1
00:00:03,590 --> 00:00:07,150
Earl, I need you to drive over toJoy's
and punch her in the face.
2
00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:09,630
I don't think that's a good idea, Randy.
3
00:00:09,730 --> 00:00:12,560
Are you sayin' that
because it's a great idea?
4
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:16,660
- She did it again, didn't she?
- Uh-huh.
5
00:00:16,770 --> 00:00:18,670
And it was a real fancy bird.
6
00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:24,570
[Earl Narrating] Randy had invested
a lot ofhis time and my money...
7
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,170
into the Crab Shack claw machine.
8
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,720
- I won a horse!
- Who won a horse?
9
00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:32,580
- # Mattie told Hattie #
- But thanks toJoy,
he didn't have much to show for it.
10
00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:35,550
#About a thing she saw #
11
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,420
- I won a spider!
- I will take that. Thank you.
12
00:00:38,530 --> 00:00:43,190
#And a woolyjaw
Wooly bully #
13
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:46,600
I won a bird dressed up for a wedding.
You're not gettin' it.
14
00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:48,930
- # Wooly bully #
- Catch.
15
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,770
- # Wooly bully #
- [Joy Laughing]
16
00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:53,900
#Woolly bully
Watch it now, watch it #
17
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,880
- # You got it
You got it ##
- [Crying]
18
00:00:57,950 --> 00:00:59,850
Randy, you're 32 years old.
19
00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:02,180
I can't protect you
from your bullies forever.
20
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,310
You need to learn to stick up for yourself.
Joy's not goin' anywhere.
21
00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:07,580
- She's part of our lives.
- Man!
22
00:01:07,690 --> 00:01:10,210
I'm always gonna regret
givin' her that Heimlich.
23
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,420
I mean, first she sued me, and now this?
24
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,860
Look, I know I go overboard
lookin' out for you...
25
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,860
but I'm not doin' it anymore.
26
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,020
And while we're at it, I'm not kissin'
your boo-boos anymore either.
27
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:22,500
- It's gettin' awkward.
- Even when we're alone?
28
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,800
Especially when we're alone.
29
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,570
You know the kind of guy
who does nothing but bad things...
30
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,370
and then wonders why his life sucks?
31
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,940
Well, that was me. Every time
somethin'good happened to me...
32
00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,520
somethin'bad was always waitin'
around the corner.
33
00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:41,980
Karma.
34
00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:44,390
That's when I realized I had to change.
35
00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:48,290
So I made a list of everything bad
I've ever done...
36
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,360
and, one by one,
I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes.
37
00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:53,430
I'm just tryin'to be a better person.
38
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,160
My name is Earl.
39
00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,410
[Earl Narrating]
While Randy was bummed...
40
00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:03,840
becauseJoy kept takin'
his claw machine toys, I was kinda happy...
41
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:06,110
- 'cause it reminded me of something on my list.
- [Randy] Hmmm.
42
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:13,740
Hmmm.
43
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:16,620
Randy, this tantrum
is gettin' out of control.
44
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,990
Here we go. Number 32-
bullied Wally Panzer.
45
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,000
[Earl Narrating]
When I was in the eighth grade...
46
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,830
my parents made a last-ditch effort
to fix me- Catholic school.
47
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:30,200
I knew that the new kid at school
usually got picked on...
48
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,330
unless there was someone
lower on the totem pole than him...
49
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,310
so I decided to make that happen.
50
00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:37,310
[Grunts]
51
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:42,310
[Screaming]
52
00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:45,390
That kid loves butterflies.
53
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,720
And he hates when they die.
54
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,450
Wally Panzer? More like Wally Pansy.
55
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,720
[Earl Narrating]
And once I smelled blood in the water...
56
00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:54,920
I didn't let up.
57
00:02:55,030 --> 00:02:57,360
- [Laughing]
- Hey, everyone, look.
58
00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:59,400
It's Pants-less Pansy.
