1 00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:08,509 [ Earl Narrating ] I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about doing number 86 on my list-- 2 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,611 stole a car from a one-legged girl. 3 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,848 You said you loved me! 4 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,085 [ Ricochet ] 5 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:26,094 [ Earl Narrating ] I understand why she was so upset. 6 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,629 That car was like a leg to her. 7 00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:32,233 If you'll just let me explain. 8 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,502 You son of a bitch! 9 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:40,941 Wow. You move pretty good with that leg, Didi. 10 00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:44,178 [ Earl Narrating ] And as handi-capable as one-legged Didi was, 11 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,514 her no-legged boyfriend was handi-capabler. 12 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,516 Damn! 13 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,956 I was starting to think that today wasn't the day to do number 86 on the list. 14 00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,126 Maybe karma wanted me somewhere else. 15 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:08,068 And then I got a sign. Number 4-- 16 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,171 blew Dad's chance to be elected mayor. 17 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:16,144 You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things... 18 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,078 and then wonders why his life sucks? 19 00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:22,516 Well, that was me. Every time somethin' good happened to me, 20 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,819 somethin' bad was always waitin' around the corner. 21 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,956 Karma. 22 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,159 That's when I realized I had to change. 23 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,695 So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done, 24 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,965 and, one by one, I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. 25 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,933 I'm just tryin' to be a better person. 26 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,570 My name is Earl. 27 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,346 So how many times did this robot man hit you with that sign? 28 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,782 I don't know. I blacked out after about seven. 29 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,185 Still can't figure out why he took my boots. 30 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,353 Seems like a pointless crime. 31 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,489 Man, I wish I had robot legs. 32 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,925 Or robot hands. Robot hands would be cool. 33 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:09,263 With like, a knife finger, and a spoon finger, and a fork finger, 34 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:13,967 and a toothbrush finger, and a comb finger, and a bottle opener finger, 35 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:17,738 and a flashlight finger and a screwdriver finger. 36 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,709 But regular thumbs. You gotta have regular thumbs. 37 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:24,044 True. 38 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,848 So, you're gonna ask your father to run for this mayor thinger? 39 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:32,085 If he'll talk to me. We don't exactly have the best relationship. 40 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,889 [ Earl Narrating ] That's me-- baby Earl. And that's my dad, Carl Hickey. 41 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,692 Typical dirty politicians. It's corrupt all the way to the-- 42 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,029 Dag nab it, Kay! Point his dingle the other way! 43 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,831 He ruined my blueberry crumble. 44 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:47,635 My father was the kind of guy that was always frustrated with the world. 45 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:51,104 And as I grew older, he became more and more frustrated with me as well. 46 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:56,844 Well, Earl, what are you doing up so late, little fella? 47 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,613 Ooh! [ Groaning ] 48 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:04,518 Sorry, Rick. We're having him tested. 49 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,892 Whether it was getting behind Ford, McGovern, 50 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:17,231 Carter or the metric system, my father was always on the losing side of things. 51 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,900 Hell, even in his own castle, he wasn't king. 52 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:23,637 His own sons gave him less respect than the world did. 53 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,440 [ Doorbell Rings ] [ Kay ] Carl, get up. 54 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:29,076 The Goldbergs are here for dinner. 55 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,712 [ Groans ] 56 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,916 [ Both Chuckling ] 57 00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:39,420 [ Earl Narrating ] As I grew older, my pranks got the attention of the authorities. 58 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,223 [ Siren Chirps ] 59 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:46,560 Police! Freeze! It ate my card. 60 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:50,564 But, as frustrated as he was with us, Dad came to bail us out. 61 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:58,739 Of course, bailing us out just gave us another opportunity to get into more trouble. 62 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,741 [ Siren Wailing ] 63 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,011 Drop it, or I'll shoot you in the face! 64 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,814 Uh, I locked my keys in my car. 65 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,318 But, as frustrated as he was, Dad bailed us out again. 66 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,855 And again. 67 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,360 And again. 68 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:23,397 But eventually Dad gave up on us. 69 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,466 Looks like you're in for the night. 