1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,730
My name is Earl.
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,274
- Mama!
- [People Chattering]
3
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:14,103
Come on, Son. Come on!
You're gonna enjoy it.
4
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,181
- Hey, Earl.
- Hey, Crabman.
5
00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:21,185
Think there's something wrong
with these books.
6
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:25,189
Oh, the Camden Library couldn't afford
actual classics, so they bought knockoffs.
7
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:28,055
That explains
The Adventures of Chuckleberry Flynn.
8
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:30,652
I'm gonna read Trazan the Ape-Man.
9
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,857
He's got a pet cheetah named Monkey.
10
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,061
All right. Let's get started.
11
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:37,796
[All Chattering]
12
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,633
Trazan the Ape-Man.
13
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:43,937
"You may be shocked
as I describe this strange and unusual tale...
14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,945
"but I assure you
that every word is true.
15
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,948
[Earl Narrating]
And you may be shocked I'm reading to kids.
16
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,247
Well, like all good adventures,
it starts at the beginning.
17
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:56,220
Back before my list, me and Randy
got sentenced to community service...
18
00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,222
in the Humiliate
to Rehabilitate Program.
19
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,884
Hi, Dad!
20
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,598
How big's a body part gotta be
before we're supposed to report it?
21
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,931
- Fist or larger.
- Never mind then.
22
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:14,302
[Earl Narrating] It was crappy work,
but one guy made it kinda fun.
23
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:18,036
## [Singing Olympic Theme]
24
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:23,609
That guy's doin' the theme song from that show
that comes on every couple years...
25
00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:25,843
about the different colored people
with super powers...
26
00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,318
like swimming faster,
throwing sticks real far.
27
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,322
Oh, yeah.
I saw an episode of that once.
28
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,552
[Scottish Accent] Come on, fellas.
They're only gonna burn it later on!
29
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:37,494
Why should those bastards at the dump
have all the fun, eh?
30
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,964
Yeah, those guys at the dump do have all the fun.
Gimme that lighter.
31
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,467
[Chuckles]
Whoo!
32
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,834
This is a huge misunderstanding.
33
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,839
[Earl Narrating]
Raynard was so cool...
34
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,377
he let us crash with him
when our dad threw us out for the eighth time.
35
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,446
Come on in!
36
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,848
Earl, there's a bathtub
in the living room.
37
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,820
And he's got outside plants
growing on the inside.
38
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:05,550
I didn't grow them on the inside.
39
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:08,456
I just opened up the window
and gave the plants a choice.
40
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:13,555
Did you open the bathroom door
and give the tub a choice, or are you just crazy?
41
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:18,000
I'll tell you what is crazy is lettin' somebody
tell you where you can put your tub.
42
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:21,801
Believe me, the news isn't so depressing
when you're surrounded by bubbles.
43
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,103
Hmm.
44
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,337
I think your globe
is upside-down.
45
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,210
- Is not.
- No, I'm pretty sure it is.
46
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,715
Geography was the only class
I went to in high school.
47
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,719
The teacher was hot
and had a touch of the palsy.
48
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,153
She was always dropping stuff...
49
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:41,183
bendin' over to pick it up...
50
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,228
droppin' it again.
51
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,456
Mmm.
52
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:48,432
Anyway, the North Pole
should be on top.
53
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,993
[Scoffs]
There is no up or down in space, man!
54
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,005
Look at my hand.
55
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,008
It's a spaceship, and it's comin'
at the Earth like this. Okay?
56
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,136
[Imitates Rocket Engine]
And, okay, this is the top.
57
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,578
But if you come at it like this-
58
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,150
[Imitates Rocket Engine]
59
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:08,220
The top becomes the bottom.
60
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,023
Wow.
Makes you think.
61
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,356
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
62
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:18,191
A globe is the Earth?
63
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,765
# Oh, Susannah #
64
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,063
# Don't you cry for me #
65
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,365
# I come from Alabama #
66
00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:30,533
#With my banjo on my knee ##
67
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,543
[Earl Narrating]
As fun as Raynard was...
