1
00:00:05,622 --> 00:00:08,057
Kids, Barney and Robin's
wedding turned out
2
00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:10,426
To be a life-changing weekend
for all of us.
3
00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,227
Well, not just us.
4
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,963
One ticket to Farhampton,
please.
5
00:00:13,965 --> 00:00:15,831
But I'll get to that.
6
00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:19,468
Who are you honking at?
You.
7
00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,437
You're going 40 in a 65.
8
00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:23,672
Pick it up, grandma!
9
00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:25,674
Look, I'm happy to rock it up
into the 50s,
10
00:00:25,676 --> 00:00:29,244
But I'm gonna need a hand...
Or two.
11
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,447
Oh, no. Not the driving gloves.
12
00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:33,082
In 99.9% of highway accidents,
13
00:00:33,084 --> 00:00:35,417
The driver was not
wearing gloves.
14
00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:36,618
Because they're stupid.
15
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,153
They don't help you
drive better.
16
00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:40,022
That's why no one wears them.
17
00:00:40,024 --> 00:00:43,125
Then why is it called...
The glove compartment?
18
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:45,294
I am not
having this argument again.
19
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:48,030
Now, as you know, a Mosby
road trip is not only safe,
20
00:00:48,032 --> 00:00:49,031
But informative.
21
00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:51,266
Chiggedy-check it.
22
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,302
Manhattan to Farhampton:
23
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:56,705
Lil' and Ted's
excellent adventure?
24
00:00:56,707 --> 00:00:58,540
That baby's stuffed to the rings
with fun facts
25
00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,943
About our unsung neighbor
to the east... long island.
26
00:01:00,945 --> 00:01:03,312
For instance, just up
ahead, the historic
27
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,481
Childhood home of
florian van otterloop,
28
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:06,815
The dutch bucklesmith
29
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,817
Who revolutionized
the belt industry.
30
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,819
Uh, fun story
about that color-blind genius.
31
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,187
When he...
Please stop!
32
00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:14,990
Well, I was just gonna
slow down for pictures,
33
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:18,127
But that level of enthusiasm
can't go unrewarded.
34
00:01:34,878 --> 00:01:37,046
Hmm.
35
00:01:37,048 --> 00:01:39,314
Oh, look at my little cousins
36
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,016
In their flower girl dresses.
37
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,419
Aw, they'll look so cute
next to the ring bear.
38
00:01:43,421 --> 00:01:44,820
Yeah.
39
00:01:44,822 --> 00:01:47,990
Wait, you said
ring bear-er, right?
40
00:01:47,992 --> 00:01:49,825
Ring bear.
41
00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:51,260
Ring bear-er.
42
00:01:51,262 --> 00:01:52,928
Ring bear.
43
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,164
Are you planning
some crazy stunt
44
00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:57,833
With a dangerous wild animal
at our wedding?
45
00:01:57,835 --> 00:01:59,034
Because...
46
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,402
Oh, oh, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry.
47
00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:01,904
Oh, boy.
48
00:02:01,906 --> 00:02:03,072
My brother wants to know
49
00:02:03,074 --> 00:02:05,574
What time he "goes on"
at the reception.
50
00:02:05,576 --> 00:02:07,042
What does that mean?
51
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:11,246
Every wedding he attends,
James insists on... Performing.
52
00:02:11,248 --> 00:02:13,282
♪ Islands in the stream
53
00:02:13,284 --> 00:02:15,417
♪ that is what we are
54
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:18,020
♪ no one in between...
55
00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:19,621
So? What do you got
against k-rodge?
56
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:21,090
Everybody loves the gambler.
57
00:02:21,092 --> 00:02:22,891
Wait for it.
58
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,427
♪ How can we be wrong?
59
00:02:25,429 --> 00:02:29,731
♪ Sail away with me
to another world ♪
60
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:34,036
♪ and we rely
on each other, uh-huh! ♪
61
00:02:34,038 --> 00:02:36,038
That is nothing.
62
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,907
I have invited Scherbatskys
from all over Canada,
63
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,275
And they are canuckin' nuts.
64
00:02:40,277 --> 00:02:42,711
Like my cousin ruth
from the yukon.
65
00:02:42,713 --> 00:02:45,080
I don't like to encourage
Canadian stereotypes,
66
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,283
But that woman
practically rides a moose.
67
00:02:50,054 --> 00:02:51,386
Does she actually ride a moose?
