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Jordan: My name is jordan.
I'm 34.
I would definitely consider myself an alcoholic.
What do you want?
You already had some this morning?
He can drink up to 750 milliliter of vodka
In a single sitting.
You all right?
Aubre: He has to be helped to do normal daily tasks,
And he really can't help anyone right now because he can't
Even take care of himself.
Careful.
Derek: Seeing jordan today, he looks like a complete shell
Of his former self.
Jordan had a very accomplished career starting
With his military service.
He's an accomplished veteran who served our country.
After that, he went into the nursing community.
He was a beloved icu nurse.
He fought on the front lines of covid.
Lisa: Jordan.
Yeah?
Lisa: What are you doing.
I'm fine.
No, you're not fine.
There you go.
Lisa: Jordan's drinking has caused a lot of heartache
And a lot of stress on every member of our family.
What did you drink?
I'm fine.
Jordan: Yes, ma'am.
All right.
Linda: The alcohol addiction has gotten
So out of control with jordan that I
Am afraid he's going to die.
This intervention, it is his life or his death.
Derek: Jordan drinks all day every day.
As long as he can get his hands on some alcohol,
He'll be drinking it.
Jordan: I've been hospitalized with a blood
Alcohol level of 0.536.
Jordan has been arrested for three charges of extreme dui.
Jordan currently lives with my mom and dad
Because he really has no other place to go.
Lisa: Jordan!
You're standing there pissing on my floor.
You're pissing on my wall.
Jordan's alcoholism has come to the point
Where if he doesn't have it, he shakes and trembles.
From a medical standpoint, he can't be without it.
Aubre: He's very skinny now from what he used to be
And he's becoming frail.
This one is this dinner plate from last night, where
He did not eat his dinner.
Two or three bites out of this one.
This is his dinner plate from the night before.
Our problem is just drink until whenever.
So you are feeling like you need a drink right now?
Yes, probably about 3 ounces.
All right.
So today I'm preparing a monitored amount
Of alcohol for jordan every three hours to keep him stable.
Because last night, he drank so much that I was concerned
He was going to have a stroke.
I don't like myself doing this because phil
And I don't allow drinking in our home.
But when he is this dependent on alcohol, if he just quits,
He will go into seizures.
And I can't handle that.
So it's better than me seeing him in a state
Where I would have to call 911 and get an ambulance
To come and intervene.
This is 3 ounces.
This is what we agreed on.
I have enough to sustain you.
Ok.
I don't really like my mom being a bartender.
It's disgraceful to me.
3 ounces of vodka every three hours,
It's much less than I've drank in a long time.
So there's going to come a point where, you know,
I'm going to have to have something.
What happened last night?
I said do not ever do that.
If we need to, we will.
You couldn't stand on your own two legs.
We got you up.
You fell on the floor.
You couldn't even crawl.
You couldn't put one hand in front of the other or a knee.
I don't think that's the case, but--
And your eyes were just rolling
Into the back of your head.
I was probably tired.
No, stop making that excuse.
I am tired of hearing the excuse.
Ok.
I'm tired.
When I go overboard and drink too much,
It's bits and pieces that you remember.
It's-- it's difficult sometimes because there's gaps,
Trying to put together things somebody has told you about.
You were so inebriated last night.
You had dad and I extremely scared.
And I'm still alive today.
Last night, you could not say mom.
Well, that was last night.
Look at me.
It scared me, jordan.
Vincent: I don't think my parents
Should be responsible for babysitting
Jordan on a daily basis.
I feel that jordan is being enabled
And hasn't gotten any better.
Nothing's changed and I disagree with him being there.
Jordan: Sometimes I drink without my parents seeing me
Just because we need to continuously have a drink
So that I can just feel better.
Over a given day, I drink a bottle s vodka or tequila.
I'll buy it and then drink half of it within about 30 seconds.
And then progressively through the night, finish it off.
Sometimes I just hide it somewhere
Because I respect them, so I'll adhere to what they wish.
Lisa: I don't particularly like it
When jordan goes on a walk this late at night
When it's dark out, because I know whenever he goes out
The door, day or night time, he doesn't make
The most rational decisions.
And I know he wanted to go somewhere where
He could buy some alcohol.
And, you know, he's just drinking until he
Walks back in the door.
