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OLDER TED; Kids, when it comes to love,
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the best relationships are the ones
that just come naturally,
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My first solo batch.
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I think those need to stay in the oven
awhile longer.
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Here's a professional tip.
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If it's still runny, it's not a cupcake.
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- It's a beverage.
- Yeah, well...
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Things with Victoria were fun, And easy,
And uncomplicated,
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No, no.
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It was pretty great,
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Are you coloring in your butt?
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I have a big interview coming up.
And my suit has holes in it.
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I can't sew. I don't own navy boxers.
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So, yeah, I'm coloring in my butt.
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- Just wear another one.
- I don't have another one.
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I'm flat broke. My only other suit options
are track or birthday.
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Dude, you show up to an interview in that,
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even the hippie lawyers
from Granola Mountain Earth Pals
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will hacky-sack you straight out the door.
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Okay, it's
the National Resource Defense Council
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and it's my dream job.
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Except it's only an internship
and I won't be getting paid.
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Mostly getting people coffee.
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But the people I'm getting coffee for,
their bosses are gonna save the world.
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Okay. Tomorrow... And I should mention
this is gonna rock your world.
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Tomorrow, I'm taking you
to my personal tailor.
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A tailor?
Barney, I make negative $300 a week
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and I need every negative penny of that
for my wedding.
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Relax. My guy does everything
for one-third the cost.
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And there is no way you're getting married
in that sarcastic-quotation-marks "suit."
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Tomorrow. Noon. My tailor.
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No thanks, dude.
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- Noon?
- Noon.
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- Okay.
- See you then.
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Hey, girls.
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Hey, girls.
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- Hey.
- Hey.
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Hey. I'm on my way to meet Ted.
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It's our two-month-iversary,
so we're going out to dinner.
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Great. Well, that answers
all the questions I didn't ask.
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Robin.
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Oh, come on. We bust on each other.
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We're just at that place
in our strong friendship.
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Really?
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Get off me.
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Oh, see? I did it again.
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(LAUGHING)
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What are you guys up to? Dress shopping.
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You know, I make wedding cakes
for a lot of fancy bridal shops.
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If you want, I could take you shopping.
Maybe get you a discount.
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- Really? That would be great.
- VICTORIA: Yeah.
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(CELLPHONE RINGING)
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I should take this. Bye. Hello?
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Hey? I thought it was gonna be
just us tomorrow.
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What's with inviting Punky Brewster?
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Robin. You've gotta get over
this Ted and Victoria thing.
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You had your chance, and now he's moved
on. Can't you just be happy for them?
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The best I can give you
is a fake smile and dead eyes.
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- Sold.
- Great.
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Victoria, what's wrong?
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I've just been offered a fellowship
at a culinary institute in Germany.
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- Wait. Germany, Europe?
- It's for two years.
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I figured I didn't have much of a chance,
'cause they don't let many Americans in,
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but I'm in.
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So, this is the Europe Germany?
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- Ted, what other Germany would it be?
- The one in Epcot?
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- Ted.
- Sorry.
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- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
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I don't know if I'm gonna go.
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And, if you do,
what does that mean for us?
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I don't know.
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I just... I don't think that
long-distance really works for anyone.
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Oh, God, no. Long-distance is a lie
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00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,915
teenagers tell each other
to get laid the summer before college.
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So that leaves us with...
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Either you stay here, or we break up.
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Wow.
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Look, let's just see how things progress
and if, by September, we still...
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I have to leave on Monday.
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- Monday, September the...
- Ted.
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Do you have any thoughts?
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00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:12,078
Maybe we should each take some time
to think about what we want.
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We'll meet up tomorrow to discuss it.
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It's a date.
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OLDER TED; And that's when
things got complicated,
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- Hey, baby. How's the dress place?
- Well, everything's so fluffy and white.
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It's like shopping in a marshmallow.
How's Barney's tailor?
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Everything here is dark and sketchy,
and seems illegal.
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It's like shopping in Barney's mind.
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- Good luck, baby.
- Bye.
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(BIRDS CHIRPING)
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Hey, Barney?
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I'm not sure about this.
A tailor in the backroom of a pet store?
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Look, do you want a quality suit
and a free rabbit or not?
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(SPEAKING UKRAINIAN)
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Ted, Sergei says stop moping around.
