1 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:04,063 Kids, there is something I wish my dad told me. 2 00:00:04,304 --> 00:00:07,234 The longest pause you will ever experience in your life 3 00:00:07,354 --> 00:00:09,448 is the one that follows asking the question... 4 00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:10,853 Will you marry me? 5 00:00:11,763 --> 00:00:15,357 Your brain goes into overdrive, imaging every possible response. 6 00:00:16,377 --> 00:00:17,276 No. 7 00:00:18,015 --> 00:00:19,236 Oh, God, no. 8 00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,519 You want me to marry... 9 00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:25,949 No. 10 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:29,126 Oh, I'm sorry, Ted. I can't. 11 00:00:29,366 --> 00:00:30,160 Mark Johnson, 12 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,255 the quarterback from your high school football team, already asked me. 13 00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:34,634 What's up, Turd? 14 00:00:35,328 --> 00:00:36,406 It's Ted! 15 00:00:37,748 --> 00:00:38,906 But if you're lucky, 16 00:00:39,026 --> 00:00:42,618 she may answer with the single greatest word in the English language. 17 00:00:43,128 --> 00:00:43,939 Yes. 18 00:00:46,907 --> 00:00:49,349 Sync : Avada 19 00:00:59,147 --> 00:01:01,773 Stella and I spent that summer happily engaged. 20 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,657 Marshall was still coping with unemployment. 21 00:01:04,777 --> 00:01:05,949 What are you doing? 22 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,050 Lily threw herself into her painting. 23 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,612 What are you doing? 24 00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,420 Barney was rehabilitating from his bus accident. 25 00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:17,002 What are you doing? 26 00:01:18,306 --> 00:01:21,330 And well, Marshall just kept coping with unemployment. 27 00:01:24,604 --> 00:01:25,983 What are you doing? 28 00:01:27,342 --> 00:01:31,642 And Robin continued to uphold the high journalistic standards of Metro News 1. 29 00:01:32,251 --> 00:01:37,177 Is your favorite brand of dental floss poisoning your entire family? 30 00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:39,837 Tune in at 11:00 for the shocking... 31 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:41,449 Tooth. 32 00:01:44,326 --> 00:01:46,406 Okay, I officially hate my job. 33 00:01:46,738 --> 00:01:50,663 I'm not a reporter, I'm just someone who shows up at night and scares people. 34 00:01:50,895 --> 00:01:53,102 I'm the bogeyman with a teleprompter. 35 00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:58,209 "Bogeyman with a teleprompter." 36 00:01:58,329 --> 00:02:01,076 That's hilarious! Great joke, Robin, great joke. 37 00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:04,299 Barney, no offense to Robin, but that wasn't that funny. 38 00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:06,911 Are you kidding? That was a great joke. 39 00:02:07,031 --> 00:02:09,562 It's smart, funny, beautiful, the whole package. 40 00:02:09,682 --> 00:02:12,121 It's everything you're afraid to let yourself want. 41 00:02:12,764 --> 00:02:13,924 In a joke. 42 00:02:16,377 --> 00:02:18,498 "Bogeyman with a teleprompter." 43 00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:20,407 Classic. 44 00:02:22,545 --> 00:02:26,084 Okay, what is so urgent that you called me and begged me 45 00:02:26,204 --> 00:02:28,815 to come over at 7:22 in the morning? 46 00:02:28,935 --> 00:02:32,341 I could tell you knew something was up with me, and you're right. 47 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,597 But I can't tell you what it is. I should tell you, but I can't! 48 00:02:35,717 --> 00:02:39,183 I have to. I never will! I'm going to. Let's just drop it. What's up with you? 49 00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:41,336 Barney, just say it. 50 00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:46,425 I think I'm in love with Robin. 51 00:02:47,444 --> 00:02:50,454 Hey, Lily needs some gift ideas for Stella's wedding shower. 52 00:02:50,574 --> 00:02:52,072 Does she like to cook? 53 00:02:53,569 --> 00:02:55,109 Actually, I don't know. 54 00:02:55,406 --> 00:02:57,084 What's her favorite color? 55 00:02:58,135 --> 00:02:59,659 Don't know that either. 56 00:03:00,029 --> 00:03:02,389 - Well, does she have any hobbies? - Yes. 57 00:03:02,509 --> 00:03:05,068 She's exactly the kind of person who would have hobbies. 58 00:03:05,346 --> 00:03:06,844 And interests, too. 59 00:03:07,401 --> 00:03:09,085 I am one lucky son of a bitch. 