1
00:00:01,725 --> 00:00:03,859
It was the day of Barney
and Robin's wedding,
2
00:00:03,867 --> 00:00:06,147
and a surprise guest
had just arrived.
3
00:00:06,168 --> 00:00:08,635
Mom, I-I can't
believe you're here.
4
00:00:08,651 --> 00:00:10,904
- How did you get here?
- On a plane.
5
00:00:10,924 --> 00:00:13,944
With your fear of flying? What,
did the plane drive here?
6
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:18,719
I've made enormous strides
since you last saw me, dear.
7
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,112
This is nice.
8
00:00:21,126 --> 00:00:23,279
I don't love flying,
I must admit.
9
00:00:23,286 --> 00:00:26,518
I haven't been on a plane
in years, but... maybe this
10
00:00:26,531 --> 00:00:29,117
- won't be such a bad... - Ladies and
gentlemen, we are cleared for takeoff.
11
00:00:30,462 --> 00:00:33,869
We're all gonna die!
We're all gonna die!
12
00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:39,418
During the flight, I'll
admit, I-I had a few...
13
00:00:39,443 --> 00:00:42,832
difficult moments, but, you know,
by the time we'd landed...
14
00:00:43,212 --> 00:00:44,579
Here already.
15
00:00:44,592 --> 00:00:49,091
Well, I have to say, it
wasn't so dreadful after all.
16
00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:52,452
Oh, I do apologize if I
caused any distress.
17
00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,837
And, oh, I'm terribly
sorry about the door.
18
00:00:55,857 --> 00:00:59,284
I had no idea it would
fly off like that.
19
00:00:59,303 --> 00:01:03,133
Please, please send me a bill,
because I'd like to replace it.
20
00:01:04,674 --> 00:01:07,197
I'll be taking
the train home.
21
00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:11,740
♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x20 ♪
Daisy
Original Air Date on March 10, 2014
22
00:01:11,759 --> 00:01:16,759
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
23
00:01:23,195 --> 00:01:27,105
Well, it's official: I'm gonna
be Judge Marshall Eriksen.
24
00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:29,089
That is great.
25
00:01:29,116 --> 00:01:31,277
Can you help me get
a driver's license?
26
00:01:31,944 --> 00:01:33,031
A what?
27
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:36,201
Marshall, you, uh, you don't sound
too excited to become a judge.
28
00:01:36,693 --> 00:01:38,008
I feel kind of
guilty about it.
29
00:01:38,028 --> 00:01:40,409
I mean, I know how badly Lily
wanted to move to Italy.
30
00:01:40,429 --> 00:01:43,093
Don't do this, bro.
Classic mistake.
31
00:01:43,106 --> 00:01:44,843
You won-- enjoy it.
32
00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:48,038
Drink the blood of your
vanquished enemy and move on.
33
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,953
You're gonna be
a great husband.
34
00:01:49,966 --> 00:01:52,003
No, no, wait,
he has a point.
35
00:01:52,016 --> 00:01:54,196
I mean, you said yourself,
it was her decision.
36
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,021
Lily chose to
give up her job
37
00:01:56,027 --> 00:01:57,801
and not move to Rome
so you could be a judge.
38
00:01:57,821 --> 00:01:59,774
Yeah, but something
seemed off.
39
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:01,568
We had this big fight
and she stormed out,
40
00:02:01,581 --> 00:02:04,782
and when she came back, she had
totally, like, changed her mind.
41
00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:06,002
Wait, what time was this?
42
00:02:06,008 --> 00:02:08,455
A little after 3:00
a.m., Billy Zabka. Why?
43
00:02:08,474 --> 00:02:11,167
Well, last night, I was out doing some
late-night dirt-biking in the sand.
44
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:12,363
Naturally. Continue.
45
00:02:12,388 --> 00:02:15,500
And I ended up at that EZ
Pick a few miles up the road.
46
00:02:15,522 --> 00:02:16,808
And, well...
47
00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:25,671
That's odd.
48
00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:27,966
Boo...!
49
00:02:28,461 --> 00:02:30,921
You saw Lily getting
into someone's car?
50
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:34,434
- I wonder who it was.
- What did the license plate say?
51
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,441
It said...
52
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,135
"AHOY!!!"
53
00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:41,566
The Captain! Lily's boss.
He has a house out here.
54
00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:45,005
Wait, why was Lily getting into the
Captain's car at 3:00 in the morning?