You're distracting him from his process.
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You speak Ukrainian?
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(EXCLAIMS ADMITTEDLY)
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Guys. I'm kind of screwed here.
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I don't wanna lose Victoria,
but I can't ask her to stay just for me.
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And long-distance definitely
isn't an option.
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No, no, no. No way.
You know who likes long-distance?
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Girls. It's all talking and no sex.
Kill me now.
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Hey, don't knock
long-distance relationships.
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I really think they can work.
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- Really? You?
- BARNEY: Absolutely.
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I'm juggling four right now.
There's Lisa in Madrid.
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There's Erica in Tokyo.
There's Laura in Denmark.
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And Kelly on 34th Street.
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(SPEAKING WITH IRISH ACCENT)
The lass thinks
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I'm a humble sheep shearer from Killarney.
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Ted, do you remember in college,
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when Lily did that summer art program
in Paris?
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Yeah.
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Well, she kept talking
about this cheesy French guy, Gabrielle.
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So, I went out to visit
and there was this party.
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And who shows up but Gabrielle.
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And he's got this weak-ass,
thin, French moustache.
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Yeah, I'm not much of a fighter, but I knew
I could take this weird little dude.
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So, I took him aside,
and I got all creepy quiet
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and got the crazy eyes going. And I said,
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"You stay away from Lily.
Or, I swear to God,
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"I'll eat that moustache
right off of your ugly French face."
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Yeah. No, he literally ran away.
I think he was crying.
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I never told Lily about it.
To be honest, I'm not very proud of it.
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To be even more honest, I am.
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Other than confirming a lot of European
stereotypes about Americans,
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- did that little story have a point?
- Yeah.
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The point is,
that even though Lily is my soul mate,
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long-distance still almost killed us.
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If you think that there's any chance
that Victoria's your soul mate,
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you should ask her to stay.
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Well, I don't know if she is.
It's still too early. But, yeah, she could be.
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Oh, please. You barely know this girl.
What's her favorite color?
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Is she a cat person, or a dog person?
Is she open to a three-way?
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Ted, I do more research than this
before buying a cell phone.
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And, FYI, yes, I have three-way calling.
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Look, she can't be a cat person.
I'm a dog person.
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I'm attracted to other dog people.
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- Are you sure?
- All right.
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00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,287
- Hello?
- Hey, random question.
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- How do you feel about cats?
- Cats. Hated the musical, love the animal.
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Good to know. Okay, goodbye.
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She's a cat person.
I don't know this girl at all.
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- Oh, excellent. We'll take this one.
- This one.
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Hey, hey. It's my suit.
Shouldn't I be the one to choose?
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(LAUGHS)
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Here, play with this pincushion.
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God, I'm gonna look hot.
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Marshall, I can't let you waste
a suit this nice
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00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,795
fighting a losing battle
for our planet's survival.
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This is a suit for winners.
I am getting you an interview at my office.
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00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,466
We need good men like you
in our legal department.
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We get sued. A lot.
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No way. The kid does not sell out.
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Oh, come on, dude.
Three months working with me,
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you'll make more
than Lily makes in a year.
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00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:05,173
No. I've made my decision.
159
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:09,083
So have I. If I ask this girl
to give up her dreams for me,
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00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:12,919
and, two weeks later, it's not working out,
I'm, like, the biggest jerk of all time.
161
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:15,186
It's just too much pressure
on a new relationship.
162
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I'm gonna tell her to go.
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OLDER TED; And so, I met her that night
to tell her my decision,
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All right, I've been thinking
a lot about this, and...
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Okay, wait. Before you say anything,
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I wanted to give you this.
167
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:36,704
This is what happens when you,
you know, let them finish baking.
168
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I want you to stay.
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Everything here is dark and sketchy,
and seems illegal.
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00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,695
It's like shopping in Barney's mind.
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- Good luck, baby.
- Bye.
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00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:02,374
Now, what sort of dress
did you have in mind, dear?
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00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,309
Nothing too huge or poofy.
I'm not really a girly girl.
174
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,937
But I would like to look
like a beautiful princess.
175
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,108
- I saw a couple up front that were nice.
- By the window?
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00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:16,711
No offense, dear, but those are
a little out of your price range.