59
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,230
[Earl Narrating]
But, like most things in life, I pushed it too far.
60
00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:04,430
- [Chanting] Pansy! Pansy! Pansy!
- Even though I got kicked out...
61
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,440
my legacy lived on.
62
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,840
Wally wasn't hard to find since if you
hadn't left Camden by grade school...
63
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,430
odds are you weren't
leaving Camden at all.
64
00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:15,670
Okay, the way I remember it,
this guy was pretty delicate as a kid...
65
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,680
so try to be as friendly as possible.
66
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,680
I don't want to spook him.
67
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:29,490
- What do you want?
- Uh, are you, uh, Wally Panzer?
68
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,000
Yeah. Who are you?
69
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,830
- Cliff.
- You here about my ad in The PennySaver?
70
00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:37,770
- Mm-hmm.
- Awesome.
71
00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:40,530
I hope you're ready for some pain.
72
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,840
I'm gonna get my belt.
73
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,540
Man, you must be scared.
You forgot your name.
74
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:48,580
I didn't forget my name, Randy.
I just don't want him to know who I am.
75
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,780
Why is he gettin' his belt?
76
00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:54,350
That's what Dad used to say.
Are we gonna get spanked?
77
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:56,250
I guess it depends on what's in his ad.
78
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,190
Why don't you just tell him
why you're here?
79
00:03:58,290 --> 00:04:00,990
Because if I tell him who I am,
he'll probably kill me.
80
00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:03,290
I'm gonna have to try
to cross him off the list...
81
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,300
without him ever knowin' who I am.
82
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,700
We're just gonna have to
take our chances with the ad.
83
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:12,030
- What if his ad is sex?
- I hope it's not sex.
84
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:15,300
All right. You guys ready to pump?
85
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:20,310
Oh, God. He does want
to have sex with us.
86
00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:23,320
"Us"? You. Cliff answered the ad.
87
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:25,080
Come on. Let's hit the gym.
88
00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:28,450
Ahhh. We're gonna work out together.
89
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,360
Awesome. I hope this gym has group showers
like the ones we had at school.
90
00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:35,090
I want to show everybody I have hair now.
91
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:39,170
[Earl Narrating] I wasn't sure how
karma was gonna feel about me lyin'...
92
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:42,170
but it turns out karma
already had a plan in motion-
93
00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:45,070
to torture me the way I tortured Wally.
94
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,070
What the hell'd you do that for?
95
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,070
To get us pumped!
96
00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:51,340
Come on, Cliff. Hit me back.
97
00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:54,350
Go ahead.
98
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,310
Good.
[Grunts]
99
00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:03,450
Wally was so hard-core, he'd already
broken three partners before me.
100
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,460
Come on, Cliff. Push it.
101
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,990
You can do it. Two more. It's all you.
102
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,690
How about a little less me and-
[Spits] a little more you?
103
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:16,700
- Here we go.
- [Groans]
104
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,430
It slipped. I'll get it.
105
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:23,740
- Come on.
- What do you say we take a quick break?
106
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,470
So I figured if I got big and strong...
107
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,520
my bully would leave me alone.
108
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:33,050
How long do I have to bounce on this thing
before I look like you guys?
109
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,820
You wanna really get ripped,
you gotta work with some free weights.
110
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,950
Good. 'Cause I don't have any money.
111
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:41,050
Don't worry, man. We'll buff you out.
112
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,360
[Chuckles]
So, uh, how big is your bully?
113
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,630
About this tall...
114
00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:50,670
this wide and...
115
00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:52,670
about a 32 "C."
116
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,800
Wait. Your bully's a girl?
117
00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:58,970
Really tough girl-
118
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,340
32 "C."
119
00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:03,850
Dude, if your bully's a girl,
it's not about how big you are.
120
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:05,850
It's about confidence.
121
00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:12,680
What you need is 100% pure shark
adrenaline. It'll turn you into a beast.
