1 00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:18,341 OLDER TED: So, kids, would you like to hear the story of the time I went deaf? 2 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:21,379 - Why does he even ask? - I know, he's just gonna tell us anyway. 3 00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,649 I sure am. It all began 4 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,123 when Robin strolled into the bar and said... 5 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,194 - Say you're my bitch. - I'm your bitch. 6 00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:29,522 Why this time? 7 00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:33,995 Because tonight, I am getting us all into Okay. 8 00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:36,034 Okay? Awesome! 9 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,237 What's going on? Did I just have a stroke? 10 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,103 Okay is the name of a club. 11 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,299 Yeah, it's supposed to be incredibly exclusive. 12 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:45,206 This friend of mine once waited outside for two hours, couldn't get in. 13 00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:47,302 A friend of yours named you? 14 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:50,008 No, a friend of mine named, shut up! 15 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,207 Yeah, well, the owner goes to my gym. 16 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:55,481 It turns out that he is a fan of my reporting for Metro News 1. 17 00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:58,785 - So now I'm on the list for tonight. - Nice going, Scherbatsky. 18 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,827 You're becoming a long-and-difficult- to-spell household name. 19 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,893 He's even getting me into the VIP room. 20 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:07,433 Yeah, he just wants to show you his own VIP, if you know what I mean. 21 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:11,899 All right, what does VIP stand for in your little universe? 22 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,131 Well, I know that the P is Penis. 23 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,703 Right, so you guys are in. Should I invite Marshall and Lily? 24 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,781 OLDER TED; Why was this funny? I'll explain, 25 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:24,610 You see, Lily was a kindergarten teacher, 26 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,445 And so, one fateful naptime... 27 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:30,284 Austin and I spent Saturday night at the most charming 28 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,984 little bed and breakfast. It was so nice. 29 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,726 What did you do this weekend? 30 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:38,453 - Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! - Chug! Come on! Chug! Chug! 31 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:42,160 - Ten seconds! - Suck it, losers! 32 00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:43,369 (BELCHING) 33 00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:47,596 You know, quiet time with the fiancé. 34 00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:51,669 I don't know, I just felt embarrassed. 35 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:56,248 Claire's my age, and she and her husband do all this classy grown-up stuff. 36 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:59,381 Maybe we should start doing some grown-up stuff. 37 00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,982 That's some pretty grown-up stuff we did this morning. 38 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:05,615 Yeah, but it wasn't classy. 39 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,159 Maybe we should have a winetasting party. 40 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,729 I like wine. I like tasting. 41 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,658 You know I can party. Let's do it. Let's rock it. Maturity style! 42 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:18,766 And ever since then, she's been signing him up for book clubs, 43 00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:21,305 - cooking classes. - All the things you do when you know 44 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:23,671 where your next thousand lays are coming from. 45 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:26,145 So, no, Lily and Marshall will not be joining us. 46 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,076 Got it. Anyway, Ted, part two of my story. 47 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,706 My friend Kelly's gonna be there. 48 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,275 - Kelly, who supposedly I'm gonna love. - Oh, you are gonna love Kelly. 49 00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,981 She's fun, she's smart, she lives in the moment. 50 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:40,685 Translation: She's ugly, she's ugly, she ugs in the ugly. 51 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,762 - Oh, and she's totally hot. - Okay. 52 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:46,127 I guess I could take her off your hands for an evening. 53 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,666 So, do you have any other hot single friends? 54 00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:50,759 No. Kelly works in... 55 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,507 - Oh, no, Ted! Your blazer. - What? What? What? 56 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,338 Somebody spilled gorgeous all over it. Love it. 57 00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,604 Thank you. 58 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,314 And his hair was perfect. 59 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:05,117 Hey, we're wearing the same shirt. 60 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:08,483 Oh, wait, no, that's just my shirt reflected in yours. 61 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:11,585 One of the 24 similarities between girls and fish 62 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,091 is that they're both attracted to shiny objects. 63 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:16,319 You really never read my blog, do you? 64 00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,491 All right, Tin Man. Let's hit it. 65 00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:21,294 All right, well, have fun at your little disco, guys. 66 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,664 - What the hell happened to these two? - Marshall and I are just growing up. 67 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,363 Yeah, it's gonna be sweet, too. 68 00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:28,463 Like tonight, we're tasting all these different wines, 69 00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:31,009 pairing them up with these cool gourmet cheeses. 70 00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:33,212 Wow! 71 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,508 Who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship 72 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,446 could make a guy so gay. 73 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,651 All right, cool kids are leaving now. 74 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,781 Grandma, Grandpa, don't wait up. 75 00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:51,553 (HOUSE MUSIC PLAYING) 76 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,869 My, oh, my! There are some ferocious looking cutlets here tonight. 