Phil: And usually, jordan hides his booze down here.
Only one bottle.
Usually I look in there and there's several.
Lisa: Jordan will hide the alcohol,
And he will sneak upstairs to the bathroom and drink it.
This is a lot.
Oh, goodness.
All this stuff.
We got some money to buy this, but we're
Making this truck payments every month that we
Have been for the last year.
Why he is home?
I can encourage him to follow the plan that
I've set up for him, but jordan is
An adult so I cannot stop him.
What a lot.
[music playing]
Ken seeley: My name is ken seeley.
I'm a certified case manager interventionist.
Today I'm meeting with jordan's siblings, aubreana and derek,
To find out what it's been like in the last few months
And how we ended up here.
[knock on door]
Hi.
Hey, how's it going?
Derek, jordan's older brother.
Ken seeley: Nice to meet you.
Tell me a little bit what's been going on.
I'm very happy that we're able to do this and hopefully get
Jordan the help that he needs.
How bad has it been?
You know, he has to drink to pretty much stay alive now
Or otherwise he's shaking.
He can't take care of himself anymore.
My mom kind of has to baby him now.
A lot of people, they get addicted
Because of some form of trauma.
So I wanted to find out what your childhood was like.
What was it like for him?
My parents, you know, raised us the best they could.
We never, in childhood, like, really wanted for anything.
We would go on vacations together as a family.
We went to church every Sunday together as a family.
We would all sit down together and have dinner as a family.
Jordan is the one that's right below me,
So we would do everything together.
We would go fishing and hunting with my dad and my grandpa.
We went to the same school.
We would dress alike.
Twinning is what we kind of called it.
I mean, we were absolutely best friends.
So what was going on at 18?
That's when he joined the army.
Jordan: I joined the army because my grandfather
Had done a lot of great work in the army.
Just always wanted to follow in his footsteps.
During my time in the army, I met my wife.
And overall, it was the best times of my life.
I loved where I was working in the army.
And then I loved building a life and a family.
I have two daughters age 12 and six right now.
I was 100% involved at any second that I could be.
I changed diapers.
I take them to school, fishing, everything
You could do outdoors.
I was excited to be a dad.
How was he like at family events with the kids?
We would all, like, play badminton together and--
Derek: Volunteer at the church.
Yeah.
He was a really good father.
In the military, was there any traumatic experiences there?
Did he go overseas?
Did he--
Something happened for sure when he was in the army.
So when jordan was in the army, he went to fort benning
For airborne school.
During a training event, he fell off one of the towers,
And he injured his back, which resulted
In him not successfully completing the course.
Jordan: I served eight years in the army
Before they medically discharged me because of it.
It's absolutely very difficult because I have
Had a great time in the army.
So after I was honorably discharged from the military,
I chose to go to nursing school so that I could
Serve in a different capacity.
During my job as an icu nurse, I love the fact
That I can just help people on their worst
Day of their entire lives.
Derek: It seemed like jordan and his family
Were doing very well, taking care of his daughters,
Really living in the life that he had set out for.
And then when he was 32, covid-19 came to the us.
The trauma, his experiences that build up.
So did he ever talk to you guys about how it was
Working in icu during covid?
It took a lot out of him.
He was the last person that a lot of these people saw.
And I just remember him saying that, you know,
The amount of death that he was around was really hard for him.
I think it was very shocking for jordan
To see that he was losing so many patients to covid-19.
And I remember when jordan's drinking
Went from casual drinks to drinking on a day-to-day basis.
And it just seems like it's progressively gotten worse.
He was telling me that he would stop off and get three bottles
Of wine and drink those on his way home
Just so he could go to sleep.
That was his everyday routine.
That was a period of time when it was very hopeless for him.
I saw the relationship between him and his wife deteriorate.
Jordan: You lose a lot in the icu.
It's absolutely very demanding to deal with the trauma
And distress and sadness.
And a lot of times, I would take extra shifts
And not be at home.
So then my drinking picked up more than it ever had.
And how long did he work in icu?
Up until nine months ago.
Jordan had gone to work, just got to work,
And his wife called him while he was there on the floor
And told him that she wanted a divorce.
She just unloaded on him, saying, you're never home.
You know, you're drunk a lot.
And all of the distress that created it
Caused something to happen to him that particular night.
I can't really say that on camera?
