Come, my brave children, to the hideous Halloween maze.
Avoid the creepies and crawlies that live in every dark corner of the maze
and the first one to reach the centre and emerge alive will win the grand prize. Aha!
Oh, here we go!
# Brain fried tonight through misuse
# Through misuse, through misuse
# You can't avoid static abuse
- # You can't avoid - # Abuse...
Where am I?
Argh!
Help! I'm lost!
Somebody help me!
# No excuse
# What's that coming over the hill?
Argh!
# Is it a monster?
Right this way, guys.
That is an excellent costume. What are you wearing?
- Now? - No. To the Jeffersonian Halloween Ball.
- What I always wear. Are you going? - I'm the official unofficial FBI liaison.
- Of course I'm going. - We passed the Wolf Man.
- Head towards the guillotine, veer left. - It's a maze. What can I do?
Dr Potoska, how were the remains discovered?
- Kid passed out. - What killed him?
- The kid didn't die. He fainted. - Then why am I here?
When Matty fainted I was here with my kids. I'm a paediatrician, but I'm also the coroner.
- Oh, small town. - Yeah. Well, Matty revived easily enough.
He's what you call a nervous type kid.
But then I saw what made him faint and I almost fainted too because it was a mummy.
The sheriff called the FBI, who called the Jeffersonian,
and now here we are lost in this stupid maze looking for the mummy.
- A mummy? - Yeah. I do not see a guillotine.
- What would you call that? - Oh, um...
- A cowboy? - No. It's a scarecrow.
Keep turning to the right. Let me know when you reach the dragon.
- Uh, dead end. With teeth. - That's because you turned left at the goblin.
- You were supposed to turn right. - When you say a "mummy", you mean...
Wrapped in bandages. You know - mummy.
No offence, but I'm not certain a paediatrician is qualified...
Paediatrician and coroner. See that? Yeah.
- OK, we are at the electric chair. - There's an electric chair?
Look, just tell the guy to throw the flashlight up in the air, will you?
Uh, the FBI requests that you toss your flashlight into the air.
Ten-four.
- Ah! There it is. - Let's see if we can get there this way.
Guys.
After you.
Oh!
What do you think, Bones?
Well... ocular contents dry,
orbits collapsed, leathery skin.
- These are actual human remains. - A mummy.
- How long will it take to get out? - Not as long as you might think.
It takes a steady flow of dry air over a long period of time
to achieve desiccated mummification.
The Incan ice woman of Peru, the Tarim Basin mummies of China,
the peat bog Tollund man in Denmark.
- How old are we talking? - Buttons, zipper, rivets... She's wearing jeans.
Freakazoid murder mummification rather than fascinating history.
- She? - The innominate bone indicates female.
Now listen, boys. Jeffersonian Halloween party - it's compulsory.
Donors, patrons, benefactors, so we show up in costume and do our duty.
- I don't want any argument on this. - I will be the back end of a cow.
So, no costume?
Naomi from Palaeontology has agreed to be my front.
Oh, so many jokes, so little time.
It's fine. We're all in. I'll be Edward John Smith for Halloween.
- Ill-fated captain of the Titanic. - What about Angela and Dr Brennan?
Dr Brennan always wears the same costume to these things.
Help me remove these.
- Urgh! What's with the smell? - Cedar oil?
- Also used in mummification. - What about this coating on the skin?
- Lacquer. - She was painted to death?
Clothing came from a church-run thrift store.
- How could you know that? - There is no bug specific to thrift stores.
You don't know that. I'm the bug guy.
You're just the bone guy who dresses up like the back end of a cow.
Hodgins.
"Free Church of America Thrift Store", huh? Tell Booth.
- I knew it wasn't bugs. - No, you didn't.
And that's what makes me king of the lab.
A loyal servant of the empress.
Clothes from this ministry were found on a body?
- Well, I'm afraid that happens fairly often. - Why?
We're a charitable congregation. Homeless people know we'll give them what they need.
Do you by any chance remember these specific pieces of clothing?
- This is from your murder victim? - Pastor Jonas, do you have this in red?
- Something that screams Satan? - Basically.
I think we have a pink cape in the back. Maybe we could dye it.
What kind of church dresses kids like Satanists?
Let me show you. At Halloween we do a "hell house".
Fornication, theft, murder, gambling,
- usury, sodomy, abortion. - That's kind of horrific, isn't it?
Abandoning the path of righteousness is horrific, Doctor.
