1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,017
Yes.
2
00:00:07,069 --> 00:00:08,520
"Frenzied,
3
00:00:08,554 --> 00:00:10,722
"passion for art
4
00:00:10,740 --> 00:00:12,824
"is a canker
5
00:00:12,858 --> 00:00:16,194
that devours everything else."
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00:00:19,064 --> 00:00:20,582
♪ All these problems hanging
above ya ♪
7
00:00:20,616 --> 00:00:22,117
♪ I'll answer,
I'm proceeding ♪
8
00:00:22,168 --> 00:00:23,451
♪ To rub ya the wrong way
9
00:00:23,502 --> 00:00:25,253
♪ Hate to hate to love ya
10
00:00:25,287 --> 00:00:27,339
♪ Can't win a debate
with Dubya especially ♪
11
00:00:27,373 --> 00:00:28,957
♪ When the company cap
is Kenny lay me ♪
12
00:00:29,008 --> 00:00:30,908
♪ Sweatshops paying
pennies a day ♪
13
00:00:30,926 --> 00:00:32,761
♪ 'Cause big bank
take little bank anyway ♪
14
00:00:32,795 --> 00:00:34,379
♪ Spotted countries always going
to war for many days ♪
15
00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:36,131
♪ Bush playin' Family Feud
with Saddam ♪
16
00:00:36,182 --> 00:00:38,950
♪ Survey says,
oops, you're out of time... ♪
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00:00:38,984 --> 00:00:40,218
Whoa! Whoa!
18
00:00:43,389 --> 00:00:45,023
♪ No more excuses or lies
19
00:00:45,057 --> 00:00:46,524
♪ 'Cause only truth
will survive ♪
20
00:00:46,559 --> 00:00:48,193
♪ In time we've borrowed
it through ♪
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00:00:48,227 --> 00:00:49,661
♪ All of tomorrow is you...
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00:00:49,695 --> 00:00:51,896
Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth,
he's coming around.
23
00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:53,448
Hey, there, Michelangelo, you hear me?
24
00:00:53,482 --> 00:00:54,816
You shouldn't call him that,
Booth.
25
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:57,118
If he had a head injury,
he might think that's who he is.
26
00:00:57,153 --> 00:00:59,654
Something's poking in my back.
27
00:00:59,705 --> 00:01:02,374
And something smells terrible.
28
00:01:02,408 --> 00:01:03,324
Do you know your name?
29
00:01:03,376 --> 00:01:05,243
Yes.
Okay, what is it?
30
00:01:05,277 --> 00:01:06,411
I'm not saying.
Told you.
31
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:07,962
You confused him.
No, I didn't.
32
00:01:07,997 --> 00:01:09,280
I'm not confused, I'm just
33
00:01:09,298 --> 00:01:11,132
not telling you my name.
See, he's not confused.
34
00:01:11,167 --> 00:01:12,751
Vitals are stable, no sign
35
00:01:12,785 --> 00:01:14,836
of concussion, but...
Who are you?
36
00:01:14,887 --> 00:01:16,838
Who are we?
FBI, that's who we are.
37
00:01:16,889 --> 00:01:19,457
Since when does FBI
cover billboard vandalism?
38
00:01:19,475 --> 00:01:21,259
I'd like to begin
my examination.
39
00:01:21,293 --> 00:01:23,011
Ambulance guy says I'm okay.
40
00:01:23,062 --> 00:01:25,146
Well, she doesn't mean you.
You're glued
41
00:01:25,181 --> 00:01:27,065
to decomposed human remains.
42
00:01:27,099 --> 00:01:29,184
Huh?
We're gonna flip you on the board.
43
00:01:29,235 --> 00:01:31,236
Okay, let's do it.
44
00:01:31,270 --> 00:01:32,470
You three grab the head.
What's on me?
45
00:01:32,488 --> 00:01:33,688
You two grab the feet.
46
00:01:33,739 --> 00:01:34,773
Easy on the neck, okay?
47
00:01:34,807 --> 00:01:36,708
One, two,
48
00:01:36,742 --> 00:01:38,693
three.
49
00:01:38,744 --> 00:01:40,328
This is weird.
50
00:01:40,362 --> 00:01:41,496
Easy on the shoulder.
51
00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:42,997
Take it slow.
52
00:01:46,035 --> 00:01:48,820
What-what's on my back?
53
00:01:51,006 --> 00:01:51,989
Why is it sticking to him?
54
00:01:52,007 --> 00:01:53,541
Industrial strength adhesive.
55
00:01:53,592 --> 00:01:55,009
I got it.
56
00:01:55,044 --> 00:01:58,379
You know what, Bones, he was...
he was standing up there,
57
00:01:58,431 --> 00:01:59,764
sticking that to that.
58
00:01:59,799 --> 00:02:01,049
He tripped over his bucket.
59
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,967
The buckets falls
and he gets stuck. Right?
60
00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:05,470
There's a dead dude
stuck to my back?
61
00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:07,021
Bones, why can't
we just, you know,
62
00:02:07,056 --> 00:02:08,840
peel them apart?
63
00:02:08,858 --> 00:02:10,692
The adhesive has had ample time
to adhere.
64
00:02:10,726 --> 00:02:12,009
Pulling them apart
65
00:02:12,027 --> 00:02:14,846
would rip off Michelangelo's
skin, or worse,
66
00:02:14,864 --> 00:02:16,514
completely destroy the evidence.
67
00:02:16,532 --> 00:02:18,015
Worse than ripping off my skin?
68
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:19,684
Well, this could certainly be
cause of death.
69
00:02:21,019 --> 00:02:22,570
What?
70
00:02:22,621 --> 00:02:23,688
An anomalous projectile
71
00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:25,156
completed a transparietal
trajectory.
72
00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:26,875
Why can't you just be simple?
73
00:02:26,909 --> 00:02:28,526
Arrow through the head. Murder.
74
00:02:28,544 --> 00:02:29,878
Insect and rat activity
is indicated.
75
00:02:29,912 --> 00:02:32,497
We must be near
an open sewer.
76
00:02:32,531 --> 00:02:35,333
Oh, come on, man!
77
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:37,135
Get it off of me!
78
00:02:37,169 --> 00:02:39,170
After we get back to the lab.
Yeah, it should give you
79
00:02:39,204 --> 00:02:40,922
and your new buddy
some time to bond there.
80
00:02:45,811 --> 00:02:47,512
We caught a good one.
81
00:02:47,546 --> 00:02:48,680
We've been over this.
82
00:02:48,714 --> 00:02:50,715
There's no such thing
as a good murder.
83
00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:53,735
Babe, I need your secret
stash of peanut butter.
84
00:02:53,769 --> 00:02:55,219
Hodgins,
I bring in my peanut butter
85
00:02:55,237 --> 00:02:57,572
for a little comfort food
every once in a while.
86
00:02:57,606 --> 00:02:59,240
For comfort? Why?
87
00:02:59,275 --> 00:03:01,526
I got a ticket this morning.
88
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,060
Speeding?
89
00:03:03,078 --> 00:03:04,746
No, I turned
right on a red.
90
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:05,914
Well, that's legal.
91
00:03:05,948 --> 00:03:07,916
Not at Broadway and Nash.
92
00:03:07,950 --> 00:03:10,251
It's like a police trap
over there.
93
00:03:10,286 --> 00:03:13,237
They just wait,
like fishermen after trout.
94
00:03:13,255 --> 00:03:15,673
I think you mean like
a deer hunter at a salt lick.
95
00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:17,258
Was there a sign?
96
00:03:17,293 --> 00:03:19,761
There was one, but
it was really small.
97
00:03:19,795 --> 00:03:21,679
Okay, well then,
you definitely have to fight it.
98
00:03:21,714 --> 00:03:23,548
Why?
Because it's unfair.
99
00:03:23,582 --> 00:03:25,767
Now, come on, if you can give me
the peanut butter,
100
00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:27,101
then the Jeffersonian
will reimburse you.
101
00:03:27,136 --> 00:03:28,136
Shouldn't I just
102
00:03:28,187 --> 00:03:30,588
pay the fine
and get on with my life?
103
00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:33,591
What?
104
00:03:33,609 --> 00:03:36,594
Where is the spark plug
that I married?
105
00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:40,698
The spark plug you married
conducted an unfettered sex life
106
00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:43,484
and never lived anywhere
for more than a couple of years.
107
00:03:43,536 --> 00:03:44,886
You want her back around?
108
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,938
There's really no way to answer
that without making you mad.
109
00:03:46,956 --> 00:03:48,122
Babe,
110
00:03:48,157 --> 00:03:49,240
peanut butter.
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00:03:49,274 --> 00:03:50,708
Cover your eyes.
112
00:04:01,954 --> 00:04:03,338
Are we allowed to laugh?
113
00:04:03,389 --> 00:04:05,122
No.
Okay.
114
00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:06,975
What are we calling the
one that's still alive?
115
00:04:07,009 --> 00:04:08,309
Well, Booth calls him
Michelangelo.
116
00:04:08,344 --> 00:04:09,344
Michelangelo
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00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:10,645
worked on commission.
118
00:04:10,679 --> 00:04:12,680
That's no kind of real artist.
119
00:04:12,731 --> 00:04:14,399
Michelangelo's no
kind of real artist.
120
00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:15,600
Good to know.
121
00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:16,851
Why won't you tell us your name?
122
00:04:16,902 --> 00:04:18,319
'Cause I don't want you
to know it.
123
00:04:18,354 --> 00:04:20,388
Kind of obvious, right?
124
00:04:20,422 --> 00:04:23,474
Large, rugged pelvis suggests
the victim was a Caucasian male.
125
00:04:23,492 --> 00:04:24,909
I have a large, rugged pelvis?
126
00:04:24,944 --> 00:04:26,945
Boo-ya!
127
00:04:26,979 --> 00:04:28,980
Not you,
the murder victim.
128
00:04:28,998 --> 00:04:30,481
Upper margin formation
129
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:33,534
on the pubic synthesis
indicates early 30s.
130
00:04:33,586 --> 00:04:34,953
The victim's C5
131
00:04:34,987 --> 00:04:37,171
and C6 vertebrae
have been fused.
132
00:04:37,206 --> 00:04:38,523
Uncommon for
someone that young.
133
00:04:38,557 --> 00:04:41,459
Hmm. If we find the doctor
who performed the procedure,
134
00:04:41,493 --> 00:04:43,628
we can identify the victim.
135
00:04:43,662 --> 00:04:45,680
How about the corpse
that's trying to sodomize me?
136
00:04:45,714 --> 00:04:47,966
We have to separate Michelangelo
and the corpse.
137
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,166
There we go.
138
00:04:49,184 --> 00:04:50,668
What about a laser?
139
00:04:50,686 --> 00:04:52,003
No, no lasers.
140
00:04:52,021 --> 00:04:55,807
I-I agree with the smart
and beautiful angel.
