02,542 --> 00:50:04,000 - Yeah. - Cool. 1022 00:50:04,042 --> 00:50:05,542 We'll go meet her over there, huh? 1023 00:50:05,667 --> 00:50:06,375 Sam. 1024 00:50:10,958 --> 00:50:11,667 How are you? 1025 00:50:11,750 --> 00:50:12,917 Good. 1026 00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,167 I'm Amy. - Erika. 1027 00:50:14,250 --> 00:50:14,958 Nice to meet you. 1028 00:50:15,042 --> 00:50:16,208 Hi, Aubrey. 1029 00:50:16,208 --> 00:50:18,917 Nice to meet you. 1030 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,542 This is my husband, Sam, and our baby. 1031 00:50:21,625 --> 00:50:22,500 Nice to meet you. 1032 00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:25,042 Nice to meet you as well. 1033 00:50:25,167 --> 00:50:28,000 I would love for Aubrey to be able to experience 1034 00:50:28,083 --> 00:50:31,000 like that fatherly relationship with Joey. 1035 00:50:31,042 --> 00:50:33,333 But it's kind of at arm's length. 1036 00:50:33,417 --> 00:50:36,167 But the conversation is always there. 1037 00:50:36,208 --> 00:50:38,667 These two are like they've known each other forever. 1038 00:50:38,792 --> 00:50:39,542 It's crazy. 1039 00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:44,125 Your dad and Joey's. 1040 00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:45,500 Your dad and your dad. 1041 00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:46,458 Yeah. 1042 00:50:46,542 --> 00:50:47,250 Yeah. 1043 00:50:53,500 --> 00:50:55,417 AMY: It's a win-win. 1044 00:50:55,500 --> 00:50:57,333 ERIKA: Joey's daughter is very lucky 1045 00:50:57,333 --> 00:51:01,417 that she's got a stepdad in her life that is good and is sober 1046 00:51:01,542 --> 00:51:05,667 and is open to her having a relationship with Joe. 1047 00:51:05,750 --> 00:51:07,417 I envy it, honestly. 1048 00:51:07,542 --> 00:51:10,042 Because what I would give to look down and see my daughter. 1049 00:51:13,458 --> 00:51:14,625 Oh, oh, wait. 1050 00:51:14,708 --> 00:51:15,833 I got something for you. 1051 00:51:15,875 --> 00:51:17,417 Yeah. 1052 00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:18,125 Let's see. 1053 00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,958 Erika made this for you. 1054 00:51:20,042 --> 00:51:21,458 It's cool because it's like a heart 1055 00:51:21,542 --> 00:51:23,125 and there's gold in there. It's a gold. 1056 00:51:23,208 --> 00:51:23,875 Oh, my gosh. 1057 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,375 That's super cool. 1058 00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:27,500 ERIKA: It came from the mountain right up here. 1059 00:51:27,542 --> 00:51:28,833 SAM: Oh, that's awesome. - What do you think? 1060 00:51:28,917 --> 00:51:29,833 Thank you. 1061 00:51:29,875 --> 00:51:30,708 That's awesome. 1062 00:51:30,792 --> 00:51:32,208 I hope you like it. 1063 00:51:32,292 --> 00:51:33,667 That's super special. 1064 00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:34,500 Yeah. 1065 00:51:34,583 --> 00:51:36,333 That's so cool. 1066 00:51:36,417 --> 00:51:38,667 Being able to meet up with Joey's daughter, 1067 00:51:38,708 --> 00:51:40,500 I'm grateful for that. 1068 00:51:40,542 --> 00:51:43,208 Because I have put a lot of time and energy 1069 00:51:43,292 --> 00:51:46,167 and effort and love and heart and soul 1070 00:51:46,292 --> 00:51:48,750 into this relationship. 1071 00:51:48,833 --> 00:51:51,833 And I don't want to see it just go to [bleep]. 1072 00:51:56,250 --> 00:51:57,125 Give me a hug, dude. 1073 00:51:57,208 --> 00:51:58,500 I get it. 1074 00:51:58,542 --> 00:51:59,667 - Give me a good hug too. - Bye, bye. 1075 00:51:59,792 --> 00:52:00,708 You guys be safe tonight. 1076 00:52:19,375 --> 00:52:21,583 Right now, our bodies hurt. 1077 00:52:21,708 --> 00:52:23,167 Our brains hurt. 1078 00:52:23,292 --> 00:52:27,625 It's a withdrawal from meth because Joey and I are out. 1079 00:52:27,708 --> 00:52:30,542 And we're definitely going to need some. 1080 00:52:30,708 --> 00:52:32,167 Like I need to get high. 1081 00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:34,125 I know you're going to go in there and smoke, [bleep]. 1082 00:52:34,208 --> 00:52:35,250 No I'm not. 1083 00:52:36,250 --> 00:52:37,667 I've got [bleep] to do. 1084 00:52:38,042 --> 00:52:39,792 Whoa, Joe! 1085 00:52:41,792 --> 00:52:44,417 [bleep]. 1086 00:52:44,542 --> 00:52:45,250 [bleep] you. 1087 00:52:45,333 --> 00:52:46,375 I hate how you drive. 1088 00:52:51,167 --> 00:52:54,167 When we don't have it, we fight. 1089 00:52:54,250 --> 00:52:57,333 We say hurtful hateful things. 1090 00:52:57,417 --> 00:52:58,125 Yeah. 1091 00:53:42,875 --> 00:53:44,792 Here. 1092 00:53:44,875 --> 00:53:47,250 Come here. 1093 00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:49,875 Addiction brings a lot of issues for us. 1094 00:53:49,958 --> 00:53:52,417 Honestly, I never thought that my body would 1095 00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:55,583 be physically dependent on it. 1096 00:53:55,667 --> 00:53:57,083 And it sucks. 1097 00:53:57,167 --> 00:53:57,917 It really sucks. 1098 00:54:03,667 --> 00:54:05,917 I got it. 1099 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,333 Not a care in the world. 1100 00:54:09,250 --> 00:54:11,375 KEN SEELEY: Good to see you again. 1101 00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:13,667 How are you all doing? 1102 00:54:13,708 --> 00:54:15,750 Ready for this? 1103 00:54:15,833 --> 00:54:18,083 So I'm glad you're all here together. 1104 00:54:18,167 --> 00:54:21,500 Tomorrow is the intervention, so we're getting prepared for it 1105 00:54:21,542 --> 00:54:23,708 because this is going to be a big one. 1106 00:54:23,875 --> 00:54:27,333 We're bringing in two family systems that are split. 1107 00:54:27,458 --> 00:54:30,000 So the difference is there, make it complicated. 