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Kids, in the fall of 2010,
it seemed like
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00:00:03,141 --> 00:00:06,076
Aunt Lily could only talk about
one thing: babies.
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00:00:06,077 --> 00:00:09,472
Oh, God, I have been craving
this burger all day.
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00:00:09,507 --> 00:00:11,431
Do you know what plays a huge role
5
00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:13,032
in helping a woman conceive? Hmm.
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00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:14,300
Cervical mucus.
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00:00:16,603 --> 00:00:18,805
Oh, my God, I can't
wait to see this movie.
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00:00:18,806 --> 00:00:19,972
I hear it's really scary.
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00:00:19,973 --> 00:00:21,107
Oh, change of plans.
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00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,109
I thought violent
images wouldn't be good
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00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,344
for my future fetus,
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00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:28,481
so instead, I rented this
video of a live water birth.
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They don't know what it is.
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00:00:32,486 --> 00:00:34,520
It just showed up
on my mom's X-ray.
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Look at this crib.
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But all in all,
it wasn't a problem.
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That is, until the night of
Barney's boutonniere.
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00:00:40,911 --> 00:00:42,061
Oh, you're wearing a flower.
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Thank you.
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Ah, didn't compliment.
Just observed. BARNEY: I know.
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Isn't it? Why are you wearing that?
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Why does Barney do anything ever?
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Exactly. Science.
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There is an 83% correlation
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00:00:52,573 --> 00:00:55,007
between the times men
wear boutonnieres
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00:00:55,008 --> 00:00:56,776
and the times they get laid. Hmm.
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00:00:56,777 --> 00:00:57,710
Think about it.
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00:00:57,711 --> 00:00:59,178
Proms, weddings.
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00:00:59,179 --> 00:01:00,279
Mm-hmm.
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Grandmas' funerals.
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00:01:01,348 --> 00:01:03,015
Thanks for the redhead, Nana.
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The "everyday boutonniere"
by Stinson.
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00:01:06,587 --> 00:01:07,820
And nope.
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00:01:07,821 --> 00:01:10,022
I'm sorry, Barney,
but no girl is going home
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00:01:10,023 --> 00:01:12,191
with a guy with a
flower on his chest.
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00:01:12,192 --> 00:01:15,228
Unless he's a clown,
and she's in the trunk of his car.
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Along with 50 other clowns.
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00:01:20,134 --> 00:01:22,468
It's a clown car. Oh.
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00:01:22,469 --> 00:01:24,036
Robin, did you know
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00:01:24,037 --> 00:01:27,006
that boutonniere is French for
"bootie is near?"
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00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:28,458
Hmm.
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00:01:28,459 --> 00:01:29,709
True story.
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00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,511
Une histoire vraie.
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00:01:31,512 --> 00:01:33,780
Hmm! Did you know
that Barney is French
45
00:01:33,781 --> 00:01:36,949
for "sad little guy who works
way too hard to get laid""
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Woman, you best check yourself.
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Yeah, on the bright side,
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I guess suits are pretty
boring without them, so...
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Madam...
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00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:45,291
that is an insult
that cannot be borne!
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00:01:45,292 --> 00:01:47,427
I demand satisfaction!
52
00:01:47,428 --> 00:01:49,195
What, are we gonna duel?
53
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:52,165
No. I'm going to show everyone
this embarrassing video of you.
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It's Robin Sparkles III, y'all!
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Transcript by Addic7ed.com
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Kids, by this point, we knew
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00:02:12,218 --> 00:02:13,819
Aunt Robin had been a
teen pop sensation
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00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:15,888
in Canada, known as
Robin Sparkles.
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00:02:15,889 --> 00:02:18,423
And we also knew that her Robin
Sparkles character
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00:02:18,424 --> 00:02:20,509
came from a Canadian TV show,
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00:02:20,510 --> 00:02:23,095
which we'd never seen...
until now.
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I cannot wait to see
what's on this DVD!
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00:02:25,665 --> 00:02:26,899
Oh, you haven't watched it yet?
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No, of course not.
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I wanted my first time to be
with someone I cared about.
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Sweet! I get that a lot.
Well, once.
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00:02:32,972 --> 00:02:34,106
Hey, Robin, do you want
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00:02:34,107 --> 00:02:36,341
to go get a Korean
massage on Saturday?
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00:02:36,342 --> 00:02:37,709
Oh, I'd love to.
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I've got this knot in my
neck that's so annoying.
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00:02:39,445 --> 00:02:41,513
Yeah, I figured I
should get one now
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because once I get pregnant,
no more massages.
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Just so annoying.
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00:02:45,418 --> 00:02:46,718
Okay.
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00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:52,124
Space Teens?!
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00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:53,625
Is this a porno?
77
00:02:53,626 --> 00:02:55,160
No, no. Dude, dude. Sweet!
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It's a kids' show.
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00:02:56,729 --> 00:02:58,413
Oh.
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Yeah! Yeah!
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00:03:02,418 --> 00:03:03,635
I don't know.
