1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,900
Copii,

2
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:05,100
primavara lui 2008 a fost o perioada
destul de complicata pentru tatal vostru.

3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,790
Ultima data cand l-am vazut pe Barney

4
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,700
a fost dupa ce am aflat ca s-a culcat cu Robbin.

5
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:12,600
Adica nu mai vrei sa fim frati?

6
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:14,900
Nu mai vreau sa fim prieteni.

7
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,400
E Barney.

8
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:23,000
Omule, serios acum trebuie sa incetezi
sa ma mai suni.

9
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,200
Ted, scuze ca nu ti-am returnat apelurile.

10
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,000
Mda, nu te-am sunat,

11
00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:29,300
tu m-ai sunat de 15 ori pe mine si 
de 2 ori pe parintii mei.

12
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,600
Imi pare rau, trebuie sa renunt la tine.

13
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,000
Sunt prea multi camarazi in oras.

14
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,800
Ted, plangi?

15
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,200
Nu, nu plang.

16
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,000
Sh....descarca-te, descarca-te.

17
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,700
La revedere, Barney.

18
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,500
-Si v-ati impacat?  
-Nu.

19
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,200
Mi-e dor de Barney.

20
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,400
Nu am mai batut palma cu nimeni
de o saptamana.

21
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,500
Cred ca in curand imi voi pierde
oasele pumnului.

22
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,000
Da-mi voie sa te intreb ceva, Ted.

23
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000
De ce esti atat de suparat pe Barney
si pe mine nu?

24
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,300
Da, si ea a facut tot atata sex cu Barney

25
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:03,800
cat a facut si el cu ea.

26
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,800
Stii ce? Nu sunt sigura ca e adevarat.

27
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:10,000
Cred ca mai degraba as prefera sa fii suparat pe mine. 

28
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,200
E cam ciudat.

29
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,000
Nu sunt suparat pe nimeni. Pe tine te-am iertat. 

30
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,300
Si pe Barney l-am eliminat ca prieten. E simplu.

31
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,400
Iti zic eu de ce nu e suparat. 

32
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,400
Pentru ca e foarte fericit cu Stella.

33
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:22,400
Si avea dreptate.

34
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,900
Eu si Stella ne intalneam deja de 2 luni.

35
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,200
Iar lucrurile mergeau destul de bine.

36
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:30,000
I-a cunoscut pe prietenii mei, 
si a avut succes.

37
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:32,000
Doar ca era o mica problema.

38
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,700
Voi n-ati facut inca sex?!

39
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,600
Cand eu si Marshall aveam 2 luni. 

40
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,600
o faceam non-stop.

41
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:40,900
Stiu. Eu eram in patul de deasupra

42
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,200
si am stat langa voi la meciurile de fotbal.

43
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,500
Dar ce asteptati?

44
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,900
Cred ca Vrea sa fie convinsa ca intre noi e ceva serios, 

45
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,900
si de aceea, nici nu m-a prezentat fetei ei inca.

46
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,700
Vrea sa facem totul cu pasi marunti.

47
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:56,000
Stai, deci n-ai mai facut sex de la Ziua Recunostintei.

48
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,400
Ai idee cate sarbatori federale

49
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,400
au venit si au trecut de atunci.

50
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,200
Oh, iubitule, iti amintesti Ziua Martin Luther King

51
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:08,700
Oh, da, l-am sarbatorit mult pe tipul ala.

52
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,400
Stii, sunt nebun dupa fata asta
si daca trebuie sa astept, 

53
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,400
sunt de acord cu asta.

54
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,300
Fara absolut nici o legatura. 

55
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:16,800
Aveti cumva niste GHB (substanta euforica),
o punga de gheata

56
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,300
sau o bucata de scoarta pe care n-o mestecati?

57
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,500
Hei Barney, a aparut un nou numar din Sky Mall.

58
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,300
Se zvoneste pe blog

59
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,500
ca esti in cautarea unui nou camarad. 

60
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,500
Vreau sa stii ca sunt disponibil.

61
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,500
Doar spune un cuvant, sau nici nu trebuie sa spui. 

62
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:40,900
poti doar sa faci un semn cu spranceana.

63
00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:46,400
Ala a fost semnul?

64
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,400
Fara suparare Randy, 

65
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,400
dar exista o lista lunga de candidati 
pentru postul asta.

66
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,800
Iar postul e de vice-presedinte al Grozavului.

67
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,300
Iar tu esti asistentul secretarului Doar Bine.

68
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,000
Asistentul secretarului Doar Bine

69
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,300
Iti multumesc, nu te voi dezamagi.

70
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,100
Si astfel unchiul Barney a inceput sa caute
un nou camarad.

71
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,600
-Pitt, Barney Stinson. 
-Hei

72
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,500
Nu te-am mai sunat de mult, 
a trecut ceva vreme.

73
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,200
Da, da, asculta, 

74
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,600
ar trebui sa ne intalnim la McLaren's diseara.

75
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,600
N-o sa-ti vina sa crezi, sunt la spital. 

76
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,900
Tocmai s-a nascut fetita mea.

77
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,400
Deci, ce zici? Pe la 9:30 sau 10?

78
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,400
Starry Porten, Barney Stinson.

79
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,600
Ce mai faci, sefule?

80
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,500
Am nevoie de un frate nou?

81
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,000
Mi-ar placea, dar acum sunt frate cu Duck Stan.

82
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,700
Oh, inteleg.

83
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,400
Duck Stan e un frate de treaba.

84
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,900
Ma bucur pentru tine. Mult noroc.

85
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:47,800
Willie Nebunul. Barney Stinson.

86
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:50,100
Ce faci caine, de ceva vreme fara frate, 

87
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,100
ne facem de cap in seara asta sau nu?

88
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,600
Da, in sfarsit.

89
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,600
Uite ce plan avem pentru diseara.

90
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,700
Eu si cu sotia facem si noi ceva pe la 7.

91
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:01,000
La 9 ne uitam la "27 de rochii". 

92
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000
Si toata lumea o sa fie in casa pana la 11. Booya.

93
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:12,400
-Salut  
-Sa-ti inchid telefonul o data nu a fost de ajuns.

94
00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:15,560
Ma uitam pe spatele unui tip,

95
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,330
si sa fiu sincera, nici nu stiu ce era aia,

96
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,000
ca deodata a explodat ca un vulcan.

97
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,330
Puroi peste tot.

98
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,000
Hai sa facem sex.

99
00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,330
Chiar acum. Incui usa.

100
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,200
Oh, usa asta nu se poate incuia.

101
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:28,400
Putem s-o facem sprijiniti pe usa. 
Va fi fierbinte!

102
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:31,460
Va fi ca o partida in 3: tu, eu si usa.

103
00:04:31,530 --> 00:04:33,200
Da, dar apoi maine va fi o situatie cam ciudata

104
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:34,730
intre mine si usa.

105
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,800
Imi cer scuze.

106
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,930
Asteptam. E in regula.

107
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,700
Ai fost atat de rabdator, Ted.

108
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,200
Adevarul e ca...

109
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:46,400
sunt putin agitata.

110
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,700
Trebuie sa-ti marturisesc ceva.

111
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:48,760
Ma temeam de asta.

112
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,060
Ai 14 ani.

113
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,200
 Nu, um...

114
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:57,860
E putin cam jenant, dar a trecut o perioada

115
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,860
de cand n-am mai fost intima cu cineva.

116
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:01,930
Wow, e ciudat ca spui asta.

117
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,730
Si la mine la fel.

118
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,230
Serios?

119
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:06,760
Cat timp a trecut la tine?

120
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,560
A trecut ceva timp.

121
00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:10,930
Spune-mi.

122
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,260
Si eu la fel!

123
00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:18,400
Si la tine au trecut tot 5 luni?

124
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,600
5 ani?!

125
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:30,400
 

126
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,700
traducerea:
andreea_i22@yahoo.com 

127
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,700
Wow.

128
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,860
Stella nu a mai facut sex din 2003.

129
00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:40,660
Hai sa vedem si contextul.

130
00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:43,600
Ultima data cand Stella a facut sex filmul "Seabiscuit"

131
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:47,160
tocmai aparuse in cinema... si in inimile noastre.

132
00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:49,930
5 ani?

133
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,900
Dumnezeule, daca eu as sta un an fara,

134
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,700
as iesi pe strada si m-as vinde pentru un cent.

135
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:57,330
Ultima oara cand Stella a facut sex,

136
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,060
lumea tocmai afla despre SARS.

137
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:01,730
Si, Ted, ce altceva ti-a mai zis?

138
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,960
Ti-a dat vreo explicatie?

139
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,000
Dupa ce s-a nascut Lucy, am avut cateva intalniri,

140
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:09,030
dar apoi a devenit foarte greu sa mai
gasesc pe cineva in care sa am incredere.

141
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:10,900
Mai devreme sau mai tarziu,
fiecare

142
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,300
mi-a oferit un motiv sa nu mai fiu cu el.

143
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,660
Dar nimeni timp de 5 ani?

144
00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:19,100
Ted, baietii regreta fetele cu care nu s-au culcat.

145
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,330
Iar fetele regreta baietii cu care s-au culcat.

146
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,460
Si in ultimii 5 ani,

147
00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:25,000
nu am avut regrete.

148
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,360
Ted, te holbezi la sanii mei.

149
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:32,100
In apararea mea, trebuie sa spun ca
ei se holbau la mine.

150
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,530
Ce inseamna asta pentru tine?

151
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,500
Va dori vreodata sa devina intima cu tine?

152
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:38,760
De fapt...

153
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:40,560
Adevarul e ca 

154
00:06:40,630 --> 00:06:41,900
imi doresc cu adevarat sa fac asta cu tine.

155
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,530
Cred ca nu voi regreta deloc.

156
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,860
Vorbele pernei tale sunt destul de invechite.

157
00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:49,400
Stii ce vreau sa zic, Ted. Sunt pregatita.

158
00:06:49,460 --> 00:06:50,900
E grozav.

159
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,500
Pregatita in sensul "chiar acum"?

160
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,330
Asa ca sora ei vine sa stea cu Lucy,

161
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,530
iar noi ne luam o camera de hotel in orasul "Noapte de sambata".

162
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,230
Ultima oara cand Stella a facut sex,

163
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,200
"Codul lui Da Vinci" tocmai aparuse.

164
00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:05,900
Ei bine, asta nu pare chiar atat de vechi.

165
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,100
Nu filmul, cartea.

166
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,930
 Wow.

167
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,300
E o situatie destul de stresanta?

168
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,300
Stii ce?
Chiar nu e.

169
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,730
Are nevoie rau de tot.

170
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,660
Orice vei face, pentru ea o sa fie ca artificiile.

171
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,800
Imi amintesc perioada mea de "seceta" cea mai lunga...

172
00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:22,430
Era vara cand am locuit in San Francisco.

173
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:26,530
Nu mai fusesem cu Marshall de 2 luni si 19 zile

174
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:38,700
Oh, San Francisco.

175
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,700
Nu stiu ce sa zic, Lily.
Dupa 5 ani,

176
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,760
asteptarile ei trebuie sa fie destul de mari.

177
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:46,460
Personalitati care au murit in 2003...

178
00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:50,930
Oh, Doamne...   Nell Carter.

179
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,460
Voi stiati ca Nell Carter a murit?

180
00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:57,460
Trebuie sa fac tot ce stiu mai bine
pentru a satisface aceasta femeie.

181
00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:59,900
Da, o sa fie destul de greu,
fiind moarta.

182
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,130
Nu Nell Carter-- Stella.

183
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,500
Omule, relaxeaza-te.

184
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,300
Totul se rezuma la felul cum gestionezi
situatia "asteptarilor".

185
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,400
Stii de ce il uram atat de tare pe Jerry Maguire?

186
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:08,200
Pentru ca pe dinauntru esti mort?

187
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:11,160
Nu, pentru ca incepi sa construiesti ceva 
timp de 2 saptamani

188
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:13,100
spunand ca e cel mai bun film facut vreodata.

189
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,230
Cu Stella trebuie sa faci exact opusul:  
Asteptari mai mici.

190
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,130
Exact, si astfel orice se intampla,

191
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,600
ea va fi fericita

192
00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:23,600
 Hei, amice.

193
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:27,600
Barney, sunt insurat. Nu pot fi noul tau camarad.

194
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:32,460
Nu.

195
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:40,960
Hei, Randy.

196
00:08:41,030 --> 00:08:43,160
Poti veni la mine in birou pentru un minut?

197
00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,300
Vesti bune.

198
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,830
Te avansez la gradul de maior.

199
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,830
Incepand de maine seara,

200
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,330
ti-ar placea sa fii noul meu camarad?

201
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,200
Uh...

202
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:57,800
Trebuie sa-mi verific programul.
Revin imediat.

203
00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:22,330
Maine sunt liber.

204
00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:28,400
Am o gustare surpriza pentru azi.

205
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,730
Ia uita-te.

206
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,260
Cartofi cu branza.

207
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:32,400
Extravagant.

208
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:33,730
Da, nu-i asa?

209
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,630
Doamne, parca a trecut o vesnicie 
de cand n-am mai mancat asa ceva.

210
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,900
Mi-i amintesc ca fiind

211
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,330
cel mai bun lucru din lume.

212
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,300
Huh.

213
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,860
E surprinzator.

214
00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:46,560
Ce anume?

215
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:47,730
Cartoful asta.

216
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:48,960
E bun

217
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:52,360
dar nu la fel de bun 
cum mi l-am imaginat.

218
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,560
Chiar daca a "jucat" foarte bine,

219
00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,600
si are o marime respectabila...

220
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,330
Nu m-am putut bucura de el

221
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,760
din cauza asteptarilor mele nerealiste.

222
00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:05,930
Hmm, Ted, imi dau seama ce vrei sa faci.

223
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,200
Incerci sa-mi micsorezi

224
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,100
asteptarile pentru seara asta.

225
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,230
-E vreo problema ce tine de lungime?  
-Nu.

226
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,200
-Termini prea repede?  
-Nu.

227
00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:15,660
-Un numar neasteptat de testicule?  
-Nu!

228
00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:18,260
Doar ca toata chestia asta e importanta pentru tine.

229
00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:20,060
Adica, e ca virginitatea: partea a doua.

230
00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:23,830
Virginity 2: Electric Boogaloo?

231
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,900
Exact, si nu vreau s-o dau in bara.

232
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,430
Nu vreau sa te intrebi dupa aceea daca am meritat.

233
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,860
Ted, sigur ca meriti.

234
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:34,330
Nu te mai ingrijora.

235
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,830
Suntem noi doi.

236
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:37,560
Deja relatia noastra are tot ce-i trebuie.

237
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,100
"Numar neasteptat de testicule?"

238
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,330
Se mai intampla. Am cunoscut un tip la facultatea de medicina...

239
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,630
Obisnuiam sa glumim spunandu-i ca e la o
bila distanta de a merge.

240
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,700
Hei.

241
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,730
Ce faci, Bro-seph Lieberman?

242
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,330
Nu, uh-uh.

243
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,760
Randy, nu folosim niciodata cuvantul "frate" 
in interiorul numelui

244
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,630
unui candidat democratic la vice-presedintie care a esuat.

245
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:11,130
La revedere, "Geraldine Ferrar-bro."

246
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,060
Stii ce?

247
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,100
Sunt foarte entuziasmat de toata chestia asta, Randy.

248
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,400
Vei fi urmatoarea mea capodopera.

249
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:18,400
E ca si cu Ted.

250
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,860
Cand ne-am intalnit prima data,

251
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,230
era un ratat mai mare decat tine.

252
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,200
Ce ratat.

253
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:25,500
In seara asta, o sa te transform

254
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:29,760
in cel mai grozav camarad din istoria camarazilor.

255
00:11:29,830 --> 00:11:32,400
Oh, va fi mai usor decat crezi, frate.

256
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,630
Da, iti citesc blogul de multi ani.

257
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:36,260
Esti ca un zeu pentru mine.

258
00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:39,200
Si de aceea, aceasta noapte va fi legendara...

259
00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:41,200
asteapta...

260
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:43,360
dara.

261
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,160
Bine, Randy, hai s-o facem.

262
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,760
Bine.

263
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,200
Esti pregatit?

264
00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:54,230
Da.

265
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,200
Nu, nu, nu, nu, nu, nu, nu, nu!

266
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,360
Ce e ? Ce s-a intamplat?

267
00:11:58,430 --> 00:12:00,330
Nimic.

268
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,260
S-o facem.

269
00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,100
Nu, nu, nu, nu, nu, te rog, te rog, te rog.

270
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:05,760
Asteapta. Asteapta. Asteapta. Asteapta!

271
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:08,000
Randy, ce faci?

272
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,530
Intru in joc, asta fac.

273
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,460
Bine, sa mergem. Nu. Sa...

274
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:13,800
Da. Nu!

275
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:16,400
Randy, asculta-ma: poti face asta, da?

276
00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:18,960
Oh, nu stiu. Sunt fetele alea chiar asa de atragatoare?

277
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,530
Da, sunt sexi. S-o facem.

278
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,600
Bine!

279
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,860
Hei, doamnelor.

280
00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:29,560
L-ati cunoscut pe...

281
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:37,860
-Hei. -Hei!

282
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:39,500
Uite care e planul.

283
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,160
Ne plimbam cu trasura prin parc,

284
00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:42,730
si acolo canta in aer liber si cei

285
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,200
de la filarmonica... 
-Ted.

286
00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:45,660
5 ani.

287
00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:46,660
-Direct la hotel? 
-Direct la hotel.

288
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,030
Stai sa-mi iau geanta.

289
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,630
Hei

290
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:52,900
Hei. 

291
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,660
Si astepti cu nerabdare seara asta?

292
00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:57,360
Da, sigur.

293
00:12:57,430 --> 00:12:59,200
A trecut ceva vreme de cand n-am 
mai iesit in oras.

294
00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:01,200
Da, am auzit.

295
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,430
Eu as exploda daca ar trece atat de mult timp

296
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:04,900
pana sa "ies in oras"

297
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,000
Asta mica me trezeste si la 4 dimineata uneori

298
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:09,600
doar ca sa "iasa in oras"

299
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:12,600
Despre ce vorbiti voi?

300
00:13:13,630 --> 00:13:14,900
Nimic.

301
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,100
Pizza.

302
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,160
La ce te referi?

303
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,300
Hei.

304
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,800
Le-ai zis, nu-i asa?

305
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:23,900
Ce le-am zis?

306
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,400
Le-ai spus

307
00:13:25,460 --> 00:13:28,030
ca n-am mai facut sex de 5 ani.

308
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,730
N-ai mai facut sex de 5 ani?!

309
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,130
Asta e o descoperire socanta

310
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,360
pe care noi tocmai acum o aflam!

311
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:43,800
Stella, imi cer scuze.

312
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:45,160
Nu trebuia sa le zic.

313
00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:47,100
Dar ei sunt prietenii mei cei mai buni.
Le spun totul lor.

314
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,430
Nici.. nici nu m-am gandit la asta.

315
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,230
Ted, era ceva foarte personal.

316
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,260
Si in plus, acum prietenii tai vor crede
ca sunt vreo ciudata.

317
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,560
Nu, nu vor crede asa ceva.

318
00:13:54,630 --> 00:13:56,860
UIte, stiu ca e ciudat, da?

319
00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:59,130
Nu multa lume sta 5 ani fara sex.

320
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,860
13 ani?!

321
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,760
Am atins punctul culminant foarte de tanar.

322
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:05,600
De aceea imi era foarte greu sa-ti zic asta.

323
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:07,930
Dar ti-am zis pentru ca am crezut ca pot avea 
incredere in tine.

324
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,230
Poti sa ai incredere in mine.

325
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,630
E evident ca nu pot.

326
00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:14,500
Stii, mereu exista un motiv sa nu te culci
cu un tip,

327
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,360
si tocmai mi l-ai dat pe al tau.

328
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:18,100
Stai, eu ti-am oferit un motiv,

329
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,960
sau tu ai cautat unul?

330
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:22,960
De ce as cauta unul?

331
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,960
Pentru ca lucrurile devin serioase intre noi,

332
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,760
iar asta te sperie.

333
00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,530
Noapte buna, Ted.

334
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,030
Bine, Randy, acum,

335
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,630
spune-mi, dar fara sa te uiti in palma,

336
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:41,160
care sunt cele 3 tehnici pentru incepatori

337
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:42,800
de a agata o femeie intr-un bar?

338
00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:44,860
O izolez de prietenii ei;

339
00:14:44,930 --> 00:14:47,200
ii repet numele in timpul conversatiei;

340
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:49,230
si subtil o pun jos.

341
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,530
Excelent.

342
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,300
Acum...

343
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,700
sa le punem in aplicare.

344
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,730
Sunt chiar in spatele tau.

345
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:02,860
Buna, eu sunt Randy.

346
00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:03,930
Care e numele tau?

347
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,030
Haley.

348
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,300
Haley.

349
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,630
Haley, ai un nume foarte frumos, Haley.

350
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,200
Haley...

351
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:10,930
Vino incoace, Haley.

352
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,430
Bine...

353
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,530
Haley, esti o tarfa urata si grasa.

354
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:26,000
Imi cer scuze, Barney.

355
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,860
Eh, ai primit o bautura in fata.

356
00:15:27,930 --> 00:15:29,460
Mie mi se mi intampla tot timpul.

357
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,000
Cat de curand vei putea sa anticipezi asta,

358
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,100
si cand o vei face... bautura pe gratis.

359
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:36,430
Avem 2 tipe noi.

360
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,060
Plan nou: de data asta ma urmezi.

361
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,460
Buna seara, doamnelor.

362
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:45,530
Oh, imi place brosa ta.

363
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:46,700
Ce reprezinta?

364
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,400
Oh, e un urs koala.

365
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:49,700
Cred ca sunt adorabili.

366
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,300
Nu se poate!

367
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,360
Prietenul meu Randy e cel mai mare expert

368
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,360
din Australia, specializat in ursi koala!

369
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:57,360
E in oras si lucreaza acum cu gradina zoologica din Bronx.

370
00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:58,400
Chiar?

371
00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:01,430
Asta e tarel!

372
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,830
Bine, care e lucrul tau preferat la koala?

373
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:08,860
...

374
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,860
Carnea lor e delicioasa.

375
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,430
Imi pare rau, Barney.

376
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,600
Ah, e in regula.

377
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,760
Plan nou: trebuie sa te facem sa te simti comfortabil

378
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:25,000
doar adresand cuvinte femeilor.

379
00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,000
Nu e niciun motiv pentru care sa te simti agitat,

380
00:16:27,060 --> 00:16:29,000
deoarece prietena mea Robin a fost de acord
sa ne ajute.

381
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:31,330
Da, pentru ca m-ai amenintat ca pui un
filmulet cu noi pe internet,

382
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,830
pe care totusi nu sunt convinsa ca-l ai.

383
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,700
Sigur, si de asta ai venit pana aici

384
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,700
tocmai din Brooklyn la miezul noptii.

385
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,130
Acum Randy,

386
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,130
sa incercam sa facem totul simplu.

387
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,530
Incepe prin a te prezenta.

388
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,030
Buna.

389
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:44,960
Numele meu e Randy.

390
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:46,130
Buna, Randy.

391
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,500
Ce mai faci?

392
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,630
Eu sunt bine. Tu?

393
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,460
-Bine, multumesc. 
-Grozav.

394
00:16:50,530 --> 00:16:51,800
Te descurci foarte, foarte bine.

395
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:53,800
Ce faci mai tarziu.

396
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:55,830
Ce faci mai tarziu?

397
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:59,160
Da, nasul iti sangereaza ca un robinet.

398
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,800
Oh, Doamne.

399
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,630
Asa mi se intampla de fiecare data cand am o erectie.

400
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:04,830
Imi pare asa de rau.

401
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,260
Bine.

402
00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:11,300
Bine, plan nou.

403
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,900
Ii infasuram fata in tifon
ca sa nu sangereze sau sa vorbeasca.

404
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,330
Tu esti femeia...

405
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,500
Barney, de ce esti atat de disperat sa faci asta?

406
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:19,760
Sunt un camarad.

407
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,130
Si asta e ceea ce camarazii fac.

408
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:22,830
E cumva posibil

409
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:25,130
ca tu sa incerci sa umpli golul 
pe care Ted ti l-a lasat

410
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,800
astfel grabindu-te intr-o noua relatie de camaraderie?

411
00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:29,300
Ce vrei sa spui?

412
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:32,660
Ceea ce spun e ca Randy e aventura 
de dupa o relatie lunga.

413
00:17:32,730 --> 00:17:34,130
NU.

414
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,630
E nebunesc.

415
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,630
Ceea ce eu si Randy avem e ceva solid.

416
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:40,000
Nu, nu e, Barney.

417
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,030
Si chiar daca reusesti sa-l faci
pe Randy sa se culce cu cineva,

418
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,860
va fi la fel de semnificativ

419
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:46,360
ca atunci cand il ajutai pe Ted sa agate?

420
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:49,700
Era mereu atat de fericit dimineata, stii?

421
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:50,530
Stiu.

422
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:51,760
Bine.

423
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,130
Nu s-a coagulat,

424
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,030
dar cred ca a inceput sa dea inapoi.

425
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,060
Randy.

426
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,060
M-am gandit,

427
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:04,030
si nu va merge.

428
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,060
Da, mi-am dat seama.

429
00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:08,330
Stiam ca nu voi putea zbura atat de aproape de soare

430
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,530
fara sa ma ard.

431
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,030
Asta e povestea vietii mele.

432
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,530
Mereu dezamagesc oamenii.

433
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,900
Tu, tatal meu, seful politiei.

434
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,100
Seful politiei?

435
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,230
Da, am fost politist cam 3 luni.

436
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:20,730
Dar am fost dat afara

437
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,600
pentru ca am dat-o in bara rau de tot.

438
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:26,600
Ai fost politist in New York

439
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:27,860
si mie nu mi-ai zis nimic?

440
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,200
Ai impuscat vreodata pe cineva?

441
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:31,460
Doar... tot timpul.

442
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:32,730
Dar nu s-a impuscat singur.

443
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,430
Si nu in picior.

444
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,300
-De fapt...   
-ah, bah, bah, bah, bah.

445
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,600
Nimic.

446
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,600
Nu cred ca exista ceva mai sexi decat un politist.

447
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,260
Esti bine?

448
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:42,600
Iti sangereaza nasul.

449
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:44,030
Uh, o veche rana.

450
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,830
Glontul e inca blocat in sinusuri.

451
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:46,860
Oh, Doamne!

452
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,160
Stii ce?

453
00:18:48,230 --> 00:18:49,400
Locuiesc chiar dupa colt.

454
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:50,830
Pot sa te duc la mine

455
00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:51,960
si sa te bandajez?

456
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,700
Ar fi frumos.

457
00:18:58,730 --> 00:19:00,530
Distractie placuta.

458
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,600
Oh, Doamne, iti multumesc. N-am cum sa-ti multumesc destul.

459
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:08,600
Sunt cel mai tare camarad din toate timpurile.

460
00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:11,700
Ted nu stie ce pierde.

461
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,730
Trebuia tu sa-mi amintesti de Ted, nu?

462
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,760
Bine, am exagerat aseara.

463
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:25,930
Imi pare rau.

464
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,200
Poate ca am probleme de incredere,

465
00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:31,330
dar crede-ma, ca le-am dobandit cu timpul.

466
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,500
Mi-ai spus ca intentionat caut un motiv

467
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,500
ca relatia noastra sa se destrame.

468
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,200
Ei bine, gasesc mereu motive, Ted.

469
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,630
E un lucru pe care il fac mereu.

470
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:43,930
Dar nu voi face asta si cu tine.

471
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,230
Ted... sunt de acord.

472
00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:50,530
E cam ciudat.

473
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,860
Sunt cu o fata.

474
00:19:51,930 --> 00:19:52,800
Deci...

475
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,860
Hai.

476
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:05,600
Sunt pregatita sa fac ceva cu tine.

477
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,900
Ted, ea e Lucy.

478
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,900
-Buna, lucy.  
-Lucy, el e Ted.

479
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,900
Eu si Stella credeam ca relatia noastra

480
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,230
va face un pas important in acel weekend.

481
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,230
Si am descoperit ca a facut un pas si mai mare

482
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,330
A adormit.  oh.

483
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,460
E atat de minunata.

484
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,830
Asa cred.

485
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:35,560
Si, ma gandeam,

486
00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:37,630
Sora mea sta in oras pana maine seara.

487
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,330
Si, e un motel aici la intersectie.

488
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:50,400
-Wow, a fost uimitor!  
-oh, da.

489
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,730
Ce faci?

490
00:20:52,830 --> 00:20:54,730
Ii sun pe Marshall si pe Lily sa le povestesc

491
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
 

492
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000