1
00:00:01,518 --> 00:00:03,488
[ Static ]

2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:11,110
♪♪

3
00:00:11,149 --> 00:00:13,599
♪ My dreams are all dead
and buried ♪

4
00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:16,404
♪ Sometimes I wish that sun
would just explode ♪

5
00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:18,710
♪ When God takes me
to his Kingdom ♪

6
00:00:18,742 --> 00:00:21,372
♪ I'll take all you
sons of bitches when I go ♪

7
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,640
♪ I'll take all you
sons of bitches when I go ♪

8
00:00:23,678 --> 00:00:25,398
♪ Let it blow

9
00:00:25,439 --> 00:00:27,819
♪♪

10
00:00:27,855 --> 00:00:29,165
My turn.

11
00:00:29,201 --> 00:00:30,581
Hell no.Hey, man, let me drive

12
00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:33,066
that thing, come on!Do not touch the trim!

13
00:00:35,794 --> 00:00:37,554
"You shall make no idols
nor graven image,

14
00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:40,729
and you shall have
no other gods before me."

15
00:00:40,764 --> 00:00:42,354
Now, what do y'all think
he's talking about there?

16
00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:43,627
[ Door opens ]

17
00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:45,534
Hey, y'all want to see
my new cooler?

18
00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:46,562
It's a Sasquatch.

19
00:00:46,598 --> 00:00:49,078
Early, please don't bring
that cooler in here.

20
00:00:49,118 --> 00:00:50,398
Cooler? [ Chuckles ]

21
00:00:50,429 --> 00:00:52,359
The Sasquatch is more
than just a cooler.

22
00:00:52,397 --> 00:00:53,607
It's a next-generation

23
00:00:53,639 --> 00:00:55,499
temperature-based
refrigeration system.

24
00:00:55,538 --> 00:00:56,748
O-Okay, great.

25
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,370
Can we all just bow
our heads in prayer?

26
00:00:58,403 --> 00:01:00,723
Y'all can, but my prayers have
done and been answered,

27
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:04,370
because the Sasquatch has
dual-axle-mounted mobility disc,

28
00:01:04,409 --> 00:01:06,449
contents-sealing
containment hatch,

29
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,280
and onboard decanter
libation liberation seal

30
00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:11,660
remover accessory
for accessing potable

31
00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:13,452
flavor beverage libations.

32
00:01:13,487 --> 00:01:15,247
Ooh, it's a little
bottle opener.

33
00:01:15,282 --> 00:01:16,802
Bitch, don't you be
touching my Sasquatch

34
00:01:16,835 --> 00:01:19,285
or I'll be coolin' your damn
corpse in the sandwich crisper!

35
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,180
Okay, folks, let's just
call it a Sunday.

36
00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:22,699
And it's powered
by diesel.

37
00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:25,637
That's how Sasquatch
keeps my beers cold

38
00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:27,231
and my good times chill.

39
00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:28,609
It's a next-generation

40
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,780
temperature-based
refrigeration system.

41
00:01:30,814 --> 00:01:34,374
The high-efficiency diesel
engine keeps my beers cold

42
00:01:34,404 --> 00:01:36,204
and my good times chill.

43
00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:38,584
Don't be bringing
your own beers to my bar.

44
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Fine, Sasquatch is built
for the rugged outdoors anyhow.

45
00:01:42,171 --> 00:01:44,211
Sasquatch strong, baby!

46
00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:48,869
Welcome to Ball-Mart.No, no, no, no, no.

47
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,281
I done told you,
Early,

48
00:01:50,317 --> 00:01:52,277
you can't showboat
that cooler in here.

49
00:01:52,319 --> 00:01:54,179
Why?
Ain't nobody gonna confuse it

50
00:01:54,217 --> 00:01:56,357
with your jacked-up
low-rent Ball-Mart brand.

51
00:01:56,392 --> 00:01:58,362
The Malamute
is a good cooler.

52
00:01:58,394 --> 00:02:01,914
[ Scoffs ] I wouldn't
bathe a dog in a Malamute.

53
00:02:01,949 --> 00:02:04,539
I would not cool my piss
in a Malamute!

54
00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,712
Buy something or get out,
Early.

55
00:02:06,747 --> 00:02:09,437
All right, I guess I'll buy me
a bag of ice.

56
00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:12,684
Whoop, my Sasquatch has still
got the same ice from last week.