1108 00:54:30,083 --> 00:54:33,417 But we're going to show them when they walk in that door 1109 00:54:33,542 --> 00:54:35,375 that it's a united front. 1110 00:54:35,458 --> 00:54:37,292 And you guys all met Erika, right? 1111 00:54:37,625 --> 00:54:39,125 I just met her last night. KEN SEELEY: You just met her. 1112 00:54:39,208 --> 00:54:40,000 OK. 1113 00:54:40,083 --> 00:54:41,208 Have you met Joey? 1114 00:54:41,292 --> 00:54:42,333 I have not met Joey. 1115 00:54:42,417 --> 00:54:43,667 KEN SEELEY: You haven't met Joey. 1116 00:54:43,792 --> 00:54:45,083 I know Joey well. 1117 00:54:45,208 --> 00:54:46,083 KEN SEELEY: Oh, you do? 1118 00:54:46,208 --> 00:54:47,167 Yeah. 1119 00:54:47,250 --> 00:54:48,625 He's lazy. 1120 00:54:48,625 --> 00:54:52,000 And he brags on himself a lot. 1121 00:54:52,042 --> 00:54:55,250 He's not a man's man. 1122 00:54:58,292 --> 00:55:02,542 I think he took her down more than he helped her. 1123 00:55:02,625 --> 00:55:05,667 KEN SEELEY: There's a lot of conflict 1124 00:55:05,792 --> 00:55:09,167 because families start blaming the other one. 1125 00:55:09,167 --> 00:55:12,708 We're not going to live in the past attacking each other. 1126 00:55:12,792 --> 00:55:16,000 Moving forward, what I really see here 1127 00:55:16,125 --> 00:55:18,458 is two families really hurting. 1128 00:55:18,542 --> 00:55:22,500 The reality here is this isn't either one of their faults. 1129 00:55:22,625 --> 00:55:25,125 Crystal meth has taken over a lot of people, 1130 00:55:25,208 --> 00:55:26,792 destroying their lives. 1131 00:55:26,875 --> 00:55:30,333 I don't know if you heard of meth psychosis. 1132 00:55:30,417 --> 00:55:33,292 Sometimes their brains don't come back. 1133 00:55:33,375 --> 00:55:34,750 KAREN: Oh, I do worry about that. 1134 00:55:34,833 --> 00:55:36,708 And is she ever going to come back? 1135 00:55:36,792 --> 00:55:38,000 KEN SEELEY: Yeah. 1136 00:55:38,042 --> 00:55:39,500 With all the years that she's been doing it, 1137 00:55:39,583 --> 00:55:41,292 I worry about that a lot. 1138 00:55:41,375 --> 00:55:43,292 BARBARA: My daughter goes on and on, 1139 00:55:43,375 --> 00:55:45,167 and this happened, and that happened, and oh, 1140 00:55:45,208 --> 00:55:46,250 my God, they had a fight. 1141 00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:47,958 And this is Joey's mom? 1142 00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:49,167 Yeah. 1143 00:55:49,250 --> 00:55:50,292 Oh, my. 1144 00:55:50,375 --> 00:55:51,542 I have to deal with that. 1145 00:55:51,667 --> 00:55:52,833 She's 55. 1146 00:55:52,917 --> 00:55:55,375 I've been dealing with this since she's 15. 1147 00:55:55,458 --> 00:55:57,083 She's 55. 1148 00:55:57,167 --> 00:55:58,833 So you got 40 years. 1149 00:55:58,875 --> 00:56:00,500 Yeah. 1150 00:56:00,625 --> 00:56:03,292 KEN SEELEY: The unsettledness is just so 1151 00:56:03,417 --> 00:56:05,833 draining, mentally, physically. 1152 00:56:05,958 --> 00:56:09,500 It just takes a toll on people that love loved ones that 1153 00:56:09,583 --> 00:56:11,708 are out there in this disease. 1154 00:56:11,708 --> 00:56:13,667 The cloud of chaos is what I call it. 1155 00:56:13,750 --> 00:56:15,958 No matter where you go, it's just a cloud of chaos. 1156 00:56:16,042 --> 00:56:17,375 CASSIDY: I call it a tornado. 1157 00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:19,583 KEN SEELEY: You guys talking about that chaos. 1158 00:56:19,583 --> 00:56:22,375 I appreciate that you're able to connect at that level 1159 00:56:22,458 --> 00:56:24,667 and talk about it because these are things 1160 00:56:24,708 --> 00:56:27,167 that you usually like to keep private, right? 1161 00:56:27,250 --> 00:56:28,250 BARBARA: Well, it's shameful. 1162 00:56:28,333 --> 00:56:29,542 Shameful. 1163 00:56:29,667 --> 00:56:31,833 I mean, the problem is I can't let go. 1164 00:56:31,917 --> 00:56:34,042 Like when my daughter's here, I can't say, 1165 00:56:34,125 --> 00:56:35,167 you're not coming here anymore. 1166 00:56:35,250 --> 00:56:36,125 Oh. 1167 00:56:36,208 --> 00:56:38,833 I can't do that. 1168 00:56:38,875 --> 00:56:41,083 A lot of the things that are happening right now, 1169 00:56:41,167 --> 00:56:46,208 the enabling that's happening is keeping them both sick. 1170 00:56:46,292 --> 00:56:47,792 Putting your boundaries into place 1171 00:56:47,875 --> 00:56:50,583 is really good to protecting yourself. 1172 00:56:50,667 --> 00:56:52,625 You are able to do it three years ago. 1173 00:56:52,708 --> 00:56:53,708 Yeah. 1174 00:56:53,708 --> 00:56:56,333 I mean, everything comes at a cost. 1175 00:56:56,417 --> 00:56:57,667 KEN SEELEY: Yeah. 1176 00:56:57,708 --> 00:56:59,500 Setting those boundaries, unfortunately, 1177 00:56:59,542 --> 00:57:02,625 one of the casualties was my relationship with Erika. 1178 00:57:02,708 --> 00:57:03,917 And that was her choice. 1179 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,000 That was absolutely her choice, yeah. 1180 00:57:06,083 --> 00:57:09,083 And that's where you have to look at it, moving forward. 1181 00:57:09,208 --> 00:57:13,583 So tomorrow, we're going to do Erika and Joey's intervention 1182 00:57:13,667 --> 00:57:15,958 first because we want to get them on the road 1183 00:57:16,042 --> 00:57:17,375 and to the airport. 1184 00:57:17,458 --> 00:57:19,583 We're going to wait and do Bethann's intervention 1185 00:57:19,708 --> 00:57:23,750 after we do Joey and Erika's because her addiction is 1186 00:57:23,875 --> 00:57:26,500 so unstable, she could sabotage it. 1187 00:57:26,542 --> 00:57:28,500 We can't take any chances. 1188 00:57:28,583 --> 00:57:31,000 So Bethann isn't going to be a part of Joey 1189 00:57:31,125 --> 00:57:33,167 and Erika's intervention. 