( Theme music playing )
Calvin: When you run a neighborhood business,
you got to take walk-in customers.
Only problem with that... People are always walking in.
Excuse me, miss, there's a beauty shop around the corner.
We're kind of full. We don't usually do women.
Yes, you do.
Damn right we do.
- Hey. - Baby girl.
- What is that boy doing? - Damn.
- ( All muttering ) - Get the fuck out of here.
( Muttering continues )
Y'all need to get a room.
Terri: You gonna punch out?
Damn.
( Giggles )
Am I finished?
Gotta put up a new sign... "no fuckin'."
White boy gettin' with a sister, man.
Y'all ought to be ashamed of y'all selves.
We all done said everything about the white kid
dating the hot black women... "it's right, it's wrong, it's good, it's bad..."
We ain't got no problem with a good kid like Isaac datin' a sister.
That ain't even what I'm saying, man.
I'm saying, he can get a sister and y'all can't.
Y'all some pathetic-ass niggers.
Man, I'm married... To a sister.
Well, you know, there's some advantages to being a single man.
Life is full of possibilities.
When you're married, life becomes about reality...
The reality of the lack of sexuality.
- ( All laughing ) - Is there really a drop-off, Calvin?
Not with me and Jen. Shit, our sex is regular.
Regular by the week or by the month?
Uh, regular is regular. We don't break it down.
And if you ever have to testify to that,
make sure you and Jen got your stories straight.
( All laughing )
Anything else?
You're not gonna use this as a lubricant, are you?
'Cause the petroleum actually degrades the latex.
I don't need a chemistry lesson, okay?
Ketchup goes on the top bun, mustard on the bottom.
- Just ring me up, I got some fuckin' to do. - Okay.
- Thanks. - Somebody could use a little religion.
No receipt.
Hey, baby, daddy is home.
Now I know we ain't got freaky in a while,
so I'm gonna need you to bend over, 'cause I'm gonna get all up in...
Uh, you know what? Never mind.
You just stay there looking like the sweet mother of my child,
and I'm gonna go... Get on the Internet or something.
Okay.
Mommy was hoping daddy was gonna make her butt say his name.
♪ Ready? What? You got it. ♪
Calvin: If there's one thing I've learned,
it's that you got to be real careful about the past you make.
'Cause you never know when it's gonna come around and jump up in your future.
- David? - Calvin.
David was a guy who tried to open up a store
unfortunately named "niggaz" on our block.
Although David was cool, I accidentally had his store shut down.
That was something I never got to explain to him,
but knew he'd understand once I did.
You accidentally had a mob of people shut down my store?
What can I say? Shit happens.
- "Shit happens"? - Doesn't it, though?
So, you got a new store opening up. That's good.
With a less inflammatory name... That's real good.
Oh, right on. It's good to have you back on the block.
Yeah, thanks, and to be honest, it's good to be back.
- Woman: You can't buy those shoes... - Is that your wife?
Oh yeah, that's... that's Dana.
- She's not gonna wave. - Oh. She's really mad at me, huh?
- She's blind. - She can't see?
Is there another kind of blind?
Republican blind? Blind to the problems of regular folk?
How would that keep her from waving?
You're a real serious cat, aren't you? Yeah.
You know what'd be good? How about you let me and my wife
take you and your lady out to dinner?
Sort of a welcome back meal?
Yeah? Well, that's decent of you. It really is.
And Calvin, it's nice to be welcomed back to the neighborhood.
- What, bitch? - You callin' me a bitch?
Oh, pretty as you are,
I bet when you were in prison,
you got passed around like a subpoena at the "source awards."
- Hey, Cal. - Lookin' good, man, you lose weight?
Looking good and running late.
I stopped to talk to somebody.
You know they're opening up a new store?
Well, not really new, sort of re-opening...
One that was gonna be niggaz.
Different, less inflammatory name. Same owner.
- Same owner? - Yeah. David's his name.
- David kang. - Yeah yeah, it's the same owner and his boy?
- I don't know about his boy. - What the hell, Cal?
You don't know if the son is working there?
Why say anything at all and get our hopes up
if you don't even know what's going on?
God! Inconsiderate.
- Hey, Cal? - Hm?
Are you losing weight?
She's, like, republican blind?
- No, she's for-real blind. - Oh, that's so sweet.
- Sweet? - Yeah.
It's like the movie, "magnificent obsession."
And David can spend his lie looking for a cure for Dan.
And then when she can see again they'll fall in love and get married.