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00:03:03,636 --> 00:03:06,271
This does have all
the earmarks of porn.
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00:03:06,272 --> 00:03:07,973
Stripper pole, bad lighting,
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00:03:07,974 --> 00:03:09,441
delusional girl who thinks
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00:03:09,442 --> 00:03:11,310
it's a stepping stone
to mainstream success.
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00:03:11,311 --> 00:03:14,012
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's a big old bowl of pornflakes.
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00:03:21,254 --> 00:03:23,605
Whoa! And who is this
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00:03:23,606 --> 00:03:24,790
exquisite keytarist I assume
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00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,692
you're about to make sweet love to?
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00:03:26,693 --> 00:03:27,826
Oh, that's Jessica Glitter.
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00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:30,696
She was my BFF on the
show and in real life.
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00:03:30,697 --> 00:03:31,964
Ah, BFFs.
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00:03:31,965 --> 00:03:33,432
Did you guys have sleepovers?
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00:03:33,433 --> 00:03:35,300
Get mad at each other and wrestle,
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00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:37,619
but then end up kissing
in a tender embrace?
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00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,238
Here, show us on Lily.
Barney, you know what?
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00:03:39,239 --> 00:03:40,372
If you're going to be disgusting,
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we're not watching this, okay?
99
00:03:41,474 --> 00:03:42,741
Yeah. Come on, Barney.
100
00:03:42,742 --> 00:03:44,943
It's just a cute
little story about...
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00:03:44,944 --> 00:03:47,679
What exactly is this about?
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00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,381
Oh, two average Canadian teenagers
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00:03:49,382 --> 00:03:51,650
who solve crimes in
space using math.
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00:03:51,651 --> 00:03:53,051
That sounds ridiculous.
105
00:03:53,052 --> 00:03:54,386
So sue me.
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Like the producers of Milky
Way Mathletes tried to.
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00:04:05,782 --> 00:04:08,166
Great job using long division
108
00:04:08,167 --> 00:04:10,235
to catch that space burglar, eh?
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00:04:10,236 --> 00:04:11,603
Well, what can I say?
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He'll be in galactic jail for
the remainder of his life.
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00:04:17,477 --> 00:04:18,810
Sparkles, Glitter,
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00:04:18,811 --> 00:04:20,979
we're about to enter
an asteroid belt, eh.
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00:04:22,282 --> 00:04:23,948
Brace for turbulence!
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00:04:23,949 --> 00:04:26,468
Oh. Oh.
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I have to say, as much as I hate
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to agree with Barney,
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this does seem to be a
veritable pornucopia.
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Okay, guys, come on.
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00:04:34,694 --> 00:04:36,028
It's a kids' show!
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00:04:36,029 --> 00:04:38,680
Like Electric Company or
Sesame Street or, um...
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00:04:38,681 --> 00:04:39,898
You can't do that on television.
122
00:04:39,899 --> 00:04:40,766
Exactly.
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No.
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You can't do that on television!
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00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:49,441
Robin,
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this show is so dirty,
I don't know whether to hug you
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00:04:52,278 --> 00:04:55,180
or run a shower for you so
you can sit there alone,
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00:04:55,181 --> 00:04:56,515
crying and clenching your knees.
129
00:04:56,516 --> 00:04:58,750
It's just bad camera work, okay?
130
00:04:58,751 --> 00:05:01,219
Wayne, our camera guy--
he wasn't that great.
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00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:03,355
I don't know. I think he
did a pretty good job,
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00:05:03,356 --> 00:05:04,956
considering he was probably
only using one hand.
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00:05:06,159 --> 00:05:07,326
You know what?
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00:05:07,327 --> 00:05:09,961
I feel bad for you Americans,
that you can look
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00:05:09,962 --> 00:05:12,497
at this wondrous and educational
adventure through space,
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00:05:12,498 --> 00:05:14,232
and see something obscene.
137
00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:16,668
Can you just please
try to look at this
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00:05:16,669 --> 00:05:18,603
with the innocence of a child?
139
00:05:18,604 --> 00:05:20,572
Innocence of a child.
Innocence of a child.
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Coming up. Here we go.
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Girls, if you want
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00:05:23,976 --> 00:05:26,144
to get through the
asteroid belt, you've got
143
00:05:26,145 --> 00:05:27,779
to use multiplication.
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00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,948
To the joystick!
145
00:05:31,134 --> 00:05:34,019
Okay, Space Teens, let's multiply!
146
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,253
Five times six?
147
00:05:35,254 --> 00:05:36,355
Oh. 30.
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00:05:36,356 --> 00:05:37,589
Yes! Oh!
149
00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:38,824
Seven times four?
150
00:05:38,825 --> 00:05:41,159
28! Keep going!
151
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,427
Eight times nine?
152
00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:43,662
72!
153
00:05:43,663 --> 00:05:45,097
Don't stop now! Almost there!
154
00:05:45,098 --> 00:05:47,165
23 times three?