55
00:02:45,591 --> 00:02:47,218
Guys...
56
00:02:47,239 --> 00:02:49,917
I hate to even
say this, but...
57
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,444
do you think
it's possible...
58
00:02:54,472 --> 00:02:57,813
...that I could eat six of these
saltines in under a minute?
59
00:02:57,832 --> 00:02:59,590
Challenge accepted!
60
00:03:00,953 --> 00:03:03,949
Well, I can't wait
to meet this Barney.
61
00:03:03,956 --> 00:03:06,540
I haven't met him
already, have I?
62
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,116
Because they said
after getting Tasered,
63
00:03:08,123 --> 00:03:10,883
I might suffer from
short-term memory loss.
64
00:03:10,911 --> 00:03:13,551
Oh, you'd remember
if you'd met Barney.
65
00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:16,222
Why don't I see what
he's doing right now?
66
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,605
- Barney's phone.
- Ted, where's Barney?
67
00:03:20,626 --> 00:03:22,653
He's trying to eat six
saltines in under a minute.
68
00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:25,343
Well, his future
mother-in-law is here.
69
00:03:25,361 --> 00:03:27,023
Robin's mom is here.
70
00:03:27,818 --> 00:03:29,198
And she wants to meet him.
71
00:03:29,223 --> 00:03:30,665
She wants to meet you.
72
00:03:32,618 --> 00:03:35,404
He's kind of in the middle of a
saltine challenge at the moment.
73
00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:39,670
But as soon as he's done, he'll
just, uh, pop right over.
74
00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:41,203
All right. Good-bye.
75
00:03:41,814 --> 00:03:43,794
The saltine challenge?
Now?
76
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:47,318
It's his wedding day. Guys do weird
things on their wedding day.
77
00:03:47,347 --> 00:03:48,600
Well, on my wedding day,
78
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:52,707
Robin's father completely
disappeared for about three hours.
79
00:03:52,714 --> 00:03:56,727
He just said, "I've got to go and teach
somebody some manners," and off he went.
80
00:03:56,734 --> 00:03:58,654
And then
three hours later,
81
00:03:58,678 --> 00:04:01,691
he emerged from the
woods with a dead elk
82
00:04:01,704 --> 00:04:03,524
slung across his shoulder.
83
00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:07,535
And I didn't even know that
there were elk in Bermuda.
84
00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:11,125
But this Barney-- he sounds
like a fine young man.
85
00:04:11,138 --> 00:04:12,138
Yes, he is.
86
00:04:13,079 --> 00:04:14,502
We're going again.
87
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,300
Marshall, are you okay?
88
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,753
Why did she get into the Captain's car,
and why didn't she tell me about it?
89
00:04:18,766 --> 00:04:22,034
- Well, maybe it was a work thing.
- What? No. She has a big fight with me,
90
00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:24,859
she goes down to an EZ Pick, she
gets into the Captain's Mercedes,
91
00:04:24,872 --> 00:04:27,832
and then three hours later, she
doesn't want to go to Italy anymore?
92
00:04:27,853 --> 00:04:28,926
I mean, do you
think this means...
93
00:04:28,945 --> 00:04:32,169
That the Captain moored his dinghy
in Lily's lagoon? Most definitely.
94
00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:35,235
That's crazy. You'd never
moor a dinghy in a lagoon.
95
00:04:35,248 --> 00:04:38,615
I don't know, Ted. In certain tidal
conditions, if you had a protected inlet...
96
00:04:38,635 --> 00:04:41,588
Okay, you know what? It doesn't matter.
Today is Barney's wedding.
97
00:04:41,608 --> 00:04:43,196
Let's just forget it.
98
00:04:44,622 --> 00:04:45,929
Marshall...
99
00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:48,075
do you want to go over to the
Captain's house right now,
100
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,413
punch him in the face really fast and
then come back and do this wedding?
101
00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:56,674
- Would that be okay?
- Ranjit, get the car.
102
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,462
Getting the car.
103
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,031
Baby, I can't wait
to meet your mom,
104
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:04,158
but I kind of got to go on a little
excursion with the boys right now.
105
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,038
What? Where are you going?
106
00:05:06,058 --> 00:05:09,418
Me and the boys have to go
teach someone some manners.
107
00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:14,839
Are there any elk
on Long Island?