They're already married.
Well, I hope it's not like the movie "ray."
And David's just shooting up heroin
and catting around with other women.
Unless it's with Regina king.
I wouldn't mind if you threw Regina king a little attention.
She deserves it. What's a sister got to do to get her props in Hollywood?
- Oh, you look good. - Yeah?
- Have you been losing weight? - Maybe a little.
- Are you on a new diet? - Something like that.
Calvin: Actually, it was nothing like that.
Yinka'd been having troubles in the bedroom
with the way he stepped to his ladies.
He made a recording for me to watch so I could help him with his game.
The friction of your pudenda
has got me so hot
for your undulating vagina.
I'm going to increase the motion of my urinary meatus,
against your urethral orifice.
Private foreskin at your cervix.
- But watching the video had certain side effects. - ( Gags )
I just haven't had much of an appetite.
And I'm sure David and Dana will think I just don't wanna eat with 'em.
- You seem tense. - I am tense.
They already don't have a good impression of me.
I just want this dinner to be perfect.
I know how to help you relax.
- Oh yeah? - Mm-hm.
( Laughing )
Mm... ooh!
Now are you more relaxed?
Hell yeah, I'm more relaxed.
You rubbin' on my ass like that reminded me
that I forgot my wallet. If I'd of got to that restaurant
without no cash, I'd have been embarrassed as hell.
Thank you, baby. Mm.
Mm-that perfume you're wearing
also reminds me that I need to gas up before we get there.
My girl, you're like a walking post-it.
Yay!
Calvin: Terri was trying to do something about the past
she almost created with David's kid, Michael...
A past she was hoping to recreate in the right now.
Hey.
I just want to set things straight.
I know people went off on you last time around,
but I didn't have anything to do with that.
And me asking you out on a date is just...
It's not like I really had it for you.
It's just... It was a consolation prize
for your shop getting shut down.
So if we see each other, you don't have to throw me attitude.
I'm cool with you if you're cool with me.
- Okay. - Terri, I'm not mad at you.
Look, the only reason I said no when you asked me out
was because I was seeing someone.
- "Was" as in... Was seeing someone? - Was.
- Like, "has been"? - Was.
So sometime if you want to go out and hang out...
Okay, here are the rules...
Our clothes stay on, your hands stay above the waist,
and there'll be no stories to the boys about sexual activity that didn't happen.
Okay. Terri Jones' shit is pure.
I haven't had much of an appetite.
So, Jen, what do you do?
Oh, I'm just doing my mom thing right now.
Oh, she's not just a mom.
I come home at night, she's cooked, she's cleaned.
She's a mom, a maid, an appliance repair person,
gardener, sock-maker, sommelier, cobbler...
I don't know how she got the heel back on my boot, but that's love.
Yes, I'm a well-rounded and fully formed home-maker.
- That's not all you are. You're also a hot... - Dana: Saint...
Is what she sounds like. A blessing. Gift from god.
Why don't you just throw in "sweet mother of my child" so I really feel inadequate.
I can get the fucking sugar myself.
Yeah, you can fucking get it, I can get it fucking quicker.
Oh, thank fucking you for reminding me I'm blind.
I'm a useless blind woman, in case I fucking forgot.
- Make me feel like a useless fucking cripp. - There's the sugar right there.
Why don't you just do a "million dollar baby" on me?
Kill me and then go eat fucking pie in a fucking diner down in the south.
I have a funny pie story I've been dying to tell.
When I say die, I don't mean in a euthanasia sense.
Never gonna let me live it down, are you?
One time... one time I confused the super glue with an eye dropper.
She's never gonna let me live it the fuck down.
You fucking blinded me!
What, you couldn't feel it was glue?
You should have said something after I did the first eye.
You could still see half the world, bitch.
You blinded her, and you're getting on me
about accidentally shutting down your shop?
Yeah? Can you fucking believe this guy?
And by the way, I wanted to eat at a Mexican restaurant.
You think I can't smell the mu shu-fucking-pork?
- Wow. - Did you see them?
They were all over each other.
Wow.
I mean, they didn't care who was watching.
It's like they had no self-control.
No self-control. None.
I never would have believed two people could go off like that
if I hadn't seen it. I'm glad we're not like that.
Yeah.
Oh god. God damn it, is this dress on sale?
Can you put this on the side for me, please?
Not now. I mean, you know, later when you're done...
Kissing and stuff.
Calvin: For the first time ever,
Terri Jones had flipped for a guy.
