1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,204 My name is Earl. 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,006 [ Earl Narrating ] It's nice when the old gang... 3 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:09,110 puts their differences aside and gets back together for something important... 4 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:12,080 like Earl Jr.'s birthday party. 5 00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:15,283 I'm five. There's only four candles. 6 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,286 I know how old you are, honey. Look. 7 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,355 One, two, three, four, five. 8 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,357 Huh. 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,663 - Was this your card? - No. 10 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,534 - Was this your card? - No. 11 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,904 - Was this your card? - I think you told me to pick a color. 12 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,573 - Was it green? - I forget. 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,643 Man, this sucks. I thought you said when the gang was gettin' back together, 14 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,812 that meant we were gonna steal somethin', 15 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,581 not watch a bunch of snot-nosed little kids eatin' cake. 16 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,883 Man, this sucks. [ Joy ] Sorry, Ralph. 17 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:53,287 - Since Dudley Do-Right here broke up the gang, this is it. - I didn't break up the gang. 18 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,022 Yeah, you did. We're still a gang. 19 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,692 You call this a gang? How many other gangs you know have a damn magician? 20 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:02,263 - We used to have fun, Earl. - We're havin' fun. This is fun. 21 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,833 [ Kazoo Buzzes ] 22 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,270 You have to admit, Earl, our gang was a lot funner before you discovered karma. 23 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:12,740 The craziest thing any of us has done lately is when you were in the bathroom... 24 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,975 and Ralph stuck that kazoo down his crack. 25 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:18,846 - [ Giggles ] - [ Buzzes Softly ] 26 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:24,452 You're it, stinky lips. [ Laughs ] 27 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,720 [ Earl Narrating ] I guess Randy was right. 28 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:31,425 Workin' a scam with a top-notch crew was a bit more thrillin' than a kazoo. 29 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,098 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 30 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:50,178 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 31 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,330 [ Alarm Rings ] 32 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,215 I don't like to complain about free food, 33 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,384 but this hot dog tastes like... zoo. 34 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:33,587 Well, Earl Jr. only eats long things that he can dip in ketchup, 35 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,525 and Winky Dinky Dogs is the only thing around since Pop's Old-Fashioned Wieners closed. 36 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,794 - Pop's Old-Fashioned Wieners didn't close. - Yes, it did. 37 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:44,265 - No, it didn't. - Yes, it did. A sinkhole swallowed up him and his cart. 38 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:47,235 A-A-And there was a solar eclipse that night. Tell him, Earl. 39 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,303 Uh, yeah. Th-That's what I heard. 40 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,572 Oh, really? I heard you and I stole it for $200, 41 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,476 and you spent your half at Club Chubby tryin' to get that girl to break the rules. 42 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:59,012 Which she did! [ Laughs ] 43 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,982 [ Sighs ] Yeah. 44 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,685 [ Earl Narrating ] A few years ago, the Winky Dinky Dog hot dog chain... 45 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,854 opened a new store in Camden County. 46 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:11,024 Unfortunately, their grand opening wasn't as grand as they had hoped. 47 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:14,728 People were just creatures of habit, and they were just used to going to Pop's. 48 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:17,398 That's because Pop's Wieners was an institution. 49 00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,934 Everybody loved Pop's. Almost everybody. 50 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:26,907 Later that day, Ralph and I were offered an opportunity. 51 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:30,544 All right, I won. I get a free shot. [ Belches ] 52 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,746 All right. Give it to me. 53 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,856 No, no, no, no. I won three in row, buddy. You can't cover. 54 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,995 - Fastball. - [ Groans ] 55 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,598 Yeah, money! Yeah, money! 56 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:54,635 Hey. You geniuses wanna make $200? 57 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,405 Yeah, buddy. The only thing is, 58 00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:01,642 if it involves math or spelling or anything like that, we might need a little extra time, 59 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:04,312 'cause we're not really, like, the geniuses you think we are. 60 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:08,482 [ Earl Narrating ] Luckily, he didn't need geniuses to knock his competition out of business. 61 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:11,719 He just needed a couple of drunk crooks. Yeah, big daddy! 62 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,121 It may have been smarter to take the back roads, 63 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:17,391 but how often do you get to surf a giant wiener down Main Street? 64 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:21,295 Life's too short. Come on, big daddy! Whoo! Yeah! 65 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,431 Ride that wiener, big daddy! 