141
00:04:55,841 --> 00:04:58,393
Well, the smart and beautiful
angel is gonna go find out
142
00:04:58,444 --> 00:05:00,278
who fused our
victim's neck bones.
143
00:05:00,312 --> 00:05:02,447
Okay, fracture lines
144
00:05:02,481 --> 00:05:04,565
from the obscured region
and onto the zygomatic,
145
00:05:04,617 --> 00:05:07,402
indicative of a perimortem
trauma to the facial bones.
146
00:05:07,453 --> 00:05:08,820
The arrow's clearly visible
147
00:05:08,854 --> 00:05:10,822
on either side
of the victim's skull,
148
00:05:10,856 --> 00:05:12,690
but it didn't
actually pierce it.
149
00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:14,208
Steve Martin?
150
00:05:14,243 --> 00:05:15,243
Michelangelo's real name
151
00:05:15,294 --> 00:05:16,711
is Steve Martin?
152
00:05:16,745 --> 00:05:17,745
It's a gag.
153
00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:19,163
The ends of the arrows
154
00:05:19,197 --> 00:05:20,915
are connected
to a plastic headband.
155
00:05:20,966 --> 00:05:22,283
Steve Martin?
156
00:05:22,318 --> 00:05:23,501
No?
It's a gag.
157
00:05:23,535 --> 00:05:24,719
Thus, irrelevant.
158
00:05:24,753 --> 00:05:27,588
Mr. Fisher, find a way
to separate Michelangelo
159
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,390
and Steve Martin
without damaging the evidence.
160
00:05:29,425 --> 00:05:31,426
Okay.
161
00:05:31,477 --> 00:05:35,563
Everyone here is this weird
combo of smart and dumb.
162
00:05:35,597 --> 00:05:37,015
Hey.
163
00:05:37,049 --> 00:05:38,516
Dr. Saroyan nixed the laser.
164
00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:40,384
I knew she would,
which is why I brought this.
165
00:05:40,402 --> 00:05:42,403
Oh, God, what did he bring?
166
00:05:42,438 --> 00:05:43,571
Peanut butter.
167
00:05:43,605 --> 00:05:45,273
Peanut butter?
168
00:05:45,324 --> 00:05:47,191
I'm not a piece of toast.
169
00:05:47,225 --> 00:05:50,094
The oils in the peanut butter
will break down the cohesion
170
00:05:50,129 --> 00:05:51,562
of the cyanoacrylates.
171
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,631
The glue will unstick.
172
00:05:53,666 --> 00:05:54,916
This guy's gonna rub me down
173
00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:56,768
with peanut butter?
Yep,
174
00:05:56,802 --> 00:05:57,752
and then cut off your clothes.
175
00:05:57,786 --> 00:05:58,903
Um...
How's about
176
00:05:58,921 --> 00:06:00,071
she does that?
177
00:06:00,089 --> 00:06:01,673
Did you do that?
178
00:06:01,707 --> 00:06:03,624
No.
Oh, my God.
179
00:06:03,676 --> 00:06:05,126
You're-you're Zed.
180
00:06:05,177 --> 00:06:06,444
No, I'm not.
181
00:06:06,478 --> 00:06:08,096
Y-You are.
182
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,514
You painted that.
183
00:06:09,548 --> 00:06:10,631
It's you.
184
00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:11,933
The artist Zed?
185
00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:13,718
What's a Zed?
186
00:06:13,752 --> 00:06:15,970
Zed's a legend,
mysterious street artist
187
00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:17,188
that nobody's ever met.
188
00:06:17,222 --> 00:06:19,085
My name is Seth Zalinsky.
189
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,358
Okay, well,
at least we got his
190
00:06:20,359 --> 00:06:23,027
name out of him.
Come on, this mook
191
00:06:23,062 --> 00:06:24,696
isn't the elusive
and brilliant Zed.
192
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:25,813
Look at him.
193
00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:26,948
I know my rights.
194
00:06:26,982 --> 00:06:28,432
You can't just pin me down
195
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:29,734
and slather peanut butter
196
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:31,435
all over my private self.
197
00:06:31,453 --> 00:06:33,154
What if we sedate you?
198
00:06:33,205 --> 00:06:34,288
Depends.
199
00:06:34,323 --> 00:06:36,424
What do you got?
200
00:06:39,641 --> 00:06:43,641
♪ Bones 8x08 ♪
The But in the Joke
Original Air Date on November 26, 2012
201
00:06:43,666 --> 00:06:48,666
♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
202
00:06:48,691 --> 00:07:09,904
♪
203
00:07:13,909 --> 00:07:15,342
My name is Denny Bennet.
204
00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:17,528
I'm the manager
of Tele-Com Inc. Telemarketing.
205
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,397
I filed
a missing persons report
206
00:07:19,431 --> 00:07:23,034
on one of my employees,
Morgan Donnelly, three days ago.
207
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,201
Why is he talking like that?
208
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:25,352
I don't know.
209
00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:26,804
The company lawyer told me
to speak clearly,
210
00:07:26,838 --> 00:07:28,623
tell the truth, and I'd have
nothing to worry about.
211
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,491
Right, well, you have
one hell of a lawyer.
212
00:07:30,525 --> 00:07:33,461
Did you find,
uh, Morgan?
213
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,962
Yes, he is dead.
214
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,364
Donnelly's dead?
Dead, dead?
215
00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:39,383
We identified him by
his neck operation.
216
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,868
He was murdered.
217
00:07:40,886 --> 00:07:43,254
Oh, my God, that can't be.
218
00:07:43,305 --> 00:07:45,039
How am I supposed
to go on?
219
00:07:45,057 --> 00:07:46,373
Donnelly's my heir apparent.
220
00:07:46,391 --> 00:07:48,175
I've been grooming him,
and now I've got nobody.
221
00:07:48,209 --> 00:07:50,061
What do you sell at Tele-Com?
Everything.
222
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,679
Last few weeks,
we've been selling
223
00:07:51,713 --> 00:07:53,380
a time-share in Muncie, Indiana.
224
00:07:53,398 --> 00:07:55,066
Gateway to Indianapolis.
225
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,216
And he could sell that?
226
00:07:56,234 --> 00:07:59,403
Yeah, he can...
could sell anything.
227
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,155
Did anyone resent Donnelly?
228
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,723
Enough to kill him? No.
229
00:08:02,741 --> 00:08:04,391
Did he have difficulty
with anyone?
230
00:08:04,409 --> 00:08:06,944
His girlfriend stormed
into the office
231
00:08:06,995 --> 00:08:08,529
last Friday,
hollered at him
232
00:08:08,563 --> 00:08:09,747
in front of everyone.
233
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,082
Claimed he was cheating on her.
234
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,084
Like she's one to talk.
235
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,336
Are you implying that she
herself was unfaithful?
236
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,004
Implying?
Hell, I'll say it directly.
237
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,205
She was a cheater.
238
00:08:18,239 --> 00:08:20,591
And how do you know?
239
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,242
She cheated on me with Donnelly.
So, you're telling me
240
00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,045
that he stole your girlfriend.
241
00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:25,746
Wow, that really must
have pissed you off.
242
00:08:25,764 --> 00:08:26,797
At first,
243
00:08:26,848 --> 00:08:28,349
but that was like, a year ago.
244
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,267
Wait, am I a suspect?
245
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:31,385
Most definitely.
246
00:08:31,419 --> 00:08:32,687
I want to talk
to the company lawyer.
247
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,639
In a sign of good faith,
why don't you cough up
248
00:08:34,690 --> 00:08:36,907
the name and the address
of the cheater girl?
249
00:08:41,029 --> 00:08:43,898
I had to pry this peanut
butter out of Angela's hands.
250
00:08:43,932 --> 00:08:45,149
Apparently, she needed
251
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,451
the comfort of some smooth PB
this morning
252
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:50,270
after being caught making
an illegal right on red.
253
00:08:50,288 --> 00:08:51,322
Ah, police trap.
254
00:08:51,373 --> 00:08:52,740
Corner of Broadway and Nash.
255
00:08:52,774 --> 00:08:54,041
Been there, done that.
256
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,661
I feel...
you know how when you wake up
257
00:08:56,712 --> 00:08:58,546
on Sunday morning,
258
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,332
and you smell your mom
making breakfast?
259
00:09:01,383 --> 00:09:03,384
Your dad's trying
260
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,052
to make her dance
to some ancient
261
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:08,089
Tears for Fears song
about shouting.
262
00:09:08,123 --> 00:09:10,257
It's weird
when the remains talk.
263
00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:11,759
This is gonna work?
264
00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:14,294
Is that you,
sweet chocolate angel?
265
00:09:14,312 --> 00:09:15,796
Oh, my God.
266
00:09:15,814 --> 00:09:17,682
What did you give him?
Some stuff for depression,
267
00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:19,266
mood swings, panic disorder...
268
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,467
Okay.
269
00:09:20,485 --> 00:09:21,519
I don't want to know.
270
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:23,938
What I heard: cup
of chamomile tea.
271
00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:25,322
We're done.
272
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:26,357
Okay.
273
00:09:26,408 --> 00:09:28,275
Hey.
274
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,644
You good for a few moments?
275
00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:32,830
I am good for eternity.
276
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:35,332
Let's go.
277
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,821
You here for my sponge bath?
278
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,489
That would be transcendent.
279
00:09:42,507 --> 00:09:46,293
Admit that Seth Zalinsky
is not your only name.
280
00:09:46,327 --> 00:09:49,630
Well, in high school,
they called me tripod.
281
00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:52,133
Oh,
282
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:54,185
now I'm very sad.
283
00:09:55,103 --> 00:09:57,337
You did this.
284
00:09:57,355 --> 00:09:58,639
You're Zed.
285
00:09:58,673 --> 00:10:00,691
Zed is not my nickname.
286
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:03,027
It's my alter ego.
287
00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:05,813
Much bigger deal.
288
00:10:05,847 --> 00:10:08,365
I'm very honored to meet you.
289
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,401
Really. I mean, you are
290
00:10:10,452 --> 00:10:13,537
a wonderful, wonderful artist.
291
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,023
And you are really young,
292
00:10:16,057 --> 00:10:18,409
which is so much
more impressive somehow.
293
00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:20,995
I am totally babbling
because I am starstruck.
294
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:22,362
That's what it is.
295
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,031
You want to make out?
296
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,468
You know,
297
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,220
time was I would have
jumped you,
298
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,888
but I'm a married woman now,
299
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,724
so I'm just gonna kiss you
because of who you are.
300
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,893
Okay?
301
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,102
I felt something move.
302
00:10:45,153 --> 00:10:46,570
Don't ruin my moment.
303
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,222
On my back.
304
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,858
I think the dead guy's
separating.
305
00:10:53,662 --> 00:10:55,696
You know, you really
didn't have to come.