68
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,387
Yeah.
69
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,989
And, uh,
70
00:02:53,991 --> 00:02:55,991
I'm worried she'll bring it
to the wedding.
71
00:02:55,993 --> 00:03:00,028
She and the moose are...
Very close.
72
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,998
Whoa.
73
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,401
Every wedding's got a wild card,
but we've invited a whole set.
74
00:03:14,978 --> 00:03:17,079
Someone is gonna
ruin this wedding.
75
00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:21,016
It's just a question
of... Who.
76
00:03:21,018 --> 00:03:24,086
I'm gonna ruin this wedding!
77
00:03:24,088 --> 00:03:25,454
My wife is gonna kill me!
78
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,589
Flight attendants
prepare for departure.
79
00:03:27,591 --> 00:03:29,858
We were gonna move to
Italy for her dream job,
80
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,194
So I brought my son
here to Minnesota
81
00:03:32,196 --> 00:03:34,563
To see my mom before we left.
82
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,667
And then I got offered
a job as a judge
83
00:03:38,669 --> 00:03:41,069
In New York City,
which is my dream.
84
00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:43,939
But that'll totally
destroy her dream!
85
00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:46,341
You are destroying
a lot of dreams right now.
86
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,854
Wait.
87
00:03:58,856 --> 00:04:00,923
If I got this...
88
00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:09,965
Aren't you gonna check that?
89
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:11,366
No.
90
00:04:11,368 --> 00:04:13,402
It-it's just another
obnoxious update
91
00:04:13,404 --> 00:04:14,403
From Marshall's mom.
92
00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:15,404
She's been posting
93
00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:18,040
These "cute" baby pics
of Marvin,
94
00:04:18,042 --> 00:04:20,842
But it's all just propaganda.
95
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,477
First, it was
"don't move to Italy."
96
00:04:23,813 --> 00:04:26,081
Followed by an extremely subtle
guilt trip.
97
00:04:28,985 --> 00:04:31,987
And then, randomly preachy.
98
00:04:31,989 --> 00:04:33,155
Nah, not looking.
99
00:04:33,157 --> 00:04:34,823
It's just gonna piss me off.
100
00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:36,491
Why are we exiting again?
101
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,060
Well, if you turn in your binder
102
00:04:38,062 --> 00:04:39,661
To the section labeled
"mennonite windmills..."
103
00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:40,903
Get back on the expressway now.
104
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,933
The expressway's
for gloveless amateurs.
105
00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:46,101
I'm done.
106
00:04:46,103 --> 00:04:47,936
There's a train station
coming up; just drop me off.
107
00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:49,905
Okay, but some newfangled
train's not gonna stop
108
00:04:49,907 --> 00:04:52,174
At the 40-foot-tall
butter churn in ronkonkoma!
109
00:04:52,176 --> 00:04:55,711
Yes, but unlike any of
your 18th-century stops,
110
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:59,047
At least the train will have
a 21st-century toilet!
111
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,549
You're a 21st-century toilet!
112
00:05:01,619 --> 00:05:02,618
Train now!
113
00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,419
Fine!
114
00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:07,522
Okay, so far,
I've got 12 wild cards,
115
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:08,924
Not counting the ring bear.
116
00:05:08,926 --> 00:05:10,025
Ring bear-er.
117
00:05:10,027 --> 00:05:11,260
Oh, oh, here's another one.
118
00:05:11,262 --> 00:05:13,762
You know how I found out
that I'm one-quarter Canadian
119
00:05:13,764 --> 00:05:14,930
But I've completely
blocked that out
120
00:05:14,932 --> 00:05:16,698
Because your nation's ridiculous
and I'm awesome?
121
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:17,766
Sure.
122
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,901
Well, turns out,
I have a crazy cousin Mitch
123
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,136
On that side of the family.
124
00:05:21,138 --> 00:05:22,104
That's funny.
125
00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:23,939
I have a crazy
cousin Mitch, too.
126
00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:25,941
But I guarantee
he is crazier than yours.
127
00:05:25,943 --> 00:05:28,243
He built his own house
from timber he chopped down
128
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,045
From other people's houses.
129
00:05:30,047 --> 00:05:31,380
That's funny.
130
00:05:31,382 --> 00:05:32,948
My cousin Mitch
is a lumberjack.
131
00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:35,751
Except mine has six fingers.
132
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,052
On one hand or total?