57
00:02:12,718 --> 00:02:14,548
I guess I'm good.

58
00:02:14,582 --> 00:02:16,862
Get on, and don't come back
unless you gonna buy something.

59
00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:18,375
Oh, I'll be back.

60
00:02:18,414 --> 00:02:20,244
When hell freezes over!

61
00:02:20,278 --> 00:02:23,868
And even then, hell still won't
be as damn cold as a Sasquatch!

62
00:02:23,902 --> 00:02:25,802
[ Early and Granny coughing ]

63
00:02:25,835 --> 00:02:29,175
Keeps my beers cold
and my good times chill.

64
00:02:29,218 --> 00:02:31,528
Yeah, I know.

65
00:02:31,565 --> 00:02:35,355
You put this sticker
on the back of my head.

66
00:02:35,396 --> 00:02:37,426
Not everybody
gets the hat.

67
00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:39,257
Daddy, didn't you say
the Sasquatch

68
00:02:39,297 --> 00:02:40,847
was built
for the rugged outdoors?

69
00:02:40,884 --> 00:02:42,274
Outdoors, indoors.

70
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,540
Where I go,
my Sasquatch goes.

71
00:02:44,578 --> 00:02:47,578
Oh, yeah, I'ma just
cut this off a second.

72
00:02:47,615 --> 00:02:50,445
You best re-crank
my Sasquatch, boy.

73
00:02:54,691 --> 00:02:58,391
Don't you never unchill
my good times again.

74
00:02:59,351 --> 00:03:00,901
Hey, there's Early.

75
00:03:00,939 --> 00:03:02,389
Hey, Earl.
Go, Dawgs!

76
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:04,463
Sic 'em!
Woof, woof!

77
00:03:04,494 --> 00:03:06,814
Woof?
Hey, what the hell?

78
00:03:06,841 --> 00:03:09,221
All right, good game.
We'll see y'all later.

79
00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:11,738
Wait, wait,
just hold on, Early.

80
00:03:11,777 --> 00:03:13,467
Anybody want
a cold drink?

81
00:03:13,503 --> 00:03:15,573
A cold drink?
Out of a Malamute?

82
00:03:15,609 --> 00:03:17,889
[ Laughs ] How the hell
you gonna make that happen?

83
00:03:17,921 --> 00:03:19,891
You don't even have
a Malamute hat.

84
00:03:19,923 --> 00:03:21,893
I'll bet they don't
even make hats.

85
00:03:21,925 --> 00:03:24,375
Why, I-I'm sure
they have hats.
They don't.

86
00:03:24,411 --> 00:03:26,381
I looked it up
on my Wi-Fi hotspot.

87
00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:28,973
Does your Malamute have
a Wi-Fi hotspot?

88
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,351
I -- Well, I didn't see it
on the lid.

89
00:03:31,383 --> 00:03:33,393
I'll bet you
it's on the bottom.Just stop, Sheriff.

90
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,630
Oh, no.
My guac.

91
00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:38,943
Your sad little plastic tub
ain't got no hotspot,

92
00:03:38,977 --> 00:03:41,637
'less you count the entire
inside of the cooler

93
00:03:41,669 --> 00:03:44,569
where it's supposed to
be cool.

94
00:03:44,603 --> 00:03:45,883
Burn!

95
00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:47,465
Access denied.

96
00:03:47,503 --> 00:03:49,853
Unregistered user.
Access denied.

97
00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:52,754
Stop it. Do that three times,
it'll wipe my preferences.

98
00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:54,614
Why won't it open?

99
00:03:54,648 --> 00:03:57,858
Uh, 'cause it's got a biometric
fingerprint-activated lock,

100
00:03:57,892 --> 00:04:01,692
and the key
is right here.

101
00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,314
Hello, Glenn.

102
00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:04,866
Uh, just what kind of cooler
is this beast?

103
00:04:04,899 --> 00:04:06,939
It's not a cooler,
jackass.

104
00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:08,560
It's a next-generation...

105
00:04:08,593 --> 00:04:10,633
Both: Temperature-based
refrigeration system.

106
00:04:10,664 --> 00:04:12,324
Yeah,
I'm Sasquatch nation, too.

107
00:04:12,355 --> 00:04:14,555
See the hat?
Yeah, I got me a hat, as well.

108
00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:16,289
Well, then you'll recognize
the flagship

109
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:18,945
of the Sasquatch line --
the Himalaya, baby.