1190 00:57:33,292 --> 00:57:35,542 We don't know what your daughter's is going to be like. 1191 00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:37,500 We might be chasing her around town. 1192 00:57:37,542 --> 00:57:39,417 Oh, my God. 1193 00:57:39,500 --> 00:57:41,583 Now let's get down to what we need to do. 1194 00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:43,292 Like how are we going to change this. 1195 00:57:43,375 --> 00:57:45,000 And that would be bottom lines. 1196 00:57:45,125 --> 00:57:47,417 And what your bottom lines are going to be. 1197 00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:49,208 What are the things that you're going to take 1198 00:57:49,292 --> 00:57:51,125 away from Joey tomorrow? 1199 00:57:51,208 --> 00:57:51,917 That car. 1200 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,000 I don't know. 1201 00:57:53,083 --> 00:57:54,250 He has it probably up there. 1202 00:57:54,375 --> 00:57:55,833 They use it. 1203 00:57:55,917 --> 00:57:59,000 I'll have to call the police and say it was stolen. 1204 00:57:59,083 --> 00:58:00,167 I will write that. 1205 00:58:00,208 --> 00:58:02,250 That'll be in my letter. 1206 00:58:02,375 --> 00:58:03,292 OK. 1207 00:58:03,375 --> 00:58:06,458 So that's the bottom line. 1208 00:58:06,542 --> 00:58:07,833 This is a chance-- 1209 00:58:07,917 --> 00:58:08,667 KAREN: Barbara, I know that I just met you, 1210 00:58:08,708 --> 00:58:09,833 but I know you're ready. 1211 00:58:09,875 --> 00:58:10,833 I can tell. 1212 00:58:10,917 --> 00:58:12,458 I'm done. 1213 00:58:12,542 --> 00:58:14,958 And I mean it. 1214 00:58:15,042 --> 00:58:17,042 Good for you. 1215 00:58:17,167 --> 00:58:18,667 How would that work for grandpa? 1216 00:58:18,750 --> 00:58:21,833 If Erica's not in recovery, then 1217 00:58:21,917 --> 00:58:23,500 she can't come to your house. 1218 00:58:23,542 --> 00:58:25,375 We can't give her anything. 1219 00:58:25,458 --> 00:58:28,167 She could only call you if she's in recovery. 1220 00:58:28,250 --> 00:58:29,750 Might motivate her because you're 1221 00:58:29,833 --> 00:58:34,708 the last straw that she has, that family link through you. 1222 00:58:34,792 --> 00:58:36,000 Are you willing to do that? 1223 00:58:42,375 --> 00:58:43,458 If that's what it takes. 1224 00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:53,500 Let's go. 1225 00:58:57,167 --> 00:58:57,917 Oh, no. 1226 00:58:58,042 --> 00:58:58,750 Oh, no. 1227 00:59:02,375 --> 00:59:03,875 Ah. 1228 00:59:03,958 --> 00:59:05,583 Joey, and we can't get a jump. 1229 00:59:30,583 --> 00:59:33,208 I definitely have my emotional ups and downs. 1230 00:59:49,125 --> 00:59:50,250 I'm done. 1231 00:59:50,375 --> 00:59:51,667 I can't do it anymore. 1232 00:59:51,750 --> 00:59:54,708 This is not a life. 1233 00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:56,208 Not one that I want to live at least. 1234 01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,333 KEN SEELEY: All right. 1235 01:00:06,417 --> 01:00:09,375 When they come in, I don't want us all to be sitting here 1236 01:00:09,458 --> 01:00:11,042 because that'll scare them. 1237 01:00:11,125 --> 01:00:14,125 So everybody, get up, give them a hug. 1238 01:00:14,208 --> 01:00:15,708 I'll introduce myself. 1239 01:00:15,792 --> 01:00:18,708 You know, if they start running down the streets, 1240 01:00:18,833 --> 01:00:20,667 you're going to follow them. 1241 01:00:24,542 --> 01:00:27,500 KAREN: That would leave her any other option but to take this. 1242 01:00:27,542 --> 01:00:28,375 Good morning. 1243 01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:29,292 How are you? 1244 01:00:29,375 --> 01:00:30,083 Good morning. 1245 01:00:32,292 --> 01:00:34,292 KEN SEELEY: But once she realize grandpa shut down, 1246 01:00:34,375 --> 01:00:37,375 you're shut down, but there's this beautiful place 1247 01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:40,208 in California that's waiting for her. 1248 01:00:40,292 --> 01:00:43,250 And then when she comes home, she has all of you. 1249 01:00:50,792 --> 01:00:51,708 KEN SEELEY: Yes. 1250 01:00:55,375 --> 01:00:57,125 Stand up now. 1251 01:00:57,208 --> 01:00:58,000 Yeah. 1252 01:00:58,042 --> 01:00:59,167 There you go. 1253 01:00:59,333 --> 01:01:01,458 We're going to be the first people they see. 1254 01:01:01,542 --> 01:01:02,292 That's good enough. 1255 01:01:07,333 --> 01:01:09,708 [suspenseful music] 1256 01:01:18,542 --> 01:01:19,333 Oh. 1257 01:01:19,417 --> 01:01:20,250 Oh, hello. 1258 01:01:20,333 --> 01:01:21,292 Hi. 1259 01:01:21,375 --> 01:01:22,292 Oh, [bleep]. 1260 01:01:22,375 --> 01:01:23,375 Hello. 1261 01:01:23,458 --> 01:01:24,333 Hello. 1262 01:01:24,375 --> 01:01:26,167 ERIKA: What the [bleep]? 1263 01:01:26,292 --> 01:01:27,042 Welcome. 1264 01:01:29,542 --> 01:01:30,292 Hey. 1265 01:01:38,167 --> 01:01:39,042 And we met. 1266 01:01:44,792 --> 01:01:45,667 Hey, my baby girl. 1267 01:01:45,667 --> 01:01:46,458 Love you. 1268 01:01:46,542 --> 01:01:48,708 Me too. 1269 01:01:48,792 --> 01:01:49,833 KEN SEELEY: I'm Ken. - Hi. 1270 01:01:49,958 --> 01:01:51,333 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to you. 1271 01:01:51,417 --> 01:01:52,125 Pleasure. 1272 01:01:54,167 --> 01:01:55,333 - Ken. - Hi, Ken. 1273 01:01:55,417 --> 01:01:56,167 Nice to meet you. 1274 01:01:56,250 --> 01:01:58,500 Nice to meet you. 1275 01:01:58,583 --> 01:02:01,167 So I'm glad you guys are here. 1276 01:02:01,250 --> 01:02:04,083 So everybody just wrote a little something down. 1277 01:02:04,167 --> 01:02:07,500 If you don't mind just listening to them. 1278 01:02:07,583 --> 01:02:11,042 BARBARA: Joey, what a joy it was for me 1279 01:02:11,125 --> 01:02:15,333 to raise you and watch you blossom into this wonderful 1280 01:02:15,375 --> 01:02:18,000 creative self you are. 1281 01:02:18,042 --> 01:02:20,000 You have so much love and compassion 1282 01:02:20,042 --> 01:02:22,917 and kindness to others all through your life. 1283 01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:27,000 It's sad to see that your addiction has changed that. 1284 01:02:27,083 --> 01:02:29,250 I saw you so sad in your life. 1285 01:02:29,375 --> 01:02:32,792 And I apologize that I couldn't protect you from all 1286 01:02:32,875 --> 01:02:35,250 the horrors and trauma you saw. 1287 01:02:35,333 --> 01:02:38,833 Let go and trust in the new opportunity 1288 01:02:38,875 --> 01:02:41,667 to start healing yourself. 