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00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:19,622
Where does she get off?
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00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,352
She doesn't know
how much money I make.
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00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,825
These women are experts.
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00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:25,659
They can guess your net annual income
just by looking at your underwear.
181
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,093
Damn you, Old Navy
and your reasonably-priced three-packs.
182
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:33,772
- Well, at least we get free champagne.
- And cake.
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00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,397
Speaking of which, Victoria,
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00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:39,035
have you decided what to do
about your donut fellowship?
185
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:43,172
You know, I don't know. I mean,
I want to go, but I don't want to lose Ted.
186
00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:46,080
I even thought about long-distance,
as if that ever works.
187
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:48,551
All talking and no sex. Kill me now.
188
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:53,488
I know it sounds lame, but I actually think
that Ted might be the one.
189
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:57,663
- That's pretty hard to walk away from.
- Well, I don't know.
190
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,664
I'd feel a little Stepford
turning down a huge opportunity
191
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,927
to chase some guy
I'd only known two months.
192
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:07,870
But this isn't just some guy. This is Ted.
He's amazing.
193
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:12,434
- He's the best guy I know.
- Yeah, in America. But German guys?
194
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:16,575
I would let them bread my schnitzel
any day, if you know what I mean.
195
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,347
- I really don't.
- Sex.
196
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:24,013
Excuse me, ma'am.
This bastard's kicked. Thanks.
197
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,689
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
198
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,928
That's okay, guys, I hate it.
199
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,156
- Just horrible.
- It's bad. It's really bad.
200
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:36,030
Short in the front, long in the back.
That is the mullet of wedding dresses.
201
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,601
You know, Victoria,
Marshall and I did long-distance once.
202
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:45,834
In college, I did an art course in Paris.
I was the only American there.
203
00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:50,675
I was really Ionely.
I only had one friend. Gabrielle.
204
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:53,251
And she was kind of homely
and strange-Iooking.
205
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:57,186
And she was really self-conscious
about this little moustache she had.
206
00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:00,588
Anyway, halfway through the semester,
she just stopped talking to me,
207
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,058
and I never figured out why.
208
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,062
And then I had nobody.
209
00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,360
The only thing that got me through was
210
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:10,094
knowing that my soul mate
was back at home waiting for me.
211
00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:15,435
If Ted's your soul mate,
then it may be worth it to hang on to him.
212
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:18,772
But how am I supposed to know
if we're soul mates? It's too soon.
213
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,105
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
214
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:21,535
Speak of the devil.
215
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:23,342
- Hello?
- Hey, random question.
216
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:27,112
- How do you feel about cats?
- Cats. Hated the musical, love the animal.
217
00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:30,677
- A cat person. Why am I not surprised?
- Stop it.
218
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:35,156
Bye. Why does Ted want to know
if I like cats?
219
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,728
Maybe he's gonna buy you one.
220
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,794
I did hear barking in the background.
221
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,426
Maybe he was in a pet store.
Does he want us to get a cat together?
222
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:47,165
Maybe he's using an adorable kitty
to guilt you into staying.
223
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:51,307
That is low.
Do you really think that's what he's doing?
224
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,846
Oh, I wouldn't even wait to find out.
I would be on the next plane to Germany.
225
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,075
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
226
00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:01,219
Oh, God. You guys are sucky liars.
227
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,551
- I don't know what to say.
- Ugly, ugly, ugly.
228
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,515
You know what?
We're doing this all wrong.
229
00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:11,790
I'm gonna get you one of those
front-window dresses. Just for fun.
230
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,861
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
231
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:21,839
Okay. Just kind of seems like you're trying
to hustle Victoria out of the country.
232
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:24,136
I'm not. I'm just trying to support her.
233
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,178
She got a super-important
dessert scholarship.
234
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,644
Stop being sarcastic.
235
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,512
It is a super-important
dessert scholarship.
236
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:34,085
Wow, that's hard to say
without sounding sarcastic.
237
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:38,816
Look, I know you're not
Victoria's biggest fan,
238
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,590
but she seems to make Ted happy.
239
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:45,363
So think about that before you use
your miles to buy her a plane ticket.
240
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,496
Somebody say beautiful princess?
241
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,161
Oh, my gosh. It's perfect.