306
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,615
You said you wanted
me to come with you.
307
00:10:57,666 --> 00:10:59,033
Where are we going?
308
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,901
We're gonna go talk to the
hollering, cheating girlfriend.
309
00:11:00,919 --> 00:11:04,789
No, I mean, my Prius has a
voice-activated navigation system.
310
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,507
Oh, 709 Windsor Drive.
311
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,659
Enter an address.
312
00:11:08,693 --> 00:11:11,095
709 Windsor Drive.
313
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,179
Searching.
314
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,464
Now you don't have
to unfold
315
00:11:13,515 --> 00:11:14,548
and refold a map.
316
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,684
Wait a second. I like maps.
What's wrong with maps?
317
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,435
Well, maps cannot
tell you
318
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,471
the amount of traffic
you should expect
319
00:11:20,522 --> 00:11:23,257
en route
to your destination.
320
00:11:23,275 --> 00:11:24,692
Look at that.
See?
321
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,444
Now we can relax, talk
about interesting things.
322
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,446
This is not how the cowboys
settled this country.
323
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,898
The cowboys didn't
have antibiotics.
324
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,950
Do you also want to die
from a skinned knuckle?
325
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,318
Sometimes.
326
00:11:34,369 --> 00:11:36,737
Cowboys didn't settle
this country.
327
00:11:36,771 --> 00:11:38,772
Farmers did.
328
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:42,576
Alexa! The FBI wants
to talk to you!
329
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:43,961
You know, you
shouldn't feel bad
330
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,462
about living with
your sister.
331
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:48,666
The current trend of delaying
marriage, along with the economy
332
00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:50,217
means that people have to adapt.
333
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:52,786
However, it does complicate
the sex life.
334
00:11:52,804 --> 00:11:55,890
Tell me about it.
335
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,007
Hey, I'm Alexa.
336
00:11:57,058 --> 00:11:59,126
Can I help you guys
with something?
337
00:11:59,144 --> 00:12:01,178
Like to ask you a few questions
about Morgan Donnelly.
338
00:12:01,229 --> 00:12:03,347
Here we go.
Mm-hmm.
339
00:12:03,398 --> 00:12:04,732
I'm afraid he's dead.
340
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,934
Of course he is.
341
00:12:06,968 --> 00:12:10,521
Did he get crushed by a falling
anvil or something?
342
00:12:10,572 --> 00:12:12,573
No, that is not correct.
343
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,825
We believe you had
an altercation
344
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,027
with him
a few days ago.
345
00:12:17,078 --> 00:12:19,947
I find their upbeat demeanor
highly suspicious.
346
00:12:19,981 --> 00:12:21,999
This is a serious situation.
He may have been murdered.
347
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,001
Oh!
Murdered!
348
00:12:29,257 --> 00:12:31,759
Ow! Ow! Ow!
349
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:32,993
Okay, careful,
Mr. Fisher.
350
00:12:33,028 --> 00:12:34,295
It's his hair,
that's all.
351
00:12:34,329 --> 00:12:36,547
Ah!
There we go.
352
00:12:36,598 --> 00:12:41,435
It is with great pleasure
that I divorce these skulls.
353
00:12:45,857 --> 00:12:50,644
Massive blunt-force trauma
to the facial bones.
354
00:12:50,678 --> 00:12:52,179
The victim's skull is
totally smashed in.
355
00:12:52,197 --> 00:12:55,482
Did I do that
when I fell on him?
356
00:12:55,516 --> 00:12:58,218
'Cause I didn't do it
on purpose.
357
00:12:58,253 --> 00:13:00,154
No, the fracture lines
on the zygomatic bones
358
00:13:00,188 --> 00:13:01,789
indicate the trauma
was sustained
359
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,374
around time of death.
360
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:07,403
Which was five days before
you fell on him.
361
00:13:07,404 --> 00:13:09,127
Whoa, whoa, wait, there could be...
Whoa!
362
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,199
...blowflies.
363
00:13:12,217 --> 00:13:15,753
That explains
the constant buzzing.
364
00:13:15,804 --> 00:13:18,389
You are a very calm young man.
365
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,640
Pharmaceutically
enhanced calm.
366
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:22,393
Third instar larvae.
367
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:25,712
The victim die five days ago.
368
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:27,765
Five days ago was Friday.
369
00:13:27,816 --> 00:13:30,651
The same day the victim's
girlfriend accused him of cheating.
370
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,723
God, it's so weird
when they move.
371
00:13:36,741 --> 00:13:38,025
That felt good.
372
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:40,527
Almost as good as when
that Asian chick kissed me.
373
00:13:40,561 --> 00:13:41,528
Wait. What?
374
00:13:41,562 --> 00:13:43,197
That Asian chick kissed me.
375
00:13:43,231 --> 00:13:45,666
Let's clean
Mr. Zalinsky up,
376
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,136
and in some
kind of clothes.
377
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,406
Oh, come...
378
00:13:52,424 --> 00:13:54,174
I already slathered him
with peanut butter,
379
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:55,459
plied him with
pharmaceuticals,
380
00:13:55,510 --> 00:13:57,795
now I got to give him
a sponge bath?
381
00:13:57,846 --> 00:14:00,681
What Asian chick did you kiss?
382
00:14:07,769 --> 00:14:11,188
The FBI really call in a
psychiatrist because I laughed?
383
00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:13,473
Now you all think I'm
some sort of psychopath?
384
00:14:13,507 --> 00:14:16,560
I'm actually a psychologist,
Ms. Eaton.
385
00:14:16,611 --> 00:14:20,113
But, um, yes,
Agent Booth called me
386
00:14:20,148 --> 00:14:22,482
because he was struck
by your sudden mood swing.
387
00:14:22,516 --> 00:14:23,817
I'm not a psycho!
388
00:14:23,851 --> 00:14:25,619
Can you tell me how
389
00:14:25,653 --> 00:14:27,454
you feel about Morgan Donnelly's
death?
390
00:14:27,488 --> 00:14:29,656
Um, I'm very upset! Look at me.
391
00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:31,541
Can you tell me why you laughed?
392
00:14:31,576 --> 00:14:35,045
Because I thought it was another
one of Morgan's practical jokes.
393
00:14:35,079 --> 00:14:36,213
He was a joker?
394
00:14:36,247 --> 00:14:37,697
Yes.
395
00:14:37,715 --> 00:14:39,883
And I thought it was his way
396
00:14:39,917 --> 00:14:41,885
of totally making up
after our fight.
397
00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:43,036
What fight?
398
00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:44,638
A girl walked up
and kissed him.
399
00:14:44,672 --> 00:14:47,591
I figured he didn't need
to enjoy it so much.
400
00:14:47,642 --> 00:14:49,376
A girl just walked up
and kissed him?
401
00:14:49,394 --> 00:14:52,729
Yeah, right on the lips.
Some tongue action, too.
402
00:14:52,764 --> 00:14:54,714
She recognized him.
403
00:14:54,732 --> 00:14:56,483
What? I was not aware
404
00:14:56,517 --> 00:14:59,052
that telemarketers
attracted that kind of notice.
405
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:02,055
Morgan was a comedian, okay?
406
00:15:02,073 --> 00:15:05,392
The telemarketing gig,
it was just temporary.
407
00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:08,362
Okay, that explains the fake
arrow through his head.
408
00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:10,864
Morgan had an amazing
sense of humor.
409
00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:12,332
Girls like that in a guy.
410
00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:16,169
Yeah, I always thought that
that was... a lie.
411
00:15:16,204 --> 00:15:18,088
So, was Morgan's sense of humor
412
00:15:18,122 --> 00:15:20,007
the reason why
you left his boss?
413
00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:22,926
Look, if you met Denny, you'd
know why I went for Morgan.
414
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,846
You think Denny could have
killed Morgan out of jealousy?
415
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:26,847
After a year?
416
00:15:26,881 --> 00:15:28,932
Even Denny thinks
faster than that.
417
00:15:28,966 --> 00:15:30,083
Okay, and when was
418
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:31,935
the last time you saw Morgan?
419
00:15:31,969 --> 00:15:36,023
He came over for dinner
that same night, Friday.
420
00:15:36,057 --> 00:15:37,941
And then I went to work.
421
00:15:37,975 --> 00:15:39,893
I'm a bartender.
You can check that out.
422
00:15:39,927 --> 00:15:41,094
Sure.
423
00:15:41,112 --> 00:15:44,597
And then, when I came home,
Morgan wasn't there.
424
00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:48,702
I didn't kill Morgan.
425
00:15:48,736 --> 00:15:50,871
I loved him.
426
00:15:50,905 --> 00:15:52,739
You know who you should be
looking for?
427
00:15:52,773 --> 00:15:54,908
Whoever put that arrow gag
on his head.
428
00:15:54,942 --> 00:15:56,960
That wasn't his?
No way!
429
00:15:56,994 --> 00:16:00,047
He hated that shtick stuff.
His material was cerebral.
430
00:16:00,081 --> 00:16:01,748
You wouldn't by
any chance
431
00:16:01,782 --> 00:16:04,551
have footage
of Morgan's stand-up?
432
00:16:04,585 --> 00:16:06,820
My brother, Elliot,
recorded every show.
433
00:16:13,895 --> 00:16:16,146
Mr. Fisher,
if we are to determine
434
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,181
the murder weapon,
it is of the uttermost importance
435
00:16:18,232 --> 00:16:19,599
that the remains
be clean.
436
00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:22,135
Dr. Hodgins has a plan.
437
00:16:22,153 --> 00:16:24,321
I don't know
if you're aware,
438
00:16:24,355 --> 00:16:26,139
but I do a bit
of stand-up myself.
439
00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:28,809
I imagine you are
not very skilled at it
440
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:31,862
as you are not
a humorous person.
441
00:16:31,913 --> 00:16:33,613
My routine is dark, disturbing
and uncomfortable.
442
00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:35,699
Just the way
a comedy show should be.
443
00:16:37,368 --> 00:16:41,505
Notice the large number of chips
and fragments.
444
00:16:41,539 --> 00:16:43,757
Also how the chip itself
is fragmented?
445
00:16:43,791 --> 00:16:46,426
Huh. One blow created
the chip,
446
00:16:46,461 --> 00:16:48,378
a second or a third
shattered it again.
447
00:16:48,429 --> 00:16:51,131
The victim was struck
in the face
448
00:16:51,165 --> 00:16:53,934
several times with a blunt object.
449
00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:55,385
Do you find that amusing?
450
00:16:55,436 --> 00:16:57,337
Amusing? No.
451
00:16:57,355 --> 00:16:59,973
Darkly illuminating
in a manner which allows us
452
00:17:00,007 --> 00:17:02,842
to laugh defiantly
into the yawning abyss?
453
00:17:02,860 --> 00:17:03,894
That's hilarious.