60 00:03:09,205 --> 00:03:10,067 Dude, 61 00:03:10,187 --> 00:03:12,618 you don't know anything about the woman you're marrying. 62 00:03:12,778 --> 00:03:13,671 What? 63 00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:15,287 You're crazy! I know plenty. 64 00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:16,990 What color are her eyes? 65 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,626 The color of the ocean after a storm. 66 00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:21,877 Which is? 67 00:03:24,706 --> 00:03:25,660 Beautiful. 68 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,588 I don't believe it. 69 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,813 I thought you called me over here to uncuff you from your sex swing again, 70 00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:33,543 but you're in love? 71 00:03:34,132 --> 00:03:35,390 That is so sweet! 72 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:36,863 It's not "sweet." 73 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,894 It's like a disease. 74 00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:41,813 I slept with Robin one time and I caught feelings. 75 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,607 I caught feelings bad. 76 00:03:43,939 --> 00:03:45,795 I used protection and everything. 77 00:03:46,796 --> 00:03:50,363 Barney, you don't "catch" feelings, you just have them. 78 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:52,988 - And they're good. - They're terrible! 79 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,374 I can't eat, I can't sleep. 80 00:03:55,719 --> 00:03:58,556 She's all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Robin. 81 00:03:58,676 --> 00:04:00,916 I, I hear a song; it reminds me of Robin. 82 00:04:01,076 --> 00:04:01,851 Morning. 83 00:04:01,971 --> 00:04:04,705 I sleep with that chick, I'm thinking about Robin. 84 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:08,548 Okay, so I don't know every single detail about Stella. 85 00:04:08,817 --> 00:04:10,931 What's really about? Do you not like her or something? 86 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,096 No, Ted, I like Stella lot. She's a Mets fan. 87 00:04:14,256 --> 00:04:14,975 Really? 88 00:04:15,095 --> 00:04:17,483 It's just that everything with you has moved so fast. 89 00:04:17,603 --> 00:04:19,458 You've only known each other a few months. 90 00:04:19,578 --> 00:04:21,912 Don't you think maybe you should slow things down a little bit? 91 00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:24,209 - Get to know each other better? - I'll have a whole life 92 00:04:24,329 --> 00:04:25,919 time to get to know her better. 93 00:04:26,039 --> 00:04:28,860 Right now, I know the one thing that I have to: 94 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,723 that I love her. 95 00:04:30,843 --> 00:04:32,139 You love her? 96 00:04:32,426 --> 00:04:34,547 Barney, how can you be in love, 97 00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:36,952 and still be sleeping with anything that moves? 98 00:04:38,189 --> 00:04:40,032 I'm sorry, I don't follow you. 99 00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:41,742 That's like saying, 100 00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:44,513 "How can an ant carry "20 times its body weight, 101 00:04:44,633 --> 00:04:46,615 but root beer floats are still delicious?" 102 00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:48,213 Are the two even related? 103 00:04:48,373 --> 00:04:49,334 Really? 104 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:52,011 Barney, you're going to have to stop screwing around 105 00:04:52,131 --> 00:04:53,827 if you want to be Robin's boyfriend. 106 00:04:56,246 --> 00:04:57,242 "Boyfriend"? 107 00:04:57,362 --> 00:04:59,433 I don't want to be Robin's boyfriend. 108 00:04:59,844 --> 00:05:01,476 Well, what do you want, then? 109 00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:03,979 I don't know. I just want to be with her. 110 00:05:04,466 --> 00:05:05,555 All the time. 111 00:05:05,913 --> 00:05:08,780 I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine. 112 00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,987 I want to hold her hand and smell her hair. 113 00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:15,490 But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend. 114 00:05:16,308 --> 00:05:18,220 Barney, what you just described 115 00:05:18,499 --> 00:05:21,870 is a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. 116 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,166 And a pretty clingy one at that. 117 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,405 Look, Lily, are you going to help me out with this or not? 118 00:05:27,525 --> 00:05:29,415 I'm a kindergarten teacher. 119 00:05:29,535 --> 00:05:33,238 I see a confused, little kid in the corner trying to eat the lefty scissors, 120 00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:35,395 I gotta help the poor, little bastard. 121 00:05:35,664 --> 00:05:38,080 But only if you stop sleeping around. 122 00:05:38,316 --> 00:05:39,126 Deal? 123 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,183 Deal. 124 00:05:41,343 --> 00:05:42,411 Coming up next, 125 00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:47,031 is your local ice cream man actually driving a roving meth lab on wheels? 126 00:05:47,582 --> 00:05:49,261 Stay tuned for the full... 127 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:51,712 Scoop. 128 00:05:51,832 --> 00:05:52,847 Really? 129 00:05:57,972 --> 00:06:01,768 I know dudes think it's girlie for a guy to cook, but us ladies? 130 00:06:02,273 --> 00:06:04,665 - We find it mighty sexy. - Really? 131 00:06:05,025 --> 00:06:05,958 You know... 132 00:06:06,644 --> 00:06:08,171 My grandma taught me how. 133 00:06:08,291 --> 00:06:10,069 - Oh, yeah, she did. - Yeah. 134 00:06:10,189 --> 00:06:13,298 I had a lot of time after school to watch her cook because 135 00:06:13,565 --> 00:06:14,883 I wasn't good at sports. 136 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,261 I'm on fire right now. 137 00:06:22,245 --> 00:06:23,809 Delicious. What's in this pesto? 138 00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:26,992 Oh, you know, the usual: basil, garlic, olive oil, 139 00:06:27,112 --> 00:06:29,231 but can you guess my secret ingredient? 140 00:06:29,591 --> 00:06:30,507 Peanuts. 141 00:06:30,806 --> 00:06:32,319 Yes. How did you know that? 142 00:06:38,988 --> 00:06:41,493 - OK, let's my think, what else? - You know what, sweetie? 143 00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:44,339 I woke up so early and I had a really long day at work. 144 00:06:44,459 --> 00:06:46,971 And there was that whole thing where you tried to kill me. 145 00:06:47,091 --> 00:06:48,551 Can we please just go to sleep? 146 00:06:48,671 --> 00:06:51,232 No, I clearly need to know more about you. 147 00:06:51,517 --> 00:06:53,421 Let's do firsts. First kiss? 148 00:06:54,102 --> 00:06:55,697 Dale Harris, second grade. 149 00:06:55,964 --> 00:06:59,135 You're talking like peck on the cheek or a full-on passionate making out? 150 00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:02,171 - Passionate making out. - OK, yeah, Dale Harris, second grade. 151 00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:03,938 First time you had sex. 152 00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:05,895 - Dale Harris, second... - Stop it. 153 00:07:06,015 --> 00:07:08,061 Billy Devito, sophomore year of college. 154 00:07:08,221 --> 00:07:09,087 Prude. 155 00:07:09,353 --> 00:07:11,532 Molly McKenzie, junior year of high school. 156 00:07:11,652 --> 00:07:12,502 Slut. 157 00:07:13,439 --> 00:07:15,610 Robin just needs to see this new see of you. 158 00:07:15,924 --> 00:07:17,946 - So just call her up? - Just call her up. 159 00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:21,554 It's... 160 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:24,657 Hi, Robin. 161 00:07:26,739 --> 00:07:29,082 She wasn't there. I left a voice mail. 162 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:31,276 You left a voice, but it wasn't male. 163 00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:33,372 Barney, I don't get it. 164 00:07:33,492 --> 00:07:35,871 You've called a million girls a million times. 165 00:07:35,991 --> 00:07:37,631 Yeah, but those were just booty calls. 166 00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:39,968 On a booty call, you barely even have to talk. 167 00:07:40,607 --> 00:07:43,264 Around 9:00 p.m., you say... Hey, baby, it's Barney. 168 00:07:43,384 --> 00:07:45,197 You busy tonight? Sweet. 169 00:07:45,317 --> 00:07:47,473 See you in half an hour? Can't wait. 170 00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:50,455 But the later it gets, the fewer words you need. 171 00:07:50,575 --> 00:07:52,343 Barney. Busy? Sweet. 172 00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:55,392 And by 3:00 in the morning... 173 00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:02,013 Sweet. 174 00:08:03,332 --> 00:08:04,661 A question mark? 175 00:08:04,781 --> 00:08:06,828 You got laid off a question mark? 176 00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:12,750 It's no worse than your super-obvious code words. 177 00:08:14,397 --> 00:08:16,350 - Rhinoceros. - We have to go. 178 00:08:17,851 --> 00:08:19,632 Great. Now we need a new code word. 179 00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,811 Ah, ah, it's her, it's Robin. What do I do? 180 00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:25,889 No-no-no-no, aah! Robin... 181 00:08:26,182 --> 00:08:27,883 Great to hear from you. 182 00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:30,101 To what do I owe the pleasure? 183 00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:33,172 You called, went, and hung up. 184 00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:34,421 What do you want? 185 00:08:34,541 --> 00:08:35,648 Help me! 186 00:08:36,337 --> 00:08:38,091 Just ask her something. 187 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,362 How are you feeling today? 188 00:08:41,836 --> 00:08:42,779 Fine. 189 00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:44,387 Something personal. 190 00:08:46,294 --> 00:08:49,078 At what age did you first get your period? 191 00:08:50,073 --> 00:08:51,831 Did you just ask me about about my period? 192 00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:53,375 No, I did not. 193 00:08:54,949 --> 00:08:56,638 Look, Barney, I'm at work right now. 194 00:08:56,758 --> 00:08:58,345 Just ask her out. 195 00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:02,377 Robin, I was wondering if... 196 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,387 Nothing. Gotta go. Bye. 197 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,629 That was just a practical joke. 198 00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:12,550 I'm not really in love with Robin. 199 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:14,712 You should've seen the look on your face. 200 00:09:14,832 --> 00:09:17,419 There's cameras right there and there and there. 201 00:09:18,882 --> 00:09:22,695 What a legendary prank that we're never going to speak of again. 202 00:09:28,397 --> 00:09:29,221 Gross. 203 00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:34,833 - First movie you ever saw. - Benji,1981. 204 00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:38,710 I watched it recently with Lucy and I just thought, 205 00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:41,422 "Oh, that dog is so dead right now." 206 00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:43,753 What about you? 207 00:09:43,873 --> 00:09:46,803 My dad took me to an old drive-in to see the original Star Wars. 208 00:09:47,391 --> 00:09:49,597 You know, I've actually never seen Star Wars. 209 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:52,058 She's never seen Star Wars?! 210 00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:53,866 Ted, the only people in the universe 211 00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:56,211 who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters, 212 00:09:56,331 --> 00:09:57,932 and that's 'cause they lived them. 213 00:09:58,052 --> 00:10:01,208 - That's 'cause they lived the Star Wars. - You've got to calm down. 214 00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,063 I told you. You didn't know this girl well enough. What if... 215 00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:07,677 - you show it to her, she doesn't like it? - Dude, it's just a movie. 216 00:10:08,058 --> 00:10:10,333 Star Warsis your all-time favorite movie, 217 00:10:10,453 --> 00:10:12,758 and whether or not Stella likes it is actually important. 218 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,289 It's like, it's a test of how compatible you guys are. 219 00:10:16,455 --> 00:10:17,581 It's just a movie. 220 00:10:17,744 --> 00:10:19,461 It's just a movie! 221 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:23,436 121 awesome minutes later 222 00:10:24,442 --> 00:10:26,033 If Stella doesn't like this movie, 223 00:10:26,153 --> 00:10:27,877 - I can't marry her. - You can't. 224 00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:30,464 - You want to watch it again? - I do. 225 00:10:37,117 --> 00:10:39,307 Where are the boys? I thought this was a group thing. 226 00:10:39,427 --> 00:10:42,170 I lied. They're not coming and I'm about to leave. 227 00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:43,249 Why? 228 00:10:43,369 --> 00:10:44,215 Because... 229 00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:46,926 they're not in love with Robin, and neither am I. 230 00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:49,465 I mean, she's great and sweet. 231 00:10:49,805 --> 00:10:52,306 I'm not going to pretend that I haven't noticed her body, 232 00:10:52,426 --> 00:10:54,683 but this is off topic. Good luck. 233 00:10:54,843 --> 00:10:56,442 Wait, wait, I can't do this. 234 00:10:56,562 --> 00:10:58,593 She'll never take me seriously. She thinks I'm some 235 00:10:58,764 --> 00:10:59,980 womanizing idiot. 236 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,511 We both know you're more than that. 237 00:11:03,061 --> 00:11:05,420 How Robin the Barney I met the other day. 238 00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:08,631 You mean the insecure, touchy-feely she-male 239 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,827 who sounded alarmingly close to Ted? 240 00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:13,303 Ted hit that for over a year. 241 00:11:14,451 --> 00:11:15,496 Wish me luck. 242 00:11:16,873 --> 00:11:19,094 I just thought it'd be fun to watch a movie tonight, 243 00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:22,274 and since you've never seen Star Wars, I figured why not? 244 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,685 No big deal. 245 00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:25,364 It's pretty good. 246 00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:27,258 Sounds like a plan. 247 00:11:32,815 --> 00:11:34,761 I'm just grab a beer. You want one? 248 00:11:34,881 --> 00:11:36,875 The movie's already started, so... 249 00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:40,354 It's some words flying through space. I'm not going to read that anyway. 250 00:11:40,514 --> 00:11:41,480 Oh, my God. 251 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,095 Off to a bad start. 252 00:11:44,065 --> 00:11:45,697 What are you doing down there? 253 00:11:45,817 --> 00:11:48,270 I'm making sure my best friend is marrying the right woman. 254 00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:49,696 That's what I'm doing. 255 00:11:49,816 --> 00:11:51,790 What are you doing, hiding behind the couch? 256 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,159 You need to get a job. 257 00:11:55,227 --> 00:11:56,601 I really do, don't I? 258 00:11:58,658 --> 00:11:59,779 So, Robin... 259 00:12:00,724 --> 00:12:02,084 tell me about your day, 260 00:12:02,411 --> 00:12:05,758 and not just what happened, how you felt about what happened. 261 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:09,327 - What? - I'm not looking to problem-solve, 262 00:12:09,447 --> 00:12:11,010 I'm just looking to listen. 263 00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:15,096 - Why are you acting like this? - Like what? 264 00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:17,648 You're being super nice. It's... 265 00:12:17,768 --> 00:12:19,565 freaking me out. Be... 266 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:22,626 gross, be inappropriate. Be Barney. 267 00:12:23,057 --> 00:12:24,320 I'm being Barney, 268 00:12:25,073 --> 00:12:27,574 and I think tonight's going to be 269 00:12:27,694 --> 00:12:29,677 de... wait for it... lightful. 270 00:12:31,108 --> 00:12:32,108 Delightful. 271 00:12:32,983 --> 00:12:33,983 Right. 272 00:12:37,783 --> 00:12:39,955 So I went to the chiropractor yesterday. 273 00:12:40,115 --> 00:12:43,417 That guy bent me over the table and pounded me for a good hour. 274 00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:48,993 Is insurance going to cover that? Sometimes they don't. 275 00:12:49,654 --> 00:12:50,699 That's it? 276 00:12:54,595 --> 00:12:56,275 Today I was at the dentist. 277 00:12:56,521 --> 00:12:58,578 That guy drilled me 278 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,409 all day long. 279 00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:02,728 He drilled me hard. 280 00:13:03,681 --> 00:13:05,455 He filled all of my cavities. 281 00:13:05,957 --> 00:13:07,066 Come on, man. 282 00:13:07,624 --> 00:13:10,301 - Your teeth look fantastic. - Who are you? 283 00:13:18,913 --> 00:13:19,913 What? 284 00:13:20,951 --> 00:13:21,951 Nothing. 285 00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,633 You were staring at me. 286 00:13:26,203 --> 00:13:27,999 You look really beautiful tonight. 287 00:13:29,812 --> 00:13:32,126 You don't look so bad yourself, mister. 288 00:13:32,514 --> 00:13:34,111 Great scene, great scene. 289 00:13:36,818 --> 00:13:38,472 Star Wars fun fact number seven... 290 00:13:38,632 --> 00:13:40,408 George Lucas based the film's structure 291 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,726 on Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress. 292 00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:45,896 He also owes a debt to Campbell's work with comparative mythology. 293 00:13:46,056 --> 00:13:48,128 Yeah, Ted, I'm losing wood over here. 294 00:13:48,248 --> 00:13:49,506 What's going on? 295 00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:50,788 Nothing. 296 00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,272 Wait, it's 297 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:56,198 really important to you that I like this movie, isn't it? 298 00:13:59,778 --> 00:14:02,579 I'm not gonna like it with you staring at me the whole time. 299 00:14:02,873 --> 00:14:05,270 Go to your room and I will come get you when it's over. 300 00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:06,390 Go. 301 00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:14,952 Should I leave, too? 302 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,430 What part, what part? 303 00:14:25,471 --> 00:14:26,504 Thanks. 304 00:14:27,697 --> 00:14:28,697 Nothing? 305 00:14:28,941 --> 00:14:30,268 Not even a glance? 306 00:14:30,519 --> 00:14:34,077 Even I was thinking about rocking a motorboat on those bad boys. 307 00:14:34,403 --> 00:14:36,030 What the hell is wrong with you? 308 00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:40,312 I don't always want to be that guy. Sometimes I want to be someone 309 00:14:40,432 --> 00:14:42,328 you can have an actual conversation with. 310 00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:46,503 Now, tell me something about you that I don't know yet. 311 00:14:47,184 --> 00:14:48,042 Seriously. 312 00:14:53,085 --> 00:14:55,150 There's a job opening at a new cable network 313 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,176 that would be perfect for me... 314 00:14:58,067 --> 00:15:01,754 completely legit world news, interviews with people who matter... 315 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,892 - but I decided I'm not going to apply. - Why not? 316 00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:07,497 Because I'm a joke. 317 00:15:07,763 --> 00:15:10,731 I'm just the scary news lady from some stupid local news channel. 318 00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:13,526 We both know you're more than that. 319 00:15:14,853 --> 00:15:16,278 Promise me you'll apply. 320 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:20,366 - It's not as easy... - Promise me you'll apply. 321 00:15:24,119 --> 00:15:25,129 I promise. 322 00:15:28,103 --> 00:15:30,557 She's up to the scene where Luke, Leia, Han and Chewy escape 323 00:15:30,677 --> 00:15:33,224 - from the Death Star's trash compactor. - Great scene. 324 00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:34,964 Greatscene? 325 00:15:37,741 --> 00:15:39,737 Okay, we should have just heard... 326 00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:46,892 but Stella didn't make a peep. I'm gonna take a look. 327 00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,236 She's not even watching. She's texting. 328 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:01,614 - I'll tell her you still want to be friends. - I don't believe this. 329 00:16:01,882 --> 00:16:05,155 I believe, she knows this is important to me. She's blatantly... 330 00:16:08,447 --> 00:16:10,499 "Stop watching me, jackasses." 331 00:16:12,173 --> 00:16:14,521 - To taking chances. - To taking chances. 332 00:16:17,917 --> 00:16:21,362 You know, Robin, there's actually something, I do want to talk to you about. 333 00:16:21,795 --> 00:16:23,746 - Last call. - Of course it is. 334 00:16:24,138 --> 00:16:26,098 - One more for the road? - Yeah, why not? 335 00:16:26,651 --> 00:16:27,825 Hold that thought? 336 00:16:30,627 --> 00:16:31,627 I will. 337 00:16:40,296 --> 00:16:41,810 - I loved it. - Yes! 338 00:16:42,726 --> 00:16:45,431 I am marrying a woman who is not only hot 339 00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,787 but loves Star Wars. That's the dream. 340 00:16:50,111 --> 00:16:52,845 - What was that? - I was high-fiving 15-Year-Old Me 341 00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:54,995 through the space-time continuum. We did it. 342 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:58,172 We did it, you masturbating little bastard. 343 00:16:58,474 --> 00:17:00,047 Champagne for everybody. 344 00:17:03,237 --> 00:17:04,368 It was so good. 345 00:17:04,488 --> 00:17:07,206 - You hated it, didn't you? - It's so stupid. First of all, 346 00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:10,434 how do they understand that walking bear they hang around with all the time? 347 00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,145 - Wookiee. - He goes... 348 00:17:14,029 --> 00:17:15,870 They're all like, "That's a good point, Bear, 349 00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:17,903 - "let's try that." - He's a Wookiee, 350 00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:21,005 and his kind is actually more intelligent than they appear. 351 00:17:23,693 --> 00:17:25,816 That is Ted's favorite movie of all time. 352 00:17:25,936 --> 00:17:28,270 He watches it when he's home sick with the flu. 353 00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:31,319 He watches it on rainy Sunday afternoons in the fall. 354 00:17:31,674 --> 00:17:33,249 He watches it on Christmas Eve. 355 00:17:34,527 --> 00:17:37,428 Ted watches Star Wars in sickness and in health, 356 00:17:37,548 --> 00:17:39,338 in good times and in bad. 357 00:17:40,515 --> 00:17:44,036 Do you really think that you can pretend to like a movie that you actually hate 358 00:17:44,402 --> 00:17:45,881 for the rest of your life? 359 00:17:50,598 --> 00:17:51,598 I do. 360 00:17:53,512 --> 00:17:55,062 Then, Ted's a lucky guy. 361 00:18:00,061 --> 00:18:01,061 Bear. 362 00:18:05,187 --> 00:18:06,584 So, here's the deal. 363 00:18:06,704 --> 00:18:09,320 April, have... you met Barney? 364 00:18:12,615 --> 00:18:15,416 April just finished her shift, she's looking to blow off some steam. 365 00:18:17,613 --> 00:18:19,521 Would you excuse us for one sec? 366 00:18:20,831 --> 00:18:23,325 - What are you doing? - You were so nice to me tonight, 367 00:18:23,445 --> 00:18:25,759 I wanted to return the favor, wingwoman-style. 368 00:18:27,122 --> 00:18:28,345 So, as I was saying, 369 00:18:28,505 --> 00:18:30,867 Barney is the Yankees' new second-baseman. 370 00:18:30,987 --> 00:18:34,920 And Barney, April asked if tomorrow, you could hit a goal for her 371 00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:36,893 during the baseball match. 372 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,064 You can't make this stuff up. 373 00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:41,709 So, you two kids have fun. 374 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,697 So are you... nervous about the game? 375 00:18:46,857 --> 00:18:48,824 Yeah, I'm nervous for the other team 376 00:18:50,018 --> 00:18:51,911 'cause when I step up to that plate... 377 00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,582 I am not a New York Yankee. 378 00:18:57,743 --> 00:19:00,394 Any other night, I would probably try to convince you that I am, but I'm not. 379 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:03,853 I'm just some guy who's in love with the girl that just left, 380 00:19:04,401 --> 00:19:06,937 and she's never going to feel the same way. 381 00:19:09,236 --> 00:19:10,633 So I'm just going to go. 382 00:19:11,924 --> 00:19:13,322 And that was it. 383 00:19:13,442 --> 00:19:15,100 I'm so sorry, Barney. 384 00:19:17,429 --> 00:19:18,710 You can't give up. 385 00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:22,107 You know, it may take some time, but once Robin sees the new you... 386 00:19:23,352 --> 00:19:26,904 When my family gets to Yankee Stadium, are the tickets under your name or mine? 387 00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:29,554 My name, and tell your nephews to bring their mitts. 388 00:19:29,674 --> 00:19:31,492 They're going to be in foul ball country. 389 00:19:34,029 --> 00:19:37,206 Come on. The Robin stuff was completely true. 390 00:19:38,492 --> 00:19:39,710 Damn it, Barney. 391 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,939 I mean, for the last time, 392 00:19:42,059 --> 00:19:44,068 you can't... you can't 393 00:19:44,315 --> 00:19:46,365 be in love with Robin and still be sleeping 394 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,351 with every bimbo on the planet. 395 00:19:48,584 --> 00:19:50,136 You have to choose right now. 396 00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:53,764 - I choose bimbos. - What? 397 00:19:55,003 --> 00:19:58,213 Bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make me feel alive. 398 00:19:58,918 --> 00:20:02,565 Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. 399 00:20:03,042 --> 00:20:06,691 This whole thing with Robin was just a fling, but at the end of the day, 400 00:20:06,811 --> 00:20:08,194 my heart belongs to bimbos. 401 00:20:09,131 --> 00:20:11,949 This is just a defense mechanism, because 402 00:20:12,069 --> 00:20:15,202 you're afraid of getting hurt. You're just confused. 403 00:20:15,362 --> 00:20:16,998 Oh, I'm not confused. 404 00:20:17,737 --> 00:20:19,287 You know who is confused? 405 00:20:19,788 --> 00:20:20,788 Bimbos. 406 00:20:21,149 --> 00:20:23,876 They're easily confused. It's one of the thousand little things 407 00:20:23,996 --> 00:20:25,357 I love about them. 408 00:20:25,717 --> 00:20:27,660 I love their vacant, 409 00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:31,627 trusting stares, their sluggish, unencumbered minds, 410 00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:34,110 their unresolved daddy issues. 411 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,099 I love them and they love me. 412 00:20:37,914 --> 00:20:41,566 Bimbos have always been there for me, through thick and thin. 413 00:20:42,247 --> 00:20:44,398 Mostly thin. B- man don't do thick crust. 414 00:20:44,558 --> 00:20:45,524 What up? 415 00:20:45,684 --> 00:20:46,816 See you, Barney.