133
00:05:37,054 --> 00:05:38,053
Total.
134
00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:40,989
Are truckers always
beating him up?
135
00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:42,891
Yes, because he has to...
136
00:05:42,893 --> 00:05:43,992
...Hitchhike
with his middle finger.
137
00:05:43,994 --> 00:05:46,795
Wait.
138
00:05:46,797 --> 00:05:49,164
Is it possible that we're...
139
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:54,336
Could... C-could...
Could we be...?
140
00:05:54,338 --> 00:05:55,837
Shh...
141
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,443
Ranjit, could you be a dear
and pull over for a second?
142
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,979
Pulling over!
143
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:12,754
All right, train.
144
00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:15,924
Let's show your critics you're
not just a dumpster on wheels
145
00:06:15,926 --> 00:06:17,426
Full of drunk idiots.
146
00:06:17,428 --> 00:06:19,761
We're being held at this station
147
00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:21,096
Until further notice.
148
00:06:21,098 --> 00:06:23,165
I got to sober up.
149
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:38,947
Eriksen residence,
judy speaking.
150
00:06:38,949 --> 00:06:40,315
Why did you post
that judge photo?
151
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,017
Because I'm guilty...
152
00:06:42,019 --> 00:06:45,020
Of being one proud mama!
153
00:06:45,022 --> 00:06:46,955
Lily doesn't know
that I took the job,
154
00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:48,357
So if she sees it, I'm dead.
155
00:06:48,359 --> 00:06:49,524
Just take it down, okay?
156
00:06:49,526 --> 00:06:50,559
Fine.
157
00:06:50,561 --> 00:06:53,028
Let me just get on the online
158
00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,563
So I can internet.
159
00:06:54,565 --> 00:06:57,065
I love the lingo!
160
00:06:59,069 --> 00:07:00,836
Look, mom,
just-just...
161
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,971
Click on the photo
on your wall,
162
00:07:02,973 --> 00:07:05,640
And then under "menu,"
click on "options."
163
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,876
Some kind of advertisement
popped on.
164
00:07:07,878 --> 00:07:09,478
Oh, my.
165
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,180
That appears to be pornography.
166
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,182
Just click
on "options."
167
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,885
It's men with other men.
168
00:07:16,887 --> 00:07:17,986
Just click on "options"!
169
00:07:17,988 --> 00:07:19,087
Excuse me!
170
00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:20,856
Are there any other seats
left on this plane?
171
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:21,890
No.
172
00:07:21,892 --> 00:07:23,024
Hell, I've been
going to pilates.
173
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,093
I can just hang on
to the landing gear like this.
174
00:07:25,095 --> 00:07:26,094
Sorry, ma'am.
175
00:07:26,096 --> 00:07:28,196
I only signed up for pilates,
176
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,899
I haven't actually
started going yet.
177
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:32,801
I didn't sign up.
178
00:07:34,937 --> 00:07:36,238
No, I'm not looking.
179
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,241
I don't need to see
my child used against me.
180
00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:43,211
My sweet, beautiful child
who I haven't seen in a week...
181
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,915
Whose head smells like love
and unicorn teardrops,
182
00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:48,884
And why are trains so lonely?!
183
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:49,885
Damn it, I'm looking!
184
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,219
Hey, are you okay?
185
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,088
You look stressed.
186
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:53,955
Plus, you muttered
187
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,424
A few words out loud.
188
00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:57,359
I heard "lonely" and "unicorn,"
189
00:07:57,361 --> 00:07:58,894
Which actually gave me
a great idea
190
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,530
For a children's book,
so thank you.
191
00:08:01,532 --> 00:08:03,131
Are you okay?
192
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,766
No.
193
00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:06,701
But there's nothing you can do.
194
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:07,903
Do you want a cookie?
195
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,371
Yes.
196
00:08:09,373 --> 00:08:10,539
Yes, I do.
197
00:08:10,541 --> 00:08:11,873
Wow.
198
00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:12,908
You just took a cookie
199
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,643
From a complete stranger
on a train.
200
00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:15,977
I like how trusting you are.
201
00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:17,879
There could be drugs
or poison in there.
202
00:08:17,881 --> 00:08:19,481
But there's not, is there?
203
00:08:19,483 --> 00:08:20,949
No idea,
I found them under my seat.
204
00:08:20,951 --> 00:08:21,950
No!
205
00:08:21,952 --> 00:08:23,418
Kidding! Sorry!