122
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:16,490
You'll destroy everyone and everything
that gets in your way.
123
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,430
Especially baby seals.
124
00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:22,930
Mmm, man. What I wouldn't give
for a baby seal right now.
125
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,900
- [Grunts]
- Cool. So what's it taste like?
126
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,240
Uh, the drugs, not the baby seal.
I know what those taste like.
127
00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,940
Oh, you don't drink this.
You inject it into your scrotum.
128
00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:34,710
Yeah.
129
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:40,280
[Screaming]
Oh, my God!
130
00:06:40,390 --> 00:06:42,550
That's my scrotum?
131
00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:44,950
[Screams]
132
00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:49,620
[Groaning]
133
00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:08,480
[Earl]
Mr. Camden, huh?
134
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,550
Pretty big deal.
135
00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:13,280
I was there when Mr. Camden 1998
cut the ribbon...
136
00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:16,050
at the opening ceremony
of the new welfare office.
137
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,150
Me and my brother were third in line.
138
00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:20,620
Ah, the Mr. Camden competition is stupid.
139
00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:22,750
Stupid? Really?
140
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,960
Look at all this stuff you can win.
141
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,330
You could get a month's worth
of somethin' called DVD rentals...
142
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,930
an office-quality paper shredder...
143
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,370
and a gift certificate
for all you can eat sushi...
144
00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:36,840
from Sensei Yum Yum's.
145
00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:39,470
Okay, fine. Yes, of course I wanna win.
146
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:41,480
It's always been a dream of mine.
147
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,570
But there's just some stuff
I'm not willin' to do.
148
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,880
[Earl Narrating]
Wally told me competin'in Mr. Camden...
149
00:07:45,990 --> 00:07:48,820
- involved a lot of things other than just muscles.
- [Crowd Cheering]
150
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,320
You were expected to shave everything
that wasn't covered by tiny pants...
151
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,330
have a head-to-toe tan...
152
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,730
and oil yourselflike a catcher's mitt...
153
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:59,300
and Wally wasn't into that stuff.
154
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,170
[Roaring]
155
00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,700
I don't care if that contest
comes with a talking pet monkey.
156
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:08,040
It ain't worth
turnin' myself into a pansy.
157
00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:12,640
I knew something was wrong, 'cause no man
would turn down a talking pet monkey.
158
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:15,940
Then I realized- Me callin' Wally a pansy
when we were kids...
159
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,310
was stoppin'him
from trying to be Mr. Camden.
160
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,280
Randy, you're not gonna believe
what just happened.
161
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:23,820
I was just gonna say the same thing.
162
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,020
I know how I can cross Wally off my list.
163
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,620
I'm gonna help him get over his fear so
he can win the Mr. Camden competition.
164
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,990
See ya later, buddy.
165
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,500
I just got a shot in my balls.
166
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,500
Look, I've been thinkin'.
167
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,600
You're the biggest, strongest guy
I've ever seen. You should be Mr. Camden.
168
00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:45,040
It just makes sense, like how the biggest,
strongest peanut became Mr. Peanut.
169
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,880
- What?
- It's true. Don't you ever read the jar?
170
00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:51,680
Cliff, dudes like me and you-
We don't do all that pansy stuff.
171
00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:54,220
We wear flannel. We have body hair.
172
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,350
We really like soups that are so hearty,
you eat them with a fork.
173
00:08:57,460 --> 00:09:00,650
Are you kiddin'? I'm totally gonna
do all that bodybuilder stuff...
174
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,660
as soon as I'm ripped like you.
175
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,530
Why do you think I was lookin'
for a training partner?
176
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,530
I don't know, Cliff.
177
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,630
Come on. W-We'll do it together.
178
00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:14,230
Two men shavin', tannin',
oilin' each other up.
179
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,710
We won't talk about it. We'll just do it.
180
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,220
All right.
181
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,690
If a man's man like you
can do it, then I guess I can too.
182
00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:31,850
Hot damn. I'm gonna be Mr. Camden.