This is our way of remaking a pagan holiday - Halloween -
into a positive celebration of Christian values.
- Excellent prostitute. - Thank you.
- Anyone dress like a mummy? - We've never featured a false-idol room.
Though it's not a bad idea.
Ancient Egyptian religious beliefs endured for 4,000 years. Twice the length of Christianity.
- Any of your kids disappear? - No.
What if the children you save from abortion grow up to be users and sodomites?
- I don't respond to mocking semantics. - Nor do I. But she's serious.
In that case, my serious answer would be that in being given a chance to live a life,
the aborted soul will have a multitude of opportunities to repent for their sins
and live bathed in the Holy Spirit.
- Thank you. - Thank you?
You're welcome.
I'm Amber Kippler, an investigator with Doyley Private Investigations.
Mr Doyley assured me he'd be taking a personal interest
in the search for Miss Montenegro's husband.
Interest, yes, but I'll be doing the actual footwork.
Mr Doyley is taking a very personal interest, only not from up close.
Do you have a lot of experience of this kind of work?
Angela Montenegro is not your birth name.
You changed your name on your 18th birthday because it came to you in a dream.
Uh...
- You never told me that. - I never told anybody that.
If I can discover that about a client I'm not investigating, imagine what I can do for real.
- Good point. - I never told anybody about that.
You did, actually. A girl named Roxy whose heart you broke in second year art school.
Oh.
Roxy.
Wow! What do you know about me?
Wouldn't it be better if we got to Miss Montenegro's husband, "Berimbau" Barasa?
- You found something? - I found the actual human man.
In Florida, in the Keys. No Name Key, very remote.
- Did you talk to him? - No.
- Why? - My instructions were to locate.
- We can now discuss contact. - We want you to contact him.
- And get him to sign the divorce papers. - By "get him", do you mean...
- force him to sign them? - If necessary. Do you have a gun?
Or just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
What are you? Canadian?
We'll do this one step at a time.
Didn't that pastor make you mad? He's a fundamentalist.
- I appreciate consistency. - Trying to scare kids into Christianity?
How do we keep kids from smoking? We tell them it gives them cancer.
- It does. - According to science.
That's all you care about, is science.
In the end, even someone who believes in science has to take a leap of faith.
- What? - I believe in what I can see and measure.
You believe in what you feel. Jonas believes God speaks to him through a sacred book.
We're on the wrong side of the argument.
- Oh, it's Cam. What's up? - I really need you to come back.
- What's going on? - A couple think the mummy is their daughter.
- That'll save us some time. - Their daughter disappeared last week.
The remains we found are at least a year old.
I'm great with corpses, but loved ones? There's a reason why I'm not a paediatrician.
- So if you've got a siren, turn it on. - Right.
- Megan didn't run away. - Something bad happened.
- She's a very pretty girl. - What makes you think the remains are hers?
The news said that you found the body of a teenage girl in a fun house.
- I suddenly knew it was Megan. - "Suddenly knew"?
Mr and Mrs Shaw, it wasn't a fun house, it was a maze.
- And the remains are over a year old. - You're certain?
- Yes. - Oh, I see.
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
I don't understand why you're disappointed. She might still be alive.
- Megan is not still alive. - How are you so certain?
I just am. I can't explain it. I'm her mother.
I'm sorry. Does this face mean anything to you?
- No. - Is she something to do with Megan?
This is the girl that we found in the maze.
Definitely not Megan.
- Yes? - Dr Brennan.
Another mummy has been found at Shoreline Amusement Park.
The fact Megan disappeared here and there's a mummy here is a coincidence.
Fact - there are no coincidences in a murder investigation.
You do know the definition of a fact? It's not the same as a funny feeling.
Somebody says they saw a mummy. It doesn't mean they did.
- I know what I saw. - Keep the mask on, please.
- What's wrong? - Anxiety attack.
Brought on by this dungeon here. I spend half my time on these calls.
You know it's not real, right? You're overreacting to excessive stimuli.
- Keep the mask in place, ma'am. - Plus you should lose some weight.
- Uh, ma'am. - Bones, a little compassion.
I'm not overreacting. There's a dead body in there.
Um, a thousand of them to be exact.
There's a real one. I'm a nurse. I know a dead body when I see one.
- Did you see anything? - Not much time for that.
- Just went in, got her, got her out. - Great. What did you see?
A corpse, past the killer clown.