77 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,106 All right. Hook-up strategy: 78 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,902 Find a cutlet, lock her in early, 79 00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:07,741 grind with her all night till she's mine. 80 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,643 These strategies ever work for you? 81 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,844 The question is, do these strategies ever not work for me? 82 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,445 Either way, the answer's about half the time. 83 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,685 My bitches! Check this out. 84 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:23,323 They're with me. 85 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,225 We're her bitches, too. 86 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,665 We'll wait here. 87 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,437 And with today's interest rate climate, 88 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,771 you gotta go for the 30-year fixed mortgage. 89 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,105 - Oh, totally. - Yeah. 90 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,336 So, Marshall, what about you? 91 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,210 You guys thinking house, baby? 92 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,476 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 93 00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:47,618 No, I think we're gonna wait on the baby thing. 94 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,279 I mean, I love babies. Babies rule. 95 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:54,387 Pudgy arms and stuff. But they make you old. 96 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:57,758 Kind of like this anchor weighing you down to one spot. 97 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,090 Forever. 98 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,390 I'm three months pregnant. 99 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,835 Not awkward, guys. 100 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,799 Not awkward unless we let it be awkward. 101 00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:15,111 - This place seems great. - Yeah. 102 00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:17,341 - Is Kelly here? - Yeah, she's around somewhere. 103 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,207 Let's go find her. I'll introduce you guys. 104 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,117 Then I should probably duck into the VIP room. 105 00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,151 It's so stupid and arbitrary, isn't it? 106 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:27,351 - Who gets to be a VIP and who doesn't. - Can we come? 107 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,553 It's not that arbitrary. 108 00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:34,832 - Whoa, this place is loud. - You think? 109 00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,260 (LOUD TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) 110 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,496 (INAUDIBLE) 111 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:26,449 Think it was kind of weird that Ted didn't invite me out with him? 112 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:29,180 Why? You'd rather be out at some dance club? 113 00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:31,552 All noisy and sweaty with the... 114 00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,215 (IMITATING TECHNO MUSIC) 115 00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:34,887 Is that what you want? 116 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:40,492 Is this what you want? "30-year fixed mortgage." 117 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,798 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) "I'm three months pregnant." 118 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,705 That was awkward. 119 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,940 - Let's start drinking. - (CHUCKLING) Not so fast. 120 00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:58,607 In order for the tannins to mellow, 121 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,845 we should let it breathe for about 30 minutes. 122 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,584 Freaking tannins. 123 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:34,942 Okay. 124 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,452 You know what they're doing in there right now? 125 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,684 They're watching Claire's ultrasound video. 126 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,091 And I swear to God, even the baby looks bored. 127 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:45,588 Come on. It's not that bad. 128 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,400 We're really starting to click with these guys. 129 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,496 Claire and Austin just invited us to their fondue fest 130 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:52,832 next Saturday night. 131 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,703 Are you honestly trying to get me excited about fondue? 132 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,800 It's dipping stuff in hot cheese. What's not to love? 133 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,543 Okay, that does sound good. 134 00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:07,045 But it's dipping stuff in hot cheese with boring people. 135 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,785 Marshall, it's time for us to grow up. 136 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,450 Marshall knew she was right, 137 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,789 He had to stop acting like a kid, 138 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:17,995 But not tonight, 139 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,793 Now, our apartment was on the third floor, 140 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,768 So I'm not sure if this part is actually true, 141 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,839 But Uncle Marshall swears it happened, 142 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,140 Taxi! 143 00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:21,054 The new album is great. It's all smooth and polished. 144 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,718 Not all dark and heavy like the early stuff. 145 00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:26,195 Oh, yeah. Norah Jones just gets better and better. 146 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,831 Please tell me we can drink the wine now. 147 00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:33,132 Five more minutes. We don't wanna rush those tannins. 148 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:35,731 Freaking tannins. 149 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,734 I'm wetting my pants! 150 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,269 (MUSIC STOPS) 151 00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:06,932 (MUSIC RESTARTS) 152 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,504 No, no, I was just saying that... 153 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,737 I think that's when I realized, clubs weren't awesome, 154 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:16,611 Clubs weren't even okay, Clubs sucked, 155 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,349 I had to get out of there, 156 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,921 - Hey, Robin! - Hey! 157 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,614 - Why aren't you inside? - I'm calling the owner. 