1 00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,537 My name is Earl. 2 00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:08,642 We did it. Two beers, Crab Man. 3 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,478 You got it, Earl. 4 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,482 [ Earl Narrating ] Every time I cross something off my list, I get a good feeling inside. 5 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:18,719 Here's to crossing off number 57-- gave Randy a swirly when he was five. 6 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:22,290 [ Earl Narrating ] And this time, Randy got that good feeling too. 7 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:28,096 [ Gurgling ] 8 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,465 Thanks for cleaning the toilet before I let Randy stick my head in it. 9 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,567 No problem. The last guy who got his head stuck in the toilet... 10 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,503 caught some disease only bats get. 11 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:38,406 Is that that guy who always hangs upside down in the bathroom? 12 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,642 No, that's Hector. Question, Earl. 13 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,245 How do you decide what you're gonna do next on your list? 14 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:46,314 If it's too personal, I'll mind my own beeswax. 15 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,949 Well, uh, sometimes karma gives me a sign, 16 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,585 other times I just pick one at random. 17 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:55,223 And sometimes he lets me pick, but I get a little freaked out when I play God. 18 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,391 That's why I also don't vote on American Idol. 19 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,993 - Can I pick one? - Sure, go ahead. 20 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:04,598 - I just did-- one. - You don't dillydally, Crab Man. I respect that. 21 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,834 One it is. 22 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:10,304 [ Earl Narrating ] As you might imagine, number 1 on my list was kind of special-- 23 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,973 stole $10 from a guy at the Camden Market. 24 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,877 It was the last bad thing I did before I discovered karma. 25 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:22,150 It was about nine months ago. Low on funds, I was about to steal 16 ounces of breakfast, 26 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,185 when all of a sudden, fate smiled on me. 27 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:39,200 Five minutes later, I scratched off the lottery ticket that would change my life forever. 28 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,971 - [ Grunts ] - [ Screaming ] 29 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,675 - [ Tires Squealing ] - It would also lacerate my spleen and pop my lung. 30 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:50,411 Stealing that guy's $10 was the last straw. 31 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,446 Karma had had enough. 32 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,484 Thanks, Crab Man. It's about time I did number 1. 33 00:01:56,550 --> 00:02:00,188 Good luck with that. And I hope I scrubbed that bat disease out of that toilet. 34 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:04,091 But if you start seeing with your ears and whatnot, get to a doctor. 35 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,826 [ Earl Narrating ] In my criminal days, 36 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,696 Iqball's surveillance cameras were a pain in my ass. 37 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:13,934 But since I never saw the guy's face I stole the 10 bucks from, I was lucky he kept the tapes. 38 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:18,138 Thanks for doing this, Iqball. I think it happened around 11:00. 39 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,042 11:00. 40 00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,878 [ Earl Narrating ] I was also lucky I knew someone who spoke Bengali. 41 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,848 [ Speaking Bengali ] 42 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,787 [ Bengali ] 43 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,990 That's impressive, Patty. 44 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:41,562 I spent the early part of my 20s doing exotic sex shows in Calcutta. 45 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,265 The pay was good, but when the opium buzz wears off, 46 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:49,169 and you're standing there naked with a tambourine in one hand and a tiger's junk in the other, 47 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,772 it's time for a young girl to come home. 48 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:58,145 - Hey, there you are, Patty. - [ Bengali ] 49 00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,348 He wants you to fast-forward this part. 50 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,083 There's nothin' to be ashamed of, Iqqy. 51 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,786 We've all got our kinky little secrets. 52 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,889 [ Bengali ] 53 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,569 [ Whispering ] How long does this go on? 54 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:25,406 [ Whispering ] You'll know it's over when he brushes my hair and feeds me a sugar cube. 55 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,652 Hey, there I am. 56 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,723 - That's him. That's the guy. - [ Patty ] I know him. 57 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,793 That's Paul. He's the delivery guy at Charlie's Pizza. 58 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,629 - We're in the same book club. - [ Iqball Laughs ] 59 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:52,666 [ Iqball Chuckles, Speaks Bengali ] 60 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,703 [ Bengali ] 61 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:59,840 Iqball says that guy didn't have any money to buy anything. 