108
00:05:19,256 --> 00:05:21,083
♪ My gallant
housekeeping crew ♪
109
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,223
♪ Good morning.
110
00:05:22,246 --> 00:05:24,084
♪ Sir! Good morning.
111
00:05:24,104 --> 00:05:26,297
♪ I hope you are quite well.
112
00:05:26,304 --> 00:05:28,441
♪ Quite well, and you, sir?
113
00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:30,141
♪ I am in reasonable health.
114
00:05:30,161 --> 00:05:32,588
♪ And happy to meet
you all once.. ♪
115
00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:34,376
Oh, bother it!
116
00:05:35,072 --> 00:05:36,299
I'll get it.
117
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,674
Ahoy, Marshall!
118
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,811
- Are you okay, Robin?
- No, I'm not okay,
119
00:05:49,837 --> 00:05:53,624
because apparently, I am
marrying my dad in a few hours.
120
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,984
Oh, sweetie, no. I'm
sure that's not true.
121
00:05:56,997 --> 00:06:00,157
I mean, th-there's so much you
don't know about your father.
122
00:06:00,176 --> 00:06:04,030
There were... oh, there were so many
other red flags in our marriage.
123
00:06:04,036 --> 00:06:08,051
I mean, for instance, do you know
that before he was engaged to me,
124
00:06:08,649 --> 00:06:11,503
he was engaged to marry
an exotic dancer?
125
00:06:11,555 --> 00:06:12,766
Hello!
126
00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:14,266
Red flag!
127
00:06:14,298 --> 00:06:16,345
Oh, Genevieve, not good.
128
00:06:16,364 --> 00:06:18,416
And did you know
that one time,
129
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:22,523
to impress women, he dressed
up like a Prussian aristocrat,
130
00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:24,145
had a painting
of himself made,
131
00:06:24,171 --> 00:06:26,631
and posed next to it
in an art gallery?
132
00:06:27,131 --> 00:06:28,858
Can you imagine?
133
00:06:28,878 --> 00:06:30,817
Oh, that's a rough one.
134
00:06:30,837 --> 00:06:33,261
Darling, darling,
the list goes on.
135
00:06:33,637 --> 00:06:36,244
He would always take his
mother's side in arguments.
136
00:06:36,257 --> 00:06:38,517
He never checked with
me before making plans.
137
00:06:38,537 --> 00:06:42,409
And our rehearsal dinner...
oh, boy, did we have it out
138
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,002
right before our
rehearsal dinner!
139
00:06:47,531 --> 00:06:48,994
Thank you, Linus.
140
00:06:50,186 --> 00:06:52,543
For the first ten
years I knew him,
141
00:06:52,556 --> 00:06:55,627
I didn't even know what your
father did for a living.
142
00:06:55,659 --> 00:06:58,501
- Every time I used to ask him,
he'd just say... - Please!
143
00:06:58,514 --> 00:07:01,813
Yes, that's exactly what he used
to say. How did you know that?
144
00:07:03,073 --> 00:07:05,513
Heck of a jab, Marshall.
Well-placed.
145
00:07:05,530 --> 00:07:09,681
Captain, I know something happened
between you and Lily last night.
146
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:10,661
What?
147
00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:12,160
No. Nothing happened.
148
00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:13,534
Captain's honor.
149
00:07:13,553 --> 00:07:15,128
Well, you can
ask my fiancée.
150
00:07:15,152 --> 00:07:16,885
Fiancée? What-what
fiancée?
151
00:07:16,905 --> 00:07:19,632
- Captain. Permission to
clear things up? - Granted.
152
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:21,990
Me. We're engaged.
153
00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:23,646
It's "boats,
boats, boats"!
154
00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:25,722
- Ted, look!
- Uh, yeah.
155
00:07:25,735 --> 00:07:27,889
I mean, yeah, I know her
from that commercial.
156
00:07:27,902 --> 00:07:29,264
Boats, boats, boats!
157
00:07:29,293 --> 00:07:31,293
And only from
that commercial.
158
00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:33,926
No, you banged her.
Remember?
159
00:07:33,932 --> 00:07:35,186
Like, a bunch of times.
160
00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:37,216
You knocked "boots,
boots, boots""
161
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:40,190
All right, Captain. What the
hell happened here last night?
162
00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:41,659
Well, it was just
after four bells.
163
00:07:43,127 --> 00:07:43,911
Ahoy!