158 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,659 There's a guy in there who won't let me into the stupid VIP room. 159 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,057 What are you doing here? 160 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,629 Oh, I have this move. So I came here to bust it. 161 00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,397 Can you get me in? 162 00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:38,131 Great, voicemail. 163 00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:39,829 - Thanks, I'll see you. - Bye. 164 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,839 Oh, come on! He just got here. 165 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,501 - He's probably famous. - Oh, yeah. 166 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,578 Isn't there a third Affleck brother? 167 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,307 Keith Affleck or Brian Affleck or something? 168 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:52,646 Holy crap! We just saw Brian Affleck. 169 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:57,046 And, it's not like I care so much about getting into the VIP room. 170 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:01,559 I have been in tons of VIP rooms. Not exactly a VIP room virgin. 171 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,495 But seriously, call me back. 172 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:10,125 Oh, I was just in there. Robin Scherbatsky. I'm on the list. 173 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,863 Name's already crossed off. Sorry. 174 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:17,141 But I'm Robin Scherbatsky. I'm a reporter for Channel 1. 175 00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,977 There's a Channel 1? Back of the line. 176 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,079 Should've snuck in with Brian Affleck. 177 00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:58,841 (EXCLAIMING) 178 00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:01,385 Coat wench, do not uncheck that man's jacket! 179 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,349 Sorry, I was just being dramatic. You're not a wench. 180 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:07,722 No, no, no, coat wench. I like it. I should get a sign made up. 181 00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,421 Wait. What are you doing here? Lily let you go? 182 00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,554 (SCOFFING) Lily? Who cares, right? 183 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,132 - You are so dead. - Oh, I'm so dead. 184 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,167 - Well, I'm going home. - No! 185 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:19,236 I put my ass and probably other parts of my body on the line 186 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,101 to come down here and party with my bro. 187 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,971 - Now damn it, we're gonna party. - All right. One beer. 188 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,341 Yes. Finally I don't have to wait a half an hour for a drink. 189 00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:31,975 Yeah! 190 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,109 No tannins! 191 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:37,049 Oh, man, I can't believe I forgot to tell you this, 192 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:38,589 This is important to the story, 193 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,921 Earlier that day, Marshall went to the dentist 194 00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:43,017 and got a temporary crown put in, 195 00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:44,492 Okay, so anyway... 196 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:51,894 What? 197 00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:54,394 C'mon, let's go! 198 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,532 I'm staying! 199 00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:57,939 What? 200 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,414 Marshall, are you okay? 201 00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:24,232 (PHONE RINGING) 202 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:33,641 OLDER TED: Again, I wasn't there, so I'm a little foggy on the details, 203 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:37,542 Taxi! 204 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,517 - Hey. - Hey. 205 00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:48,184 Marshall just ditched out on our own party. 206 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,285 Can you get me in there? I kind of need to kill him. 207 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:54,628 Actually, I can't even get myself in. I was such a dork. 208 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:58,726 I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. 209 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:02,339 I'm no VIP. I'm not even an IP. 210 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:06,377 I'm just a lowly little P sitting out here in the gutter. 211 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:08,541 You know something? 212 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:12,276 I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day. 213 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,154 There's Barney. 214 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,725 I'm leaving. 215 00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:28,125 Hey! 216 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:29,599 Broke my tooth! 217 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,995 Do you have any aspirin? 218 00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:38,607 Maybe there's a machine in the restroom. 219 00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:48,485 Now, to this day, I don't know what happened in there, 220 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,246 But when Marshall came out a few minutes later... 221 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,803 - Rough night? - Yeah. 222 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:09,698 These clubs are supposed to be fun, right? Why do I hate them so much? 223 00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:14,040 Because all of the stuff you're supposed to like, usually sucks. 224 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,215 Like these clubs. Or cruises. 225 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:21,949 - Or New Year's Eve. - Or the Super Bowl. 226 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,987 - Or parades. - The Rockettes. 227 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:28,082 - Or parades. - You said that already. 228 00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,991 - I really hate parades. - Okay. 229 00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:36,230 He just left in the middle of our own party. You don't do that. 230 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,331 Unless, of course, you're chasing after somebody 231 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,601 who's already done it, and then I think it's okay. 232 00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:46,705 Well, I hate to take his side. But, come on, a winetasting? 233 00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,406 What's the big plan for next Saturday? Scrabble night? 234 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:51,978 Don't check your email. 235 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,582 Why are you becoming this person? 