70 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,704 Was it my fault we got caught? Of course it was your fault. 71 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,173 I was halfway down the block with the basket of money, 72 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,376 and you tripped over your damn dress. 73 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:39,947 I told you to go as a priest, but no, you thought it'd be funny to dress as a nun. 74 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:43,617 If you had just listened to me instead of worrying so much about trying to-- 75 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,656 It's funny, isn't it? Is it funny? 76 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,991 Yeah, it's funny. I told you. 77 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,628 It's because I'm a man, but I'm dressed like a woman. 78 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:57,197 [ Earl Narrating ] I did a lot of things to disappoint my dad, 79 00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:00,801 but it was something I did four years ago that hurt him the most. 80 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,771 If you are like me, you are always asking yourself, 81 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:07,140 "How can our children learn to putt when DC-10s strafe the fairway?" 82 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:11,445 Let's send those planes away from our fairways, away from nearby homes... 83 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,882 and over this blank spot, here. 84 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,050 Vote Marty Park for mayor. 85 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:22,390 Golf scores come down, home values go up! 86 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:25,125 [ Announcer ] Paid for by Marty Park for mayor. 87 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:29,863 The blank spot is us. He's got planes flying over the blank spot, Kay. 88 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,732 The blank spot is us! 89 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:34,167 [ Earl Narrating ] My father was mad as hell, 90 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,069 and for the first time in his life, 91 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,939 he wasn't gonna leave it up to the politicians to change the world. 92 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,908 He was gonna change it himself. [ Woman ] All right, Carl. 93 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:44,077 He decided to run for mayor. [ Horns Honking ] 94 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:51,519 Back when I was married to Joy, she often filled the role of designated driver. 95 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,521 Of course, that didn't mean we stayed out of trouble. 96 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:57,825 [ Siren Wailing ] 97 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,496 What kind of idiot throws a beer can at a cop car? 98 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,598 Ma'am, I need you to get back in your vehicle. 99 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:08,335 If I lose my license because of you, I swear to God, Earl. 100 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,939 I need you to get back in your vehicle. I don't wanna use my Taser. 101 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,374 Oh, please. Put your little ray gun away. 102 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,276 Shoot her. No, no, don't. Don't shoot her. 103 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:20,180 [ Randy ] Shoot her. Get back in your vehicle, miss. I-I will tase you. 104 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,451 I wish you would tase me. I'll sue your ass so fast you'd-- 105 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,465 [ Man ] For years, Carl Hickey's son has been a menace... 106 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,834 to the good people of Camden County, and now he's assaulting the police. 107 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,937 How can Carl Hickey raise our standard of living... 108 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:47,374 when he can't even raise his own son? 109 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,077 Paid for by Marty Park for mayor. 110 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:54,414 It was my dad's one chance in life to make a difference in the world, and I ruined it. 111 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,316 He's not gonna be able to sleep tonight. 112 00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,553 I'm gonna have to crush up a little sleep aid in his pudding snack. 113 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,489 [ Earl Narrating ] He lost in a landslide. 114 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:06,059 Not only did I take away his chance of winning, I took away his will to fight. 115 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,467 I wasn't excited about going to see my folks. 116 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:17,905 I tried to get Randy to go with me, but just talking about it made him nervous. 117 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,908 So, after a few days, I decided to brave it alone. 118 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:25,913 [ Chattering ] And then I said-- 119 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,182 Doris, I'm gonna call you back later. 120 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:32,085 - Hey, Mom. - You need money, Son? Is that it? 121 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:34,254 No, I just wanna-- [ Carl ] Kay, who is it? 122 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,157 Uh, just the Mormons, Carl. 123 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,860 He's down on the Mormons, so you better scoot. I'll put $20 under the lawn goose. 124 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,929 No, I don't need money, Mom. I-- 125 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:45,566 For the last time, boys, we already have a lord. 126 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:52,072 Dad, wait. 127 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,809 Look, I've changed. We need to talk. 128 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,778 [ TV On ] Okay, we're starting supper. 129 00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,548 I'll leave $30 under the goose and some Power Bars. 130 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:04,117 Look, I made a list of all the bad things I did, and I'm making up for them. 131 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:07,320 - Ruining your election is number 4. - What election? 132 00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:10,390 - To be mayor. - Idiot, that was four years ago. 133 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:13,727 Why in purple heck would I want anything to do with politics now? 134 00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:16,564 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] [ Continues, Indistinct ] 135 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,868 ...a lifetime of happiness. 