1289 01:02:41,708 --> 01:02:42,708 I love you. 1290 01:02:47,042 --> 01:02:50,167 Joey, you're such a creative soul. 1291 01:02:50,250 --> 01:02:53,667 That artistic brain is something that you and Aubrey share. 1292 01:02:53,708 --> 01:02:57,458 Aubrey has demonstrated a desire to share that part of herself 1293 01:02:57,583 --> 01:02:59,042 with you. 1294 01:02:59,125 --> 01:03:00,750 But that has been the hard because she 1295 01:03:00,833 --> 01:03:04,500 often can't reach you. 1296 01:03:04,625 --> 01:03:06,333 I watched her excitement transition 1297 01:03:06,375 --> 01:03:09,250 into disappointment when she calls or texts, 1298 01:03:09,375 --> 01:03:11,167 and you know the answer. 1299 01:03:11,250 --> 01:03:15,667 Your addiction has taken nine years of learning these things 1300 01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,667 about your daughter firsthand. 1301 01:03:18,750 --> 01:03:21,208 I see the potential for you two to bond 1302 01:03:21,292 --> 01:03:24,458 if you are able to maintain sobriety. 1303 01:03:24,542 --> 01:03:26,167 Will you please get help? 1304 01:03:26,250 --> 01:03:28,875 Will you please accept this gift of treatment? 1305 01:03:38,333 --> 01:03:40,875 I kind of feel-- 1306 01:03:40,958 --> 01:03:42,792 What do you feel? 1307 01:03:42,875 --> 01:03:44,917 I don't know how I feel. 1308 01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,417 KEN SEELEY: But what they're hoping 1309 01:03:46,500 --> 01:03:49,583 is that there's this place called Renewal Lodge. 1310 01:03:49,667 --> 01:03:52,917 And it's in Texas. 1311 01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:54,208 JOEY: Oh, my God, dude. 1312 01:03:54,333 --> 01:03:55,500 And this is where-- 1313 01:03:55,583 --> 01:03:56,833 the place. 1314 01:03:56,917 --> 01:03:59,125 I'm not going anywhere without her going. 1315 01:03:59,208 --> 01:04:00,333 OK. 1316 01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:02,833 That's not-- that's what they're hoping. 1317 01:04:02,958 --> 01:04:04,333 They have a bed waiting for you. 1318 01:04:04,417 --> 01:04:05,208 That's your choice. 1319 01:04:10,625 --> 01:04:11,875 JOEY: No way. 1320 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,542 I don't want to [bleep] go to treatment. 1321 01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:19,000 We'll take care of your dog. 1322 01:04:19,042 --> 01:04:21,917 So this was all just to [bleep] split us up. 1323 01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:23,542 No, not at all. 1324 01:04:27,875 --> 01:04:29,708 [bleep] this. 1325 01:04:29,833 --> 01:04:32,875 This is [bleep]. 1326 01:04:32,958 --> 01:04:34,250 I'm going to follow him. 1327 01:04:34,333 --> 01:04:35,917 Don't follow me with the [bleep] cameras. 1328 01:04:43,458 --> 01:04:44,375 JOEY: [bleep] that. 1329 01:04:51,250 --> 01:04:55,125 I know it's a lot to take in, a lot to process. 1330 01:04:55,208 --> 01:04:59,333 So let's just hear what Erika's family has to say. 1331 01:04:59,375 --> 01:05:01,083 CASSIDY: Thank you for listening to us. 1332 01:05:01,167 --> 01:05:04,125 We all love you a lot. 1333 01:05:04,208 --> 01:05:05,750 KEN SEELEY: Listen to her family. 1334 01:05:05,833 --> 01:05:07,333 She listened to yours, if you don't mind. 1335 01:05:07,417 --> 01:05:10,708 And then after that, you can make that decision. 1336 01:05:10,792 --> 01:05:12,583 Please listen to her family. 1337 01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:14,208 Joey isn't willing yet. 1338 01:05:14,333 --> 01:05:17,500 He just doesn't have that level of surrender yet. 1339 01:05:17,542 --> 01:05:21,125 We're so close, but you just never know, with the addiction, 1340 01:05:21,208 --> 01:05:22,292 when it's still alive. 1341 01:05:25,167 --> 01:05:28,000 He agreed to come back in and hear Erika's family 1342 01:05:28,042 --> 01:05:30,167 on what they have to say. 1343 01:05:30,250 --> 01:05:33,833 We don't want to be split up. 1344 01:05:33,958 --> 01:05:36,750 MARY: Erika, I knew from the first time we met, 1345 01:05:36,833 --> 01:05:38,125 we would be friends. 1346 01:05:38,125 --> 01:05:40,708 I knew your grandmother, mom, and finally, you. 1347 01:05:40,792 --> 01:05:43,792 You were so shy, yet friendly and warm. 1348 01:05:43,875 --> 01:05:47,833 You have so much light and love and so much to give others, 1349 01:05:47,917 --> 01:05:50,167 you forget about yourself. 1350 01:05:50,250 --> 01:05:54,958 But the path you are on is only going one way. 1351 01:05:55,042 --> 01:05:57,875 This opportunity is what you wanted, needed, 1352 01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:01,667 and now it's here. 1353 01:06:01,708 --> 01:06:05,125 And I hope you choose to go. 1354 01:06:05,208 --> 01:06:06,417 Yep. 1355 01:06:06,542 --> 01:06:08,583 MARY: And I hope you choose to go too, Joey. 1356 01:06:11,417 --> 01:06:15,333 Erika, remember when you were little? 1357 01:06:15,333 --> 01:06:18,750 You used to lay on my lap and I'd tell you stories when I 1358 01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:20,542 was a little boy at the ranch. 1359 01:06:20,625 --> 01:06:21,958 ERIKA: Yeah. 1360 01:06:22,042 --> 01:06:24,500 NOBERT: You know, drinking and drugs, I-- 1361 01:06:24,583 --> 01:06:26,292 I don't like that. 1362 01:06:26,375 --> 01:06:31,333 Erika, I will always, always be in your corner, regardless. 