183
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,220
Let's get psyched.
184
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:36,450
[Groans]
185
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,860
Good. Good.
186
00:09:38,970 --> 00:09:43,630
Uh, could we work out
some kinda signal before you do that?
187
00:09:43,740 --> 00:09:45,760
[Earl Narrating]
Just like Marcus and Kyle had promised...
188
00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:48,900
that shark adrenaline
was starting to affect Randy's attitude.
189
00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:54,270
Hand over the floppy puppy.
190
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:57,610
- You're not gettin' my floppy puppy.
- Gimme the floppy puppy.
191
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,910
No. Mine!
[Guttural Voice] Mine!
192
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:02,960
Kill her. Kill her. I know a guy who can
make any death look like a suicide.
193
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,390
[Snarls]
194
00:10:05,490 --> 00:10:08,720
- [Growling]
- Fine! Keep the stupid dog.
195
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:11,760
Big baby.
196
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,830
I did it! Victory.
197
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,000
I got my floppy puppy.
198
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,070
But I had to burn through my week's supply
of that shark adrenaline.
199
00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:24,410
- I'm gonna need more.
- Well, Kyle should be back from-
200
00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:25,840
[Guttural Voice]
Now.
201
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:28,070
[Earl Narrating]
To help Wally win the Mr. Camden title...
202
00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,910
I was gonna have to do some things
that made me uncomfortable-
203
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:32,920
smooth, but uncomfortable.
204
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,510
I don't know. This doesn't feel right.
205
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:38,560
Come on. It's perfectly manly to do this.
206
00:10:38,660 --> 00:10:41,020
And these lady razors
are exactly like the men's.
207
00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:43,430
They'rejust a little more flexible...
208
00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:45,260
to move with the contours of our legs.
209
00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:54,470
- Okay.
- [Earl Narrating] It looked like I had Wally...
210
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,040
on the road to becoming Mr. Camden.
211
00:10:57,140 --> 00:11:00,310
I just didn't know trouble
was comin'around the corner.
212
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,010
[Gasps]
213
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,350
Bros! What the hell?
214
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,690
Relax, Randy. We're just
shavin' for the competition.
215
00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:13,850
What are you competin' for,
who gets to be on the bottom? Pansies.
216
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,290
What's he talkin' about?
217
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,870
Tell him, Cliff. We're not pansies.
218
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:22,990
"Cliff"? You still
stickin' with that name?
219
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,000
You haven't told him who you really are?
220
00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:27,070
Wh-Wh-What are you talkin' about, Randy?
221
00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:30,200
L-I am who I am. I'm Cliff.
222
00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,970
Man, I don't know which one of you
is a bigger pansy-
223
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,140
Wally for actually bein' a pansy...
224
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:38,410
or you for bein' too afraid
to tell him your real name...
225
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,450
Earl.
226
00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:45,890
- Wait a minute. Earl?
- [Door Closes]
227
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:47,890
Pansy?
228
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,670
Earl Hickey?
229
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:56,600
[Stammering]
I guess Cliff is more-more of a nickname.
230
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,600
But-But look, I can explain.
231
00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:01,870
I always dreamed I'd
run into you again, Earl Hickey.
232
00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:05,040
L-I dream about stuff too.
233
00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:07,840
[Squeals]
234
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:11,780
I'm glad you're here.
You can clean up my splatter, lady legs.
235
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,880
- Randy, what the hell has gotten into you?
- Shark adrenaline.
236
00:12:13,990 --> 00:12:16,420
- That's what's gotten into me, and I love it.
- [Pounding]
237
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,190
- [Screams]
- [Growling]
238
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:25,930
- [Screaming]
- Damn it, Earl. Open this door.
239
00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:28,400
Well, just, uh-Just give me a second.
240
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,400
Let me at least get my jeans on.
241
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,400
I don't wanna die in my underpants.
242
00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:35,630
Unlock it, Earl.