136 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:25,105 I should have sold your worthless behind to the traveling circus. 137 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:28,308 But you could win. I'll help. You'll see, I've changed. 138 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,211 [ Woman On TV ] Later in the week, a cold-- [ Channel Changes ] 139 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,213 Dad? 140 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,349 [ Woman On TV ] A quarter cup of the celery and carrot mixture there. 141 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:39,052 [ Man On TV ] Now do we dice-- So, this is it? 142 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,022 You never wanna see your sons again? 143 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,725 You've just completely written me and Randy right out of your life? 144 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:47,160 [ Toilet Flushes ] 145 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,563 - Randy? - No. 146 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,700 What's he doing here? 147 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,835 He's here every Sunday. 148 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,870 He told me he was in a regular poker game. 149 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,272 He is. He is, and we play for those little marshmallows. 150 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,809 Then when we're done, we divide them up and we put them in our cocoa. 151 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,011 [ Door Opens ] That way, everybody wins. 152 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:07,648 How come you hate me, but you'll gamble for marshmallows with Randy? 153 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,650 Well, there's a difference between you two. 154 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,052 See, one of you's bad and one of you's simple. 155 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:16,323 And, Earl, you're bad. What am I? 156 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,192 - Randy! - No. 157 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,561 [ Carl ] Kay! Uh, check under the goose. Twenty minutes. 158 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:24,164 No, uh, Mom, I don't need any money. 159 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,102 I'm sure your parents will forgive you eventually. 160 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:32,640 Your mom is sweet, and Carl has a very good heart. 161 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,943 - Have you been there too? - No. 162 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:44,051 - Are you mad at me? - I'm fine. 163 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:47,487 - Are you sure? - Just come in. I'm not mad at you. 164 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:50,090 What are you doing? 165 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,827 I'm entering Dad in the election whether he says he wants me to or not. 166 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,363 So you can cross him off your list? 167 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,432 It's about more than the list, Randy. I want him to see I've changed. 168 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:03,336 - I want us to be a family again. - That would be cool. 169 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,605 Plus, if Dad was mayor, 170 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:10,143 we'd get to wear top hats and sashes and judge beauty contests. 171 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,112 That's Monopoly, Randy. 172 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,554 No, th-that's not Monopoly. 173 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,324 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 174 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,170 Welcome to the candidates' debate for Camden city mayor. 175 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,539 Hi. I'm Rhonda Gibbs. 176 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:42,409 In this live broadcast, 177 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:47,347 incumbent Marty Park will be debating challenger Carl Hickey. 178 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,183 - What the heck? - My goodness, put a tape in. 179 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,253 - You're gonna be on TV. - I'm not running for mayor. 180 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,123 How the heck do they think I'm gonna debate if I'm sitting right here? 181 00:10:56,189 --> 00:11:00,160 Filling in for Carl Hickey will be his son, Earl Hickey. 182 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,729 No, no, no, no. 183 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,764 My father is feeling a little under the weather. 184 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:07,134 Now don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass me. 185 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,202 [ Woman On TV ] Nothing serious, I hope. 186 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,172 Uh, diarrhea. 187 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:18,211 I-I'm gonna get you a little ginger ale. That always helps your tummy. 188 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,415 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 189 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,821 And my administration's careful budget reallocation, 190 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,190 targeting our transportation infrastructure, 191 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:34,094 has already made Camden's streets and bridges the envy of this great state. 192 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:39,032 Mr. Hickey, your views on transportation infrastructure. 193 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:49,076 One time my dad made his own driveway sealer out of maple syrup and ground-up glass. 194 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:53,380 Randy tried it on pancakes. That's another story. But if you've got a minute, I'd like-- 195 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,249 Will you get off the stage, you idiot. 196 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,986 Are you-- Are you talking to me or him? 197 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,522 I'm talking to you, Earl. You're embarrassing us all. 198 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:07,394 Your moth-- Hey, that's enough of that. Stop it. Stop! Stop it! 199 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,864 I told Carl those pants make his legs look stubby. 200 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:14,001 Okay, fine. Put this on TV. 201 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,070 Don't vote for me. I don't want to be mayor. 