1363 01:06:31,417 --> 01:06:36,792 But if you don't get some sort of treatment, 1364 01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:38,458 it's going to be hard to do. 1365 01:06:38,542 --> 01:06:40,042 I know. 1366 01:06:40,125 --> 01:06:42,958 That's-- that's about it. 1367 01:06:43,042 --> 01:06:44,667 KEN SEELEY: So the place we have picked out 1368 01:06:44,708 --> 01:06:48,167 for you is the Friendly House in Los Angeles. 1369 01:06:48,250 --> 01:06:51,167 It's just one of the best places in the world to get sober. 1370 01:06:51,250 --> 01:06:54,125 So mom, you want to read your letter? 1371 01:06:54,208 --> 01:06:56,083 Erika, I remember when you were little 1372 01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:59,125 and we were so close. 1373 01:06:59,208 --> 01:07:03,333 I really miss making memories with you. 1374 01:07:03,417 --> 01:07:05,250 As your disease has progressed, I've 1375 01:07:05,333 --> 01:07:08,792 watched you lose everything that there is to lose. 1376 01:07:08,875 --> 01:07:10,833 As the darkest day in our relationship 1377 01:07:10,917 --> 01:07:12,833 was when you sent me a text message 1378 01:07:12,917 --> 01:07:14,667 that as far as I was concerned, that you 1379 01:07:14,750 --> 01:07:15,750 were just as dead as Jacob. 1380 01:07:19,542 --> 01:07:21,167 That one hurt. 1381 01:07:21,250 --> 01:07:25,000 Everybody that knows me knows I lost my son in July of 2019. 1382 01:07:25,042 --> 01:07:26,958 But only the people that know me closest 1383 01:07:27,042 --> 01:07:28,625 know I lost two kids that day. 1384 01:07:31,917 --> 01:07:34,125 Today is my chance to save one. 1385 01:07:36,708 --> 01:07:41,292 What you can do today is you can take charge of the future you. 1386 01:07:41,375 --> 01:07:43,292 You got your future in your hand right there, girl. 1387 01:07:43,375 --> 01:07:47,042 And you decide today. 1388 01:07:47,042 --> 01:07:49,542 [suspenseful music] 1389 01:08:00,750 --> 01:08:03,875 KAREN: But you know if you take this opportunity today, that 1390 01:08:03,958 --> 01:08:05,542 you have a shot at a real life. 1391 01:08:05,625 --> 01:08:08,292 And Joey, you too. 1392 01:08:08,375 --> 01:08:10,833 What do you say, baby? 1393 01:08:10,917 --> 01:08:12,708 You want to go get better? 1394 01:08:12,792 --> 01:08:15,208 KEN SEELEY: They have a bag packed with all new clothes. 1395 01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:17,458 And there's two nurses out front that are going 1396 01:08:17,542 --> 01:08:18,917 to take you both to treatment. 1397 01:08:19,042 --> 01:08:20,792 Dude, I've been to treatment 14 times. 1398 01:08:20,875 --> 01:08:22,125 I know the 12 steps. 1399 01:08:22,208 --> 01:08:23,583 I know health realization. - Wait a minute. 1400 01:08:23,667 --> 01:08:24,667 Calm down. 1401 01:08:24,750 --> 01:08:26,000 Everything is lined up for you. 1402 01:08:26,083 --> 01:08:27,583 The dogs are taken care of. 1403 01:08:27,667 --> 01:08:31,792 All you have to do is say yes right now. 1404 01:08:31,875 --> 01:08:32,833 Erika, what's your answer? 1405 01:08:36,958 --> 01:08:38,917 The answer's Yes for Erika. 1406 01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,542 That's what I need to hear. 1407 01:08:41,667 --> 01:08:43,833 I was very proud of her for the way she handled herself, 1408 01:08:43,875 --> 01:08:46,500 but even more so the way that she handled Joey, kind 1409 01:08:46,542 --> 01:08:49,917 of guiding and prompting and waiting for him, whether Joey 1410 01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,333 decides to go or not. 1411 01:08:51,417 --> 01:08:53,250 As a human being, yeah, I hope you say yes. 1412 01:08:53,333 --> 01:08:57,167 But my focus today is on Erika. 1413 01:08:57,250 --> 01:08:58,792 I can't do this. 1414 01:08:58,875 --> 01:09:00,500 Yes, you can. 1415 01:09:00,625 --> 01:09:02,167 KEN SEELEY: You know, if you make that decision, that's OK. 1416 01:09:02,208 --> 01:09:04,083 But your life is going to change. 1417 01:09:04,208 --> 01:09:06,083 I don't [bleep] want to hear the ultimatums. 1418 01:09:06,167 --> 01:09:07,333 BARBARA: No. Big Joe. 1419 01:09:07,417 --> 01:09:08,083 Big Joe. 1420 01:09:08,167 --> 01:09:10,125 Just say yes. 1421 01:09:10,208 --> 01:09:11,625 That's [bleep]. 1422 01:09:11,708 --> 01:09:12,875 Everybody lied to me the whole [bleep] time. 1423 01:09:16,792 --> 01:09:20,542 What I want to do now is get you in the van to the airport. 1424 01:09:20,667 --> 01:09:22,167 So let's go. 1425 01:09:22,292 --> 01:09:23,667 ERIKA: Is it like a real goodbye? 1426 01:09:23,708 --> 01:09:26,417 This is it. 1427 01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:28,292 KAREN: I'm really proud of you. 1428 01:09:28,375 --> 01:09:29,667 I'm really proud of you too. 1429 01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:30,542 Thank you. 1430 01:09:34,875 --> 01:09:35,667 OK. 1431 01:09:41,833 --> 01:09:44,375 You got this. 1432 01:09:44,458 --> 01:09:45,708 I'll tell them to back off. 1433 01:09:45,792 --> 01:09:47,292 Yeah, please, dude. 1434 01:09:47,292 --> 01:09:48,792 Can you guys back off, the cameras? 1435 01:09:59,708 --> 01:10:00,458 I will, Pops. 1436 01:10:00,583 --> 01:10:01,708 [sniffles] 1437 01:10:01,792 --> 01:10:03,375 KEN SEELEY: I'll go get Joey to say goodbye. 1438 01:10:03,458 --> 01:10:04,042 Yeah. 1439 01:10:04,167 --> 01:10:05,792 Wait right here. 1440 01:10:05,875 --> 01:10:07,917 KEN SEELEY: You want to come say goodbye to her, Joey? 1441 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,250 She's waiting for you to say goodbye. 1442 01:10:33,542 --> 01:10:34,292 I got to go. 1443 01:10:36,875 --> 01:10:37,625 JOEY: OK. 1444 01:10:37,708 --> 01:10:38,500 I love you. 1445 01:10:38,583 --> 01:10:39,333 OK. 1446 01:10:59,292 --> 01:11:00,667 KAREN: My girl said yes. 1447 01:11:00,750 --> 01:11:04,250 So once we got that and I saw that van drive off-- 1448 01:11:04,333 --> 01:11:06,458 that's my girl. 1449 01:11:06,542 --> 01:11:08,333 I could feel her relief. 