454
00:17:03,945 --> 00:17:05,195
I'm sorry,
I'm trying
455
00:17:05,229 --> 00:17:07,514
to see the hilarity,
but all I see is a man
456
00:17:07,532 --> 00:17:09,399
who was beaten in the face
until he died.
457
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,318
Hmm.
458
00:17:11,352 --> 00:17:13,019
Sorry.
459
00:17:16,874 --> 00:17:18,742
Hey, hey, did you get
anything off
460
00:17:18,793 --> 00:17:19,960
the laughing girlfriend?
461
00:17:19,994 --> 00:17:21,461
Oh, Alexa Eaton and
her brother laughed
462
00:17:21,496 --> 00:17:23,696
because they thought you
and Dr. Brennan were a prank.
463
00:17:23,714 --> 00:17:25,382
Oh, there's your motive
for murder right there:
464
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:26,750
practical jokes.
465
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:30,870
I mean, hey, everybody,
you know, they hate practical jokers.
466
00:17:30,888 --> 00:17:32,372
The victim was a
stand-up comedian.
467
00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:33,706
Well, that would explain,
you know,
468
00:17:33,724 --> 00:17:34,975
the arrow through
the head.
469
00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:36,977
Mm-hmm. The killer might have
been another stand-up.
470
00:17:37,011 --> 00:17:38,378
Where would
you get that?
471
00:17:38,396 --> 00:17:39,813
Well, the arrow
on the head
472
00:17:39,847 --> 00:17:41,097
could have been
placed there
473
00:17:41,149 --> 00:17:43,216
as a mark of derision.
You know, an insult.
474
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:44,601
Whoa, whoa. Why?
That's a funny bit.
475
00:17:44,652 --> 00:17:48,355
Yeah, it's a classic.
Uh, so I went through
476
00:17:48,389 --> 00:17:50,774
some of Morgan Donnelly's
stand-up routine,
477
00:17:50,825 --> 00:17:52,442
came up with some interesting
clues and insights.
478
00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:55,162
Arrow through the head, that's
a... that's a funny gag.
479
00:17:55,196 --> 00:17:57,730
Yeah, is, was,
and always will be.
480
00:17:57,748 --> 00:18:01,234
Let me know when you want
to hear the rest of my insights.
481
00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:02,669
I have visual aids.
Okay, great.
482
00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:05,172
I laugh out loud
all the time I see that.
483
00:18:05,206 --> 00:18:07,958
The arrow through
the head.
484
00:18:08,009 --> 00:18:10,227
It's funny.
485
00:18:13,464 --> 00:18:15,182
Who did all
this stuff?
486
00:18:15,216 --> 00:18:16,466
Uh, what are you doing here?
487
00:18:16,517 --> 00:18:17,684
They told me
488
00:18:17,718 --> 00:18:20,253
I could sleep on the couch.
Did you paint this?
489
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:22,389
Um...
490
00:18:22,423 --> 00:18:23,923
Yes.
491
00:18:23,941 --> 00:18:26,560
Yes, those are mine.
492
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:28,678
Why are you in my office?
493
00:18:28,713 --> 00:18:29,779
I don't know.
494
00:18:29,814 --> 00:18:31,531
I think they roofied me.
495
00:18:31,566 --> 00:18:33,033
It was pretty great.
496
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:36,403
I do remember your husband was
peeved that you kissed me.
497
00:18:36,437 --> 00:18:39,990
Oh, yeah. Let me worry
about Hodgins.
498
00:18:40,041 --> 00:18:43,577
Middle-class, suburban hang-ups
and sexual values.
499
00:18:43,611 --> 00:18:47,797
What are you,
like, 19?
500
00:18:47,832 --> 00:18:51,835
Oh, so you think my idealistic
approach to art is adolescent?
501
00:18:54,955 --> 00:18:56,122
But it looks to me like
502
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:59,009
you used to have some
ideals of your own.
503
00:18:59,060 --> 00:19:02,979
Before you got married,
had a baby, started painting...
504
00:19:03,014 --> 00:19:04,931
What the hell is that
supposed to be?
505
00:19:04,965 --> 00:19:06,983
Uh...
506
00:19:07,018 --> 00:19:09,519
Do you want me to
call you a cab or...
507
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:10,970
No, I can find
my own way.
508
00:19:10,988 --> 00:19:13,406
I have since
I was an adolescent.
509
00:19:13,441 --> 00:19:15,025
Hmm.
510
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:18,528
You're the only person
in the world
511
00:19:18,579 --> 00:19:22,165
who knows my secret identity.
512
00:19:22,199 --> 00:19:24,668
Okay, Batman.
513
00:19:24,702 --> 00:19:30,006
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't tell anyone.
514
00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:32,425
Let me guess,
you're keeping it pure, right?
515
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:36,296
You want to make it about the
art and not about the artist.
516
00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,798
Some things are easy
to make fun of.
517
00:19:38,832 --> 00:19:42,686
Doesn't mean
they're not important.
518
00:19:44,689 --> 00:19:47,674
I'll make you a deal.
You keep your lips zipped,
519
00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:52,512
and tonight, I'll take
care of Broadway and Nash.
520
00:19:53,614 --> 00:19:58,418
Okay, your secret
is safe with me.
521
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:07,844
You have excellent...
522
00:20:09,163 --> 00:20:10,863
...technique.
523
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,067
Know what else
is completely made up?
524
00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:26,069
"General anxiety disorder."
525
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:28,021
Yeah, you know what this is?
526
00:20:28,039 --> 00:20:29,072
It's called "life."
527
00:20:29,123 --> 00:20:30,874
That's exactly
what you need to do;
528
00:20:30,908 --> 00:20:32,209
get a life!
529
00:20:32,243 --> 00:20:34,694
Sir, if I've said anything
to offend you,
530
00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:37,697
please, please know
that I am delighted.
531
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,585
That heckler can be heard
on several of the tapes.
532
00:20:41,636 --> 00:20:43,470
Every single time,
Donnelly humiliates him
533
00:20:43,504 --> 00:20:45,038
in front of the crowd.
534
00:20:45,056 --> 00:20:46,590
How many times you hear
the same heckler?
535
00:20:46,641 --> 00:20:48,258
About a dozen, and I haven't
even been through all the tapes.
536
00:20:48,309 --> 00:20:50,260
Is that normal?
One heckler,
537
00:20:50,311 --> 00:20:51,311
time after time?
538
00:20:51,345 --> 00:20:52,395
I asked Fisher.
539
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:53,379
Fisher the intern?
540
00:20:53,397 --> 00:20:55,398
Fisher the comic?
Fisher's funny?
541
00:20:55,433 --> 00:20:57,851
Not at all. He's kind of an
underground sensation, though.
542
00:20:57,885 --> 00:20:58,769
It's brilliant.
543
00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:00,103
Fisher said
it's not normal.
544
00:21:00,154 --> 00:21:01,554
If anyone knows heckling,
it's Fisher.
545
00:21:01,572 --> 00:21:02,981
Okay, how do we ID
the heckler?
546
00:21:03,006 --> 00:21:04,274
Easy.
547
00:21:04,275 --> 00:21:06,726
His name's Larry Baron.
He's another comic, crappy.
548
00:21:06,744 --> 00:21:07,944
Him and Morgan hated each other.
549
00:21:07,995 --> 00:21:09,079
Why didn't you
just tell me that?
550
00:21:09,113 --> 00:21:10,247
You didn't ask.
551
00:21:10,281 --> 00:21:12,732
Fine. Where can we find him?
552
00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:14,334
He's the bartender
at Laughtastic's.
553
00:21:14,368 --> 00:21:16,503
Laughtastic's, great.
So, why did you tape
554
00:21:16,537 --> 00:21:18,538
all of Morgan Donnelly's
stand-up routines?
555
00:21:18,572 --> 00:21:21,792
He was my sister's boyfriend.
He hired me.
556
00:21:21,843 --> 00:21:24,427
He was my mentor, and I
fed him lots of good ideas.
557
00:21:24,462 --> 00:21:26,963
He said I was his muse.
558
00:21:27,014 --> 00:21:29,099
Not in a creepy sex way
or anything.
559
00:21:29,133 --> 00:21:30,416
It was in a funny way.
560
00:21:30,434 --> 00:21:33,103
Any way you think you could
introduce me to Fisher?
561
00:21:33,137 --> 00:21:34,554
Probably not
562
00:21:34,588 --> 00:21:36,356
'cause of the murder
investigation, huh?
563
00:21:36,390 --> 00:21:37,841
Is it too weird?
564
00:21:42,547 --> 00:21:45,198
You're gonna get dermestid
beetles in my peanut butter.
565
00:21:45,233 --> 00:21:46,432
The beetles will eat
566
00:21:46,450 --> 00:21:48,201
what's left of
the victim's flesh.
567
00:21:48,236 --> 00:21:51,655
And for peanut butter, nothing
beats Gromphadorhina portentosa,
568
00:21:51,706 --> 00:21:54,658
aka the Madagascar
hissing cockroach.
569
00:21:54,692 --> 00:21:57,377
So, this victim, did
you ever hear of him?
570
00:21:57,411 --> 00:21:58,945
He was a popular comic.
571
00:21:58,963 --> 00:22:02,299
Sure sign you've transgressed
the unwritten rule of comedy.
572
00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,417
I thought the only rule
in comedy was to be funny.
573
00:22:04,451 --> 00:22:07,170
Tragically, you're not the only
one who thinks that way.
574
00:22:07,221 --> 00:22:10,307
Well, if you ask me,
575
00:22:10,341 --> 00:22:12,959
it gets no better
than the Stooges.
576
00:22:12,977 --> 00:22:15,011
Unfettered psychopathic
violence!
577
00:22:15,062 --> 00:22:16,129
Hilarious, right?
578
00:22:16,147 --> 00:22:18,765
Not really, when you
put it that way.
579
00:22:18,799 --> 00:22:20,767
Might I recommend,
next time,
580
00:22:20,801 --> 00:22:22,635
watching with
the volume turned off?
581
00:22:22,653 --> 00:22:24,321
The absence of
the cartoon sound effects
582
00:22:24,355 --> 00:22:26,639
makes it much more violent.
583
00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:36,700
Yeah, I know
Morgan Donnelly.
584
00:22:36,751 --> 00:22:38,835
Uh, you going to order
a drink, or what?
585
00:22:38,870 --> 00:22:40,120
Yeah, we'll have some water.
586
00:22:40,154 --> 00:22:42,038
Must be tough on
a guy like you, huh?
587
00:22:42,089 --> 00:22:43,957
Serving drinks,
588
00:22:43,991 --> 00:22:46,209
has to watch other comedians
on stage do their thing...
589
00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:48,211
Are you kidding?
590
00:22:48,262 --> 00:22:51,514
That's like telling a Jew
he doesn't want to be in Mecca.