That's really what made him hit rock bottom.
I think that's where it got really bad.
What happened?
He overdosed at a hospital that he was working at
And clinically died.
What happened?
He overdosed at a hospital that he was working at
And clinically died.
[music playing]
But after he overdosed, he was not
Able to go back to the hospital that he was working at.
I'm sure he's probably just stayed drunk the entire time
To deal with it.
And unfortunately now, he's been drinking
Very hard alcohol as well.
Drinks half a bottle of vodka.
That's just--
That's his life right now?
Since-- since our brother died, our little brother aaron.
No way.
I'm so sorry.
What happened?
In October of '21, we lost our middle brother aaron.
How did he pass away?
The official report is that he died of suicide.
Wow.
How old was he? Aubre: 31.
Derek: 31.
31?
Oh, my god.
I'm so sorry.
So it has to be traumatic on him, my god, to--
I mean, talk about wanting to numb something out.
Jordan has called aubre at 4:00 in the morning her time.
Insinuating about hurting himself.
Even though what just happened with your brother,
He still talks--
He's made comments before.
Wow.
On top of all the loss in the covid icu,
He's going through trauma with his wife.
And then now losing his brother is just piling on to his trauma
And just making it so devastating
That he just doesn't see a way out right now.
If he doesn't get help, we will
Be burying another brother, and my parents
Will be burying another child.
And then we'll probably be burying a mom right after that.
Wow.
I hope jordan eats tonight because I am
Very, very worried about him.
I'm very concerned about his nutritional health.
The last time he ate a meal was four days ago,
And I just see him slowly withering.
Right, hand me your plate, please.
You haven't eaten in days.
So please eat.
So in the last few days, I haven't eaten much.
I would say alcohol took precedence over eating.
You can't just undo this.
I understand that, jordan.
You can't just quit cold turkey or you're going to seize,
Go into seizures and die.
But the last three weeks, it's gotten
Worse and worse and worse.
I'm fine.
I don't even want to eat right now.
So let me wrap it--
Wrap it up.
Wrap it up, put it in the fridge.
Ok.
Don't worry about me.
I'm fine.
No, you're not fine.
I'm fine.
Lisa: Jordan always just tells me I'm fine, I'm fine.
He doesn't acknowledge how hurt that makes me because I
See that he's not fine.
I don't think he wants to admit truly
To himself how not well he is.
I need to be outside.
I'm not known as an indoors person at all.
Oh, boy.
So whatever it takes to get me out of there and outside,
I'll take it.
Lisa: It's very sad to see him in a state that he is.
Very difficult as his mom because I want to fix him.
And I can't.
Jordan.
Jordan!
Look at me.
Jordan!
Do I need to call an ambulance?
Jordan!
Do I need to call an ambulance?
By the time night came around, he was so inebriated that phil
And I almost called 911.
What do you want to eat with this?
What's the option?
Lisa: But he, so far today, is good.
He's talking.
And so I'm trying metered drinking again and preparing
To watch him today.
First of all, how many ounces are we going to do?
4.
Start with 4.
Start with 4?
We'll start with 4 and then we'll do 3 the next time.
All right.
Losing one child has shattered my heart.
Stop.
All right, that is 3 and 1/2, all right?
And it is 12:15.
We're going to also document the timing of this today.
If I lost jordan, I don't know how
Much longer I can keep living.
[phone ringing]
Daughter 1 (on phone): Hello.
Hey, bubba.
Daughter 1 (on phone): Hi.
What are you doing?
Daughter 1 (on phone): I'm eating a popsicle.
What flavor?
Daughter 1 (on phone): Cherry. - Cherry?
Daughter 1 (on phone): Mm-hmm.
That's my girl.
Daughter 2 (on phone): Hi, dad.
Hey, baby.
How are you?
Daughter 2 (on phone): I'm good.
I talk to my daughters every single day.
I can't see them, but at least I can speak with them.
How was school today?
Daughter 1 (on phone): It was ok.
What did you make for lunch?
Daughter 1 (on phone): I had a capri sun and a yogurt.
Jordan: The calls from my daughters
Are important because they need me and I wouldn't drink
The amount that I'd do if I was with them,
If I were able to see them.
Well, I miss you guys so much.
Daughter 1 (on phone): I miss you too.