206
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,720
You looked stressed, so I
thought you could use a cookie,
207
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,255
Then I thought
you could use a joke.
208
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,990
I should have stopped
at the cookie.
209
00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:29,891
You know what?
210
00:08:29,893 --> 00:08:31,993
I don't care
if these are poisoned.
211
00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:33,428
There's chocolate
and peanut butter
212
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,130
And caramel in these sumbitches.
213
00:08:35,132 --> 00:08:37,566
I call them "sumbitches"!
214
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:39,768
And that's how Lily
215
00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,169
Met your mother.
216
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,573
Are cousin Mitch and I
directly related?
217
00:08:44,575 --> 00:08:46,074
No, mom, I'm asking
218
00:08:46,076 --> 00:08:48,143
Is cousin Mitch
a blood relative?
219
00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:49,511
I'm not asking
about cousin pete,
220
00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:51,012
I'm asking about cousin Robin!
221
00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:52,013
Mitch!
222
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:52,914
Cousin Mitch!
223
00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:54,249
Well, just find out
from uncle frank
224
00:08:54,251 --> 00:08:55,250
And call me back!
225
00:08:55,252 --> 00:08:56,852
Well, then, go
visit cousin cecil
226
00:08:56,854 --> 00:08:59,020
At his sky-diving school
and ask him!
227
00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:01,890
Oh, god, he did?
228
00:09:02,992 --> 00:09:04,125
Well, I guess that can happen
229
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,794
No matter
how experienced you are.
230
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,662
I'm so sorry.
231
00:09:08,866 --> 00:09:10,866
My cousin cecil...
232
00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:12,133
Got fired.
233
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,368
Oh.
234
00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:14,870
That's a relief.
235
00:09:14,872 --> 00:09:17,073
He was so distraught, he jumped
off a bridge; he's dead.
236
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,243
Um... I'm so sorry
for your loss.
237
00:09:22,211 --> 00:09:25,580
It may be our loss.
238
00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,784
Just click on "options"!
239
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:32,787
All I see is a man
holding a bratwurst!
240
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,055
Oh.
241
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,658
No, the pornography's back.
242
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,501
I said, please turn off
all electronic devices.
243
00:09:39,729 --> 00:09:41,329
Oh.
244
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,665
This isn't an
electronic device.
245
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,400
This is actually a toy.
246
00:09:45,402 --> 00:09:47,035
For my son.
247
00:09:48,037 --> 00:09:49,671
We call it phone-y.
248
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,640
I call you phony.
249
00:09:51,642 --> 00:09:54,843
We can't take off
till you hang up.
250
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,745
Okay, enough.
Give me that phone!
251
00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:58,013
Just click
on "options."
252
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,414
I don't see it!
253
00:09:59,416 --> 00:10:01,483
I said, give me the phone!
254
00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:02,651
Just click on "options"!
255
00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:04,252
Stop yelling at me!
256
00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:05,420
Just click
on "options."
257
00:10:05,422 --> 00:10:06,421
Give me the phone.
258
00:10:06,423 --> 00:10:07,689
Click on "options"!
259
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,758
Click on...
I have a baby!
260
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,860
Please, I-I have to get
to New York.
261
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,428
Yeah, well, you should
have thought about that
262
00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:14,529
Before you attacked me.
263
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,931
All right, boys, you got this?
264
00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,165
Good.
265
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,000
Let's get this bird in the air.
Ah, you're both
266
00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:20,468
Banned from this flight.
267
00:10:22,572 --> 00:10:25,407
So I was driving with my
friend, who thinks he's
268
00:10:25,409 --> 00:10:26,942
"the road trip master."
269
00:10:26,944 --> 00:10:30,045
He has leather driving gloves.
270
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,446
Who wears those?
271
00:10:31,448 --> 00:10:33,949
Huge dorks, that's who.
272
00:10:33,951 --> 00:10:34,950
Your mother was lying.
273
00:10:34,952 --> 00:10:37,118
She had her own pair.
274
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,553
And he always makes us stop
275
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,456
To see some weird
roadside attraction
276
00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:44,859
No one except him
gives a crap about.
277
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,294
Nerd alert.
278
00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:48,029
Kids, you remember
the seven-hour detour
279
00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:49,731
on our road trip
to disney world
280
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,467
so your mother didn't miss
that goat in South Carolina
281
00:10:52,469 --> 00:10:53,935
who could blow smoke rings.