66 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,136 I can't believe you did that. Yeah. 67 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:33,774 Takin' away Pop's hot dogs from Camden County is like takin' chicken wings out of Syracuse. 68 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:36,544 - I think it's Buffalo, buddy. - Buffalo? 69 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:40,448 - Yeah. - No, no, I think it's chicken. 70 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,916 It is. It's chicken. Spicy chicken. 71 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,587 Look, I've done a lot of bad things. That's why I made a list. 72 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,156 - I hope "stole Pop's hot dog cart" is on there. - He is. 73 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:52,593 I wrote it down in code so no one would know what I did. 74 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:56,229 Number 159-- stole P.'s H.D. cart. I'm gonna do it. 75 00:04:56,296 --> 00:05:01,635 [ Earl Narrating ] And just like that, I knew what I needed to do next on my list. 76 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:05,038 After we found his cart where we hid it in the woods, 77 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,508 we headed over to Pop's to give it back. Yes? 78 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,343 Pops? That's me. 79 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:12,680 Uh, a while ago, me and a friend, we-- 80 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,649 [ Pops ] That's-- That's my cart. 81 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,586 You found my cart? 82 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,689 You found my cart! [ Laughing ] 83 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,692 You found it. You know, I-I'm here too. 84 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:28,228 Oh, you. You found my cart. 85 00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:31,732 [ Earl Narrating ] Fortunately, Pops was a very forgiving man, 86 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:34,201 but puttin' the cart back in its original location... 87 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,203 wasn't enough to get things started. 88 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,772 People were used to going to Winky Dinky Dogs because, 89 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,575 like I said, they're creatures of habit. 90 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:44,211 Luckily, every creature I know loves a two-for-one coupon. 91 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:47,615 So, I recruited Kenny, my homosexual friend at the Copy Hut, 92 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,317 to design some discount flyers to bring people back to Pop's. 93 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,285 Thanks. What do I owe you? 94 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,289 Oh, it's no charge. I used some paper we had leftover from a school job. 95 00:05:56,356 --> 00:06:00,428 Yeah, she lost. I guess Camden High wasn't ready for a lesbian treasurer. 96 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,396 Pop's is back! Two for one! 97 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:05,899 [ Earl Narrating ] So, I spent a day spreading the news that Pop's was back in business. 98 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,468 Who's Ellen Downs? 99 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:11,439 Just some high-school girl who came out of the closet too soon. Other side. 100 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,375 Two for one. Yep. Go get yourself a hot dog. 101 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,580 Ellen Downs for treasurer! 102 00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,649 Other side, Randy. 103 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:26,086 [ Earl Narrating ] The flyers worked. In just a few days, Pop's was as busy as ever. 104 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:34,394 I felt good. I had righted a wrong and given a broken man back his dream. 105 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,171 Here. 106 00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,743 Thank you, Pops. No. Thank you, Earl. 107 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,115 Thank you. 108 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,220 My cart! 109 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,890 Yeah, baby! Whoo! 110 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,867 Yeah, baby! Whoo! Yeah! 111 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,069 Ralph, what the hell are you doin'? 112 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,072 Hey, I knew you'd be mad, buddy, but I couldn't cut you in. 113 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:22,175 Winky Dinky only paid me 175 bucks this time, 114 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:25,245 and I couldn't figure out how to evenly divide that between two people. 115 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,515 Winky Dinky Dog. Of course. Yeah. 116 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,617 Damn it. Pops, don't worry. 117 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,152 I'll make sure the guy pays for a new cart. 118 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,289 Hey, you wanna go get a lap dance at Club Chubby? 119 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,458 I got some money. 120 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,298 I know you hired my buddy to burn down Pop's cart, 121 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,769 and you're gonna pay the $10,000 to replace it, or I'm goin' to the police. 122 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:52,205 When you go to the police, are you gonna tell 'em you stole his cart the first time? 123 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,175 No, I'm not. Actually, I'd rather the whole thing didn't come up. 124 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,911 Then I suggest you don't go to the police. Then give me $10,000. 125 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:01,582 - No. - Then I'm gonna go to the-- Damn it! 126 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,219 [ Earl Narrating ] Since I couldn't reason with the fellow at the store, 127 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,121 I figured I'd go over his head. 128 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:11,358 After a little research, I found out that Winky Dinky Dog... 129 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,327 was owned by a giant corporation all the way in the city. 130 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,930 Look at this. Life in the city. 131 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,099 You can do anything and be anything. 