591
00:22:51,549 --> 00:22:54,217
In point of fact, Mecca is
the center of the Muslim world.
592
00:22:54,268 --> 00:22:55,969
It would be
completely rational
593
00:22:56,003 --> 00:22:57,387
for a Jew to avoid Mecca.
594
00:22:57,438 --> 00:22:59,439
Especially during hajj.
595
00:22:59,473 --> 00:23:00,523
Yeah, I'm fine.
596
00:23:00,558 --> 00:23:01,608
So... okay?
597
00:23:01,642 --> 00:23:03,393
Morgan Donnelly's dead.
598
00:23:03,444 --> 00:23:04,945
Yeah, I heard that.
599
00:23:04,979 --> 00:23:06,179
It's terrible.
600
00:23:06,197 --> 00:23:07,680
Is it true that
he oe told you,
601
00:23:07,698 --> 00:23:09,515
in front of a crowd,
602
00:23:09,533 --> 00:23:11,151
that if he wanted to hear from
an ass, he would have farted?
603
00:23:15,990 --> 00:23:17,123
Yeah.
604
00:23:17,158 --> 00:23:18,158
He did say that.
605
00:23:18,192 --> 00:23:20,526
He got a huge laugh, too.
606
00:23:20,544 --> 00:23:21,962
We have proof that
he humiliated you
607
00:23:21,996 --> 00:23:23,397
at least 20 times
in front of audiences.
608
00:23:23,422 --> 00:23:24,214
What?
609
00:23:24,215 --> 00:23:25,999
Oh...
610
00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:27,217
I get it.
611
00:23:27,251 --> 00:23:28,885
No, that wasn't a joke.
612
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,203
I know it wasn't a joke.
613
00:23:30,221 --> 00:23:32,155
I know what is a joke
and what isn't a joke.
614
00:23:32,189 --> 00:23:33,256
I'm not sure you do.
615
00:23:33,307 --> 00:23:34,257
Now, don't
heckle him, Bones.
616
00:23:34,308 --> 00:23:35,258
He might want
to kill you next.
617
00:23:35,309 --> 00:23:37,427
Oh, you got it
all wrong.
618
00:23:37,478 --> 00:23:39,879
Look, me and Morgan...
619
00:23:39,897 --> 00:23:41,011
it was a setup.
620
00:23:41,036 --> 00:23:42,212
Setup? He wanted you
to heckle him?
621
00:23:42,312 --> 00:23:43,650
Definitely!
622
00:23:43,651 --> 00:23:44,768
Definitely.
623
00:23:44,819 --> 00:23:46,519
All those lines
that he used on me?
624
00:23:46,553 --> 00:23:48,405
You know, like the fart one?
625
00:23:48,439 --> 00:23:50,407
Or he's say, um...
626
00:23:50,441 --> 00:23:52,826
"There's an alcoholic who
should stay anonymous."
627
00:23:54,195 --> 00:23:55,662
I wrote all those.
628
00:23:55,696 --> 00:23:57,113
Why?
629
00:23:57,164 --> 00:23:59,232
It was my way of,
uh, getting laughs.
630
00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:02,402
it made the audience
like Morgan, you know,
631
00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:04,087
so it's a... it's
a win-win situation.
632
00:24:04,121 --> 00:24:05,789
Right. Well, thanks
for your cooperation.
633
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:06,790
Come on.
634
00:24:06,841 --> 00:24:08,458
Booth.
635
00:24:08,509 --> 00:24:10,427
Yeah?
The man in this flyer
636
00:24:10,461 --> 00:24:12,212
has a fake arrow
through his head.
637
00:24:12,246 --> 00:24:13,746
Oh. Yeah.
638
00:24:13,764 --> 00:24:14,965
That's Rex.
639
00:24:15,016 --> 00:24:16,466
And let me tell you,
640
00:24:16,517 --> 00:24:18,018
now that Donnelly is gone,
641
00:24:18,052 --> 00:24:21,087
he's gonna get the
Friday night slot, so...
642
00:24:21,105 --> 00:24:22,439
that's got to make you
suspicious, right?
643
00:24:22,473 --> 00:24:24,724
You comedians really
stick together, huh?
644
00:24:25,559 --> 00:24:27,477
This could very well be
the murder weapon.
645
00:24:27,528 --> 00:24:28,594
Where's Rex now?
646
00:24:28,612 --> 00:24:30,230
Uh, he's warming up.
647
00:24:32,817 --> 00:24:35,068
Where's your arrow
through the head?
648
00:24:35,102 --> 00:24:36,453
Somebody stole it.
649
00:24:36,487 --> 00:24:39,289
I never thought to report it
directly to the FBI.
650
00:24:39,323 --> 00:24:41,041
Who stole it?
Could've been anyone.
651
00:24:41,075 --> 00:24:42,442
That bit is classic.
652
00:24:42,460 --> 00:24:43,576
I think...
I think so, too.
653
00:24:43,610 --> 00:24:45,278
It is funny.
654
00:24:45,296 --> 00:24:47,580
But my prime suspect:
a so-called comic,
655
00:24:47,614 --> 00:24:49,449
so-called Morgan Donnelly.
656
00:24:49,467 --> 00:24:51,468
Okay, why do you think
he stole it?
657
00:24:51,502 --> 00:24:53,837
Guy's a natural thief--
props, jokes, women.
658
00:24:53,888 --> 00:24:55,338
He steals it all.
659
00:24:55,389 --> 00:24:56,389
He's dead.
660
00:24:56,424 --> 00:24:57,424
Murdered.
661
00:24:57,458 --> 00:25:00,477
Sorry to say,
that was bound to happen.
662
00:25:00,511 --> 00:25:01,961
You really do
hate this guy, huh?
663
00:25:01,979 --> 00:25:04,797
Both personally
and professionally, yes.
664
00:25:04,815 --> 00:25:05,965
Whoa.
665
00:25:05,983 --> 00:25:08,968
Rex's mallet tested
positive for blood.
666
00:25:08,986 --> 00:25:10,303
Positive for what?
667
00:25:10,321 --> 00:25:11,471
Blood.
668
00:25:11,489 --> 00:25:13,356
Now, that's funny.
669
00:25:17,317 --> 00:25:18,735
Yes, I kissed him.
670
00:25:19,856 --> 00:25:21,306
Why?
671
00:25:21,357 --> 00:25:23,942
It wasn't a you-me kind of kiss.
672
00:25:23,976 --> 00:25:26,561
This was a musty
old auntie kiss.
673
00:25:26,595 --> 00:25:28,947
Yeah? Well, your musty
old auntie kiss
674
00:25:28,981 --> 00:25:30,615
is the best kiss
that kid ever got.
675
00:25:30,650 --> 00:25:32,784
Why are you being jealous?
Because
676
00:25:32,819 --> 00:25:34,102
he's... cool.
677
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,270
You know?
678
00:25:35,288 --> 00:25:36,955
And I'm... not.
679
00:25:36,989 --> 00:25:39,207
And, I don't know,
if you ever leave me,
680
00:25:39,242 --> 00:25:41,460
it's gonna be for
someone who's cool.
681
00:25:41,494 --> 00:25:45,780
"Cool" isn't really
a thing anymore.
682
00:25:45,798 --> 00:25:47,615
Thank you for
proving my point.
683
00:25:47,633 --> 00:25:51,336
You still haven't told me
why you kissed him.
684
00:25:51,387 --> 00:25:52,787
Yeah, I...
685
00:25:52,805 --> 00:25:55,924
I promised him I wasn't
gonna tell anybody, and...
686
00:25:55,958 --> 00:25:58,126
I will tell you, though,
687
00:25:58,144 --> 00:26:00,846
because you are
not just anybody.
688
00:26:01,764 --> 00:26:04,132
I kissed him because
689
00:26:04,150 --> 00:26:06,467
he's a great artist.
690
00:26:06,486 --> 00:26:09,771
And his art is
changing the world.
691
00:26:10,656 --> 00:26:13,474
He's Zed.
692
00:26:15,361 --> 00:26:16,945
Well, it's hard
to argue with that.
693
00:26:16,979 --> 00:26:19,314
You know what he said
about my work?
694
00:26:19,332 --> 00:26:22,200
He said that I have...
695
00:26:22,251 --> 00:26:24,319
"excellent technique."
696
00:26:24,337 --> 00:26:26,505
Well, that's great.
No.
697
00:26:26,539 --> 00:26:28,990
No, honey, it's not great.
698
00:26:29,008 --> 00:26:31,126
Well, "excellent"
usually means great.
699
00:26:33,763 --> 00:26:36,331
Brennan's got the murder weapon.
700
00:26:36,349 --> 00:26:38,383
Okay, listen, just...
701
00:26:38,434 --> 00:26:40,501
no more kissing
any artists,
702
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,470
or anyone else,
for that matter.
703
00:26:42,504 --> 00:26:44,222
Yeah? Are we good?
704
00:26:44,273 --> 00:26:46,641
Yes, honey, we are good.
705
00:26:46,675 --> 00:26:48,727
You know why?
706
00:26:48,778 --> 00:26:53,031
Because I have
excellent technique.
707
00:26:53,065 --> 00:26:56,651
Which is not good.
708
00:26:56,685 --> 00:26:58,820
Exactly.
709
00:27:02,575 --> 00:27:05,076
Ready?
710
00:27:05,127 --> 00:27:07,712
Just reinserting the last
few pieces of dentition.
711
00:27:07,747 --> 00:27:09,164
Speaking of which,
712
00:27:09,198 --> 00:27:11,550
I found some slivers
of tooth in some flesh
713
00:27:11,584 --> 00:27:13,335
that might have been a part
of the victim's stomach.
714
00:27:13,369 --> 00:27:15,554
Bashed in the teeth,
swallowed the fragments?
715
00:27:15,588 --> 00:27:17,472
Makes sense to me.
716
00:27:17,506 --> 00:27:18,590
So let's hear it.
717
00:27:18,641 --> 00:27:20,225
Excuse me?
718
00:27:20,259 --> 00:27:21,393
You're a comedian, right?
719
00:27:21,427 --> 00:27:22,477
Can I hear one of your jokes?
720
00:27:22,511 --> 00:27:24,763
Oh, I don't do jokes,
Dr. Saroyan.
721
00:27:24,814 --> 00:27:26,848
I do raw, unfiltered honesty.
722
00:27:26,882 --> 00:27:30,101
Let me hear some raw,
unfiltered honesty, then.
723
00:27:30,152 --> 00:27:32,487
As you wish.
724
00:27:32,521 --> 00:27:36,024
I am incapable of truly
loving another human being.
725
00:27:36,058 --> 00:27:39,194
For that reason,
I will never sire an heir.
726
00:27:39,228 --> 00:27:41,162
Okay.
727
00:27:41,197 --> 00:27:42,280
Well, then.
Uh-oh.