Clown?
- You OK? - Yeah. Sure.
- Come on. - It's just a clown.
- What's wrong? - Um...
The... the phone rang. It's Cam. Phone's ringing.
Coulrophobia.
The fear of clowns. Coulrophobia. It might explain why you shot that clown last year.
Look, I have no problems with clowns. I can stand right here. See? The phone. Booth.
We got an ID on our maze victim off Angela's sketch.
- Great. Details to follow. - You'll want to hear this now.
Name - Stella Higgins. 15 years old. Disappeared a year ago today.
- What's she saying? - ID and date of disappearance.
Booth, Stella was last seen at Shoreline Amusement Park.
- Wow. - What wow?
More coincidences. Uh, thanks.
The maze victim disappeared from here. So, we just go right past the clown.
I can walk right past the clown like she said.
Torture dungeon.
Yeah, OK. The clown's scary, not you.
Oh, jeez. You're kidding me, right?
Oh, look at the eye, huh? It's a Ping-Pong ball.
Not this one.
- How do you know? - Human remains, Booth.
It's sort of my specialty.
This is a dead person.
The first thing Booth needs to know is if this is Megan Shaw.
- It is not Megan Shaw. - I agree.
It would be impossible to mummify a body in little more than a week.
- Dental records do not match. - Lacquer, oil. Looks like the same murderer.
- That's leaping to a conclusion. - I said "looks like". That's not leaping.
Her phalanges, fingers, are damaged. Metacarpals are... cracked.
You've seen something like this before?
In Iraq there were some remains. They'd been buried alive.
- She was buried alive? - I'm not comfortable...
It looks like this person was buried alive.
The tattoo on the second victim's shoulder matches that of Judith Suzanne Evans.
16 when she went missing.
- How long ago? - Two years almost to the day.
- From? - Shoreline Amusement Park.
She was there with her sister and some friends.
Skin and hair from beneath Stella's fingernails turns out to be her own.
Also, the lacquer used on both the victims is generic. It's widely available.
- She pulled out her own hair? - What makes somebody do that?
There are small puncture marks, hundreds, all over her body. Like insect bites, but larger.
In both cases, the lacquer was infused with particulates, including a spore I'm identifying.
Will you admit that it looks like they were killed and mummified by the same person?
- I'm not prepared to... - Jump to that conclusion.
You expect me to know when one body appeared in a pile of bodies?
A genuine corpse appears and you don't notice?
It's called "Dungeon of 1,000 Corpses".
Which is exactly why an FBI forensics team is sweeping this facility.
"Facility"? This hole counts as a facility?
- I know you. - No.
- Yeah. You were at the maze. Same costume. - Oh, yeah.
- You're recalling that? What's your name? - Greg.
Little hint. FBI asks for your name, you give the whole name.
Greg Liscombe. He's worked here three years.
Don't wear the costume to other gigs, dude. Dilutes the effect.
- All the other bodies are fakes. - Keep the fun house as a crime scene.
Yes, sir.
- Can I send my people home? - No. They gotta talk to my people.
- And you're coming with me. - Why?
Two places with dead bodies, and you're in the doorway dressed as the Grim Reaper.
- It's my job. It's not like I adopt the persona. - Don't say anything without a lawyer.
Greg's got the keys to the place.
Shut up, Dan. He's got keys too. And so does cleaning crew and park security.
- Wow. How about you? - I've got nothing else to say without a lawyer.
Great, Pin Cushion. You were practically invisible until now.
Now you're bucking as number-one suspect.
Judith Evans, aged 16.
Our victim from the Dungeon of 1,000 Corpses.
I've identified stress fractures to both tibias
as well as tears to the medial collateral and anterior cruciate ligaments in both knees.
- Catcher's knee. - Nothing in the bio about playing baseball.
Compressions to vertebrae C1 through C7 indicate that her neck was bent like this...
- But forced. - I am not liking the picture that's forming.
Phalanges cracked and her fingernails shredded, her head forced that way,
her knees jammed up against her chest.
Do I think Judith Evans was buried alive?
I, uh... I have another bad image of how Stella Higgins died.
- Spiders. - Spiders?
- Tarantulas, to be specific. - Poisonous?
A common misconception, though the lack of poison doesn't make the bite less painful.
This is an urticating hair from the Theraphosinae family.
- It appears to be barbed. - It's very irritating.
Tarantula hair was the main ingredient in itching powder for decades.