Daughter 2 (on phone): I miss you too.
Jordan: Talk to you tomorrow, ok?
Daughter 1 (on phone): Ok.
All right, I love you.
Daughter 1 (on phone): Love you too.
Daughter 2 (on phone): Love you too.
Love you, baby.
Bye.
Daughter 2 (on phone): Bye.
[sniffs]
I just miss my kids.
Talking to them is not enough.
I need to be with them.
Lisa: Jordan has not seen his daughters for many months.
His daughters live in north carolina with their mother.
And he is heartbroken and shattered to the fact
That he has not been able to be a hands-on father.
He wants that relationship back with his daughters desperately.
They're 2,000 miles away from me.
So breaking that line of connection is difficult.
Phil: Jordan has, on several occasions,
After he talks to his daughter, he goes and drinks behind
Closed doors just to be able to function
To calm his nerves down.
Apparently, jordan is extremely intoxicated
When he talks to the girls.
And I could see the anguish in just in his demeanor.
He just feels hopeless and feels like there's
No way of recovering his life.
I knew that this controlled drinking for jordan
Was just a band-aid fix for his condition.
I was kind of hoping it might last a little longer because it
Just gives us a little bit of reprieve from the chaos,
But certainly no surprise that he's failed once again.
And if he doesn't get help, you know, we may never see him
Again, whether he dies or he just ends up out on the street
Somewhere wandering around.
Jordan: My ex-wife and my brother
Passing away, I mean, it's a whole lot of things
That brought me to this point.
I was pulled away from my kids, the hospital that I worked at.
I've lost everything.
I know your dad couldn't come, right?
Phil is not able to be with us right now because he got a call
From his work to go from flying passengers
To flying 737 cargo jet, which is setting
Us up for his retirement.
Something he's been waiting nearly
Three years to be accepted for.
Yeah, it's a hard decision, right?
I know he wishes he could be here, but all of the siblings
Have flown out from their homes to be here for jordan.
There's a lot of ptsd, right?
There's a lot of trauma that he was dealing with.
Coming home from work, you know, drinking three bottles of wine
To deal with all those deaths.
I mean, I couldn't even imagine seeing that every day
Constantly.
And then in the middle of all that,
Losing his kids and his wife and losing his brother.
And so it's like, piling and piling
And piling and piling on top of them.
And then you're all the way in another country, right?
The furthest away.
Yes, I live in Italy.
And how is it affecting you where
You have to pick up the phone?
I care more for him than I do myself in making sure that he's
Ok, because I don't know if it'll
Be the last time I talk to him.
Yeah.
And, you know, it's affecting my mom.
It's affecting my dad and causing them stress and chaos
As well.
It's the disease that's doing that because that's not--
It's still keeping you guys hostage.
And it still is something that you have to deal with.
It is.
Addiction is a family disease.
If you're not taking care of you,
You're never going to take care of him.
You know, he's the one drinking himself to death,
But you're the ones that are killing
Yourselves, worrying yourselves to death
And trying to control it.
Well, if I fix this, then we all have a better chance.
Your dad's a pilot.
What do they say when the oxygen happens?
Who do you put it on first?
Yourself before helping others.
It's not healthy.
It's not one for the other.
It's not an even exchange. - I know.
Ken seeley: You're not doing it for him.
There's a saying in recovery, like,
Codependency kills more addicts than addiction itself.
Because every single addict has to hit a rock bottom.
But when the co-dependency is there,
You're putting this huge cushion underneath that rock bottom.
And you're letting them stay comfortable.
It never gets painful.
Absolutely.
Ken seeley: And until he hits that rock bottom
And it's painful, he's never going to stop.
Vincent: We all look at this opportunity tomorrow
Is the end of many years of suffering
And all the issues he's brought us.
So if he turns down this opportunity,
It's going to be devastating.
And we just hope and pray that he goes, because if not,
Nobody knows what else to do for him.
He has no other alternatives besides jail or death.
What are the things that we could
Raise that rock bottom with to be motivated to want to change?
His kids.
They're already gone.
But you could point it out as it would be more--
If you don't go, your children will be taken away--
For good.
You have no chance of getting custody.
If you don't go, you will lose your nursing
License permanently.
Those are really good ones.
I'm going to sell his truck.
There you go. That's perfect.