155
00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:49,568
Oh...
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00:05:49,569 --> 00:05:51,770
I'm sorry.
157
00:05:51,771 --> 00:05:52,971
We got to ration this.
158
00:05:52,972 --> 00:05:54,756
It's like we're on a desert island,
159
00:05:54,757 --> 00:05:57,142
and this video is a really hot,
naked chick,
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00:05:57,143 --> 00:06:00,095
and she's got, like,
seaweed on her and a seashell bra.
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You all feel me?
162
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,681
Hey,
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00:06:02,682 --> 00:06:04,216
if you and Jessica are BFFs,
164
00:06:04,217 --> 00:06:05,684
how come we've never met her?
165
00:06:05,685 --> 00:06:07,719
Okay, well, it was a
long time ago, okay?
166
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,788
I get a Christmas card
from her every year,
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00:06:09,789 --> 00:06:11,189
but we're not really
friends anymore.
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But BFFs are forever.
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00:06:12,925 --> 00:06:14,893
Oh, come on, Lily.
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00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:16,361
Nobody stays friends with
their high school friends.
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00:06:16,362 --> 00:06:17,796
I'm still friends with Punchy.
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00:06:17,797 --> 00:06:19,131
Dude, he lives in Cleveland.
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00:06:19,132 --> 00:06:21,433
You see him once a year,
at which point,
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he punches you really
hard in the arm
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00:06:23,436 --> 00:06:25,737
and tells everyone how
you dookied your pants.
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00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:27,439
I know, on paper he sounds great,
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00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,974
but you guys aren't really friends.
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00:06:28,975 --> 00:06:33,078
Look, I may not see him a lot,
but it doesn't matter.
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Observe.
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00:06:36,883 --> 00:06:39,017
Schmosby! Punchy!
181
00:06:39,018 --> 00:06:40,185
Schmosby! Punchy!
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00:06:40,186 --> 00:06:41,353
Schmosby! Punchy!
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00:06:41,354 --> 00:06:42,788
Schmoosby! Punchy!
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00:06:42,789 --> 00:06:44,089
Hey, good talking to you, Ted.
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00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:45,056
Yeah, you, too.
If you're ever in New York.
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00:06:45,057 --> 00:06:46,725
Definitely.
187
00:06:46,726 --> 00:06:50,929
We are just two peas.
188
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:52,297
I don't get it.
189
00:06:52,298 --> 00:06:54,699
How can you and Glitter
just stop being friends?
190
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,101
Best friends don't do that.
191
00:06:56,102 --> 00:06:57,969
Well, we did, okay?
And I haven't talked to her
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00:06:57,970 --> 00:06:59,504
in, like, five years,
so just drop it.
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00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:01,790
I got to go.
194
00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:06,778
Whoa.
195
00:07:06,779 --> 00:07:09,381
What do you think came
between Robin and Jessica?
196
00:07:09,382 --> 00:07:11,116
Much like our friends,
197
00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:12,617
the Space Teens,
198
00:07:12,618 --> 00:07:16,555
I think I can solve
this crime with math.
199
00:07:17,423 --> 00:07:20,976
Okay... Okay,
here is a Christmas card
200
00:07:20,977 --> 00:07:22,260
that Jessica sent Robin.
201
00:07:22,261 --> 00:07:24,596
Lily, how old would
you say that kid is?
202
00:07:24,597 --> 00:07:25,831
Four years, three months.
203
00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:27,933
Which means Jessica got
pregnant five years ago.
204
00:07:27,934 --> 00:07:30,669
Right around the time she and
Robin stopped being friends.
205
00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:32,871
Of course. Robin hates kids.
206
00:07:32,872 --> 00:07:34,372
The last thing she would want to do
207
00:07:34,373 --> 00:07:35,774
is hang out with some little brat.
208
00:07:35,775 --> 00:07:37,309
Thus, if I may...
209
00:07:38,611 --> 00:07:41,580
When Glitter's womb
a fruit did bear,
210
00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:46,685
Robin said, "To hell with this,
I'm outta hare."
211
00:07:48,721 --> 00:07:50,455
Glitter got pregnant,
so Robin dumped her.
212
00:07:50,456 --> 00:07:52,657
Oh. Oh, got... Wow.
213
00:07:52,658 --> 00:07:54,626
That's got to be it, right, Lil?
214
00:07:55,728 --> 00:07:56,628
Lil?
215
00:07:56,629 --> 00:07:58,930
Robin's gonna dump me!
216
00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:00,932
Oh, sweetheart.
217
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:02,400
Aha.
218
00:08:02,401 --> 00:08:04,469
When a second uterus
plumped becomes...
219
00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,638
Dude.
220
00:08:06,639 --> 00:08:08,840
Feel the room.
221
00:08:16,268 --> 00:08:18,552
No. We've been waiting all day!
222
00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:20,104
Just watch it without me.
223
00:08:20,105 --> 00:08:21,639
Two dudes on the couch
together watching porn?
224
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:22,940
That's kind of weird.