1450 01:11:08,417 --> 01:11:10,167 For the first time in many years, 1451 01:11:10,250 --> 01:11:13,083 I think she feels hopeful for what 1452 01:11:13,167 --> 01:11:14,208 tomorrow is going to bring. 1453 01:11:28,708 --> 01:11:30,083 ERIKA: I was very caught off guard 1454 01:11:30,167 --> 01:11:32,167 to see my mom sitting there. 1455 01:11:32,292 --> 01:11:33,625 It made me feel good. 1456 01:11:33,708 --> 01:11:36,833 I'm ready for a new beginning. 1457 01:11:36,917 --> 01:11:38,500 What I'm worried about Joe. 1458 01:11:38,583 --> 01:11:40,500 I told him I wouldn't go to rehab if we 1459 01:11:40,500 --> 01:11:43,042 couldn't go to the same place. 1460 01:11:43,125 --> 01:11:45,000 So he feels betrayed. 1461 01:11:45,125 --> 01:11:46,958 And I understand that. 1462 01:11:47,042 --> 01:11:49,333 I would too. 1463 01:11:49,417 --> 01:11:53,000 I'm very worried about Joe. 1464 01:11:53,042 --> 01:11:57,208 Erika just left for treatment, but Joey's not willing to go. 1465 01:11:57,292 --> 01:11:59,708 But he is willing to write his mother a letter. 1466 01:11:59,792 --> 01:12:02,167 So his sister is going to help him write the letter 1467 01:12:02,292 --> 01:12:03,875 for his mom's intervention. 1468 01:12:03,875 --> 01:12:07,833 But if she chooses not to go and he chooses not to go, 1469 01:12:07,917 --> 01:12:10,833 then we're in a lot of trouble because the two of them 1470 01:12:10,917 --> 01:12:11,667 will pair up. 1471 01:12:33,042 --> 01:12:33,833 Oh, you are here. 1472 01:12:41,125 --> 01:12:41,833 Hey, mom. 1473 01:12:41,917 --> 01:12:44,292 Where's Erika? 1474 01:12:44,375 --> 01:12:45,083 Look at Joey. 1475 01:12:45,208 --> 01:12:46,000 I see Joe. 1476 01:12:46,125 --> 01:12:48,167 Hi, Joe. 1477 01:12:48,250 --> 01:12:49,208 Hi, Joe. 1478 01:12:49,333 --> 01:12:50,500 How come you didn't tell me? 1479 01:12:50,542 --> 01:12:52,000 BARBARA: Because I didn't want to. 1480 01:12:52,125 --> 01:12:52,875 Hello. 1481 01:12:57,458 --> 01:12:58,625 I put your purse. 1482 01:12:58,708 --> 01:12:59,208 How are you? 1483 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:00,125 Good. 1484 01:13:00,208 --> 01:13:02,250 Oh, please. 1485 01:13:02,375 --> 01:13:04,083 No makeup. 1486 01:13:04,167 --> 01:13:07,208 KEN SEELEY: So everybody's here because they're really worried 1487 01:13:07,292 --> 01:13:09,125 about you and they were worried about Joey, 1488 01:13:09,208 --> 01:13:11,167 and offered Joey some help. 1489 01:13:11,250 --> 01:13:16,458 And we're hoping that you decide to lead the way as a good mom. 1490 01:13:16,542 --> 01:13:17,875 Everybody wrote something down. 1491 01:13:17,958 --> 01:13:20,458 You guys want to go first. 1492 01:13:20,542 --> 01:13:23,583 My beautiful daughter Bethann, [sighs heavily] 1493 01:13:23,708 --> 01:13:26,000 you have suffered so much with addiction. 1494 01:13:26,083 --> 01:13:29,042 You're like a wounded bird with a broken wing. 1495 01:13:29,125 --> 01:13:31,708 It's hard for me to watch. 1496 01:13:31,792 --> 01:13:36,042 If you don't stop soon, I'm afraid you won't make it. 1497 01:13:36,125 --> 01:13:38,583 Your health is not good anymore. 1498 01:13:38,667 --> 01:13:43,375 Start moving into the light and away from the darkness. 1499 01:13:43,458 --> 01:13:45,083 I love you so much. 1500 01:13:45,167 --> 01:13:51,833 Take this wonderful opportunity and run with it now. 1501 01:13:51,917 --> 01:13:55,375 Mom, you are such a radiant and vibrant 1502 01:13:55,458 --> 01:13:57,083 light in this world. 1503 01:13:57,167 --> 01:14:00,375 It's been devastating to see you like this, angry, chaotic, 1504 01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:02,917 unreliable, and untrustworthy. 1505 01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:04,000 This is it mom. 1506 01:14:04,083 --> 01:14:05,667 This is your ticket. 1507 01:14:05,750 --> 01:14:09,125 Will you take this amazing opportunity to change your life 1508 01:14:09,208 --> 01:14:11,167 to get treatment, mom? 1509 01:14:11,208 --> 01:14:15,000 KEN SEELEY: It's called Pillars in Southern California. 1510 01:14:15,083 --> 01:14:16,625 What? 1511 01:14:16,708 --> 01:14:18,125 KEN SEELEY: We have a nurse practitioner out there 1512 01:14:18,208 --> 01:14:20,292 to take you to treatment. 1513 01:14:20,375 --> 01:14:21,917 Wow. 1514 01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:22,917 Looks good, mom. 1515 01:14:25,500 --> 01:14:26,667 I think you should do it. 1516 01:14:40,500 --> 01:14:41,667 Are you willing to go? 1517 01:14:57,375 --> 01:14:58,458 Are you willing to go? 1518 01:15:02,417 --> 01:15:04,583 I'm not saying no to any of it. 1519 01:15:04,708 --> 01:15:05,958 KEN SEELEY: Are you willing-- 1520 01:15:06,042 --> 01:15:06,875 Flabbergasted. 1521 01:15:06,958 --> 01:15:08,750 Yes, I am. 1522 01:15:08,833 --> 01:15:09,458 All right. 1523 01:15:09,542 --> 01:15:10,250 Give her a hug. 1524 01:15:10,333 --> 01:15:14,083 Alright, Mama! 1525 01:15:14,167 --> 01:15:16,667 BARBARA: When I saw Bethann say yes, I was so 1526 01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:20,083 thrilled because I mean, I've been praying 1527 01:15:20,167 --> 01:15:22,000 on this for a long time. 1528 01:15:22,042 --> 01:15:25,833 My hope for Bethann is blossom like she did before 1529 01:15:25,917 --> 01:15:30,000 in her community of sobriety. 1530 01:15:30,042 --> 01:15:32,167 I'm going to be bombed about my clothes. 1531 01:15:32,208 --> 01:15:33,000 Mom. 1532 01:15:36,125 --> 01:15:37,333 They're not going anywhere. 1533 01:15:37,458 --> 01:15:38,583 We'll get everything for you. 1534 01:15:38,667 --> 01:15:39,583 Mom, look at me. 1535 01:15:39,708 --> 01:15:40,958 I'm so proud of you. 1536 01:15:41,042 --> 01:15:42,667 OK. 1537 01:15:42,708 --> 01:15:45,083 KEN SEELEY: Bethann said yes, but Joey does 1538 01:15:45,167 --> 01:15:46,708 not want to go to treatment. 