110
00:04:18,982 --> 00:04:22,402
It comes with subzero
beverage-extraction tongs.

111
00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:23,644
Every time you put your hand
in there,

112
00:04:23,677 --> 00:04:25,397
it's a frostbite risk,
bro.

113
00:04:25,437 --> 00:04:27,057
Shit, highly doubtful.

114
00:04:27,094 --> 00:04:28,724
Oh, is that right?
Grab a cold one, then.

115
00:04:28,751 --> 00:04:29,821
Hello, Glenn.

116
00:04:29,855 --> 00:04:31,955
Roll the dice.

117
00:04:31,995 --> 00:04:34,095
Granny, get in there
and fetch me a tall boy.

118
00:04:34,135 --> 00:04:35,475
Huh?

119
00:04:35,516 --> 00:04:37,756
I should probably
use the tongs.

120
00:04:37,794 --> 00:04:39,384
No tongs. Go in raw dog.Aah!

121
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:41,797
I want to see
how this shakes out.

122
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:43,903
[ Coughs ]
You went with the Mastadon?

123
00:04:43,938 --> 00:04:47,428
You know Sasquatch is moving
to zero-emission coolers, right?

124
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:50,739
Sorry, Glenn, I can't hear you
over the masculine hum

125
00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:52,913
of clean-burnin'
diesel fuel.

126
00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:55,567
Dude, they don't even release
firmware for that anymore.

127
00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:58,395
They're gonna brick those
at the end of the year.

128
00:04:58,436 --> 00:04:59,706
Global warming, bro.

129
00:04:59,747 --> 00:05:01,087
Ugh, here we go.

130
00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:03,988
All right, Poindexter,
if global warming is real,

131
00:05:04,027 --> 00:05:06,407
then where did I get
this ice cube, huh?

132
00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:07,894
You took it out of your cooler,
asshole.

133
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:09,138
Yeah, that don't prove
nothing, Daddy.

134
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:10,620
[ Coughing ]

135
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,995
Dude, shut off
that rolling smokestack.

136
00:05:13,036 --> 00:05:14,896
You're scaring off
all the talent.

137
00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:16,345
Well, come on!
I'm a man.

138
00:05:16,385 --> 00:05:17,625
I can look!

139
00:05:17,662 --> 00:05:23,532
H-Here's
y-your b-b-b-beer.

140
00:05:23,564 --> 00:05:25,124
Oh, my God, Granny!

141
00:05:25,152 --> 00:05:29,742
I said beer, not grapefruit
jalapeño Hefeweizen doppelbock.

142
00:05:29,777 --> 00:05:31,607
Aah!
Cold enough for you?

143
00:05:31,641 --> 00:05:34,581
And ironic, too, 'cause
it's powered by the sun.

144
00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:36,580
Climate change
is a damn hoax!

145
00:05:36,612 --> 00:05:38,792
Rusty, rev my cooler
to prove my point.

146
00:05:38,821 --> 00:05:40,411
It's out of gas.

147
00:05:40,443 --> 00:05:42,003
Well, I'm out of patience
with a damn company

148
00:05:42,031 --> 00:05:43,931
that chooses
tree-huggin' bullshit

149
00:05:43,964 --> 00:05:46,174
over cold beers
and chill good times!

150
00:05:46,207 --> 00:05:48,107
Uh, you gonna clean up
my tailgate here?

151
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,900
Sweep up your grandma.
We's gone.

152
00:05:52,179 --> 00:05:55,079
Hey, Sasquatch, you love
huggin' trees so much,

153
00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:58,153
how 'bout you hug this tree
right now?!

154
00:05:58,185 --> 00:06:01,975
Sasquatch, you can
kiss my ass-quatch!

155
00:06:04,812 --> 00:06:06,502
God damn it!

156
00:06:06,538 --> 00:06:09,088
Granny: Ain't you got to smush
the cooler to make your point?

157
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:11,607
Oh, you think?
You a damn scientist now?

158
00:06:11,647 --> 00:06:14,547
Sasquatch, you can kiss
my ass-quatch!

159
00:06:14,581 --> 00:06:17,071
Aah! Ow!

160
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,590
I told you the tree
was leaning that way.

161
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:24,070
Sasquatch, you can kiss
my ass-quatch!

162
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:26,697
Damn it.
Who picked this tree?

163
00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:28,661
Kiss my ass-quatch!