68
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:35,614
he was a little nervous
around the ladies.
69
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,245
Hey, nice, um-
70
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,547
[Stammering]
71
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,782
[Earl]
Let me handle this.
72
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,987
We're in a band.
We're opening for U2.
73
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:53,827
- U2?
- Yeah, me too. All of us.
74
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:58,836
That's right. So who wants to party with guys
that are gonna be sharing a shower with Bono?
75
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,065
Sweet!
76
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,972
Do you guys have a tour bus? 'Cause we
don't party with garage bands no more.
77
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,511
Uh, no.
But... we take the bus.
78
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:10,174
Raynard. He's kiddin'.
Yeah, we got one. A big, shiny one.
79
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,183
It's, like, a hundred feet long.
80
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,185
Okay, everybody stop talkin'.
81
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,090
Meet me outside in 10 minutes.
82
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:21,282
[Earl Narrating] I went out and stole
the first bus-like thing I could find.
83
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,294
- [Randy] Whoa!
- [Woman] Whoo!
84
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,694
We wanted to party
where we wouldn't be disturbed...
85
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:27,993
so we drove out to
the old abandoned Camden Scout camp.
86
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,093
Next morning we got the girls to leave
by telling them we had to rehearse...
87
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,104
and that we'd call 'em later.
88
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,299
Neither one of those things were true.
89
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,866
And we didn't want to get caught driving
a stolen bookmobile, so we walked too.
90
00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:41,947
My girl bit me.
Is that hot or scary?
91
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:49,648
And that's where our tour bus stayed until me
and Randy went out to do number 219-
92
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,224
stole a bookmobile.
93
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,359
But I don't understand
why I can't have one.
94
00:04:56,462 --> 00:05:00,057
I promise I'll feed it and walk it,
and if it's bad, I'll hit it with a shovel.
95
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,361
I'm not sure you're ready
for a puppy, Randy.
96
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,368
Let's see if she'll start.
97
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,064
- [Growling]
- Aah! What the hell?
98
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,733
- [Growling Continues]
- Raynard?
99
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:15,308
[Screams]
100
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:19,010
[Earl Reading] "No one who saw him could say
for certain ifhe was an ape or a man.
101
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:21,882
"Perhaps he was neither one
of those things.
102
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,424
Perhaps he was both."
103
00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:33,097
"Even though
we were paralyzed with fear...
104
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:36,600
"we couldn't help but gaze with wonder
at this most odd creature...
105
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:39,797
that looked so much like a man
but acted so much like a beast. "
106
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,431
- Raynard?
- [Growling]
107
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:49,038
- What are we gonna do?
- Well, Raynard always told us
to think for ourselves.
108
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:52,049
I think we should
set this thing on fire and run.
109
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:55,643
We can't leave him, Randy.
I got a feeling this might be all my fault.
110
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,916
- [Earl Narrating]
Turns out it was all my fault.
- [Knocking]
111
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,788
The last time I saw Raynard
was right after me and Joy got married.
112
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:03,088
- Earl! Buddy!
- Shh! Shh! Shh!
113
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,596
[Whispering]
Great to see you, Raynard.
114
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:08,724
But we gotta keep it down.
L-I got a wife now.
115
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,804
Pregnant. Hormones.
116
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:14,634
Little touchy.
Super hearing.
117
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,868
What's with all this chitter-chatter?
118
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:19,240
Hey, sugar.
It's my friend Raynard.
119
00:06:19,345 --> 00:06:21,313
Who cares?
I'm back there workin' my ass off...
120
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:23,814
trying to grow this baby,
and you're out here havin' a party?
121
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:26,407
I need peace and quiet!
122
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,852
[Sobbing] I mean, what if I'm growing
somethin' really important on the baby today...
123
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,789
like his brain or his wiener?
124
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,417
Do you even care?
125
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,928
I need a glass of Chablis!
126
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,800
- She seems nice.
- [Refrigerator Door Opens]
127
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,738
So, Earl, buddy, I was wondering
if I could crash with you guys for a while.
128
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,537
I got evicted.