1539 01:15:46,708 --> 01:15:49,375 So I'm hoping that a light bulb will turn on 1540 01:15:49,458 --> 01:15:52,500 for him that'll say, I have no other place 1541 01:15:52,500 --> 01:15:55,583 to go except to do this. 1542 01:15:55,667 --> 01:15:58,000 So you could go with Ingralisa now, 1543 01:15:58,042 --> 01:16:01,833 and then he could go with Tor, and you'll talk on the car. 1544 01:16:01,917 --> 01:16:03,458 Because they're already-- they're going 1545 01:16:03,542 --> 01:16:05,917 to board in about half an hour. 1546 01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:07,375 So you'll have time to talk to her 1547 01:16:07,458 --> 01:16:09,583 before she boards her plane. 1548 01:16:09,667 --> 01:16:10,542 Is that good? 1549 01:16:18,542 --> 01:16:19,417 Bye, Joey. 1550 01:16:19,500 --> 01:16:20,750 Go. 1551 01:16:20,750 --> 01:16:22,000 You're going to be fine. 1552 01:16:22,125 --> 01:16:23,292 You're going to be good. 1553 01:16:23,375 --> 01:16:24,083 OK. 1554 01:16:28,625 --> 01:16:29,333 Bye, Mom. 1555 01:16:29,375 --> 01:16:30,208 Bye. 1556 01:16:30,292 --> 01:16:31,542 Love you. 1557 01:16:31,625 --> 01:16:34,208 Joey, you're going to be OK. 1558 01:16:35,417 --> 01:16:37,250 I just want to hug my brother because I 1559 01:16:37,333 --> 01:16:38,667 know he's feeling betrayed. 1560 01:16:38,750 --> 01:16:42,000 But I pray that he really digs deep within himself 1561 01:16:42,042 --> 01:16:45,833 because it would be really special to have 1562 01:16:45,917 --> 01:16:48,500 that, that strength and sobriety with my brother 1563 01:16:48,583 --> 01:16:49,583 and with my mom. 1564 01:16:55,375 --> 01:16:57,167 Joe, I love you. 1565 01:16:57,208 --> 01:16:58,125 I love you too, guys. 1566 01:17:01,458 --> 01:17:02,208 All right. 1567 01:17:02,292 --> 01:17:02,958 You did good job. 1568 01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:09,000 That was tough. 1569 01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:09,833 Oh, my God. 1570 01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:15,000 JOEY: So I'm on my way to the airport. 1571 01:17:16,167 --> 01:17:16,833 Yeah. 1572 01:17:19,125 --> 01:17:20,542 I'm proud of you too. 1573 01:17:20,667 --> 01:17:21,583 I love you. 1574 01:17:27,250 --> 01:17:28,125 Yeah. 1575 01:17:29,917 --> 01:17:30,625 Yeah. 1576 01:17:32,625 --> 01:17:33,375 Love you too. 1577 01:17:33,500 --> 01:17:34,958 All right. 1578 01:17:35,042 --> 01:17:35,750 Bye. 1579 01:17:53,792 --> 01:17:54,500 What's up, man? 1580 01:17:54,583 --> 01:17:55,500 I'm Peter. 1581 01:17:55,583 --> 01:17:56,500 Joey. 1582 01:17:56,542 --> 01:17:57,333 Nice to meet you. 1583 01:17:57,375 --> 01:17:58,333 Nice to meet you. 1584 01:17:58,417 --> 01:17:59,125 Come on in. - Rough day? 1585 01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:00,667 - Yeah - Yeah. 1586 01:18:00,750 --> 01:18:02,458 PETER PIRAINO: Our chief concern here is that you're safe 1587 01:18:02,542 --> 01:18:04,125 and that you're OK. 1588 01:18:04,208 --> 01:18:04,583 And we're going to do everything we can to help you, 1589 01:18:04,667 --> 01:18:06,167 OK. 1590 01:18:06,250 --> 01:18:08,333 Our hopes for Joey is that he can focus on himself 1591 01:18:08,417 --> 01:18:11,500 and give himself a chance and lets us care about him until he 1592 01:18:11,542 --> 01:18:12,875 can care about himself. 1593 01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:15,042 JOEY: I wouldn't have picked this place, 1594 01:18:15,125 --> 01:18:18,708 but it seems to be hopefully cool. 1595 01:18:18,792 --> 01:18:20,792 So I guess I'll just give it a shot. 1596 01:18:26,542 --> 01:18:28,500 I'm feeling full of anxiety. 1597 01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:31,167 I'm exhausted. 1598 01:18:31,250 --> 01:18:32,500 Hi. 1599 01:18:32,542 --> 01:18:34,125 Welcome to Friendly House. 1600 01:18:34,250 --> 01:18:35,500 Thank you. 1601 01:18:35,583 --> 01:18:39,125 I'm very emotional and I'm not sure why. 1602 01:18:39,208 --> 01:18:41,292 ELIZABETH FOLIE: We are an all women's facility. 1603 01:18:41,375 --> 01:18:43,792 And so many women come in and they're really used 1604 01:18:43,917 --> 01:18:46,833 to taking on caretaker roles. 1605 01:18:46,958 --> 01:18:49,125 Hello. 1606 01:18:49,125 --> 01:18:52,542 It's a big shift to go from being so 1607 01:18:52,625 --> 01:18:55,667 wrapped up with your using partner to really 1608 01:18:55,708 --> 01:18:57,417 have to focus on yourself. 1609 01:18:57,500 --> 01:18:59,917 My hopes are endless right now. 1610 01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:02,792 Like anything is possible at this point. 1611 01:19:02,875 --> 01:19:05,708 And I'm ready to see what's ahead of me. 1612 01:19:15,708 --> 01:19:18,917 ERIKA: I have been sober for 88 days now. 1613 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:23,292 And physically, I feel like a new woman. 1614 01:19:23,375 --> 01:19:24,667 I'm definitely happier. 1615 01:19:24,750 --> 01:19:27,500 I have a lot more joy even in dark days. 1616 01:19:30,250 --> 01:19:33,208 ALLEGRA COMAS: Erika has made a lot of progress. 1617 01:19:34,250 --> 01:19:38,250 After 30 days, she was able to settle into her body, 1618 01:19:38,333 --> 01:19:43,333 and actually tolerate being alone, away from her partner, 1619 01:19:43,417 --> 01:19:44,667 Joey. 1620 01:19:44,750 --> 01:19:46,875 She's able to identify her feelings. 1621 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:50,375 It's like she's a different person. 1622 01:19:50,500 --> 01:19:54,750 My relationship with my mom, it's loving and respectful 1623 01:19:54,833 --> 01:19:56,375 between the two of us. 1624 01:19:56,458 --> 01:19:58,500 And she's supportive. 1625 01:19:58,542 --> 01:20:01,500 And the status with my daughter, and I got to talk to her 1626 01:20:01,542 --> 01:20:04,875 every day for 2 and 1/2 weeks to build a relationship 1627 01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:07,167 with my daughter again. 