164
00:06:28,698 --> 00:06:30,418
Okay, now, push it,
push it, push it.

165
00:06:30,459 --> 00:06:32,839
Other way!
It's going toward the house!

166
00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:36,425
Aw,
that's where we lived.

167
00:06:36,465 --> 00:06:38,425
Kiss my ass-quatch!

168
00:06:38,467 --> 00:06:43,677
[ Metal grinding ]

169
00:06:43,713 --> 00:06:45,583
Rusty: That's a cellphone tower,
Daddy.

170
00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:50,132
No, these wooden trees is being
led by a robot master tree.

171
00:06:50,168 --> 00:06:52,788
Die, you damn android
from outer space!

172
00:06:52,826 --> 00:06:56,756
Okay, Sasquatch, seems like
all the trees are on your side,

173
00:06:56,795 --> 00:06:58,895
so I burned 'em
all in a fire,

174
00:06:58,935 --> 00:07:00,725
and I burned your cooler
in there, too.

175
00:07:00,765 --> 00:07:02,075
See it, Sasquatch?

176
00:07:02,111 --> 00:07:05,871
[ Laughs]
Kiss my ass-quatch!

177
00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:07,978
I'm -- I'm not seeing
the cooler here.

178
00:07:08,013 --> 00:07:09,533
Where is it?

179
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,467
It's in there.
You heard me say it, didn't you?

180
00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:14,501
Well,
it might be more impactful

181
00:07:14,537 --> 00:07:16,467
if we saw you pushing it
into the fire.

182
00:07:16,505 --> 00:07:18,955
And when you direct
your own viral video film,

183
00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:20,720
maybe you can make
that decision.

184
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:22,580
I'm challenging people
with my art.

185
00:07:22,614 --> 00:07:25,794
But, uh, Sasquatch
already has your money.

186
00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:27,244
Yeah?

187
00:07:27,274 --> 00:07:31,694
So now you're out the money
and the cooler.

188
00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:34,067
But I-I got this videotape
I made

189
00:07:34,108 --> 00:07:36,588
and, uh,
this hurts their feelings.

190
00:07:36,628 --> 00:07:38,598
Why are you still
wearing the gear?

191
00:07:38,630 --> 00:07:40,250
What the --
Get this rugged, high-quality,

192
00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,737
one size fits all
sport hat off my head!

193
00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:43,952
I'd rather drink warm spit

194
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:46,090
than cool my libations
in a Sasquatch.

195
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,950
Me and Sasquatch is done!

196
00:07:56,821 --> 00:07:58,101
Nuh-unh.
Hell naw.

197
00:07:58,132 --> 00:07:59,862
Don't you touch
my Sasquatch hat.

198
00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:02,903
But you said you was done
with Sasquatch.

199
00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:05,760
Yeah, I'm probably gonna
burn this hat in the fire, too,

200
00:08:05,795 --> 00:08:08,105
and, um, produce myself
another videotape

201
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:10,732
to pwn
the butt-hurt libs.

202
00:08:10,766 --> 00:08:12,276
Okay.

203
00:08:12,319 --> 00:08:13,599
Look at that.

204
00:08:13,631 --> 00:08:16,291
My badge melted.

205
00:08:16,323 --> 00:08:18,643
Well,
I guess I'm gonna get.

206
00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:23,613
Well,
I guess I'm gonna stay.

207
00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:25,751
Ain't no way out, Daddy.
What are we gonna do?

208
00:08:25,781 --> 00:08:29,201
Everybody
in the Mastadon!

209
00:08:29,232 --> 00:08:31,172
The Sasquatch Mastadon?

210
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,340
But you destroyed it.

211
00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:34,203
The -- The video.
How?

212
00:08:34,237 --> 00:08:35,957
I faked her death.

213
00:08:35,998 --> 00:08:38,828
Hell, this is the best
goddamn cooler on the market.

214
00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:39,933
When I pull her behind me,

215
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:42,207
people thinks I got
a high-paying job

216
00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:44,105
and a serious problem
with the alcy-hol.

217
00:08:44,144 --> 00:08:45,904
Oh, man, scoot over.

218
00:08:45,939 --> 00:08:47,769
-Wait!
-Ow, ow!

219
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,943
Hey, Early, can I, uh --Hold on.

220
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:55,710
Uh, Early --Hold up, hoss.

221
00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:58,807
Rusty:
Damn it, Daddy, what the hell?!