282
00:10:53,937 --> 00:10:58,406
And he won't go one mile an hour
over the speed limit.
283
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,975
That would drive me crazy.
284
00:10:59,977 --> 00:11:02,944
I would give him
a humiliating nickname
285
00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:05,814
Until he stopped driving
like a little girl.
286
00:11:05,816 --> 00:11:08,383
It was "Lady Tedwina Slowsby."
287
00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:10,885
And it worked.
288
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:14,422
Okay, look, if it's
true, if we are...
289
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,125
You know.
290
00:11:17,127 --> 00:11:18,793
It's really not that big a deal.
291
00:11:18,795 --> 00:11:20,428
Okay, we-we know
we won't have kids.
292
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,896
And even if we did,
293
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,798
King joffrey's parents
were brother and sister,
294
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,433
And he was
a fair and wise leader.
295
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,936
Yeah. Look, no one
ever needs to know but us.
296
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:28,770
Exactly.
297
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,139
I know.
298
00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:36,244
We might have to...
299
00:11:36,246 --> 00:11:38,346
Take care of ranjit.
300
00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,482
Hey, you just finished my...
301
00:11:40,484 --> 00:11:42,651
Creepy telepathic
murder thought.
302
00:11:42,653 --> 00:11:45,920
Oh, it must be
a soul mate thing.
303
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,122
Unless...
304
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:50,692
It's a weird cousin thing.
305
00:11:52,329 --> 00:11:55,096
So we'll be good
either way, right?
306
00:11:55,098 --> 00:11:56,464
Honey?
307
00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:00,101
That's right... Sweetie.
308
00:12:00,103 --> 00:12:02,537
Now, get over here, you.
309
00:12:02,539 --> 00:12:05,940
Gah, just try and stop me.
310
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:19,521
Aw.
Ooh, ooh.
311
00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:21,489
Ooh, mmm, mmm, mmm.
312
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,991
Well, I can't wait
till tonight.
313
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:24,159
I have got some
314
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,493
Naughty-naughty-naughty
things planned.
315
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,795
Aw.
316
00:12:26,797 --> 00:12:29,230
Oh, wow, you have certainly
piqued my incest.
317
00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:30,532
Interest. Interest!
318
00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:36,004
I still can't believe he dragged
me to the childhood home
319
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:39,307
Of some stupid bucklesmith
no one's ever even heard of.
320
00:12:39,309 --> 00:12:41,843
Yeah, who cares
about florian van otterloop?
321
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,878
I never told you his name.
322
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,346
Sumbitch?
323
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,183
I mean, why'd he have to
act that way?
324
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,919
He knows I hate
how he gets on road trips.
325
00:12:50,921 --> 00:12:54,022
It almost seems like
he wanted you to storm off.
326
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,890
But we're going
to the same place.
327
00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:58,993
There's no reason
why he'd want to ditch me.
328
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,396
And suddenly Lily remembered
that a week ago,
329
00:13:01,398 --> 00:13:04,032
I'd helped Robin look
for her long-lost locket.
330
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,134
But it was gone.
331
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,207
Then Lily told me
the locket actually got stashed
332
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,009
In my pencil box,
but when I opened it...
333
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,045
The locket wasn't there.
334
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,446
Good.
335
00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:19,581
'cause that locket's trouble.
336
00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:20,849
How? It's-it's just a friendly,
337
00:13:20,851 --> 00:13:22,016
Innocent wedding gift.
338
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,017
It's not innocent.
339
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,686
Ted, you think
340
00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:27,889
If you can get that locket
for Robin you'll win her back.
341
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,525
Lily, I've let it go.
342
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,198
I mean...
What?
343
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,767
There's, like,
a one percent chance
344
00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:41,069
That stella has the locket
from when we lived together.
345
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,404
Promise me you didn't call
the woman who left you
346
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:46,608
At the altar so that
you could find that locket.
347
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:47,809
Of course not.
348
00:13:47,811 --> 00:13:48,877
I e-mailed her.
349
00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:50,044
Ted.
350
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,246
But stella's living
in l.A. Now.
351
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,380
And even if she has it,
352
00:13:52,382 --> 00:13:53,748
It's buried
in some storage unit.
353
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,049
She said I'd have
to fly out there
354
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,918
And look for it myself.
355
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,053
Promise me you aren't
about to do that.