1628 01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:09,250 We're both hoping that by high school, 1629 01:20:09,375 --> 01:20:12,125 she can come out here and live with me. 1630 01:20:12,208 --> 01:20:15,667 She missed me as much as I've missed her. 1631 01:20:15,792 --> 01:20:17,833 I've been in touch with Joey. 1632 01:20:17,917 --> 01:20:20,333 It has been very minimal. 1633 01:20:20,417 --> 01:20:23,500 We got about one ten minute phone call a week. 1634 01:20:23,542 --> 01:20:25,000 We miss each other a lot. 1635 01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:27,500 And I'm hoping that when he gets done 1636 01:20:27,583 --> 01:20:31,333 with his sober living out there, that he can come out here. 1637 01:20:31,417 --> 01:20:35,917 And we can begin to do couples therapy and work on ourselves. 1638 01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:37,917 My plans when I finished treatment, 1639 01:20:38,042 --> 01:20:43,167 I'm going to the sober living attached to Friendly House. 1640 01:20:43,250 --> 01:20:47,458 I think that in the long run, it's better for Joey and I 1641 01:20:47,458 --> 01:20:50,583 to really have a solid foundation in our sobriety 1642 01:20:50,667 --> 01:20:52,833 before we reunite. 1643 01:20:52,917 --> 01:20:54,458 Possibilities are endless with that. 1644 01:20:57,708 --> 01:21:03,333 JOEY: Have 68 days clean and I feel at peace. 1645 01:21:03,375 --> 01:21:04,542 I feel healthy. 1646 01:21:04,625 --> 01:21:07,167 I'm reconnecting with myself again. 1647 01:21:07,208 --> 01:21:09,167 PETER PIRAINO: When Joey first arrived to treatment, 1648 01:21:09,250 --> 01:21:14,125 he was entitled, angry, defiant. 1649 01:21:14,208 --> 01:21:16,000 He was hyper focused on Erika. 1650 01:21:16,042 --> 01:21:19,500 Every individual session, every group session, about 25 days 1651 01:21:19,583 --> 01:21:23,875 in, he chose to leave treatment and called Erika, 1652 01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:26,292 asked her to leave treatment, and she said no. 1653 01:21:26,375 --> 01:21:28,167 And I think he quickly realized that if he 1654 01:21:28,208 --> 01:21:29,833 wanted to be with her, he was going to have 1655 01:21:29,958 --> 01:21:31,458 to be a different person. 1656 01:21:31,542 --> 01:21:33,750 Two days later, he called us and asked to come back 1657 01:21:33,833 --> 01:21:35,208 and we welcomed him with open arms. 1658 01:21:35,333 --> 01:21:37,000 And he's been doing amazing since then. 1659 01:21:37,042 --> 01:21:39,125 He had a complete turnaround, has committed to a new life, 1660 01:21:39,208 --> 01:21:43,167 and has been a leader in the community. 1661 01:21:43,250 --> 01:21:47,292 Opening up in groups, I started to address the traumas 1662 01:21:47,375 --> 01:21:50,000 from earlier in my life, a lot of grief 1663 01:21:50,125 --> 01:21:52,958 and abandonment from my mom. 1664 01:21:53,042 --> 01:21:55,875 I'm learning to heal from all that and to grow. 1665 01:21:58,917 --> 01:22:00,125 I'll talked to my daughter. 1666 01:22:00,208 --> 01:22:01,792 She sounds really good. 1667 01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:04,333 And I would like to be in my daughter's life down the line. 1668 01:22:04,417 --> 01:22:06,250 [guitar playing] 1669 01:22:08,042 --> 01:22:10,417 Me and Erika are still together. 1670 01:22:10,500 --> 01:22:12,250 We talk every week. 1671 01:22:12,333 --> 01:22:14,333 We write each other every day. 1672 01:22:14,458 --> 01:22:16,458 Every day I get a letter from her. 1673 01:22:16,542 --> 01:22:18,125 And every day I write one. 1674 01:22:18,208 --> 01:22:20,958 What I've learned is if it's true love, you'll let go. 1675 01:22:21,042 --> 01:22:23,167 And whatever is best for her needs to happen 1676 01:22:23,250 --> 01:22:25,667 for her, and for me as well. 1677 01:22:25,792 --> 01:22:29,292 And if we work on ourselves, we'll have a beautiful life 1678 01:22:29,375 --> 01:22:31,167 no matter what. 1679 01:22:31,250 --> 01:22:33,833 I was really pissed off about the intervention. 1680 01:22:33,875 --> 01:22:35,917 But looking back on it, I'm truly grateful. 1681 01:22:48,042 --> 01:22:50,667 I have been sober 84 days. 1682 01:22:50,792 --> 01:22:53,250 And I am feeling balanced. 1683 01:22:53,333 --> 01:22:58,125 I'm feeling grateful and spiritually fit. 1684 01:22:58,208 --> 01:23:03,375 Joey, getting treatment at the same time that I did 1685 01:23:03,458 --> 01:23:06,250 helped tremendously. 1686 01:23:06,333 --> 01:23:12,167 I knew that he was safe, and he knew that I was safe. 1687 01:23:12,250 --> 01:23:15,792 JOCELYN ACEVES: Bethann has made tremendous progress while being 1688 01:23:15,875 --> 01:23:17,250 here at Pillars Recovery. 1689 01:23:17,375 --> 01:23:20,875 She has been able to work through intense amounts 1690 01:23:21,000 --> 01:23:23,667 of guilt and shame related to her relationship 1691 01:23:23,750 --> 01:23:25,125 with her son, Joey. 1692 01:23:25,208 --> 01:23:27,333 She had a lot of guilt related to the fact 1693 01:23:27,375 --> 01:23:29,292 that she would use with him. 1694 01:23:29,375 --> 01:23:32,375 And so that is something that we worked on together. 1695 01:23:32,458 --> 01:23:36,917 And she was able to explore how she can be a better mother. 1696 01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:41,625 I think it was probably close to 60 days 1697 01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:47,333 that Joseph and I didn't really communicate with one another. 1698 01:23:47,417 --> 01:23:52,250 And when we did, finally, it was such a beautiful conversation. 1699 01:23:52,375 --> 01:23:57,875 And I was so happy to hear him. 1700 01:23:57,958 --> 01:24:01,875 And knowing that he's working on himself, 1701 01:24:01,875 --> 01:24:04,583 and he's healing because I heard my son. 1702 01:24:04,667 --> 01:24:07,750 So it was really happy.