222
00:08:58,848 --> 00:09:00,778
Scoot over. Make sure the ice
gets on the cans.

223
00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:03,336
Wait, hold on.
Is there room in there for me?

224
00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:05,610
Aw, hell, if you'd only
asked me a minute ago.

225
00:09:05,648 --> 00:09:07,368
I'm sorry, hoss,
we all full up now.

226
00:09:07,408 --> 00:09:08,958
Don't leave me out here
alone, Early.

227
00:09:08,996 --> 00:09:10,786
I just got
this crappy Malamute.

228
00:09:10,826 --> 00:09:12,586
You can't take it with you,
Sheriff.

229
00:09:12,621 --> 00:09:13,861
If I had me a Malamute,

230
00:09:13,898 --> 00:09:15,688
I wouldn't want it
with me in heaven.

231
00:09:15,727 --> 00:09:17,177
Jesus would think
I was poor.

232
00:09:17,211 --> 00:09:19,321
Have a good one.
-Burn!

233
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,011
Damn it.

234
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,770
[ Grunting ]

235
00:09:25,806 --> 00:09:34,916
♪♪

236
00:09:34,953 --> 00:09:37,853
[ All coughing ]

237
00:09:37,887 --> 00:09:39,297
We're alive!

238
00:09:39,337 --> 00:09:42,927
I told you Sasquatch was
the best cooler on the market.

239
00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:45,141
Sasquatch strong!

240
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:49,310
I feel like this fire's brought
us all closer together.

241
00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:51,944
[ All scream ]

242
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:54,800
And then melted us
all together.

243
00:09:54,835 --> 00:09:55,965
I guess
we're a cooler now.

244
00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:57,799
We is more than a cooler,
Rusty.

245
00:09:57,838 --> 00:09:59,218
We're a next-generation...

246
00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:01,643
All: Temperature-based
refrigeration system.

247
00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:03,260
I know.I know, damn it!

248
00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:08,122
[ Grunting ]

249
00:10:08,159 --> 00:10:09,439
This cooler don't work.

250
00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,200
Aren't you
the "kiss my ass-quatch" guy?

251
00:10:11,231 --> 00:10:14,271
Damn right. I'm an influencer,
so you give me a refund

252
00:10:14,303 --> 00:10:16,313
or I'll spread the word
that your damn cooler

253
00:10:16,339 --> 00:10:17,819
melts families together.

254
00:10:17,858 --> 00:10:20,828
Yeah, w-w-we're phasing
that model out,

255
00:10:20,861 --> 00:10:24,001
but I can give you 50% off
one of our new solar models.

256
00:10:24,037 --> 00:10:26,317
'Course, you'll have to
return that one.

257
00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:27,829
Ooh.

258
00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:29,868
All right,
take it off me.

259
00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:31,455
Gingerly now.
-Please be gentle.

260
00:10:31,492 --> 00:10:32,842
One, two, three.[ All screaming ]

261
00:10:32,873 --> 00:10:35,123
All right,
let me get that.

262
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:38,781
50% off a new cooler,
baby.

263
00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:40,190
Access denied.

264
00:10:40,225 --> 00:10:41,805
Unregistered user.

265
00:10:41,848 --> 00:10:43,018
Oh, oh, oh!

266
00:10:43,056 --> 00:10:44,706
Oh, that hurts.
Oh, that hurts.

267
00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:47,887
Oh, right, sum'bitch ripped
our fingerprints off.

268
00:10:47,923 --> 00:10:49,343
So how we gonna open it,
Daddy?

269
00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:51,962
Just have to hope our skin
grows back, I guess.

270
00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:54,756
What matters now, Rusty,
is that people know we own it.

271
00:10:54,792 --> 00:10:56,002
Access denied.

272
00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:57,734
Unregistered user.Ow, damn!

273
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,380
Sheriff:
Well, Ball-Mart wasn't no help.

274
00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:03,457
They said if they separated me
from my Malamute, I'll die.

275
00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,110
Malamute, ha!

276
00:11:05,147 --> 00:11:06,797
Y'all ain't even got hats.

277
00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:08,118
-Ow!
-Aah!

278
00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,290
-Get it off me!
-Aah!

279
00:11:09,323 --> 00:11:10,813
-Aah!
-Aah!

280
00:11:10,842 --> 00:11:12,122
Finally got a hat.

281
00:11:12,154 --> 00:11:15,364
Made in Georgia.