356
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,822
I promise.
357
00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:03,057
Sumbitch!
358
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,009
You better hope when sweaty
finally gets off that phone,
359
00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:23,111
He can get me on the next flight
to New York.
360
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,346
I got the password from my mom.
361
00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:27,015
I'm gonna take that
photo down myself.
362
00:14:27,017 --> 00:14:29,117
You know, I don't give
a damn about your photo.
363
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:31,452
My daughter is giving
a big speech for the model u.N.
364
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,922
At her school, and I'm
gonna miss it because of you.
365
00:14:36,827 --> 00:14:39,260
Her father and I are separated.
366
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:40,695
She lives with her dad.
367
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:44,098
And if I don't make it...
368
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,968
She's never gonna
trust me again.
369
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,103
I'm so sorry.
370
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,872
Wow, that worked on you?
371
00:14:50,874 --> 00:14:53,608
Let's hope pit stains is
as dumb as you are.
372
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:55,176
What? Why is this
so hard for my mom?
373
00:14:55,178 --> 00:14:56,177
All you do
374
00:14:56,179 --> 00:14:58,012
Is you click the photo,
375
00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:59,981
And then you click on the...
376
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,817
I don't see...
I don't see "options."
377
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,953
Just click on "options."
378
00:15:04,955 --> 00:15:05,954
But where is it?
379
00:15:05,956 --> 00:15:06,988
Just click on "options."
380
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,456
Is it up on the toolbar?
381
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:10,358
Just click on "options."
it's not there!
382
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,428
Just click on "options"!
383
00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:18,733
Hi, grandma.
384
00:15:18,735 --> 00:15:21,069
You-you can explain how
cousin Mitch is related to us?
385
00:15:21,071 --> 00:15:23,137
Explain, grandma, explain!
386
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,073
Okay, he married
Barney's dad's cousin Renee,
387
00:15:25,075 --> 00:15:26,674
Who he met selling vachon cakes
388
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,077
Outside a curling bonspiel
in chicoutimi.
389
00:15:29,079 --> 00:15:30,378
English, grandma, English!
390
00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:33,081
And on our side of the family,
he was adopted
391
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:34,883
Because his real parents
were eaten alive
392
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:36,017
By their sled dogs?
393
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,019
That's awesome!
Thanks, grandma.
394
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,656
So...
395
00:15:41,658 --> 00:15:44,225
So you and I share
no dna whatsoever.
396
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:46,361
Let's change that.
397
00:15:47,998 --> 00:15:49,764
Don't hold back.
398
00:15:49,766 --> 00:15:52,166
This divider is
totally soundproof.
399
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:55,536
Go all the way.
400
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,005
Wait till the hotel?
401
00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:57,972
Totally.
402
00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:00,241
Hey, you know what?
403
00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:03,211
I'm not worried about a wild
card at our wedding anymore.
404
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,780
Whether it's uncle Vic
or aunt Shelly
405
00:16:05,782 --> 00:16:06,848
Or the ring bear.
406
00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:08,416
Ring bear-er. Er.
407
00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:10,752
Whether any
of those mammals go rogue,
408
00:16:10,754 --> 00:16:14,422
Our wedding is
gonna be legendary.
409
00:16:15,424 --> 00:16:17,058
No "wait for it"?
410
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,260
I've got you.
411
00:16:19,262 --> 00:16:21,963
I don't have to
wait for it anymore.
412
00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:37,879
It's a long story,
413
00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:40,114
But if we don't beat my friend
out to that wedding,
414
00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:41,416
It's gonna be bad.
415
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,885
This is too stressful.
I-I need to see Marvin!
416
00:16:43,887 --> 00:16:46,054
No! You made me promise
not to let you look,
417
00:16:46,056 --> 00:16:47,555
Because it's
only gonna upset you.
418
00:16:47,557 --> 00:16:50,758
Here, have another sum... Bitch.
419
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,828
No more sumbitches?!
420
00:16:53,830 --> 00:16:55,496
Give me the damn phone!
421
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,100
Just go to "edit"
on the toolbar!
422
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,468
No, "account settings"!
423
00:17:00,470 --> 00:17:02,070
Just click
on "options."
424
00:17:02,072 --> 00:17:03,438
Stop!
425
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,140
It can't be done.
426
00:17:06,142 --> 00:17:09,143
That photo is etched
in eternity.
