1
00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:03,537
My name is Earl.

2
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,116
Earl, you just crossed off June
and July of next year.

3
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:17,017
Are those months
not happening anymore?

4
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,787
I don't mind.
It's just that I need
to move some stuff around.

5
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,623
I'm just figuring out
how much time the warden's
takin' off my sentence.

6
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,658
[ Earl Narrating ]
For a few months now,

7
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,727
every time I solved a problem
for the warden,

8
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:29,997
he gave me a certificate
worth a week or two
off my time in prison.

9
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:34,034
I helped the leaders
of two violent gangs learn
to get along... really well.

10
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:37,605
I captured an escaped prisoner,
with a little help from Randy...

11
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,374
and a high-ranking K-9 officer.
[ Growling ]

12
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:44,278
I even cleaned all the hair out
from the prison showers.

13
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:52,486
Pretty soon I'd gotten all
but six months taken off
my sentence.

14
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,955
And lucky for me,
the warden was one
of those people...

15
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,558
who never seem
to run out of problems.

16
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,829
Earl! Thank God you're here.
I'm totally screwed.

17
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,965
- You could just
open the safe again.
- What?

18
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:08,469
Oh, not this.
I do this all the time. No.

19
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,638
I was at this press conference,

20
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:13,874
and this really tricky reporter
tricked me...

21
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:17,278
w-with his tricky trickiness.

22
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:20,948
...continues my commitment
to statewide education reform.

23
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,783
- [ Clamoring ]
- Yes, Andy?

24
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,986
Governor, I actually have
a question for your husband.

25
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:28,356
[ Nervous Laugh ]

26
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,425
Jerry.

27
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,534
- Thank you.
- Wait, Warden Hazelwood.

28
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,904
Many of your programs
have failed.

29
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,574
What do you plan to do
to turn around
this dismal record?

30
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,678
Well, I have what I call
the Super-duper Super Program.

31
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:53,614
I don't want to go
into all the details now,

32
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,150
but I gotta tell you,
it's pretty great.
[ Chuckles ]

33
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:59,987
At Quillen Penitentiary,
the warden has instituted
a reconciliation program...

34
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:03,123
where criminals
and their victims
meet face to face.

35
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:06,227
To fight.
Two men enter,
one man leaves.

36
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,862
Yes, we're doin' that.

37
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,365
Not fight, Jerry. To reconcile.

38
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,767
Yes. We have that too.

39
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,337
Uh, they have a choice.

40
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,506
Naturally we try
to steer them
towards makin' up.

41
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,475
[ Nervous Laugh ]
So. Any more questions?

42
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,579
I have no idea
how to do this.

43
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,949
Earl, you got
six months and 10 days
left in here.

44
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:31,018
Now, you make
this program work,

45
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:34,688
and I will give you
a certificate for six months
off your sentence.

46
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,625
Six months? I'll do it.

47
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:41,094
Then I'll only need
a certificate worth 10 days,

48
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,198
which maybe I can get by...

49
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,934
making you my world-famous
cheese omelet.

50
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,902
That does sound good.

51
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,004
We'll talk.

52
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:54,408
[ Earl Narrating ] I like the
idea of helping a prisoner make
up for something bad he did,

53
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,710
since that's what I do
with my list.

54
00:02:56,777 --> 00:03:00,348
All I had to do now
was find the right guy.

55
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,451
Sure are a lot of people in here
for aggravated assault.

56
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,920
Isn't everybody
who commits assault
kind of aggravated?

57
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:10,258
Not necessarily.
Remember when I hugged
that baby duck to death?

58
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,293
That was fun
until it was sad.

59
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,896
When you get free, we're gonna
go back to that lake
and just do the fun part.

60
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,401
This guy could work.

61
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,471
John Clevenger.

62
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,174
[ Earl Narrating ]
I'd heard about John.

63
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:31,279
He was a sensitive,
artistic type
and a first-time offender.

64
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:35,949
[ Man ]
* Bound by wild desire *

65
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,987
[ Earl Narrating ]
He was in prison for burning
down his parents' house...

66
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,889
when his meth lab caught fire.

67
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:45,559
* I fell into
a burning ring of fire *

68
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,429
* I went down, down, down *

69
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,398
* And the flames went higher *

70
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,467
* And it burns, burns, burns *

71
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:56,570
* The ring of fire *

72
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,440
* The ring of fire **

73
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:02,242
Hey, uh, are you
John the Artist?
Cool.

74
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:05,178
I'm glad that name finally
caught on. I started that
a couple weeks ago.

75
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,180
Oh, good for you.

76
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,450
I've been pushin'
for Duke of Earl,
but it won't stick.

77
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:12,019
- Even with the song?
- There's a song?

78
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,954
Hey! That's mine.

79
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,790
You're not supposed to have
puddin' in your cell.

80
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,092
You got anything else
you're not supposed to have?

81
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,028
Maybe somethin' salty?

82
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,131
Listen. I'm here to talk
about what happened
with your parents.

83
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,468
- That fire was an accident.
- Clearly.

84
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:30,804
No one makes meth
with anything
but the best intentions.

85
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,940
How would you feel
about a program...

86
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,376
where you could sit down
with your parents and talk?

87
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:37,511
Really hash things out.

88
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,348
And hopefully it would
lead to an apology
and a big hug.

89
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:43,283
Wow. Well--

90
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,319
I can't imagine they're
gonna want to do that,

91
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,488
- but if they're up for it,
I'm in.
- Great.

92
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,590
[ Earl Narrating ]
Since I couldn't go myself,

93
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,659
I asked Joy to meet
with John's parents...

94
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,194
and convince 'em
to come see their son.

95
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,897
Look, I understand
you feelin' weird
about meeting with your son.

96
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,733
I mean, everybody
hates meth heads.
That's a hundred-percenter.

97
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:04,638
On the other hand,
he is your son.

98
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,441
I just don't think
meeting with John
is such a good idea.

99
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:11,278
He was a very sweet boy,
but he changed.

100
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,747
Hell, everybody changes.
Changed how?

101
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:18,852
Well, with John was little,
he didn't burn down the house
and destroy everything we own,

102
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,821
so that was different.

103
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:24,925
Mr. and Mrs. Clevenger,
I think I know
what you're going through.

104
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,927
[ Sniffs ]

105
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,863
Last year Mr. Turtle
knocked over a candle
in our trailer...

106
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,766
and started a fire.

107
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,636
To this day, I don't know
if it was a accident...

108
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:39,507
or the result of pent-up
turtle hostilities
of some kind.

109
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,710
Our relationship
was very strained
the next few months.

110
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,245
We couldn't even
be in the same room.

111
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,080
Usually I'd leave
because it was quicker.

112
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,519
I thought this
was over.

113
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,887
I think we both did.

114
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,825
But eventually we sat down
and faced our problem head on.
[ Squeaks ]

115
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,727
That's right.

116
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,896
I'm not gonna lie to you.
It wasn't easy.

117
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:07,768
But we got through it,
and now our relationship
is stronger than ever.

118
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,970
And he seems more careful too.

119
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,474
I'm sorry.
[ Inhales ]

120
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,643
I have something
in my eye.

121
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,312
Thank you.

122
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,649
We'll do it.

123
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,384
[ Laughs ]
We'll go meet with John.

124
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,720
Nice work, Darnell.

125
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,622
Thanks.

126
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,824
I hope that wasn't
too awkward for you.

127
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,893
[ Earl Narrating ]
It was a big day.

128
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,028
John was gonna
make up with his parents,

129
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:38,766
and I was gonna get
my certificate for six months
off my sentence.

130
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,403
[ Exhales ]

131
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,514
Earl, if I wanted
an uncomfortable silence,

132
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,783
I would have made
a lunch date with my wife.

133
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,320
A little awkwardness
is completely normal.

134
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:03,891
So far this is
a classic reconciliation.

135
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,628
Just say whatever's
in your heart.

136
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:10,263
Me?

137
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,200
If they're here
to apologize,
shouldn't they go first?

138
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,969
- What?
- What are you doin'?

139
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,271
You said we're here
for an apology.

140
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,774
Yeah, from you.
You're the one who's
supposed to be sorry.

141
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,944
- But it was their fault.
- Our fault?

142
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:27,815
You burned down our house.
You left your mother
smoldering and hairless.

143
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,950
That fire was the only time...

144
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,385
there was any warmth
in that house,
you cold-hearted bastards.

145
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,454
You should thank me.

146
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:37,424
Earl, on three,
we both fake heart attacks.

147
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,727
John, th-these are
your parents.

148
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,095
They wouldn't have come here
if they didn't love you.

149
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,431
You are a monster.

150
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,634
And whose fault
do you think that is, huh?

151
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,402
I'm a monster
because you ignored me
my whole life.

152
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,371
The most time
we ever spent together...

153
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:54,942
was the six weeks
of my trial, and you
wouldn't even look at me.

154
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:58,345
My eyes were bandaged.
[ Laughing ]
Oh, yeah.

155
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:02,249
Like you couldn't
pull up a little corner
and give me a peek? Cow!

156
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:08,055
How could you?
Don't talk to me
while I'm waiting for the door.

157
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,257
Earl, this is a disaster.

158
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,225
You got a week to fix this.

159
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,361
This couldn't
have gone better.
[ Chuckles ]

160
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:18,498
They're really doin'
the work, as my marriage
counselor likes to say.

161
00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:21,535
You and the governor
are in marriage counseling?
Don't tell anybody.

162
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:25,839
She's pretty sensitive about it,
probably because of her
sex addiction.

163
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,876
The governor
has a sex addiction?

164
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,679
How do you know
all this stuff?

165
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:39,286
[ Earl Narrating ] The only way
I was gonna get the last six
months taken off my sentence...

166
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,955
was if I could get John
to make up with his parents.

167
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,192
But John was having trouble
gettin' with the program.

168
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,861
[ Earl ]
Hey, buddy.
Crazy stuff in there, huh?

169
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:52,633
I know. Can you believe
my parents expected me
to apologize to them?

170
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,068
See, here's the thing.

171
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,605
Everybody expected you
to apologize to them.

172
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:01,809
Hey, it's not my fault.
It's my parents' for being
such monsters my whole life.

173
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,011
They wouldn't let me
have a color TV
in my room.

174
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,013
They never
got me cargo pants.

175
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,682
They wouldn't even
let me go to my prom...

176
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:12,653
because they said
I was too stoned to drive--
as if that's possible.

177
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,623
John, this is my freedom
we're talkin' about.

178
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,692
I don't need you to be sorry.
I just need you say
you're sorry.

179
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,161
That's two
totally different things.

180
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,563
Well, if you want me
to do something big like that,

181
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,833
I want something big
in return.

182
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,035
How about
an aircraft carrier?
Randy.

183
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,437
- They're big.
- I want a prom.

184
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,640
- Huh?
- I wanna go to a prom.

185
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,709
I always think about
missing mine, and I know
I would have had a date,

186
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:39,412
because we lost
the entire football team
in a bus accident that year.

187
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,815
We can't do a prom in prison.

188
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,051
Where are you
gonna get the girls?

189
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:47,955
We only have
five trannies to dance with,
and they're all spoken for.

190
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,257
Fine. Then I wanna drive
an aircraft carrier.

191
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,993
Done.
[ Exhales ]

192
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,296
I don't even know who to call
to get an aircraft carrier.

193
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:59,667
Isn't your wife the governor?
The state doesn't have
a navy, Earl.

194
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:03,103
Well, if we can't get him
an aircraft carrier,
we gotta throw him a prom.

195
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:07,007
Prom?
[ Scoffs ]
A prison prom?

196
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:11,679
- I know. It's crazy, isn't it?
- Yeah. It's crazy.

197
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:17,350
But I just
looked like a jackass
in front of the press,

198
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:22,022
and it's time to show them
that Jerry Hazelwood
is no fool.

199
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:26,894
So let's get some women
behind these bars
and have ourselves a prom.

200
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:33,133
[ Earl Narrating ] Normally,
getting 50 women into a men's
prison would have been tricky.

201
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:37,637
But luckily, the warden
had stolen some of his wife's
governor stationery.

202
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,639
[ Beep ]
[ Woman On P.A. ]
Attention.

203
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:43,143
By order of the governor,
this coming Saturday
you will all be traveling...

204
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,346
to the men's prison
to attend a prom.

205
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:49,649
[ Squealing, Cheering ]

206
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:53,120
[ Earl Narrating ]
I needed help if I was gonna
throw a successful prom,

207
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,923
so I got someone
who started goin' to 'em
when she was 12.

208
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,692
I think my favorite prom
was my fourth one.

209
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,561
Six of us piled up
in the back of that limo.

210
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:05,298
That was one hell
of a basketball team.
They went to State that year.

211
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,968
First thing I think we need
is a theme, right?

212
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:11,038
Oh, yeah.
A theme unifies
all your elements.

213
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,073
[ Gasps ]
Ooh. How about that one?

214
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,142
"Underwater Wonderland."
That's awesome.

215
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,044
Plus, my hair looks
really good when it's wet.

216
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,747
It looks kind of expensive.

217
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,951
Is that a whale
with a chocolate fountain
blowhole?

218
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,353
You got money.
He's got money?

219
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,588
Yeah. He won the lottery.
Didn't he tell you?

220
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:32,692
He's got $24,612.17 left,
minus 400.

221
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,362
Kids' school was selling
candy and you went
a little crazy.

222
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:38,999
We could throw
a pretty awesome prom
for $24,000.

223
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:42,169
- Wait-Wait-Wait a second.
- [ Gasps ]
Oh, snap.

224
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:46,539
A nine-foot-tall
purple seaweed arch
trimmed in platinum coral.

225
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,909
It's a gateway
to a magical universe.

226
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,178
[ Earl Narrating ]
Things were addin' up fast.

227
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:54,647
But then I thought about
how much I'd enjoy
being out of prison.

228
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,650
It was the little things
about life on the outside
I missed the most,

229
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,487
[ Alarm Clock Beeping ]
like sleeping in my warm bed
next to my warm brother--

230
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,456
having the freedom to wear
something different every day--

231
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,692
[ Man ]
* I'm free to
do what I want *

232
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,694
* Any old time *

233
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:11,031
feelin' the wind in my hair--

234
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,200
* I'm free to do what I want *
grass--

235
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:16,804
and just enjoying time
with my friends.
* Any old time **

236
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,072
So there it was.

237
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,842
Giving John what he wanted
was gonna cost me
every dime I had.

238
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,144
But I wasn't just buyin'
a prison prom.

239
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,914
I was buyin' six months
of my life back.

240
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,482
Okay. Fine. Let's do it.

241
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,886
[ Squeals ]
I haven't written
a check in a while.

242
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,422
What do I put
in this memo section?

243
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:38,158
You're supposed to put
something to remind you
what the check was for,

244
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,293
but I usually just write,
"Suck it, gas company."

245
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,030
[ Earl Narrating ]
I'd never forget
what this check was for,

246
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,933
but I wanted
to write it down anyway.

247
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,705
[ Joy ]
I can't believe this.

248
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,342
I made a prom in prison happen.

249
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,846
I bet this is what
it feels like to be Oprah.

250
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:05,552
[ Earl Narrating ]
Finally, the big night had come.
** [ Swing Pop ]

251
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:10,390
Even though no one actually
got to choose their date,

252
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,693
everyone seemed happy
to have some new company--

253
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,229
including me.

254
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:22,435
Depending on who you asked,
my date, Tanani,
was either in prison...

255
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,939
for protesting the government's
oppressive treatment
of Native Americans...

256
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,608
or for stabbing her boss
at the company picnic.

257
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:33,013
It may have taken all my money,
but it really was turning out
to be a magical night.

258
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,315
And splurging on the food
really paid off.

259
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,284
This food is awesome, Earl.
Thanks.

260
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,087
People seem
to be enjoyin' it.

261
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,890
How come there's no
white chocolate fountain?

262
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,560
Good man.

263
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,933
** [ Funk ]

264
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,103
[ Man Rapping ]
* Uh, uh, uh, uh *

265
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,540
[ Earl Narrating ]
Everybody was having a blast,
especially me.

266
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:04,211
* What, what, what, what *

267
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,380
[ Earl Narrating ]
'Cause it wasn't just a prom.

268
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,449
It was my
getting-out-of-jail party.

269
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,484
* Ready, set, let's go
Dance floor pro *

270
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:15,122
* I know you know
I go psycho
when my new joint hit *

271
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,324
* Just can't sit
Gotta get jiggy wit it *

272
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:20,860
[ Women ]
* Na na na na na na na na *
[ Onlookers Cheering ]

273
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:23,796
* Gettin' jiggy wit it *
* Na na na na na na na na **

274
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,234
[ Earl Narrating ] And then
something happened that made
a sweet night even sweeter.

275
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,137
We crown Earl Hickey
as prom king...

276
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,273
because he is responsible
for this entire evening,

277
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,009
including getting me
this awesome outfit.

278
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,778
[ Chanting ]
Earl! Earl! Earl! Earl!

279
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:41,982
[ Earl Narrating ]
I never thought being
prom king would mean so much,

280
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,817
mostly because I didn't know
proms had kings.

281
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,786
Well, now that I knew it,
it felt great.

282
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,256
Thank you,
fellow creatures of the sea.

283
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,859
[ Cheering ]

284
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:57,097
[ Earl Narrating ] Then
I realized this crown would
mean even more to someone else.

285
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:03,536
- But you know who we should
really be thanking for this--
- Jesus?

286
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:07,407
Well, okay, but I was
thinking of someone
a little more on our level.

287
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:11,411
- The pope?
- Okay, church guy.
Stop answering.

288
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,114
I'm just gonna tell you.
It's John.

289
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:17,017
[ Man ]
John the Baptist?
No, John the Artist.

290
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,186
He's the real
prom king.

291
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:24,457
Without him, none of this
would've ever happened.

292
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,794
[ Chanting ]
John! John! John! John!
John! John! John! John!

293
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:30,263
John! John! John! John!

294
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,732
[ Cheering ]

295
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,002
[ Mouthing Words ]

296
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:39,139
[ Earl Narrating ]
Sure, John was prickly
and demanding,

297
00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:43,143
but underneath that,
he was a sad kid who had
missed out on a lot in life,

298
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,878
and I was glad
to give some of it back--

299
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,949
especially since I was getting
six months of my own life
back too.

300
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,385
Thank you for giving this
another chance.

301
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,122
Things are gonna be
a little different
this time.

302
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:58,258
Oh, there they are--
Mr. and Mrs. Hitler.

303
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,194
- Go back to Communist Russia.
- [ Sobbing ]
Oh, no.

304
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,832
You're a terrible son and you
know nothing about history.

305
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:09,702
I just got elected prom king.
I'm the king. Everybody
loves me except for you,

306
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,872
because you're both
fat failures
who don't know how to love.

307
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,308
How dare you?

308
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,880
What the hell was that?
You promised me you were
gonna make up with your parents.

309
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,616
What do you want from me?
I saw them again
and I went off.

310
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,453
We had a deal.
I spent every
dime I had on you,

311
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,522
and all I have to show for it
are pictures of me
and a short chick...

312
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,658
who didn't even put out
at the prom.

313
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,761
Hey, my parents treated me
like crap, so now I treat
other people like crap.

314
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:38,331
It's out of my control, Earl.
Oh, come on. You still make
your own decisions.

315
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,533
You don't get it.
Anything bad I do
isn't my fault.

316
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,802
It's theirs
for being lousy parents.

317
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,837
My middle name is Lou.
John Lou.

318
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,773
There's two toilets
in my name, Earl.

319
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,641
I never had a chance!

320
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,746
[ Earl Narrating ]
Right then something
inside me just snapped.

321
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:59,018
I don't know if it was
'cause I'd been in prison
for too many months...

322
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:02,322
or the fact that this punk
was keeping me in
for six more...

323
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,492
but all I wanted to do
was make him suffer.

324
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,031
I wanted to take
everything from him...

325
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:15,102
like he took everything
from me and his parents.

326
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:20,107
[ Man ]
I am the god of hellfire,
and I bring you--

327
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,442
* Fire *

328
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,645
* I'll take you to burn *

329
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,849
* Fire *

330
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,985
- * I'll take you to learn *
- What the hell, man?
What are you doing?

331
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,189
Hey, you treated me like crap,
so now I treat other people
like crap.

332
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,191
It's out of my control.

333
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,327
My prom picture,
my painting--

334
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:44,631
You son of a bitch!
* And you saved
and you earned *

335
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:48,635
* But all of it's gonna burn **
Oh, I'm sorry.
D-Did I hit you?

336
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,538
Well, don't blame me,
'cause anything bad I do
isn't my fault.

337
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,706
It's your fault,
includin' this.

338
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,075
[ Groans ]

339
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:58,711
This isn't over, Hickey.

340
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,682
[ Earl Narrating ]
I wasn't proud of what I did...

341
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,851
and doin' it didn't actually
make me feel any better.

342
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:09,256
Plus, John promised
there'd be payback.
And there was.

343
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:12,559
It just wasn't
the payback I expected.

344
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,495
Turned out the more
John blamed me
for burning down his cell,

345
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,597
the more he had to admit
he should blame himself...

346
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:20,133
for what he'd done
to his parents.

347
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,035
[ Man ]
* When I look up to the sky *

348
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:28,308
And he knew
he needed to make it right.
* A funny kind of yellow *

349
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:34,314
* I rush home to bed
I soak my head *

350
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,216
* I see your face *
[ Mr. Clevenger ]
Beautiful.

351
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,751
* Underneath my pillow *

352
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,525
[ Earl Narrating ]
Turns out all the time
John spent stoned,

353
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:47,694
he'd memorized
every family photo
on that wall--

354
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,829
* Pictures of matchstick men
and you *

355
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:52,899
photos that John's parents
assumed were lost forever,

356
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,902
which was reasonable,
since they'd all been
destroyed in the house fire.

357
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,037
* Matchstick men and you *

358
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:03,210
And John had found a way to
give 'em back something they
thought they'd never see again.

359
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:08,147
* All I ever see
is them and you **

360
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:12,352
It was the best reconciliation
John's parents could have
hoped for.

361
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:17,123
And most importantly for me,
the warden was gonna look good
in front of his wife.

362
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,126
Earl, that was amazing.

363
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:24,231
You really understand
the psychology
of the criminal mind.

364
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,566
[ Whistles ]
You're like
the scumbag whisperer.

365
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,736
Well, I'm just glad
everything turned out
so well, sir.

366
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,671
And for somebody,
it's only gonna get better.

367
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,506
Here's six more months
off your sentence.

368
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,508
Thank you, sir.
Thank you so much.

369
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:39,379
Now, Earl, thank you
for bailing me out
one more time.

370
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:42,549
Honestly, I don't know
what I would do here...

371
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,617
without you
to cover my ass.

372
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,354
Well, I guess you're
gonna find out tomorrow.

373
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,722
Thanks again, sir.

374
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,671
[ Whirring ]