And for a girl who had never been sprung before,
it was too much to handle.
Good morning, world!
Are you ready for a beautiful day?
♪ I'm about to lose control ♪
♪ and I think I like it... ♪
( Barking )
Good morning, you sweet, beautiful pit bull.
You want a piece of mommy's throat, huh? Mwah!
♪ And I know, I know, I know, I know... ♪
Good morning, Chicago's finest,
who like to fuck with me for no good reason.
Are you ready to be the best you can be? Hm? Okay.
Calvin: Yeah. But it wasn't all good all the way around.
See, the night when Terri was getting it on with Michael...
Now Jimmy's not real secretly sprung for Terri
and didn't care for Terri hitting it with Michael.
This was causing Jimmy stress.
And of course, when people got stressed,
they brought their stress right to me.
So some new kid just shows up on the block and Terri falls for him.
All that time I was working in the shop, she couldn't just fall for me?
Did you ever tell Terri that you liked her?
You never just tell somebody you like them.
No, see, that opens you up to ridicule and rejection.
If you like somebody, you just stare at 'em...
Until they feel your love.
Like an insect creeping across their flesh.
The love stares I used to give Terri
would send shivers of excitement through her...
( Shivering )
Love.
It was... it was love.
Love till this punk came along!
Okay, love may be on your side of the street,
but Terri's not really the type of girl
that's had a lot of experience with deep emotions.
Just give her some time, maybe she'll get over Michael.
See, I don't think I could take that chance.
I think I need to go "desperate housewives"
and destroy that relationship in melodramatic fashion.
What good would that do?
Well, it'll make it obvious to Terri that I like her.
I wouldn't spend all this time trying to mess up her life
- if I didn't care about her. - You trying to mess up Michael and Terri
is what got him and his pop run off the block before.
Maybe this time around, you could try some openness and honesty.
Openness. Honesty.
Yeah. That's the dumbest shit I ever heard.
If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go practice my shenanigans.
You... I'm about to... It's... you don't even know
what's about to... you know how many levels and layers?
I'm a politician on that, all...!
Calvin: Jimmy wasn't kidding about being crafty.
He knew Isaac also not real secretly had a thing for Terri.
And like the politician he is,
he used his skills of subterfuge
to let Isaac know Terri was seeing another guy.
You know Terri's seeing some other guy?
And while Jimmy decided to skip the open and honest thing,
Terri and her fresh emotions decided it was time to be real open
and real honest with Michael.
- I think maybe I'm in love with you. - I can't see you anymore.
You motherfucker.
You couldn't tell me that before I told you I love you?
I mean, thank god I said "think" and "maybe."
- You're self-absorbed, Terri. - Terri Jones is self-absorbed?
Terri Jones isn't self-absorbed.
Terri Jones is a damn near philanthropist.
In the middle of making out, you asked me to put aside a shirt for you?
For these prices, I would be crazy not to say something.
You're gonna break up with me over that?
I just can't be with a girl who goes bargain shopping while I'm licking her ear.
You're sexually immature.
How's this for sexually immature?
Fuck you, you ear-licking motherfucker.
Calvin: Meanwhile, me and Jen were having another night out
with David and Dana,
hoping we'd have a better time.
I'm a fucking blind American, so deal with it!
- We didn't. - That's good, let's make everybody else feel guilty
because they can fucking see.
Why don't I take a knife and jab my fucking eyes out?
Why don't you take a fucking knife and fucking kill me?
- Hey guys, why don't...? - I'd do it, and nobody'd care.
It'd be me, o.J., and Robert Blake out looking for your killer.
- Ha-ha. - Why don't you two shut the fuck up?
What the fuck is the matter with you?
Jesus, Calvin, calm down, we're in public.
- Gonna get us accidentally thrown off the block again. - Yeah.
Are people staring at me? 'Cause I do not need people staring at me again.
No, do not put this on me, okay? Are you two oblivious?
We only went out with you guys because I felt bad
about what happened to you and your store, okay?
We're not sitting through another night of you guys fighting.
( Both laughing )
What... what's so funny?
- 'Cause I missed the funny. - We're not fighting!
I mean, we're fighting in the sense that our voices are raised
and we're yelling at each other, but this is the way our passion expresses itself.
I mean, see? This is the face of passion.
Would you get your fucking finger out of my fucking eye?
Yes! See, couples who fight regularly
actually have better relationships and...
Ooh... I mean, you guys... you guys have passion, don't you?