Is there any correlation between these hairs and Stella Higgins scratching herself?
She was bitten all over. There had to be dozens of tarantulas. There's a correlation.
I assumed that the mysterious spore was transported by the tarantula, but I was wrong.
- How do you know? - There's no tarantula hairs on Judith,
but plenty of the spores and particulates.
She has carcinogenic dibenzopyrene isomers,
asbestos, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons,
manganese and barium... and steel dust.
- Which adds up to... - Internal combustion engines.
Traffic. Except for the steel dust. I have no clue about the steel dust.
Well, Stella's tox results show chloroform, ephedrine,
theophylline, clonidine and methamphetamine.
Judith's remains show the same compounds, but in different concentrations.
- Ephedrine is synthetic adrenaline. - Most of those are stimulants.
Their metabolisms would race, heart rates would accelerate dangerously.
Spiders, live burial, drug-induced panic.
Is our murderer literally scaring girls to death?
I always felt somehow that Judy was still alive, even after two years.
It's crazy, huh? Probably guilt, right? For letting my little sister out of my sight.
Look, you can't blame yourself.
Did my sister suffer?
We got the best people in the world figuring out exactly what happened that night.
So, you and your sister went to the amusement park together?
It's kind of the thing to do on Halloween. My mom made me take her. I didn't want to.
- I mean, I loved Judy... - But she was your kid sister. Pain in the ass?
She made me take Judy, even though I didn't want to. And Mom never got over that.
- How did you and Judy get separated? - Judy didn't want to go in the fun house.
- Why? - There was this monster above the door.
Judy freaked. She said, "Go ahead." She'd wait outside.
- Judy was claustrophobic. - How bad?
Pretty bad. She wigged out when we were driving down.
There were six of us in a car. We had to stop and let her out a couple of times.
Do you remember if there was a Grim Reaper that night at the entrance?
- Yeah, there was. - Would that be him?
Yeah. When we came out looking for Judy, he told us she'd taken off with some guy.
Yeah, the police could never confirm that.
Sex offender who was present at two places where the remains of young girls were found.
- Coincidence. - Statistically improbable.
Scientifically improbable. But in the real world, impossible.
Do you recognise these two girls?
Man, every girl that comes in there talks to me. I don't remember them.
- Why does every girl talk to you? - I'm cute, scary.
You do well with the teenage girls, don't you, Gregory? You get 'em all tingly.
That sex-offender thing? It's a joke, man. Look it up.
I got drunk and took a leak in a fountain.
There were schoolgirls on the other side of that fountain.
Four times you've been caught with your pants down around girls. Coincidence?
Two years ago you told this girl's sister that she took off with some guy.
- Do you remember her? - Yeah, sure. It's the girl who disappeared.
You guys are all the same. You sniff each other out. Who was the guy?
Judith Evans disappeared October 24 two years ago.
Stella Higgins, one year ago, a week before Halloween.
- So? - Megan Shaw vanished from the same place.
You can see the common element, can't you, Greg? You.
- Coincidence. - Not in a murder investigation.
Well, it's got nothing to do with me.
Ow! Jeez, you can't... Did you see that?
Hey, Megan Shaw was 14 years old, you understand me?
Who was the guy?
Oh, jeez!
- Good shot, Bones. - Thanks.
- There was no guy. It was Lola. - Lola? The girl with the piercings?
- Yeah. - What were you doing with her?
It's not what you think.
The girls come with me. Maybe we get it on a little. Lola likes that.
She likes to see you with the little girls?
She likes to interrupt. You know, smack 'em around a little.
- "Smack around"? - Yeah. It gets Lola hot for us, for later.
Look, sometimes maybe she goes a little too far.
How did you get to and from a remote, nameless Florida Key so fast?
It does have a name. Its name is No Name Key. Your confusion is natural.
Did you talk to my husband?
Mr Barasa was very pleasant. Very pleasant. I mean, wow!
He smells exactly like a fresh wind just after a summer storm.
- You smelled him? - Part of the private investigator credo.
Ensure that the client - that's you...
- And him. - I'm paying.
The credo says make sure the client is committed to their objective.
- Ergo, a fresh-wind reminder. - Despite the storm, I want a divorce.
In that case, the news is disappointing. Mr Barasa was nice, but adamant.
No divorce.
He doesn't remember getting married?
Mr Barasa totally remembers everything.
He built this for you - a house.
- A shack! - A whimsical cottage.