242
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:55,206
Oh, this dress is totally gonna get me laid
on my wedding night.
243
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,035
- Look how happy she is.
- Yeah.
244
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:03,537
You know, I've always thought of myself
as one of those independent women
245
00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:06,243
who would never let any guy
mess with my career,
246
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,752
and now I'm actually thinking about it.
247
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:12,585
I feel guilty.
Like it's un-feminist or something.
248
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,018
- I know what you mean.
- You do?
249
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,863
Well, I'm always putting my career
ahead of my relationships
250
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:27,462
and, to be honest, there's a lot
of Ionely nights in that job description.
251
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,499
See, that's what I'm afraid of.
252
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:34,543
Well, then, choosing Ted over your career
doesn't make you un-feminist.
253
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:39,710
Maybe it just means
that you guys would be happy together.
254
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:45,689
Robin, I think that you are the coolest.
255
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:48,827
I'm so glad that we're friends.
256
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:52,295
- Oh, no way, you are the coolest.
- No. No, you are.
257
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,029
Okay, I am.
258
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,128
I'm gonna stay.
259
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,840
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
260
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:12,348
I am so beautiful.
Don't tell me how much it costs.
261
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:15,511
Just snap my neck now
so I can die this pretty.
262
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,881
Wow. You look incredible.
263
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:22,591
Okay, okay. How much is it?
On a scale of never to never ever.
264
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:26,555
Never ever, ever, ever, ever times infinity.
265
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,093
Well, it's okay.
266
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,233
You know, what makes a bride beautiful
267
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:37,400
is that she's just happy
to be getting married.
268
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,371
Oh, guys, I know, I look amazing,
269
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:47,680
but the important thing is
that Marshall and I love each other, right?
270
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:49,413
Yes, you're right.
271
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:53,254
But, also, you just sat down in the cake.
272
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,959
(GASPING)
273
00:14:56,629 --> 00:15:01,532
But you know what? It's gonna come out,
because it's only chocolate and raspberry.
274
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,694
Okay, come on. Get up.
Let us see how bad it is.
275
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,168
(DRESS RIPPING)
276
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,008
(EXCLAIMS)
277
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:17,548
- It was like this when I found it.
- And how will you be paying for this?
278
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,153
Credit cards.
279
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,790
I wanted to give you this.
280
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:35,060
This is what happens when you,
you know, let them finish baking.
281
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:44,103
I want you to stay.
282
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:49,079
I have to go to Germany.
283
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,514
- You're going?
- Yes. I have to.
284
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,252
- So that's what you decided?
- Well, no.
285
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:02,850
I mean, I actually came here tonight
leaning towards staying,
286
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,760
but when you just told me to stay,
it made me realize that I have to go.
287
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,491
- What is this, opposite day or something?
- No.
288
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,931
So it is?
289
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,928
Ted, we've only been dating
for two months.
290
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,405
I can't let you make this decision for me.
291
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,443
I was totally gonna tell you to go,
but then you gave me this cupcake,
292
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,274
and it reminded me how great you are.
293
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,940
Well, is there any chance that
you would move to Germany with me?
294
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,912
Well, that's just crazy.
295
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:27,909
Okay.
296
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:31,217
So it's fine for me to make sacrifices
for you, but for you, it's crazy.
297
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,553
But you have a job here and a life.
I'd have nothing there.
298
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,059
- You'd have me.
- We've only been dating two months.
299
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:41,122
It's not fair.
It's not fair that we have to break up.
300
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,632
I hate this.
301
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:48,165
So we're breaking up?
302
00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:51,873
I guess so.
303
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,812
I guess so.
304
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,886
God, that sucks, man. I'm so sorry.
305
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,319
God, that sucks, man. I'm so sorry.
306
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:07,992
It was just too much pressure too soon.
I mean, maybe it was silly to even think...
307
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:11,528
Yes, Marshall, I see your new suit
and it's awesome.
308
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,690
Well, thank you for acknowledging it.
It's weird that you hadn't.
309
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,701
Look, I understand that you guys
had to break up eventually,
310
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,737
- but why today?
- She's leaving tomorrow.
311
00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:21,499
Yeah, but she's still in town.
312
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,041
- Yeah, she's still in town.
- Yeah.
313
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,338
So you spend
one more amazing day together.