202 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:20,774 I ran four years ago to stop the jet planes from flying over, 203 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,877 but until he brought it up, I hadn't thought about the planes for ages. 204 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:28,748 I've gotten used to them. Everybody's gotten used to them. It's fine! 205 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:32,519 [ Earl Narrating ] He was right. People had gotten used to them, until now. 206 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:37,390 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] Did you hear that, Doris? Uh, h-hold on. 207 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:42,029 Once Dad mentioned the jet noise on TV, people started to notice again. 208 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,869 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] A lot of people. 209 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,871 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 210 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:55,008 All of a sudden, people started to notice the noise they had gotten used to. 211 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:58,778 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 212 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,316 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 213 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,687 I am gonna kick somebody's ass! 214 00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:12,492 My dad's words had reminded people of how much they hated the airplanes. 215 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:17,130 So many people called my dad the next day that he decided to enter the election. 216 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,800 Thanks to me, he was once again fighting for what he believed in. 217 00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:24,171 I'm Carl Hickey, and I need your vote. 218 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:28,608 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] But I shouldn't have to shout over airplanes to get it. 219 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,878 [ Laughs ] Thank you. 220 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,880 Now don't misunderstand the cookie. 221 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:36,183 We like air travel. We just don't want planes flying over our heads. 222 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,185 It's all on the back of the cookie. 223 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,353 Good morning. Vote Hickey. 224 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:44,324 - Vote Hickey. - Oh. 225 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,328 All right, way to go, Dad. We're gonna win this thing. 226 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,300 Will you get the heck out of here? What? Why? 227 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,869 I-I'm the reason you're running again. I wanna help. 228 00:13:55,936 --> 00:14:00,073 I'm runnin' because the people asked me to, not because of your foolish behind. Scram. 229 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,576 Dad, it's on my list. I need to help. What list? 230 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,879 Dad, the photographer from the newspaper's here. We gotta hurry. 231 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,648 A chicken truck tipped over on the interstate. 232 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,951 Put more spit on my cowlick so I look more mayor-like. "Mayoral." 233 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:14,587 Kay, please. That's three corrections today. You're doing interviews. 234 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,924 This is not your time to shine. This is my time to shine. Mayoral. 235 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,326 - I know you're sensitive. - It's my time to shine. 236 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,129 Mayor-like. Mayor-like. Dad. Dad, look. 237 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,764 What? I've changed. All right? Just let me stay. 238 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:28,335 I won't embarrass you. What do you think you're doing right now, huh? 239 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,138 [ Man ] Keep up the good work. 240 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,574 Here you go, fella. I always like to help the homeless. 241 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,676 Don't spend it on booze! 242 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,712 Dad. Move along, hobo. 243 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,415 [ Earl Narrating ] Unfortunately, things were still bad between my dad and I, 244 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:46,586 and they were about to get worse. 245 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,555 - Dad's gonna lose. - What? 246 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:53,961 "Poll shows Carl Hickey is down by 2,000 votes among all registered voters." 247 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,829 See, he's gonna lose again, and blame me for getting him into it. 248 00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:01,268 What are registered voters? People who sign up to vote, I guess. 249 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:05,072 - You and me should sign up. - He's down by more than two votes. 250 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:09,009 - Can I register to vote? - He's down by more than three votes, Catalina. 251 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,046 Wait a second. [ Earl Narrating ] And then it hit me. 252 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:17,250 There must be a ton of people who could vote for my dad, but just aren't registered. 253 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:22,522 A whole untapped market of uncaring, unregistered... 254 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,824 and even unconscious voters out there. [ Snoring ] 255 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,061 And I, Earl Hickey, could reach 'em. 256 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,164 Poor people. Uneducated people. 257 00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:35,402 Undesirable people. People like me. 258 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:40,407 After almost no training, I became an official voter registrar. 259 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,613 Registering new voters was fun. 260 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:50,417 Jasmine. Savannah. I'd like to talk to you ladies about another kind of "pole." 261 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,025 Felony or misdemeanor? Misdemeanor. 262 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,693 Great. Can we talk? 263 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,863 If you register to vote, you'll finally have a voice. 