427
00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:11,813
Long after humanity's
reign has ended,
428
00:17:11,815 --> 00:17:13,848
The only traces
of our civilization found
429
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,416
By earth's new ape masters
will be
430
00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:17,418
The top
of the statue of liberty
431
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,620
And this photo of me
pretending to be
432
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:23,291
A judge with a banana gavel.
433
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,426
Well, they'll probably like
the banana thing.
434
00:17:25,428 --> 00:17:27,061
The ape masters?
435
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,931
Sorry.
Lily's gonna see it,
436
00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:32,600
And we're gonna have
the biggest fight of our lives.
437
00:17:32,602 --> 00:17:36,037
Oh, I wish I could
see your wife kick your ass.
438
00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:38,439
I don't mean a physical fight.
439
00:17:38,441 --> 00:17:39,540
She's not an animal.
440
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,876
I'm sorry I tried to bite you.
441
00:17:41,878 --> 00:17:44,512
I'm sorry that I swatted you
on the nose
442
00:17:44,514 --> 00:17:45,847
With a rolled-up magazine.
443
00:17:45,849 --> 00:17:48,182
It's the only way I'll learn.
444
00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:54,522
Look, I haven't seen
my baby in a week.
445
00:17:54,524 --> 00:17:56,624
You know what?
446
00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:58,092
Go for it.
447
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,003
It's gone!
448
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,538
It's gone!
449
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:11,672
You did it!
450
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,475
You did it!
451
00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:18,312
No new insulting Marvin photo.
452
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,081
Hmm.
453
00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:24,852
No new insulting Marvin photo.
454
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,388
I know I'm just a stranger
on a train
455
00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:31,426
Who you tried to bite, but...
Do you want a hug?
456
00:18:53,616 --> 00:18:56,250
Lily! What the hell?!
457
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,090
Ted and I had some
road trip issues.
458
00:19:02,092 --> 00:19:04,025
Did he put on the gloves?
Mm-hmm.
459
00:19:04,027 --> 00:19:05,359
That tackle was justified.
460
00:19:06,295 --> 00:19:08,062
What's this?
It's for you.
461
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,864
Don't open it.
462
00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,069
With all
the big changes coming up,
463
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,605
I just wanted Robin
to remember her friends.
464
00:19:17,607 --> 00:19:20,408
We all want nothing but
happiness for you and Barney.
465
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,009
Right, Lily?
466
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,879
Right.
467
00:19:24,881 --> 00:19:27,048
Oh, wow.
468
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,282
That was, what, eight years ago?
469
00:19:28,284 --> 00:19:29,283
Yeah.
470
00:19:29,285 --> 00:19:31,319
Eight years.
471
00:19:32,287 --> 00:19:34,222
Thanks, Ted.
472
00:19:39,895 --> 00:19:42,630
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get checked in.
473
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,501
Marshall's flight just took off.
474
00:19:46,503 --> 00:19:48,102
My boys will be here soon.
475
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,071
Oh, yay.
476
00:19:50,073 --> 00:19:51,973
Actually, Lily's boys were
just learning there was
477
00:19:51,975 --> 00:19:55,076
Only one more flight out
to New York with one seat left,
478
00:19:55,078 --> 00:19:57,011
And it was all the way
across the airport.
479
00:20:15,597 --> 00:20:17,698
You're not gonna
tackle me again, are you?
480
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,033
I'm the maid of honor.
481
00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,868
There's a good chance
that won't be
482
00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:22,303
My only tackle of the weekend.
483
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:23,938
It wasn't.
484
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,140
Look, I'm sorry.
485
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,976
I just got it in my head
that you somehow managed
486
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,978
To track down that locket
in los angeles,
487
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,980
And now you were gonna
blow up the wedding.
488
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,749
You really think I'm that crazy?
489
00:20:35,784 --> 00:20:38,219
I guess that's fair.
490
00:20:38,221 --> 00:20:42,156
Look, even though I was wrong,
tell me you aren't thinking
491
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,825
About doing anything
insane this weekend.
492
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,861
Of course not.
493
00:20:46,863 --> 00:20:49,463
And all I can say, kids,
494
00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:53,000
Is at that moment,
I really thought I meant it.
495
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:56,904
But the truth is...
You never know
496
00:20:56,906 --> 00:20:58,973
who's gonna be the wild card
at a wedding.
497
00:20:58,975 --> 00:21:06,975
Hi. One ticket
to Los Angeles, please.