728
00:27:42,315 --> 00:27:44,282
We have a tad too much tooth.
729
00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:48,536
Are you still doing
your comedy here, or...?
730
00:27:48,570 --> 00:27:50,789
No. No, you literally have
too much tooth.
731
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,958
Hold the laughs.
732
00:27:53,009 --> 00:27:54,409
This is not tooth.
733
00:27:55,611 --> 00:27:57,712
I'm back to my day job now,
Dr. Saroyan.
734
00:27:57,746 --> 00:27:59,080
You don't have to laugh.
735
00:28:05,587 --> 00:28:07,222
- What's that?
- Visual aid.
736
00:28:07,256 --> 00:28:09,924
Joke one:
737
00:28:09,942 --> 00:28:11,977
"I love to brag about
how modest I am."
738
00:28:12,028 --> 00:28:13,311
That's not funny.
Mm-mm.
739
00:28:13,362 --> 00:28:15,647
But it is both self-centered
and self-deprecating.
740
00:28:15,698 --> 00:28:17,198
Joke number two:
741
00:28:17,233 --> 00:28:19,034
"I dated a 14-year-old once...
742
00:28:19,068 --> 00:28:21,102
but I was 14, too,
so it wasn't a big deal."
743
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:22,337
Okay, wait,
so you're saying
744
00:28:22,371 --> 00:28:24,139
that our victim
was a self-centered,
745
00:28:24,173 --> 00:28:26,141
self-deprecating child abuser?
No, no, no.
746
00:28:26,175 --> 00:28:27,776
I'm saying that
joke one and joke two
747
00:28:27,810 --> 00:28:29,644
weren't written by
the same person.
748
00:28:29,679 --> 00:28:31,463
How can you tell?
749
00:28:31,497 --> 00:28:32,797
Well, the notion of
taking a subject
750
00:28:32,832 --> 00:28:34,883
as disturbing as pedophilia,
turning it on its head,
751
00:28:34,917 --> 00:28:36,718
to create something
752
00:28:36,752 --> 00:28:38,336
as sweet and innocent
as young love
753
00:28:38,387 --> 00:28:41,089
tells me that this joke was
probably written by a woman.
754
00:28:41,123 --> 00:28:44,259
Hmm-mm. Mr. Cantaloupe said
our victim stole the jokes.
755
00:28:44,293 --> 00:28:45,058
I agree.
756
00:28:45,083 --> 00:28:46,645
Okay, how does
a comedian do that?
757
00:28:46,646 --> 00:28:48,897
Fisher says that
open mike nights
758
00:28:48,931 --> 00:28:50,265
are the best place to
steal fresh jokes.
759
00:28:50,299 --> 00:28:52,484
Okay? Now, Laughtastic's
has an open mike night.
760
00:28:52,518 --> 00:28:54,653
And Donnelly was a judge.
Great.
761
00:28:54,687 --> 00:28:56,154
I'll just go there and get
the information. Thanks.
762
00:28:56,188 --> 00:28:57,188
How?
763
00:28:57,239 --> 00:28:58,740
How? How I usually do it.
764
00:28:58,774 --> 00:29:00,575
I'll go there,
ask some questions with Bones,
765
00:29:00,609 --> 00:29:02,310
and she'll be on the lookout
for somebody with a limp,
766
00:29:02,328 --> 00:29:03,945
which means that they fell
in love with a 14-year-old
767
00:29:03,979 --> 00:29:05,113
and we go home.
768
00:29:05,147 --> 00:29:06,004
That's how.
769
00:29:06,029 --> 00:29:07,332
Fisher and I
have a better idea.
770
00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:09,484
Fisher again.
You go to the open mike night.
771
00:29:09,502 --> 00:29:12,287
You tell some of the jokes
I've marked as stolen.
772
00:29:12,321 --> 00:29:14,039
See if anyone gets mad.
773
00:29:14,090 --> 00:29:15,790
Why me?
Well, because...
774
00:29:15,824 --> 00:29:17,042
I have to keep an eye out
775
00:29:17,093 --> 00:29:18,376
for subtle reactions
from the audience,
776
00:29:18,427 --> 00:29:19,377
and Fisher's too well-known.
777
00:29:19,428 --> 00:29:21,046
He and I have written
778
00:29:21,097 --> 00:29:22,547
some original jokes for you.
779
00:29:22,598 --> 00:29:24,466
You pepper in some of
the stolen stuff,
780
00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:25,684
see if anyone
lays claim to them.
781
00:29:25,718 --> 00:29:27,774
You and Fisher wrote me
a comedy routine?
782
00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:28,887
Okay.
783
00:29:28,888 --> 00:29:32,057
The blue jokes I wrote,
all right?
784
00:29:32,108 --> 00:29:33,358
The yellow ones, stolen.
785
00:29:33,392 --> 00:29:35,360
The black ones...
Fisher.
786
00:29:35,394 --> 00:29:37,028
Yep. You have about
787
00:29:37,063 --> 00:29:38,346
a half an hour.
788
00:29:38,364 --> 00:29:40,515
What?
789
00:29:41,784 --> 00:29:44,285
"Is it just me,
or are circles pointless?"
790
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,437
What?
791
00:29:45,471 --> 00:29:48,289
Multiple radiating
fracture lines
792
00:29:48,324 --> 00:29:49,657
originating on the glabella,
793
00:29:49,691 --> 00:29:52,460
terminated by fracture lines
on the maxilla.
794
00:29:52,495 --> 00:29:54,412
Just as we suspected,
multiple blows.
795
00:29:54,463 --> 00:29:55,714
I come bearing
796
00:29:55,748 --> 00:29:57,048
bad news.
797
00:29:57,083 --> 00:29:58,299
The mallet was not
the murder weapon.
798
00:29:58,334 --> 00:30:00,301
Why was there blood all over it?
799
00:30:00,336 --> 00:30:01,486
False positive,
800
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,639
from the peroxidase enzyme
found in turnip juice.
801
00:30:04,673 --> 00:30:07,041
I hate to think how many turnips
this man bludgeoned to death.
802
00:30:08,227 --> 00:30:10,044
What about Dr. Saroyan's
fragments?
803
00:30:10,062 --> 00:30:11,045
Ceramic.
804
00:30:11,063 --> 00:30:12,280
Let's have Angela
805
00:30:12,314 --> 00:30:14,382
recreate the fracture pattern
on the Angelatron.
806
00:30:14,417 --> 00:30:17,068
Okay, I'll let her know.
807
00:30:18,187 --> 00:30:19,521
Okay!
808
00:30:19,555 --> 00:30:21,022
All right, uh,
let's give it up...
809
00:30:21,056 --> 00:30:22,723
Are you nervous?
I've had people try to kill me, Sweets.
810
00:30:22,742 --> 00:30:24,392
How could cracking jokes
make me nervous?
811
00:30:24,410 --> 00:30:27,579
Just remember to look relaxed,
as though you own the stage.
812
00:30:27,613 --> 00:30:28,947
Stop with the advice.
813
00:30:28,998 --> 00:30:30,064
Just, please?
Okay, Fisher's here.
814
00:30:30,082 --> 00:30:31,399
If it looks like
you're in trouble,
815
00:30:31,417 --> 00:30:32,567
he'll heckle you.
816
00:30:32,585 --> 00:30:33,901
Why are you making such
a big deal about this?
817
00:30:33,919 --> 00:30:35,286
Welcome to the stage
for the first time...
818
00:30:35,337 --> 00:30:36,904
Cee-Lo Booth!
819
00:30:39,074 --> 00:30:40,125
Seeley, not Cee-Lo.
820
00:30:40,176 --> 00:30:41,760
Hey, what do you want?
I went to public school.
821
00:30:41,794 --> 00:30:43,211
So...
822
00:30:44,263 --> 00:30:45,630
Good evening.
823
00:30:45,681 --> 00:30:47,799
Thanks for coming out tonight.
824
00:30:47,850 --> 00:30:51,252
You know who has
a lot of great ideas?
825
00:30:51,287 --> 00:30:52,220
Lamps.
826
00:30:52,254 --> 00:30:53,204
Ha!
827
00:30:56,809 --> 00:30:58,092
I hate my father.
828
00:30:58,110 --> 00:30:59,944
I mean, not for
what he's done to me,
829
00:30:59,979 --> 00:31:01,613
but for what he
hasn't done to me.
830
00:31:03,048 --> 00:31:05,766
Laugh. Laugh at the
emptiness of my pain.
831
00:31:05,785 --> 00:31:07,152
Is it just me, or
832
00:31:07,203 --> 00:31:08,653
are circles pointless?
833
00:31:08,704 --> 00:31:09,654
Oh!
834
00:31:11,207 --> 00:31:13,074
So far this act is pointless.
835
00:31:13,108 --> 00:31:15,543
All right, pal, you want to quit
shooting your mouth off
836
00:31:15,578 --> 00:31:16,944
before I shoot it off for you.
837
00:31:20,549 --> 00:31:21,800
Oh, my God,
Booth is funny.
838
00:31:21,834 --> 00:31:23,334
Almost funny.
839
00:31:23,385 --> 00:31:24,719
I once shot an unarmed man.
840
00:31:24,753 --> 00:31:26,921
I mean, sure, I shot off
both of his arms, but still.
841
00:31:29,675 --> 00:31:30,958
So I was at the trial,
842
00:31:30,976 --> 00:31:32,977
and the prosecutor says
to me on the stand,
843
00:31:33,012 --> 00:31:34,229
"Did you kill that man?"
844
00:31:34,263 --> 00:31:35,430
I said, "No."
845
00:31:35,464 --> 00:31:37,148
He says, "You know what
the penalty for perjury is?"
846
00:31:37,183 --> 00:31:38,683
I said, "Yeah, it's a lot less
than the penalty for murder."
847
00:31:41,187 --> 00:31:43,822
Why-why am I even here?
848
00:31:44,990 --> 00:31:46,274
Fine.
849
00:31:47,159 --> 00:31:48,443
So, uh...
850
00:31:48,477 --> 00:31:51,779
well, how about the guy
who invented tanning beds?
851
00:31:51,813 --> 00:31:53,081
I mean, the nerve!
852
00:31:53,115 --> 00:31:54,415
Who looks at the sun and says,
853
00:31:54,450 --> 00:31:56,117
"Hey, I can do better."
854
00:31:59,338 --> 00:32:02,624
I went to a cello recital
the other night.
855
00:32:02,658 --> 00:32:04,125
It was... it was a solo show.
856
00:32:04,159 --> 00:32:06,344
Meaning I was the only
person in the audience.
857
00:32:06,378 --> 00:32:08,847
Even I don't get that one.
858
00:32:08,881 --> 00:32:09,881
Nobody likes a cello.
859
00:32:09,932 --> 00:32:12,634
It's just a violin
with size issues,
860
00:32:12,668 --> 00:32:14,969
which is also a joke I wrote,
like the others that you stole.