164
00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:46,750
Hi, I-I know it's late, but
I've got to get out of here.
165
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:49,397
So I sent the car.
When she got here...
166
00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:51,524
- Lily, what a lovely...
- Can I use your powder room?
167
00:07:51,982 --> 00:07:53,995
And then she went
to the powder room.
168
00:07:54,018 --> 00:07:55,638
She was in there quite
a while, actually.
169
00:07:55,658 --> 00:07:58,065
Probably a deuce. Go on.
170
00:07:58,084 --> 00:08:00,551
And when she came out, she
had to leave right away.
171
00:08:00,578 --> 00:08:01,545
It was odd.
172
00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:04,894
But I assure you, nothing inappropriate
happened between me and your wife.
173
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:07,053
Captain, I understand
what you're saying,
174
00:08:07,073 --> 00:08:10,299
but what you don't understand
is that Lily is my wife,
175
00:08:10,319 --> 00:08:13,172
and I love her way too much to
behave rationally right now!
176
00:08:13,204 --> 00:08:14,591
En garde!
177
00:08:15,005 --> 00:08:17,053
This is the best
day of my life.
178
00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:20,815
Oh, darling,
come on, no, no.
179
00:08:20,828 --> 00:08:22,997
You're not marrying
your father.
180
00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:26,570
I mean, your father... I mean,
let's just put it this way.
181
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,435
Your father was
a sociopath.
182
00:08:28,461 --> 00:08:31,263
He slept with
over 20 women.
183
00:08:31,282 --> 00:08:34,166
And sure, you know, we were
friends for years first
184
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:36,296
and it was entertaining
watching him lie
185
00:08:36,309 --> 00:08:39,564
to those poor girls to get
inside their snow pants,
186
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:44,371
but I should have known back then
this was not husband material.
187
00:08:44,384 --> 00:08:47,332
I mean, even your Uncle Jim, you
know, his gay black brother...
188
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,129
Will you shut up!
189
00:08:51,454 --> 00:08:52,375
Go for Barney!
190
00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:56,338
Your bride is freaking the crap out
right now. Where the hell are you?
191
00:08:56,367 --> 00:08:58,028
I warn you, Captain,
192
00:08:58,047 --> 00:09:02,986
I've pretended to have a duel
with actual swords twice.
193
00:09:03,007 --> 00:09:05,937
I warn you, Marshall, I was
on the Olympic fencing team.
194
00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:07,770
Won three gold medals.
195
00:09:07,791 --> 00:09:09,457
I warn you, Captain,
196
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:12,428
I'm starting to feel like
this was a mistake.
197
00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:14,534
I think I'd better
not say where I am.
198
00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:17,414
I am not kidding around here!
Tell me where you are!
199
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,783
We're at the
Captain's house.
200
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,314
What is it? What's wrong?
201
00:09:26,877 --> 00:09:30,269
I am so busted.
202
00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:35,233
Thank you, Linus.
203
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,177
You have another
piece of gum?
204
00:09:46,066 --> 00:09:48,033
I can keep a secret.
205
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,279
I can keep a secret real good.
206
00:09:50,306 --> 00:09:53,873
- Are you chewing gum? - I can keep
a secret like nobody's business,
207
00:09:53,888 --> 00:09:56,688
'cause it is nobody's business.
208
00:09:56,708 --> 00:09:59,073
You never chew gum. You
shouldn't chew gum in here.
209
00:09:59,079 --> 00:10:02,294
'Cause it's a secret,
and I'm keeping it!
210
00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:04,553
Wait!
Stop the duel!
211
00:10:04,578 --> 00:10:07,371
Oh, thank God.
I mean, why?
212
00:10:07,385 --> 00:10:10,778
Why? Because I just solved
the mystery, that's why.
213
00:10:10,798 --> 00:10:13,186
Mosby Boys!
214
00:10:14,941 --> 00:10:17,057
We agreed you wouldn't
do that anymore.
215
00:10:17,996 --> 00:10:19,989
Mystery? What mystery?
216
00:10:20,173 --> 00:10:21,997
Lily has a secret.
217
00:10:22,896 --> 00:10:24,814
She's hiding something,
218
00:10:25,419 --> 00:10:27,954
and I know what it is.
219
00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:39,137
Okay, what is she hiding?
220
00:10:39,150 --> 00:10:41,357
I'll tell you in a minute.