225
00:08:22,941 --> 00:08:24,909
Okay, it's not porn,
it's a kids' show.
226
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:27,878
Two dudes watching a kids'
show might be worse.
227
00:08:28,914 --> 00:08:30,047
Okay, fine, I'll watch it with you.
228
00:08:30,048 --> 00:08:31,482
Yeah! But if either of you
229
00:08:31,483 --> 00:08:33,517
makes even one peep about
the show being dirty,
230
00:08:33,518 --> 00:08:34,735
I'm turning it off.
231
00:08:34,736 --> 00:08:36,520
We... I'm serious.
232
00:08:38,573 --> 00:08:41,225
Hey Jessica, how's your beaver?
233
00:08:42,127 --> 00:08:43,427
Great.
234
00:08:43,428 --> 00:08:44,561
How's your beaver?
235
00:08:44,562 --> 00:08:47,198
Busy as ever!
236
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,034
Our characters had pet beavers.
237
00:08:50,035 --> 00:08:51,702
Sure.
238
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:54,538
The beaver is the
official animal of Canada.
239
00:08:55,774 --> 00:08:56,907
It's our national mascot.
240
00:08:57,976 --> 00:09:00,378
It's a noble creature.
241
00:09:00,379 --> 00:09:02,179
Okay, girls.
242
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:05,216
Everyone knows a beaver's
favorite food is wood.
243
00:09:05,217 --> 00:09:07,718
I just hope we brought
along enough of it
244
00:09:07,719 --> 00:09:09,586
for our three-day
galactic space journey.
245
00:09:09,587 --> 00:09:11,322
So let's do the math.
246
00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:13,274
If Robin's beaver devours
247
00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:15,393
six inches of wood every half hour,
248
00:09:15,394 --> 00:09:17,328
and Jessica's beaver
249
00:09:17,329 --> 00:09:20,398
devours eight inches of
wood every 45 minutes,
250
00:09:20,399 --> 00:09:22,066
how much wood will I need
251
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:26,036
to keep both of these beavers
well-fed all weekend long?
252
00:09:27,205 --> 00:09:29,073
While you figure it out at home,
253
00:09:29,074 --> 00:09:31,876
how about we sing you a
song about our beavers?
254
00:09:35,447 --> 00:09:36,647
Hey!
255
00:09:36,648 --> 00:09:38,783
No! You don't get to
hear the beaver song!
256
00:09:38,784 --> 00:09:40,618
It is a sweet song
about friendship,
257
00:09:40,619 --> 00:09:42,186
and you guys are being disgusting,
258
00:09:42,187 --> 00:09:43,454
and beavers are adorable!
259
00:09:43,455 --> 00:09:44,955
No arguments here.
260
00:09:49,561 --> 00:09:51,295
'Sup Shmosby!
261
00:09:52,848 --> 00:09:54,432
Punchy, what are you doing here?
262
00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:56,600
Well, yesterday you said
if I was ever in New York.
263
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:59,203
'Sup, turds?
264
00:10:00,238 --> 00:10:02,606
Okay, uh, uh,
where are you staying?
265
00:10:02,607 --> 00:10:03,774
In your mom's pants.
266
00:10:03,775 --> 00:10:05,009
Trick. She's old.
267
00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,210
Hey, don't worry
268
00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:08,312
about me. I'm cool on the couch.
269
00:10:08,313 --> 00:10:10,181
Whoa. He's staying here?
You're staying here?
270
00:10:10,182 --> 00:10:11,515
I know! It's so good, right?
271
00:10:11,516 --> 00:10:12,683
Feel like you're dreaming?
272
00:10:12,684 --> 00:10:13,884
But check your totem, brah.
273
00:10:13,885 --> 00:10:15,052
Punchy's here in the flesh.
274
00:10:15,053 --> 00:10:17,254
So, why don't we get
one of these, Ted?
275
00:10:17,255 --> 00:10:18,456
Yeah. Remember these?
276
00:10:18,457 --> 00:10:19,823
High school? Junior high? Yeah.
277
00:10:19,824 --> 00:10:21,175
Elementary school? Remember those?
278
00:10:21,176 --> 00:10:23,060
Look, look, Punchy's here.
Yeah, yeah.
279
00:10:24,129 --> 00:10:25,663
Hey, Schmosby,
remember when you dookied
280
00:10:25,664 --> 00:10:27,515
in your pants down by the lake?
281
00:10:27,516 --> 00:10:29,667
Unbelievable!
282
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:34,371
Hey, Schmosby, remember when
you dookied on our couch
283
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,774
in the form of your idiot
high school friend?
284
00:10:38,076 --> 00:10:40,945
Unbelievable!
285
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:42,613
Come on. I worry about the guy.
286
00:10:42,614 --> 00:10:44,081
He's had the same dead-end job
287
00:10:44,082 --> 00:10:46,183
at a car rental place for 15 years.
288
00:10:46,184 --> 00:10:47,084
Don't care.