It's darling. He built a house? For me?
OK, let's be honest. It's a shanty.
Here's what Mr Barasa said, 100% verbatim, word for word.
- Verbatim means word for word. - What?
- You said it twice. - Hodgins.
I quote, literally to the letter:
"Ever has it been that love does not know its own depth until the pain of separation."
- Wow. The guy writes poetry. - Please.
He was talking about you, Miss Montenegro, with tears in his eyes.
He should get a grip.
- What would you like me to do next? - What are we gonna do here, Ange?
This guy built you a house, he cried a little bit.
He smelt like a wind after a summer storm
and you can practically see the lights of Havana from the porch of that cottage.
I want a divorce.
If I'm gonna shack up with anybody, it's this guy.
We're going to discuss this between ourselves, Miss Kippler.
We'll let you know how we want to proceed.
OK.
Did I mention he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen?
Don't blame me. PI code. Keep it real.
- That girl Lola gets off on inflicting pain. - Are we gonna hit her too?
- No, not with a closed fist. - Why?
- That leaves a mark. - Agent Booth.
I spoke with the Shaws, asked if their daughter had phobias.
- Yeah? - Snakes.
One crawled out of the drain of her bathtub, so since then...
That's good. Call the pet shops, reptile specialists, World of Snakes,
and see who's been buying them all up.
- Does Lola strike you as a snake person? - I'll deal with Lola. You go back to the lab.
Why? I won't hit her unless you say so.
Look, I'll do my street thing, you do your lab thing, all right?
Together, we catch bad guys. That's good math.
The lacquer holds tarantula hairs, mystery spores
and particulates which suggest traffic.
I'm aware of the parameters. I told you all that stuff.
- I'm thinking aloud. - Are you concentrating on the spores?
- Yes. I'm looking now. - He's aware of the parameters.
And the unexplained source of steel dust?
What I'd like is to look up from this microscope in about, hm, 10 seconds
and find myself totally alone and able to concentrate.
Oh, not nearly far enough. Not even close.
- Is that your costume? - Uh, yeah.
- It's sexually alluring. - Thank you.
I'm Catwoman. The superhero.
Oh.
- The most powerful female superhero. - I don't think so.
- Are you kidding? - Can you fly?
- I have nine lives. - Super strength, super speed?
- I think I'm pretty fast. - Pretty fast is not super speed.
- Hawaii. - Hawaii?
The spore's atronecium from the haleahi nebulae.
- A Hawaiian orchid hybrid. - They were mummified in Hawaii?
How else would Hawaiian pollen get absorbed into the wet lacquer?
Lola.
Remember me?
Not one word passes these lips without a lawyer's OK.
If you can't afford one, which is my guess, one will be provided -
a crappy one who studied law on the internet.
- What do you want? - You attacked both those dead girls.
- Oh. Did Greg tell you that? - Yeah. And, uh, this one, too.
- I didn't kill anyone. - Right. It was Greg who forced you to do that.
If you don't tell me what I need to know,
I'll remove your piercings, and I'm not gonna start with your face.
Look, I roughed 'em up, all right? That's it. I was gone. I was out of there.
Why do you think I'm never charged?
Maryland and Virginia have the death penalty. Keep that in mind before we find Megan.
These are really tight, man!
- Put on your costume. - I did.
- I got a profile of the killer from Sweets. - Dr Sweets.
Well, it's only theory, Bones. I mean, it's what he's best at. I mean, he's only 12.
- Sweets says the killer is a male. - Greg is a male.
No. No. Greg and Lola work their sick little thing together.
Sweets says that the killer works alone.
He has a respectable blue-collar job.
In his public life, he's into saving people.
He's unmarried. He has a police or military background.
You do realise that Sweets is describing you, right?
- Wow! - How do I look?
- Good. Wonder-ful. Get it? - Yeah.
- Because you're Wonder Woman. - What are you?
Oh, I'm a nerd squint, see? "What is the rationale behind that conclusion?"
- That's not what they look like. - You mean that's not what we look like.
See what I did there? I corrected you, you know, in character, as a squint.
Angela and Hodgins have a few things to show us before we go to the party.
What?
This marks the location of Shoreline Amusement Park.
These are the locations of pet shops the FBI says sold out of snakes in the last week.
- How many snakes in total? - Over a hundred.
- Let me guess. They all paid cash. - Yep.
And the last place sold out about an hour ago.