221
00:10:41,387 --> 00:10:44,302
I want to enjoy the suspense
a little bit first.
222
00:10:45,904 --> 00:10:47,692
Ooh.
223
00:10:56,954 --> 00:10:59,934
Oh, my God, will
you just tell us!
224
00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:03,566
Very well.
225
00:11:03,594 --> 00:11:06,809
Now, we can all agree that this is
the first time I've ever set foot
226
00:11:06,822 --> 00:11:08,596
in this house, correct?
227
00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:10,929
Oh, this is going
to be unbearable.
228
00:11:10,942 --> 00:11:13,449
Now, Captain, your
powder room--
229
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:15,752
does it face out
on the ocean?
230
00:11:15,781 --> 00:11:17,511
Of course, right
over the cliff.
231
00:11:17,536 --> 00:11:19,329
Just as I suspected.
232
00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:22,352
And if I were to walk into
this powder room right now,
233
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:25,194
I believe I'd see a potted
plant of some sort.
234
00:11:25,214 --> 00:11:27,614
- Is that correct?
- Yes. There's a daisy.
235
00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:30,554
A daisy. Interesting.
236
00:11:30,582 --> 00:11:33,489
Uh, not traditionally
an indoor plant, but
237
00:11:33,512 --> 00:11:37,850
I suppose it gets plenty of light
with the southern exposure.
238
00:11:37,874 --> 00:11:39,407
That's right, it does.
239
00:11:39,425 --> 00:11:41,805
Will you please
fetch the daisy?
240
00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,198
Aye-aye.
241
00:11:44,976 --> 00:11:46,471
I totally solved it.
242
00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:48,418
You didn't solve it.
243
00:11:48,706 --> 00:11:50,686
You didn't solve it.
244
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,290
You didn't solve it.
245
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:55,289
You didn't solve it. Did you solve...?
No, you didn't solve it.
246
00:11:55,307 --> 00:11:56,860
I solved it!
247
00:11:57,888 --> 00:12:00,752
Ah.
Thank you, Captain.
248
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,840
Now...
249
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,722
a simple question.
250
00:12:04,742 --> 00:12:08,210
When Lily and Marshall are apart
for an extended period of time,
251
00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:11,648
what is the one thing
Lily always does?
252
00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:12,770
Cry?
253
00:12:12,790 --> 00:12:14,623
- Masturbate?
- Karate?
254
00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:17,025
- Go sailing?
- No.
255
00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:20,670
When Lily and Marshall are apart
256
00:12:20,692 --> 00:12:22,929
for a long period of time,
257
00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:27,192
Lily... always...
258
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:37,300
...starts smoking again.
259
00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:40,236
That's true, she does.
260
00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:42,571
Happened when she went
to Paris in college.
261
00:12:42,584 --> 00:12:45,672
It happened when she moved to
San Francisco, and last week,
262
00:12:45,685 --> 00:12:46,965
it happened again.
263
00:12:46,986 --> 00:12:49,326
From the moment Marshall
left for Minnesota,
264
00:12:49,339 --> 00:12:51,299
Lily's been secretly
puffing down the ciggies
265
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,592
like a 46-year-old grandma
at a Reno slot machine.
266
00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,936
Problem was, come
Friday morning,
267
00:12:56,949 --> 00:13:00,063
she knew she'd have to
quit again, cold turkey.
268
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,819
And it wouldn't be easy.
269
00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:04,913
She tried to make it a whole car
ride without a fix, but couldn't.
270
00:13:04,926 --> 00:13:06,333
So, she pretended
to be annoyed
271
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,661
by perfectly reasonable things,
like my stylish driving gloves
272
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:13,000
and my appreciation of the
historic van Otterloop manse.
273
00:13:13,558 --> 00:13:18,230
All so she could have one
last smoke on the train.
274
00:13:18,669 --> 00:13:21,548
But afterwards, her
breath told the tale.
275
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:24,640
And that's why, when
she got to the hotel,
276
00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:25,887
Lily...
277
00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:27,854
was chewing...
278
00:13:27,879 --> 00:13:28,759
gum.
279
00:13:28,779 --> 00:13:30,301
Lily never chews gum.
280
00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:32,183
- What? Never?
- Well, hardly ever.
281
00:13:32,204 --> 00:13:33,794
Great job, Ted.
282
00:13:33,807 --> 00:13:36,674
That's some pretty
solid evidence. Gum.