289
00:10:47,085 --> 00:10:48,886
He's been stuck in Cleveland
290
00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:50,020
his whole life. Get a hotel.
291
00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:51,789
Robin...
292
00:10:51,790 --> 00:10:53,157
LeBron.
293
00:10:53,158 --> 00:10:55,025
Okay, one night.
294
00:10:55,627 --> 00:10:56,660
Got to go.
295
00:10:56,661 --> 00:10:58,379
Hey.
296
00:10:58,380 --> 00:10:59,830
Where are you going?
We just got here.
297
00:10:59,831 --> 00:11:00,998
Oh, a Korean massage.
298
00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:02,032
By yourself?
299
00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:03,534
Well, I figured you'd be busy,
300
00:11:03,535 --> 00:11:07,471
reading What to Expect When
You're Expecting to Expect.
301
00:11:07,472 --> 00:11:09,974
Guys, did you see that?
302
00:11:09,975 --> 00:11:12,226
She's going to a Korean
massage without me.
303
00:11:12,227 --> 00:11:14,044
That's our thing.
304
00:11:14,045 --> 00:11:16,146
I'm telling you,
she's gonna dump me,
305
00:11:16,147 --> 00:11:17,648
just like she dumped Glitter.
306
00:11:17,649 --> 00:11:19,683
Lily, come on. We don't even
know that's what happened.
307
00:11:19,684 --> 00:11:22,019
Um, hello, somebody
already solved that crime
308
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:23,320
using math, remember?
309
00:11:23,321 --> 00:11:24,455
Look, Lily.
310
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:26,123
Robin is clearly getting tired
311
00:11:26,124 --> 00:11:27,992
of you constantly
talking about babies.
312
00:11:27,993 --> 00:11:30,227
I don't.
313
00:11:30,228 --> 00:11:32,563
Lily, how old am I? 384 months.
314
00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:34,098
Busted!
315
00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:38,269
Okay. So before you
Lily all over the place,
316
00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:40,371
maybe you should try
hanging out with Robin
317
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:41,872
and not talking about babies.
318
00:11:41,873 --> 00:11:43,440
So Lily did just that.
319
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,509
She tried not to talk
about babies.
320
00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:47,578
Hey, Lily, what brings
you to the crib?
321
00:11:47,579 --> 00:11:49,213
Crib...
322
00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:50,915
What's the matter?
You look rattled.
323
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,750
Rattled?
324
00:11:52,751 --> 00:11:55,553
I want to talk about babies. What?
325
00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:57,805
Look, I know you don't
care about this stuff,
326
00:11:57,806 --> 00:11:59,957
but I'm about to become a mother.
327
00:11:59,958 --> 00:12:01,158
And as a future mother,
328
00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:02,977
I'm gonna need the support...
329
00:12:02,978 --> 00:12:05,296
Oh, my God! You're not
even pregnant yet.
330
00:12:05,297 --> 00:12:06,830
What's that supposed to mean?
331
00:12:06,831 --> 00:12:09,466
It means that a fertilized egg
has not yet attached itself
332
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,535
to the lining of your uterine wall.
333
00:12:11,536 --> 00:12:13,437
You see? I read your
Facebook updates.
334
00:12:13,438 --> 00:12:16,006
God, it's like it's all
you ever talk about, Lily,
335
00:12:16,007 --> 00:12:17,141
and I'm sick of it!
336
00:12:17,142 --> 00:12:19,043
Well, guess what?
I've got some good news.
337
00:12:19,044 --> 00:12:21,145
When that baby comes,
you don't have to see it.
338
00:12:21,146 --> 00:12:23,047
In fact, you don't have to see me.
339
00:12:23,048 --> 00:12:25,249
This whole friendship thing? Done.
340
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,650
Great. Great.
341
00:12:33,458 --> 00:12:35,292
For crying out loud.
342
00:12:35,293 --> 00:12:36,527
You broke up with Robin?
343
00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:38,795
I had to. We were growing apart,
344
00:12:38,796 --> 00:12:41,165
and we're better off
without each other.
345
00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:43,167
Okay, Lily, you sound about
as convincing as you did
346
00:12:43,168 --> 00:12:44,835
the time you
"accidentally" shredded
347
00:12:44,836 --> 00:12:46,670
my Joey Buttafuoco pants.
348
00:12:48,206 --> 00:12:50,441
No!
349
00:12:50,442 --> 00:12:53,911
Get on the phone,
call Robin and fix this.
350
00:12:53,912 --> 00:12:56,313
I can't. The damage is done.
351
00:12:57,482 --> 00:12:59,450
Can you just hold me?
352
00:12:59,451 --> 00:13:00,501
You know what? No.
353
00:13:00,502 --> 00:13:01,952
I don't agree with what you did,
354
00:13:01,953 --> 00:13:03,420
and so I refuse to comfort you,
355
00:13:03,421 --> 00:13:06,290
despite how adorable
you are when you cry.
356
00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:09,159
Okay.
357
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:13,097
Okay. Maybe just one cuddle,
but then that is it.
358
00:13:13,098 --> 00:13:15,299
Times Square's the bomb!
359
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,401
I got so many great pictures
of all the billboards.
360
00:13:17,402 --> 00:13:18,502
Yeah. You know,
361
00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:20,187
there's more to New
York than Times Square.
362
00:13:20,188 --> 00:13:23,007
There's the Village,
the Lower East Side, Central Park...
363
00:13:23,008 --> 00:13:24,908
They got better billboards
then the ones in Times Square?
364
00:13:24,909 --> 00:13:27,011
No.
365
00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:28,896
Times Square's the bomb!
366
00:13:28,897 --> 00:13:30,147
Here. You know what?
Hold this, okay?
367
00:13:30,148 --> 00:13:31,865
I'm going to go pee in the jar
368
00:13:31,866 --> 00:13:33,717
I got going in the alley.
369
00:13:36,321 --> 00:13:39,289
Seriously, dude, he has got to go.
370
00:13:39,290 --> 00:13:40,741
You need to be like,
371
00:13:40,742 --> 00:13:44,928
"You are the weakest link.
Goodbye."
372
00:13:44,929 --> 00:13:47,464
Punchy, the tribe has spoken.
373
00:13:47,465 --> 00:13:49,700
Please pack up your knives and go.
374
00:13:49,701 --> 00:13:51,001
Your work of art
375
00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:52,236
didn't work for us.
376
00:13:52,237 --> 00:13:53,337
Your time's up.
377
00:13:53,338 --> 00:13:54,338
I have to ask you
378
00:13:54,339 --> 00:13:55,589
to leave the mansion.
379
00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:57,775
You must leave the chateau.
380
00:13:57,776 --> 00:13:59,743
Your tour ends here.
381
00:13:59,744 --> 00:14:01,261
You've been chopped.
382
00:14:01,262 --> 00:14:02,429
Okay, yeah. I know.
383
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:03,547
You've been evicted
384
00:14:03,548 --> 00:14:05,082
from the Big Brother house.
385
00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:06,550
Your dessert just
didn't measure up.
386
00:14:06,551 --> 00:14:07,885
Sashay away.
387
00:14:07,886 --> 00:14:09,253
Give me your jacket
388
00:14:09,254 --> 00:14:10,821
and leave Hell's Kitchen.
389
00:14:10,822 --> 00:14:12,489
I'm sorry, you did not get a rose.
390
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:14,458
You have been eliminated
from the race.
391
00:14:14,459 --> 00:14:16,026
You are no longer in the running
392
00:14:16,027 --> 00:14:17,361
to be America's Next Top Model.
393
00:14:17,362 --> 00:14:18,495
You're fired.
394
00:14:18,496 --> 00:14:19,580
Auf Wiedersehen.
395
00:14:19,581 --> 00:14:22,966
Ted, come look at this.
396
00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:26,003
I found a little wounded
bird in the alley.
397
00:14:27,905 --> 00:14:28,956
That's your scrotum.
398
00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:31,709
You know what it is, Ted.
You know what it is.
399
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:33,610
Come on, Ted.
You always fall for that.
400
00:14:35,714 --> 00:14:37,214
Yeah, he's gotta go.
401
00:14:43,271 --> 00:14:44,972
What are we doing in
Madison Square Garden?
402
00:14:44,973 --> 00:14:46,557
Okay, you refused to talk to Robin.
403
00:14:46,558 --> 00:14:49,143
So I thought that you
might like to talk to...
404
00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:51,128
the organist for the
New York Rangers.
405
00:14:54,399 --> 00:14:55,999
Jessica Glitter?!
406
00:15:10,171 --> 00:15:11,972
How did you find Glitter?
407
00:15:11,973 --> 00:15:13,240
Simple, really.
408
00:15:13,241 --> 00:15:14,525
I used my powers of deduction.
409
00:15:14,526 --> 00:15:17,144
You see, I knew Glitter
used to be a keytarist,
410
00:15:17,145 --> 00:15:18,779
which is basically a piano,
411
00:15:18,780 --> 00:15:21,399
so I just made a list of all
the keyboard-based occupations
412
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,717
and then I cross-matched them...
413
00:15:22,718 --> 00:15:23,751
His friend Barney looked me up,
414
00:15:23,752 --> 00:15:26,087
hoping to buy my Space
Teens costume.
415
00:15:26,088 --> 00:15:27,688
Yo, Glitter...
416
00:15:27,689 --> 00:15:29,457
Be cool.
417
00:15:29,458 --> 00:15:31,859
So, is this the one who's
best friends with Robin now?
418
00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:35,162
More like ex-best friends.
419
00:15:35,163 --> 00:15:36,697
Just like you.
420
00:15:36,698 --> 00:15:39,166
I'm sorry to hear that.
421
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,935
I miss Robin.
422
00:15:42,337 --> 00:15:45,139
Yeah, well, Marshall and I
are about to get pregnant,
423
00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:47,475
and I know she
stopped being friends
424
00:15:47,476 --> 00:15:49,744
with you when you had a baby, so...
425
00:15:49,745 --> 00:15:51,645
Oh, Robin didn't stop
being friends with me.
426
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:53,647
I stopped being friends with her.
427
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,282
What? Why?
428
00:15:55,283 --> 00:15:56,751
Because I had a baby.
429
00:15:56,752 --> 00:15:57,952
Honey, when you have a baby,
430
00:15:57,953 --> 00:16:00,020
all that best friend stuff--
431
00:16:00,021 --> 00:16:03,324
hockey, bow hunting
for caribou, math--
432
00:16:03,325 --> 00:16:05,259
that all goes out the window.
433
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:06,727
I mean, I tried to
stay friends with her,
434
00:16:06,728 --> 00:16:08,229
but it just didn't happen.
435
00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,463
She took it pretty hard.
436
00:16:09,464 --> 00:16:12,366
I even thought she might
try to kill herself.
437
00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:16,771
Charge!
438
00:16:16,772 --> 00:16:19,607
Wow. You dumped her just
because you had a baby?
439
00:16:19,608 --> 00:16:20,908
That's cold.
440
00:16:20,909 --> 00:16:22,743
Didn't you do the same thing?
441
00:16:22,744 --> 00:16:24,512
Minus the baby?
442
00:16:24,513 --> 00:16:25,679
Oh, God.
443
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,080
I gotta go.
444
00:16:27,081 --> 00:16:29,100
I gotta go apologize to Robin.
445
00:16:29,101 --> 00:16:30,651
I- I need to tell her I love her,
446
00:16:30,652 --> 00:16:32,787
and that she'll
always be a priority.
447
00:16:32,788 --> 00:16:33,854
Be careful, Lily.
448
00:16:33,855 --> 00:16:35,456
I made those promises, too.
449
00:16:35,457 --> 00:16:39,193
And now I haven't even
talked to her in five years.
450
00:16:39,194 --> 00:16:42,663
Sure, I thought about
picking up the phone
451
00:16:42,664 --> 00:16:44,498
and calling her a hundred times,
452
00:16:44,499 --> 00:16:46,534
but I just never have the
courage to actually...
453
00:16:49,604 --> 00:16:51,705
Hey.
454
00:16:52,774 --> 00:16:54,875
Go ahead.
455
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:04,051
Hey, do you guys get Big Chuck
and Little John out here?
456
00:17:04,052 --> 00:17:05,352
Punchy, it's time to go back.
457
00:17:05,353 --> 00:17:06,987
Back to Times Square?!
458
00:17:06,988 --> 00:17:09,256
Uh, no. Back-Back to Cleveland.
459
00:17:09,257 --> 00:17:11,559
I don't know if I can do that, bro.
460
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,677
I mean, yeah, I've been
jonesing for a piece
461
00:17:13,678 --> 00:17:14,895
of Cleveland-style pizza,
462
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:17,198
but I feel bad about
leaving you out here.
463
00:17:17,199 --> 00:17:19,066
I worry about you, Ted.
464
00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:21,402
You worry about me?
465
00:17:21,403 --> 00:17:22,470
Yeah.
466
00:17:22,471 --> 00:17:23,871
The other day, when you called...
467
00:17:23,872 --> 00:17:25,639
Schmosby! Punchy!
468
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:26,941
Hey, good talking to you, Ted.
469
00:17:26,942 --> 00:17:27,875
Yeah. You, too.
If you're ever in New York...
470
00:17:27,876 --> 00:17:29,076
Definitely.
471
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:33,948
Sweetie, who was that?
472
00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:35,583
It was my friend Ted.
473
00:17:35,584 --> 00:17:37,501
He sounded kind of depressed.
474
00:17:37,502 --> 00:17:39,253
Is this the Ted who
got left at the altar?
475
00:17:39,254 --> 00:17:40,521
Yeah.
476
00:17:40,522 --> 00:17:42,356
He's not doing so good.
477
00:17:42,357 --> 00:17:45,693
Poor guy lives in a tiny
apartment in New York,
478
00:17:45,694 --> 00:17:47,394
nowhere near Times Square.
479
00:17:47,395 --> 00:17:48,762
He's got no family around.
480
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:51,198
He's still single,
doesn't have a backyard.
481
00:17:51,199 --> 00:17:52,833
It's just a bummer.
482
00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:55,503
Maybe you should go visit him.
Cheer him up a little.
483
00:17:55,504 --> 00:17:57,071
You know, buy him some shots,
484
00:17:57,072 --> 00:17:58,873
do the whole wounded bird trick.
485
00:17:58,874 --> 00:18:00,241
You think that would work?
486
00:18:00,242 --> 00:18:02,176
Worked on me.
487
00:18:04,713 --> 00:18:05,946
Wow.
488
00:18:05,947 --> 00:18:08,148
She sounds pretty great, Punchy.
489
00:18:08,149 --> 00:18:10,217
She's my angel.
490
00:18:11,019 --> 00:18:12,319
In fact, uh...
491
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,721
We're getting married.
492
00:18:13,722 --> 00:18:15,689
Wow! Wow!
493
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:18,592
That's-- I'm-I'm
really happy for you.
494
00:18:18,593 --> 00:18:20,044
Thanks, Ted. Thanks.
495
00:18:20,045 --> 00:18:22,429
Actually, that's the other
reason why I came out here.
496
00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:25,532
I wanted to see if
you'd be my best man.
497
00:18:27,369 --> 00:18:29,370
Of course I will.
498
00:18:29,371 --> 00:18:32,223
Yeah! That's great! No,
you're stupid.
499
00:18:32,224 --> 00:18:33,591
Dawg pound.
500
00:18:33,592 --> 00:18:35,092
Oh, that's it...
501
00:18:35,093 --> 00:18:37,411
That night, Lily went
to the one place
502
00:18:37,412 --> 00:18:38,729
she knew she could find Robin--
503
00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:42,149
New York's premiere Canadian bar,
the Hoser Hut.
504
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:43,901
Oh, there you are.
505
00:18:43,902 --> 00:18:46,387
Robin, I owe you a huge apology.
506
00:18:46,388 --> 00:18:47,721
No, okay? Me first.
507
00:18:47,722 --> 00:18:49,990
I've been pulling away from you,
and I'm sorry.
508
00:18:49,991 --> 00:18:52,860
It's just, the last time
my best friend had a baby--
509
00:18:52,861 --> 00:18:54,795
I know. I know all about it.
510
00:18:54,796 --> 00:18:57,398
It's not gonna happen
with you and me.
511
00:18:58,166 --> 00:18:59,366
And I'm sorry
512
00:18:59,367 --> 00:19:01,602
I've been going crazy
with this baby stuff.
513
00:19:01,603 --> 00:19:03,604
I know you hate babies.
514
00:19:03,605 --> 00:19:04,705
Whoa.
515
00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:06,507
Look, I hate most babies.
516
00:19:06,508 --> 00:19:08,575
But your baby?
517
00:19:08,576 --> 00:19:10,744
I'm gonna love that kid so much.
518
00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:13,097
I'm gonna pick it
up and everything.
519
00:19:13,098 --> 00:19:14,214
Oh...
520
00:19:14,215 --> 00:19:15,883
Aww.
521
00:19:15,884 --> 00:19:18,018
I'm so happy you guys made up.
522
00:19:18,019 --> 00:19:19,453
Me, too.
523
00:19:20,588 --> 00:19:21,689
Where do I know this song from?
524
00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:23,157
Oh, my God. It's the beaver song.
525
00:19:23,158 --> 00:19:24,692
Okay, which one of you put this on?
526
00:19:24,693 --> 00:19:27,628
* Hey, beaver, come on *
527
00:19:27,629 --> 00:19:32,399
* When you feel alone *
528
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,403
* Just pick up that phone *
529
00:19:36,404 --> 00:19:39,974
* And I'll be there to share my *
530
00:19:39,975 --> 00:19:43,877
ROBIN AND GLITTER:
* Ice cream cone *
531
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:47,581
* We'll lick it side by side *
532
00:19:47,582 --> 00:19:48,849
Wow. This is so dirty.
533
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:49,917
Come on, Barney.
534
00:19:49,918 --> 00:19:51,502
It's a sweet song about friendship.
535
00:19:51,503 --> 00:19:53,287
Yeah, dude, come on.
536
00:19:53,288 --> 00:19:56,056
* Day is done *
537
00:19:57,025 --> 00:20:01,128
* Two beavers are better than one *
538
00:20:01,129 --> 00:20:05,199
* Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah,
dah-dah, dah-dah, dah *
539
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,485
* Two beavers are better than one *
540
00:20:08,486 --> 00:20:09,937
* They're twice the fun *
541
00:20:09,938 --> 00:20:13,140
* Ask anyone *
542
00:20:13,141 --> 00:20:18,862
* A second beaver can
be second to none *
543
00:20:18,863 --> 00:20:22,416
* Two beavers are
better than one. *
544
00:20:23,484 --> 00:20:25,169
* Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah... *
545
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:28,522
* You're my favorite beaver... *
546
00:20:30,525 --> 00:20:33,410
* Two beavers are better than one *
547
00:20:33,411 --> 00:20:37,114
* Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah,
dah-dah, dah-dah, dah *
548
00:20:37,115 --> 00:20:40,617
* Two beavers are better than one *
549
00:20:40,618 --> 00:20:42,820
* They're twice the fun *
550
00:20:42,821 --> 00:20:44,187
* Ask anyone *
551
00:20:45,123 --> 00:20:46,657
* A second beaver *
552
00:20:46,658 --> 00:20:50,994
* Can be second to none *
553
00:20:50,995 --> 00:20:54,234
* Two beavers are
better than one. *
554
00:23:22,597 --> 00:23:25,065
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