132 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,803 You think they'd mind if I slid across the shiny floor in my socks? 133 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:27,007 I wouldn't start it, but I guess if you saw someone else doin' it, you could join in. 134 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:30,944 Hello. Uh, my name is Earl Hickey, and I'm here to speak... 135 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,547 with the head honcho of this company, Mr. Winky Dinky. 136 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,016 You mean Mr. Covington. And this is concerning? 137 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,085 It's very concerning. There was a fire and everything. 138 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,554 I can't let you inside without an appointment. 139 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:44,324 - How do I get an appointment? - You need to talk to someone inside. 140 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,794 - That's what I'm tryin' to do. - Then you need an appointment. 141 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,864 Look at all those people in suits, Earl. It's like when Ted from Bill and Ted's... 142 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:54,034 put on his magic sunglasses and went into the Matrix. 143 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,136 [ Earl Narrating ] That's when I realized the only way... 144 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,171 I was gonna speak to Mr. Winky Dinky... 145 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,608 was to get one of those employee I.D.'s, 146 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,509 and that meant becomin' an employee. [ Beeping ] 147 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:07,681 I called human resources and found out they were in desperate need for secretaries. 148 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,618 All I needed to do was take a typin' test. 149 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,786 That's where Kenny came in. 150 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,357 [ Quietly ] Hey, I typed a real word. 151 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,459 "Flurp." That's a word, isn't it? 152 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:24,031 After we finished, Kenny and I exchanged our work before we turned it in. 153 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:31,772 Thanks to Kenny, and his impeccable "type-man-ship," I was hired on the spot. 154 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:39,980 As for Kenny, he got a "better luck next time." 155 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,617 That very next day, I started my new pretend career in business. 156 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,986 I just had to fake my way through the day, 157 00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,021 and keep my eye open for Mr. Winky Dinky. 158 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,090 Here's your new work space, Hickey. 159 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,661 Well, thank you, sir. I'm, uh, happy to be on board. 160 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,076 I have to say, office life took a little gettin' used to. 161 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:20,854 Oh, hey, Hill-Hillary, uh, do you have a key for this top one? 162 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,898 Oh, that's how you do it. I-- I didn't get the memo. 163 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,400 You bring up the middle section in Excel, 164 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,603 then you'll bring up the Word document for pages four through six. 165 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:40,674 Part will be network, so leave the Web links embedded. And put them on a disk for me. 166 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,943 Thanks. Will do. 167 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,512 Since I had no idea what the hell an Excel was, 168 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:49,182 I decided to hide out in the elevator for a while, hoping to spot Mr. Covington. 169 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:04,664 Mr. Covington? Mr. Covington is my father's name. 170 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,734 You can call me "sir." 171 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,102 Well, I-- I know you're a very busy man, 172 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,872 uh, now that you're doing potatoes three ways and everything, 173 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:15,342 but I thought you should know that one of your franchise owners paid a criminal... 174 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,577 to burn down someone else's hot dog stand. 175 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,880 Have the police been informed? 176 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,450 Well, the, uh, witness doesn't really... 177 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:27,320 like to interact with the police because, uh, they don't like me-- him. 178 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,623 But I just thought, uh, this was the type of thing you'd wanna know about. 179 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:34,928 Actually, it's something I wouldn't want to know about. 180 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,998 Excuse me? Business is tough, son. 181 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:41,234 You try to play by the rules, but sometimes you can't. 182 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:46,173 And when you can't, it's better if I can stand up in court and say I didn't know about it. 183 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,312 This conversation didn't happen. 184 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:56,516 - B-But it did happen. - No, it didn't. 185 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,787 But, uh, Mr. Covington. 186 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,762 - Where'd you get all that neat stuff? - Oh, I stole it from work, 187 00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,664 and I'm gonna keep stealing until I get $10,000 to pay Pops back. 188 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:16,569 Those executives are criminals like we used to be, only worse 'cause they don't admit it. 189 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,772 It's "hypochronical." 190 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:22,275 I mean, "hypoconjugal." 191 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,277 Hypothetical? 192 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,514 But, Earl, I thought you stopped stealing. What about your list? 193 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,951 This is a special circumstance, Catalina. I'm stealin' for a good reason. 