861
00:32:15,003 --> 00:32:16,804
FBI, you're
coming with me.
862
00:32:22,895 --> 00:32:24,445
Annie Pinkus.
863
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,447
Right. So.
864
00:32:26,482 --> 00:32:28,233
Quite a coincidence that
you work at the same place
865
00:32:28,284 --> 00:32:29,450
as the murder victim.
866
00:32:29,485 --> 00:32:32,353
Two comedians, working
a telemarketing day job?
867
00:32:32,371 --> 00:32:34,706
Yeah. Bizarre coincidence there.
868
00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:36,207
Mm.
869
00:32:36,242 --> 00:32:37,858
Were you having an affair
with Morgan Donnelly?
870
00:32:37,877 --> 00:32:38,993
No.
871
00:32:39,027 --> 00:32:40,261
Why?
872
00:32:40,296 --> 00:32:41,579
It says here Donnelly's
girlfriend comes in
873
00:32:41,630 --> 00:32:43,197
ripping him a new one
about a third woman.
874
00:32:43,215 --> 00:32:45,199
Maybe you didn't know about
either one of them.
875
00:32:45,217 --> 00:32:47,051
Twice the jealousy,
twice the motive?
876
00:32:47,086 --> 00:32:48,419
Three times.
877
00:32:48,470 --> 00:32:49,704
See, he was stealing your jokes.
878
00:32:49,722 --> 00:32:50,871
He deserved to die.
879
00:32:50,890 --> 00:32:52,340
I was not sleeping with Morgan,
880
00:32:52,374 --> 00:32:54,392
and he was not
stealing my jokes.
881
00:32:54,426 --> 00:32:56,060
Well, I told a couple
of your jokes.
882
00:32:56,095 --> 00:32:57,262
You accused me of stealing.
883
00:32:57,313 --> 00:32:58,730
Yeah, Morgan bought my jokes.
884
00:32:58,764 --> 00:33:01,065
$25 a pop plus a piece
of the back end deal
885
00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:02,517
if he went on Letterman,
886
00:33:02,551 --> 00:33:03,818
HBO, you know, whatever.
887
00:33:03,852 --> 00:33:05,052
I could see why
888
00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:06,887
you didn't want to save
those jokes for yourself.
889
00:33:06,906 --> 00:33:07,906
I'm not funny.
890
00:33:07,940 --> 00:33:10,074
I write funny,
but I'm not funny.
891
00:33:10,109 --> 00:33:12,360
Some people are funny, like you.
892
00:33:12,394 --> 00:33:13,628
Others, like me,
893
00:33:13,662 --> 00:33:15,663
we do better off writing
for the funny people.
894
00:33:15,698 --> 00:33:17,031
So, you expect me
to believe
895
00:33:17,065 --> 00:33:19,784
that Morgan Donnelly's
death hurt your career.
896
00:33:19,835 --> 00:33:21,169
Hells yeah.
897
00:33:21,203 --> 00:33:24,038
He was about to move to
New York, do comedy full time.
898
00:33:24,072 --> 00:33:27,241
Is this the real deal
or was this just the pipe dream?
899
00:33:27,259 --> 00:33:28,793
For reals. He had bookings--
900
00:33:28,844 --> 00:33:30,094
TV shows, clubs.
901
00:33:30,129 --> 00:33:31,613
You can check it out.
902
00:33:31,647 --> 00:33:34,215
Look, what you think is a
motive for me to murder
903
00:33:34,249 --> 00:33:37,101
is actually the complete
opposite of a motive for murder.
904
00:33:37,136 --> 00:33:40,888
That's irony,
and it's definitely not funny.
905
00:33:40,922 --> 00:33:42,774
Capisce?
906
00:33:45,992 --> 00:33:49,044
So, after pulling out the postmortem
damage that was caused
907
00:33:49,476 --> 00:33:51,094
by Zalinsky's skull,
908
00:33:51,444 --> 00:33:53,195
I used the intersections
909
00:33:53,229 --> 00:33:55,063
of the radiating
fracture lines
910
00:33:55,081 --> 00:33:57,065
to determine that
the facial trauma
911
00:33:57,083 --> 00:34:00,118
was actually a result
of three separate blows.
912
00:34:00,405 --> 00:34:02,406
Here are the results
of the initial blow.
913
00:34:02,441 --> 00:34:04,158
It appears that the force
of this blow
914
00:34:04,192 --> 00:34:07,194
and the force of the blow that
broke the victim's metacarpals
915
00:34:07,245 --> 00:34:08,479
are nearly identical.
916
00:34:08,497 --> 00:34:11,265
The weapon is the same one
that broke his metacarpals.
917
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:12,550
Please bring up
918
00:34:12,584 --> 00:34:14,535
the results
of the second blow.
919
00:34:16,321 --> 00:34:17,588
Um,
920
00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:19,173
fracturing to
the dentition,
921
00:34:19,207 --> 00:34:20,824
mandible, maxilla,
922
00:34:20,842 --> 00:34:22,093
and zygomatic bones.
923
00:34:22,127 --> 00:34:23,210
The killer either
924
00:34:23,245 --> 00:34:26,013
picked up a larger weapon
to finish the job
925
00:34:26,048 --> 00:34:28,366
or he swung a lighter
weapon with greater force.
926
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,868
Well, here are the results
of the third blow.
927
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:35,139
Okay, I-I'm sorry.
928
00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:37,808
I know what this looks like
to you,
929
00:34:37,842 --> 00:34:41,562
but this entire sequence here,
I-it's The Three Stooges.
930
00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:42,813
It's classic comedy
931
00:34:42,848 --> 00:34:43,948
in three blows.
932
00:34:43,982 --> 00:34:46,233
I mean, the weapon
is gonna be a frying pan.
933
00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:50,687
This strike caused fragments
of the glabella
934
00:34:50,706 --> 00:34:51,989
to pierce the
victim's brain.
935
00:34:52,024 --> 00:34:53,374
Death blow.
936
00:34:53,408 --> 00:34:55,543
Which is not funny.
No, it's not.
937
00:34:55,577 --> 00:34:57,695
Based on the amorphous
wound pattern,
938
00:34:57,729 --> 00:35:01,465
the murder weapon is curved
upon its horizontal axis.
939
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:04,418
Curved, ceramic,
like a large vase?
940
00:35:04,469 --> 00:35:05,970
Angie, I just sent you
941
00:35:06,004 --> 00:35:09,056
the results of the core sample I
took from the shard of ceramic.
942
00:35:09,091 --> 00:35:10,424
Was it a vase?
943
00:35:10,475 --> 00:35:12,226
Not unless it was a
vase full of urine.
944
00:35:12,260 --> 00:35:14,211
It's a toilet?
Ding-ding-ding.
945
00:35:14,229 --> 00:35:15,763
And the prize goes
to the little lady
946
00:35:15,814 --> 00:35:17,431
wearing the blue lab coat.
947
00:35:17,482 --> 00:35:19,100
Sorry, yeah,
948
00:35:19,151 --> 00:35:20,568
I-I got excited.
949
00:35:20,602 --> 00:35:22,653
So, his head was smashed
into a toilet?
950
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:24,989
Classic.
951
00:35:25,023 --> 00:35:26,723
The first blow occurred
952
00:35:26,742 --> 00:35:30,227
when the victim had his hand
on the edge of the toilet.
953
00:35:30,245 --> 00:35:32,079
His face was smashed
into his hand.
954
00:35:32,114 --> 00:35:34,565
Comedian was killed
by a brutal swirly?
955
00:35:34,583 --> 00:35:36,200
So, he was draped
over the toilet,
956
00:35:36,234 --> 00:35:37,568
puking, when he was killed.
957
00:35:39,955 --> 00:35:42,456
I'm... swirly.
958
00:35:45,656 --> 00:35:49,141
So, how many toilets are
there in the Metro D.C. area?
959
00:35:49,159 --> 00:35:51,861
Oh, uh, approximately
five and a half million.
960
00:35:51,912 --> 00:35:53,312
How is that you know that?
961
00:35:53,330 --> 00:35:54,864
There is approximately
one toilet per person
962
00:35:54,915 --> 00:35:56,082
in the United States of America.
963
00:35:56,116 --> 00:35:58,701
Do you want me to figure out
how much time it would take
964
00:35:58,752 --> 00:35:59,702
to inspect each toilet?
965
00:35:59,753 --> 00:36:00,920
No, we don't have to do that.
966
00:36:00,954 --> 00:36:02,088
Why not?
Why?
967
00:36:02,122 --> 00:36:03,539
I'll just get,
you know, a warrant
968
00:36:03,590 --> 00:36:05,458
for all the toilets
that the victim
969
00:36:05,492 --> 00:36:08,628
used regularly, and
we'll start with that.
970
00:36:08,662 --> 00:36:11,764
And when I say "we,"
I mean Hodgins.
971
00:36:11,799 --> 00:36:14,333
One million, two hundred and
fifty thousand man-hours.
972
00:36:14,351 --> 00:36:15,802
W-What?
973
00:36:15,836 --> 00:36:18,671
That's how long it would take to
check out every toilet in D.C.
974
00:36:18,689 --> 00:36:20,673
Once you start with the math,
you don't stop, right?
975
00:36:20,691 --> 00:36:22,174
I think everyone's
like that, don't you?
976
00:36:22,192 --> 00:36:23,643
Yeah, I think so, definitely.
Go math!
977
00:36:23,677 --> 00:36:25,611
Math people forever, right?
978
00:36:25,646 --> 00:36:27,914
♪
979
00:36:30,484 --> 00:36:32,485
♪ We got to go, got to go
980
00:36:32,519 --> 00:36:34,687
♪ To the party
981
00:36:34,705 --> 00:36:37,490
♪ Got to go, got to go
982
00:36:37,524 --> 00:36:39,125
♪ To the hotel
983
00:36:39,159 --> 00:36:41,794
♪ We got to go, got to go
984
00:36:41,829 --> 00:36:43,529
♪ Yeah, come on, that's right
♪ To the party
985
00:36:43,547 --> 00:36:44,747
♪ Come on, yeah
986
00:36:44,798 --> 00:36:46,416
♪ Got to go, got to go
987
00:36:46,467 --> 00:36:48,468
♪ To the hotel
988
00:36:48,502 --> 00:36:51,688
♪
989
00:36:53,540 --> 00:36:56,175
♪ That's right
990
00:36:58,045 --> 00:37:00,012
♪ There's gonna be
some people there ♪
991
00:37:08,906 --> 00:37:10,857
♪ We got to go, got to go
992
00:37:10,891 --> 00:37:11,991
♪ Where we gonna go?