Take your medicine like a man.
243
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:39,110
[High-pitched Voice]
No way. What? You pee blue.
244
00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:41,870
Aaah! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
245
00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:43,880
- Aaah!
- [Clattering]
246
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:47,610
[Groans]
I'm really sorry. I got a list.
247
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,550
- [Grunts]
- It's a karma list. It's really hard to explain.
248
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,650
- I was just trying to help.
- By making me look like a pansy?
249
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,390
- [Squealing] No!
- [Grunts]
250
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:06,470
Hey, fella, you wanna party?
251
00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:08,510
I'm not sharin' mine.
252
00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:11,700
What the hell are you doin; jerk?
253
00:13:11,810 --> 00:13:13,840
This was my favorite wall.
254
00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:16,250
Randy, no, no, no, no, no.
255
00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:19,150
[Earl Narrating] I wanted to get things
under control before they got too crazy.
256
00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:24,780
#Keep your eyes on the road #
257
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:27,360
- # Your hands upon the wheel #
- [Roars]
258
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,960
#Keep your eyes on the road #
259
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:36,520
#Your hands upon the wheel #
260
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:41,330
- You take back what you said.
- # We're goin'to the roadhouse #
261
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:46,610
- [Groans]
- # We're gonna have a real good time #
262
00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:50,650
Aaah! Thanks. You just released
more shark juice from my scrote.
263
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,120
- [Groans]
- No, no, no, no! No, Randy.
264
00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,380
- [Bellows]
- [Screams]
265
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:58,150
Randy, you gotta stop this before you get-
266
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:01,790
[Grunts]
Wally, hold on. I'm tryin' to-
267
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,620
[Groaning]
268
00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:05,490
Cut it out, spaz!
269
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,830
- [Groans]
- # Let it roll #
270
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:10,960
#All night long #
271
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:13,700
[Earl Narrating]
It was no fun being in the middle of two monsters...
272
00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:17,240
- but they were monsters I had created.
- Randy!
273
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:20,310
I created one by telling him
to stand up for himself...
274
00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:22,680
and the other by pushing him down.
275
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,220
[Groaning, Grunting]
276
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,610
[Horn Honking]
277
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:36,990
Sam, I'm goin' around back to grab some ice.
You mind watching the bar for a second?
278
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:43,740
[Snarling]
279
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,430
- # Well, I woke up this mornin'#
- Who's a pansy now, huh?
280
00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:48,870
- # I got myself a beer#
- Okay, come on.
281
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,500
[Roars]
282
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,580
#Well, I woke up
this morning #
283
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,210
- # And I got myself a beer#
- [Snarling]
284
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:05,320
#The future's uncertain
And the end is always near#
285
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:07,720
[Grunting]
286
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:11,730
#Let it roll, baby, roll #
287
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:15,960
#Let it roll, baby, roll #
288
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:20,030
#Let it roll, baby, roll #
289
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:22,440
#Let it roll #
290
00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:24,170
Aaah!
291
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,640
- # All night long ##
- What the-
292
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,980
[Earl Narrating]
There was only one thing
that could distract Randy...
293
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,550
from fightin'with Wally-
294
00:15:34,950 --> 00:15:37,820
the return ofhis original bully, Joy.
295
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,790
She got my babies!
296
00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:42,420
[Grunting]
297
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:57,780
Sam, may we have a word?
298
00:15:57,910 --> 00:16:00,280
[Earl Narrating]
It took me 20 minutes to get into my car...
299
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:04,210
but I knew I had to do whatever it took to
stop Randy before he killed somebody...
300
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,310
and I wasn't the only one lookin'for him.
301
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,750
Wally was also following
the path of destruction.
302
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:11,220
- Hey! Where's the guy who did this?
- [Muffled]
303
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,950
I should have guessed that path of destruction
would only lead to one place.
304
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,720
So I told that teacher,
"I'm glad my son's flunkin' Spanish.