- What? An hour ago? - Booth, Megan Shaw is still alive.
Both Greg Liscombe and Lola are in custody. Sweets was right. They didn't do it.
Hodgins has isolated locations where they could've been exposed to metal particulates.
- OK, how many? - 126, not including Hawaii.
- 126. That's not good enough. - Megan Shaw is alive.
- What do you want me to do? - Guess.
- My guess is Hawaii. - Not Hawaii.
- Well, guess again, but better. - I'm sorry.
Booth, they don't guess.
- "They"? - Them!
- Well, that's just stupid. - We do not guess.
- You're a horse's ass. - Cow. I'm a cow. See my udder?
I need Zack and Hodgins. The rest of you can go.
How can we go when a 14 year old is being tortured by snakes?
We can't work at full capacity with people like you interrupting with irrelevancies.
It's true. I love you, but it's true.
- OK. We're outta here. - This is my office.
Let's go, Cher.
OK. I'll tell you what. I'll just sit right over here in this chair and I'll wait.
Booth, no.
Fine. I'll wait outside, OK? With this chair. I'll be outside with this chair.
I'm worried that Naomi from Palaeontology will feel strange being only the front half.
- She got the good end. - Is Catwoman or Wonder Woman stronger?
- Wonder Woman. - I concur vehemently.
All right. Ignoring the Hawaiian pollen, these 126 sites represent loci
where the particulates can be found. Underground garages, tunnels, et cetera.
- Dr Sweets says assume the murderer works. - You want us to go on psychology?
Assume the killer has to get back and forth from his...
In comic books, it's always called a "lair".
...from his lair in time for his job, sometimes during high-traffic hours.
- Remove sites which make that improbable. - Assuming he needs sleep?
- Six hours a night. - 12-hour shift.
- Six hours for travel and torture. - Maximum two hours travel time.
So remove everything more than 100 miles away?
Too simplistic. On a highway, it could be 120 miles.
Secondary roads, less than 50, depending upon the time of day and weather conditions.
It'll go faster if you do the calculations in your head, Zack.
Thank you.
- How many does that leave? - 31.
No way the police can hit all those spread thin on Halloween.
We can narrow it down further. Factor mummification.
Yes. Particulates plus mummification requires...
- A steady continuous supply of dry air. - A large oven with blowers.
Assume that the particulates arrived with the blowing air.
- Heated parking lots. - That's guessing.
Einstein referred to such assumptions as intuitive leaps.
I acknowledge Einstein as a scientific authority.
But he failed us this time.
- The answer is in the anomalies. - With the Hawaiian spore.
And steel dust. What makes it?
- Grinding, drilling, abrading. - Scraping, milling.
Train wheels...
OK, intuitive leap. When a train turns, it grinds the rails, creates a steel dust.
Subways. Which also provide warm, dry air. They're vented.
OK, what we need now are florists who carry Hodgins' Hawaiian flower
which are situated directly over subway tracks.
Wow. Hey, where are you going?
To get Booth. Call me when you find the florist.
- You're sure about this? - Not at all.
- Because you guessed. - We did not.
You did. I dare you to put that Lasso of Truth around you.
Now you're being irrational. This lasso doesn't work.
These bracelets aren't actually made of Amazonium. They're stainless steel.
They can't stop a bullet.
- OK. - Brennan.
Aloha Floral, Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
- The store sits right over the Red Line. - Thank you.
- Dispatch, 22705. - 22705, Dispatch.
22705 requests backup and local units
at Aloha Flowers between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
Oh, please be advised that agents are UC dressed as a squint and Wonder Woman.
Repeat, 22705.
Picture a nerd, brainiac, dweeb, dork, whatever.
- And Wonder Woman. - And Wonder Woman.
Acknowledged, 22705.
It's closed.
Go around the back.
- Dry air. - Subway. Florist.
OK, stand back.
- OK. Where did you find a place to carry that? - Look. Could I please shoot this one?
Booth.
Cedar oil, lacquer. This is where the killer mummified the bodies.
Ephedrine, other... other drugs.
- I know who the murderer is. - Who?
Let's get out of here.
Lola beats up the girls, leaves them bleeding.
Who shows up to help? Access to drugs.
The EMT. Smart. You should wear a lab coat at all times.
Puts them in his ambulance, knocks them out.
Just stay there.
- The screams are coming from inside. - Can I shoot it?
- Jeez, you shot me! Dammit! - Oh, sorry, sorry!