283
00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:40,002
Oh, Barney, my dear boy.
284
00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:42,838
- I'm just getting started.
- Getting started?
285
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:46,130
Lily knew that cigarette was
probably her last for a while.
286
00:13:46,157 --> 00:13:47,950
She needed something to
keep her nerves calm,
287
00:13:47,973 --> 00:13:49,420
so she headed to the bar.
288
00:13:49,441 --> 00:13:51,965
Anytime you see me without
a drink in my hand,
289
00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:54,590
you put a drink
in my hand.
290
00:13:54,619 --> 00:13:57,039
Are you my guy, Linus?
291
00:13:57,045 --> 00:14:00,450
What followed was a long
day and a half for Lily.
292
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,132
A really long
day and a half.
293
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:05,965
Oh, it's kind of insane how much
happened in just a day and a half.
294
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:10,832
Anyway, Marshall returned, they had
a big fight, Lily stormed out.
295
00:14:11,196 --> 00:14:12,649
And that's when
she realized,
296
00:14:12,671 --> 00:14:15,707
if she was gonna sneak one this
weekend, this was her chance.
297
00:14:15,728 --> 00:14:18,495
And after that fight,
boy, did she need one.
298
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:22,050
Only problem: She was all out.
299
00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:24,713
Now, it's 3:00 a.m.,
you need a cigarette,
300
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,715
and the only place that's open is an EZ
Pick that's five miles down the road.
301
00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:30,892
You have no car.
What do you do? Go.
302
00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,842
- Dirt-bike it.
- I can walk that far.
303
00:14:32,865 --> 00:14:35,118
- Masturbate.
- Take a boat.
304
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,413
What? A boat? No.
305
00:14:37,436 --> 00:14:39,770
Dude, she got a ride
in your car, remember?
306
00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:42,086
Ahoy.
307
00:14:42,099 --> 00:14:44,992
Hi. I-I know it's late, but
I've got to get out of here.
308
00:14:44,998 --> 00:14:47,060
I want to make
one stop first.
309
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:50,579
The problem was,
310
00:14:50,609 --> 00:14:53,329
Lily didn't want to smoke in
front of her new employer.
311
00:14:53,335 --> 00:14:56,283
So, when she arrived at the
Captain's house, there was only one
312
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,750
possible course of action.
313
00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:59,463
Can I use your
powder room?
314
00:15:02,886 --> 00:15:04,459
Now, you're Lily.
315
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:07,077
You've just had a cigarette
in your boss's powder room.
316
00:15:07,099 --> 00:15:08,686
What do you do with
the cigarette butt?
317
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,132
Throw it out the window?
Flush it?
318
00:15:10,138 --> 00:15:12,932
No, she-she wouldn't do either of those
things. She's an environmentalist.
319
00:15:12,951 --> 00:15:15,184
- Stick it in your purse?
- Marshall could find it there.
320
00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:17,798
- Throw it in the trash can.
- The Captain would find it there.
321
00:15:17,805 --> 00:15:19,785
Hide it in a boat.
322
00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:24,699
- A boat? Wait. How would that...
- I don't know. I just... I like boats.
323
00:15:26,397 --> 00:15:27,731
No.
324
00:15:28,273 --> 00:15:30,965
There's only one place
that she would put it.
325
00:15:30,978 --> 00:15:32,627
A place where, eventually,
326
00:15:32,646 --> 00:15:36,476
it would decompose and
serve as a natural mulch.
327
00:15:37,273 --> 00:15:38,929
It's in the daisy.
328
00:15:39,943 --> 00:15:41,769
And sure enough,
329
00:15:41,782 --> 00:15:43,356
if I dig around...
330
00:15:43,382 --> 00:15:46,681
I am all but
guaranteed to find...
331
00:15:48,826 --> 00:15:50,527
A pregnancy test.
332
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,638
You could smoke those?
333
00:16:08,779 --> 00:16:10,139
Oh, no.
334
00:16:10,152 --> 00:16:11,832
So, you want
the Kennedy package?
335
00:16:11,856 --> 00:16:13,222
Bingo.
336
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:17,346
One other little thing.
337
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:21,776
When you do put a drink in my hand,
let's make it non-alcoholic.
338
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,760
There's a chance I
might be pregnant.
339
00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:27,732
Okay, Linus, don't start popping
the sparkling cider just yet.