305
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:19,990
Frankly, I'd be disappointed
if he wasn't."
306
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:24,670
- Oh, God.
- I want my claw machine toys.
307
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:27,640
All of'em, including
the ones you took today.
308
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:30,640
Eugenia, call the police
right now. I'm at-
309
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:36,680
I'll get you a bag.
310
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,010
[Earl Narrating]
Randy was happy he got all ofhis toys-
311
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,280
- well, except for one.
- [Squeaking]
312
00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:49,130
Give me that bird dressed for a wedding.
313
00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:52,960
- Hey, Uncle Randy.
- I said I want my dressed-up birdie, punk.
314
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:56,830
- But it's mine. Mommy got it for me yesterday.
- Gimme that dressed-up birdie!
315
00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:59,230
[Squeaks]
316
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,470
[Earl Narrating]
Though nothin'had stopped this monster so far-
317
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:04,810
- [Sobbing]
- there was one thing he wasn't prepared for.
318
00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:08,070
Even though the shark adrenaline
had completely taken over his brain...
319
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:11,210
there was still one thing
that could get through to the old Randy:
320
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,720
The cry of a bullied child...
321
00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:16,620
especially since this time
he was the bully.
322
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,320
Oh, my God. What am I doin'?
323
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,330
But when I came around that corner...
324
00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:25,090
all I saw was a juiced-up maniac
headin'right for a kid.
325
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,720
[Yelling, Groaning]
326
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:37,670
Sorry, buddy, but-
[Panting]
327
00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,770
You turned into a monster.
328
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,410
But it wasn't your fault though.
329
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,110
I pushed you to be a tough guy
and stand up toJoy...
330
00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:48,150
but you're not a tough guy.
331
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:51,250
You're a sweet, gentle, sensitive guy.
332
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,550
L- I shouldn't have made you change.
333
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:58,530
Bein' sweet and sensitive
is a good thing. Randy?
334
00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:02,470
[Earl Narrating] Randy didn't hear me
since his brain was kinda swollen at the time...
335
00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:04,560
but my words did have
an effect on someone.
336
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,610
You know what, Earl?
337
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,970
I used to be sensitive too.
338
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:15,310
Wally had been sensitive, but I made him
ashamed of it back when we were kids.
339
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:17,650
I'm sorry, Wally.
340
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:21,380
I should have never
bullied that out of you.
341
00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:23,720
Something about what I said
made Wally realize...
342
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:26,450
that you might be able
to change how you look on the outside-
343
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,150
- [Crowd Cheering, Clapping]
- but you can't change
who you are on the inside.
344
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:33,760
No matter how big and strong
Wally made his outer shell...
345
00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:37,830
he couldn't change the sweetness inside
he was trying to protect.
346
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:41,340
And Wally was finally ready
to embrace both of those people-
347
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:46,170
the bodybuilder and the little kid
who loved butterflies.
348
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,840
And, like a butterfly,
Wally finally came out ofhis cocoon...
349
00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:52,540
and became the person
he was meant to be.
350
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,050
[Grunts]
351
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,810
[Grunts]
352
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,560
[Exhales]
353
00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:48,300
[Grunts]
354
00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:56,840
- [Snorts]
- Sorry again.
355
00:19:56,950 --> 00:19:58,850
For what?
356
00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:02,480
Oh, hittin' me with the car?
That's okay.
357
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:05,350
- Hey, Earl?
- Yeah, Randy?
358
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,480
Do you think kryptonite
works on people who aren't Superman?
359
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,830
I don't know. Probably not.
360
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:18,660
- What about garlic?
- That only works on vampires.
361
00:20:18,770 --> 00:20:22,070
- Apples?
- Pretty sure that's only for doctors.
362
00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:26,670
- Who you tryin' to keep away?
- Joy.
363
00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:34,380
- Try hummus.
- Thanks, Earl.
364
00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:36,390
Good night, Randy.
365
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:38,390
Good night, Earl.