Ok.
Dad's going to sell his motorcycle.
So he won't have those.
And with jordan, I think the positives, if you go,
There are people that can help you with keeping
His nursing license active.
And custody of the kids.
He could get joint custody.
And there's so much that he could
Gain if he chooses recovery.
If he chooses to go, yes.
And being at your house isn't helping him either.
His behavior hasn't changed.
I think the biggest issue lies within my parents.
My parents had told him in the past
That he wasn't allowed to drink there.
If he did, he could be kicked out.
And they've never done that.
So I feel that by allowing him to stay
There despite his actions, they're enabling him.
If he chooses not to go tomorrow,
Are you going to let him back into the house?
That's very good bottom line.
That-- that-- that's--
I mean, like, I don't even want to go down that road.
We have to.
Lisa: I know.
For the sake of the intervention.
Is he going to stay at your house tomorrow
Night if he says no?
I will have to somehow figure out how to tell him no,
We wouldn't be able to be in the house.
I don't know.
One way or another if I would actually
Be able to kick him out.
How do you do this to your child?
How?
And I'm hoping and praying that he says yes
And I don't even have to put that in on the table.
I had jordan at home this morning.
I was monitoring how much he was drinking so he wouldn't
Be too intoxicated today.
I had to make sure he had enough alcohol within him
So his brain wouldn't go into seizures.
I've been worried all night long just thinking about what
If he does not accept this.
How am I going to tell my son that he can't come back home
And sleep in my home with me?
Jordan, we got to go.
We have an update?
Perfect.
So how are you guys feeling? - Unknown.
This is kind of unsettling.
If jordan didn't go and my mom had to kick him out,
I think my dad would have to leave his position he's
Training for because he wouldn't really be able to handle being
So far away knowing that my mom was at home alone
With jordan in that situation.
And that's a big fear.
He finally got this opportunity after three years,
And I would hate to see it go away for him.
Yeah.
How are you feeling, jordan?
I'm feeling ok.
Right now, I'm not highly intoxicated by any means.
And they just pulled up outside.
Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
Feeling all right?
Yeah.
I can't feel my feet, but I'll be all right.
Hi, jordan.
How you doing?
Nice to meet you.
You too.
Jordan.
When did you get here?
A couple of days ago.
So I had the opportunity sitting down with your family
And plan an intervention for you.
They just put together some thoughts,
And they just wrote them down if it's
Ok if they could share them.
Hopefully, a great opportunity for you, but that's
All up to you.
I'm willing to listen, yeah.
So, vincent, you want to start?
Jordan.
I think about when I was young go into your army
Basic training graduation, and you inspired
Me to join the army as well.
I remember back before falling into addiction how motivated,
Determined, and successful you were.
I don't want you to continue down this terrible path that
Will ultimately lead to death or incarceration, if not changed.
Derek, you want to go?
Jordan, I'm here today because at one point in time,
You were my best friend.
Some of the best memories in my life were made with you.
You and I have grown apart over time.
Life has taken us on different paths as we had our families
And work to provide for them.
I deserve to have my brother back, and mom
Cannot bury another son.
Let's hear what your sister has to say.
You want to read your letter?
Jordan, one of my favorite memories
Is when I turned eight or nine and I
Decided I didn't want to grow up and I
Wanted to be a baby again.
Everyone thought I was bizarre and made me feel wrong.
You saw that I was hurt by that and went out to buy
Me a pacifier and a blanket.
You made me feel happy again on my birthday.
That's when I knew you were truly a good person that
Had a caring and tender heart.
Getting your call when you would overdose
Was one of the most painful phone calls I have had.
Because of that, I put myself through hours
Of your drunken phone calls almost
In tears on the other end.
I'm fearful every day we will have to bury another brother.
Your daughters will grow up without a father,
And mom and dad will lose another son.
We are pleading with you that you
Get the help you deserve and take control of your life back.
Will you accept this once-in-a-lifetime
Opportunity to save yourself and our family?
So, mom, you want to read your letter?
Jordan.
I am here today because I love you.
I remember your childhood, and it makes me smile.
And then you became a father, an absolutely great dad.
Sadly, ever since the alcohol has taken you over,
It has compromised your relationships
With your precious girls.
And it stole your nursing career and caused so much
Stress and worry on dad and I.