194 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:33,086 Just like, uh, Robin Hood. 195 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:36,556 Yeah, I like him. The guy with the green panty hose, right? 196 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:40,260 I like his little hummingbird girlfriend, Tinker Bell. She gets so jealous. 197 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,595 You're never gonna make $10,000 selling rubber bands... 198 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,732 unless you have some syringes and arm candy to go with them. 199 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,634 [ Earl Narrating ] Catalina was right. 200 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,770 It was clear that I was gonna need to steal more stuff. 201 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,705 But to do that, I needed help. 202 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:56,043 I needed to get the gang back together for one last heist. 203 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,278 Guys, I'm gonna need a favor. 204 00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,780 [ Earl Narrating ] With Randy and Catalina on board-- [ Knocking ] 205 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:03,450 I needed to convince the rest of the gang. 206 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,685 Joy and Darnell were easy. 207 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:10,190 Mostly because Joy hates her life, and Darnell's up for anything. 208 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:13,526 And Ralph-- Well, say what you want about Ralph, 209 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,395 but he's a professional. 210 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,131 There's nothin' he won't do for $200. 211 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,072 Now that the gang was back together, 212 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,975 the first step of the plan was to get everyone hired. 213 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,077 That's where Kenny came in again. 214 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,983 [ Video Game Beeping ] 215 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:44,057 Look, Kenny, I'm sleepin', and the TV screen is doin' "Z" like I'm sleepin'. 216 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,438 [ Earl Narrating ] At the end of the day, everyone got hired. 217 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:03,977 That-- That took me about 5.3 seconds right there. 218 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:07,614 Very impressive, sir. Welcome aboard. 219 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:13,286 - Whoo! Yeah. - [ Earl Narrating ] Everyone except for Kenny. 220 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:17,424 This appears to be just a list of all the swear words you know. 221 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,359 I have a lot of anger. 222 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:24,932 [ Earl Narrating ] The next day, the gang was geared up and back in the scam business. 223 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:29,169 And although we were doin' somethin' bad, I knew it was for good. 224 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,304 Like Robin Hood and his gang, 225 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,942 but with us, only the women wore stockings. 226 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:38,979 Randy even brought four beers because it makes him a better liar. 227 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,916 And now that everyone was in place, 228 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,486 the plan was to try not to get fired before 5:00. 229 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,223 [ Indistinct ] 230 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:58,098 Then, at closing time, we'd all hide and wait for everyone to leave. 231 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,035 That way, we'd have the place to ourselves, 232 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:06,406 and we'd be free to steal as many things as we could carry without gettin' detected. 233 00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,661 [ Imitates Pigeon Cooing ] 234 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:35,402 Okay, good job, everybody. Let's take what we can and do it fast. We don't have much time. 235 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:40,173 Earl, forget about stealing all that chintzy crap, baby, I just found the mother lode. 236 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:46,246 Wait, that's what you want us to steal? A copy machine? 237 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,715 - Yeah, buddy. - It must weigh a ton, Ralph. 238 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,752 No way. I am not gonna bust my ass to steal this big-ass copy machine. 239 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:56,956 Look, it's gonna be worth it. I got a guy in Koreatown wants to rig it to counterfeit money. 240 00:15:57,024 --> 00:16:00,660 He said he's gonna pay us ten grand in 20-dollar bills for it. 241 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:04,031 Ra-- I don't know Ralph. Let's just stick to our plan. 242 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,966 Yeah. I found a box of pencils. 243 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,169 They look like pens, but they're pencils. 244 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:12,639 See? Looks like a pen. It's a pencil. 245 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,908 [ Ralph ] You're all thinkin' small time on me here, man. 246 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,978 Look, it's got wheels. It's just, you know, one, two, three, puppy dog. 247 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:23,016 - Ralph, may-- Let's just try-- - Look, there ain't no time to think about this, buddy. 248 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,585 This is what I do for a living, all right? 249 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:29,322 I got this worked out on a level that you wouldn't even begin to understand, baby. 250 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,558 This whole thing's a chess game. 251 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:35,628 And this here Xerox machine's the pope, all right? Now, come on. Let's push it. 252 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:40,067 Come on. Come on. Come on. 253 00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,002 [ Grunting ] 254 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,405 Oh. [ All Grunting ] 255 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,175 [ Ralph ] Yeah, there we go. 256 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:51,378 [ Grunting Continues ] 257 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,181 Oop, over to the right. To the right. Push. 258 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,352 See, I knew this wasn't gonna work. 259 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,455 Let's just push it up on its end and shove it through. 