314
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:28,736
Ted, think about it this way,
315
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:31,247
if you knew that you were gonna
lose your leg tomorrow,
316
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:33,443
would you sit on the couch
and cry about it,
317
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,747
or would you run and jump
318
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,652
and do some awesome air kicks
while you still could?
319
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,825
Awesome air kicks, huh?
320
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,796
- New pajama bottoms?
- You know it.
321
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,001
So, we can sit around and cry,
322
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:55,369
or we can run and do awesome air kicks
before our leg gets chopped off.
323
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:59,308
- Wait, so we're sharing the leg?
- No, the leg is a metaphor.
324
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:03,075
How could the leg be well enough
to do awesome air kicks one day
325
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:06,709
and yet still so sick
it needs to be chopped off the next?
326
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,120
- I don't know, Ted.
- Come on.
327
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:12,986
We've had a good run. Why end on a fight?
328
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:14,725
Well, what would you want to do?
329
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,226
Let's do all the stuff we talked about doing
330
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:18,125
- and never got around to.
- Like go to the Met?
331
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:19,788
Yeah, we'll walk across
the Brooklyn Bridge.
332
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:21,593
See some monkeys at the zoo.
333
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:24,168
Go to that French-Vietnamese place
we keep passing and say we want to try.
334
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,999
- Wow. We better get going.
- Yeah.
335
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:29,171
- Big day.
- Yeah.
336
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,801
OLDER TED; And kids, that's exactly
what we did with our last day,
337
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:36,347
The museum, The bridge, The restaurant,
338
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,977
And all of those nice things,
339
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:42,586
Lily, you have to tell him.
That dress cost a fortune.
340
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:45,885
No. I am just gonna wait for
the next time Marshall really screws up
341
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:49,427
and then I'll just slip this in,
and it won't seem so bad by comparison.
342
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:53,897
- Well, here's hoping he cheats on you.
- Yeah, but only like second base.
343
00:18:56,135 --> 00:19:00,003
Look at us. Two guys in suits.
You feel that slight tingle?
344
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:04,466
That's every girl in the bar wanting you,
and every guy wanting to be you.
345
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:07,636
Actually, it's mostly me,
but you're getting some of the splash.
346
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:10,873
(GRUNTS)
347
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:15,349
Hey, babe. Dollar beer night.
So I splurged and got us each our own.
348
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:19,148
So, have you thought any more
about coming to work for Barney Corp?
349
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,852
Oh, please.
Your company is not called Barney Corp.
350
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,052
Yet.
351
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,727
I almost forgot. Sergei sent me your bill.
352
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:32,167
Barney, this says $4,000.
353
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,739
I thought you said
that it was one-third price!
354
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,501
Must be a $12,000 dollar suit.
355
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:38,132
Oh, well, guess you'll have
to come work at my company.
356
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,614
You set this up.
You set this whole thing up.
357
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,205
I most certainly did!
358
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,614
Well, it won't work.
359
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,019
Even if I have to get two extra night jobs,
I'll pay your precious tailor.
360
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,058
I'm not selling my soul.
361
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:57,051
Baby, I know that
this will make things harder,
362
00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:59,187
but I will make it work. I promise.
363
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,789
I destroyed an $8,000 wedding dress.
364
00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:06,170
- What time is the interview?
- 9:00 a.m.
365
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,762
And you'll need new shoes. Don't worry.
I know a guy.
366
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:16,510
Well, I'm glad we got to spend the day
doing awesome air kicks.
367
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:19,516
Yeah. I was almost too tired
for all the sex.
368
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:26,889
- I'm gonna miss you so much.
- I'm gonna miss you, too.
369
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:38,526
Hey, you know. I mean, if when I get back,
we're still single we can...
370
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,865
Even if we're not.
371
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,708
Okay.
372
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:04,853
Look, I know it never works for anyone,
but do you wanna try long-distance?
373
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:06,692
Yes. Yes.
374
00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:12,867
- We can beat the odds.
- Odds, schmodds.
375
00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:16,304
It's gonna work.
We're gonna make it work. It'll work.
376
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:19,576
OLDER TED; It didn't work,
377
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:22,306
Long-distance was and is a terrible idea,
378
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:26,649
A really terrible idea, Just awful,
379
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,419
But more on that later,