340
00:16:27,751 --> 00:16:29,756
I'm just being cautious.
341
00:16:30,108 --> 00:16:33,099
I'll take a test when I
get home. It can wait.
342
00:16:33,111 --> 00:16:37,131
Are Marvin and I
and any other future children
343
00:16:37,144 --> 00:16:40,375
we may have just some
consolation prize?
344
00:16:40,752 --> 00:16:43,044
I have to get out of here.
345
00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:50,114
It can't wait.
346
00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:58,741
- Lily, what a lovely...
- Can I use your powder room?
347
00:17:03,492 --> 00:17:05,937
Two minutes. Here we go.
348
00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:17,518
Guys, we need to go
back to the hotel.
349
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:22,503
Lily peed on that,
and you touched it.
350
00:17:23,779 --> 00:17:25,380
Lily?
351
00:17:27,383 --> 00:17:29,316
We're gonna have a baby?
352
00:17:32,109 --> 00:17:35,033
I told you guys I
could keep a secret.
353
00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:40,694
Uh, uh, Barney,
this-this is my mom.
354
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,413
- Hi.
- Hello.
355
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:45,422
Oh. Oh, he's a hugger.
Nothing like your dad.
356
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,255
I'm sorry. I-I was
gonna tell you tonight.
357
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:51,501
No. Oh, my God, no.
It's fine. There's just...
358
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,529
there's so much we have to do.
You know, we have to, um...
359
00:17:53,542 --> 00:17:54,904
we have to do
research on...
360
00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:57,151
uh, hospitals in Italy,
and we have to, uh...
361
00:17:57,164 --> 00:17:58,937
We're not going to Italy.
362
00:17:59,551 --> 00:18:01,351
Of course we are.
363
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,407
Lily, we have to do this.
You're gonna live in Rome,
364
00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:06,807
and you're gonna get
your dream, because...
365
00:18:07,604 --> 00:18:09,717
because you're
giving me mine.
366
00:18:09,741 --> 00:18:11,308
Again.
367
00:18:11,736 --> 00:18:13,423
But there's gonna be all
sorts of paperwork,
368
00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:15,440
and-and if she's born
outside of the U.S.,
369
00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:17,467
she could never
become president.
370
00:18:18,382 --> 00:18:19,555
It's a girl?
371
00:18:19,571 --> 00:18:21,914
Oh. I don't know, but...
372
00:18:22,573 --> 00:18:25,068
in my mind, I kind
of think she is.
373
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,242
Oh.
I love you so much.
374
00:18:27,255 --> 00:18:28,556
Mmm.
375
00:18:29,872 --> 00:18:32,080
We're gonna give
you some privacy.
376
00:18:34,965 --> 00:18:38,206
- It's my room. Why do I
have to...? - Just... come on.
377
00:18:40,499 --> 00:18:42,679
- I thought this was an exit.
- No, balcony.
378
00:18:42,692 --> 00:18:44,504
Ah. Oh.
379
00:18:44,536 --> 00:18:46,432
Well, we'll just give them
a few minutes, and then...
380
00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:48,774
- Mm-hmm.
- ...we'll go back in and...
381
00:18:48,787 --> 00:18:49,974
Oh.
382
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,434
- Oh, they are both naked.
- Yeah, they work fast.
383
00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,136
Yes.
384
00:18:55,747 --> 00:18:57,440
Oh, darling.
385
00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:59,552
Oh, you're going
to be fine.
386
00:18:59,579 --> 00:19:01,942
You know, for every
marriage in the world
387
00:19:01,949 --> 00:19:04,355
like I had with your dad,
you know, there's...
388
00:19:04,369 --> 00:19:07,016
there's a marriage like
those two in there.
389
00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:09,185
And, oh, marriage is...
390
00:19:09,204 --> 00:19:12,224
Oh, it's terrifying.
It's-it's like flying.
391
00:19:12,248 --> 00:19:15,930
You know, you're-you're filled
with this mortal dread, but
392
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:20,453
if you find someone you feel
safe with, it's like flying!
393
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:24,754
But if you got someone that you
feel is really there for you,
394
00:19:24,781 --> 00:19:27,232
someone you can depend on,
395
00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:29,197
you're gonna be fine.
396
00:19:30,034 --> 00:19:32,086
Do you have someone
like that?
397
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,061
I do.
398
00:21:08,283 --> 00:21:13,283
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther