1
00:00:02,528 --> 00:00:04,685
Kids, in April of 2013,
2
00:00:04,785 --> 00:00:06,535
your mother and I were
very close
3
00:00:06,537 --> 00:00:08,153
and yet very far apart.
4
00:00:08,155 --> 00:00:10,756
I was living on
West 82nd Street.
5
00:00:10,758 --> 00:00:12,925
She was up on West 115th.
6
00:00:12,927 --> 00:00:15,493
She was getting
a degree in economics.
7
00:00:15,495 --> 00:00:17,513
I was teaching architecture.
8
00:00:17,515 --> 00:00:18,714
I was always at MacLaren's.
9
00:00:18,716 --> 00:00:20,132
She was always...
10
00:00:20,134 --> 00:00:22,217
not spending
all her time in a bar.
11
00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:25,420
She was dating some
finance guy named Louis.
12
00:00:25,422 --> 00:00:27,439
And I...
13
00:00:27,441 --> 00:00:29,892
I was alone.
14
00:00:31,895 --> 00:00:33,312
Ted, get ready
to be surrounded by
15
00:00:33,314 --> 00:00:35,197
half-naked,
grease-covered bodies.
16
00:00:35,199 --> 00:00:37,733
And by grease,
I mean motor grease.
17
00:00:37,735 --> 00:00:41,153
We're going to
Robots vs. Wrestlers!
18
00:00:41,155 --> 00:00:44,323
Kids, you remember
Robots vs. Wrestlers.
19
00:00:44,325 --> 00:00:45,240
Forget everything
you remember
20
00:00:45,242 --> 00:00:46,491
about Robots
vs. Wrestlers.
21
00:00:46,493 --> 00:00:50,045
This is Robots vs. Wrestlers:
"Legends."
22
00:00:50,047 --> 00:00:53,298
Elderly wrestlers
fighting old-timey robots
23
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,367
in a wheelchair-accessible
wrestling ring.
24
00:00:55,369 --> 00:00:57,869
Why are we still sitting here?
25
00:00:57,871 --> 00:00:59,087
I got a big lecture tomorrow.
26
00:00:59,089 --> 00:01:00,538
Think I'm gonna
take it easy tonight.
27
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:02,758
Ted, trust me,
20 years from now,
28
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,445
you'll be glad you saw
Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends.
29
00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:08,981
I can't imagine
a world where that's possible.
30
00:01:08,983 --> 00:01:09,982
I'm serious.
31
00:01:09,984 --> 00:01:11,233
20 years from now,
32
00:01:11,235 --> 00:01:13,602
when my 26-year-old third wife
asks me about this...
33
00:01:13,604 --> 00:01:15,070
You make a lot of those jokes.
34
00:01:15,072 --> 00:01:16,305
I'm gonna say,
35
00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:18,423
"Yeah, it was awesome,
but you know the funny thing?
36
00:01:18,425 --> 00:01:20,442
Ted almost didn't go."
Hmm.
37
00:01:20,444 --> 00:01:22,894
"But thank God he did,
because it was a great night."
38
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:24,062
And then she
and I will
39
00:01:24,064 --> 00:01:25,397
adjourn to the Jacuzzi,
40
00:01:25,399 --> 00:01:27,399
where my fourth wife
will be waiting for us,
41
00:01:27,401 --> 00:01:28,900
already warming herself
up on the jets.
42
00:01:28,902 --> 00:01:30,619
Oh, Robin's here--
I'll tell you the rest later.
43
00:01:30,621 --> 00:01:32,570
Please do,
that story could go anywhere.
44
00:01:32,572 --> 00:01:33,538
Mwah.
45
00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:34,923
Hey, hello.
Hey.
46
00:01:34,925 --> 00:01:36,041
Here we are
at the bar
47
00:01:36,043 --> 00:01:37,242
once more.
48
00:01:38,094 --> 00:01:39,428
"What will I have to drink?"
you ask.
49
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,462
Hmm.
50
00:01:40,464 --> 00:01:41,579
Minnesota Tidal Wave.
51
00:01:41,581 --> 00:01:43,098
"What's that?" you ask.
52
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,216
Only the best cocktail ever.
53
00:01:44,218 --> 00:01:45,884
"Who invented it?" you ask.
54
00:01:46,419 --> 00:01:47,603
Me.
55
00:01:47,605 --> 00:01:49,271
And it's not
a girly drink.
56
00:01:49,273 --> 00:01:50,689
Lily, why would
you even say that?
57
00:01:50,691 --> 00:01:52,424
Girly drink.
58
00:01:52,426 --> 00:01:54,610
Hey, I am the least
girly girl on Earth,
59
00:01:54,612 --> 00:01:56,395
and I love
the Minnesota Tidal Wave.
60
00:01:56,397 --> 00:01:57,813
Thank you, Robin.
61
00:01:57,815 --> 00:01:59,731
Matter of fact,
I'm going to go order one
62
00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:01,599
right now
with my head held high.
63
00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:02,600
Lily.
64
00:02:02,602 --> 00:02:04,069
You want me to
order it for you?
65
00:02:04,071 --> 00:02:05,270
Yes, please,
thank you, baby.
66
00:02:08,858 --> 00:02:10,993
Ted, let me tell you
the secret to life.
67
00:02:10,995 --> 00:02:12,110
Hmm.
68
00:02:12,112 --> 00:02:13,912
Every time I make a decision
about what to do
69
00:02:13,914 --> 00:02:16,081
on a given night, I ask myself,
70
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:19,751
"What would make the best memory
20 years from now?"
71
00:02:19,753 --> 00:02:22,955
So I let 20-Years-From-Now-
Barney call the shots.
72
00:02:22,957 --> 00:02:24,289
And it always works out.
73
00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:26,425
And 20-Years-From-Now-Barney
74
00:02:26,427 --> 00:02:28,810
thinks we should go
to Robots vs. Wrestlers?
75
00:02:28,812 --> 00:02:29,828
I don't know.
76
00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:30,796
Let's ask him.
77
00:02:30,798 --> 00:02:31,980
Close your eyes, Ted.
78
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,550
Okay, now open them.
79
00:02:35,552 --> 00:02:36,518
Barney, I swear to God,
80
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:37,969
if I open my eyes
and your bare ass
81
00:02:37,971 --> 00:02:39,521
is an inch away
from my face again...
82
00:02:39,523 --> 00:02:42,007
Just open your eyes.
83
00:02:46,079 --> 00:02:47,896
Ted, I'd like you to meet
20-Years-From-Now-Barney.
84
00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:49,581
20-Years-From-Now-Barney,
you remember Ted.
85
00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:51,700
'Sup?
86
00:02:51,766 --> 00:02:55,766
♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x20 ♪
The Time Travelers
Original Air Date on March 25, 2013
87
00:02:55,791 --> 00:03:00,791
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
88
00:03:04,514 --> 00:03:05,847
Hey, Ted.
89
00:03:05,849 --> 00:03:07,065
What's this
I hear-slash-remember
90
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:10,235
about you not wanting to
see Robots vs. Wrestlers?
91
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:12,020
Yeah, it's just that I
don't want to see it.
92
00:03:12,022 --> 00:03:14,022
You don't...
I know.
93
00:03:14,024 --> 00:03:15,107
He doesn't...
I know.
94
00:03:16,310 --> 00:03:20,195
Ted, trust us,
it's gonna be legend--
95
00:03:20,197 --> 00:03:22,397
wait 20 years for it...
96
00:03:22,399 --> 00:03:23,348
...dary!
97
00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:25,784
Legendary!
Legendary!
98
00:03:25,786 --> 00:03:26,902
Okay, uh,
I'm gonna go home.
99
00:03:26,904 --> 00:03:28,036
No, Ted, look.
Come on!
100
00:03:28,038 --> 00:03:29,204
If you don't
believe that
101
00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:30,355
Robots vs. Wrestlers
102
00:03:30,357 --> 00:03:31,907
is gonna be
a life-changing event,
103
00:03:31,909 --> 00:03:35,711
maybe you'll believe
20-Years-From-Now-Ted.
104
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:37,846
Whoa.
105
00:03:37,848 --> 00:03:39,214
'Sup?
106
00:03:39,216 --> 00:03:40,198
Wow.
107
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,367
Wow, so many
things all at once.
108
00:03:42,369 --> 00:03:43,868
But most
importantly...
109
00:03:43,870 --> 00:03:45,420
I don't go bald?
110
00:03:45,422 --> 00:03:47,039
Nope.
111
00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:48,223
And neither do I.
112
00:03:48,225 --> 00:03:49,374
Eeh...
113
00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:51,876
Ted, listen to me.
114
00:03:51,878 --> 00:03:54,429
You, listen to you.
115
00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,181
Me.
116
00:03:56,183 --> 00:03:58,350
You got to go to Robots
vs. Wrestlers: Legends.
117
00:03:58,352 --> 00:04:00,602
Trust me,
you will regret it if you don't.
118
00:04:00,604 --> 00:04:02,104
So, what,
do I go bald or something?
119
00:04:02,106 --> 00:04:03,221
Is that a toupee?
120
00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:04,222
Ted,
121
00:04:04,224 --> 00:04:05,524
scalp check!
Can't Robin do this?
122
00:04:05,526 --> 00:04:07,109
Come on, you've been
doing it for years.
123
00:04:07,111 --> 00:04:08,443
You know the frame
of reference.
124
00:04:08,445 --> 00:04:09,745
Scalp check!
125
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:12,748
Hmm, that's odd.
126
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,667
Little early in the week
for scalp check.
127
00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:16,901
Five tablespoons of sugar,
128
00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:19,121
a whisper
of vanilla vodka
129
00:04:19,123 --> 00:04:20,172
and you're done.
130
00:04:20,174 --> 00:04:21,873
Maraschino cherries.
131
00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:24,543
Oh, and a handful of
maraschino cherries on top.
132
00:04:24,545 --> 00:04:26,344
Wait, you're ordering
a Robin Scherbatsky.
133
00:04:26,346 --> 00:04:27,512
Why didn't you just say that?
134
00:04:29,349 --> 00:04:31,183
One second
there, barkeep.
135
00:04:31,185 --> 00:04:32,083
Unless I'm mistaken,
136
00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:33,635
the drink this
lady just ordered
137
00:04:33,637 --> 00:04:36,304
is called the
Minnesota Tidal Wave.
138
00:04:36,306 --> 00:04:38,039
Origin unknown.
139
00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:40,392
Oh, well, you know, Robin's been
ordering them so much lately
140
00:04:40,394 --> 00:04:41,610
that we named it after her.
141
00:04:41,612 --> 00:04:43,678
You named a drink after me?
142
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,113
Right there in the menu.
143
00:04:45,115 --> 00:04:46,431
Congrats.
144
00:04:53,706 --> 00:04:55,957
I can't drink this.
145
00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,209
That's better.
146
00:04:57,211 --> 00:04:59,944
I'm still seething,
but that's better.
147
00:05:01,131 --> 00:05:02,631
Okay,
20-Years-From-Now-Me,
148
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:04,216
level with me.
149
00:05:04,218 --> 00:05:06,718
You. Us.
150
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,503
Is Robots vs.
Wrestlers worth it?
151
00:05:08,505 --> 00:05:11,056
It was the single
greatest night of my life.
152
00:05:11,058 --> 00:05:12,724
Even greater
than your wedding?
153
00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:14,860
Well, I mean,
when I get married,
154
00:05:14,862 --> 00:05:16,511
that'll be the
greatest night of my life.
155
00:05:16,513 --> 00:05:18,180
But who knows when
that's going to happen?
156
00:05:18,182 --> 00:05:20,315
Oh, my God, you
still haven't...
157
00:05:20,317 --> 00:05:21,800
Man, I hope
I meet her soon.
158
00:05:21,802 --> 00:05:23,652
Oh, God, what is
wrong with me?!
159
00:05:23,654 --> 00:05:25,020
I'm sorry!
160
00:05:25,022 --> 00:05:26,655
I'm just messing
with you!
161
00:05:26,657 --> 00:05:28,857
Now, come on, are
we going or what?
162
00:05:28,859 --> 00:05:30,575
Fine, let's go.
163
00:05:30,577 --> 00:05:31,776
Yeah!
164
00:05:32,612 --> 00:05:34,079
Not so fast.
165
00:05:34,081 --> 00:05:36,798
Barney, Ted,
20-Years-From-Now-Barney,
166
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,099
20-Years-From-Now-Ted.
167
00:05:38,101 --> 00:05:38,934
Who are you?
168
00:05:38,936 --> 00:05:41,720
I'm 20-Hours-From-Now-Ted.
169
00:05:41,722 --> 00:05:44,322
And you bastards
aren't going anywhere.
170
00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:51,776
So, you're the Ted
from 20 hours from now?
171
00:05:51,876 --> 00:05:52,859
Shh.
172
00:05:52,861 --> 00:05:55,445
Just... shh.
173
00:05:55,447 --> 00:05:56,529
You okay?
174
00:05:56,531 --> 00:05:58,131
No, I'm not okay.
175
00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,750
This dummy's about to go
to Robots vs. Wrestlers--
176
00:06:00,752 --> 00:06:02,368
and yes, it'll be awesome...
177
00:06:02,370 --> 00:06:04,487
See?
178
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,571
...at first.
179
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,206
But then
you're gonna drink way too much,
180
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:09,158
hence the headache.
181
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,460
Then you're gonna
jump into the ring
182
00:06:10,462 --> 00:06:12,628
and sprain your wrist,
hence the splint.
183
00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:13,679
And then afterwards,
you're gonna smoke
184
00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:14,997
half a pack of cigarettes,
hence the...
185
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,301
Well, that's the sound
a good time.
186
00:06:18,303 --> 00:06:20,803
And 20 hours from now,
when you're me,
187
00:06:20,805 --> 00:06:21,804
you're gonna want
to come back here,
188
00:06:21,806 --> 00:06:24,390
right to this very spot,
right now,
189
00:06:24,392 --> 00:06:26,008
and smack yourself
upside the head.
190
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,477
Yeah, but obviously
I wouldn't do that
191
00:06:27,479 --> 00:06:28,644
'cause I'd only be
smacking myself--
192
00:06:28,646 --> 00:06:30,346
Ow!
193
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,599
Don't do this to me, Ted.
Don't do this to us.
194
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,535
Don't listen to yourself,
Present-Day-Ted.
195
00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:38,654
It's a day of pain
for a lifetime of memories.
196
00:06:38,656 --> 00:06:40,289
20-Hours-From-Now-Me,
197
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,409
just tell me one
thing: do I hurl?
198
00:06:43,411 --> 00:06:45,578
Yeah, kid.
199
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:47,213
You hurl.
200
00:06:47,215 --> 00:06:48,364
A lot?
201
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,083
Remember when Mom
202
00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:52,418
bought the beef
from the Price Club?
203
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:54,504
Okay, how about this:
204
00:06:54,506 --> 00:06:56,722
we go to
Robots vs. Wrestlers,
205
00:06:56,724 --> 00:06:59,642
but I don't
drink too much?
206
00:06:59,644 --> 00:07:00,960
Interesting.
207
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:01,978
I'm good with that.
208
00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:03,212
No, forget it.
209
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,647
If Ted
doesn't get wasted,
210
00:07:04,649 --> 00:07:06,182
there's no way
he'll end up making out
211
00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:08,651
with that surprisingly
realistic-looking female robot.
212
00:07:08,653 --> 00:07:10,553
Wait, I kiss
a female robot?
213
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,021
Oh, you do a lot
more than that.
214
00:07:12,023 --> 00:07:15,191
Now, look, nobody is
saying you need alcohol
215
00:07:15,193 --> 00:07:17,160
to have an exciting
and memorable night.
216
00:07:17,162 --> 00:07:19,245
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
217
00:07:19,247 --> 00:07:21,998
But in this case, yeah,
you kind of have to be wasted.
218
00:07:24,285 --> 00:07:26,002
You drink beers
in cans still.
219
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:27,620
It makes the robot scarier.
220
00:07:28,505 --> 00:07:30,256
They named
my drink after her.
221
00:07:30,258 --> 00:07:31,624
The Minnesota Tidal Wave.
222
00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:32,875
It's my usual.
223
00:07:32,877 --> 00:07:34,093
Immaterial!
224
00:07:34,095 --> 00:07:35,711
If it's gonna be named
after anybody,
225
00:07:35,713 --> 00:07:37,513
it should be called
The Marshall Eriksen.
226
00:07:37,515 --> 00:07:39,599
Sorry, it's
The Robin Scherbatsky.
227
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:40,749
Read it and weep.
228
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,418
Oh, so you're gonna
Zuckerberg me?
229
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,352
That it?
230
00:07:43,354 --> 00:07:44,753
You're Zuckerberging me?
231
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:45,454
That's fine.
232
00:07:45,456 --> 00:07:47,106
I'll see you in court.
233
00:07:47,108 --> 00:07:49,158
Little court known
as the dance floor.
234
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,693
Dance-off. Now.
235
00:07:50,695 --> 00:07:51,760
No, no dancing.
236
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,596
Marshall,
we've been through this.
237
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,598
The doctor said your
dancer's hip is worse than ever.
238
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,617
You have to lay off dancing
for a while.
239
00:07:57,619 --> 00:07:59,452
You're killing me, Lily!
240
00:07:59,454 --> 00:08:01,487
You're killing me!
241
00:08:01,489 --> 00:08:02,605
I'm an adult.
242
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,123
You have to let me dance
my own battles.
243
00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:05,875
Marshall, there's not gonna be
a dance-off
244
00:08:05,877 --> 00:08:07,109
because the name is staying.
245
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,445
Period, end of story.
246
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,632
I just like having
my name on something.
247
00:08:12,634 --> 00:08:14,050
Oh, you do?
248
00:08:14,052 --> 00:08:16,085
Oh, that's great, Robin.
249
00:08:16,087 --> 00:08:18,087
Then that's what you will get.
250
00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:20,173
That's...
251
00:08:20,175 --> 00:08:22,175
what you...
252
00:08:22,177 --> 00:08:24,560
will get.
253
00:08:26,129 --> 00:08:28,598
Mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm.
254
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,316
Oh, hey, Robin.
255
00:08:30,318 --> 00:08:32,301
You here "for a good time"?
256
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,237
Classic.
257
00:08:34,239 --> 00:08:35,804
Did you write my number
in the men's room?
258
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:38,107
It...
Well, I don't know.
259
00:08:38,109 --> 00:08:39,642
I guess you'll never know
unless you go in there,
260
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,776
which I highly
doubt that...
261
00:08:40,778 --> 00:08:42,111
There she goes.
262
00:08:42,113 --> 00:08:43,646
Okay, boys.
263
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,482
Close your eyes
and zip your flies.
264
00:08:52,372 --> 00:08:54,657
Hi. Don't mind me.
265
00:08:57,377 --> 00:08:59,011
I don't think
you should have done that.
266
00:08:59,013 --> 00:09:01,297
Lily, I know what I'm doing,
all right?
267
00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:02,431
I'm a lawyer.
268
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:04,050
I've thought about
every possible scenario.
269
00:09:04,052 --> 00:09:05,551
I'm ten steps ahead of...
270
00:09:08,004 --> 00:09:09,639
Where's she going?
271
00:09:09,641 --> 00:09:11,057
Probably into the ladies' room
272
00:09:11,059 --> 00:09:12,675
to write something on the wall
about you.
273
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,060
Nobody writes things
274
00:09:14,062 --> 00:09:15,361
on the walls
of the ladies' room.
275
00:09:15,363 --> 00:09:17,029
Have you been
in the ladies' room?
276
00:09:17,031 --> 00:09:18,447
Of course not.
277
00:09:18,449 --> 00:09:21,350
Lily, I know that I have the
sexual charisma of a bad boy,
278
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,737
but I certainly don't have
the manners of one.
279
00:09:26,073 --> 00:09:27,022
What'd you write in there?
280
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,158
Why don't you
go in and look?
281
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,360
You know I can't do that, Robin.
282
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,545
Lily, can you go look?
283
00:09:32,547 --> 00:09:35,915
Oh, I thought you wanted
to dance your own battles.
284
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:39,585
Ladies,
put your blouses back on!
285
00:09:39,587 --> 00:09:42,672
I'm coming in!
286
00:09:47,261 --> 00:09:48,644
Dear Marshall,
287
00:09:48,646 --> 00:09:50,746
I know this is a strange way
to apologize,
288
00:09:50,748 --> 00:09:54,150
but I'm sorry I let Carl
name your drink after me.
289
00:09:54,152 --> 00:09:55,818
Why didn't I say something?
290
00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:58,387
Gosh, I guess that goes back
to my childhood.
291
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,057
Okay, guys.
292
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,076
Let's go to
Robots vs. Wrestlers.
293
00:10:04,078 --> 00:10:04,944
Huzzah!
Now you're talking!
294
00:10:04,946 --> 00:10:05,894
Here we go.
295
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,163
Nope, sit down.
296
00:10:07,165 --> 00:10:08,664
Everybody sit down.
297
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:09,749
Okay, who are you?
298
00:10:09,751 --> 00:10:12,702
Hello, Ted, Barney,
20-Hours-From-Now-Ted,
299
00:10:12,704 --> 00:10:14,920
20-Years-From-Now-Ted,
20-Years-From-Now-Barney.
300
00:10:14,922 --> 00:10:16,422
Hey, how's it going?
301
00:10:16,424 --> 00:10:18,374
Allow me to introduce myself.
302
00:10:18,376 --> 00:10:20,543
I'm 20-Minutes-From-Now-Barney,
303
00:10:20,545 --> 00:10:22,378
and I have got something
very important to...
304
00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:25,548
What's the stain
on your shirt, bro?
305
00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:27,767
Please, please, I really do have
something very important to...
306
00:10:28,936 --> 00:10:30,919
You look stupid.
307
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,254
Here's your spaghetti.
308
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,056
And be careful...
309
00:10:35,609 --> 00:10:37,310
...with the meatball.
310
00:10:39,446 --> 00:10:41,864
And that's the only time
my father
311
00:10:41,866 --> 00:10:43,599
ever said he was proud of me.
312
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,535
Maybe that's why I stole credit
for your drink.
313
00:10:46,537 --> 00:10:47,620
Maybe that's why
314
00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:50,289
I needed to pour my heart out
like this.
315
00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:52,925
Or, maybe I wrote this
so you'd be in here long enough
316
00:10:52,927 --> 00:10:55,294
for a lady to walk in,
causing you to freak out
317
00:10:55,296 --> 00:10:56,479
and hide in the stall.
318
00:10:57,665 --> 00:10:59,415
So, you got a text message?
Yeah.
319
00:11:02,886 --> 00:11:03,952
Whoa.
320
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:07,023
Try to get some
in your mouth next time.
321
00:11:07,025 --> 00:11:09,091
Okay, everybody, listen up.
322
00:11:09,093 --> 00:11:10,159
When I walked in here,
323
00:11:10,161 --> 00:11:11,694
I was 20-Minutes-
From-Now-Barney.
324
00:11:11,696 --> 00:11:13,162
But that was 19 minutes
325
00:11:13,164 --> 00:11:14,697
and some serious
acid reflux--
326
00:11:14,699 --> 00:11:17,500
who orders spaghetti
at an Irish bar?-- ago.
327
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:18,634
Now,
328
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,319
I'm 20-Seconds-
From-Now-Barney,
329
00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:22,321
and I'm telling you,
watch that door.
330
00:11:22,323 --> 00:11:23,155
Why?
331
00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:26,258
That's why.
332
00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:29,395
Um, oh.
333
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,314
In-in, like,
12 seconds.
334
00:11:34,334 --> 00:11:36,252
Your skin looks great.
335
00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:37,703
Thanks.
336
00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:40,005
And thank you for taking
such good care of it.
337
00:11:40,007 --> 00:11:41,156
Shh.
338
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,958
That's why.
339
00:11:53,409 --> 00:11:54,409
Who is that?
340
00:11:54,411 --> 00:11:55,677
She's the coat check girl
341
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,979
from that dance club
we went to seven years ago.
342
00:11:57,981 --> 00:11:59,314
You remember that night.
343
00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:00,765
When Barney grinded
with his cousin.
344
00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:03,685
Oh, man, you remember that
20 years from now?
345
00:12:03,687 --> 00:12:05,653
He won't let anyone forget.
346
00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:06,788
Coat check girl.
347
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:09,140
I always meant to go
back to that club
348
00:12:09,142 --> 00:12:11,309
and get her number,
but I didn't.
349
00:12:11,311 --> 00:12:13,428
And now she's here?
350
00:12:13,430 --> 00:12:16,731
She's in this bar
seven years later?
351
00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:18,616
I-I can't believe this.
352
00:12:18,618 --> 00:12:20,869
So, wait, do you guys think
I should go talk to her?
353
00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:22,537
Are you kidding me?
Yes, go...
354
00:12:22,539 --> 00:12:23,604
How many different ways...
Idiot.
355
00:12:23,606 --> 00:12:26,658
Hello?
356
00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:29,711
Is anybody out there?
357
00:12:32,131 --> 00:12:34,916
Sounds like the coast is clear.
358
00:12:38,671 --> 00:12:40,621
No, no, wait!
359
00:12:40,623 --> 00:12:41,622
Please, it's not my fault!
360
00:12:41,624 --> 00:12:42,841
I was tricked!
361
00:12:42,843 --> 00:12:44,175
Not cool, Marshall.
362
00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:45,643
This is a nice bar.
363
00:12:45,645 --> 00:12:47,846
Girls come here, they just want
to relax with their friends,
364
00:12:47,848 --> 00:12:50,148
maybe have
a few Robin Scherbatskys,
365
00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:51,632
and not have to
worry out some guy
366
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:54,686
pulling a Marshall Eriksen
in the bathroom.
367
00:12:54,688 --> 00:12:57,655
No, no, no, I know. I just...
368
00:12:57,657 --> 00:13:01,476
Wait a minute,
did you just use my name
369
00:13:01,478 --> 00:13:03,661
as shorthand
for a guy being creepy?
370
00:13:03,663 --> 00:13:04,746
Yep.
371
00:13:04,748 --> 00:13:06,147
Well, you know what, Carl?
372
00:13:06,149 --> 00:13:07,866
I think that you are making
373
00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,701
a broad
and prejudicial assumption.
374
00:13:09,703 --> 00:13:12,087
So next time I meet a guy
who just goes around
375
00:13:12,089 --> 00:13:13,654
rushing to judgment,
I'm gonna say,
376
00:13:13,656 --> 00:13:16,875
"Hey, that guy's being
a real Carl..."
377
00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:21,346
You don't know my last name.
378
00:13:21,348 --> 00:13:23,348
You've been drinking
here for years,
379
00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:24,632
and you don't know my last name.
380
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:27,936
I will name every drink
in this bar after you
381
00:13:27,938 --> 00:13:30,105
if you can tell me my last name.
382
00:13:30,107 --> 00:13:31,189
Well, that just seems confusing.
383
00:13:31,191 --> 00:13:33,141
How will you know
what people are ordering?
384
00:13:34,143 --> 00:13:35,477
What's my last name, Marshall?
385
00:13:35,479 --> 00:13:37,612
It's Carl...
386
00:13:43,035 --> 00:13:44,536
...'s Junior.
387
00:13:45,571 --> 00:13:47,455
Okay, wish me luck,
everyone.
388
00:13:47,457 --> 00:13:49,690
Break a leg...
389
00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,218
What the hell?
390
00:14:01,703 --> 00:14:03,221
Do not talk to her.
391
00:14:03,223 --> 00:14:04,556
What-what... Who are you?
392
00:14:04,558 --> 00:14:07,208
We are 20-Months-From-Now-
Coat-Check-Girl.
393
00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:08,426
But there's two of you.
394
00:14:08,428 --> 00:14:10,728
Right, because if you go
over there and you talk to her,
395
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,764
20 months from now, it's gonna
end in one of two ways.
396
00:14:12,766 --> 00:14:14,599
Either you are gonna
get sick of me.
397
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,017
I made you muffins
398
00:14:16,019 --> 00:14:18,553
because of your
nickname: Muffin.
399
00:14:18,555 --> 00:14:20,188
Or...
400
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,574
I am gonna get sick of you
and your stupid habits.
401
00:14:22,576 --> 00:14:24,659
Stop DVR-ing the news.
You're never gonna catch up.
402
00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:25,693
Oh, stop it,
403
00:14:25,695 --> 00:14:27,095
you're scaring him off.
404
00:14:27,097 --> 00:14:28,913
By the way,
I'm pregnant.
405
00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:30,114
No, she's not.
406
00:14:30,116 --> 00:14:31,199
Okay, no, I'm not,
407
00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:33,117
but that made you happy
for a second, right?
408
00:14:33,902 --> 00:14:35,386
Please shut up.
Okay, wait,
409
00:14:35,388 --> 00:14:38,206
so you're saying
it's doomed completely?
410
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:41,092
One of us is just guaranteed
to get sick of the other
411
00:14:41,094 --> 00:14:42,677
and call it quits?
412
00:14:42,679 --> 00:14:44,579
You've been dating
for a long time, Ted.
413
00:14:44,581 --> 00:14:47,232
Has it ever gone
any other way?
414
00:15:09,206 --> 00:15:10,288
Look at this one.
415
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:11,439
Thank you so much.
416
00:15:11,441 --> 00:15:12,657
Hey.
417
00:15:12,659 --> 00:15:14,142
Hey, you look kind of down.
418
00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:17,662
Have a Robin Scherbatsky,
on me.
419
00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:20,448
None of this would have happened
if Lily had let me dance.
420
00:15:22,135 --> 00:15:24,752
Baby, wait.
421
00:15:24,754 --> 00:15:26,087
God, you're still clinging
to that?
422
00:15:26,089 --> 00:15:27,555
Marshall, it doesn't matter,
423
00:15:27,557 --> 00:15:29,841
'cause you'd lose anyway,
and you know why?
424
00:15:29,843 --> 00:15:31,759
'Cause I'm Sparkles,
bitch.
425
00:15:31,761 --> 00:15:33,928
Oh, and you think
you can step to me?
426
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,897
You think you can step
up to the streets?
427
00:15:35,899 --> 00:15:37,181
To me?
428
00:15:37,183 --> 00:15:40,602
You think you can step up
over me to the streets?
429
00:15:40,604 --> 00:15:42,487
I guess we'll never know
because you are not allowed...
430
00:15:42,489 --> 00:15:43,471
Wait, wait.
431
00:15:44,807 --> 00:15:47,442
That's my jam.
432
00:15:47,444 --> 00:15:49,360
Who's playing my jam?
433
00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:51,195
♪ Like you carry dairy there
♪ Carry dairy there ♪
434
00:15:51,197 --> 00:15:53,314
♪ Heinie heinie heinie ho
♪ Heinie heinie heinie ho ♪
435
00:15:53,316 --> 00:15:55,583
♪ Work your derriere
♪ Work your derriere ♪
436
00:15:55,585 --> 00:15:56,984
Dance-off.
437
00:15:56,986 --> 00:15:58,536
You're on.
438
00:15:59,638 --> 00:16:00,788
♪ Work that booty
439
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:02,006
♪ Work that booty,
work that booty ♪
440
00:16:02,008 --> 00:16:03,174
♪ Work that booty
441
00:16:03,176 --> 00:16:05,176
♪ You got that pretty
brown round ♪
442
00:16:05,178 --> 00:16:07,428
♪ Want both hands
all on them chocolate mounds ♪
443
00:16:07,430 --> 00:16:09,097
♪ Give you my Almond Joy...
444
00:16:09,099 --> 00:16:10,548
Oh.
445
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,100
I think I'm gonna head home.
446
00:16:12,102 --> 00:16:13,384
I understand.
447
00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:15,103
What, you're not gonna try
and stop me?
448
00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:17,272
And how would I try
and stop you?
449
00:16:17,274 --> 00:16:20,608
I don't know, by telling me
life is short,
450
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:22,610
and if you ever come
across a beautiful,
451
00:16:22,612 --> 00:16:24,195
exciting, crazy moment in it,
452
00:16:24,197 --> 00:16:26,281
you got to seize it
while you can
453
00:16:26,283 --> 00:16:27,682
before that moment's gone?
454
00:16:27,684 --> 00:16:31,069
Ted, this moment
already is gone.
455
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,855
The whole
Minnesota Tidal Wave thing
456
00:16:33,857 --> 00:16:35,239
happened five years ago.
457
00:16:35,241 --> 00:16:36,624
It's just a memory.
458
00:16:36,626 --> 00:16:37,792
And the rest of this
459
00:16:37,794 --> 00:16:39,410
never happened.
460
00:16:39,412 --> 00:16:41,963
Right now, Marshall
and Lily are upstairs,
461
00:16:41,965 --> 00:16:43,881
trying to get Marvin
to go back to sleep.
462
00:16:43,883 --> 00:16:46,000
Robin and I are trying
to decide on a caterer.
463
00:16:46,002 --> 00:16:47,085
And you've been
sitting here
464
00:16:47,087 --> 00:16:49,120
all night,
staring at a single ticket
465
00:16:49,122 --> 00:16:50,805
to Robots vs. Wrestlers
466
00:16:50,807 --> 00:16:52,540
because the rest of us
couldn't come out.
467
00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:55,443
Look around, Ted.
468
00:16:55,445 --> 00:16:57,578
You're all alone.
469
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,188
Kids, it's been almost 20 years
470
00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:10,074
since that cold April night
in 2013,
471
00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:11,892
and I can safely tell you,
472
00:17:11,894 --> 00:17:15,496
if I could go back in time
and relive that night,
473
00:17:15,498 --> 00:17:19,701
there's no way in hell
I'd go to Robots vs. Wrestlers.
474
00:17:22,237 --> 00:17:25,840
No, I'd go home.
475
00:17:25,842 --> 00:17:27,709
I'd go to my old apartment,
476
00:17:27,711 --> 00:17:30,428
see all my old furniture,
my old stuff.
477
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,547
I'd see my old drafting table,
478
00:17:32,549 --> 00:17:35,550
where I sketched out
my first building.
479
00:17:35,552 --> 00:17:36,917
I'd sit on that old couch
480
00:17:36,919 --> 00:17:39,604
and smell the Indian food
cooking three stories below.
481
00:17:39,606 --> 00:17:42,923
I'd go to Lily
and Marshall's place,
482
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:45,810
be back in that old living room
where so many things happened.
483
00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:47,261
I'd see the baby.
484
00:17:47,263 --> 00:17:49,197
I don't know if you can
picture me holding
485
00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:51,983
your six-foot-seven
cousin Marvin over my head,
486
00:17:51,985 --> 00:17:54,152
but back then I could.
487
00:17:54,154 --> 00:17:56,287
I'd go have a drink
with Barney and Robin,
488
00:17:56,289 --> 00:17:58,156
watch them fight
about their caterer
489
00:17:58,158 --> 00:18:00,658
or whatever it was they were
fighting about that night.
490
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,944
But none of those things
is the thing I'd do first.
491
00:18:03,946 --> 00:18:07,999
You know the thing
I'd do first?
492
00:18:33,075 --> 00:18:35,076
Hi.
493
00:18:36,912 --> 00:18:40,147
I'm Ted Mosby.
494
00:18:40,149 --> 00:18:43,984
And exactly 45 days from now,
495
00:18:43,986 --> 00:18:46,671
you and I are gonna meet,
496
00:18:46,673 --> 00:18:49,090
and we're gonna fall in love,
497
00:18:49,092 --> 00:18:51,008
and we're gonna get married,
498
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:54,512
and...
we're gonna have two kids.
499
00:18:54,514 --> 00:18:58,599
And we're gonna love them
and each other so much.
500
00:19:01,437 --> 00:19:04,138
All that is 45 days away.
501
00:19:07,392 --> 00:19:10,228
But I'm here now,
502
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:13,314
I guess, because...
503
00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:19,320
I want those extra 45 days
with you.
504
00:19:19,322 --> 00:19:22,790
I want each one of them.
505
00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:24,709
Look, and if I can't have them,
506
00:19:24,711 --> 00:19:27,211
I'll take the 45 seconds
before your boyfriend shows up
507
00:19:27,213 --> 00:19:30,381
and punches me in the face,
508
00:19:30,383 --> 00:19:33,551
because...
509
00:19:33,553 --> 00:19:35,753
I love you.
510
00:19:35,755 --> 00:19:38,806
I'm always gonna love you,
511
00:19:38,808 --> 00:19:42,677
till the end of my days
and beyond.
512
00:19:44,513 --> 00:19:46,430
You'll see.
513
00:19:47,766 --> 00:19:49,600
Can I help you?
514
00:19:49,602 --> 00:19:52,353
Oh, hey, it's, uh, Louis, right?
515
00:19:52,355 --> 00:19:53,371
It's okay.
516
00:19:53,373 --> 00:19:54,655
It's fine, um...
517
00:19:54,657 --> 00:19:56,190
I'm in love
with your girlfriend,
518
00:19:56,192 --> 00:19:58,058
and, uh,
we're gonna get married.
519
00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:00,111
What?
Yeah.
520
00:20:25,171 --> 00:20:27,744
Okay, guys, I've been waiting
20 years for this.
521
00:20:27,844 --> 00:20:29,227
Just like we practiced.
522
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,562
No mistakes, ready?
523
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:33,314
One, two,
a-one, two, three, four.
524
00:20:33,538 --> 00:20:37,516
♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh
525
00:20:37,616 --> 00:20:39,182
♪ For the longest
526
00:20:39,184 --> 00:20:41,401
♪ For the longest time
527
00:20:41,403 --> 00:20:42,836
♪ Whoa-oh-oh
528
00:20:42,838 --> 00:20:44,471
♪ For the longest
529
00:20:44,473 --> 00:20:45,739
♪ For the longest time
530
00:20:45,741 --> 00:20:50,644
♪ If you said good-bye
to me tonight ♪
531
00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:51,795
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh
532
00:20:51,797 --> 00:20:53,430
♪ There would still
533
00:20:53,432 --> 00:20:55,265
♪ Be music left to write
534
00:20:55,267 --> 00:20:56,566
♪ Doo-doo-doo
535
00:20:56,568 --> 00:21:02,650
♪ What else could I do?
I'm so inspired by you ♪
536
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:07,085
♪ That hasn't happened
for the longest time. ♪
537
00:21:07,185 --> 00:21:12,185
== sync, corrected by elderman ==