[Chuckles]
129
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,612
- Cheers!
- Stop talkin' funny!
130
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,615
You can see what
I'm up against here.
131
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,776
[Whispering]
Joy's not gonna like it if I let you stay.
132
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:03,982
But... I've tried everywhere.
I've got nowhere else to go.
133
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:19,603
Earl, my water broke!
134
00:07:19,705 --> 00:07:23,471
Oh. Never mind. Never mind.
I just peed the bed.
135
00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:25,544
Come clean it up.
136
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:29,046
[Earl Narrating] After that night,
Raynard wandered broke and homeless for days...
137
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:33,608
until he stumbled across what was left
of Camden's library outreach program.
138
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:36,244
And that reminded him
of the bookmobile.
139
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,626
I gotta put him on the list, Randy.
140
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:45,629
When we were in trouble,
he let us crash at his place...
141
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:48,632
but when he needed somewhere to stay,
I didn't help him.
142
00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:51,635
But that's Joy's fault.
She was so mean when she was pregnant.
143
00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:53,637
And when she wasn't.
144
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:56,708
We coulda tried harder.
We should've been there for him.
145
00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:01,311
- [Growling]
- R-R-Raynard, don't be scared.
146
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,349
It's- It's- It's Earl and Randy Hickey.
Do you remember us?
147
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:07,715
We stole this bookmobile with you.
148
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,983
- We're your friends.
- [Low Growling]
149
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,720
[Sniffing]
150
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,994
You're... friend!
151
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,002
- Friend!
- What's the matter, buddy?
152
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,937
You been living in the woods so long
you forgot how to speak?
153
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,940
L-
[Exhales, Stammers]
154
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:33,637
No one... speak... to... me.
155
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:38,945
Cool. He figured out a way
to talk out here using less words.
156
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,951
What a time-saver.
157
00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:43,078
Me like you talk.
158
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,714
Me like you talk too!
159
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,191
[Inhales]
Smell Raynard?
160
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:49,761
No, thanks.
Just like talk part.
161
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,729
- [Sniffs]
- [Earl] So, what are you doing out here?
162
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,356
Y-You okay?
163
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,594
[Exhales]
Yeah. Happy.
164
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,227
It's, uh, paradise.
165
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,238
Yeah, it's- it's beautiful.
166
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,774
But where do you find food and stuff?
167
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,503
Food?
168
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,806
Food. You hungry!
169
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,474
I be back!
170
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,778
Weird.
171
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,876
I think he's gone crazy.
172
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:17,387
I don't know, Earl.
He seems happy.
173
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,481
Plus he's got a pretty sweet set-up.
174
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:22,117
Maybe we're the crazy ones
for not living like this.
175
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,959
Friend, this is my hot wife, Charlene!
176
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,327
[Chittering]
177
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,993
- Nope. He's the crazy one.
- Yeah.
178
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:32,093
Food. Mmm!
179
00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,264
Hot wife.
Perfect life.
180
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:37,638
[Earl Narrating]
And then I realized why he was crazy.
181
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,643
Me and Randy had seen
those berries before.
182
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:43,306
Back when I was married toJoy
and the bill collectors got to be too much...
183
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,316
sometimes we'd go campin'.
184
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,910
Y'all be honest.
Is the bottom half of me a horse right now?
185
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:52,081
Joy, what's wrong with you?
186
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,921
[Distorted Voice] Joy, say somethin'.
You're weirdin' me out.
187
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,961
- # Rainy day mushroom pillow #
- [Distorted Voice] Hello. Anybody home?
188
00:09:57,063 --> 00:10:00,032
#Colors green, brown
and yellow #
189
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:03,624
#Poisoned dreams
Distorted dreams #
190
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,829
Freak head!
191
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,429
- # Mushroom dreams #
- Baby, no!
192
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,270
- [Groans]
- [Body Thuds]
193
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:15,473
How about we skip the berries
a-and go in my car and-and get a pizza?
194
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:19,642
- Huh?
- Earl, you're usin' too many words.
195
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,721
[Distorted Voice]
Pizza. Come on. We go.