- I said, "Don't shoot"! - I think the bullet bounced off my bracelet.
- Just like Amazonium. - Jeez, Bones!
- What are you doing? They're not poisonous. - I know! I know!
- Why don't you come down? - I'm not in control of my actions.
Just get on my back. OK. Oh, God, Bones.
Ow.
- Megan? - It's OK.
Can you understand me?
- Oh! My head! - Just stop shooting at things, Bones.
- He had a gun. - Anyone comes through the door, shoot.
- My gun is too big. - I could've told you that. Here. Guard Megan.
Come on, Megan. Come here.
It's OK.
Argh! Dammit.
How can a guy with military training miss with a scatter-gun? Were you Navy?
Infantry! Which is how I know you're carrying the.50-calibre 500.
Well, that's five shots. And by my count...
...you only got one shot left.
That's one dumb-ass gun to bring to a shoot-out!
Where's your backup, Booth? Shouldn't they be here?
You need to be quiet. Can you do that, Megan?
- Bones, you all right? - We're OK. He's using you to get to us.
Not for long! I'm just gonna stick my scatter-gun in there and empty the barrels.
Your girl is gonna look like hamburger!
One shot.
One hell of a shot.
Now can you see why I hate clowns?
Miss Kippler.
Wow.
Miss Montenegro, you look amazing. Halloween, right?
Hodgins and I haven't decided what we're gonna do next.
- I tried to seduce him, you know. - Hodgins?
Ew! No. Your husband.
- I took off my top and everything. - Why?
I've been told I have alabaster skin that's impossible to resist touching.
Isn't that some kind of conflict of interest? The PI code?
- On the contrary. I did it for you, the client. - Mm-hm.
I was testing your husband with my wiles so that I could advise you.
You are a very dedicated investigator.
I have something I didn't want to say in front of Dr Hodgkins.
- Hodgins. There's no K. - Your husband is deeply in love with you.
Also, he has incredible abs and forearms.
So what I'm suggesting is that I take you down there, mediate a meeting
and see if any old sparks don't flare back into life.
- I'm in love with Hodgins. - Now.
Forever, Miss Kippler.
Did I mention the catch in his throat when he said your name?
Look, all I want out of him is a divorce, OK?
If you want to see him and rub your alabaster all over him
and shake his snow globes, be my guest.
All I want is the divorce.
I hear you. I believe you. I just wanted to make sure.
And please don't ever say "Ew" about Hodgins again.
Beards. I don't like beards. Especially in conjunction with huge blue eyes.
Makes me feel like I'm staring into one of those Russian religious icons.
- Oh, Dr Hodgkins. - Hodgins. Were you just talking to Angela?
Yes. I was telling her that her husband is extremely physically attractive.
OK. Enough with that now. Quit trying to drive a wedge.
It's a fact. On a scale of 1 to 10, he's 10 to the 10th power.
What am I?
You're a solid 7.5, which is quite respectable.
Your job is to help me and Angela to be together.
Dr Hodgkins, domestic issues make up the core of our business.
- Most of the time they go back. - "They go back"?
They go back to their husbands or wives most of the time. It's a fact.
And you think Angela should go back to her husband?
I don't have an opinion about should or should not.
I'm interested in will or won't. But in this case, in my opinion...
- I don't think she's going back. - Even after you practically threw him at her?
Exactly. Aren't you glad I did?
Now you can sleep like a baby because of my thorough approach.
- Thank you. - That's right, thank you.
- Where is everybody? - Well, at the party, I guess.
- We could still go. - Oh, we look like hell.
It's a Halloween party. We could be Wonder Woman and, um...
- What's Superman's secret identity? - Clark Kent.
Yes. We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent
after a really, really bad date.
- Yeah, bad date because you shot me. - It was a flesh wound, and you dropped me.
After you shot me. OK, I think I got you on this one.
OK, Wonder Woman?
I'm sorry you had to kill someone. I know you hate that.
Yeah, he had it coming.
You hate it.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
We saved the girl. It's a pretty good date.
- Except not really a date. - I know.
- It was work, not a date. - Really, really hard work.
And we're not really Wonder Woman and Clark Kent. We're Brennan and Booth.
Look, you're the one who brought up the date analogy.
- You hungry? - Yeah.
- Me too. - OK. Let's go and grab a bite to eat.
What the hell are you doing?
Nothing.
What's that mean?
English SDH