260 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,525 Are you nuts? Look, we're wastin' time. Let's just do it. 261 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,061 All right. Come on. Come on. Lift it up. Lift it up. 262 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:11,498 [ All Grunting ] 263 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,235 Yeah! Yeah! 264 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,571 [ Earl ] Wait. Hold on. I think it's stuck. 265 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:22,742 [ Earl ] The thing is jammed in the doorway, Ralph. [ Ralph ] Look, look-- 266 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:27,680 [ Joy ] Ralph, I'm gonna kick your little bony ass. 267 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,323 [ Earl Narrating ] After a long night of struggling to unsuccessfully free ourselves, 268 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,391 we were finally rescued the next morning. 269 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,761 What the hell is going on? 270 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,132 Fred. 271 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,467 Uh, you're never gonna believe this, 272 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,969 but when I got here this morning, uh, 273 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:54,006 that copier was already wedged in the doorway, so I called these people to help me with it. 274 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:58,145 How'd you get in the room in the first place if the door was already blocked off? 275 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:02,815 Well, actually, that happened while we were sleepin'. 276 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:07,420 Yeah, asleep. And that bottle of pee-pee on the table was already there too. 277 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:13,326 - [ Earl Narrating ] Ralph never was very good under pressure-- - Get him! 278 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,296 but he did know when to make an exit. 279 00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,838 [ Police Shouting, Indistinct ] 280 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:32,179 [ Grunts ] 281 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,921 [ Earl Narrating ] After making our not-so-clean getaway, 282 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,258 we headed to the Crab Shack to calm our nerves and blow off some steam. 283 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,360 Ralph is not a good criminal. 284 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,596 Julio Enrique González de Marco la Bamboza, 285 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,932 also known as la Puma del Diablo-- now that was a good criminal. 286 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:56,269 He once stole all the hats from my village. 287 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:59,939 Forced us to buy them back at ridiculous prices. 288 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,409 We should have just stuck with the original plan. 289 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,912 I mean, look at how many pencil pens I got. 290 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,715 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Ralph. 291 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:12,385 I wanna apologize for running out like that and screwin' up the plan. 292 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,421 It was very unprofessional of me. 293 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,589 Well, we all ran eventually, Ralph. 294 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,826 Yeah, but I was paid to do the job, and so, here's the thing. 295 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:23,963 I figured out a way to get Pop's cart back. All right, here's the plan. 296 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:28,034 What if I cut off my pinky toe, put it in that there cooler, 297 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,137 stick it in a Winky Dinky Dog, and sue 'em for $10,000? 298 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,641 Ralph, I appreciate your offer, but you're not cuttin' off your pinky toe. 299 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:38,445 We can find another way to do it. Yeah. 300 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:43,216 Well, here's the thing, Earl. 301 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,453 What, your pinky toe's already in there, isn't it? Yeah, it's in there. 302 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,659 Look, Earl, it looks like a little peanut. A little peanut with a toenail. 303 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,130 [ Earl Narrating ] Later that day, thanks to Ralph's professionalism, 304 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,267 plan "B" was in full swing. 305 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,939 [ Screaming ] Turns out, Joy didn't let Darnell and the kids... 306 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,543 in on the plan for fear that their reactions wouldn't look authentic. 307 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:20,653 Lucky for us, the going rate for a pinky toe in a hot dog was $10,000, 308 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,956 which was the same amount Pops needed for a brand-new cart. 309 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:27,827 And to Joy's credit, she never thought to keep the money for herself. 310 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,229 She was just happy the gang was back together... 311 00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:32,665 and that Pop's was back in business. 312 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,201 Made me feel good to cross this one off my list. 313 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,037 But it was especially nice, because it gave the old gang... 314 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,872 a place to hang out together again. 315 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,218 - [ Ralph ] Yeah! - Woo! 316 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:55,388 Yeah. Just like prison. 317 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,390 [ Muffled ] Hey, you want a bite? 318 00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:00,693 You're it, stinky lips! [ Laughs ] 319 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,729 Ew!