Yeah yeah. Just the other day, I was like telling Jen
"fuck this, fuck that."
And I reciprocated with the "f" word...
All f'ing night.
If that's not passion, I don't know what is.
( Laughing, screaming )
Did you see them?
They were all over each other.
Wow.
I mean, it's like, they didn't even care we were watching.
They couldn't even control themselves.
No self-control. None.
I mean, I never would have believe two people
could go off like that if I hadn't seen it.
I'm glad we're not like that.
That's... that's where you say "yeah."
( Toilet flushes )
Hey, Cal, come here.
There's something wrong with romadal.
I keep trying to look through his stuff,
and he keeps getting all agitated.
Maybe he keeps getting agitated
'cause you keep trying to look through his stuff.
He's a man, Calvin. Men are always perpetrating.
If they're not pulling something illegal,
then they're trying to play you into telling them that you love them,
so that they can make you look like a fool.
As much as I love wading neck-deep in a river through your personal bullshit,
I do not have time for your relationship issues right now.
I got some of my own, okay?
Hey, what are you all being secretive about over there?
- Nothing. - Calvin is having some sex issues with his wife.
I'm not having no sex issues with my wife. What is wrong with you?
I guess he didn't say "wife." It could be, I don't know, what?
One of your hoochies or something?
- Hoochies? - You're cheating on Jen?
I have difficulties with one relationship
and you have women on the side?
Hey, dawg, Jen is my pop's sister's
brother's brother's sister, all right?
Better not be cheating on my motherfuckin' family.
I'm not cheating on your family, and she's not your family,
she's my wife, okay? Now look, I'm not doing anything.
I just... me and her went out
with another couple, and they were just so hot and passionate
and into each other, it made me think that, you know,
maybe me and Jen aren't as hot for each other as we should be.
But it's hard. She's my baby's mama. She's like an angel.
- It's hard to drill an angel. - Yeah, but you have no problem talking about it.
Well, see, that there is what you call the "Madonna is a ho complex."
You know, you watch all these filthy, so-called music videos,
all the girls shaking their trunks all over the place.
Then you expect that from your wife.
You see, no, those videos are like pornography. They are filthy.
I mean, every time I sit through four, five, six of 'em,
- I feel dirty. - Eddie, you have problems.
You need some religion in your life, seriously.
I need to know who your cable company is.
Okay, you know what? Eddie, you need to seriously back off.
Until being old, lonely and broke becomes attractive,
you will be dating your dick.
- ( All groaning ) - It's the truth.
Hey, I'm fine with Mr. Midnight.
But what if being young, bitter and broke?
- Seems like it ain't done anything for you. - Watch me not answer you.
Look, Eddie, if the subject's hos, Terri knows what she's talking about.
- Excuse me. - Yinka: Wait wait wait wait.
I think we're getting a little off-track here, huh?
Can we just please concentrate
on Calvin's sexual problem?
Whoa, you can go ahead and get off-track.
That's fine. Switch the track altogether. Shit.
Calvin, you got problems with your lady?
Let me tell you what you got to do.
- You see now, the thing is... - See what you started?
The honeys don't normally like to go down low.
Right? Now, the unsophisticated brother
will blame it on the bitch.
Hell no, it is not her fault.
It is the man who don't keep his shit tight all around his man-meat.
I mean, think about it. Some of y'all come here, what?
Two, three times a week to get cleaned up up top?
You think your hos want anything less anywhere else?
We are out of Africa.
Why send your woman back to the jungle?
- So you're saying...? - What the hell are you saying?
- Shave your shit! - All: No!
- No no... - Yes!
Calvin: At some point, Isaac started to realize
what was bumping him about Terri going out with Michael
wasn't that Terri was going out with Michael.
It's that Terri wasn't going out with him.
But like a guy, instead of taking it up with Terri,
he was gonna take it up with Mike.
Who runs this motherfuck...
- Me. - Can I help you?
Wow, i... I like what you got.
Oh yeah, I just wish my dad and brother would keep the place straight.
Oh, I'm sorry, I ought to cover up.
No! I mean...
I mean, it's your joint, you know? Live how you live.
What's that? My name? Oh, it's Isaac.
Michelle.
Oh, would you like a bite of my taco?
I really can't answer that right now. Honestly.
I work at the barbershop across the street, you know? We do all kinds of hair.
Straight or curly or...
Really though, that really is a nice taco.
It's all spicy-looking and shit and...
You know, the lettuce is well-cut.
It's hard, you know?