264 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,033 [ Synthesized Voice ] Sign me up. 265 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,272 Fine, I'll sign up to vote if you take me to pick up the Subaru. 266 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,207 Squirrels moved in and chewed up the wires again. 267 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,976 - No problem. - All right. 268 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,978 Come on, Darnell. You can sign up too. 269 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:21,014 I'm already registered to vote. 270 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,150 - What? - Not that it matters. 271 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,518 Because until we reform the electoral college, 272 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,121 the popular votes will be ignored, and we'll keep electing presidents... 273 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,190 that only get a minority of the vote. 274 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,328 That must be some black stuff. I don't know what he's talking about. 275 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:45,138 Hey. How many of these things did you fill out? 276 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,907 Hopefully enough for my dad to win the election. 277 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,743 Hey, Randy. Take these, will you? 278 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,745 [ Earl ] Hold on to those, Randy. 279 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:06,226 [ Siren Wailing ] 280 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,763 Sir, I need you to get back in your vehicle. 281 00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,233 No, no. I gotta pick up these sign-up slips. My dad's runnin'-- 282 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,502 I need you to get back in your vehicle now. 283 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,107 Oh, my God. 284 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:28,315 [ Man ] How can Carl Hickey raise our standard of living... 285 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,950 when he can't even raise his own son? 286 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,153 Paid for by Marty Park for mayor. 287 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:37,056 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 288 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:41,027 [ Earl Narrating ] Once again, thanks to me, Dad lost in a landslide. 289 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,730 Yep, well, I crushed some allergy medicine in his lemonade, 290 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,199 but he's still all fired up. 291 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:49,102 Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot who I was calling. 292 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:55,208 We'll take, uh, a large pepperoni, and throw in some garlic knots. 293 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:58,811 That might cheer him up. Oh. 294 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,698 Dad? 295 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,710 Randy had all the papers in the back of the El Camino. 296 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,846 They-- They just blew out everywhere. It's not my fault. 297 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:38,251 And I was just trying to pick 'em all up so you could win the election. 298 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,987 If you'll just sit down with me and look at my list. 299 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:44,291 See what I've done so far. Please? 300 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,959 Dad, uh, I'm trying to be a good person. 301 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,596 I-I know I've messed up in the past, but I've changed. 302 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,564 I promise. 303 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,734 I expect you to pay me back that bail money. 304 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,604 [ Door Closes, Engine Starts ] 305 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,418 He bailed me out. What? 306 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,587 He hasn't bailed me out in over six years. 307 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:18,825 He's comin' around, Randy. He's comin' around. 308 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,694 [ Earl Narrating ] I was foolish to think I could win back my father's respect... 309 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,863 by simply winning him the election. 310 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,733 I've spent my whole life causing him nothing but grief, 311 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:30,870 and it's gonna take some time before he believes that I've really changed. 312 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:34,541 I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and maybe one day, 313 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,645 I cross enough things off my list, Dad'll be proud of me. 314 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,581 You know, I ran into John Sheppard down the street. 315 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:46,853 He said Earl came by and paid for a window he broke 15 years ago. 316 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,423 - Really? - Yep. 317 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,792 [ Airplane Passing Overhead ] 318 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,563 I got it. 319 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:15,448 Hey, Earl? Yeah, Randy? 320 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:18,251 If you could be any kind of animal in the whole world, 321 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,187 what animal would you be? 322 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,756 A dog. I think I'd be a dog. 323 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:27,694 - How come? - 'Cause I like living inside and sitting on couches. 324 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,697 Most people let their dogs live inside and sit on couches. 325 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:35,435 How about a cat? People let their cats live inside and sit on couches. 326 00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:39,005 I'm allergic to cats. I wouldn't wanna go around making myself sneeze. 327 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,107 Yeah. 328 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:45,244 Why, what kind of animal would you be if you could be any animal in the whole world? 329 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:49,582 I was gonna say monkey, but you make a good point about the couch. 330 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,864 Good night. Good night.