62 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,675 [ Laughing Continues ] 63 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,913 [ Earl ] Wait a second. 64 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:10,318 He was gonna buy a lotto ticket with that money? Yeah. 65 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:15,188 I bought his lotto ticket. The winning lotto ticket was supposed to be his. 66 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:19,293 [ Earl Narrating ] That's when I realized I didn't just owe this guy $10-- 67 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,629 I owed him every penny I have. 68 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,571 As soon as I realized the lottery money was supposed to belong to someone else, 69 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:35,509 I went to the bank and got out what I had left after Uncle Sam took his share. 70 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,279 That's a lot of money to give away. 71 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,482 Am I being crazy? 72 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,852 Yes. I think you got one of them brain worms I saw on TV. 73 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,388 Look, it's not like I don't wanna keep the money. 74 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,857 I-I can't. I'm scared. 75 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,793 The first time I got this money, karma hit me with a car. 76 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:56,430 You ever been hit by a car? It hurts. It hurts a lot. 77 00:04:56,497 --> 00:05:00,000 I can't keep this money knowing it's not mine or karma might try and kill me again. 78 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:04,638 Maybe. Or maybe that's just what the brain worm wants you to think. 79 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,608 [ Sighs ] Damn it, Crab Man. 80 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,543 Why the hell he have to pick number 1? 81 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:12,513 But, Earl, we'll be broke. 82 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:16,417 Look, Randy, I know it sucks, but we've been broke before. 83 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:21,822 [ Groans ] I made the list, and karma brought us back the lotto ticket. 84 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,958 I guess we just have to hope karma takes care of us again. 85 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:28,028 I hate Darnell. 86 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,498 [ Earl Narrating ] Patty gave us Paul's address, 87 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,867 and even though he didn't like what I was doin', Randy agreed to go with me. 88 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,370 [ Knocking ] 89 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,372 Hi. We're looking for Paul. 90 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:43,377 If you're here to buy my medical marijuana lollipops from my son, you're out of luck. 91 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:47,080 I ate 'em all. [ Laughing ] 92 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:51,151 No, no. We're not here for lollipops. We brought him somethin'. 93 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:54,588 I won't let you do it, Earl! Randy, get back here! 94 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:57,391 Damn it! Randy! [ Grunts ] 95 00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,293 [ Earl Narrating ] Once I got the money back from Randy, I explained to Paul... 96 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,364 all about my list, the lotto ticket and how that money was really his. 97 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,099 So-So this money's all mine? 98 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,836 Yeah. I'm five grand short, but I'll get it to you as soon as I can. 99 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,038 Dude, don't worry about it. This is plenty. 100 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:15,108 No, no. I'll get you the rest. I have to. Like I said, you're on my list. 101 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,778 He said it was plenty, Earl. Didn't you hear him? 102 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:21,314 I think you got that bat disease. How many fingers am I holding up? 103 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,051 [ Earl Narrating ] Not having much money was nothing new to me and Randy. 104 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:28,155 But having none at all made things hard, especially when it came to lunch. 105 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,691 Yeah. 106 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,926 There's some left in here. 107 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,718 I'm starving, Earl. Maybe we should go steal some food. 108 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,388 You know I get angry when I'm hungry, like the Hulk. 109 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,256 Only I don't get all green and muscly. 110 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,793 I just get dizzy and snap at people that don't deserve it. 111 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,928 Randy, we're not stealing anything. 112 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,397 We're stickin' to the list so somethin' good will happen to us again. 113 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:14,201 I just need to find somethin' that won't cost any money to cross off my list. 114 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:18,071 List, list, list! I swear to God, you say the word "list" one more time, 115 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,174 I'm gonna pull your tongue right out of your mouth and stick it up your-- 116 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:30,250 I'm sorry. That was the hungry, dizzy Hulk. He comes on quick. 117 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,520 No, no. That-That's okay, Randy. 118 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,088 You can have the chip dust. I'm full. 119 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:43,831 Here we go right here. Number 119-- 120 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,567 ruined Joy's chance to get into art school. 121 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,502 [ Earl Narrating ] A few years ago, 122 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:52,072 Joy found a contest in the back of a magazine to get into art school. 123 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,609 [ Dog Barking ] Check out that turtle. 124 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:59,980 Look at that. Looks just like the one in the magazine. I traced it perfect. Mmm. 125 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:05,185 I'm gonna go to art school. And when I do, y'all gonna have to take care of the babies. Mm-hmm. 126 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,755 And you're gonna see what it's like to get up at midnight... 127 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,657 'cause they're cryin' for more Mountain Dew. 128 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,825 I need a stamp. 129 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,296 I don't want to take care of the kids, Earl. 130 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,266 The black one bites me, and the white one calls me "stupid giant." 131 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,269 Don't worry, Randy. She's not getting into art school. 132 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,883 [ Earl Narrating ] A few months later, Joy finally heard back from the art school. 133 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,587 They said, "Art isn't for turds." Who the hell do they think they're calling a turd? 134 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,522 [ Earl Narrating ] I came over to talk to Joy about getting her into art school, 135 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:45,926 but all she wanted to talk about was how I gave my money away. 136 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:49,029 Well, the dummy has out-dummied himself, huh? 137 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:53,466 Well, at least now that you're poor I can stop being so nice to you. That just wears me out. 138 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,804 Look, will you just trace this turtle again so I can mail it in? 139 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,707 I told you, I don't wanna trace no damn turtle. 140 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:03,944 Joy, I just bought the stamp. I can't return it. I let Randy lick it for lunch. 141 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,747 [ Sighs ] I don't care about art school anymore, Earl. 142 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,849 I make my art on the end of people's fingers now. 143 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,851 Patty, you really need to stop biting these nails. 144 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:14,054 Don't tell me, tell the mayor. He's a nibbler. 145 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:17,625 Mmm. There's gotta be something I can do to make up for the drawing. 146 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:21,361 I gotta start crossing things off my list if I want my life to be better again. 147 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,832 Fine. You wanna make up for ruining my art career? 148 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,467 You can help me by expanding my new career. 149 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:30,738 I need a guinea pig to practice on so I can get my new license. 150 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:34,007 No problem. What do you what me to do? 151 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,178 [ Screams ] 152 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,616 Mother-- 153 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,818 Oh, wait. Rip that out. 154 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,954 I'm supposed to explain the dangers to you first. 155 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,756 [ Groans ] 156 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,725 [ Earl Narrating ] While Joy finished making me into a human pincushion, 157 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,962 the lack of food was making Randy desperate. 158 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,197 - I crossed another one off-- Randy, no. - [ Trap Snaps ] 159 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,667 [ Groans ] [ Earl Narrating ] An hour later, I learned... 160 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:03,136 the only thing as painful as putting an earring in your nipple is taking it out. 161 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,205 [ Earl Groans ] 162 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,342 Ooh. That one's nice. 163 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,078 Where are you going? 164 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:14,181 [ Muffled ] My tongue hurts too much to watch TV. I'm going for a walk. 165 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,615 [ Earl Screams ] 166 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:21,822 [ Earl Narrating ] As I tried to find something else on my list that didn't require money, 167 00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:24,725 Darnell was trying to help us stay alive. 168 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,194 Now, I know you don't have any money to buy beers, 169 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,097 but two ladies just left the bar and they ain't finished these. 170 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:34,267 - Here's napkins to wipe off the lipstick. - Thanks, Crab Man. 171 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:38,706 You see that, Randy? I told you karma would take care of us. Free beer. 172 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,841 Do good things, good things happen. 173 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,344 There's a cigarette in mine. So? 174 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,814 You know, I think having that money spoiled you, Randy. 175 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,549 Just pinch your lips tighter to keep the cigarette out. 176 00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,719 Plus, it'll make your beer last longer. 177 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,289 Here we go. Number 206-- 178 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:59,392 refused to dance with Too-tall Maggie at the eight grade dance. 179 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,863 I can cross that one off easy. Dancin' is free. 180 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:06,399 Here. Someone left half a hamburger by the pool table. 181 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,870 [ Sighs ] There's a cigarette in here too. 182 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,305 Give it to me, princess. 183 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,579 Okay. All right. No need to panic. 184 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:23,784 We'll cross Maggie off the list and things will start to get better. I know it, Randy. 185 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,453 I still believe. You still believe? 186 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,756 I still believe. Good. 187 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:31,524 We just need to stay positive and keep moving forward. Everything will work out fine. 188 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,061 [ Engine Sputtering ] 189 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,878 [ Sighs ] 190 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,392 [ Grunts ] 191 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:09,362 Where are you goin'? To dance with Maggie. 192 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,818 Maggie. 193 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,883 Now what? 194 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:06,920 I don't know. I'm really hungry. 195 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,956 Yeah, me too. 196 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:12,725 I spent the whole day trying to pull a peanut out of that heater vent. 197 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,694 Turns out it was just a moth. 198 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,865 - How was it? - Dry. 199 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,834 [ Tape: Distorted Audio ] 200 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,236 [ Stops ] 201 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,439 Uh. 202 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:31,912 I don't know if I'm about to pass out or fall asleep from exhaustion, 203 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,414 but it's happenin'. 204 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,454 Huh? Oh. 205 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,227 I'll give you 1,800 for it if it runs. 206 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,063 It runs, just not right now. It's out of gas. 207 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,565 I'll give you 1,785 for it. 208 00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,135 Take it, Earl. You know this car's not worth more than 1,500. 209 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,704 - 1,500. - Take it, Earl. We're desperate. 210 00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:01,308 1,200. Hurry, Earl. He's lowering his prices for no reason. 211 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,211 Sold. 212 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:13,786 It happened, Earl. You crossed something off your list and something good happened. 213 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,657 That's a lot of money. Enough to get all your piercing holes plugged up. 214 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:21,761 Yep, it's a lot. Damn it, Crab Man. 215 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,763 What? Wh-Wh-What are you doing? 216 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,732 I still owe Paul five grand, Randy. 217 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,734 No, no. I need to eat, Earl. 218 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,838 My stomach's making sounds I never heard it say before. It's his money, not ours. 219 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:35,675 But, Earl, we got no place to live, no car, no food. We're-- 220 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:40,981 I'm sorry, Randy. Look, I have no choice. I have to stick to the list. You gotta believe. 221 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,483 Quit saying that! I don't believe! 222 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,354 You hear me? I don't believe! And I don't see how you can still believe either! 223 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,058 'Cause I got nothin' else, Randy! This is it. This is all I have. 224 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,126 I didn't even get to eat the moth! 225 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:57,464 Well, lucky you! It tasted like moth! Dry moth! 226 00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:00,267 I'm sorry, Randy! 227 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,435 [ Earl Narrating ] It's scary to see Randy that upset. 228 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:06,039 But lucky for me, the dizzy Hulk had a bad arm and terrible aim. 229 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:10,677 And lucky for both of us, about two miles down the road we found a bus stop. 230 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:17,150 Pull the cord. Paul's house is near the next stop. 231 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,620 Pull the cord. 232 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,996 Randy, pull the cord. 233 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:34,567 Randy! Let me go. Randy. 234 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,940 Uh, Randy. [ Grunting ] 235 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,511 Aaah! Randy! 236 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:48,081 Uh, excuse me. Would you mind pulling the cord, please? 237 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,318 [ Thuds ] [ Woman Screams ] 238 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,192 [ Earl Narrating ] Luckily, Paul didn't die. 239 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:03,196 But when the force of getting hit by a bus makes your heart and liver switch places, 240 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,432 uh, you're gonna feel it. 241 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:09,436 How you feeling, buddy? Take the money back. 242 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,971 - What? - Take the money back. 243 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,541 Okay. W-Wait. You were just hit by a bus. 244 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:17,344 You're still a little out of it. That money is yours. 245 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,979 You don't know the whole story. [ Groans ] 246 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:23,016 [ Earl Narrating ] Turns out Paul knew more about the day I won the lottery than I did. 247 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:28,421 Apparently, when you're blacked out and laying in the middle of the road, you miss a few things. 248 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,957 [ Tires Squealing ] The ticket didn't go far... 249 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,992 before it was in the hands of someone else. 250 00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,995 And that person was faced with a decision-- 251 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:40,200 Help a guy lying in the middle of the road or take the money and run. 252 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,768 [ Tires Squealing ] 253 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,736 Paul decided to run. 254 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,407 [ Bengali ] 255 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,210 Meanwhile, the old lady that hit me called her sister... 256 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,745 who convinced her to return to the scene of the accident. 257 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,647 Fine. I'll go back. 258 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:58,118 But if I go to jail, you're taking care of Mom. 259 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:13,233 Paul was making his getaway with what he thought was a stolen ticket. He was rich. 260 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,802 - [ Grunts ] - [ Screaming ] 261 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,238 [ Tires Squealing ] 262 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,110 It was the happiest three minutes of his life. 263 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,381 And over the next several days, the ticket made its way through Camden County, 264 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,418 just waiting for karma to deliver it to the right person. 265 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,962 If Willie the one-eyed mailman had better depth perception, 266 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,265 well, that ticket could have been his. 267 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,112 Some people could've even quit their day jobs. 268 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,714 But they were too busy working to notice. 269 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:37,817 Some people could have had it, but karma wanted them to find other things instead. 270 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,722 Things like love. 271 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,836 Other people could have had it if they just weren't busy doing the wrong thing. 272 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:05,912 I got one! Problem Child 2! I just saved us three dollars! 273 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,881 [ Earl Narrating ] Yep. A lot of people could've had that ticket, 274 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:11,751 but it just wasn't meant to be. 275 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,858 It was almost as if the ticket knew where it was supposed to go. 276 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,903 Okay, fine. You took the lotto ticket instead of helping me. 277 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,240 But that ticket was yours. Why don't you want the money? 278 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,442 I don't like what it did to me. 279 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,511 [ Earl Narrating ] And then Paul told us how the money had changed his life. 280 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,616 He got ridiculous new clothes. [ Mother ] Paul? 281 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:47,287 And then he dumped his mom in a discount nursing home. 282 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,357 Money made Paul a whole different guy. 283 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,628 Can you spare a dollar? 284 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,897 I can spare thousands of dollars, but not for you. 285 00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,799 Whoa-oa! Oh! Damn it! 286 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,772 [ Woman Screams ] 287 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,207 It was that karma stuff you told me about, Earl. 288 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:11,110 This money's not supposed to be with me. 289 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:14,347 I have a feeling that if I keep it it's gonna kill me. 290 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,383 The money's supposed to be with you. 291 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:21,821 Wow, Paul. Thanks a lot. 292 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,823 Me and Randy'll keep using it to do good things. 293 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:30,397 Things were back to normal. Look, Earl. No cigarette butts. 294 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,666 That's right, Randy. It was a wild ride, but everything turned out okay. 295 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,969 Plus, you crossed three things off your list. 296 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,839 [ Slurred ] Scoot it, sweetheart. Move. Come on. Come on. 297 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,475 Check it out. [ Laughs ] 298 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:47,079 I'm celebratin'. I just got my hole piercing license, 299 00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:51,117 which means I'm legal, unlike you. 300 00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:55,187 Con esto concluimos nuestra primera temporada de Earl. 301 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,256 Estamos muy agradecido con su acompañamiento. 302 00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,892 Anticipamos verlos el próximo otoño. 303 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,329 Blah, blah, blah. 304 00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:05,565 [ Laughing ] 305 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:08,335 [ Earl Narrating ] Yep. Everything was back to normal.