I mean, you think you've got it going on.
That you're in control of your sexuality.
And then you find out. This guy is telling people
I don't have any sexuality at all.
And I wouldn't be telling you this except you're my friend.
Well, we're not friends-friends.
I mean, I just came out 'cause you called about getting some exercise.
Had I known the wall between us would be smacked down
with a sledgehammer of personal information...
I mean, I can't help it if I'm sexually immature.
I'm not gonna be like those other girls
who waste themselves on every thug that comes along.
I have been saving myself.
Did Terri Jones tell you Terri Jones' shit is pure?
You know my story. Grew up in foster care, never knew my family.
You know, I never learned how to be personal with somebody,
so I'm kind of fucked up.
It's not f-ed up.
You know, being intimate with someone you care about is always difficult.
Because you do care about them.
So everything takes on meaning. Everything.
You know, when you have sex, when you don't...
You and Cal having problems?
It's hard, you know?
You have a baby and you just...
Well, you don't feel sexy anymore.
You feel like just a mommy.
Hm.
Meanwhile, Cal has a life outside the house.
He's looking good, in shape, losing weight.
He is losing weight, isn't he?
But he plays it off like he's not working out.
Like there's some magic diet video you can watch
that makes you lose weight without doing anything.
And how you think that makes me feel?
Not young, hot and sexy. That's for sure.
You know, my vagina's just as potent
as the day he first inserted himself into me.
Okay, you know, I get what you were saying
about the personal wall thing.
Maybe you ought to work on, you know, building the wall back up.
No no! I will not be silenced.
You know, that's my problem, is I don't let my passion flow.
But I already feel better, you know, getting this out.
Maybe I should tell my sex problems to complete strangers more often.
- Yeah, I don't... - That's right.
I'm a sex-handicapped American!
Okay, Jen, damn. Okay.
I mean, I think your problem is more with privacy than sexuality.
Well, I have to do something.
You know, it's not like the answers to your problems
come out of nowhere like a sign from god.
Excuse me?
I heard what you two have been saying.
Uh, you heard what she was saying. I wasn't...
You have problems, you know that?
You need church.
Ladies, when you take your vows before the good lord,
you swear to love, honor and obey your man.
Well, you can't love him
if you can't... Make love to him.
You can't honor his requests to get...
Freaky if you don't have the tools.
- Woman: Okay! - Sex toys in a church?
I mean, it's just hard to buy one of these
with Jesus looking over your shoulder.
Promoting sexuality between married people is a beautiful thing.
And what if you're single but want to improve your skills?
Then you're a whore and you'll burn in the fiery lakes of hell.
- No middle ground? - You might want to read this.
This is a sex guide?
It's a guide to salvation through out lord and savior.
The sex gets you in the door, but we still got to sell you some Jesus.
- Figures. - Is this is your extra- fucking-large?
Who's gonna marry the man on the other end of this?
- Dana? - Jen?
- Yeah. - Oh!
- Excuse me. - I'm sorry, she's blind.
- You're here? - Well, thought i'd give it a try.
I usually go to the women's night at temple Beth El.
I'm not trying to compare christians and Jews,
but Jews do dildos right.
Goddamn myth-busters, those people.
If my husband wrapped me in a sheet and spun me around like a dreidel,
I'd wear a wig 24-7 too.
Is there trouble in your bedroom?
Look, you're with a man for a few years,
you can't expect him to go home every night
and treat you like a drunk 17-year-old in a "girls gone wild" video.
You got to be the aggressor sometimes, you know?
You gotta make him want you.
This stuff helps?
Well, I don't know what it's like in your house,
but David and I, we have sex nine times a week.
- ( Gasps ) - And I'm talking about a five-day week.
- Not a seven-day week. - Then with god as my witness,
I will never enter our bed without a sex toy again.
Calvin: Jen had gone through a sexual revolution.
And the next day, Terri experienced a sexual revelation.
Punk!
You just have to mess with me, don't you?
You're trying to prove what? What?
That you're better than me? Okay, you're better.
Okay, you're better, you're smoother, you know how to work your shit more.
What are you talking about?
Rubbing my face in it. Getting with Michelle
when you know what happened with me and Michael?
Don't say it 'cause I don't even know...
You know Michael dropped me?
I didn't know that Michael dropped you.
You couldn't just jump in before I told you?
Damn. Does everyone want me to look stupid?
Terri, I ended up with Michelle because of you, yes.
But I wasn't trying to punk you.