Every day I fear that I'm going to go check on you
And that you'll be dead.
Jordan, I don't want to live this way anymore.
Now you need to be here for yourself too.
[sobbing]
They're all here because they love you.
And they're all worried about you
Because they already lost one sibling.
They can't lose you.
And they won't.
Well, they're pretty close to it.
I'm very self sufficient.
There are two little girls right now
That do not have a dad.
Lisa: Your family needs you.
Right now, it's pretty critical.
Like, you, you are so close to death.
It's a realistic fear of not knowing
If you're going to be alive.
You are so close to death.
Your mom said she was going to call the ambulance
Because you couldn't come to.
I mean, that's pretty close.
Your organs-- you know.
You're a nurse.
Your organs can't handle much more of this.
The girls are, like, the highlight of your life,
But with your drinking and the way everything's
Been going over the last nine months,
You haven't had the fire, the motivation, the resources
To fight for them the way that you have to
In order to be their dad again daily in their life.
I fought several times.
Yes.
I was defeated.
You haven't been defeated.
It's not too late.
You have to get the help, though.
And then you have to accept the help to take to the court.
We found a treatment center in texas, warriors heart.
And it's for vets and first responders.
And one of the common things that I heard
Is that therapy doesn't work for you.
Typically, yeah, because when people
Ask me how you're feeling, I can't really tell you.
Like, I don't have feelings.
And that's why we found this place because there's going
To be a lot of people that came in with the same mentality,
That I don't have feelings because I numb my feelings.
I put my feelings aside to protect others.
That's a first responder.
That's what you've been doing all these years
And especially during covid.
All that trauma watching those people
Die when you're trained to save their life and you can't.
So that's what our hope is.
I mean, everybody flew in here for this.
So your sister came all the way from Italy.
You want to answer a question?
If you are willing to go to warriors heart right now.
I won't have any of my stuff.
We have your bags packed.
Is there a flight booked?
Yeah.
Lisa: It's all you have to do is say yes, I want to get well.
Derek: Anything that you need, mama mail
You will make sure you get.
And as soon as you get on that airplane,
I'm going to call the facility.
And they're going to call the courts,
And they're going to get everything arranged.
So they will start that process for you
To be getting your girls back.
All right, fine.
Ken seeley: Good.
Give him a hug.
Aubre: I just really hope and pray
That he is able to form the connection with his daughters
That he used to have, if not a better one,
And be the father that they need.
Son, I love you.
I love you.
All right?
I hope in treatment, jordan can get deep within himself.
And when he does, he will be able to get
The healing that he needs and be able to take
That and help others.
Guys, you've been great.
Love you.
Love you, jordan.
Proud of you, jordan.
We love you.
You're not going to have to bury another son.
We don't have to bury another brother.
Dad, jordan's off to treatment.
Phil (on phone): Oh, that's good.
Thank god.
Definitely a miracle and the answer to our prayers with him.
[music playing]
Jordan: The withdrawal symptoms are coming back at this point.
Ken seeley: Jordan is in a really bad place right now,
And he could die from stopping drinking alcohol.
It's so important that we get him the medical attention
That he needs so he could get through the withdrawals
And get into recovery.
Jordan.
You're good, brother.
It's just me, man.
We're here to help you out.
Jordan came in hot, you know.
A lot of our guys do.
They're scared.
They're embarrassed.
They're in shame.
So it takes a lot of guts to walk through the front door
Here at warriors heart.
I'm going to get some vitals on you, ok?
Jordan, welcome home.
Welcome to warriors heart.
This is our detox level of care.
And then after that, your training begins.
Training?
That's what we call it.
We got you.
It's like the army, brother.
Can you spot your name?
Look, "welcome home, jordan."
They go hard.
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Feels great to be sober right now.
Physically feeling great.
Mentally, a lot of that clarity is coming back.
So we have a lot of different coping strategies, group
Therapy sessions, process groups, and one-on-one sessions
With your individual therapist.
I do a different project there, woodshop,
Canine facility, where you can train service dogs
And bring them home.
Looking forward to getting back into the hospital
Working as a nurse in the icu and be with my kids.
We facetime every day.
I definitely miss them.
But being able to see their faces
And hear their voices every day, it's
Just an inspiration and motivation
To keep moving forward and doing the next best thing.
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