236 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,282 I heard that in college you flashed a campus tour group on a dare. 237 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,826 Once on a dare. The other times were just for fun. 238 00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:05,363 I'm not in college anymore. 239 00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:10,195 I'd love to go back and be that person again, but you can't move backwards. 240 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,237 - You can only go forward. - False. 241 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,334 You can go wherever you want. 242 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,500 I guess, the question is, where do you want to go? 243 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:20,510 I want to go into this club and find my fiancé. 244 00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:25,215 - Well, that you can't do. - You wanna bet? 245 00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:27,746 Follow my lead. 246 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,611 Hey, big guy. 247 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,890 I said, follow my lead. 248 00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,057 - Yes, please, please. - Do it, do it. 249 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,653 - Follow her lead. - You have to. Follow it. 250 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:40,857 Please. 251 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:49,338 Those were the four greatest and only breasts I have ever seen. 252 00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:57,580 Yeah. See, if everyone keeps telling you something is supposed to be fun, 253 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:58,809 it's usually not. 254 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:00,009 - Right. - Right. 255 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,919 So by that logic, if you and I were to, say, go out on a date... 256 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:08,191 Well, then we couldn't go anywhere that's supposed to be fun. 257 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,420 Right. The DMV it is. 258 00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,064 - Then we'll get our teeth cleaned. - Sounds awful. It's a date. 259 00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,132 Okay. 260 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:18,567 But there's still one big question that needs to be answered. 261 00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:23,235 How many of these coats do you think I could put on all at once? 262 00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:30,011 I'll go this way, you go that way. 263 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,045 Okay. For the wedge. 264 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,792 Barney? 265 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,971 - Barney. - Ted. 266 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,141 - Get your coat, we're leaving. - What? 267 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:39,411 What happened to that cutlet you were grinding with? 268 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,416 - That was my cousin Leslie. - What? 269 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:46,082 No. No. No. We are not laughing about this, Ted. 270 00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:49,592 This is not gonna be some funny story that we'll be telling in a couple months. 271 00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:52,323 It's not going to be like, "Hey, remember that time 272 00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,797 "when you were grinding with..." No! 273 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:56,694 And you know why? 274 00:18:56,802 --> 00:19:00,636 Because, italics, this night did not happen. 275 00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:03,833 And you promise me that you will never, ever, ever tell 276 00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:06,308 another living soul what transpired here tonight. 277 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:09,437 - You promise. Promise. - All right, I promise. 278 00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:11,641 Let's get Marshall and go, okay? 279 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:15,409 Hey, thanks for saving my night. I'll talk to you soon? 280 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,247 - Hey, tip her, Barney. - Why? I didn't check a coat. 281 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,485 And even if I did, on principle tip jars have become so... 282 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,493 Funny story. Barney was grinding with this girl all night... 283 00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:24,857 Fine! 284 00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:26,888 Just... 285 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,900 That's a handy new trick. 286 00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:45,208 So Marshall and Lily rediscovered their youth, 287 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,679 It was nice, 288 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,512 And then it got... icky, 289 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,626 (YELLING) I'm really glad you guys came out tonight! 290 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,498 (YELLING) You know, dude, can I just say something? 291 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,509 It kind of hurt that you guys didn't invite me out. 292 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:16,277 I mean, I know things have changed since I got engaged, 293 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,508 but it would've been nice to be asked. 294 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:23,054 - I'm sorry! I assumed you had other plans. - They played some good songs tonight. 295 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:27,419 - I mean, lately... - I know, I know, it just, seems like 296 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:30,222 suddenly we're living in two different worlds. 297 00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,688 Maybe you've got more in common with Barney. 298 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:36,063 - What? - Are you crazy? 299 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,432 You think I like going to those clubs? 300 00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:41,700 I'd so much rather go to your fruity little winetasting. 301 00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,365 Oh, my God, I'm gonna barf! 302 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:46,876 Where's my purse, where's my... No, I'm okay. 303 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,349 The problem is you can't do any of that couple stuff 304 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,418 unless you have someone to do it with. 305 00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:56,043 And the only way I'm gonna find that someone is by going out 306 00:20:56,154 --> 00:20:58,987 - and doing stupid single stuff with Barney. - What? 307 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,926 But, man, when I find her 308 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,230 we're gonna have some bad-ass winetastings. 309 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:09,127 It's a plan. 310 00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:12,636 Hey, maybe it'll be that cute coat-check girl. 311 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:15,639 Yeah. Maybe it will be. 312 00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:17,068 It wasn't, 313 00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:22,344 You know, Ted. I don't say this nearly enough 314 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,507 - but I really value... - Hey, that place has great salads.