- I went over there because Jimmy said that... - Jimmy told you that?
- Yeah, but I thought that... - Jimmy is getting in...
No, but listen, I'm trying to tell you that...
I'm trying... Damn!
I'm trying to tell you that I got it for you.
- ( Dialing ) - Son of a... ( Laughing )
Yeah, all right. Bye.
Did you tell Isaac I was seeing Michael?
- ( Laughing ) - Are you instigating?
Your anger is legendary.
But I'm not some little kid cutting hair in a barbershop anymore.
I'm a politician now.
And I deal with bad attitudes every day.
So do your worst.
You are a do-right guy, Jimmy.
Real decent.
That's why you and me are never gonna hook up.
A guy like you deserves better than to get caught up in all my shit.
So for your own sake,
you and me is never gonna happen.
- What? - Never.
- ( Door closes ) - ( Sighs )
That was definitely her worst.
Calvin: While Jimmy was getting laid into by Terri Jones,
Eddie was well into getting liquored up by Jack Daniel's.
No more money for booze.
Terri was right.
Old, broke and lonely... That's what I am.
I'm a stereotype of a post-civil rights urban black man.
Like al sharpton, but...
With self-respect.
Let me get that for you.
No, don't take these. I'm gonna suck the liquor from the lemons.
Thank you.
There goes the last of my self-respect.
( Sobbing )
Oh, you poor man.
Oh, you're in no condition to drive.
( Laughs )
Why don't I go and get my car
and I'll drive you home myself?
Oh.
( Laughs )
I get to go home with a strange woman
'cause I didn't have cab fare.
Who's broke, old and lonely now?
Calvin: That day, while I was doing my thing at work,
Jen was doing some things at home.
She put little mister to bed early.
She got the place ready. She got sexy.
There was only one thing she forgot...
To put away the church literature.
Great, she's going to church now.
I'll never get head again.
- Jen? - I'm right here.
- Jen? - I'm right here, baby.
Huah, Mrs. Jen!
Wait, baby, I can't do this.
Yes you can. I got some stay-hard, Spanish fly,
and this stuff. I'm not sure what it does,
'cause all the instructions were in Russian,
but according to the picture on the box, Rasputin's getting it on.
Baby, what is the matter with you?
( Sighs ) You know what?
That's what I want to know.
What is so the matter with me? As much as I've been coming onto you,
you can't touch me anymore?
"Coming onto me"? Baby, no, look...
I've just been so caught up with everybody else's problems.
You know, David moving back on the block...
I must have missed the signals.
( Laughs ) Well, why are you waiting for signals?
Would it be too much of an effort for you
to get a little rough and dirty with me,
like you did when we first got together?
It's hard to get rough and dirty with you
'cause the first time I met you,
all you were to me was a tight front and plump back
that I was trying to loosen up anyway that I can,
and I'm just gonna keep going real fast past what I just said
so I can get to the point that I'm really trying to make.
Jen, you're... You're like an angel to me.
You've given me the most amazing gift that a woman can give to a man...
A child.
That's it? You don't want to have sex with me because you think I'm an angel?
You're my baby's mom. And you're, you know, going to church now...
I just went to church to get the sex toys.
Yeah, and I go to Vegas for the gay magicians.
I'm serious.
They had a ladies' night and I just wanted to do something
to be more attractive to you.
I mean, you look good. You've been working out.
Wait, you thought I was trying to get in shape?
Let me show you something.
Yinka: Private foreskin at your cervix.
Oh. I think I lost my appetite.
Yeah, it's like some magic diet video
you can watch and it makes you lose weight without doing anything.
Did you help yinka at all?
Yeah yeah, I gave him some of my dirty talk lines.
"You know you want this dick. Make that ass say my name."
Oh, good ones.
Yeah, I like "whose pussy is it?"
( Laughs ) I don't think I ever heard you use the...
"P" word before.
Pussy?
Yeah.
Funny, when you say that,
you don't seem so lady-ish.
Baby-mama-ish.
Angel-ish.
Pussy.
Yeah, that's the word.
Pussy!
Make that ass say my name.
- ( Baby crying ) - Oh.
Maybe you should go check on the baby or somethin'?
Yeah, maybe you should just go get on the Internet or something...
Internet, yeah.
( Theme music playing )
Man: ♪ I mean, come on ♪
♪ give me a break ♪
♪ I mean, come on ♪
♪ give me a break ♪
♪ give me a break. ♪
Dana: You fucking blinded me!