196
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:25,723
Rubber face!
[Screaming]
197
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,726
[Earl]
Poor guy.
198
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:31,558
Living out here eating crazy berries...
199
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,565
and doing God knows what
with a raccoon.
200
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,567
We gotta bring him back
to civilization.
201
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:39,900
Hey, Earl, when we catch Raynard,
can I keep him for a pet?
202
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,668
What? No! He's a person!
203
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:45,505
Here, Raynard.
Here, boy.
204
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:49,638
Come with us
and see what you've missed.
205
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,651
Remember how you used to like
puttin' a lime in your beer?
206
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:56,654
Well, now they make beer
with the lime already in it.
207
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,656
Crazy, huh?
208
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:03,161
And everybody's got a phone in their pocket
and a dog in their purse.
209
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,162
And cars fly,
and everybody's rich.
210
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,164
- Don't oversell it.
- Well-
211
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,757
- Aah!
- [Snarling]
212
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:15,000
Raynard, just try to fight
through the crazy berries and listen.
213
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:19,840
- It's Earl. I'm your friend, and I wanna help you!
- [Screaming, Shouting]
214
00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:23,904
All right, you know what?
You're not the only one that can climb a tree.
215
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,951
- I'm coming up there after you.
- [Screaming Continues]
216
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,581
- [Branch Cracking]
- Randy!
217
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,217
[Shrieks]
218
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,352
[Snarling, Growling]
219
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:42,462
[Earl Reading]
"We watched in awe as he ran away...
220
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:45,696
"as sure-footed as a mountain goat,
as fast as a jackrabbit.
221
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:49,673
"And we knew we wouldn't be able
to catch him with our strength.
222
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:52,039
We would have to use our brains."
223
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,240
"The ape-man used
his primitive skills to escape...
224
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,250
"but we knew we were smarter.
225
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:03,879
So we decided to set a trap,
and that required bait. "
226
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:05,889
Don't mention this to my boss.
227
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:09,427
There's a strict policy at the club
against letting people lure you into the woods.
228
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,897
#Jump, jump, jump, jump #
229
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:17,298
#Jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump #
230
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,803
## [Continues]
231
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,497
#Jump around #
232
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,968
#Jump around
Jump around #
233
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,341
#Jump up
Jump up and get down #
234
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:32,281
- # Jump, jumpJump, jump, jump #
- [Sniffing]
235
00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:34,852
[Screams]
What kind of freaky crap is that?
236
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,615
[Catalina Continues Screaming]
237
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,519
[Chittering]
238
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:45,654
I guess there was more to that relationship
than I thought.
239
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,826
"In an effort to civilize this beast-man,
we brought him back to the city.
240
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:54,235
"To see such a monster
paraded through town made people stare.
241
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:58,037
"Most were disgusted,
but some were overcome with curiosity.
242
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:01,910
We knew for the creature's own good,
we had to tame it quickly. "
243
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,845
[Screaming]
244
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,544
The hell is that idiot doing with
a wild man tied up in the back of his car?
245
00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:11,783
That Earl and his list.
He gets himself in so many predicaments.
246
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:14,792
[Earl Narrating] We were in a hurry
to get Raynard back to normal.
247
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:17,294
Luckily, Catalina knew about
something called a colonic...
248
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,796
that gets all the bad stuff
out of your body.
249
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,799
Oh, man.
Bad news, Raynard.
250
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,131
The hose goes in the other end.
251
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:26,636
[Grunting]
252
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:31,199
Don't worry. I got a G.I. Joe
stuck up there on accident once.
253
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:35,610
This hose is a lot smaller, and there's
no gun to get caught on anything.
254
00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:37,841
[Screaming]
255
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:41,647
[Earl Narrating] While I hope to never have
to give another dude a forced colonic...
256
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,188
it was good to see Raynard
back in his right mind again.
257
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,190
Married? To a raccoon?
258
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:50,285
Those must be some powerful berries!
259
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,364
It was a girl raccoon, right?
260
00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:57,333
- Yeah.
- [Exhales]
261
00:13:57,436 --> 00:14:00,837
[Earl Narrating] The next step to gettin'Raynard
back on his feet was getting him cleaned up.
262
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,841
Now is that one a tick or a mole?
263
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,013
- [Sizzling]
- Aaah! Whoa!
264
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,015
Mole.
265
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:15,883
And after we got him cleaned up,
it was time to find him a job.
266
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:18,889
So I got him a deliveryjob
at Camden Foreign Foods.
267
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,891
I figured he couldn't mess it up...
268
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:23,894
'cause all he had to do was hand people food
and take their money.
269
00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:27,693
You don't give them the food
if they don't give you the money!
270
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,701
Yeah, but she gave me
something better than money.
271
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:34,671
We give her half a chicken,
she gives us a whole chicken.
272
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:38,231
- That's two for one where I come from, buttercup.
- You are fired!
273
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:41,677
[Earl Narrating] After Senor Lo Mein
didn't work out, I got Raynard a job...
274
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,647
somewhere that standards were so low
I didn't think he'd get in trouble.
275
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,775
You put the little soap
on the pillows?
276
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,912
Yeah. It forces you to get out of the shower,
walk in here naked...
277
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:52,456
feel the delightful sting
of the air conditioning on your privates!
278
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:56,050
Really pulls the drawstring tight
on your coin purse, huh?
279
00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:59,858
[Whining]
It's always candy on the pillow!
280
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:02,661
- # Don't bring me down #
- [Earl Narrating]
Finally I found Raynard a job...
281
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:05,931
where it didn't matter how you did it
as long as thejob got done.
282
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:08,939
The hell are you doin'?
That's the rat hole I was talkin' about.
283
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,838
You gotta spray the poison in there.
284
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:14,208
I'm not gonna spray it in the hole.
I'll spray it around the hole.
285
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:17,407
If the rat comes out of the hole
and he steps into the poison...
286
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:20,144
he steps in the poison
of his own free will.
287
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,743
I don't give a rat's ass
about that rat's ass and his free will.
288
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:26,416
- You won't do it, I'll do it myself.
- That's not your choice to make!
289
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:28,789
- It's the rat's choice!
- Give it!
290
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:32,091
How would you like it if someone
sprayed you inside your house?
291
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:34,757
Aaah! Aaah!
292
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,335
Darnell, call the police!
293
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,836
Exterminator sprayed me in the face
with rat poison again!
294
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,134
#I'll tell you once more
before I get off the floor#
295
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,209
[Earl Narrating]
I'd had enough of Raynard's free thinkin'.
296
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:47,143
- # Don't bring me down ##
- I decided to post his bail and call it even...
297
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:50,545
until I found out they hadn't
taken Raynard tojail.
298
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:57,185
[Sighs]
Well, my official diagnosis is A.P.D.
299
00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,486
That's antisocial personality disorder...
300
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,685
and a pretty advanced case of that.
301
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,695
Oh, here.
See for yourself.
302
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,061
- Earl. Earl!
- Randy, enough.
303
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:10,329
Santa Claus would not be working
in a mental institution.
304
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:15,373
Why are you so afraid of me, man?
'Cause I'm different? Because I sound funny?
305
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:18,443
[Imitating American Accent] I can talk
just like everybody else here if I wanted to.
306
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:21,377
Would you be more comfortable
if we talked about hot dogs and apple pie?
307
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,914
Or we could tailgate
and drink some light beer!
308
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:28,043
[Normal Voice] Or are youse afraid of me because
I don't blindly follow your rules...
309
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,053
because I'm not a sheep like you?
310
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,919
Huh? [Bleating]
311
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:35,892
Ho ho ho ho ho!
That was a good one.
312
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,895
[Chuckles]
313
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,898
Luckily society has a place
for people like your friend.
314
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,230
- Do they make toys there?
- [Whispers] Randy.
315
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,895
Don't worry. He'll be
well taken care of.
316
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,099
After a couple of days on the meds,
he won't even need the straps.
317
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,233
- Can I talk to him?
- Of course.
318
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,403
I'll have my assistant take you in.
319
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,037
Karen!
320
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,075
- [Gasps]
- Would you like to follow me?
321
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:03,518
Okay, Randy, that's weird.
I admit it.
322
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:07,058
[Earl Narrating]
It was sad seeing Raynard all drugged up...
323
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,252
but after trying to help him fit in...
324
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:13,627
I had to agree that hejust didn't
belong in the normal world.
325
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,467
I like candy.
Do you have candy?
326
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,765
- No. Do you?
- No! Do you?
327
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,307
- No. Do you?
- No! Do you?
328
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:24,637
No.
329
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,210
Do you?
330
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:30,047
Hey there, Raynard.
331
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:32,049
How you feelin'?
332
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,585
Put out your hand.
333
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,093
You didn't think I was gonna
let these dillweeds...
334
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:46,096
take me for a ride
on their monkey train, did ya?
335
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:49,065
How 'bout you untie me
and let's get out of here?
336
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,069
I don't think that's the best idea.
337
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:56,335
The best idea would have been for you to
leave me in the woods where I was happy, man.
338
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,343
I've tried living in your world.
Look where it got me.
339
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:02,278
I don't know if you were
really better off out there.
340
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:05,179
You were hallucinating
on crazy berries.
341
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:08,185
Look, I'm not gonna eat any more
of those damn berries.
342
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:13,156
Please. The next time I see a raccoon,
we're just gonna be friends.
343
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,027
Come on, Earl.
I'm dying here.
344
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:19,689
[Earl Narrating]
Raynard was right.
345
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:24,462
He didn't belong locked up and pumped
full of drugs. He belonged in the wild.
346
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:27,164
I just had to figure out
how to get him back there.
347
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:30,935
[Patients Muttering]
348
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:34,945
Yo, buddy, will you help me do a magic trick
to entertain the folks?
349
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,947
Sure.
350
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,279
Hey, everybody!
Check this out!
351
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,584
Whoa!
352
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,053
- Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho, man!
- [Patients Murmuring]
353
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:52,392
This guy is full of candy...
354
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:55,399
like a giant pinata.
355
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,799
- Candy! Candy!
- [All Shouting]
356
00:18:57,903 --> 00:19:00,235
- [Alarm Blaring]
- Candy! Candy!
357
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:02,364
[Shouting Continues]
358
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,406
Candy! You're supposed
to share a piece!
359
00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:22,154
Sorry I gotta take the bookmobile back.
360
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:26,027
- Are you sure you're all right with the tent?
- Yeah, man. Take it back.
361
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,031
That thing's way too restrictive.
362
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:31,398
Besides, I already read
or ate most of the books.
363
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:35,006
You hear that?
364
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,597
Hear what?
365
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:39,336
Exactly.
That's the sound of freedom.
366
00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:41,344
[Chittering]
367
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,914
That chirpin' is the sound
of Charlene in heat.
368
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,211
That's gonna be a tough conversation.
369
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:49,412
I could hit her with the bookmobile
on my way out.
370
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:52,115
I don't wanna know.
371
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:56,126
Thanks for everything, Earl.
Thanks for bringin' me home.
372
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,994
[Earl Reading] "At last he was returned
to where he belonged.
373
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:06,036
"What we had once feared
we came to admire.
374
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:09,699
"He had the courage
to think freely, to live freely...
375
00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:11,776
"to truly live.
376
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:15,745
He was Trazan, king of the jungle."
377
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:17,815
The end.
378
00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:23,246
[Earl Narrating]
I was glad to bring the bookmobile back.
379
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:27,257
All those books were gonna help the kids
see the world in a whole new way...
380
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:28,792
kinda like Raynard did for me.
381
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,555
Where did Trazan live?
382
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:34,598
Well, the story
takes place in Africa...
383
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,600
which is down here.
384
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:39,830
Or another way to look at it...
385
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:45,040
is that it's up here.
386
00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:47,111
Makes you think, doesn't it?
387
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:49,112
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
388
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:51,614
A map is also the Earth?