993
00:37:12,025 --> 00:37:14,059
♪ To the party
♪ Oh, that's right
994
00:37:14,078 --> 00:37:15,528
♪ We got to go, got to go
995
00:37:15,562 --> 00:37:17,563
♪ Where we
gonna-gonna-gonna go? ♪
996
00:37:17,581 --> 00:37:19,031
♪ Oh, boy, come on
997
00:37:19,065 --> 00:37:20,566
♪ We got to go, got to go
998
00:37:20,584 --> 00:37:21,617
♪ Where we gonna go?
999
00:37:21,668 --> 00:37:23,536
♪ To the party
♪ All right then
1000
00:37:23,570 --> 00:37:25,455
♪ We got to go, got to go
1001
00:37:25,506 --> 00:37:26,622
♪ Where we gonna go?
1002
00:37:26,673 --> 00:37:27,874
♪ To the hotel
1003
00:37:27,908 --> 00:37:30,176
♪ Let's hear it then,
come on. ♪
1004
00:37:30,210 --> 00:37:33,129
Tell us about the last time
you saw Morgan Donnelly.
1005
00:37:33,180 --> 00:37:34,680
I already told
the other young man.
1006
00:37:34,715 --> 00:37:36,883
I made him dinner here.
1007
00:37:36,917 --> 00:37:38,751
What did you make?
1008
00:37:38,769 --> 00:37:39,852
Beef stroganoff.
1009
00:37:39,887 --> 00:37:42,221
Salad, ice cream.
1010
00:37:42,255 --> 00:37:44,607
Did you feel
well afterwards?
1011
00:37:44,641 --> 00:37:46,859
Yes, I went to work.
1012
00:37:46,894 --> 00:37:48,093
I was fine.
1013
00:37:48,112 --> 00:37:49,612
The FBI checked out my alibi.
1014
00:37:49,646 --> 00:37:51,197
You already know.
Was Morgan
1015
00:37:51,231 --> 00:37:52,562
feeling all right
when you left the house?
1016
00:37:52,587 --> 00:37:53,766
He was fine.
1017
00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:55,935
He and Elliot were gonna watch
some soccer game
1018
00:37:55,953 --> 00:37:57,120
and write jokes about it.
1019
00:37:57,154 --> 00:37:58,287
Did your brother mention
1020
00:37:58,322 --> 00:38:00,540
feeling sick the next morning?
1021
00:38:00,574 --> 00:38:02,458
Why? Do you think
my cooking killed Morgan?
1022
00:38:02,493 --> 00:38:05,328
We have evidence that Morgan
became ill that night.
1023
00:38:05,379 --> 00:38:06,829
It's very likely
that he died
1024
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,048
while vomiting into your toilet.
1025
00:38:09,082 --> 00:38:12,919
Oh, my God, do you really think
that I poisoned Morgan to death?
1026
00:38:12,953 --> 00:38:15,805
No. Morgan Donnelly died
by someone smashing his head
1027
00:38:15,839 --> 00:38:18,307
into the toilet bowl.
1028
00:38:21,562 --> 00:38:23,679
I want a lawyer.
1029
00:38:24,932 --> 00:38:28,201
And I want one for my brother.
1030
00:38:33,139 --> 00:38:35,274
Morgan was moving to New York.
1031
00:38:35,308 --> 00:38:37,910
That's not true.
1032
00:38:37,945 --> 00:38:39,645
What made him vomit?
1033
00:38:39,663 --> 00:38:42,365
He was drinking a lot, you know,
to work up the courage.
1034
00:38:42,416 --> 00:38:43,666
Courage for what?
1035
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:46,853
Tell my sister he was going
to dump her and take off.
1036
00:38:46,887 --> 00:38:48,754
You didn't know any of this?
1037
00:38:48,789 --> 00:38:51,624
So, it was a matter of
defending your sister's honor?
1038
00:38:51,658 --> 00:38:52,792
Not only.
1039
00:38:52,826 --> 00:38:55,494
I did all that work
with Morgan and taped him.
1040
00:38:55,512 --> 00:38:57,597
He was supposed to helping me
put my own act together,
1041
00:38:57,631 --> 00:38:58,831
but he wasn't gonna.
1042
00:38:58,849 --> 00:39:02,268
He said something like,
a comic has to be tough,
1043
00:39:02,302 --> 00:39:04,220
make tough calls,
1044
00:39:04,271 --> 00:39:07,006
and leave behind people
he'd outgrown.
1045
00:39:07,024 --> 00:39:09,174
He's sitting there
telling me all this stuff
1046
00:39:09,193 --> 00:39:11,861
with a stupid arrow
in his head.
1047
00:39:11,895 --> 00:39:14,363
I got mad and...
1048
00:39:14,398 --> 00:39:17,700
Poor Elliot.
1049
00:39:17,734 --> 00:39:19,735
I...
1050
00:39:19,786 --> 00:39:23,022
did what I did.
1051
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,742
Then I wrapped him up
in a shower curtain,
1052
00:39:26,793 --> 00:39:28,744
drove him out
to that woodsy area
1053
00:39:28,795 --> 00:39:30,763
under the billboard.
1054
00:39:30,797 --> 00:39:33,049
Came back,
1055
00:39:33,083 --> 00:39:35,251
cleaned up the bathroom,
1056
00:39:35,302 --> 00:39:38,421
put the shower curtain
back up and...
1057
00:40:11,705 --> 00:40:13,956
Okay, he's here,
he's here, he's here.
1058
00:40:16,543 --> 00:40:18,243
What if he hates it?
1059
00:40:18,262 --> 00:40:20,412
Angela, it's okay.
1060
00:40:25,218 --> 00:40:28,137
He's leaving.
1061
00:40:31,525 --> 00:40:33,259
Forget it.
1062
00:40:34,778 --> 00:40:36,929
Okay.
1063
00:40:40,450 --> 00:40:42,285
Hey!
1064
00:40:43,620 --> 00:40:44,453
Zed!
1065
00:40:44,488 --> 00:40:46,539
Zed!
1066
00:40:46,573 --> 00:40:49,792
Man, shut up, okay?
1067
00:40:49,826 --> 00:40:51,460
Do married people
1068
00:40:51,495 --> 00:40:53,112
tell each other everything?
1069
00:40:53,130 --> 00:40:54,580
Why didn't you
paint something?
1070
00:40:54,614 --> 00:40:56,299
Somebody beat me
to it, man.
1071
00:40:56,333 --> 00:40:59,785
I got nothing
better to say than she did.
1072
00:40:59,803 --> 00:41:02,171
You mean, you-you like it?
1073
00:41:02,222 --> 00:41:04,674
I love it.
1074
00:41:06,426 --> 00:41:08,344
But your technique blows.
1075
00:41:11,348 --> 00:41:13,465
Hey, you can't you talk to her...
Hodgins...
1076
00:41:15,068 --> 00:41:17,153
...it was a compliment.
1077
00:41:30,984 --> 00:41:33,836
Sweets told me that you were
really funny at the comedy club.
1078
00:41:33,870 --> 00:41:35,838
Oh, he wrote me some jokes.
1079
00:41:35,872 --> 00:41:39,291
No, he said that you bombed
when you told his jokes,
1080
00:41:39,325 --> 00:41:41,627
but that the audience
laughed when you got mad.
1081
00:41:41,661 --> 00:41:42,928
Wait a second, all right.
1082
00:41:42,963 --> 00:41:45,181
You're the one who said
that comedy comes out of anger.
1083
00:41:45,215 --> 00:41:46,331
I have been
1084
00:41:46,350 --> 00:41:48,217
a very good influence
on the sophistication
1085
00:41:48,268 --> 00:41:49,969
of your thinking.
1086
00:41:50,003 --> 00:41:52,838
I'm a very sophisticated man.
1087
00:41:52,856 --> 00:41:55,391
Laughter can also
be made to make
1088
00:41:55,442 --> 00:41:57,176
people helpless
and vulnerable.
1089
00:41:57,194 --> 00:41:58,361
Perhaps that's why
1090
00:41:58,395 --> 00:42:00,363
some comics say,
"I killed tonight."
1091
00:42:00,397 --> 00:42:01,530
Or, "I slaughtered them."
1092
00:42:01,565 --> 00:42:03,115
Side-splitting.
Yes.
1093
00:42:03,150 --> 00:42:04,900
Exactly,
humor is a kind of viol...
1094
00:42:04,951 --> 00:42:06,869
Oh, my God. Don't move.
1095
00:42:06,903 --> 00:42:07,870
You have an arrow in your head.
1096
00:42:07,904 --> 00:42:08,988
No, Bones, it's a joke.
1097
00:42:09,022 --> 00:42:11,290
I'm sorry. It was just...
1098
00:42:11,324 --> 00:42:14,994
You tried to scare me,
1099
00:42:15,028 --> 00:42:16,796
but I scared you
right back.
1100
00:42:16,830 --> 00:42:18,214
That is funny.
1101
00:42:18,248 --> 00:42:19,882
I was trying
to make you laugh, okay?
1102
00:42:19,916 --> 00:42:22,084
And then you scared me.
All right, that's not funny.
1103
00:42:22,135 --> 00:42:23,386
You and Sweets,
you're not funny.
1104
00:42:23,420 --> 00:42:24,804
Wh... Really?
1105
00:42:24,838 --> 00:42:26,756
Well, will you tell me
one of Sweets' jokes?
1106
00:42:26,807 --> 00:42:28,040
Okay, fine.
1107
00:42:28,058 --> 00:42:29,809
You know who's good ideas?
1108
00:42:29,843 --> 00:42:31,877
Who?
Lamps.
1109
00:42:34,564 --> 00:42:36,766
Lamps... yes.
1110
00:42:36,817 --> 00:42:38,417
Yes, yes,
1111
00:42:38,452 --> 00:42:40,403
lamps have good ideas
1112
00:42:40,437 --> 00:42:42,154
because they lightbulbs
going on.
1113
00:42:42,189 --> 00:42:44,240
That's not funny.
1114
00:42:44,274 --> 00:42:46,909
That's really...
it's really funny, Booth.
1115
00:42:46,943 --> 00:42:48,194
One more, tell me another.
1116
00:42:48,228 --> 00:42:50,729
Okay, fine, is it just me
or are circle pointless?
1117
00:42:52,332 --> 00:42:54,166
Sweets is a genius.
1118
00:42:54,201 --> 00:42:55,451
Circles are pointless
1119
00:42:55,502 --> 00:42:58,037
because they are round.
1120
00:42:58,071 --> 00:42:59,038
Get it?
1121
00:42:59,072 --> 00:43:00,556
One more, Booth.
1122
00:43:00,590 --> 00:43:02,908
Pointless.
1123
00:43:04,825 --> 00:43:06,089
Booth?
1124
00:43:06,186 --> 00:43:07,555
Booth?
1125
00:43:08,242 --> 00:43:09,849
Booth? Booth?
1126
00:43:09,949 --> 00:43:14,949
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
1127
00:43:16,545 --> 00:43:18,079
What's that mean?